Fate Don't Know You

Lucy Litt is only a few hours old when Harvey and Donna first start talking about babies. Their babies.

Harvey opens up more than he has ever before and Donna sheds a few tears when she admits that she never saw herself having kids with anyone other than her now-husband, but that she has also given up on becoming a mother a long time ago.

They don't need to be educated on the topic to know that Donna's time is running out.

With the impending move to the other side of the country, they pause the subject for a few weeks, agreeing to give it another go when they have settled.

They are in unspoken agreement that their new house will have at least three bedrooms, be it for guests or a more full-time inhabitant, as well as a garden "for the dog," as Donna joked one day. It doesn't take long for them to find the perfect home: a 4-bedroom in Southeast Bellevue at the end of a cul-de-sac. Their previous view of a concrete jungle gets replaced with windows overlooking Lake Sammamish on one side and an actual forest on the other. It is a change, but one they welcome gladly.

Three months in they have found a rhythm for themselves. They are having coffee on the first-floor deck every morning and take countless evening strolls either at the lakefront or Weowna Park Trails. After spending decades under artificial lights and behind closed windows, both enjoy the uninterrupted nature that Washington State offers.

It is on one of these walks that they bring up the topic of children again. Seattle is still new but it already feels like home. They have more time than they know what to do with and the house, while beautiful, feels a bit empty.

"I can't help but feel that this is all my fault," Harvey confesses quietly. "If I had pulled my head out of my ass sooner, we could have had a whole litter of babies already."

Donna gives his hand a tight squeeze before lifting their linked hands to place a kiss on his fingers.

"This is no one's fault, Harvey. Everything turned out the way it was supposed to. It wasn't just you who needed more time to figure it all out."

They've wasted so much valuable time, and yes, she did blame him for a long time in the past. But now she means it when she says it was down to both of them. If maybe she had tried to say something sooner, had stopped denying her love for him throughout the years and maybe, just maybe, if she had ignored her rule for him that morning in the diner.

"The life we were living wasn't suitable for children. I love New York but it's not a place to raise kids. I wouldn't even expect a dog to put up with that," Donna continues.

"And if we can't -?" Harvey swallows, the words getting stuck in his throat.

"Then we can't." A single tear finds its way down her cheek and she tries to quickly wipe it away before her husband notices. She has to be strong for him. Even if it means disregarding her own feelings.

"Donna -" The last thing Harvey wants is to make his wife cry.

He stops walking and tugs on Donna's hand to make her stop as well. Turning them towards the lake, he positions himself behind her and pulls her back to his front. His other hand finds hers and he places them both over her stomach, thumbs softly stroking back and forth over her shirt.

How is he supposed to find the words to make this all better? To show her that his life goal is to make her dreams come true?

"All I need is you," Donna suddenly says, seemingly reading his mind again. "Everything else would just be the cherry on top of an already wonderful life."

"Don't you mean, the strawberry on top?" Harvey's lips find her neck and he grins before placing a kiss on her exposed skin.

"You really do have a one-track mind." Donna laughs and turns around in his arms. Getting up on her tiptoes, she places a deep kiss on his lips.

"You know, practice makes perfect."

Resting her head on Harvey's chest, Donna puts her arms around his waist, just enjoying being close to him.

"What if we just stop practicing?" She doesn't dare look him in the eyes, but she can feel him stop breathing.

"And leave it up to fate?" he checks with her.

"If it's meant to be, it will happen."

Harvey softly pulls her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "Like we were meant to be?"

A slow grin finds its way to her lips. "We can't wait for 13 years, though."

"It was twelve and a half," Harvey argues with a twinkle in his eyes. He pecks Donna's lips, both fully smiling when they separate again. "So, we are really doing this?"

"We are really doing this," Donna confirms. She does her best to keep her excitement at bay. There are so many uncertainties, so many things that can go wrong. But there is also hope. And with Harvey by her side, she knows that she can get through anything.

They stand like this until the sun starts to set over the lake. Just holding each other, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I hope you know," Harvey breaks the silence after a while, "that you're all I need, too." He drops a kiss on the top of her head. "And you have to promise me that you're not going to force this or lose yourself in it."

"Harvey -" Donna feels her stomach drop. "I wouldn't -"

"You have to promise me." His voice is clouded with unshed tears. "Nothing, absolutely nothing is worth losing us over."

She wants to reassure him that nothing will ever change between them, but the words get stuck in her throat. She had dreamed about being a mother and Harvey was born to be a father, so she has to do everything in her power to make him one. No matter the cost. And yet, when she looks up in her husband's watery eyes, all she can see is his unwavering love and trust for her.

"I promise."

~oOo~

You're my fire

That much is true

You're the one thing I will not lose

~oOo~

That evening, Donna puts a reminder in her phone to call her doctor in the morning for some tests and to have her IUD taken out. No need to even start getting anyone's hopes up if it is already too late, she thinks.

And then she and Harvey make love. They've had sex many times before and they have christened almost every room in the house, but this time feels different to them. It is slow and gentle and they would both later say that they have never felt this close before in their lives.

While they know that this time won't result in a pregnancy, their love for each other and the decision they made that afternoon takes over their minds and bodies, just as it will the next few weeks.

Donna takes her promise to Harvey to heart, and apart from taking her prenatal vitamins, she decides not to think too much about it all in the first few months. Instead of tracking her cycle or taking her temperature every morning, she just tries to have fun with her husband.

Some days, she surprises him with a quicky in the copy room or Harvey drives them to a local makeout spot and they do it in the car. On those raw and sexy days, the two of them acted like giggling teenagers afterward and Mike even calls them out on it once. Other days it is romantic and passionate on the candlelit deck or at night in their marital bed.

The one constant in their coupling is the love between them. Love, that even eleven months of unsuccessful attempts can't take away.

Love, that can't fix what she is feeling.

~oOo~

I'll turn the tide

Pull down the moon

Run rivers dry

Battle fate for you

~oOo~

"I think I want to stop trying." There, she said it. And she doesn't even cry.

Rachel's eyes widen in disbelief.

With Harvey and Mike at a Yankees vs. Mariners game, Donna invited her best friend over for some wine, sushi, and girl talk. Having finished their meal, the two women are now sitting on the couch, the second bottle of Chardonnay almost empty.

"Donna, no." The younger woman takes her friend's hands into her own. "Don't say that. It hasn't even been a year yet."

Donna leans back into the cushions, pulling her hands out of Rachel's grip and takes her wine glass from the coffee table.

"I just can't hide my disappointment from Harvey any longer." She takes a big gulp and clings herself to her glass. "I promised that I wouldn't let it get to me, and I can't pretend that it doesn't."

"I thought you weren't even actively trying."

Donna lets out a dry laugh.

"Since we started talking about it, I don't think there's been a day we haven't had sex. Often more than once. We may not say it out loud, but we are actively trying."

"These things take time." Rachel gives Donna a reassuring smile.

"I know that, but my time is running out." Donna can't hold back the tears any longer. "I'm on the wrong side of 40 and every month it gets even more unlikely that it will happen for us."

Rachel scoots over to Donna's side of the couch and pulls her friend into a tight hug. Her heart is breaking for her older friend. She and Mike are still young and out to make a name for themselves. Donna and Harvey have achieved all that already and the only thing missing from their happily ever after is a family of their own. It has only been a couple of months and many couples half their age need longer to conceive, although judging by how distraught Donna is, it has already been a couple of months too long.

Donna's sobs don't fade for a long time, but when her breathing slows down and her eyes get heavy, Rachel pulls away from her friend and carefully places Donna's head on the armrest instead. She grabs one of the blankets from the back of the couch and covers the sleeping redhead with it.

Hoping that Donna will rest for a while, Rachel first clears away the wine bottles and then makes her way out on the deck, dialing her husband's phone number the second she pulls the sliding door close behind herself.

~oOo~

A rich man's destiny

She has no clue

You're the one thing I will not lose

~oOo~

When Harvey comes home that night, Donna is still fast asleep on the couch. He thanks Rachel for her earlier call with a kiss on the cheek and he waves her and Mike goodbye as they pull out of the driveway.

Not wanting to wake his wife, but also knowing how stiff her neck will get if she stays in this position any longer, Harvey carefully picks her up and carries her into their bedroom. Thankful that she is already in lounge clothes, he just pulls the comforter over her and draws the curtains closed.

"Harvey?"

Turning back towards the bed, Harvey finds Donna still with her eyes closed, her slow breathing indicating that she is also fast asleep. Harvey never told her, but his wife tends to talk in her sleep when she had a bit too much to drink. Usually, it's about things that happened at work, her thoughts on a TV show they watched before bed or just loving words for him. Today, it is neither of those things.

"I'm so sorry I failed you."

Harvey doesn't need to hear more, Rachel had told him what was on Donna's mind today. He kneels down next to her and softly strokes her cheek.

"Shhh," he quietly shushes, hoping it will help her settle down. "I love you, Donna. Nothing will ever change that."

With a kiss on her forehead, he gets up again and once he is certain that Donna is fine by herself for a few minutes, he quickly leaves their bedroom for his study. Returning with his laptop, he gets comfortable on his side of the bed, opening the website he and Mike had looked at earlier.

Once she wakes up again, Donna will be in for a surprise. One that hopefully will make her just as excited as it does him.

~oOo~

I'm gonna make you feel my love

Leave you no room for doubt

No other hope for me

You're my destiny

Won't go nowhere without you

~oOo~

Waking up the next morning, Donna is surprised to not have Harvey by her side. She is always the first to wake and in the last few months, they had a daily scheduled morning meeting.

Feeling the mattress next to her, she is even more surprised to see that it has gotten cold as well. Harvey never leaves the bed early on a Sunday. Remembering snippets of her conversation with Rachel last night, she becomes light-headed. Did her friend tell on her?

Swinging her legs out of bed, Donna's eyes fall on her folded yoga outfit on their bedroom bench. She knows that she wasn't the one to leave them there as she hasn't done any Yoga in weeks. Sitting still for a moment she tries to hear Harvey move around the house but everything is quiet.

She makes her way into the bathroom and takes a step back when she sees her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes are bloodshot and swollen and her face is even paler than normal. It also looks like she lost some weight since the last time she really looked at herself. The baby-making stress has caught up to her after all. Tears spring to her eyes and she quickly jumps into her shower, scared that Harvey will find her like this.

The warm water feels good on her aching back, although it does nothing for her developing headache. Donna stays under the spray way longer than she intends too, but leaving the shower means facing reality and she wants to avoid that for as long as possible.

Just as she pulls herself together enough to shut off the water and wrap herself into a bathrobe, Harvey enters the bathroom, two steaming mugs in his hands. The big smile on his face puts her off balance. Maybe Rachel didn't tell him anything after all.

"I thought you might like some coffee this morning. Change it up a bit from that herbal tea you were having recently."

"Thanks." Donna forces a smile on her face, takes one of the mugs from him and has a small sip. The warm liquid heating her up from the inside immediately. "This is good," she comments with an honest smile now.

"You taught me well." He gives her a quick kiss and leaves for their bedroom again. "You need to hurry," he yells over his shoulder, "Rachel is waiting outside to take you to your yoga class."

"What?" Donna mouths quietly as she looks after her husband in surprise. The last thing she feels like is moving, but she secretly missed her yoga sessions despite the fact that her bedroom activities with Harvey kept her busy and exercised enough.

She gets dressed, grabs a banana for the way and meets Rachel outside. Harvey is waving from the front door as her friend drives them off.

Although Donna didn't feel like it, she is glad that Harvey and Rachel made her take the class. For one hour, she only has to concentrate on herself, her body and her breathing. All thoughts about her age, getting pregnant or babies are paused and she feels refreshed and actually happy when she and Rachel leave the studio together.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow. Have fun this afternoon." Rachel pulls her into a hug and then jogs to her car.

Donna looks at her in bewilderment.

"Rachel," she calls after her friend, "you are my ride."

"No, I'm not." Rachel looks past Donna's shoulder at someone before getting in her car.

Donna doesn't need to turn around to know who is standing behind her. The scent of sandalwood, bergamot, and home always giving him away.

"Mrs. Specter," Harvey greets her, as his hands find her hips.

"Mr. Specter." Donna turns around in his arms and drops a kiss on his lips. "What are you doing here?"

"I've got a surprise for you." His eyes twinkle and his smile breaks out into full Cheshire Cat. "We are going on an outing."

Donna looks down at her tight leggings and the sweater she had pulled over her sports bra. "I don't think I'm dressed appropriately for anything other than sitting on the floor."

"Good thing that's what we're doing then." He pulls at her hand and leads her towards his dark gray Lexus LC. While it didn't make any sense to keep their own cars in New York, as soon as they knew that their new house has enough space, Harvey went out and got each of them a sensible car for the city as well as this mid-life crisis car as Donna tends to call it.

They take the I-405 down towards South Bellevue and Donna assumes that Harvey will take her home first to change after all. That is until he takes an exit that is miles away from their house.

Donna explored the city well enough to know that apart from a movie theater and a mall, there isn't much around this area. Where is her husband taking her?

"If your idea of an outing is a trip to Red Robin, I will divorce you, Harvey Specter."

"You won't divorce me and I'm not taking you to Red Robin," he laughs at her antics. "Right now," he adds.

"What?"

"Or would you prefer Panda Express?"

"Harvey!"

"Just have a little patience, will you?" He takes her hand into his, bringing it up to his mouth and placing a kiss on her palm. "Just trust me."

Of course, he has to ask the one thing of her that she could never refuse him.

"You know I do."

"Even when I'm being super mysterious and extremely sexy?"

"No one said anything about you being sexy."

"I think we both know how sexy I am." He gives her a smoldering side-eyed look.

"You're an idiot." Donna laughs out loud for the first time in days. He is an idiot, but he is her idiot and she couldn't love him more if she tried.

Harvey's smile only widens when he takes in his wife's happy face. Mission accomplished.

"And for the record, you love Red Robin," Harvey smirks at her.

"I kinda do," Donna impishly admits.

She only notices that Harvey has pulled into a driveway when he stops the car. Leaning forward, she looks through the window, trying to identify the house they parked at. She has never been here before and she is certain that none of their acquaintances live in this area.

"Whose house is this?" Donna turns towards her husband.

"No one you would know," Harvey casually replies.

"You are not thinking of moving, are you? I love our home."

"Always so impatient," he laughs about his wife. "Why can't you just sit tight and wait to be surprised for once?"

"Because you're not very good at surprises."

"The last time I surprised you, we got married an hour later. I think that one turned out quite well."

"Meh," Donna pretends to weigh up the pros and cons of that decision. "The jury is still out on that one, I think."

Harvey puts on his most persuasive face. "Time to sway them with my closing argument then."

He grins at her, gets out of the car and walks over to the passenger side to help Donna out. Taking her hand, he leads her to the front door and rings the bell.

"Harvey," Donna tugs at his hand, "I'm not dressed appropriately to meet new people." She quickly pulls the hairband out of her ponytail and shakes her head to loosen up her curls.

"You look beautiful." Harvey leans in for a kiss and for a short moment, Donna forgets her irritation with him.

Just as Harvey pulls back again, the door in front of them opens.

"Hi, you must be Donna and Harvey. I'm Katie," a blonde woman, roughly their own age, greets them. She is dressed in yoga pants and an oversized teeshirt herself, which makes Donna feel more comfortable immediately, but it didn't help her figure out why they were here.

Harvey shakes the woman's hand and Donna follows suit, trying to appear as confident in the introduction as her husband is.

"Come on through," Katie guides them into the house. "With the nice weather we have today, everyone is out back in the garden."

"Everyone?" Donna mouths to Harvey when Katie has turned her back on them. He just motions a zipping movement over his lips and throws the invisible keys away.

Donna huffs in irritation and lets go of Harvey's hand. If there is one thing Donna hates, it's being caught off guard. She quickens her step and follows Katie out into the garden, leaving Harvey standing in the patio door.

It takes her a moment to see who Katie meant with 'everyone' and the sight makes her stop in her tracks. She slowly turns back to her husband who is leaning against the doorframe with a sly smile on his face.

"Really?" she asks him with her eyes.

"Really," he replies in the same way.

Harvey motioned for her to step closer to the low fenced-in area of the garden and he watched as she dropped down to her knees outside of it. Not able to stay away any longer himself, he gets down on the grass next to her.

"Told you, you would be sitting on the floor". Harvey takes in Donna's awestruck face.

"Puppies." Donna's eyes sparkle at her husband. "They are puppies."

"Nothing gets past you," he jokes.

Donna hits his arm in jest before looking up to Katie. "Can I go in?"

"Absolutely." Katie opens the gate and Donna and Harvey carefully make their way into the puppy run.

Within seconds, all eight Golden Retriever pups crash into them. Donna clings to Harvey to not get taken down and laughs like she hasn't laughed in months. Her eyes sparkle like a lake on a summer day as sits down on the grass again. The dogs keep on attacking her, climbing over her legs and jumping up to give her kisses.

Katie walks over to fill their bowls with food and to save Donna from the fluffy assault. At the sound of the kibbles hitting the ceramic, the puppies let go of Donna and bolt towards the other side of the pen. One pup, who got comfortable on Donna's crossed legs, needs help to get off again. Donna picks it up, pulls it close to her chest for a cuddle and then sits it on the grass again. With unexpected longing, she looks after the little one as it leaps towards its siblings.

"Good surprise?" Harvey gets down next to Donna.

"The best surprise," she replies, kissing him. "But -"

"No buts," Harvey stops her. He doesn't want her to overthink or find excuses. "Do you want this?"

"You know I do."

"That's all that matters then."

"How are we going to make it work? We don't have 14 hours days any longer, but we still have jobs."

"I already talked to Mike and Rachel and they agreed that we can work from home a lot more. While he or she is still small, we can take them to the office and Golden Retrievers are known for being able to stay home alone."

"You thought a lot about this."

"Donna," Harvey takes her hands, his face as serious as the moment he asked her to marry him, "all I want is for you to be happy." He squeezes her hands tight. "If life would have been different, you would have taken time off anyway. This is no different."

"A dog isn't a baby."

"No, but they require just as much love, patience, and sacrifice. I want our family to start now."

"This is all so sudden."

"Donna, we've talked about this for a while."

"We never talked about it. I mentioned it in passing. Once."

"And a garden for the dog," he quotes Donna back to herself.

"You remember."

"I remember everything you said."

"Harvey, we have absolutely no experience with pets."

"We raised Mike, didn't we?"

"He might have peed in Louis' plants, but he's still a human."

"Have you seen him eat?" He points towards the puppies who get more food on the ground than into their tummies. "No difference."

"Harvey!" Donna giggles.

"We are a team, Donna. We have always been a team. And there is nothing we can't get through together." He doesn't need to elaborate for her to know that he means more than raising a puppy.

"So, we are really doing this?"

"We are really doing this," Harvey confirmes.

The puppies have finished their lunch now and Katie makes her way over to Donna and Harvey.

"Judging by the smiles on your faces, I would say that you are both still interested."

"We are," Donna confirms.

"I still have two boys and two girls available. Do you have a preference?"

Donna and Harvey share a quick look and then shake their heads.

"Can we just play with them for a while and see which one we think is a good fit?"

"Absolutely. The two boys are the ones with the blue and turquoise ribbon around their necks and the girls are in yellow and orange."

Donna quickly makes out the little female dog with the orange ribbon. She's the one who was sitting on her lap earlier. Currently, she is dragging a pillow into a corner, her tail wagging as she walks backward until her butt hits the fence. Happy with the position the pillow is in, she jumps on it and lies down.

Donna laughs at her behavior. "This one is just like you," she addresses her husband. "Always ready for a nap after lunch."

"Funny," Harvey replies, "I was just thinking how much she is like you. Do you see how she keeps an eye on everyone else?"

On the opposite side of the run, two of the boys are getting into a fight over one of the balls and the puppy they have been watching runs over to intervene.

"Told you," Harvey laughs.

The little girl jumps in between the boys, growls and barks at them and then nudges the tiny basketball away with her nose.

Harvey almost falls over from laughing so hard. "She's clearly the real boss," he jokes.

The puppy confidently prances over to them, the soft basketball in between her teeth. When she has reached them, she drops the ball by Harvey's feet and then steps on his legs, her nose going up until it bumps against his jaw.

No words are needed between the newlyweds. This was their dog.

"Seems like someone already knows who you should choose," Katie says.

Harvey plays around with the orange ribbon around the dog's neck. It strongly reminds him of Donna's hair. Another indication that this one is meant to be theirs.

"What can you tell us about her?" he asks the breeder.

"She's the boss, as you just saw. She knows exactly what she wants, but she always makes sure everyone else is taken care of first. She likes her alone time just as much as she like being the center of attention. She can be a bit sassy, but truly has a heart of gold."

"Just like you," Harvey mouths to his wife. Donna just rolls her eyes as a reply.

"What's her name?"

"We never give them final names, as we don't want to confuse them if their new owners decide to change them. But this is our F-litter for this year and we call her 'Fate'."

Tears spring into Donna's eyes and she pulls the puppy from Harvey's lap. Clutching their girl close to her chest, she feels happier than she has in a long time.

"When can we take her home?" Donna asks, eager to become a family of three.

"They are seven and a half weeks now. We don't give them away before they are eight weeks. So if you want, you can come back next Saturday and take her with you."

Donna holds the puppy out in front of her, the tiny ball of fur looking at her in anticipation.

"Would you like that?" she asks the dog. "Would you like to come home with us?"

"You know she can't speak, right?" Harvey grins at his girls.

"But she can understand us. I know she can."

"If she's anything like her mom, she's got us already figured out." Harvey suddenly drops his head in his hands. "What was I thinking? Now I have two women who boss me around."

"And you wouldn't have it any other way."

"I really wouldn't." Harvey smiles at her.

They play with Fate and her siblings for another hour and then tearfully say goodbye - for now.

On their way back to the house, they stop first at Petco and then Red Robin just like Harvey promised. Their credit cards get a good workout as Donna spends a month's salary on anything and everything their new family member could need.

The following week, Donna is poring over dog training books with an intensity that reminded Harvey of Mike and his early cases at Pearson Hardman. Late nights, early mornings, Harvey hardly gets to spend any time with his wife at all.

He wanted to take her mind off a baby, wanted to give her a distraction and a new purpose, but he didn't expect her to get so caught up in their new furry family addition that she forgot to eat or sleep.

On Friday night, when Donna first falls asleep on the sofa in the middle of their conversation and then can't bring herself to finish his Sicilian Pasta when they sit at the silent dinner table, Harvey is fed up.

"Bed, now!" Harvey never had to be this strict with his wife before.

"Harvey, I really don't think I'm up to -"

"To sleep," he clarifies.

"Oh."

The look on Donna's face disappears as quickly as it had shown up. Harvey isn't sure if it was disappointment or relief that he saw in her eyes and he decides not to continue thinking about it. Instead, he pulls her up from her chair and leads her into their bedroom.

After he tucked her in tightly, he leans in for a kiss. Donna turns her head and instead of her mouth, his lips find her tear-stained cheek. Harvey pulls back in shock.

"Donna?"

Instead of an answer, she just closes her eyes and rolls over on her side.

Harvey presses the heels of his hand against his eyes, hoping it will keep the tears at bay. Never has she acted like this. With a deep breath, he turns the bedside lamp off and clouds the room in darkness before making his way to the door.

"Harvey?" Donna's voice makes him stop in his tracks. "I think I've started menopause."

~oOo~

Let's burn the pages

We'll start anew

~oOo~

Harvey is back by her side in two strides and he pulls her up and into his lap in one move.

The sobs leaving her, make his own body shake in sync.

"Shhh, it's gonna be okay," Harvey tries to soothe his wife. He slowly rocks her back and forth, pulling her head into the crook of his neck.

He holds her for a long time until all her fears and frustrations of the past year have come out. In between tears, she tells him all about the steps she took to increase her fertility, the heartbreak she lived through every time her period came and the obligation she felt to keep trying with him daily.

"And now you say it's too late. Why would you think that?" Harvey asks when she is all out of tears.

"I'm Donna. I know."

"So you haven't been tested?"

"Harvey!"

The anger in her voice makes him pull back from her. Donna has never raised her voice at him, but tonight seems to be a first for many things.

"No one knows my body better than I do."

"I didn't mean to -"

"I have hot flushes and my breasts are tender. I have constant headaches, feel dizzy and can't concentrate. I'm bloated and have no appetite." She is practically yelling at him now.

"That doesn't mean -"

"I haven't had a regular period in two months," she interrupts him again. "I'm 43, and I'm telling you, it's over!" Her anger gives way to more tears. "This is all my fault."

"If this is anyone's fault, Donna, it's mine. I wasn't ready and it cost us the chance of having a family." His heart breaks for his wife and the burden she took on herself. How could he ever let it come to this? How could he not see her taken on the blame?

"If I was younger -"

"There is no guarantee that it would have changed anything." He is having a hard time not raining his voice himself now. "Maybe it's me. Despite all the women I've… been with…" He doesn't need to finish the sentence. "Maybe it's me." His voice breaks at the end. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat. "If it doesn't happen naturally, there are other options as well," he offers, lifting her chin with his finger.

"I really wanted to give you your own family." Donna tries to look away, but he holds her face still.

"You are my family. You have been my family for over 15 years now. I'm not with you because I thought you would give me children. I'm with you because I love you and I have never, and will never, love anyone else. And if the only child we will ever have is furry and four-legged then so be it. All I ever need is you. I really thought you knew that."

"I do know that." She gives him a soft smile, wiping her eyes dry.

Harvey gently places a kiss against her forehead. "And don't you forget that. Ever."

He lies them both down on the bed again and Donna shimmies down Harvey's body until her head rests comfortably on his chest. Their clasped hands find a place on his stomach and her eyes get too heavy to stay open any longer.

"Harvey," Donna says his name, her voice hoarse and heavy with exhaustion from all the crying, "please don't let me become one of those people who treat their dog like a baby, okay?"

Harvey chuckles so hard that the bed is moving. "I won't let that happen."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

They lie quietly until Donna's breathing evens out. Harvey knows that she needs the rest but he can't let her fall asleep before he tells her something.

"Donna?"

"Mhhm?"

"I love you. And nothing will ever change that."

"Love you too," she whispers back.

Donna's head moves slightly and Harvey feels a kiss being pressed against his shirt. Not a minute later, she is fast asleep.

Harvey continues to hold her for the rest of the night. The guilt of not seeing the burden his wife carried around, eating him up from the inside. How could he not see the measures she secretly took to enhance their chance of conception? How disappointed got the better of her, month after month after month? How sex wasn't a manifestation of their love but a means to an end?

Harvey doesn't sleep a wink that night.

~oOo~

The next morning brings a cloudy sky and rain, which did nothing to improve Harvey's mood. They were scheduled to pick up Fate from the breeder but Harvey wasn't sure any longer if bringing in the puppy was the right step. Was Donna in the right frame of mind to substitute a child with a dog right now? Shouldn't they fix their problems first before they bring someone in who will fully depend on them? He wanted her to be distracted, to have someone to look after and to take her mind off of trying. But now that a pregnancy most likely won't happen, was this just disregarding all her feelings and the deeper issue they are facing?

His musings get interrupted by his wife reaching out to him. During the night, she had moved to her own side of the bed but just like every morning, she is making sure that he is still beside her.

Turning towards her, Harvey is surprised to see a wide smile on her face, her eyes sparkling. She looks like a whole new woman. Last night, seemingly forgotten.

"Do you know what day it is?" The love and trust she has for him visible in her eyes.

"Saturday?" Harvey cheekily replies, knowing how much Donna is going to hate that he is baiting her.

"Which Saturday?"

"Saturday, the 15th?"

"Harvey…" Donna practically growls.

"Okay, okay. You tell me what day it is."

"It's puppy day." Harvey could swear that her eyes are sparkling even more than they were on their wedding day.

"Someone is excited." He decides to not question her change in mood and instead cautiously asks her, "Are you ready to bring her home?"

"I will have to be. There is no turning back now." Donna gives him a concerned look. "You are not having second thoughts, are you?"

He should have been better prepared for her reading his face.

"I just… I just don't want to force this if it's not the right time. Maybe we should talk about what happened last night first."

Donna sits up and throws him a murderous glare.

"I thought the whole reason for getting a dog was so that I am distracted. Now you're saying we shouldn't get a dog because it would distract me?"

"That's not what I said." He defends himself, sitting up as well.

"But it's what you meant."

"Donna -"

"You think just because hormones are wreaking havoc in my body that I can't think clearly anymore? That I can't decide for myself what I'm ready for and what I'm not?"

"I just want you to be sure that this is the right step for us. Maybe we should wait a few months, get you checked out first. I don't want you caring for a living being to make the yearning and heartache even bigger."

"So you rather I never feel like someone's mom? You want me to always be empty and a failure?"

"What?" Harvey looks at her in shock. "No! How did you get that from what I just said?"

Donna's eyes fill with tears again but when Harvey wants to reach out to her, she just slaps his hand away. She gets up with a groan and turns around to give her husband one last furious look.

"I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to pick up my new puppy. You can come or you can stay here, I don't care."

She slams the bathroom door shut and Harvey looks after his wife with concern in his eyes. Thinking of only one thing to do, he takes his phone from the nightstand and starts googling menopause and mood swings. From what he's reading, they will both be in for a fun ride in the coming years.

~oOo~

At the breakfast table, Donna is back to her cheery and excited self and Harvey sticks to the topic of work to avoid setting her off again.

When he helps her into her coat later, she even thanks him with a kiss, all thoughts of their earlier fight seemingly pushed aside.

The drive to the breeder is a quiet one, both newlyweds lost in their own thoughts. When they arrive at the house, Harvey turns off the engine but neither one makes a move to leave the car.

Donna pulls her left leg up on the seat and turns to Harvey.

"I want to apologize," she breaks the silence.

Harvey takes one of her hands in his and places a gentle kiss on her palm.

"If someone has to apologize, it's me. I should trust that you know best what we need right now."

"Harvey, all I need is you."

"And a puppy," he offers with a smile.

"No," Donna responds. "Just you. You told me yesterday, but I never said it back to you. Baby or no baby, puppy or no puppy. It all means nothing without you."

Harvey leans over to place a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Are you ready to start our family?" Harvey watches as Donna's eyes begin to glow again.

"I was born ready."

~oOo~

Fate don't know you like I do

~oOo~

Katie greets them with a big smile and five dogs jumping up and down around her.

"Give me a minute to lock these little rascals away and to get us all a drink."

She shows them the way to the living room and Donna and Harvey take a seat on the couch. The mother dog had followed them and is now laying on Donna's feet.

Katie returns with three glasses of water and she lets out a quiet giggle when she sees her dog with the Specters.

"I see Sage has made herself comfortable."

Donna smiles and leans down to scratch the dog's ears.

"It's like she knew my feet were cold," Donna laughs.

"Dogs are extremely intuitive as you will soon learn," their host explains. "They don't just pick up on your moods but can also sense danger or even illnesses."

"As if one Donna Paulsen wasn't enough," Harvey mumbles under his breath.

Donna shoves her elbow into his side and Katie starts laughing. She then explains everything they might need to know about their newest family member. What to feed her, how best to house train her, the vaccinations she needs in the coming years, activities she might like and she also urges them to attend puppy training school as soon as possible.

"She is a little troublemaker now, but Golden Retrievers are highly cooperative and if you take her training seriously, you shouldn't have any problems with her in the future."

Katie leaves them alone again to get Fate, and Donna is getting restless in her seat. Sage gets up from the floor and lays her snout on Donna's bouncing legs.

"Do you think she will miss her babies?" Donna asks Harvey while scratching the dog's ears again.

"I read somewhere that some mother dogs are actually glad to be relieved of their duties. But I'm sure we can come and visit one day. Maybe have a puppy meetup with the whole litter," Harvey suggests.

Donna pulls his head towards her to give him a kiss. "Who would have ever thought that Harvey Specter would one day set up playdates for his fur baby?"

"You bring out the softie in me," he jokes back.

"You have always been a softie, you just saved it all up for me."

Their next kiss gets interrupted when a tiny ball of fluff jumps first on Harvey's lap and then up against Donna's chest.

Donna lets out a hissing sound in pain and puts a protective arm over her breasts at the same time that Sage lets out a deafening bark to put the puppy into her place.

The pup freezes and Harvey quickly pulls her away from Donna and into his arms. With wide eyes, he looks first at his wife and then the breeder.

"What did just happen?"

"I am so sorry," Katie apologizes. "I should have known that Sage would react like this. When I was pregnant, she was extremely protective of me too."

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

Donna and Harvey ask simultaneously and look at Katie as if she has lost her mind.

"I'm not pregnant," Donna clarifies the situation.

"Oh." Katie looks honestly surprised. "Are you sure?"

"Why would you think she's pregnant?" Harvey asks, still stunned.

"For one, Sage stuck to you from the moment you walked in. You've got cold feet, when Fate jumped against you, it looked like your breasts seem to be tender and there is just this glow around you. I already thought so last week, but now the dog seems to have confirmed it for me."

"The dog thinks Donna is pregnant?" Harvey looks at her in disbelief.

"Well, yes," Katie confirms as if fortune telling dogs is the most normal thing in the world. "I told you earlier that dogs can detect vibes and sicknesses, and it is believed that they can also detect pregnancies in women. Sage often seemed to know before I did."

"Well, she is wrong this time," Donna finally breaks her silence, her voice void of any emotion. "We can't have any children."

Harvey checks on her with a quick look but he can't see any tears this time. He still wants to get them out of here as soon as possible though.

"I'm so sorry," Katie apologizes again, obviously flustered. "I shouldn't have assumed."

"It's alright," Harvey reassures her. "You couldn't have known."

They quickly wrap up after that and an awkward goodbye later, Harvey, Donna, and Fate are on their way back to their house.

Fate is snuggled up on Donna's lap while her new owner is absentmindedly running her fingers through the dog's fur.

As he pulls onto their street, Harvey clears his throat and utters the words that have been playing over and over in his head for the last twenty minutes.

"Do you think it could be true?"

"What?" Donna reprimands her husband. "That dogs are psychics?"

"Pregnancy and perimenopause symptoms are almost identical," Harvey defends himself. "Wouldn't it be better to know for sure and not just assume?"

"Harvey, why can't you just let it go?" Donna huffs.

"Because it's eating you alive!" he suddenly blows up. "Do you think you are the only one who can read their spouse? Yes, I was too caught up in my own hopes and dreams to see it sooner, but I can see it now. This is killing you and it is killing me."

"What do you want me to do? Get a written statement from my doctor that my reproductive parts resemble a raisin now?" The look she is giving him is downright murderous.

"No," Harvey's voice takes on a stern tone that Donna hasn't heard from him in years. A tone that he has only used on her a handful of times and not once since they got married. "I want you to stop giving up and doubting yourself. I want you to take our girl, show her her new home and wait for me to come back."

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to buy a goddamn pregnancy test so we know once and for all."

~oOo~

Harvey returns less than an hour later. A brown paper bag in one hand and two pizza boxes from Briatore in the other. Donna is getting up from the floor by Fate's dog bed, where the puppy is lying fast asleep.

"I figured we needed comfort food, one way or the other."

"Harvey…" Donna cautiously eyes the paper bag as if it would jump at her any second.

"Listen to me." Harvey puts his purchases on the kitchen counter and takes his wife's face into both of his hands. "You are young, you are fit and your biological age is probably 21."

"It's all the yoga." Donna pulls her lips into a smile but her eyes stay wary.

"I am not doing this to hurt you. I don't want to get your hopes up or pressure you. I just don't want you to live in limbo any longer."

"I know." Donna gets up on her tiptoes and gives Harvey a kiss. "And I am sorry for being a bitch these last few days. I don't know what is wrong with me lately."

Harvey tilts his head and gives her a knowing look that she responds to with an eye-roll.

"I talked to the pharmacist and while a positive pregnancy test can mean you have started menopause, the fact that you haven't had a regular period in two months is a good guidance tool. If you are pregnant, your hCG levels will be so high that the test should tell you that you conceived 2-3 weeks ago. If it shows less, it's better not to get your hopes up just yet, okay?"

Donna presses her eyes shut and takes a deep breath.

"Okay."

They share another long kiss before Donna grabs the bag and disappears into the downstairs bathroom.

As if she had sensed that her new mother has left the room, Fate shoots up from her bed and toddles over to Harvey.

"Did you come for me or for the pizza, little one?"

Fate just barks in response. Picking her up, Harvey carries her over to the couch and sits down with her on his lap.

"You and I need to have a word before your mama comes back."

The puppy wags its tail back and forth, looking up at him in full concentration.

"The next few minutes will change our lives forever and no matter the outcome, Donna needs our love and support. Can you do that? Can you be there for her? Give her lots of kisses and cuddles?"

Fate reaches her nose up, bumping it to Harvey's, and he takes it as a sign of confirmation.

"Good girl."

The bathroom door opens again and Harvey sets the puppy back down on the floor. She races over to Donna as fast as her tiny, unsteady legs can carry her and sticks to her side when Donna stops on the threshold.

Harvey watches on as tears stream down his wife's face but he can't make himself get up. His body frozen in place.

Donna leans down and whispers something to the puppy. Turning her around, she lightly pats the dog on the butt and encourages her to walk back towards Harvey.

Sliding down onto his knees, he welcomes Fate with open arms. Petting her head, his fingers bump into something sticking out of her collar. He pulls the pregnancy test away from her and slowly stands up, not breaking eye contact with Donna.

His wife nods towards the stick in his hand, silently urging him to turn it around and look. Not risking it, he steps towards her instead, pulling her close by her hip until there was no space left between them. Donna grabs his hand holding the pregnancy test and slowly turns it over.

3+ weeks.

~oOo~

Right through the ages, to prove

Fate don't know you like I do

~oOo~

"Honey, I'm home."

Harvey hasn't even fully closed the door behind him when 50lbs of golden fluff bounce against him.

They have tried to stop allowing Fate to jump up every time he or Donna come home, but so far, no amount of obedience training has curbed her enthusiasm about having all her humans together again.

Throwing his suit jacket over the armrest of the couch, he scratches Fate's ears as he goes in search of his family.

"Where is mommy?" he asks the dog, letting her lead the way.

Her tail wagging, Fate runs down the few steps to the lower level of the house. Finding the family room empty, Harvey follows the dog into the home gym.

Walking into the room, he leans against the doorframe and watches as Fate plops down on her belly, her rear legs stretched out behind her. Slowly crawling towards Donna, who is sitting cross-legged on her yoga mat, Fate stops just an inch before Matthew, her nose reaching out towards him.

His 11-month-old son lets out an excited squeal and then coos at the dog, rocking back and forth on his knees. He has been crawling for a while now and learned to stand up on his own last month, but so far he hasn't managed to take any real steps.

Fate had made it her mission to speed the process up and every chance she gets, she lets Matty pull himself up on her.

Donna smiles at her husband, her eyes sparkling. She pulls their son onto his feet and encourages him to bounce up and down.

"Good day?" she asks Harvey.

"It is now," he replies, mirroring her smile.

Having noticed his father in the door, Matthew lets go of his mother's fingers and takes a confident move forward. With an "oof", he falls on his diapered butt just a second later.

Squealing and reaching his arms up to his dad, Fate crawls up to him and waits until he has a firm grip on her fur before she cautiously stands up. Pulling the baby up with her, the two friends take slow but steady steps, ending up right in front of Harvey.

Kneeling down, Harvey lifts his son up and then twirls him around.

Meeting up with his wife in the middle of the room, he presses Matthew against his chest and then pulls Donna into his side, greeting her with a kiss.

Fate, wanting to be included, squeezes herself in between Donna and Harvey, her tongue coming out to tickle Matthew's foot. The baby starts laughing and wiggling around in his father's arm.

"I can't believe mommy taught you to walk. She just made me the happiest man alive," Harvey says to his son with a side-eyed look at his wife.

Harvey holds Matty tighter and drops a kiss on top of his blond hair, while Donna kneels down to pull the dog close to her chest.

Looking up at her husband, she gives him a wink.

"No, Harvey. That was Fate."

A/N: Like all of my stories, this one was a long time coming. I started writing one bored Sunday at work the end of February and it really took me almost five weeks to finish it. It's not what I had planned and I still don't understand how this story came to be at all. I had asked Heather for a cute and fluffy 1k prompt and a story about Darvey getting a dog, turned out to become this. Apparently, I can't not write Darvey babies.

This story would not be what it is without Heather (hjlbsw) and Aimee's (AimeeValle1) endless help! Read their stories and give them some love. They deserve it!

Thank you for reading my little story in these crazy times. Stay safe and healthy.