Nick Fury's Newest Headache

"Stupefy!"

The calm, cultured, British voice was perhaps lost in the chaos and mayhem around the speaker.

The effect, though, was rather pronounced.

The giant monstrosity stopped in the middle of picking up yet another car, his body wavered, and collapsed under the effects of gravity. The monster was unconcious long before his head bumped on the road.

As the man calmly watched, the veins jutting out everywhere over the monster's body expanded and collapsed, the breathing steady and deep.

He nodded, covered his head with a black cloak, and prepared himself for apparition.

And that was when a man from the sky and went through the road.

The man's face, if it had been visible, would have been one filled with shock and resignation. Even as he turned toward the crack in the road to see if the person could be helped.

And then a green fist erupted from the road, peppering the civilians with bits of debris. The wizard did what he could, summoning bigger pieces of debris that would have caused serious concussions or more.

And then another monster emerged from from the ground. A green one, with no veins, but a monster just the same.

Even for the wizard's rather miserable luck, this was too much. He just sighed.

He raised his wand, aimed and shot yet another "Stupefy!"

Luckily for the monster, and quite unluckily for the man, Hulk had just lifted a car which intercepted the spell and got blasted apart.

Hulk quickly turned in the direction of the red light, and threw his badly damaged car.

"Arresto momentum!" He couldn't dodge and let others around him get hurt. "Depulso!" he fired at the car.

The cutting curse did its job, and cut the car in two.

He had failed to see behind the car, however.

Hulk's fist came through between the two falling pieces of the car.

Time seemed to slow down, and the wizard only had enough time to cast a wild "Protego!" before the fist connected with the shield. It pushed him several feet away from the monster, but the shield still held. Barely. His cloak flew away, leaving his face visible to the world.

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed through gritted teeth, his wand arm feeling all the strain of stopping such a powerful punch.

Time to get this over with.

He fired a quick succesion of Stupefy's. The monster managed to block many of them by using a car door, but he only had to hit once.

The moment he saw the spell hit true, he shouted "Arresto momentum!" The green monster stopped and immediately collapsed like his veiny brother.

Finally calming himself from the sudden life-or-death incident, he looked around.

Many people had their cellphones out and had been recording the whole fight.

"Salazar Slytherin's Slimy Stinky Slobberworm!" Harry Potter cursed. So much for the peaceful vacation he had planned.

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"I saw the news."

Harry grunted.

"And I saw red coloured lights."

Harry didn't care to deign a response to that statement.

"And I saw your face."

"Yes."

"You know, when you loudly proclaimed that you were going out for a walk, I really should have known."

"Is there a point?" Harry asked, beyond annoyed on the other wizard as he was still trying to think of the possible ramifications of his actions. And what he could do.

'Not a lot,' said the rational part of his mind.

'SHUT UP!' said every other part.

"Not really," said the other wizard.

And continued sipping on the bottle of cheap beer in his hand.

"I... don't know what to do," said Harry with an annoyed sigh.

"Sure you do," said the other wizard without a pause.

Harry glared at him.

"You want to use the fidelius and make me the secret keeper."

He got his confirmation when the annoyed glare did not change in intensity.

"And," he continued, unbothered by the glare, "you have some of the worst memories associated with that spell. And so you are unwilling to use it," he finished.

Harry managed to keep his glare for about two seconds before his shoulders slumped and eyes lowered. "Yes," he said, utter honesty in his voice.

The other wizard merely nodded, but said nothing more.

Harry continued to look morose.

"Fine," he eventually said.

The other wizard just nodded again.

"Also..." the other wizard trailed off, "it would be rather amusing to see my dear sister's face when she completely forgets about you," he chuckled darkly. "When she can't remember her precious Boy-Who-Lived," he added sardonically.

"Indeed," Harry said. "Although I don't fancy a trip to an island, especially in this season."

"Yeah... the weather there is quite bone-freezing, or so I have heard."

The two shared a mutual chuckle.

"So... will you be the secret keeper, Ronald Bilius Weasley?"

"Glad you asked, Harry James Potter, glad you asked."

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Nick Fury was not in a very good mood. No sir, he wasn't. His training as a spy allowed him to keep his emotions to a minimum, and so he was not angry. No. He was just slightly annoyed. Slightly.

Agent Hill was looking at the same footage as him over his shoulder, with nary a response other than the slightest raise of an eyebrow.

There was a reason he kept her around.

The other agents around the helicarrier were busy scanning every frame of every video. There was a disturbing amount of footage available. No way could they suppress the media coverage of the Harlem disaster.

He wanted to personally convey to General Ross just how much of a clusterfuck he had created. He wanted the conversation to have lots of screaming involved. Screaming and the occasional loss of limbs was just what the doctor ordered.

Another fact that was slightly annoying was the mystery of the man with the cloak.

It was a very peculiar sort of mystery.

None of his agents could figure out the identity of said man, even after his cloak was blown away.

The peculiarity originated from the fact that it wasn't a problem of ghost identities and false trails. No. That wouldn't stop his agents.

In fact, the computers had been rather quick to give a name and related documents when they had searched for his face.

The problem was that nothing made sense.

Actually no, he shook his head. After many failed attempts, he had finally thought to read each piece of text on the man individually, to find out what the problem was. And he didn't find any.

But it still didn't make any sense.

He knew the man had schooling in UK, and that he had a very new passport, and he owned various properties, and that he had lived with the Dursley's for the 1st eleven years of his life, and... and then nothing made sense.

He didn't even know why nothing made sense, which only added to his annoyance.

The media was calling him 'The Defender'. In his mind he called the man 'a fucking piece of shit'.

Ok so maybe he was just a little more annoyed than he let on.

He read over the same files for the 27th time before closing the window with a rather forceful click on his mouse.

If Agent Hill noticed, she didn't comment on it.

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"So Harry?" Ron asked cheerfully.

A little too cheerfully.

"Yes?" he responded narrowing his eyes.

"Where are we going from here?"

"I... don't know," Harry replied, shrugging. "Why? Do you have a place in mind?"

"Yeah," Ron nodded eagerly. "I read that schools in Japan allow much more leeway in the dressing department... especially for girls."

"No."

"And they are rather gifted, if you know what I mean."

"No."

"And they have fewer inhibitions to the more carnal activities if you–"

"No."

"And–"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"But why?"

"Hermione," Harry answered succinctly.

"But-" Ron floundered, "We're not even dating! This trip was meant for exploration!"

"And can you imagine the conversation when you tell that to Hermione?"

Ron gained a thoughtful look. Then winced. Then winced some more. Then his hands flew over to his crotch to stop some unknown assault.

"Yeah." Harry nodded. "Thought so."

"Even in my imagination, she's bloody scary. When did I start playing with fire?"

"Oh Hermione is the sweetest. And kindest, second only to Luna," Harry said lightly. "Unless you manage to annoy her."

Ron nodded dumbly, still reeling from the possible idiocy he had been about to commit.

"Anyway... we're going to New Mexico. I've heard of this place called 'Acoma Pueblo,' and want to give it a visit while we're in America."

"Fine by me," Ron shrugged. "Just don't tell Hermione I suggested Japan, will ya?"

Harry smirked.

"You wouldn't!" Ron exclaimed in horror.

Harry smirked some more. This would be excellent blackmail material.

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AN: Okay so some little tweaks here and there in MCU and HP canon. I haven't watched the Fantastic Beast movies, so the American wizarding world just doesn't exist. Deal with it. There's also the fact that there was a distinct lack of wizards in the Battle of New York, so there's that plot hole conveniently filled.

Another minor change, Ron is utterly loyal to Harry. Exceptionally rare, I know. He is rather intelligent, but doesn't care for books.

You'll get to know about Hermione later on.

That's it, I guess. Leave a review if you find it entertaining, or want to add any directions I should take with this story. This is entirely unplanned. Even I don't know what's going to happen later on. That fills me with a bit of excitement, so no, I won't be planning in the future, either.

That said, stay safe folks. Stay home. And enjoy.