Naruto doesn't have much experience dealing with ANBU.

He knows that ANBU would often watch his house when he was little and keep an eye on the Kyuubi. He remembers Haku impersonating a Kirigakure ANBU when he rescued Zabuza. Jiraiya mentioned precisely once that Kakashi may have been in ANBU at some point in his life. And that was the sum total of his experience in dealing with the shadow organization.

Really, Naruto has never thought he would ever want to get closer. They operate strictly in the shadows, even more than other shinobi. The tasks that Naruto had heard they were involved in… it made him shudder, sometimes. Disposal of bodies. Looting of bodies. Dissection of bodies.

Of all the things to get hung up on about the workings of ANBU, body snatching seems rather ridiculous, but Naruto couldn't get over it. It just seemed so… petty, for someone so supposedly amazing as the best of the shinobi.

This particular ANBU had a stunning repertoire of surprisingly specific insults regarding snakes and snake-like men. Naruto notes at least three that he would love to use as he punched Orochimaru in the face, so he thinks he can forgive him for any past body snatching he might have been involved in.

He takes a step out of the treeline to help the ANBU—Kirigakure, judging by the symbol etched on the mask's forehead—but Yamato's extended arm stops him before he can make his presence known. "Captain?" The normally blank-faced captain' brow is furrowed deeply, his attention locked on the battling ANBU with a look that is equal parts suspicion and curiosity.

"Let's wait to see what happens," Yamato offers as explanation. Naruto looks back at the ANBU, currently slicing the head of a four foot long snake with a wicked sword, and concludes reluctantly that the ANBU seems to have the fight enough in hand for them to wait.

The ANBU seems more annoyed than threatened by the dozen or so snakes surrounding him, dodging the striking attacks with graceful dexterity and decapitating each one in flourishing ease. He (judging by the voice, the ANBU is male, but really, who can ever tell completely) doesn't bother with ninjutsu, simply sticking to a kenjutsu style completely unfamiliar to Naruto. Konoha shinobi that used weapons generally used short tantos or other easily hidden weapons.

Two swords, as far as Naruto knows, isn't really the norm for someone meant to be sneaking through the shadows on a regular basis. The ANBU is using two swords, a longer one that flashed elegantly on the attack and a shorter one the ANBU keeps closer to himself in defense. Each movement is completely fluid, completely at home with one another, and Naruto is reminded of a dance with no partner.

It is…

"Amazing."

And, oh shit, he just said that out loud.

It draws the judgemental looks of his entire team, including that creepy bastard Sai, and Naruto feels heat creep up his neck.

"Huh," Sakura laughs, her lip curling into that special brand of Naruto blackmail she loves to use. "Naruto has a sword kink. Who knew?"

Yamato, the traitor, snorts. Naruto directs the most hurt and betrayed look he can muster at the team captain before leveling a glare at Sai that says very clearly Not a word you creepy bastard. The pale shinobi doesn't take the hint, and deadpans at Naruto.

"Compensating for something, dickless?"

Naruto lunges at Sai, very much ready to strangle him to death with his own headband. A hand snags Naruto's collar and pulls him back. "Naruto, not now." Yamato, the bastard, doesn't even both trying to mask his amusement.

Naruto shrugs Yamato's hand off of his shoulder and scowls at Sai. The pale bastard is lucky they have more pressing matters to deal with.

Like the ANBU Naruto completely isn't attracted to.

The ANBU who has finished his fight and is currently prowling the clearing and methodically burning every snake head to crispy ash with great prejudice.

And really, that adds another fifty points onto Naruto's opinion of the man.

He makes a decision right there, and strolls out of the tree line.

"Naruto, get back here," Yamato hisses, at the same time Sakura says at a much more regular volume, "Naruto, you idiot, he's an unknown!"

"Relax, I just want to talk. And I'd say those insults about that snake bastard puts him pretty far on my good side," Naruto tosses over his shoulder. Sakura cuffs him over the head at the snark, but she stays right by Naruto's side as they approach.

The ANBU's head whips up, his sword rising between them defensively, and then freezes. There's a tense breath, and then— "Holy shit."

Admittedly, not quite the reaction Naruto was expecting.

Two years ago, Orochimaru developed an interest in a Konoha genin with a Sharingan, a Tragic Past™, and a power complex the size of a mountain. Two years ago, the genin left the village with Orochimaru's lackeys with the intent to gain enough power to kill his older brother. Sasuke and Naruto then beat the shit out of each other, before Sasuke stumbled away from the aftermath, leaving his best friend with a fist-sized hole in his chest.

The irony?

He never even made it to the snake's hideout.

He was waylaid by a one-eyed man wearing a bright orange mask and a truly bewildering split personality.

Flash forward two years, he is faced by his old teammates without an ounce of recognition in either of their eyes, and all he can do is stare because this was not part of the plan when he split off from Obito two months ago.

Naruto is tall now, mature in ways that he wasn't back then. Still attached to the ridiculous orange though, it seems. Sakura, too, has matured into someone beautiful, but he isn't fooled enough by her looks to be distracted from the pure strength and danger lurking beneath her skin.

Holy shit.

Naruto's eyebrows shoot up, and Sasuke realizes that he said that out loud, and he really needs to go, now, before he says something else stupid, because his brain is definitely not working the way it's supposed to.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto says, taking a step forward.

That's Sasuke's cue to bolt. His limbs are still stiff, still numb, though, so he only manages a single step back.

Naruto freezes, lifting his hands in peace again, and doesn't the idiot understand that shinobi are dangerous even without a weapon in their hands, and that a show like that means nothing?

"We aren't here to fight."

No, apparently they're just here to give him a stroke.

"Why the fuck are you here?"

Shit, he said that out loud too. Mouth, meet foot.

One of the unfamiliar shinobi, who Sasuke had peripherally noted approaching from behind Team 7 but not actually registered (stupid, could get him killed), speaks up, his voice as deadpan as his metal-plated face. "It seems that question is better suited for you, Kiri ANBU." He tilts his head slightly, and fuck but that is creepy. "You're a long way from home."

Technically, he's closer than he's been months, but then again, Konoha never quite felt like a home to him.

It registers, then, that Sasuke is in fact wearing a Kirigakure mask, and that the assumed presence of a Kiri ANBU so far into the Land of Fire's borders could start an international crisis (Sasuke may have little love for some of the people in Konoha, but he's learned enough to know that a war was not the solution, and, if nothing else, that it would only make the Akatsuki's job ten times easier).

"Orochimaru," he says. Finally, something comes out of his mouth that isn't digging his own grave. Nice and vague, easy to make assumptions with.

In contrast to the beaming smile Naruto sends Sasuke's way, the unfamiliar man's frown only deepens. "Orochimaru is Konoha business."

Sasuke can't help but laugh at that. "Orochimaru has made enough enemies that he's everyone's business."

The man's lips twitch upwards before going stone cold again.

"We're here for Orochimaru, too," Naruto says, sliding past the unknown man with a grin still lighting his features. "So I guess we're on the same side, huh." The extended hand doesn't really register for Sasuke until several moments pass, and Naruto and Sakura are exchanging bemused glances as he stares down at it like a strange creature.

He has spent way too long in a forest surrounded by nothing but insane missing-nin, birds, and snakes that want to kill him.

Feeling sheepish, but refusing to show it, Sasuke sheathes the katana and wakizashi (promising fervently in his head that he will be sure to clean them thoroughly later), takes Naruto's hand in his own gloved one, gives it a brief shake and then takes a quick step back.

"My name's Haruno Sakura. It's nice to meet you, ANBU-san," Sakura chirps, a dangerous smile that was neither warm nor completely malicious splitting her features as she also steps forward to shake his hand.

She was trained by Tsunade, Sasuke remembers after taking her hand. She squeezes it just to the point of pain, a clear warning of I will grind your bones to dust and stuff it down your throat if you betray us, and then steps away neatly, still smiling like an innocent princess. He resists the urge to shake out his hand afterward, and can't help but be impressed by the intimidation tactic. She's grown up.

"I'm Yamato," the man says, merely inclining his head while refusing to take his eyes off of Sasuke. Sasuke decides that doesn't dislike the man, even if he was creepy as hell.

Creepy doesn't even begin to describe the fourth member, who also steps forward for a handshake. He is pale, approximately Sasuke's age, wearing the fakest smile Sasuke had ever seen, and without a doubt one of Danzo's puppets. "My name is Sai." Sasuke's eyes narrow as he scans the boy, much less willing to come within three feet of him than he was Naruto or Sakura, but he can find nothing immediately threatening about him, and Naruto and Sakura are giving each other looks again. With reluctance, Sasuke takes the boy's hand, shakes it as briefly as possible, and steps back again.

Creepy-boy-probably-not-actually-named-Sai doesn't seem all too offended about the plague treatment. Instead, he just tilts his head, the creepy smile still on his face, and says, "Are you going to offer us your name, ANBU-san?"

Sasuke blinks, and his mind grinds to a stop. It seems like common sense to have come up with a fake name before all of this, but Sasuke's brain was still running in circles. Once again, he blurts out the first thought that comes to his head.

"Obito."

Fuck.

"I've been tracking Orochimaru for several months now," Obito tells them, rolling a tattered map out within the light of the fire.

That, at least, Yamato doesn't doubt. He glances over the dirt and blood practically covering the ANBU from head to toe and can't help but wonder if he had had a shower in any of that time.

Showering wasn't a priority on long-term missions like these.

Still, Yamato knew at least a few Suiton techniques that could work in a pinch.

Then again, he internally sighs, Obito wouldn't take kindly to that, and Yamato would hate to lose this new wealth of information that Naruto has uncovered.

Obito's map is extensively detailed, with personal notes of scrawl over entire sections of Fire Country. Yamato cranes his head to read one, and finds it written in code. Unsurprising, but still disappointing.

On the upside, the circles around certain areas are rather obvious in nature.

"He has several bases, obviously, spread throughout the entire continent, not just Fire Country. But he usually lingers here, especially recently."

That strikes a cord. "Recently? Why?" Yamato probes.

Wry amusement colors Obito's tone when he replies. "Well, Suna's still pissed at him for the Kazekage incident two years back. Ame and Kiri are dangerous for other reasons."

It's concerning that Obito groups those two together. A small, wartorn village like Ame and his own bloody village of Kiri. Was it possible there was an alliance between the two, or some other collusion? Was it a slip of the tongue on Obito's part, or an intentional misdirection?

"Also, he knows Fire Country the best. If he's being hunted, then he most likely wants to do it on his own turf."

That rings oddly. "Being hunted," Yamato repeats.

Obito doesn't even bother to look up when he answers. "Considering I've been on his tail for over four months, yeah, being hunted is a pretty accurate description."

The flippancy would have fooled anyone less experienced. The kid was a good liar, which could be expected from an ANBU. But Yamato had spent years in Root, and even more in ANBU. He was a paranoid bastard at heart, and despite the brushoff, he can tell.

Orochimaru was someone else's target as well. Someone… bigger than a faceless ANBU, possibly.

Yamato debates interrogating him for more information, but brushes the idea aside quickly. He's too good of a source of information to scare away.

Obito looks up at Yamato searchingly, and he realizes that he probably didn't hide his suspicion as well as he thought he did. Yamato holds the stare without blinking.

Finally, the ANBU looks away. Instead, he directs his attention toward Naruto. "I plan to kill Orochimaru and fry his remains. That doesn't mess with your mission, I hope." Well, that was frighteningly deadpan, though not all that surprising considering the shinobi's origins.

Naruto, in fact, seems to like the idea a lot, if the toothy grin is anything to go by.

"We're actually looking for someone he took. You have our full support to slice him to pieces."

Well, Tsunade won't be happy about that certain proclamation, but Yamato isn't necessarily going to correct him at the moment.

Obito shifted. "Do I get to know the name of this 'someone' or is that 'Konoha business'?" If that wasn't mocking, Yamato would do laps with Gai around the village.

For the first time, Naruto hesitates. Yamaton can't necessarily blame him either. The rumors drifting around Sasuke's name for the past year… haven't necessarily been the most encouraging. He's more 'lackey' than 'kidnapped victim'. Still, even Yamato had to admit that it would be rather difficult for Obito to give them any useful information without a name.

"Uchiha Sasuke," Yamato finally answers.

He can't see the ANBU's expression, but he doesn't exactly look happy about the reply.

"That should make your mission easy then."

That's not ominous at all.

"Uchiha Sasuke isn't with Orochimaru."

"Huh?" Naruto voices that question quite eloquently, in Yamato's opinion.

Obito's shoulders are incredibly tense, like he knows that his information won't be taken well.

"Isn't with him as in he's staying in a different base? Is he a prisoner?" Sakura clarifies, leaning forward with a brightness in her eyes that could only be hope.

"No. What I mean is, there have been no signs of Uchiha Sasuke in any of Orochimaru's bases."

"We have reports of an Uchiha being observed with Orochimaru."

"And I don't know who the fuck he is, but he's definitely not Uchiha Sasuke."

"It has to be Sasuke." Naruto argues. "There's no one else it could possibly be."

The Uchiha massacre wasn't exactly ever kept under wraps. It should be common knowledge that there was only one survivor.

(Two survivors, Yamato reminds himself, even though it's still nearly impossible to connect the loyal ANBU that he had worked with for years with the bloody madman that slaughtered his whole clan. Sometimes it was just easier to pretend Itachi had died with the rest of them.)

Obito shakes his head though. "I'm telling you, if Uchiha Sasuke is your age, then Orochimaru's lackey can't be him. He's several years older."

Yamato's breath catches in his throat. It can't be Itachi. The kid might have gone insane and joined an S-class missing-nin organization, but even he would know to stay far from someone like Orochimaru. Right?

Naruto and Sakura are exchanging stubborn looks. They don't seem to think Itachi could be the Uchiha following the snake like a lost puppy either.

Naruto shakes his head stubbornly, scowling fiercely at Obito. "It's Sasuke."

Obito seems to recognize the argument as the lost cause it is. His shoulders slump.

"You're really desperate to find the Uchiha."

"Of course." Sakura says. "He's our friend."

Yamato expects the ANBU to scoff. Even most Konoha shinobi don't understand Naruto and Sakura's absolute dedication to their lost teammate. A Kiri ANBU would never see it as anything but naivety.

But Obito does nothing of the sort. He just stares at the two of them, and Yamato really wishes that the mask wasn't obscuring his expression, because he truly can't read the ANBU's odd body language.

Finally, he looks away, back down at the map.

"If you're looking for the Uchiha Orochimaru has under his thumb, then that means you're looking for Orochimaru himself. Uchiha rarely leaves the snake's shadow, except for when he's blowing up an enemy encampment."

Naruto's scowl dissolves instantly, and even Sakura manages a hopeful smile when Obito looks back up at them.

"I still think you're wasting your time, but I honestly wouldn't mind someone taking on the Uchiha while I go for Orochimaru. He's strong enough that I don't think I would be able to take on the both of them at the same time."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Naruto agrees, his eyes alight with something more than fire. Sakura has the same look burning in her own gaze, and Yamato can't help but think that this is more hope he had seen in the two of them since their meeting.

Obito points to a certain area, not too far from where they are. "This is the most logical place for him to be. I've been trying to herd him this direction for weeks."

Ah. Towards the ocean, so he could cut off his retreat. Smart.

This Kiri shinobi was dangerous. And there was something off about him, something distinctly not ANBU that made the hair on Yamato's neck stand on end. But, for now at least, he wasn't an enemy, even if he couldn't necessarily be treated as an ally. Whatever web of lies he was spinning, Yamato needed to untangle it before it became a danger to his team.

Finding Orochimaru is surprisingly easy. Obito has hounded the man into a corner, doing most of the legwork for them (not that Naruto would ever admit that). It's actually getting to him that they seem to be having problems with.

Their progress is a bit hampered by the five-headed snake monster Orochimaru threw in their general direction before disappearing into his lab.

On the upside, at least they know they're in the right place.

"Creepy fucking ass snake lunatic doesn't have a single fucking idea where I'm going to shove his abomination snake experiments once I get my hands on him!" Impressively, Obito's snarled tangent doesn't even pause when one of the giant snakeheads nearly takes his head off. He dodges neatly to the side, jams one of his blades in between the massive scales shielding its head, and nearly gets thrown into the nearest tree when the blade sticks in the writhing creature's flesh.

"Naruto!"

A flash of pink, and Sakura's fist is slamming into a head coming at Naruto from the back. The purple scales ripple with the impact, and the head pulls back with an anguished screech.

Naruto grins at her sheepishly, rubbing his head. "Ah, thanks, Sakura."

In his peripheral, a giant fireball sears the mohawked snake that Obito is fighting, and it adds its higher pitched scream to the sounds of fury coming from the many headed creature before them.

Obito lands beside Naruto, only one sword in hand, and growls again. "This is so wrong on so many levels."

Naruto has to agree. He can see the stitch marks tying the five snakes eternally together to one gigantic body, and it makes him sick.

"Don't suppose you've met before?" Sakura says, glaring at the snake creature with a rather impressive death glare.

"Yeah, maybe with a few tips on how to beat it?" Naruto chimes in, not feeling very hopeful about the matter.

Obito splutters. "Do I look like I know how to beat that thing?"

Naruto casts a glance over the ANBU, his chest armor splattered with something green and corrosive, and then finds the lost sword still embedded in Mohawk's thrashing neck.

"Not really."

Obito looks at Naruto, and he can feel the glare through the dark eyes of the mask. Naruto grins innocently while Sakura snorts in the background.

The standoff is broken by Yamato abandoning his fight with the bright orange snake on the right side and joining them. "Okay, we need a plan."

Obito turns his attention back to the snake creature before them. "Fire didn't do much."

"And my punch did almost nothing," Sakura adds, shaking her hand out.

Naruto has seen her punch through solid rock without flinching. Those scales must be pretty hardcore to stand up to it with the minimal damage it has.

"So that means we go for the only part of the snakes without scales," Obito says, flipping his sword in his hand so that it is angled behind him.

Naruto eyes the narrow slits in their faces that could maybe be called eyes if you had an imagination and suspension of disbelief. How did they see out of those things?

"Pretty narrow area," Naruto grunts.

"Then get better aim."

Oh, yeah, like that solves any of their problems, Naruto wants to say, but Obito is already launching himself at the snakehead on the far right that's a gentle lavender color that totally doesn't fit the mood on the howling thing at all.

Of course he chose the freakiest looking snake to target first. Of course he did.

But Sakura is cracking her knuckles, eyebrow twitching and a dangerous scowl on her face as she mutters, "Oh you'll see just how good my aim is when I smash your face with it," and honestly the terrifying snake is less scary than her, so Naruto takes off on Obito's heels.

In the course of twenty seconds, Naruto nearly loses his head to a wave of acid vomit, Obito almost gets bisected by a giant fang, and they are two seconds from getting crushed under the foul smelling belly of Mohawk snake, which Naruto feels is a new record for most things gone wrong in the shortest time period, ever.

"Can we have a better plan than dying horribly?" Naruto complains, retreating to a safe distance with Obito as the snake screeches acid vomit at them again.

On the upside, Yamato, Sai, and Sakura are dealing with the head on the far side, and really not having any more luck than they are.

Obito is quiet, for the first time not spouting profanities or sarcastic comebacks, and Naruto looks the guy over for any sign of serious injury. He has blood all over his front, but considering that it's an iridescent green color, Naruto is pretty sure that he doesn't really need to worry about that. The rest of his clothing hides any other potential injury, but Obito doesn't necessarily look injured besides his newfound silence.

The mask obscures his expression, but still, there is something vaguely familiar about the stance, the narrowed eyes that don't leave their target for a moment-

Shikamaru. This guy looks like Shikamaru systematically putting together a plan.

"Alright." Obito shifts, pulling out of the silent daze, and Naruto feels anticipation shoot through him like lightning. "You ready to raise hell?"

"You better believe it." Naruto grins, forming a familiar sign.

He can't see it, but somehow he is sure Obito is smirking. "Then I'm gonna go get my sword back."

It ends with Naruto coated from head to toe in disgusting eye juice, a Rasengan becoming a very violent fan that sends the eye fluid and eventual brain matter squirting everything in the vicinity, including every inch of Naruto. He wipes the Mohawk snake smoothie from his eyes, not daring to open his mouth to express his disgust but hoping his expression manages to convey the sheer ew of the matter.

Obito has a similar sentiment, not wearing a second skin of snake juice but still splattered liberally— his left leg a thick sheen of iridescent green from when he slammed one of his swords and the entirety of his foot and leg as deep into the lavender snake's brain as it would go.

He's currently hopping on one foot and shaking his leg in an attempt to get the goo off without touching it, and Naruto has to remind himself not to laugh.

Sakura lands beside Naruto, an amused grin twisting her lips. She's minimally spotted in her own snake juice, and Naruto gives her a giant scowl at the smug look on her face.

"Snake barbecue, anyone?" She jokes, eyeing the middle snake head that is more char than scales at that point. The sustained blast to the face that Obito had managed was honestly terrifying. Naruto does not envy that poor creature.

Sakura, maybe feeling bad for Naruto's silent predicament or (more likely) not wanting to deal with the smell, pulls one of the incognito cloaks out of her backpack and throws it at him to use as an improvised towel.

Obito stops hopping, glaring at both Naruto and the cloak as if they personally betrayed him before directing his glare down at the coagulating goo on his uniform. He looks like he would like to burn the entire uniform, and Naruto can't help but feel a bit bad because he's well aware that this is Obito's only remaining set of clothes.

Apparently snake hunting is hazardous to clothing. Who knew?