"Maybe you could stop acting like a child." Miranda stalks towards Ben.

"Oh, so now I'm a child. Oh, that's great. Thats- that's great. I'm childish, I caused your OCD." He raises up from the couch. "What- what else you got? Did I cause global warming?" He tosses a stack of mail on the coffee table. "Maybe- maybe I killed JFK. That would explain a lot, right?"

"You quit surgery!" Miranda retaliates. "See..." she points back and forth between the two of them. "This was supposed to be different. Than my first marriage. I thought you understood what it means to be a surgeon. Until you dropped it!" She's clearly disappointed in Ben. "And now here I am, once again, married to a man who's waiting to see me at the end of the day, waiting to see what I'm gonna do, when I'm gonna come home-"

"You think I was happy to walk away from a surgical residency?" Ben has heard enough. "You think you were what? A- a convenient excuse to dump it?"

"Well yea!" Miranda answers.

"No, I was a damn star! I'd found what I'd been looking for for decades and I- I walked away from it yes, because I wanted to be here with you! And it was the hardest choice I ever had to make."

Miranda studies him closely then, "You didn't want to leave surgery?"

"No!" Ben barks. "I did not want to leave surgery."

000

"You know this entire time I was worrying that you left surgery because you no longer had a passion for it." Miranda is snuggled close beside Ben.

"When you should've just..." Ben lifts up slightly. "Miranda, you don't know everything."

Miranda adjusts in the bed, awaiting Ben's confessions.

"And most importantly- you have to allow me to feel."

"Feel?" Miranda is confused.

"Yes." Ben feels proud. "You have to allow me, a man, to feel my emotions too sometimes."

"I-" Miranda thinks back. "I let you feel your-" She hesitates again.

"If you let me feel- I mean, actually watch it happen. You will see that my drive for things may change from time to time. But that doesn't mean I've lost all hope for previous things, Miranda." He sits up straight. "Look, aren't you the one who said, if you aren't doing what you love you're wasting your time?"

Miranda furrows her eyes. "That was a quote I found online."

"The point is, I'm not giving up on anything." Ben states. "It's just that- when the fire comes, I allow it to burn. I allow myself to feel it, step inside of it. And hell, sometimes I even 'like to revisit the ashes."

Miranda is confused to say the least.

"I made the decision to come back here because I love you, Miranda. And being there, without you- every day I felt like I was wasting valuable time. I've done so many things. And my journey is not over. But I know I have not been as certain about anything in my life when I say I love you. So I left. And I'm sorry that I made that decision without first making you aware. But I didn't know I needed permission to love you more." Ben confesses.

"Ben Warren, you know that's beside the point."

"No one's gonna go hungry Miranda."

Miranda leans in closer to the man. "Hhhmm huh." She kisses him softly and then moves back out of his personal space. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you." She's looking up at the ceiling now. "And I'm sorry that I didn't allow myself to feel."

Ben is watching her closely.

"I mean- if I had allowed myself to feel, maybe I could've caught it sooner to ease the symptoms."

"Bab-"

"No." Miranda cuts him off. "Let me feel. I- I was scared Ben. I couldn't stand to think about a life without surgery so this-" she looks at her hands. "this could not be the determining factor. So, I ran. Like you always say. Yes, I...ran. Away from my feelings, because I was afraid to face them. I ran away from you. And I was ready to push you away because of my own fears. My own feelings." Miranda's voice cracks. "Because I didn't want to- I don't want to imagine your life without surgery either. Because if I can't do it anymore-" She looks at her hands again. "How am I supposed to even close handily experience the things that I love?"

Ben's eyes are sad and beautiful as he looks at Miranda.

"Surgery is my thing." Miranda looks into his eyes. "It's my drive. The- the thing that keeps me going. And without it in- in some form- any form at all, I'm afraid that even in old age, I'll feel as if I'm wasting time."

Author's note: Did you like it or did you love it? Please leave reviews. They fuel me. Thank you. Also, if you would like for me to watch a show and then write for your OTP, please comment the title of the show and your OTP and I will consider writing a fic dedicated to you. Until next time!