A.N. No one knows better than I do the seriousness of our situation. But I am also aware that we need to do whatever we can to maintain our sanity until we get to the other side of this. Humor helps. Set in season 7, because I like that version of the team. It kind of meanders all over the place, because I just wanted to spend some time with the team. Thought you might want to as well.

Quarantine

"Whose idea was this again?" Emily Prentiss couldn't keep the annoyance out of her voice.

Rossi was himself a little bit annoyed at Emily's annoyance. "These are hardly 'hardship conditions', my friend."

Hotch repeated what he'd told all of them. "I believe we have Chief Strauss to thank for it."

"Well I, for one, appreciate it. Thanks for agreeing to let all of us stay at your place, Rossi."

Reid was carrying a stack of books selected from the extensive library he'd found in Rossi's study.

The BAU founder raised an eyebrow. "You planning on checking all of those out? Because I'm pretty sure they would still be there tomorrow, if you'd left them on the shelf."

"Or in an hour, when he finishes them," Derek Morgan piped up. "Pretty Boy is in his glory, holed up in a house with a thousand books."

Reid automatically started to correct him. "There are seven hundred and…"

Seeing the look on Morgan's face, JJ cut her best friend off.

"Actually, I think we'll have enough work to keep all of us busy. They may be worried about us contaminating the building after our case in Seattle, but there's a reason they insisted we all quarantine together."

"Which is?" challenged Morgan.

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" she responded. "We may be under quarantine, but we're not sick and there are still serial killers out there."

Emily wasn't quite on board.

"I still don't understand why we all had to quarantine together. I would have been fine at home."

JJ knew better. "Emily, you would have gone 'wiggly' at home. You're an extrovert."

"No, I'm not! I'm an introvert. I love cuddling up with a nice glass of wine and a good romance movie."

"I'm an introvert, too," offered Reid, unhelpfully.

"No kidding." Said all five of the others, in concert.

Hotch answered Emily's original question. "I can't say for certain, but I suspect Chief Strauss may be trying to make a point."

"Which is what, exactly?" asked Rossi, already planning what he would say to his one-time friend from way back when.

"That we're not as cohesive as we think we are. That our faults will be magnified when we're in close quarters."

"Hmph," grumbled Rossi. "These are hardly close quarters. Doesn't everyone have their own bedroom?"

"But Morgan and I are sharing a bathroom." Spencer Reid always liked to be precise.

"Spence, I told you, Emily and I can share."

This time it was Morgan who harrumphed. "Two women sharing a bathroom? That'll take you twice as long, won't it?"

The BAU genius recognized an opportunity when he met it.

"I'm sure they're both naturally beautiful. It probably doesn't take them any time at all to look the way they do."

Rossi raised 'my boy' brows to his old friend Aaron Hotchner, while Emily and JJ made a show of thanking Reid.

Morgan wasn't about to be shown up. "Yeah, well, I'm a pretty quick in-and-out guy myself," stroking his bearded chin. "But Pretty Boy, here?" Grabbing Reid's smooth cheeks in one hand. "This takes a while."

I wish, thought Reid, whose beard still hadn't fully exited puberty. To Morgan, he protested, "No touching! We're supposed to be six feet apart."

JJ was familiar with the caution, but she was also pragmatic.

"I think we pretty much broke that rule daily on our last case. Those were pretty tight quarters in that police station. And then we were on the plane."

Hotch agreed. "I think it might be too late to quarantine among us. But it's appropriate that we're not in the FBI building."

"I still don't see why…." Emily wasn't ready to let it go.

Her superior acknowledged her point, while also acknowledging their situation.

"There isn't a good reason. There's a 'Strauss reason'."

JJ was still more comfortable with her liaison skills than she was with her profiling skills, and she called upon them now.

"If we can't do anything about it, we may as well just figure out how we're going to deal with it. Maybe we can make a point back to Chief Strauss, by actually making this work."

Knowing how well her team rallied around beating a common enemy.

"JJ's right," said Reid. "We need to make the best of this. And I'm going to start with this book. Rossi, did you realize this was a first edition?"

"Yes, young man, I did. So I will appreciate not finding any coffee stains on its pages. Nor anything else."

"Understood."

"Well, if Pretty Boy is going to read, what should the rest of us do?" asked Morgan.

"You mean, besides working?" Hotch made a point.

Morgan tapped his watch. "After hours, boss. And we don't have a case right now. Which reminds me…."

Morgan took out his cell phone and tapped a single number.

"My exiles!" came over the phone, in a familiar voice. "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, Baby Girl. Just be glad we didn't take you along on that last case, or you'd be exiling here alongside us."

"The only reason I'm not is because you guys went right from Galveston to Seattle. Otherwise, you would have been back here, and I would have been with you, and presenting the case, and not stuck here with a bunch of computers and supporting a team a barely know. All in all, I think I got the worst part of the deal. I mean, considering the alternative is to be exiled to Rossi's mansion with my Chocolate Thunder."

"You're on speaker, Garcia."

"And all of my dearest friends," she ended, as though she'd meant to say it all along.

"Hi, Pen." JJ called out. "Did you find it?"

"Right on your desk, like you said. I'll drop it off with Will on my way home."

"Great, thanks."

Seeing the puzzled looks on the faces of the others, JJ explained.

"A permission slip for Henry's field trip. I forgot it in my purse when I dropped him off at school."

Emily was surprised. "Field trip? Isn't he like….three?"

Reid knew about it. "They're going to a farm."

Again, Emily was surprised. "We have farms in Washington, DC?"

Having closed his call with Garcia, Morgan chuckled at his colleague.

"You need to get out of the city sometime, Princess."

Rossi looked a question at his old friend Aaron, who returned a subtle nod. Permission granted, Rossi passed through his gathered teammates and started down a long hallway, beckoning them to follow.

"Happy hour is this way, boys and girls."

If Reid had been happy to see the library, the others were ecstatic at what awaited them.

"Rossi!" exclaimed Morgan, "Why have I never seen this before?"

"It's called 'remodeling', my friend, courtesy of the profits from my last book coming out in paperback."

Hotch gave an appreciative whistle. "This is even more impressive than I expected from your description."

The famous author's office had been transformed into a high-end game room, tastefully but elaborately furnished with a full-sized poker table, comfortable leather furniture, and an obviously well-stocked bar.

"Only the best for my friends," said Rossi, while the others wandered the room looking at photos of him with some of his better known 'friends'.

At one of them, Emily's mouth dropped open. "Has…. Has Ringo actually been here?" A note of reverence in her voice.

"At this very table, as you can see," replied Rossi, as he moved to the bar. "Now, who's having what?"

One by one, the drinks were poured, and the team members settled themselves upon the various chairs and sofas.

"So, what should we talk about?" Emily, the ambassador's daughter, knew that conversation always went with cocktails.

Reid had been socially savvy enough to deposit his pile of books on a side table, but his rapidly bobbing leg was evidence of his desire to be involved in something other than small talk. Seeing, JJ thought it might be helpful to allow him to set the topic.

"What do you want to talk about, Spence?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you, Pretty Boy. What do you usually talk about at your cocktail parties?"

"I don't usually talk about anything. I mean….I think this is my first one."

The others shared a smile, while Hotch spoke up in sympathy.

"If it's any consolation, they're not my favorite thing, either."

"Me, too," intoned JJ.

Rossi looked around at his colleagues. "Maybe we spend too much time together for small talk. What say we play?" Moving over to his poker table.

Playing a card game was an idea Reid could definitely entertain.

"Sure, I'm in!"

JJ gave her best friend a look. "You cheat."

He managed to look offended, while lying back to her. "I do not!"

"Reid." Hotch's voice was mock-stern.

"Well…okay, maybe sometimes. But I can't help it if my brain notices things."

"It's called 'card-counting', Kid. And it's enough to get you banned from a casino."

Now Reid sported a look of pride. "Every one in Las Vegas. Even the ones I've never been to."

Rossi smiled as he shuffled the cards. "Apparently, your reputation precedes you."

Emily walked over behind the bar, having spotted something.

"Well, okay, I guess I'm in. But I'm only playing for peanuts." Pouring some into a bowl, from the jar she'd eyed.

"All right. But can we play gin? I beat him at gin, once." JJ moved over to join the others at the table.

"I let you win."

"No, you did not! You were looking at Hotch's cards, and then…"

"What?" Hotch took his seat at the table, directly across from Reid. "Good luck trying that, now."

Rossi started dealing the cards around the table. "Dealer makes it the lady's choice. Gin."

JJ, seated next to Reid, did her best to hide her cards from him.

"And don't let me win, this time. I want to do it on my own."

"Aha, so you admit I let you win last time."

"I do not. I'm just saying…"

"She's telling you not to cheat again, Hotshot. Even if it's to let her win."

JJ may have appreciated Morgan's support, but not the sentiment expressed.

"He didn't let me win!"

Unlike Reid, the ambassador's daughter was well-schooled in the value of small talk, and she put her lessons to work, partly to redirect the conversation, and also to keep the genius mind at the table occupied.

"So….quarantine. I wonder how long it will last."

She tried not to smile when she saw Reid's index finger rise to its teaching position.

"The word 'quarantine' comes from the Venetian 'quaranta giorni', which means 'forty days'. That's how long ships had to remain anchored at Venice, before anyone was allowed to leave them."

"Why?" asked JJ.

"Why was it derived, or why did they have to remain anchored?"

JJ cleared her throat in warning.

"Okay, they were anchored because it was the time of the Black Death, which we now know as bubonic plague."

Rossi discarded as he remarked, "It makes you wonder what this will be called when history looks back on it."

"Black death already being taken, of course."

The others looked around in amusement at the dark humor of their team leader.

"Actually, Black Death is still around," offered Reid. "We just don't use the term any more."

This was news to Morgan. "We still have plague?"

Emily shared some of Reid's science-geekness. "I think we usually catch it before the blackness, and the death, these days."

Reid agreed, in part. "We do have antibiotics for it now, but it can still be deadly."

Morgan was curious, in spite of himself. "Why did they call it Black Death?"

Reid was happy to answer him. "Because the lymph nodes nearest the flea bites often turned black."

"Fleas?" Rossi's brows were up.

Reid nodded as he took another card. "From infested rodents."

JJ shivered. "Can we stop talking about this now?"

Hotch raised a palm to delay the change of subject. "I think….yes, we can. Gin."

He laid down his hand, to both groans of disappointment and claps of congratulations.

Morgan had had enough of playing cards. "What about if I order us some pizzas?"

"Pizza? No, my friend," said Rossi. "Thank you, but no. Follow me back to the kitchen, if you will. Bring your drinks."

Reid brought his stack of books as well, and joined the others back in the kitchen, where Rossi was rustling around in his oversized freezer.

"Ah, here they are."

Removing two large aluminum pans and placing them on the counter. As he removed the coverings, he explained.

"Left over from last month's poker night. Chicken marsala, if I remember correctly….ah, yes."

Morgan was looking over his shoulder. "And a whole pan of broccoli?"

Rossi shrugged. "Ringo's watching his anti-oxidants."

He turned on the oven and placed the pans inside to heat.

"They'll be ready in about twenty minutes. Meanwhile…"

JJ spoke up. "Meanwhile, I need to call and say goodnight to Henry, if you all don't mind."

The others shooed her away to make her call, while Rossi called out to his old friend.

"Aaron, there's wine under the counter there, if you wouldn't mind opening it? Emily, I doubt there's much in the refrigerator after two weeks away, but take a look, will you? Morgan, Reid, the dishes are in the cabinet over there. You can set the table."

Morgan chuckled. "Okay, Dad. Me and the Beav here will set the table."

Emily was surprised. "You watched 'Leave It to Beaver'?"

"Huh?"

Reid offered an explanation, index finger in the air. "Some social scientists believe that a culture develops a collective consciousness, a shared set of beliefs or ideas that are common to a particular social group, even if they haven't shared the same experiences."

All four of the others stared at him, which prompted a further expounding. "It means that Morgan didn't have to watch 'Leave It to Beaver' to know about it."

Morgan shook his head. "Actually, Kid, it was reruns."

Emily, Hotch and Rossi shared a laugh as Reid heard his name being called from down the hall. He left Morgan to the task of setting up for dinner, and gladly went to see what JJ needed. He found her in the study.

"What is it?"

She held out her phone. "Your godson wants to say goodnight."

Watching as he took it from her, JJ smiled to see Reid virtually light up at the thought of Henry wanting to speak to him.

He never takes it for granted. Lesson to self.

Then she followed in amusement as Reid's expression changed from delighted, to surprised, to sympathetic, and finally, to contentment.

"Thanks, Henry. You sleep well, too. Or tight, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."

Shivering at the very idea.

He gave the phone back to JJ, who said her final goodnights and closed the call. When Reid turned to lead them back to the kitchen, she put out a hand to stop him.

"Hey. How are you doing with this?"

"With having to stay at Rossi's?"

"You know what I mean. With the whole idea of quarantine. Not that this is a terrible place to have to do it." Looking around the well-appointed room once again. "But you just got the heebie-jeebies at saying the word 'bedbugs'. How are you doing with the idea that we might have been exposed to a dangerous infection?"

"A lethal pathogen."

"What?"

"It's not just a dangerous infection. It's potentially deadly."

"Are you afraid? Because I am."

That put him into protective mode.

"You're young, and healthy, and even though we were there for a length of time, we don't know that we were actually exposed."

"I know, but…. they said we might not know for two weeks. What if…."

"It won't happen, JJ."

She shook her head. "That's what I thought back when we had that anthrax scare. I thought, 'It won't touch anyone I know, or anyone I love'. And then….."

"That was different. We were actually investigating the case."

"But what wasn't different was that someone I love was in danger. He almost lost his life. I don't think… I can't. I can't do that again."

He wanted so desperately to reassure her, but the facts weren't in his favor.

"We can't think like that. I can't think like that. I would a thousand times rather be the one with the infection, than to think about you getting it. Or Emily, or Morgan. Any of us."

"Well, considering you're the voice of experience…"

He smiled. "I am. And I'm sorry you were scared, back then. I'm sorry you had to worry. But I also remember you were worrying about Henry, and Will. You don't have to worry about them, this time."

"Provided those people out in Washington do what they're supposed to do, you mean."

He conceded it. "I know. We can't count on it. But Kimura seemed hopeful."

"From her mouth to God's ear, I hope. Okay, I guess, if you're not all skeeved out about it, that I shouldn't be, either."

"I wouldn't exactly say I'm okay about it. But I'm happy for the company I get to keep while I'm 'skeeved out' as you say."

She laughed. "You can't fool me, Spencer Reid. You're just excited at the size of Rossi's library."

He smiled. "Guilty. But….."

His words were cut off by Emily's voice wafting down the hall.

"Oh, Spencer…..JJ…..wash your hands, kids, and come to dinner."

The two smiled, and called back as one, "Okay, Mom!"

Dinner passed pleasantly enough, in spite of an impromptu lecture by Reid on how much of medieval literature was inspired by the Black Death. When he moved on from there to a recounting of the concept of quarantine stemming from Biblical references, and passing forward to modern times, Rossi interrupted him with exactly the right enticement.

"I've got a preview copy of that new film everybody's been talking about. You know the one…"

"Oh!" exclaimed Emily. "You mean the one about the woman who started that thing?"

"What thing?" asked Reid.

"Exactly," replied Rossi. "I'll go and get it set up."

JJ was already stacking plates. "All of you, go ahead. I was on the phone while you were putting dinner together. Let me clean up."

Reid and Hotch offered to help, while the others followed Rossi to his media room.

"You two all right?" asked their omniscient unit chief, as the three made short work of rinsing and loading dishes.

JJ smiled wryly at him. "That obvious, huh?"

"Not obvious. But I remember."

She appreciated that he'd been thinking about her. "Back then, I was worried that Henry could get sick, or Will. Not really about me. Now, it's kind of the opposite."

Hotch understood. "You're worried about them being without you." He included Reid by adding, "And you're worried about your mother."

The younger man acknowledged it, but explained. "I've got some plans in place, if anything should happen to me. I thought, considering what we do, it would be wise."

"So do Will and I, for Henry, of course. But that doesn't exactly make me feel better. And you, Hotch. What about Jack?"

"He'll be with Jessica, if anything happens to me. But I understand, it doesn't really bring comfort. Maybe just some peace of mind."

JJ passed off the final dish, and dried her hands. "Well, we're just going to have to get through this. I can handle quarantine, as long as I can look back on it one day, with Henry in my lap."

Hotch gave her a rare smile. "Then we'll just have to get there."

Cleanup done, they joined the others in the screening room, Reid grabbing the first edition he'd taken from Rossi's library, and bringing it with him. JJ and Hotch took two of the empty seats, leaving the last one to Reid. As he opened the book in his lap, he suddenly realized that he'd not been seated by accident. They'd left him the only spot with enough light to read by.

His teammates had been aware enough, and kind enough, to look out for him. Rossi had fed him better food than he'd had in a month. He would sleep in luxury tonight. He was surrounded by his friends, and he had a precious first edition book in his lap.

All in all, he thought, maybe quarantine isn't so bad. Which reminded him of something.

"Hey, you guys….did you know that Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity while he was in quarantine for the Black Death?"