I've had this story in progress for a while but with five-0 coming to an end I'm not sure if it will change how I see things so thought I would publish it. Also not got round to putting into chapters so sorry it's super long and I can't decide if it's finished or not.

McGarrets House 12.30am

Looking up at the clock Steve gave a grunt, after finishing up a busy week which included a couple of all nighters he'd enjoyed his longbow on the beach and was looking forward to a good nights sleep. The knocking came again but harder this time, slipping on his shorts grabbing his T-shirt and gun and yelling "I'm coming, I'm coming" as he got to the door. Expecting it to be Danny he was surprised when it was an unknown local. Seeing the gun the guy took a step back, "yes" Steve barked. Steve could then see the moment the guy realised he had knocked on the door of Commander McGarrett of Five-0's door. Speechless for a moment he gestured to his taxi, "she wouldn't let me take her to the hospital, just here, but now I can't get her to wake up"

Sighing Steve tucked his gun into his boxers and slipped on his T-shirt and flip flops, grabbing his keys he began mumbling about cases now coming to his house directly. The taxi driver could see the moment things changed, as Steve opened the back door of the taxi and recognised the victim. "Cath... Catherine wake up"

Tears immediately came to Steve's eye, he'd seen victims, and at that point that was the best way he could think to describe her, she had two black eyes and her face was so swollen and bruised that if he hadn't spent years memorising her face he might have struggled to recognise her, her hair was a mess, some bits looked like they had been cut, or pulled out and were bald, other bits remained long. Her hands were in bandages and one arm in a sling. Assessing the situation he recognised she must have had some medical help already. She still didn't stir even with Steve soft murmuring and gentle touches, even unconscious he could feel her tensing and flinching at even the lighted touch.

"What happened, where did you find her" Steve barked at the driver whilst tuning back into the house to get his truck keys, phone wallet and badge.

"Pearl, I picked her up down by the base, she insisted on coming here, wouldn't let me swing by the hospital first"

Opening up the truck Steve transferred Catherine, again new tears came to his eyes when he felt how light and small she was, his Catherine had never been big but she was now all skin and bones.

"I need you to call HPD and give Detective Daniel Williams your details and tell him to come to Tripler" Steve ordered, taking note of his number plate in his mind just incase. Grabbing Catherine's rucksack out of the taxi he then sped out of the drive way with his lights flashing.

The journey seemed to take forever even though the streets were empty and Steve drove as fast as he dared without risking further injury to his passenger. He kept looking over at her, he could tell she was breathing but it was shallow and underneath all the bruising she was so pale. He knew he was meant to keep it together, he was drawing of all of his training not to breakdown and cry just seeing how bad things were. If she pulled through Steve could see she had been through hell, and how she even had made it to Hawaii he didn't know. "It's all right Cath, your home now, I've got you, it's going to be alright" reiterating those words the whole way he was relieved to finally arrive at Tripler. Carrying her in to the hospital he and was met by a nurse who helped Steve unload Catherine into a bed and she then had a whole team working on her. Most of the team knew Steve from one incident or another so weren't surprised when he refused to stand outside of the room. The sick feeling in Steve's gut only got worse as they removed her clothes and he could that the bruising on her face was nothing compared to the rest of her body.

"What's her name sir?"

"Ca... not sure she's a Jane Doe" as worried as he was the years of training that was ingrained in him came out, Catherine had come to him so it might mean she still wasn't safe, at this point he didn't know if it was the CIA or someone else but keeping Catherine safe, no matter what, is and always would be his top priority.

When Danny found him he was sat with his elbows on his knees up against the walls rubbing his eyes.

"She's in surgery, internal bleeding... Danny she was in a bad way" Steve got out before looking up to the ceiling to try and stop himself from breaking down any further.

Sitting down next to Steve, trying to give him some comfort Danny gave a small smile and said "she's you but female, she'll be ok, she's tough".

Shaking his head Steve said, "you didn't see her, she's clearly been tortured, raped, I honestly don't know how she made it to the island."

Danny didn't know what to say, looking at Steve he realised what he had known all along, Catherine was it for Steve, he wasn't sure how much Steve realised but he was waiting for her, regardless of Lynn or any other flirtations or dates he may have had since Catherine left Steve was here waiting for her to come home, and the idea that she might not be able to come back to him when she's was done saving the world was scaring Steve to his core.

After the two partners were sat watching the doors to the surgery suite for hours a nurse finally came out. "Commander, she made it through surgery but is still in a critical condition, she has a long way to go as her injuries are extensive and that's not even taking into account the psychological journey she will need to go on".

Standing up to attention Steve's only thoughts were about seeing she was still alive with his own eyes, "can I see her?".

The nurse took him up to her room where she was still so pale under her bruises and hooked up to so many machines. Taking a seat next to her Steve sat down as he realised it was nearly dawn. "Sorry Danny, I shouldn't have had them call you in the middle of the night"

"Steve, it's Cath, of course you did, I didn't get anything more from the taxi driver than what he told you, picked her up outside Pearl, offered to take her to the hospital but she only wanted to come to yours. When was the last time you'd heard from her?"

"I don't know, a few weeks ago maybe, we've been messaging a bit more since the whole Greer thing, but I didnt think anything of it that I hadn't heard from her, just figured she'd gone dark"

"Steve you can't blame yourself, you didn't know"

"Yeah, I didn't give them a name, until we know what happened I didn't want any flags raised"

Danny was shocked by this statement, "you think the company would be involved?" "I don't know, but she made it back to the island, to mine so probably not as I'm sure it would be one of the first places they would look but until we find out I don't want anyone but you and me knowing she's here."

Nodding Danny knew even in his frantic state Steve's plans, even the most hairbrained, were usually for good reason.

Settling in for the day Danny kept Steve well fed and left him there over night. Every time she began to wake she would get so distressed they had decided to keep her sedated so she couldn't cause any further damage to herself by pulling out the internal stitches.

"Danno, I dumped the truck outside when I dropped her off, one of the security guys moved it into a bay for me, but it has her pack in, can you grab it, see if theres anything in it, I want to know what happened" Steve wanted answers, seeing her like this was making him angry and he needed to feel like he was doing something. Wordlessly, sensing his partners growing anguish and not wanting to add to it he grabbed the pack and headed back to Catherine's room. Due to Steve's fears for her safety they had secured her a private room in the corner of the ward so Danny silently handed Steve her bag.

Opening it up there wasn't a lot in there her passport, a small wash bag, a book and a small trinket holder. With a small smile Steve knew what he would find in there, part of him amazed she still had it with her, it was a small charm necklace, palming the charms he touched first the C then the star and the small diamond pendant. They had never been big into buying each other grand presents but he had found it when he was on a tour and had given it to her on one of their precious leaves. She had been touched by his thoughtfulness and he had seen it on her many times after.

"I guess you were never too far from her thoughts" Danny said interrupting his thoughts. Inside the book that he had placed on the table were three pictures of the two of them together. "Why have I never seen these before? Look how young you both look"

"Hmmm... I havn't seen these myself for years" taking one and smiling a sad smile he looked at it for a few seconds before sharing "that was our first date, there was a ball in Annapolis I'd got an invite to" grinning Steve contemplated the picture "we'd been hanging out for a while at that point, I got injured pretty bad and Joe made me promise to ask her out when I survived, we were in a bad situation but he made me promise to go ask, you know what she said, 'what took you so long sailor' and that was that really, where our thing started. I can't believe she still has that picture."

Danny looked at the three pictures a little more and quietly said, "well maybe you make another promise to Joe now, when she gets out of this situation you ask her out again"

"Yeah maybe" Steve only partially committed but the idea that of all the stuff she had in her pack it was the necklace and the photos of the two of them added to the heaviness in Steve's heart, could there still be a chance for the two of them?

By day three the doctors had decided it was time to ease the sedation and bring her round, Steve still hadn't left her side for more than a couple of minutes despite Danny's constant mother-henning.

As Catherine was coming round Steve gently stroked her right arm, one area where she wasn't bruised as her hands were fully bandaged where they had broken the majority of her fingers, even the thought brought a new wave of nausea to Steve's stomach.

"Cath, your ok, it's all going to be ok, I'm here, your safe"

Her eyes were darting around and she could quite focus, "Steve, I want Steve"

"I'm here, Cath, I'm here it's going to be ok now" finally focusing in on him she seemed to calm a little "your real?"

"Yeah I'm real, you made back to me, it's all going to be ok now, I've got you, it's going to be ok"

Calming she drifted off again, only to replay the same scene numerous times throughout the night.

By day four Catherine was a little more alert but when Steve pressed her about what had happened her response was "an op went wrong, I was caught by a local militia group, two weeks later they made a mistake, left me cutlery and I managed to get out, I knew my team weren't coming for me, I was on my own, a local doctor fixed me up but I just needed to not be there, managed to get a couple of connecting flights back here".

"Cath you nearly died"

Shrugging and putting on an air that she didn't realise, "sorry I shouldn't of bothered you" rolling over he could see the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Gently he stroked her hair making her turn back to him "hey, don't do that, you know I'm here for you when ever and what ever you need no questions asked, always" letting that sink in he followed it up with "I was scared Cath, that you weren't going to be ok and I'm not ok with that" nodding he could see the emotion was getting too much so he pulled her into a gentle hug where she cried herself to sleep.

The next time she came round she was a bit more aware, still waking up panicked but Steve found he was able to calm her much quicker. After another 2 days of a similar patten Catherine was asking more consistently to leave and Steve had to agree she seemed a bit stronger and he was dying to get out of the hospital too after a week of staying there constantly.

Steve walked up the nurses station, some knew him were friendly, one Kendra had been Catherine's main point of contact and had allowed Steve's vigil recognising that the safety of her patient was key, although she suspected that it was a little more than 'Five-0 policy' which had the head of the task not leaving the victims side for a week. "Catherine wants to go home, she ready to leave, I have extensive medical training and if I think anything is wrong I will bring her straight back." Steve phrased it as a statement, he wasn't really asking. "Ok Commander, I'm inclined to agree with you, but she's been a victim of a very serious sexual, physical and psychological assault, she will need to speak to someone, so far she has refused to speak with the assigned psychiatrist and she is clearly dealing with PTSD, after what she's been through it's not just the physical treatment that we need to focus on." The sick feeling in Steve's stomach was back, he recognised the signs and how far Catherine still had to come, "ok, what are you recommending?" "She needs to see a psychiatrist daily, for at least the next month along with the PT she will need on her hands and left arm as a minimum, we have someone here for both of those, but it will mean her coming in and out daily if she wants to go home, and even at home she shouldn't be left alone for too long as I havnt yet seen her be able to calm herself down when she wakes up panicked."

Sighing knowing that the nurse was only trying to help in making sure he realised how much help Catherine needed he nodded. "Ok, if I get her to agree to those terms she can go home today?" "That's really against medical advice but I can see that it is causing her stress being here, does she have someone at home?"

"She'll be staying with me, and I'll make sure she attends her meetings"

Getting frustrated Steve sighed "Cath, the nurse is right you need to talk to someone" "I'll talk to you, you get it, I don't see how a stranger will help" Catherine responded, Steve smiled gently, it was the most fire he had seen from her and he was glad it was still there no matter how much she had been through "come on Cath, we've both seen how much this can mess a person up, come home with me, and I'll drop you in to do your PT and have a chat with the psychiatrist everyday, that's their final offer, we can be be at home eating take out on the beach in a couple of hours" giving her his best goofy smile she nodded and gave a resigned "fine".

After what seemed like forever after hours of waiting for sign off to leave and having the next steps explained Steve pulled into the beach house, he had called Kamekona and had him drop off some take out so they didn't need to go out again as it was nearing 5pm. Catherine had withdrawn again in the car ride home and seemed to not even notice when he turned the engine off "Cath, we're home" he said startling her out of her thoughts, he hoped he would be enough, that bringing her home was the right thing to do, it wasn't like him to be so unsure but Catherine clearly was so troubled it was hard not to imagine what she had been through, she seemed ok with his touch but he didn't want to push it.

"I need a shower" she suddenly stated. "Ok, why don't you take the en suite, take my room and I'll sleep in Mary's room, Junior is in the spare but he tends to come and go. I'm just going to check on Eddie and mr pickles"

Nodding in thanks Catherine made her way up the stairs, not wanting to wait for Steve, she locked the bathroom door and stripped and got under the water at the hottest heat, scolding her already bruised skin.

She could feel a panic attack coming on as she slid down the tiles and wrapped her arms around her legs. The worse the attack got the more angry she became with herself, she needed to get a handle on everything, she just couldn't seem to find any balance in order to catch her breath.

Giving Eddie a quick 10 min run out on the beach Steve headed upstairs and could hear the water running, so he quickly jumped in the main shower. After getting dressed he could still hear the shower running, and was beginning to worry, knocking on the door he received no answer, he tried the handle but it was locked. Knocking again he called out "Cath, I'm starting to worry, I'm coming in". Hearing no reply he jimmied the lock easily and entered, through the steam he saw her curled up in a ball in the corner of the shower, his stomach lurched and his heart broke at the sight of the woman he loved so broken. Turning the water off he crouched down and put his arms around her, ignoring her flinch when he touched her he lifted her up and bought her out placing her on the bed. She barely even realised what he was doing, it was the first proper time he had doubted his decision to bring her home, could he really give her the help she needed, would he really be enough? Grabbing a towel from the bathroom he moved back to the bed and began to dry her off. This was the first time he had seen her body since she had arrived and what he now saw made him want to be sick. He could see the marks that marked her beautiful skin and the extent of the wounds that had been inflicted. Leaving her for a second to grab the first aid kit from under the sink he began to redress the larger of her wounds. She was in a trance and barely even noticed him doing it. He grabbed a large T-shirt from his draw and pulled it over her head before lying her down and tucking her in. He moved to leave her to sleep but heard a quite whisper "don't leave me". His heart breaking for her he moved back to the bed and pulled her into his arms. Waking many times throughout the night, but with Steve with her she was able to calm her thoughts and finally get some rest.

Finding a rhythm over the next few days Steve would drop Catherine off at the hospital in the morning and Kamekona or Grace would pick her up at lunchtime if Steve was unable to pick her up. Catherine was making good progress in physio therapy regaining her strength and mobility. She followed it by a session with her psychologist where having been diagnosed with PTSD she wasn't progressing quite as fast, she was still very withdrawn and the nightmares still haunted her throughout the night. Steve would come home from work every evening and find her sitting on the beach with Eddie waiting for the sun to set, sometimes they sat in silence, other nights she would ask about his day and he would regale her with details of his and Danny's exploits or of Junior or Adam. Eddie had become her guard dog and seemed to be the only one able to elicit a smile.

Having met daily for three weeks Catherine was finding it very hard to open up about what had happened to her, "I've told you every day I don't want to sit and go through it again, I just want to feel better" at the constant probing Catherine finally snapped "if I need to talk I'll talk to Steve about it"

"Tell me about Steve?" The psychiatrist surprised her with. "He wasn't there, he isn't anything to do with what happened" "Humor me, tell me about him, when did you meet him?"

" I was on an op in intelligence, I hadn't been on the team long at that point and was assigned to support a seal team, we had a few hold ups so we're stationed on base together waiting for them to ship out for the mission, for three weeks, lots of downtime which was a luxury for us all. They were great fun and I ended up spending time with them, the whole team was focused but also knew how to have fun, Steve was more focused but Freddie one of the other guys, god he always knew how to have fun where ever we went, he dragged Steve along with him, he was serious but Freddie gave him hell until he joined him in whatever hairbrained idea he had. One of the first nights we were stationed there Freddie challenged me to a game of pool, then just as we were starting realised the time and ran off to call his girlfriend, he forced Steve to play with me instead, I ended up beating Steve at pool the first night they had invited me out which Freddie thought was hilarious so made sure to invite me out after that, I'd grown up navy and just seemed to fit in with their banter straight away. We would hit this bar in the evenings, play pool, I guess that's where I got to know Steve a bit better, he always seemed to hang back a little, you could see even back then he was the natural leader, he had this confidence that attracted people to him but when you got to know him you realised there was more to him, I guess that's when we started chatting, without even meaning too we would find ourselves chatting just the two of us, looking back now I guess we were both a bit lonely though no one else would ever tell from the outside. But then they were gone. That was the life we chose. I was surprised when he sort me out three months later, we had a connection but we hadn't even kissed, I was working on a ship and he came and sat down beside me in the mess hall, 'miss me' was all he said and gave me this grin, I knew then I was hooked, we hung out a few times until he shipped out again and I saw him a few more times over the next few months and he always made the point of finding me but it was never long enough for anything to happen. It was a shock when he rang me, he had never rung me before, I was back stateside then I could tell from his voice something had changed and he asked me to this ball close to where I was posted, made a point of clarifying that he was asking me on a date, I got some leave approved, bought a new dress, spent the whole weekend with him, I guess after that things developed, or as much as they can when your both in the navy, we started making plans for leaves, calls here and there, it was too complicated to define us but neither of us saw other people for a long time after that."

Sensing that at least when the subject was Steve she would talk the psychiatrist probed further "and you and Steve now, are you together?"

Shaking her head indicating they were not she ventured "It's complicated, well it's not really, I joined the CIA and Steve said he wouldn't wait, he didn't want the separation again, was going to propose, he's settled down here on the island, made a life for himself"

"And that wasn't what you wanted?"

"I don't know, I thought I did, but then my business partner died, then I got Steve kidnapped by the Taliban and after that I just didn't know what I wanted, the CIA saved me when I was on an unsanctioned op and I did some work for them, I tried to explain it to Steve but he was busy and I wasn't sure if I fit into his life any more, we still kept in touch but we weren't together any more, he started seeing someone, that didn't work out but I'm not sure what to do any more. I'm just tired, tired of hurting, tired of hurting him, tired of the CIA, but if I just stop then what, what do I have, nothing. But I don't want to go back, I was done before this op went fubar but I don't know if there is a place for me here, in Hawaii"

Steve was sat in a car with Danny on a stakeout, "so Steve, Catherine's still living with you" "yes Danny, like yesterday when you asked" rolling his eyes Steve played out the conversation they had had most days since Catherine had returned to the island. "Did you tell her yet your still in love with her and that you still have the ring?" The second he had corrected Danny's assumption that he had got rid of the ring Danny hadn't stopped going on about it. Steve had realised it was a mistake to let Danny know that immediately after he had corrected him, and like a dog with a bone hadn't let it go since. "No Danny, like yesterday she's still healing and me putting pressure on her won't help" never one to back down in a conversation Danny persisted, "it might, it could give her a reason to stay, something to focus on" looking out the window Steve wasn't sure, he had never been a good enough reason to get her to stay before, realising he had pushed the brooding commander far enough, for today anyway, Danny relented and moved his focus back onto the stakeout.

He got back as quick as he could, he had been wrapped up in a case for the last 72hours only stopping to give her a quick call to check in once or twice a day, stepping outside he could see her and Eddie in her normal spot, sighing he was worried, it had been twelve weeks since he had bought her back from the hospital, she was still having nightmares and he was worried if she had slept at all over there last few nights without him here, whilst he felt sick by the situation that had bought her back into his life he couldn't lie to himself and pretend he wasn't enjoying having her back curled up with him at night and he had missed her the last three nights whilst he was working on the case.

As he walked down he could see the cast on her arm had been taken off and studying her face most of the bruising had not gone, just a few healing cuts and a few marks here and there, he let out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding when she heard him and turned around and gave him a beautiful smile. He could tell she actually meant it, unlike the smiles she had been giving him over the last few weeks.

"Steve, your home, you must be exhausted, I made some dinner, I can heat it up for you"

Slinging a casual arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side he shrugged "let's just sit and watch this sunset for a few minutes" both of them smiling and not detaching from each other's side they enjoyed the quiet time together taking things in.

"I made a decision, I told the CIA I wouldn't be coming back, I'm done, there is some bits to finalise, a whole load of paper work and evaluations I'm sure but I'm done."

Steve wasn't sure how to respond, this was his dream, having Catherine sat here beside him, but that self preservation gene kicked in and he could help but wonder was this her running again, he wanted her to choose him, not run away from the CIA.

"Are you sure, you loved that job, I know what happened was awful but I also know how strong you are, and you will get through this, everything is going to be alright"

"I was done before this op Steve, and I don't want to go back." Tentatively, trying to be brave, she leaned up and gave him a gentle peck on his lips "I'd like to stay if that's ok?" Tucking a piece of her hair that had come loose behind her ear he left his hand cupping her cheek, "I'd like that a lot" leaning back in he gave her another gentle kiss. Aware she was still fragile and working through her rape and torture he tucked her under his arm and into his chest and kissed the top of her head. Enjoying the simplicity of the moment in their crazy lives he simply smiled and said "It's great to have you home Cath".

The sun had long set before Catherine moved from his embrace and pulled Steve up, "come on, you must be exhausted, I'll heat up some lasagne and you need to get some sleep" smiling he threw his arm around her again, not wanted to sever their connection as they walked back into the house and he let her look after him for a bit.

Curling up in bed, he kissed her this time more passionately. He could tell she was nervous when he broke away, she whispered "Steve, I want to, I just don't know if I'm ready" giving her another gentle kiss he whispered back, "Cath, there's no rush, it's you and me, id wait for forever". Closing his eyes he took in what had happened tonight, she was staying, there were lots of un-answered questions but he allowed himself to just enjoy that she was choosing to stay and although a little wounded was safe in his arms.

He was shocked when he heard her gentle whisper "I love you Steve" not sure that she meant to have him hear he decided he didn't want to miss the opportunity, plus if she could say what they had avoided for years the he should be brave and put himself out there too. Danny had been poking him non stop for weeks about the ring too, so he responded clearly "I love you Catherine, and when were ready I still have your ring, it's always been you, I can't wait for the rest of our lives to begin"

Welling up Catherine moved her head to look into his eyes, only seeing truth and love, giving him another kiss good night they held each other even tighter and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Walking out back he found her in the same spot he'd found her every night for the past few months. Slipping in behind her he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. She smiled and whispered" remember the first sunset we watched together?"

"Didn't fancy being beaten at pool again tonight?" He looked up in surprise, it was unusual for someone to be able to creep up on him like that and gave her a soft smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Ahh Rollins my ego can't take it every night, I have a reputation your spoiling"

"I'm sure you can handle it" she countered back, they had ended up playing pool for the last three nights and after the first time she beat him they were at about a draw. She was enjoying getting to know the cocky but charming SEAL but was also intrigued by what she didn't know about him, she couldn't quite place the vulnerability that she often caught glimpses of. She knew him by reputation before she had even met him, he was on track, a favourite of many of the top brass and knew he was intelligent too given his background in NI whilst having the physique to maintain a top spot in the SEAL team.

Watching him look back out at the sea, she was still confused by him, but identified with one thing that she saw, loneliness. They were two of the most sociable confident sailors but she saw in him what she often hid well, a sense of loneliness. Sitting down beside him her arm gently touching his she wondered what his story was, "where's home for you sailor?" She always like a puzzle, a hidden code, and she figured she was going to be stuck with this team for a while so may as well figure him out. He shrugged, nodding far out to sea "I grew up in Hawaii, but haven't been back since I was 16, Coronado, Annapolis, Montana, the Stan, they've all been home since then."

"I know that feeling, I'm a navy through and through, my dads navy so I grew up following him around the world then headed to Annapolis at 17 and here we are"

Nodding, realising she was trying to tell she got what he was saying he relaxed a little more, starting to enjoy his time with the beautiful Lieutenant. He was always careful around girls, they normally wanted more from him than he could give, but with Rollins she got the life, didn't seem like she had an agenda.

"Your team seem great, you all seem tight, Freddie seems like great fun and a great guy" A hint of something went through him, it couldn't be jealousy, he didn't get jealous, had worked hard to stop being jealous when other people's family's would visit or send care packages years ago during military school and Annapolis. So she liked Freddie, everyone did he was easy going and full of life. "He has a girlfriend, even with all his blustering and fighting he would never stray, he'll be loyal to her till his last breathe" cutting him off she interjected "Oh no, I don't date navy men, that's my one rule"

Instead of being deterred by the range of emotions running through him and her declaration he just laughed and smirked at her "if you say so Rollins"

They spent another hour chatting on the beach, getting to know each other whilst keeping up their strong banter before heading back to the bar to join up with the rest of the team. Everything had changed though for them and for the next three weeks they enjoyed the down time, sitting watching sunsets and playing pool in the bar of an evening, until the team were called up, then they just weren't there any more, no goodbyes, but that was the life.

Steve had been at work late, had then gone with Danny for a quick beer at side street, it had been a while and he wanted to vent about Will and Grace wanting to go away for the weekend together. Entering the house things immediately seemed off- Eddie came to the top of the stairs barking like crazy, Steve ran up to follow him as he moved back into the bedroom but didn't stop barking at the bathroom door. "Cath... Cath open up" he could hear the shower on but Eddie continued stretching and barking at the door letting him know that things weren't right "Cath I'm coming in" jimmying the lock he pushed in and saw her having a panic attack sat curled up in the corner of the shower. Reminiscent of the first week when he bought her home he got soaked in the process of turning it off he lent down and picked her up, carrying her back to the bed he wrapped her in a comforter that had been discarded holding her close to him "your ok, Cath just breathe, it's me, it's Steve I'm here". She was freezing cold and shivering and judging by how upset Eddie also was she had been in this state for a while. "Down boy, it's ok, I've got this" Steve instructed Eddie who wanted to check for himself his self appointed ward was ok.

It took a while to calm Catherine down and warm her up, she still hasn't really said very much but eventually she fell asleep in Steve's arms. It pained him how much distress she was still in, she hadn't had an attack like this since the first week or two she had been staying with him, cursing himself for not checking in and coming back when he could of after work Steve hugged her tighter. Sensing his movement Cath stirred and murmured "sorry, god I'm still such a mess, my boss called, I have to report to Washington next week, they feel they have left me 'holiday' long enough."

Panic ran through Steve too, was this it for them? tentatively not sure he wanted to know the answer he asked "what did you tell them?"

Catherine could tell there was doubt and anticipation laced in his voice, he had looked after her and treated her like the centre of his world for the last few months, she wanted to give something back to him.

"I said I'm out, I'm not doing it any more, but I still have to go finish up, could take a month or so" she had said the first part with the most conviction he had heard her talk about anything in the few months, seeming to get a bit of her fight back. Feeling she still hadn't given him enough and wanted to know for sure this time, not to mess things up she much more tentatively, questioning said "then I'd like to come back here, maybe you could give me that ring, I don't know, if you wanted we could try to start a family of our own? Be selfish and do something just for me and you for a change? I kinda feel like I've given enough for the great old USA?"

Cupping her cheek, he smiled at her, kissed her softly and whispered "I'd like nothing more, I love you Catherine". It was the most raw and honest they had ever been with each other, Steve kissed her slowly, before Catherine, with both of them still naked from the shower incident, responded by climbing on top of him, kissing him harder. His hands gently moved down her body guiding her, "Cath, we don't have to, if your not ready" cutting him off with another kiss, "I am, or I want to be at least, I'm not on the pill, is that ok?" Realising what she was saying, that she was ready for sex, and that she was ready to have a family with him, he kissed her gently but let her remain on top and let her guide them. She set their pace, gently easing him into her, softly she lent over him looking into his eyes as she moved him gently in and out. She began to respond to him and he began to help her, his hands gently running all over her body. He loved the feel of being back inside her and he made sure she enjoyed it, checking she was still onboard and gently teasing her nipples and caressing her whole body. As he felt her tighten and reach orgasm he finally he took his release. It had been too long since they had been together and the gentle way in which they touched couldn't erase the past but was a perfect way to confirm their commitment to each other and after making love they both fell into a content dreamless sleep wrapped in each other.

Five-0 Headquarters - 9am

"What do you mean your going to Virginia?" Danny exclaimed for the fourth time, seemingly without a satisfactory answer. Exasperated Steve sign "only for a few days, a week at most, I'm going to go with Cath and get her settled back into her apartment whilst she finishes up with the CIA and I spoke to the governor he has some people he wants me to meet in DC whilst I'm there, he hardly makes it there any more and if I meet with some people it will allow him to put it off again for another few months, it's win win."

"For you, certainly not for me, granted I get to drive my own car for a change but you can't let her go back to the CIA, she'll get caught up again, they will talk her into another op. No I won't allow it, I can't believe you think this is a good idea" not noticing how Steve was starting to get frustrated Danny continued "did you not see the state she was in when she came back, she's hardly left the house in three months, she's a shell of the old Catherine, they left her alone with terrorists Steve, did nothing to save her and your just letting her go back to them as if nothings changed. Does she want that, is she just leaving again, because I've just started to forgive her for leaving the first time, I really can't believe she thinks it's ok to come and let you fall in love with her again and then just leave. It's not ok, and" "That's enough Danny. You think I'm not worried, I've been the one to see every nightmare, seeing her sat in the corner having a panic attack, it's the CIA Danny, we've been lucky they have left her alone for this long, you think her therapist isnt sharing notes with them, that they are not tracking her phone. She has no choice but to go back, so I just can't, I won't, let her go alone."

Sitting down in the chair opposite Steve's desk, and waving for Steve to do the same Danny sighed, "ok, I'm just worried about her, and you, but I've got things covered here for as long as you need"

"Thanks Danno, I know it's not ideal and I'll owe you again, once all of this is over I'll be back on board more here, you can take some leave take Grace and Charlie away for a week or two or head back East to see your folks"

"Steve, were good, you have a good team, we know what we're doing, and without you wrecking so many cars I have less reports to fill out. So go, make sure your girls ok and you can buy me a drink at side street when your back"

It had been a long handover in Virginia, Steve had managed to stretch his stay out to three weeks by meeting more people for the governor but by the end of the three weeks he had to head home. He had been terrified leaving her, the nightmares were back and without him to calm her down he wasn't sure she was getting much sleep at all. She was finally heading home, another three weeks after Steve had left her. She was skinnier than he had left her but she also felt like a weight had been lifted, she was done. They had promised to leave her alone and she was hopeful about the future. Getting off a commercial flight she saw him as soon as she stepped off the plane. Smiling to herself at the strings he must of had to pull to be waiting at the bottom of the steps she was just delighted when he pulled her into his arms.

Eddie found her as soon as she walked through the door to the beach house, he had missed her, giving her a good lick. Smiling her first true wide smile she sat with Steve on the sofa with his arms around her. "Your home now Cath, everything will be ok".