'Where the North Wind meets the Sea, there's a river, full of memory.

Come, my darling, homeward bound.

When all is lost, then all is found…'

Ahtohallan called her.

Riding across the Dark Sea on the back of the Water Spirit, Elsa, the former Queen of Arendelle and now Fifth Spirit of the Enchanted Forest only had to close her eyes to feel it, just as she could feel the wind ripping past her face and smell the spray of salt from the water around her.

It didn't call through her mother's voice as it had once though. It was something new - she had become something new. Something different.

But a good different!

Now, she was free and in her very soul she could feel the call. Gentle, soothing, seductive and constant. No longer a voice worrying and pulsing and pressing and pulling against her magic until she felt like she was about to explode...

No, now a part of her was forever a part of Ahtohallan … and a part of Ahtohallan was forever a part of her.

She was calling to herself … and thus she all but flew across the Dark Sea.

Not so Dark today...

Elsa exalted in the bright sunshine as she opened her eyes again. The treacherous, crashing sea that had almost killed her several times had vanished with her ascension. The memory of that awful fight with the Water Spirit -upon which she now rode- making her shiver. Remembering her lungs bursting for air as she was pushed under the water again and again and again , desperately fighting to stay alive. Helpless and unable to bring her magic to bare as she had with the Wind and Fire spirits.

Not until she had desperately stopped trying to fight it and tried - in desperation she admitted - to ride it. Harnessing it and moving with it… and at that moment, a connection had been made as they started to move together . Then, the seas suddenly calmed into the same glacial stillness she found now.

But a part of her couldn't help but wonder … did that mean the Water Spirit had been responsible for the impassable sea for all these years in its wild, angry state?

And … did that mean it had killed her parents?

She didn't ask the question of the Nokk through the connection they now shared. Partially because she wasn't sure if it would -or could- answer her.

Partially because she was afraid of the answer.

She didn't fear the Nokk itself of course. The events inside Ahtohallan had linked her to it and the other spirits in a way she still didn't understand...but…

No. She told herself firmly, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes again, to suck up the fear … and slowly let it go. Sometimes, the past was best left in the past. Now she was only looking forward - as the freedom was hers to do so.

Her smile returned in full force as she opened her eyes to take in the glory of Ahtohallan as they arrived. She slid off the Nokk as it came to a halt at the water's edge, turning to face it and touching her head to its own, sending her wordless thanks and respect as one spirit to another as she let her power flow through and into it. She felt it's joy as it shifted back into its liquid form, prancing back into the water before leaping into the air. She laughed at its antics before it crashed back into the sea with barely a ripple and dissipated into the great body of water, the spirit becoming an ocean as the ocean became a spirit...

Now where had that thought come from? Elsa wondered idly, before dismissing it with a smile, simply wishing the spirit well.

Instead, she turned to start up the slope of the glacier; the place of legend where the North Wind met the Sea. The river full of memory winding down to meet them. At peace and relaxed, her powers flowed out silently without any restraint or suppression, nor even active use. It was like breathing; she could control her magic just as she could control her lungs when she chose to, but otherwise, here , her magic just … breathed on its own. A state of relaxation she hadn't really ever felt anywhere except her Ice Palace - but even that couldn't compare to this. Her powers flowing out and blending into the aura of magic that radiated from this place naturally, whispers of welcome tingling across her soul as she slowly made her way up. Her wispy white cape flowed behind her in the gentle but steady breeze as she looked around; marveling at how this place shined under the sun. At how different it looked in the light of day. At peace.

The first -and only other- time she had come here, in the night, she had been …

Exhausted from her trip and fight with the Water Spirit, yet exiliterated as she had never been before as her journeys end approached.

Uncertain of who she would find, but at the same time absolutely certain of her path, every step she took almost predestined as she made her way through the glacier deeper and deeper, unerringly, the lights flowing and glowing around her.

Driven as she had heard the voice strongly then, not simply as a distant sound but as power in the very air, filling the night as she dove into the very source of magic itself. Feeling her own magic resonating with it, knowing that the Fifth Spirit was here and all the answers she had been desperately waiting for, for all of her life, were finally in her grasp…

Not the answer she had been expecting, but answers nonetheless.

'Come my Darling, Homeward bound! You are the one you've been waiting for, all of your life! the voice of her mother had exalted as power had flowed around and through her.

Had it truly been mother's spirit? Or had it been Ahtohallan itself, taking a memory from her to present itself?

She didn't know.

But the truth she had found was undeniable. That voice had called her to embrace the fact that shewas the Fifth Spirit as her magic had resonated and all but overloaded … and at that moment of revelation, she had … changed.

More than simply the cosmetic reforming of her dress, the other spirits had somehow become truly connected to her - and she to them in turn. Her power had grown beyond her understanding, leaving her enlightened of her true identity … yet still wildly ignorant of what it all meant .

More than just establishing a true connection with the other Spirits, she needed to understand what it meant to be the Fifth Spirit, what it meant to be the one who maintained balance. And she thought that somehow, Ahtohallan understood that uncertainty and confusion in her heart and had invited -not called- her back here to learn.

"For I am found" she sang lightly with a soft smile as she reached the entrance into the vast caverns in the glacier, the dark tunnel lighting at her approach as she made her way down it, daylight somehow sleeping through the icy walls too in breathtaking refractions of rainbows. She followed the same path she had before, every step, twist and turn forever burned into her mind from that night. While before she had sprinted and slid and jumped and raced through the vast caverns, desperate to find the source of her voice, this time she-

'Promise me that we do it together , okay?'

Elsa stopped so suddenly she would have surely slipped over if not for her natural affinity with ice, her smile vanishing behind a look of confusion as she heard Anna's voice. Faintly, yet clearly.

It was a discordant note in the harmony welcoming her back. And she remembered when her sister had said it, asking her to promise before they entered the mists that they would face what was inside together.

The promise she had made … and broken.

Shaking off the memory with a slight frown, she continued forward and through the tunnels, her hand lightly tracing and feeling the power flowing through this place and letting it wash away her disquiet. It was much like her Ice Palace had been in some ways, but while that place was an extension of her power, this was something that both was and was not. Part of her was here … but there was so much more than too and the feeling was deeply seductive. Distracting too; before she knew it she had reached the great columns she had materialized to cross the chasm and with a wide smile she leaped into the air once more-

'Please don't shut me out again!'

-and she very nearly missed her landing and fell down a very long way as again, Anna's voice seemed to come from ahead of her, landing awkwardly and freezing in place, shaken.

'Please don't slam the door!'

After a moment to collect herself and listen, without her sisters voice coming again, she waved her hand and her powers flowed out to tie the columns together and to both sides of the chasm; an elegant bridge much like the one she had spun out of air and joy on the North Mountain three years ago forming that she crossed calmly … carefully .

She did not find Anna waiting for her.

Unsurprising that; her sister was back in Arendelle. She had only just sent her a letter via Gale this very day - and she touched the paper which was folded neatly inside a pocket close to her heart where she kept such things and finding a reassurance in the physical feel of it-

'We can head down this mountain together!'

Again the voice came from just ahead as if she was here around the corner … and she now recalled this conversation. It had been her sister begging her to trust her all those years ago at the ice palace. Trying to convince her to come back home … and she had pushed her away.

Some things never change Elsa thought with a slow exhale. And some things stay the same.

On that day, she had given into her fear no matter how much she claimed she was free . Right before in that fear she had lost control and she had-

With a sharp breath she closed her eyes and pushed that memory away - and in doing so realised, finally, the obvious. The memories were not coming from within.

They were coming from without. From Ahtohallan .

"Why?" she asked, in soft confusion, pressing a hand lightly to the icy walls, her voice echoing through the tunnels and chasms behind her. Why would it keep reminding her of all the times she had pushed her sister away?

No answer came though - except for again that gentle urge, leading her onwards.

A little more carefully now, she did continue -without any further memories- and a short distance later she passed through the familiar triangular doorway. The columns she had raised from the ground still stood astride the path to it, glowing in their welcoming hues. And beyond the doorway in the middle of the chamber the symbol - her symbol- sat the flawless floor pulsing with light as she approached it, flanked by the four symbols of the other spirits in a symmetrical harmony of design. Her worries, her confusion; all of it vanished as she stepped into the room and was almost overwhelmed by the power flowing through it - so much more than the first time she had been here! If that was because she was now here in the full majesty of the Fifth Spirit, or, because Anna in destroying the dam had restored the balance?

She didn't know. She didn't care.

She skipped all the same to the light, feeling like a young child as her white dress and the four symbols of the other elements started to glow as she reached them and-

A massive, multi-color column of magic exploded out up; hitting the roof just as it had last time, before washing down the great dome and bringing a wave of mist with it, Elsa intensely eager to see what Ahtohallan wanted to show her as its power spiraled and built-

The mist cleared seconds later, vanishing into nothing … and her eyes went wide in amazement as she found herself in Arendelle.

The massive fragmented dome projected the city, the mountains beyond and the sky above in a kaleidoscope of fractals that nonetheless felt intimately familiar to her. While directly around her, ice and snow moved; a living diorama of her immediate surroundings that stunned her for how amazing and perfect the recreation was, feeling her power moving as part of it with such incredible control. Far greater than anything she had seen on her last visit here.

She looked around in childlike wonder, trying to get her bearings. She … was in the town square ... and it had to be a recent memory as she recognized Oaken's little new trading stall that he had brought in only a few weeks ago off in the corner, murmurs of conversation all but inaudible from dozens of people made out of her gift -

Except for one voice who was quite clear.

"But why did she have to leave da?" a girl asked, sounding genuinely upset and she spun around following the voice - and spotted little Hannah. One of the village children she had met quite a few times when Anna dragged her out into the city - she had been in the choir she had assembled to sing for Anna's surprise birthday party all those years ago. Elsa had last seen her at the harvest festival, just before she had awoken the other spirits and Elsa smiled as she walked over slowly towards the girl and her family as her mother fussed with her dress. Remembering that as she had made toys of ice and snow for the children instead of an animal she had asked for a sextant!

That had thrown her for a loop … but she had somehow managed to form one. The look of delight on her face as she had run off to her family screaming loudly and waving it, with such joy...

In fact, that whole afternoon with Anna and Kristoff and Olaf and Sven and the townspeople had been just about perfect.

"Honey, Queen Elsa has … she has a new destiny that she has to follow" Hannah's Father, -William she remembered- replied gently as he knelt down to look her in the eyes. "She's the Fifth Spirit now - you saw her save Arendelle, remember?" and Hannah's eyes flashed, even in her icy form.

"That was soooo awesome!" she agreed with a rapid nod and Elsa couldn't help but giggle a little, holding a hand up to stifle it despite the fact that none of them could hear her, feeling her heart flutter a little at the praise.

"Then you saw that she's, well, beyond us all now" he continued to his daughter. "I'm sure she'll probably visit, sometimes, but we have to accept that this is the best for all of us. Elsa, from what I understand, isn't even really human anymore - that's her sister's job now! And I know you love Queen Anna just as much-"

"But she's so busy now and we never see her anymore and I still miss Elsa! Why'd she go? Weren't we good enough for her?" Hannah sniffled.

The smile on her face slowly drained away to be replaced with confusion as Elsa stared, her gaze flicking back and forth between the upset Hannah and her parents before Hannah nodded sadly and stepped back to go over to the other children nearby.

They thought she … that she wasn't even human anymore?!

"If you ask me" Hannah's mother -Anja she recalled- said in a low tone as she watched her daughter walk off with a critical eye, "there has to be more to this we're not being told. Those two girls were inseparable, always had each other's backs no matter what. But the Queen abandons her sister and Arendelle to go live off in the mountains, again? Not even coming to her sister's coronation - or even saying goodbye?" she shook her head with a disapproving tutting as she frowned and started dusting lint from her husband's jacket. "Well, I suppose at least now we know where we all stand in the eyes of this 'Fifth Spirit'."

Elsa was fully aware as Queen that people would talk about her behind her back - had accepted it. Of course, for years her fear had been that, Anna's optimism aside, her people would secretly fear or hate her while smiling to her face. The monster who had frozen her Kingdom and killed her sister.

It had taken some time for her to truly , in her heart, understand that the people of Arendelle were an amazing people. Forgiving and resilient in ways she had come to rely on almost as much as she relied on her sister. They had forgiven her the events of her coronation almost as soon as they were over and had come to embrace her - all of her. On her visits to the town and around Arendelle that Anna had constantly taken her on, she had found nothing but acceptance and even awe directed at her when she met people for the first time. Even thanks for the hard work she was doing for them!

She was sure people still complained behind her back about her ... but she had finally become confident that they were simply the complaints any monarch would have directed at them by virtue of being 'in charge' - not by virtue of being her. And even then, her advisors insisted she had very few complaints. Her Kingdom was thriving - especially compared to the discontent her reports showed from Weselton and the Southern Isles - as she worked hard to open new trade links and modernise the country and she was getting a great deal of the credit for that. The population was booming and the standard of living was growing with it. The words 'Golden Age' had even been thrown around a lot by both the people and by the nobility over the last year in fact - even if she privately thought people were overstating it.

And then … she'd run out on them without any explanation.

Her Father had always taught her that in the absence of facts, rumors would always step in to fill the gaps … and she had left a rather huge gap. Showing up to save the city with a massive unleashing of her powers on the back of a horse made out of water … before vanishing and Anna returning home days later, alone?

Still. She could fix this - she would fix it, the next time she was in Arendelle...

Her train of thought derailed though as the mist just as suddenly swirled back away from her again to show something new.

Something far more familiar and infinitely more precious to her materialised and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

Standing before her, was a Queen.

Wearing … ah; it had to be her coronation dress. Similar but different to hers (but another good different!), Elsa was filled with a surge of emotion she wasn't entirely ready for as she saw her baby sister preparing to step up to the throne, a crown on her head and looking every inch a ruling Monarch. And a woman.

She was so proud of her-

"... I don't know if I can do this Elsa."

- and the tiny, forlorn tone of Anna's voice stabbed her right in the heart.

A tiny gasp escaped from her mouth and she stepped forward in shock. Based on the room that had formed around them, Anna must have been having her coronation portrait painted given the snow formed easel, drop sheets and painting and supplies scattered around … but that wasn't what Anna was looking at now.

It was her coronation picture, showing on the wall in one of the fractals that she was talking too.

She hated that picture - even if she had put on her best fake smile and showered the egomaniac painter with praise until he had finished. She had been painted so … stiff. So formal. Trying to look regal rather than just be herself. After the Great Thaw she had had it banished from the entrance hall to this room where she wouldn't see it and cringe every time she walked in and out of the Castle, no matter how many people insisted she looked like a true Queen in it.

But Anna was staring at it with a look on her face that made her take a step towards her … before stopping herself a step later in frustration.

This had already happened she reminded herself. This wasn't really Anna...

"Anna, you can " Elsa muttered, her hands helplessly dropping to her sides as Anna -unknowingly- turned away from her and paced slowly, Elsa following and willing her thoughts through to her baby sister - even as she felt that Anna talking to pictures on the wall again could only be a bad sign. "You're so much stronger -"

" -weaker than you" Anna spoke at the same time and Elsa's eyes bulged, her thoughts screeching to a sudden stop with the abruptness of a trolley cart's brakes being thrown, her own strides stopping with equal abruptness.

Weak? Anna? Her sister Anna? THAT Anna?! Absurd!

"You were the perfect Queen" Anna sniffed as she stared at her picture, looking so lost and unsure about herself that Elsa again took a half step forward to touch her before, again, remembering herself and squeezing her fists in frustration as she stepped back. "I don't know if I ever told you that enough sis. How much everyone looked up to you? You worked so hard and were just so naturally good at being Queen! But me?"

Anna scoffed.

"Well, I can barely remember which meeting I'm even in! The klutz as always huh?!" she said in an ugly, sickening tone directed at herself that made Elsa bite her lip, painfully and squeeze her hands tightly again, her nails digging into her palm this time. "What the agenda is, what the paperwork even means, where I have to be next ... and watched by every counselor, every duke and advisor. Measuring me, as I fumble from meeting to meeting, against you . But hey, who can blame them? I don't, not when I'm just the second rate backup spare compared to the Fifth Spirit who saved the entire country with but a wave of her hand..."

"You are not a 'backup!" Elsa protested, feeling -irrationally- almost furious suddenly at Anna putting herself down like this.

Anna copying her was the absolute worst thing she could do or that Elsa would want her to do! The last thing in the world Arendelle needed!

Paperwork?

Council meetings?

Dealing with the various nobles of Arendelle that lived across their country in towns and villages far from Arendelle port itself?

That was nothing!

The true test of a ruler was in leadership . It was about holding to do what was right, not simply what was easy or convenient and setting that example for the nation. To hold the love of their people and for their people in their heart and do it all for them...

That was where her sister was a blazing sun to her tiny candle in the night. Beloved by and in love with her country. Always determined to do the right thing, no matter how dangerous or impossible. Far more than Anna may have even realized, her sister had been responsible for nudging her onto the right course during her reign and giving her the courage to see it through when her own courage faltered...

Had her sister forgotten everything she had done during her coronation?

Had she already forgotten the way her people, anytime she was out on the town, would swarm to her like sunflowers turning to the sun as it blazed across their sky?

Had she already forgotten what she had accomplished in the Enchanted Forest? Of how when she had fallen to her hubris here in Ahtohallan, her sister alone had been the one to stand up and prove-

"I mean, what exactly have I been doing the last three years to earn their trust or prove I could do the job?" Anna continued, suddenly sounding ... tired. Seeming to slump, as if the hateful energy -all energy- had fled her all at once as she rubbed her eyes then reached up to pull off the crown and not quite casually toss it onto the sideboard.

In all honesty, Elsa found this … lethargic Anna even more frightening than the self-loathing one.

Anna had never, not once, ever, run out of energy or passion for their people. Seeing it now...

" You were working for all of us, in your office. Day in, day out. Doing the hard, important things while I've just been skipping around Arendelle doing, well, let's be honest ... nothing! It's no wonder those nobles look at me as I stumble my way through the meetings and frantically flip through pages and wonder what the hell I'm doing in that chair ...because it's what I keep thinking when I realize everyone is waiting for the Queen to speak - and I realize suddenly that that's me! The biggest imposter of all time!"

Oh Spirits. Anna was clearly on the verge of crying and the first around Elsa's heart clenched at the warble in her voice, disbelief raging that this was actually happening … or had happened.

The disbelief was edged with rage though, her fists turning white in frustration as her nails dug deeper, Elsa embracing the pain as bringing a clarity and desire to go back to Arendelle and have 'words' with the nobles - and she had strong suspicions which ones they would be - who were clearly looking down upon the woman who would be the single greatest ruler Arendelle would ever have and trying to take advantage. Instead of supporting her as their oaths demanded!

"I could have - should have - been working with you. Taking some of your workload off your hands, learning how to actually help you" Anna muttered, shaking her head slowly, as if denying Elsa's distant feelings. "And if I had? Maybe … maybe you wouldn't have left me here alone. If I hadn't been so selfish …and maybe even if you had, I'd have a clue how to be even a fraction as good a Queen as you were."

"Oh Anna... " Elsa whispered, her head spinning as she watched the single most selfless and caring person on this planet call herself selfish.

But then her breath froze in her lungs as Anna- suddenly spun around to stare directly at her and a wild hope that, somehow, she could hear her as her arms entirely on instinct came up to grab her, hold her-

"It's okay" a new voice called out and Kristoff materialized out of the mist walking over to his fiance, his arms open and holding out his arms. Anna all but leaped at him as Elsa hastily backed out of the way, her sister's form of ice and snow blurring through where she had been standing to crash into Kristoffs as her arms dropped, watching as he wrapped his huge arms around her, holding her tightly and gently stroking her.

While part of her was almost jealous that Kristoff was the one to comfort her sister… a far larger part was just filled with relief that he had been there for her when she wasn't.

And with Anna just silently crying into him as he held her, Elsa had a moment to think. The logical 'Queen' part of her mind starting to come forward. With questions.

Starting with; why had Ahtohallan shown this to her?

There was some kind of intelligence behind this place of power and memory … but what was its interest? Its desire? Its purpose? It's intention?

Was this what it had called her here today to see? Was it just trying to torture her with knowledge of her failures?

Or was it her mind doing this?

She still knew so frustratingly little about how she had changed since the first time she had visited...

Finding no useful answers there, she moved on, her gaze -reluctantly- falling back to the tiny form of Anna wrapped up in Kristoff as he carefully brought them across to sit onto a large lounge, Anna clinging to him the whole way, just … holding him, looking so terribly small.

And that was wrong. So very wrong...

Her mind flashed back then over the three letters she had received from Anna thus far since they had parted ways at the border between Arendelle and the Enchanted Forest, her near perfect memory re-reading them over and over in her mind. Looking for a clue, a hint, anything…

There was nothing.

Suspiciously nothing come to think of it. Anna had spoken of how busy she was and the work she was doing … but she had only done so briefly. Her words were full of optimism that she was fine and Arendelle was equally fine. Like she didn't want to worry her.

In fact, Anna had spent very little time talking about herself but had focused entirely on her. Pages of asking how she was settling in. About the Northuldran's and their mothers people. About her new life as the Fifth Spirit. Asking if there was anything she needed to be sent to her? Anything she could do for her? Anything she wanted, no matter what-

"Hey" Kristoff's voice finally said as Anna's crying seemed to subside and she dragged her eyes back to the scene in front of her as he stroked her sister's hair ever so gently. "It's okay Anna, you'll be okay. You're okay…"

"Am I? " her sister sniffed in a muffled tone, her face still pressed against his chest. "I'm not ready for this Kristoff. I didn't ask for this. Elsa had three years to prepare after mother and father died and I ..." Anna stopped to take a slow, deep shuddering breath and slowly untangled herself, Kristoff silently reaching up to wipe away the tears that had stained her face.

"But Elsa needs me to do this. Arendelle needs me to do this … because there isn't anyone else" she said, taking a second deep breath, her voice steadying a little more … yet her face was still set with such a melancholy that Elsa felt her hairs stand up on her skin, for how alien she looked … as she stared into the face of her future husband.

"Elsa never had a choice Kristoff, she never once in her life was she given a choice about her future! But I can give her that. Give her the choice. The choice to, heh, be a free spirit?" She sniffed once, then started to talk faster, her voice getting jerky as she increasingly had to work to suppress the sobs trying to break though.

"I love her so much Kristoff … so if this is what she wants, I'll do whatever it takes to keep her happy … but oh Gods Kristoff. I hate myself for even thinking about it, but I just … I just … if she hadn't come back to me? If she and Olaf were lost and I just had to accept it and move on? If I had never had to know that she'd choose the Forest over Arendelle … and … and her magic over..." and at that Anna finally broke down completely and burst out crying, burying her face into her fiance as she sobbed, unable to finish the sentence.

She didn't need to. The word rang in Elsa's soul like a great enormous bell of the damned pronouncing her doom.

Me. She was going to say …me.

Despite knowing it was but a memory, despite knowing it wasn't really her sister, something inside Elsa snapped at that and she rushed forward wildly; desperate to reach even this similitude of her sister … but fast as a snake, the mist swirled back in and snatched it out from her arms, leaving her alone grasping nothing but mist and feeling-

Cold. She felt cold … cold ...

The feeling - that feeling - cut through everything and snapped her attention back. She gasped and jerked her gaze to her arms and hands in no small amount of fear for a moment before spinning around as she wildly looked at the rest of her body…

Then she forced herself to try and take deep breaths, to control the trembling of her body in the aftermath… in. Out. In. Out. In. Out...

No. No, she had not gone too deep into Ahtohallan, there wasn't any cold hitting her magically.

This? This was a different kind of cold.

A cold she had felt three times before.

She had felt it the first time as a child shaking her baby sister in a panic on the floor of the Throne Room, begging her to wake up from where she had fallen with the most horrifying thud that had echoed through her nightmares for the rest of her life to this day.

The second time she had been sitting against her door, clutching her knees to her chest, shivering and crying as the air stilled utterly in her room, Anna on the other side of her door, her voice clearly breaking as she begged her to come out and be with her after she had forced her sister to 'bury' their parents, such as it was, alone.

The most recent time being when she had looked up as a young woman, wondering when the sword (that she wanted to strike and just end this nightmare) was going to fall … and had only seen the frozen statue of her sister standing over her, having just shielded her from what should have been the killing blow.

Freezing to the touch.

Frozen and so very still in a grotesque parody of the sheer life that had been her sister. The consequences to Anna of her magic and her failure on display for all the world to see.

Always , the consequences to Anna.

In everything she did … Anna suffered from her actions.

Every. Single. Time.

And then Anna would, inevitably, forgive her.

Every. Single. Time!

No matter how far she pushed her, how much she deserved her sisters anger or scorn or sorrow or disappointment … she forgave her.

She half laughed, half sobbed as she slowly fell to her knees on the hard floor of flawless ice, tears flowing gently as she remembered when her sister's true memories had returned. For as the streak of white in her hair had vanished with her revival, so too had whatever magic the Trolls had put into place to manipulate her memories ... and over the next few weeks, those true memories had slowly filtered back to her.

Elsa had feared this day, fretted about it since the Great Thaw. Feared that Anna would (rightly and correctly) be furious at her once she knew the truth. Everything they had rebuilt in those precious weeks; the open gates and having Anna back in her life and her powers under control … despite all of it and Anna proving with victory over death itself how deep her love was, Elsa had almost pessimistically been sure that this was going to break everything. Deep in her heart, knowing she deserved everything her sister would throw at her when she remembered the truth.

Indeed, Anna had been furious … at the fact that Elsa had been blaming herself all these years for an accident .

The lecture-come-rant that followed the next evening when Anna had put it all together had made it very well known what Anna thought about her 'North Mountain Sized idiotic guilt complex!' (as she had put it to both her and probably anyone in the Castle; Elsa in some awe at how fast, loud and long Anna could speak for while pacing and wildly gesturing, seemingly without needing to take a breath).

Her tone hadn't been subtle, but her sister had left her no place to hide. Calming a little after her initial outbursts had backed Elsa into a corner like a scared kitten, she had all but dragged her to sit down and then with ruthlessness rarely seen, burrowed through her defenses and torn through the strangely comforting weight of guilt and self-loathing she had carried all her life, leaving her feeling entirely naked under those blazing eyes. The eyes that seemed to go from an empathic deep blue to a hard piercing green in a split second, slicing through every attempt she made to try and blame herself for that night - or all the nights that followed. Forcing her to confront everything she had tried to hide away from … even her assumptions.

No, Anna had simply held her as Elsa owned up to everything year after year, words spilling out faster and faster as she, in some bizarre way, wondered if she almost wanted her sister to hate her. Pointing out that it hadn't been their parents who had kept them apart, not truely. They had tried to get her to come out of her room and spend time with her -just without using her magic- for years, but she had pushed them and everyone else away in terror rather than having the courage to face her fears. Not even daring to talk back through the closed door lest she somehow lose control.

Almost desperately, Elsa had tried and tried to get Anna angry as she vented everything. To righteously show her fury, entirely deserved, for the decade of pain and loneliness she had inflicted upon Anna time after time … to have Anna punish her as she oh so deserved to be...

But Anna just kept repeating herself over and over again.

"Elsa, it wasn't your fault. It was just an accident. And I love you..."

Sometimes said gently. Sometimes said sharply. Sometimes said with a kind of wry exasperation … but coming from a heart that had defied death itself with its power, it had smashed into her with the force of an almighty battering ram every time she tried to hold onto the guilt as she had stayed with her. It had been so very painful, like ripping off old bandages … but necessary like … well … ripping off old bandages. Finally letting wounds Elsa had been hiding all her life start to heal as, inevitably, the sun had risen in the morning on a brand new day as the night had ended with Anna holding her in her arms.

"Elsa, you were only trying to protect me, I understand that now and I love you so much for keeping me safe the only way you thought you could...no matter what it cost you. "

By the end of it all, she had been reduced to a silent, sobbing ruin, no longer the powerful Snow Queen of Arendelle but a child clutching her sister and crying as she was, almost against her will, forgiven. Simply smothered with Anna's love as she simply forgave her everything freely and happily for now she had her sister back. They had fallen asleep together at dawn. Elsa felt exhausted … yet at the same time, so much lighter than she had felt for most of her life.

"Forget yesterday, think about what we're finally going to be able to do tomorrow. Together "

Love, again, had conquered fear. And that's what Anna was. Love. Pure love. Patient love. Kind love that had dragged her out of her self pity and self hatred into a new day.

But above all, Anna was selfless.

Oh spirits she was selfless! In too many ways and too many times, Elsa had hurt her sister by pushing her away through their childhood and youth without Anna having any understanding why … yet Anna had never given up on her. Anna had sacrificed her life for her without hesitation after all those years! An act of such true selfless love that it had overpowered even her magic and restored her life in defiance of death, something even ancient primordial magical forces had only done incredibly rarely in the legends.

Everything up to the Great Thaw could perhaps be excused in some tiny way as the fears of a child or the flawed decisions of a young woman trying to protect her sister … but from that day, with everything in the open; Elsa had sworn she would try to be worthy of her sister's love and sacrifice.

And behold how well you've done that Elsa! Her mind scathingly charged her in silent accusation … and the harsh truth was too much.

Elsa dropped her face into her hands and collapsed fully to sit on the floor, unmoving, ignoring the spike of pain as she all but fell onto the hard ice. Silently letting the tears flow. Her powers swirling around her (thankfully harmlessly absorbed into Ahtohallan itself rather than starting a winter storm) wildly as she wondered how everything had gone so wrong , so fast over and over.

Perhaps a minute passed. Perhaps an hour. Perhaps a lifetime. But eventually, slowly, bit by bit, Elsa found the willpower inside herself to start to pull herself back together. The part of her that had been a Queen refusing to simply let her sit here and cry all day and feel more sorry for herself than for her sister . And as she dried her eyes off, starting to get her poise back, her blurry gaze happened to focus in on the great pulsing snowflake symbol on the floor she was sitting on, flanked by the symbols of the other four elements … and a truth leapt into her mind in a sudden anger that burned and sharply refocused her thoughts.

The voice!

Yes, that damn voice that had started singing three weeks ago! That was what had disrupted her ideal life and brought Anna to such … misery…

No … no.

That was unfair - and wrong, she thought with a slow sigh as she redirected her gaze slowly around the incredible cavern, even now unable to do anything but marvel at its stunning beauty she both saw with her eyes and felt with her powers. Her anger vanished like a well oiled chain slipping through her fingers. Because no matter how greedily and desperately she wanted to hang onto the idea that it was the root of all her problems, she couldn't … because there was nothing there.

It wasn't the siren call of Ahtohallan that was the problem.

Ahtohallan simply … was .

Her power was here as much as it was inside her. It had simply called to her; like to like - it had not dictated the way she had reacted.

That … had been all her. The all too human part of her.

First, she had dismissed it as but a whisper on the wind until it had grown too powerful for her to simply pretend she could ignore it. And on that day it had become so seductive, as she stood on the balcony of her castle looking up-Fjord, finally convinced it was real and being startled by Kai coming up behind her … what had she done?

The same thing she always did. And that was her first error in all this.

How many times had promised her sister that the 'gates' would always be open? That she would never shut her out again? That they would face any problems together? She honestly couldn't have guessed because she had said it so many times. Yet when push came to shove, at the first real test … she had fallen right back into her old habits.

She had given into her fear and closed her sister out, afraid that she would hurt her or drive her away, even as her powers had raged and pushed at her as the voice grew in strength, resonating with her magic in a way she just didn't understand yet…trying to keep everything hidden…

Because secretly, she had wondered.

A greedy hope deep in her heart that perhaps, just perhaps, there was someone else out there with magic. Someone just like her! For as much as she loved her sister and her family, a part of her had always felt so terribly alone ...

No other living person had been found, by herself or her parents anywhere in or around Arendelle with magical powers - outside of the Trolls of course - in living memory. All her life she had dreamed that somewhere out there was someone who shared her reality. Her world. Someone who would come and help her, teach her … save her.

She had gained control over her powers in the aftermath of the Great Thaw with her sister's revelation that love would always thaw and was far more powerful than fear, yet that secret dream of 'someone else' like her, remained.

It was so selfish of her. Her sister shared everything with her, with no boundaries or walls between them … and she, at the first real test, had hidden the truth away. Evaded her sister's concerned gaze and smiled, saying nothing was wrong. She had jealously guarded that voice. Listening in fascination as it grew stronger, feeling its lure almost like a physical thing trying to pull her towards it as its siren call became a demand that throbbed against her magic until...

...until she had been caught red handed in her night clothes on a cliff face sheepishly admitting to her sister and people, kicked out of their own Kingdom, that she might have awoken the spirits of the Enchanted Forest after hearing a voice calling to her for weeks by calling back with her magic and getting a quite … loud … response. That had put them all in incredible danger.

Anna had called her on her betrayal (even if Anna would never call it that, that is what it was) before - of course - forgiving her. But her sister had extracted a promise. Forcing her to look into her eyes as she clutched their hands together on the edge of the enchanted forest, making her promise that they would do this together.

And she had so promised. Of her own free will.

Yet again at the test, when push came to shove … she had betrayed that promise as readily as all the other times she had made it.

Ignoring her sisters warnings, attempting to walk away without her time and time again, charging into fire without any care for the risk - then being mad when Anna dared followed her! Blaming herself for their parents death, of robbing Anna of their mother and father, no matter how forcefully Anna had pointed out to her (A QUEEN who should know better!) that their parents were adults capable of making their own decisions and that it was not her fault. That all people had to have the right to make their own decisions and stand by their own choices…

She had failed to understand that or hear the warning in her sister's voice, selfishly blaming herself before compounding her error!

No matter that Anna had made the -prophetic!- point that Elsa needed her to stop her from going too far in this desperate, irrational desire to find this voice calling for her, she had broken her promise to do all of this together . She had treated Anna like a child - like Anna was still five years old. A child incapable of making her own decisions and judging her own risks … and she shoved her and Olaf away - by tricking them to come close and hug her, telling herself that it was for her sister's own good like she was a child to be locked outside her door once again.

And if not for her sisters incredible, genuinely heroic acts at the dam?

That would have been Anna's last memory of her.

I suppose she thought in mental exhaustion, it would have been an entirely fitting final memory. One last time I pushed Anna away and betrayed her trust...

"I just don't know how to help her' Kristoff's voice suddenly broke into her thoughts and she blinked, wiping away the tears as she raised her head to find that Ahtohallan had, again , brought up a memory to torment her.

It was Kristoff again but this time he was being presented as sitting on the ground near her … and he wasn't talking to her sister.

"We all want to help the ones we love my boy" Grand Pabbie calmly replied, the similitude of the Troll in turn sitting casually on top of a rock, his face wise and his eyes kind, even in the icy form he was being presented in. "But sometimes all we can do is be there to support them as best we can as they walk their own path."

"It's not enough Pabbie" Kristoff shook his head, frustration written on his face. "Anna needs more but I can't help her! I'm useless to her! Every day, I can feel her pushing herself that much closer to her limits, finding a way to stretch herself just a little bit more. She puts on a bright smile every morning but it's getting thinner and thinner - and at night when she's sleeping…the nightmares..."

Elsa flinched .

"Nightmares are the fears of the heart at their most pure - and all the more dangerous for that" Pabbie said slowly, his expression turning serious. "I … take it they have been ongoing since she returned without her sister?"

At his nod, Elsa closed her eyes and her head slumped completely into her hand, hints of despair poking at the back of her eyes. The joy she had felt only this morning as she had approached Ahtohallan so distant it felt like it had belonged to a different Elsa entirely.

She had suffered nightmares after the 'Great Thaw'. For months. A secret kept close to only the very inner circles of the Royal family as she woke in the middle of the night gasping and wildly looking around. Several times in that first week she had snuck out of her room, her powers pulsing dangerously as she walked to Anna's, if just to see her and look at her in her bed, snoring her adorable, drooling, bed-head face off. Alive, warm and well. Letting the love well up and banish that fear once again.

Anna had, of course (somehow) found out about this.. And then one night as she had gasped and woken shuddering and almost crying, Anna had suddenly materialized into the moonlight like an angel in the night; holding her shaking cold hands and firmly but gently telling her that she was right here. She was alive and everything was fine.

And without a word, had gently but firmly put her back to bed, lying next to her and holding her until she had fallen back to sleep … and she slept the rest of the night in a more peaceful sleep then she had known in … far too long.

It hadn't taken long then for the nightmares to start to recede and for her to sleep all the way through the night. And then Anna had retreated - yet several times she had woken up with mother's scarf draped over her. A silent message from her sister that she was still watching out for her - and always would, until the nightmares had finally been replaced by far happier dreams of their future lives laid out before them rather than the past behind them. She had clearly suspected something was going on when the voice was calling her in the way she had suddenly decided to 'have a sleepover' with her after such a long time.

But Anna hadn't said anything about nightmares in her letter and Elsa hadn't even considered the possibility …

Another error.

Anna had clung almost painfully to her upon their reunion as she cried out that she had thought she had lost her … but had seemed to get back to her normal self quickly after they had brought Olaf back. And so Elsa had not hesitated in … telling her that she was leaving her and Arednelle forever, but would visit and was putting her in charge of the entire country.

And Anna had, because she was Anna , smiled and nodded and clearly suppressed her true feelings because it would make her happy.

And you took full advantage of that! Deep down, you knew she would never deny you this -or anything- and so you pushed it at her, didn't you!? A voice deep inside her soul quietly damned her.

She wanted to silence the voice mocking her choices by protesting that she had pushed Anna as the new Queen because Anna would become a greater Queen for Arendelle than she ever could be … but she couldn't.

In all honesty, she just … couldn't.

She hadn't asked - she had just told her sister that she had to leave and that Arendelle would now be her realm to lead. Oh, she had thought - and still thought - that Anna could and would do a better job than she ever could as Queen. Be the greatest Queen in the history of the nation! But, the hard truth was, in this place where she could not lie even to herself ... she had offloaded her sacred responsibilities as if they were meaningless . That her revelation as the Fifth Spirit had ended the 'old' Elsa and that everything she had sworn or promised was thus null and void.

That her duties were burdens to be disposed of.

Responsibilities to be abrogated on a technicality.

Oaths that she owed to no-one, least of all herself.

As if 'Queen Elsa' and 'Fifth Spirit' Elsa were different people.

Deciding for Anna yet again, without any concern for her feelings, dreams, wishes or desires...because in her heart, she knew Anna would accept them without complaint or protest. Not because she was the best person for the job, but because it was an oh so elegant way to abandon every responsibility she had so she could run off and simply have fun! Like a child!

In that moment, she had acted more selfishly then she had in her entire life, taking advantage of her little sister's unconditional love to shed her responsibilities and duties behind sickeningly constructed justifications.

Her third error.

The most grievous error of all.

She had taken love for granted .

"Deep down, more than anything else, Anna is terrified of people leaving her" Kristoff was saying and Elsa's sapphire eyes were dragged, almost unwillingly back to him as she feared what he might say next. "I mean, one morning Anna woke up to find her sister had moved out of her bedroom and she wouldn't see her again for most of a decade, spending it more or less alone. Then she lost her parents, leaving her even more isolated. But in the end she got Elsa back again. All it took was chasing her up and down a mountain, almost getting eaten by wolves, thrown off a cliff by a snow monster, betrayed by the man she thought loved her and sacrificing her life for her sister … do you know what she calls that day Pabbie?"

The Troll titled his head slightly

"The best day of her life?" he suggested with a twinkle in his eye.

"No, the best day of …" Kristoff shook his head, then paused and stared at the troll for a moment, his mouth comically hanging open in a way that actually brought a faint twitch of a smile momentarily to Elsa's face before he shook his head. "I mean … yeah, that'' he said, awkwardly scratching his loose hair. " Because despite everything, Anna told me she'd freeze a thousand times in a row if it meant she got to 'wake up' to Elsa grabbing onto her and hugging her that tight at the end of it.'

Elsa could only close her eyes and let the fresh tears flow down her face at that revelation. Guilt, deeper than the well of Ahtohallan itself, started to thrash like the dark sea in a rage around her as Kristoff continued, unknowing how he was driving the guilt deeper into her soul.

"But now Elsa is gone. And I don't think Elsa has a damn clue, really, just what Anna went through in that cave - Anna closes right up on me whenever I even approach the subject. If not for Olaf blabbing … but even that's only part of it. Trying to get over what happened in the cave would be hard enough for anyone. Trying to do it without Elsa around anymore - even though she knows she is out there- is making Anna miserable. And that workload Elsa dumped on top of her without any chance to try and prepare? All by herself? It's burden on top of burden Pabby…"

"Kristoff, she still has you. And she clearly loves you-"

"My love just isn't enough! " he said and the sheer helplessness and anguish in his tone at that statement stabbed into her - even through her numbness. This man - this good man who had proven to her over the years that he adored her sister, was living his own nightmare - thanks to her. And she knew something about watching someone else suffering and not being able to do anything about it…and to think she had inflicted it on such a man.

She had the feeling somehow that Grand Pabbie had quite deliberately poked this to get exactly this reaction as Kristoff shot to his feet with wild energy, pacing and seething with motion as he gave gesture to his frantic helplessness and vented it out.

"I can hold her, I can hug her, I can try to tell her it's going to be okay, try to joke and make her smile … but I can't really do anything useful! Sometimes it's like she's not even there even when I'm holding her!" he didn't quite shout and Elsa didn't miss the hitch in his voice as she saw that with incredible detail, Kristoff, the utterly implacable mountain man who defined self reliance and control … was crying.

At least I could claim ignorance of the consequences of my selfishness and stupidity she thought numbly. He's the one standing by Anna, forced to watch as she's ground down day by day...

"I'm not a noble. I can't help her with her papers, I can't help her with all the decisions and political issues I don't understand. She has Kai and Greda and they're doing everything they can to help her and giving me a crash course in being a Queen's Consort at the same time … but it's just nowhere near enough. I'm watching the woman I love day by day as her shoulders slump just a little lower. No matter how wide she tries to smile in the mirror, no matter how much Olaf tries to cheer her up! She has nightmares at night, deals with a nightmare of a life during the day and there is no letup, no rest - it never ends! She is doing it alone Pabbie. And I think the only thing that keeps her going is thinking that it's all worth it if it makes Elsa happy".

Point in fact; Elsa, in fact, did not feel happy, at all, about that revelation.

"Do you think she is incapable of being Queen ?" Pabbie asked, his tone serious and Kristoff turned back sharply, shaking his head firmly as he rubbed his eyes harshly before taking a deep breath and calming down a little.

"No, not for a second. Elsa was right when she said that Anna could be an ever greater Queen then her - well, as great as her" he corrected himself as he moved to sit back down again, a deep frown of frustration shifting onto his face. " Elsa was an incredible Queen - everyone I spoke to in and around Arendelle agreed. I'm not sure Elsa ever really understood just how much she was loved - the awe and respect she had earned for herself over the last few years and how proud everyone was we had a unique and special person leading us. And how many people now think that somehow, we failed her? That she never really considered Arendelle her home? Everyone on the street loves Anna, but everyone wants to ask me what the hell happened with Elsa? But then, I don't understand what the heck happened with Elsa either Grandpabbie..."

"That I think makes two of us" she muttered in a low voice - yet she couldn't help but be struck in the heart about what Kristoff had said. He had always been - naturally- closer to the 'ordinary' people of Arendelle and what he was saying about how she had been perceived...

Kristoff, his venting seemingly done, seemed to collapse inwards a bit and slumped back to the ground in front of Pabbie, holding his head in his hands and letting her finally see just how tired he looked - truly.

There was silence for a time, then Kristoff seemed to take a few deep breaths and he looked up at Pabbie, who had simply waited patiently while he pulled himself back together, clearly having needed to get all that off his chest. And Elsa waited with them invisibly.

"Do you know what Olaf says love is?" Kristoff asked finally. " He says that love is putting someone else's needs ahead of your own."

"He is a very wise snowman" Pabbie chuckled.

"Yes, he is" Elsa agreed as that statement, unknown to Kristoff, became perhaps the most damning indictment of her actions yet. Because by that standard...oh Spirits, what had she done?

"Anna Loves Elsa so much Pabbie. She'll do whatever she can, stretch herself to breaking point and beyond if necessary, before she will ever, ever do something she thinks will let Elsa down. But she's not immortal or infinite. She'll throw herself at the problems, determined that either they give way or she will … and I'm terrified she's going to finally throw herself at one too many problems and …"

He didn't say exactly what he thought would happen, but Elsa none the less understood exactly what he meant. Anna … would break.

Shatter.

The unstoppable force they all knew would be dried up into a husk, a bright candle burned down to nothing far before her time.

And that thought terrified her.

She knew more than any other person in Arendelle the gravity and weight of the crown … and she had failedit.

She had sworn an oath. A sacred, binding, oath. Of her own free will. To protect and serve Arendelle and its people - including her sister. And she had oh-so-elegantly sidestepped out of it by dumping the crown onto her sisters head, justifying her casual abdication on the grounds that her kingdom would be better off under Anna. Ergo, she had fulfilled her oath on a technicality, so she could run off to Ahtohallan with a clear conscience.

Except, she hadn't.

As Kristoff had pointed out, she had had three years to prepare for her coronation and her parents had left contingency plans in place should they not return, with a regency council stepping in with little friction and helping her slowly prepare for that day. Training her as she focused everything she had on it so she wouldn't have to think about Anna or their parents. Without even considering the fact that she had always been trained to be the Queen. And while Anna had of course been given some training as 'the spare' while she was 'the heir', she was both older than her sister and had been the primary focus. She had been far more ready than Anna, even if she had been younger than her and she had been eased into it gently.

She had given Anna about three minutes of warning … then left her to it.

Even if Anna would be a better Queen … it still did not excuse her of her oaths. Of the responsibility that was hers and hers alone. Abdication was the gravest of choices, her parents had told her this over and over again as they had prepared her for her role. When Elsa had wondered why she shouldn't just abdicate in Anna's favor outright as a teenager, her Father had taken her to the throne room that evening. Just the two of them … and sat her on the throne.

'Few rulers can -or will- lower themselves to truly understand the plight of their people directly and that is almost inevitably their greatest failing Elsa' her Father had said to her that night - not long after the accident. 'But there are even fewer people who can raise themselves up selflessly, without ego, to effectively lead a nation. It is both the greatest honor and the greatest burden of our family to sit here, on this, for them - always for them. Never for yourself. One day' he said, stepping back a few steps to face her, sitting wide eyed on the Throne, clutching the armrests of the great wooden chair, 'this will be yours. And every time before you sit on it, when you wonder if you can … just tell yourself that you are doing it for all of them - even Anna - and you'll never fail and you will find peace.'

And she had done her best to be that Queen. She had worked so very very hard to prepare for the role, redoubling her efforts after her parents had died and the crown had fallen onto her shoulders. No matter how terrified she was of her secret being discovered she had refused to dishonor her family, her parents years of training her or her people.

And, after her secret had become public and said people had not simply accepted it but celebrated it? Their home no longer just a castle, but a home flowing with her magic over and through it. Ice decorating and fusing into it as she took up the throne and accepted the title of the Snow Queen of Arendelle. Showing everyone, not least of all herself, that she could be who she was. All of her.

And then she had run away from it all. Again.

For all her smoldering anger at the nobles who were apparently looking down on her sisters attempts to take up the burden of ruling rather than lifting her up, if she were to stand up and condemn them for it ... wouldn't they have every right (if not more) to condemn her for doing much the same and running away from her duties?

"Anna loves Elsa Pabbie - more than anyone or anything" Kristoff brought her attention back to the present as he continued to speak. " And I know for a fact that not one of the letters she has sent Elsa has said anything about how hard she's finding things. She would cut off her hand before she let it write anything that might worry her sister or deny her the freedom Elsa has after dumping all her responsibilities onto her" and Elsa cringed at the accusation in the man's voice, knowing full well how correct he was. "But I know Elsa - I know that no matter whatever the heck happened in Ahtohallan, she loves her sister. I refuse to believe otherwise and I know she'll come if she understands how bad a time her sister is having … but I can't reach out to her. I can hardly leave Anna to go for her sister - and if Anna felt that I doubted her abilities? I just … I can't think of that! But Pabbie, I know you have to have a way of getting a message to her telling her how badly her sister needs her big sister-"

"At which point Elsa would charge back on the Nokk with the speed of the wind spirit and the wrath of the fire and earth spirits in her heart?" Pabbie suggested with an arch look, his tone suddenly serious and not in any way jolly now, with the wisdom of ages running through it that made her shiver slightly. " She'd probably turn a half dozen nobles who had been undermining her sister into ice statues for a start in her fury, as a warning to the rest, then get all Anna's paperwork done, sort everything out and otherwise completely undermine her sisters authority and make everyone think that she was little more than a regent for her?"

The sheer bluntness -albeit without any real edge- shocked Elsa almost as much it seemed to shock Kristoff.

But what was most horrifying was … that he wasn't wrong.

If she had received such a message -without these memories from Ahtohallan to put everything into careful context or Pabbies wise council about taking rash actions? Well, she had a very good idea which 'two of three' nobles would be the ones causing Anna trouble and once she confirmed it she would-

Elsa gasped in shock. Having only a few weeks ago felt the pain, terror, helplessness and fear of being slowly frozen into a solid ice statue prison from her feet up until darkness took her, the idea that she could so readily, even eagerly think of doing that to another person…

The power -her power- terrifying in how great it was now- seethed under her fingertips and for the first time in forever she felt fear. Fear of her power. Of herself-

No!

She squeezed her eyes for a moment and pictured her sister's face, the silent look she knew very well telling her, making her know that she was better than this…

And the power slowly faded - as did some of the angst flowing around her heart as she kept thinking of Anna - and Kristoff - and Hannah and her people … and the complete mess she had made of her sister and her Kingdom with her rash, impulsive actions. And that this would not help them.

"A beginning is a most delicate time - the beginning of a new reign of a King or Queen the most delicate of all" Pabbie continued as if he had been waiting for her to get herself under control when Elsa opened her eyes again, shaken and understanding the anger was truly at herself, not at anyone else. "Today will be the greatest challenge yet for Anna with the formal start of her reign, you need to get back home before she wakes up" Pabbie said and Elsa again felt her heart skip a beat as she realized Kristoff had snuck out at night to visit his family. To ensure he would be there for Anna when she woke up by giving up his own sleep. Probably exhausting himself in the process. And that this memory must have been from only this very morning.

If, somewhere in her heart was any last sickening jealousy or envy of Kristoff the place in her sisters heart (that she had always been slightly possessive about) it quietly died unmourned as she realized just how much this man loved her sister. And how worthy he was of her.

"I will ensure Elsa finds out what she needs to know, my boy" Pabbie assured Kristoff. "But you need to go home to your soon to be Queen and soon to be Wife."

There was a pause and Elsa could see some of the tension leave the troubled man as he stood.

"Thanks … thanks Pabbie. For everything" he said with sincerity as he turned and started to walk away. "Hey, Sven? Come on, we've got to get home before Anna kicks my ass!" he said as he walked off into the mist, his voice fading into nothing.

"I think it's too late for me to avoid that " Elsa muttered lowly to herself as she closed her eyes and tried to find a centre in this utter disaster of a situation, feeling utterly lost-

"Well that sounds like a bit of an overreaction" Pabbie replied, mildly amused. "And as I understand, it's normally the privilege of the eldar human sibling to yell at the younger one?"

Elsa snorted at that.

"Clearly Pabbie, you have not spent enough time around…." then her voice trailed off as she blinked, then slowly with wide eyes brought her gaze back to the icy Troll … who was looking directly at her with a kindly, gentle smile.

What?!

"But … you … how?" she found herself spluttering with a rare lack of words as she stared at the impossible icy figure that laughed gently at her then flung his arms wide.

"Maaaggiiiicccc" Pabbie said in such an exaggerated tone and waved his tiny arms in such an over the top exaggerated manner in response to such an obvious question that Elsa couldn't help but hiss and then break into a snorting, snickering sort to laugh for a moment, reaching up to wipe her eyes and take a breath as the silliness cracked through her angst, just a little.

She'd needed that.

"Well now. Look at you! The Fifth Spirit of the Enchanted Forest!" Pabbie smiled in what seemed to be genuine pleasure, hopping lightly off the 'rock' he had been sitting on to walk over to her and to her amazement and awe with a wave of magic his icy form became … real?!

She didn't bother asking how; Ahtohallan clearly was playing by its own rules.

"You also look like a complete mess Elsa" he then added with a look that somehow mixed amusement and empathy in a dry way only the very wise could. "Some humans can pull off crying, you just do not have the complexion for it, my dear"

She managed another half laugh, half sob at that as she reached up and tried to dry off her face with her white sleeves, feeling her tears conveniently freeze and absorb into her dress.

"M'sorry" she got out, hating the way she was sniffing. The way she felt like a little lost child, how far she had fallen in such a short time!

She forced herself to take two deep breaths to centre herself before continuing.

"It's … it's just a lot to take in to realize how badly you failed someone when you were sure you had done the right thing."

" That , I can well understand" the Troll agreed with her as he came to a halt and carefully sat down next to her, letting out a sigh. "It reminds me of my own greatest failure sixteen years ago. When a terrified child who had suffered an awful accident came seeking wisdom and reassurance with her parents. And I failed her, her parents and her sister. Utterly."

Elsa was hardly blind to what he was talking about. But...

"Grand Pabbie" she said feeling slightly nonplused, "you tried your very best to warn me that fear would be my enemy. It is hardly your fault that either I or my parents failed to heed-"

"Elsa" he cut her off with a look of such authority that she closed her mouth almost before she realized it at the sheer authority and wisdom he projected without thinking that silenced her so easily. Then, after a moment of studying her he sighed again and turned, waved his hands and … lights started to materialize and dance above him, some part of her being perceiving that, somehow, he was drawing the power of Ahtohallan somehow. Her mist coloured and swirled into patterns. Patterns that made her, against her will and all the power she now possessed, flinch and feel like she was an eight year old child again. The blue silhouette clearly her, flanked by crowds of people with a snowflake above her … that went red as did the people, suddenly turned upon her in fear and anger and struck-

The image vanished and she gasped, fear spiking inside her-

"Yes. That " he said in a tone of ancient sorrow and regret, his gaze penetrating as she looked back down at him, his expression pained and genuinely ashamed as he looked away. "I hoped to show you that fear was something to be faced head on. To be conquered " he said, letting out a slow sigh. "Clearly I was badly out of practice dealing with humans, for I did the worst possible thing and terrified a child, you, who needed only love and her sister to face the world without fear . I set you and your parents on a course to fear yourself instead of embracing yourself. Of fearing powers you had perfectly under control and rejoiced in. Robbed you of Annas love and Anna of yours, leaving scars on so very many people. I may even have indirectly cost your parents their lives Elsa as they, in desperation to find a way out of the quagmire I had made of your lives, sought out this place" he looked around, raising an arm to idly take in the great chamber around them. "And fell trying to reach it."

Elsa swallowed, not knowing quite what to say to all of this as Pabbie for the first time seemed almost unable to meet her gaze, clearly bitter at his failings and what they had cost her and her family …

And then, from somewhere, deep inside her soul, she almost seemed to hear her sister whisper to her. And an iron clad certainty and empathy struck her.

"Pabbie" she said softly as she marvelled at the sudden strength she found from her sister's example in her heart as he looked up at her. "You're not responsible for my choices. Or my parents choices. Any of it. You saved my sister's life that night after I came terrifyingly close to killing her. Nothing else, nothing else matters. And … I don't think I ever thanked you for that."

"You never had any need to thank me for that" he tried to wave her off but she shook her own head sharply.

"And you never had any need to ask for my forgiveness - because there was nothing to forgive" she insisted taking a deep … and then, she just … let it go. Willing all the mixed emotions and memories of that night so long ago to simply … go. Leaving the past in the past in favor of moving forward and facing the monumental mess she had made of things in the now . "But now I have to try and figure out what I'm going to do … and I don't even have a clue where to start" she admitted helplessly. "I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions. And if I choose being the fifth spirit over Anna I'm betraying her. Or if I choose the Enchanted Forest over Arendelle I'm betraying my oaths, myself and my family. But if I'm the Fifth Spirit I don't see how I even have..."

Her increasingly emotional venting cut off as Pabbie … chuckled. Chuckled then actually laughed briefly, shaking his head with a smile and making her blink in confusion at him before he waved her unasked question away as he composed himself to regard her in some amusement.

"Oh my dear young Elsa. I believe that humans have a saying about 'putting the cart before the reindeer?'" he asked and Elsa on instinct opened her mouth to correct him … then closed it and nodded deciding that the meaning was the same even if it was clear Kristoff had some … interesting takes on old colloquialisms, the side of her lip twitching and threatening to pull her into a smile.

"Yes. It means, more or less, to do things in the wrong order" she confirmed hesitantly.

"Just so" Pabbie nodded brisky, before to her surprise, reaching up to gently take her hands and hold them. It felt strangely comforting and she gripped his tiny little rough hands back, finding them surprisingly warm. "But why would you wish or be forced to choose between yourself and yourself?"

"I … what?" she frowned at him, utterly lost at that - and he in turn tilted his head at her.

"How could you ever be confused choosing between yourself and yourself?" he repeated, tugging her hands up and flipping them over. "Why would you ever need or want to choose between your left hand and right hand?"

"Grand Pabbie, I don't understand…" she said, feeling a little put out at the bizarre statement and earned a slightly ironic look in return from the Troll before he considered her … and then a sudden understanding appeared in his eyes.

"No. You don't do you? This explains much" he squeezed her hands again, his expression earnest. "Elsa, what is the role of the Fifth Spirit?"

"To bring balance to the spirits" she replied automatically.

"And what does that mean?" he pressed her … and she gave the only answer she could.

"I … don't know " she admitted, her head dropping down in shame. All this power and the majesty of this place and in the end, she still didn't know what she was doing here. "I had hoped that Ahtohallan was calling me today to try and start teaching me what it meant, but I'm still as lost as ever."

"Ahtohallan has been teaching you - in its own way" Pabbie corrected her. "The Fifth Spirit started on this path when it brought balance with the restoring of the great river, of correcting your grandfather's actions.

" I didn't restore anything" she corrected him sharply, letting go of his hands to squeeze her own as she fought for self control, glancing to the far side of the chamber and the hole in the wall there that led to…the place where she had failed. "It was Anna who made the decision, who took the risks and was willing to sacrifice to destroy the dam."

"Indeed it was. As I said, the Fifth Spirit restored the balance."

Elsa opened her mouth to reply again but closed it in confusion.

"But … I'm the Fifth Spirit" she pointed out hesitantly to the Troll who nodded.

"Yes, you are" he agreed ... and Elsa felt utterly lost and bewildered.

"Pabbie you're not making sense" she said in exasperation, feeling frustration working with exasperation under her skin and making her powers itch in a way they had not in a long time. "We're not both the Fifth Spirit!"

Pabbie simply stared at her, tilting his head in a kind of amusement as if she had just made some kind of joke-

"Show yourself" Elsa heard a voice call and she snapped her head around to the great door into this chamber … and saw herself. Or at least her similitude of snow and ice walking into the great chamber. Dressed exactly as she had been the first time she walked in. Saying exactly what she had that time. "We're no longer trembling!"

She tilted her head as she forced herself back to her feet, staring in confusion at 'her'.

We're? I didn't say-

Then her eyes went wide as 'she' turned to look behind her and gesture in excitement … and Anna -or again at least another similitude of her sister- followed her inside.

This … this wasn't what happened!

" Here we are!" ' Anna' called out in delight and awe. "We've come so far …"

"Are you the one we've been waiting for?' Elsa asked.

'All of our lives!' her sister echoed as the two figures joined hands. Walking towards her and Pabbie - then vanishing into the mist.

And finally, finally after all this time, the confusion spirling around her stopped and everything fell into place with almost physical impact that made her take a step back. Like the entire planet had just shifted a meter to the left. Like a giant key slipping into the lock … she understood.

She understood what Ahtohallan had been calling her here to understand.

She understood why Ahtohallan had been speaking to her in her sister's voice. Anna begging her not to shut her out, not to deny her. Understood why Ahtohallan had been showing her sisters suffering back in Arendelle.

Not to taunt her or to make her suffer or rub her failures in her face … but because it was also her suffering.

Because they were the Fifth Spirit!

A new understanding and a clarity of things hit her and resonated through her very being and in a sudden awed understanding, she realized she had heard Ahtohallan explaining before … and simply not understood.

"A bridge has two sides … and mother has two daughters … " she repeated the words. But this time, she listened as she whispered the words.

The thought had come to her while holding her sister after they had saved Arendelle and Northuldra. A whisper in her mind while they had been together, holding each other, for the first time. A thought she, in her hubris, had taken as her own. Twisting it to say what she wanted it to be rather than hearing what it meant. Because she was determined to repeat her mistake of running away from everything and everyone.

"A bridge has two sides ... but it's still one structure" she added the words she had been missing. It wasn't about splitting 'spirit' and 'human' from each other … it was about how they came together as one!

How had she even expected to be part of a bridge between humanity and the spirits if she was going to lock herself away in the forest?!

Turning to face Pabbie again. Half expecting to see him looking at her with an expression that said 'Oh look, she finally gets it!', instead, all that was on his rocky face was a gentle, beaming, pride directed squarely at her .

"Indeed so. You are human Elsa - and Spirit. So too is your sister. This duality has power. A power the two of you have only begun to touch the surface of even if Annas is more subtle than yours, it is no less powerful - even the most powerful sorcerers and magicians of ancient times rarely reversed death itself as casually as your sister seems to! I am sure it will take you years to even begin to truly understand - but you have come further than you might think. You have always been the Fifth Spirit - as has she. Indeed, consider the greatest achievements in your life my dear. Have they not been with your sister at your side?"

"Of course they have" she agreed without the slightest hesitation. "And my greatest failures … have always been when I pushed her away."

"Indeed. So then the only thing you need to decide, is, what is your path now?"

Elsa opened her mouth to answer … then closed it and forced herself to stop and think for once rather than just react and compound her errors. Taking the time to think it through from all directions, refusing to be rushed as she paced, Pabbie seemingly content with the patience of a stone to let her work her all-too human way through things. Picturing her sister's face firmly in her mind. But not just her. Kristoff too, that wonderful, wonderful man. And Olaf of course. And Yelena. And Honeymaren and Ryder and everyone in Arendelle too.

Calmly.

Drawing on the peace of this place to centre herself and make her decisions not for herself, but for everyone.

"I … I can't go back. Not to take the Throne" she decided finally, turning to face Pabbie with a solemn look. "I believe - no. I know in my very soul Pabbie, that Anna will be a Queen far greater than I could ever be - even if she needs help to find her feet. And our people deserve certainty - it would destroy her forever as the leader she could be if I charged back in and took it back off her now" she considered, working through it as she paced and stopped herself wringing her hands with a scowl. It was a bad habit from when she wore gloves and got anxious, feeling her power threatening to break loose and finding the touch reassuring.

But now it was just irritating.

"Forcing Anna to take the Throne, not giving her any choice was a grave, selfish act. A dishonor to my family and my people and an insult to my sister … but taking it back now would only compound it all. And I think I still have a place in the Forest. But'' she added sharply, taking a deep breath and focusing intently. "I am not, I will not stand aside when she needs me. All the rest of this" she waved around the great room almost indifferently, "the Fifth Spirit; all of it … doesn't matter. My sister needs me - my family needs me. My Kingdom needs me - because as much as Mother has two daughters, so too did my father!" she didn't quite throw into the air, as if daring Ahtohallan itself to object somehow as she turned her gaze and focus away from the Troll behind her to swing around the vast room, projecting her voice - no, projecting her very spirit at this place through the connection she still barely understood to make herself clear. Asserting her wishes, her desires for once. Taking a deep breath and finding a new conviction that she wrapped around her like a cloak.

Amazing how just thinking about her sister, on how she could help her sister, focused her like this!

"So. I'm going back to Arendelle - now . And I'm going to help my sister, now . For as long as she needs me, as much as she needs me, whenever she needs me. I'll always be there for her and I need to make sure she understands that. And then? When she decides she is ready , I am going to bring her here because this place is her legacy and birthright, just as much as it is mine " she added, feeling a new confidence and fire lighting inside her and burning away all the emotional wreckage she had covered herself in today as the words poured out of her faster and faster before turning to glance down at the symbols in the floor. So beautiful, yet so … cryptic.

"And … and I still don't understand what it means to be the Fifth Spirit. But before I can even begin to try and 'bring balance to the elements', whatever that means, I have to bring balance to us. So … that's what I'm going to do!"

Her voice echoed for a moment and then it faded. So too did the mist … and then the glow of the vast cavern walls around her. Leaving only the symbols in the floor, glowing and pulsing with their subdued, yet fathomless power. But even more than that, the gentle 'invitation' she had been feeling from Ahtohallan itself seemed to fade and was replaced by …

If she could put it into words, it would be to say that if anything, Ahtohallan was almost cheering her on and telling her to go forth and find her sister. Her other half. Herself. And help them.

Almost smugly in fact, as if unlike Pabbie, Ahtohallan wasn't above a 'Oh look, she finally gets it!' thought.

"Pabbie" she said, turning to face the ancient Troll, swallowing as she stepped up to him and knelt down to face him directly. " Thank you" she said and found herself struggling to find the words. "Just … thank you" and on an impulse that surprised her, she reached out and hugged him.

The Troll chuckled and hugged her back, gently patting her on the back.

"No need to thank me, Your Highness" he laughed lightly as she let go and edged back, causing her to tilt her head at that title. She had abdicated her throne of course, but that … didn't make her any less of a Princess of Arendelle, legally speaking.

And she doubted Pabbie had chosen his worlds carelessly as they suddenly triggered ideas and plans in her Royally trained mind about how she could go about this - but she didn't have time to dwell on it as the Troll waved his hand and then started to glow. Elsa backed off a little in surprise, not because she felt there was any threat here … but because the enemy was maddeningly familiar. It felt exactly like that energy she felt around…

"The Earth Giants!" she gasped. "You … they …"

The Troll laughed lightly.

"Yes indeed" he chortled. "Our cousins are rather less talkative, if perhaps far more impressive" the ancient Troll noted. "But it will be good to visit them soon. It has been far too long, but that path is open once again, thanks to you and your sister. And I'm sure we will see each other soon Elsa … but until then I take my leave of you. WIth just one final word of advice, if I may so presume?"

"Of course?" she immediately agreed, without hesitation.

"As I said to your sister. Sometimes, when we are lost with problems so large they seem to engulf everything … all you can sometimes do, is do the next right thing" he smiled and with a final friendly wave he flashed … and when she blinked he was gone.

And she was alone.

No. Never alone my darling, a voice called from ... somewhere.

"Mother?" she breathed in question … but the voice said nothing more.

But then, she - or it - didn't need to. Her path was clear.

Without a backwards glance, she strode out of the grand chamber. The last time she had left Ahtohallan, it had been falling through the deep well, frozen and rescued by the Nokk waiting under it as her sister lifted the curse that had ended her life and saved her - yet again. She had no intention of leaving that way but she found herself striding faster as she passed through the great columns that lined the path. Then breaking into something more like a jog as she raced back through the tunnels and then up the bridge she had created to link her great columns until she finally burst at a dead run out into the open air and breathed the fresh, salty spray.

It was much later in the day then she had thought as she blinked and squinted against the light. Clearly she had spent more time than she realized wallowing in memories. The sun was already on-or-below the horizon, painting the skies reds and pinks and oranges of all shades that immediately made her think of her sister's hair as she raced down to the shore, closed her eyes and sent her thoughts out-

WIth an eruption of water and foam, the Nokk surfaced at her call as she reached the shore, rearing and pawing the air in enthusiasm. She smiled as she came to a halt and offered it a bow of her head of respect before swinging up onto its back with ease as it lowered its own head to help her get on. And while she had enjoyed racing across the water with it greatly, right now, she needed to move and almost instinctively, it seemed to know that speed was what she wanted. And almost before she could gasp and hold her breath, it leaped and dove into the water itself-

-and broke the surface of the water moments later, except it broke it in the Fjord, only a few kilometers downstream from Arendelle itself. With a wave of her hands the water soaking her crystalized and flaked off to scatter across the river linking her Mother's home to her Father's home as she saw the Castle itself come into view in the darkening twilight sky, lit up in celebration of her sisters coronation and even from here should could hear the noise of music and celebration.

At the start of the day she had been determined to stay away. To let her sister take the mantle of the crown upon her without people looking to her nearby, risking undermining her sister's authority.

Now? Now she urged Nokk onwards with all speed towards her old - no, towards one of her homes, letting a wry smile pass onto her face.

She had never crashed a party before in her rather curtailed social life as Queen.

She admitted some degree of excitement at the idea now.

So. Suffice to say while I enjoyed Frozen II, I felt there were major narrative and character issues threaded through it from the beginning. I think Jennifer Lee, the lead writer, even out and out said that when they started this, they didn't see Elsa as 'fitting into a box'. That she was supposed to be 'Free' and they saw Anna ascending to the Throne as a 'natural' thing.

And if they had put the effort into that character wise, it might have even worked ... despite the fact that it would seem to completely undercut the ending of Frozen I and the two Frozen specials that showed not only had Elsa learned to accept all the aspects of herself and that everyone accepted her for who she was, but also that she was genuinely happy and content with who she was and where she was. It isn't to say that things don't change and people don't change, but it was incredibly jarring the way the second film seemed to walk in the footsteps of the first and have Elsa backslide so horribly at every crisis point. It also turned Kristoff into a 1D joke that existed only to keep failing miserably to propose to Anna and then literally was written out of half the film because the writers were utterly clueless what to DO with him and give him any agency. It did some work to show Anna stepping up to the plate, but nowhere near enough and then at the end, has in the last six or seven minutes, an incredibly poorly rushed ending to say 'And then suddenly Elsa decided that her responsibilities and people meant nothing to HER and she could neatly sidestep by dumping it all on her sister before running off to the Enchanted Forest for ... reasons'.

I mean, I found the 'A Bridge has two sides - and Mother has two Daughters' line *incredibly* arrogant from Elsa in the way that she seemingly defines she and her sister as equals ... then proceeds to frame it in a way that REALLY makes it clear that Elsa really thinks that SHE is the Fifth spirit and that 'Human Anna's' entire existence (seemingly framing and explicitly rejecting Elsa has human oddly enough) seems to revolve around neatly providing a means for her to walk out on everything and apparently run away from the only home and life she has ever known for ... reasons. That are still undefined. Making me wonder if Ahtohallan did something weird to her brain.
Because the logical 'bridge' argument is that ELSA is of course both Human AND Spirit and thus she is the totality of the bridge, making Anna superfluous to the entire argument. Which is clearly the truth here because the writers just wanted a way to force Elsa to walk away from Arendelle and put Anna into a Queen dress to sell more accessories or something. And you know, Disney IS a product company and I don't have a problem with them being one! Just that they could have gotten to the same ending a much better way.

And we're not even getting started on the bigger questions, like what Anna would feel about her sister saying she was going to leave her (I mean its not like Anna could POSSIBLY have any abandonment issues or anything that may have just been incredibly triggered by Olaf and Elsa dying on her or anything), Elsa constantly breaking her word throughout the movie over and over and OVER and treating Anna like an inconvenience or like she was still a little child (like she treated her responsibilities, great message there Disney!) unable to handle issues (and yet you made her Queen, good one Elsa!)

It's really a shame because I think that there WAS scope to still tell the same story but have it worked just a little differently to avoid those issues, not really requiring that much work.

But rather than rewrite canon (and I had a lot of ideas on how to rework Frozen II while keeping the story as close as possible, but I'm sure a lot of other people did too) I decided instead to take my issues and run with them. To pick up where Frozen II ended, take all the problems I had with the story, flesh them out and build a story around the consequences of those issues and solving them.

Think of this as something of ... I suppose an extended coda? To brush off the gloss of the far too artificial 'and they lived happily ever after', confront the actual issues and resolve them, THEN we have the happy ending.

Thanks for your time and thanks for reading!