AN: Back for more stupidity. How do Klavier and Apollo cope shopping?

If I had to choose anyone to be with in a lockdown, it's definitely Apollo. Everything would be clean as hell and he can cook! Not sure who else I'd want to shack up with. Maybe Klavier so he can annoy Apollo for entertainment. And then we could annoy him together.

JordanPhoenix: Thanks! Apollo's seriousness has its perks in a situation like that lol. If he and Trucy don't have high cholesterol by now I'd be surprised xD. Klavier bothering Apollo is probably one of my favorite things on this planet.

Apollo didn't want to admit it, but Klavier did have a nice car. Just like everything else the prosecutor owned of sizable significance it too was a midnight purple color. Honestly why would he not have a luxury sports car along with all the other fancy toys he had? Apollo had been over Klavier's place a couple of times and he was impressed. Well more like jealous. Okay, a combination of both.

That's just generally how he felt about Klavier, though.

"Can we listen to something that's not one of your songs for a change?" Apollo asked Klavier rolling his eyes in the passenger side. Yes, he knew Klavier made music, and he did like some of it, but good lord he didn't need to hear through the entirety of this 30 minute drive.

"Alright, Herr Forehead," the blond said with his usual charming smile, gripping the steering wheel. "What's your musical flavor? Classical?"

With relief, Apollo hit the off button and reached for the dial, turning to his favorite station Hardcore 87.9. "Psh, that's pretty stuffy. This, right here is more my style."

And lucky him, they were playing one of his favorite songs, Chop Suey. Whoever said metal had to have no melody or was just simply screaming was a fool.

Wake up

Grab a brush and put a little (makeup)
Grab a brush and put a little
Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup)
Hide the scars to fade away the
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable
You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to

Apollo head banged along in contentment, while Klavier just stared at him as they reached a red light, clearly taken aback. The defense attorney took no notice, however.

"Is this what inspired your Chords of Steel?" the prosecutor asked him.

Apollo shrugged. "Maybe." It could have- he hadn't really thought much about it. He loved the energy behind System of A Down songs and metal in general. They felt so powerful. When he did his Chord of Steels, it invited in a similar feeling he couldn't easily grasp by himself.

I don't think you trust
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die

"This is the last thing I'd thought you of all people would be into-"

"Shh," he waved a dismissive hand at the blond. "I need to hear this part."

Father, father, father, father
Father into your hands, I commend my spirit
Father into your hands
why have you forsaken me
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken, me oh
Trust in my self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In my self righteous suicide

I, cry, when angels deserve to die

When the song ended, Apollo basked in the glory. It was a bummer the band had to change the name of the song, but Chop Suey was still a pretty memorable title. The younger attorney didn't muse about for long, thanks to Klavier's presence.

"Herr Forehead...you should start a band."

"Ah-what?" the boy blinked. He was half expecting some kind of wry joke at his expense, but the purple clad prosecutor sounded absolutely serious. "Why would I?"

The blond casually switched lanes, making a right turn into an exit. "For all the yelling you do, I'm sure you could do songs like that one."

"Don't be ridiculous..." Apollo said, though he did contemplate the idea. It would be kind of cool, he wasn't gonna lie...

Klavier waved a hand, keeping the other firm on the wheel. "Whenever this blows over, I'll have you try my music studio out...though, I'll be outside the room to protect my ears."

The flush appeared on the younger man's cheeks yet again. Snidely he replied. "I'll try not to break the glass."

The prosecutor just chuckled as they turned onto the road, leading into the Super Walmart parking lot. After driving around for about 5 minutes, the pair found a parking space towards the left side of the huge lot in the middle of a sea of cars. It was a little bothersome to Apollo, but at least Klavier's car was too flamboyant to miss.

"Well, we can't sit here forever, jah?" Klavier asked Apollo as he stepped out of the driver's side, shutting the door behind him.

The lawyer gulped. They were here now...he couldn't stop it. Apollo had to deal with the dark reality of being around...people. Potentially sick people. That was twice as bad. But the faster this was over, the better.

With a load of hesitation, Apollo pushed the passenger's side door open, stepping into the packed lot. Sighing, he shut the door behind him and walked over to where Klavier was waiting for him. Together they moseyed down to the automatic sliding doors- Klavier entered, while Apollo grabbed a shopping cart.

Inside, the store could be described as a zoo. People were rushing around frantically storing whatever they could in their carts which were stuffed to the brim and the lines were backed up so far that they were going into aisles.

Dammit, Apollo thought. They should have left waaaaaay earlier. As he lamented quietly, Klavier had begun to attract a small group of fan girls.

"Oo, it's Klavier Gavin! It's really him!"

"Like omg he's so hot!"

The blond, being the largest ham possible, was soaking up the attention blissfully. He bent over, hands on his hips with a huge smile. "Jah, jah, hello frauleins"

Apollo rolled his eyes so hard, they should have fallen out of his sockets. He didn't have time for this. He needed to get the food and get the hell out of here! Scowling, he grabbed Klavier by the wrist.

"You're not six feet apart," he snapped pulling Klavier away back to their shopping cart.

The blue eyes had widened for a moment, but the rockstar's lips curled into a smirk. "What's that Herr Forehead? Aren't you being hypocritical?"

"What are you talking about now?"

"We're not six feet apart," he pointed out.

The lawyer was about to argue, but he was right. In fact, the pair was far closer... Apollo was still holding Klavier's wrist. He flushed and quickly let go, now standing a good distance away from him. "Well, thanks for reminding me. I've always preferred at least a good fifteen foot distance between us."

But Klavier being Klavier laughed, playing in his shiny locks. "There's no need to be jealous."

"Jealous of what? If you think I'm jealous of your pompous attitude-"

"Nein," he shook his head. "I meant my fans since they have no problem expressing kindness towards me."

The boy furrowed his brow. "What are you trying to say?"

"That Apollo is stubborn and won't openly admit we're friends."

The attorney shifted uncomfortably at those words. Klavier had always been friendly with him, even if he bothered him. Honestly, he felt confused about the prosecutor. The German was rich, handsome, famous and constantly referred to as a legal genius-Apollo had no idea as to why Klavier wanted to consider him a friend. He thought someone like that would get, well, more popular friends, right? He was aware he wasn't the nicest, but Klavier's ego could be knocked down a peg anyway. And it's not like the prosecutor couldn't deliver a decent barb either.

Generally, the attorney did his best to keep a fair distance from everyone, preferring to be professional most of the time...Or as professional as one could be being around magicians, hobos, rockstars, and all the other weird people he had encountered since starting this job. He...was just private.

"Let's just get shopping, alright?" he asked, pushing the shopping cart down the snack aisle. "We need to find food before these idiots buy everything. I don't have time for you flirting with weird women in Walmart."

Klavier sighed, following along. "I suppose so."

The two of them moved through the store, piling all sorts of food and other essentials into the cart. Apollo glanced at his long list- eggs, cheese, chicken, beef, pork, tomatoes, potatoes, spinach, bleach, detergent etc...

He had nearly everything and probably more. He even got those frozen pizzas and ramen Mr. Wright and Trucy had requested. Though, there was one thing he didn't get and was a bit worried about.

Without warning Apollo rushed down the aisle of paper towels and bath tissues.

Toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper...please be here, he thought frantically. His panic increased as he walked down, seeing a large empty spot on the shelves...it seemed the only things left were tissues, baby wipes and...

His wide brown eyes were drawn to the ONE and ONLY 24 pack of toilet paper left standing on the shelf. Just as he was grabbing it, a large hand snatched it away.

"Hey!" Apollo yelled, turning to see the jerkwad who had taken the 24k diamond toilet paper from him. He was going to yell some more but was stunned into silence seeing the grotesque pink jiggling figure before him. It was a strange man in a chef outfit, gyrating as though he were in some kind of club.

"Désolée, garçon but this bath tissue is mine!"

Klavier had just come down the aisle to catch up with Apollo. "What's the problem-" The rockstar too was stunned at the sight before him. Where Apollo's get up was comical, this man's was disturbing.

Apollo staring to come back to his senses, raised his fist. "I had it in my hand first, you...bowl of jelly!"

"Herr Forehead..." Klavier said lowering the boy's arm.

"You would seriously hurt une fille like moi?" the man asked, rose petals exploding all around him. But he stopped, eyeing Klavier with interest. "Oh, monsieur! Pourquoi are you with this bizarrely dressed boy? Un homme comme toi can do better..."

"Bizarrely dressed? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!"

Klavier, usually unflappable when it came to flirtations of either sex, broke out into a cold sweat. "Er...we just wanted the toilet paper. Nothing else."

"Oui oui! But tis mine. You cannot 'ave it! ...Unless I can 'ave your number monsieur," he said batting his eyelashes in an effeminate fashion.

Apollo wanted to barf. He was way uglier than the fans Klavier was approached by earlier. "...Well. I'm going to leave you to get the toilet paper, Klavier."

"Ack! W-what?! Herr Forehead, there is no way !"

But Apollo had already turned the cart in the opposite direction, trying to get as far away from that scene as possible. "I'm going to pick up a few more items, so I'll see you in line!"

At the end of the aisle Apollo could hear Klavier's anguished cries 'of keeping a social distance, with an additional 20 feet away' from that weirdo. Maybe looking boyish did have its perks. Taking a sigh of relief, he swiftly maneuvered around other people to grab a few more items he forgot in the frozen food aisle. Once he was finished, he backed up his cart unknowingly into another.

"Ah, sorry. Didn't see you there-"

"Apollo? Is that you?" a familiar voice asked.

He turned around. The lab coat, goggles, and usual look of malaise was unmistakable. "Ema?"

"...You look like a lame ass super villain dressed like that," she said squinting at him.

"But you always look like a mad scientist," he pointed out.

The woman smirked. "Fair enough. How's life?"

"Oh, great. You know, just trying to be prepared to not die. You?"

"Tell me about it," she said adjusting the goggles on her head. "I feel like if the virus doesn't get me, being trapped with my sister and her boyfriend will."

As the attorney was about to respond, his eyes were drawn to the TWO huge packs of toilet paper in Ema's cart. "Ema...why do you have two? Isn't that excessive?"

"You know how hard this has been to find lately?" she huffed. "I was worried I was going to have to start using my lab coats to wipe my own ass!"

"Can I please have one pack?"

"I'm sorry, Apollo, but I do actually need this. You haven't seen what monstrosities my sister's boyfriend reeks on the plumbing at my place...it's devastating..."

"But we don't have any! Some weird guy here stole the last pack out of my hand," he pleaded.

"It's a firm no."

The attorney sighed. Could fate really be this cruel? If they couldn't find toilet paper here, they'd have to keep looking at other stores. And other stores meant more germs...No. There had to be another way to get that toilet paper...

Pretending to be sad, he sighed, taking a final glance at her shopping cart. He saw bread, meat, dairy, frozen dinners...but surprisingly it was free from any of her favorite snacks, the Snackoos.

"Best of luck with the rest of shopping, I guess," Apollo said sounding defeated, as walked away.

"You too."

Once he was out of sight, he bolted down to the cookies and snacks aisle. He whizzed past all the Oreos and Chips Ahoys and every other cookie until he found the one and only Snackoo gold mine laid out before him. There was only one thing left to do. Apollo scooped an armful of bags into his cart. Unfortunately for Ema, they weren't a huge name brand and weren't being made in such large bulk like other popular snacks. Therefore, it only took him about 3 armfuls to snatch up all the Snackoos.

Apollo's cart couldn't carry anymore, so it was time to see if Klavier escaped. The attorney was fairly certain the prosecutor didn't get the toilet paper. Who in their right mind would give that freak their phone number? Though, Apollo had to admit it was sorta funny to see Klavier so flustered. He was normally so cool under pressure...

Bah. He pushed that thought from his mind. It was more fun to Klavier suffer, who was he kidding?

Regardless, he'd endeavor to find the prosecutor and then put his evil plan into action...