This is the result of way too many nights without sleep because who needs that anyways- please take it make my pain worth it

Nobody asked but the title comes from Starset's Point of no return- it's a very good song and all I can think of for shin teikoku Genda

Also as usual in my shin teikoku stuff this is more inspired by the game than the anime plot for it

Genda didn't really think before making his decision. All it took was stopping for a moment to catch their breath while they ran through the docks. He knew someone was bound to find them soon, already suspected Kageyama was waiting for something like this to happen. After the mess he created with the Zeus and the God's water, this could only end up worse. He only needed to take one glance at that guy at his side to know already in how much trouble they were in.

He just needed to look at Sakuma to make up his mind, see how he was already struggling to run. It was a stupid, reckless and probably even suicidal decision, but if it could get Sakuma out of there alive and in one piece... he was fine with it. Right there and then, that was all he really cared about.

"Hey... Sakuma..." He was still busy catching his breath to answer, just looking at him to confirm he was listening. "Let's split up- he can't follow both of us. We can lose him and then get out of here." Sakuma didn't look convinced. Genda couldn't really blame him, especially not knowing how stupid what he was about to do would be.

"Are you sure...?"

"We don't have enough time to think of anything else. Either we try or we let him get us."

"But what if he gets one of us- what if there's someone else with him?" Because they saw their fair share of creepy guys hanging around the place. That couldn't be a coincidence. Genda grimaced.

"If we're careful we can outrun those guys." He would be damned if he didn't keep Sakuma safe now. One way or another, he would do it.

Right as Sakuma tried once again to protest, the footsteps were fading in, coming closer.

"... Please, be careful."

"I will." It was almost scary how easy lying could be for his sake. "You too, ok?" He still refused to change his mind, even when he knew it would only bring him trouble. A nod, and they were running again.

Once he was sure Sakuma was out of sight, Genda stopped, listening for the stranger's footsteps. He didn't make himself wait, the sickening grin still plastered on his face, nearly splitting it from ear to ear like he was just playing some twisted version of hide and seek. With a sigh and the silent acceptance that he most likely just condemned himself to hell, Genda stepped forward, raising his fists because like hell he would go down without a fight- not when on it depended Sakuma's safety. He was ready, he told himself.

He was so wrong.

Genda wasn't there.

Sakuma wasn't sure how much time had passed, how long he had just been sitting there at the docks' entrance, numbly staring at his phone as if that would somehow make Genda return his calls and messages or just show up to tell him everything was alright. How could he have been so stupid and let him out of his sight? He knew the moment Genda brought up his stupid idea how big of an excuse and a lie it was, as if he wouldn't do anything he could for his friends' sake. He should've known there was no way he would be fast enough to be the one luring them away and letting Genda get away safely, and now he lost him. It was his fault just his fault how could he-

His head snapped up when he heard frantic footsteps approaching, eye widening at the sight of his teammates, worry, fear and confusion twisting their usually cheerful and confident faces. The last time they looked like that, so lost and concerned, their team had gotten hospitalized after the dreaded match against the Zeus and they almost lost their keeper. Knowing a repeat of that was coming just made him want to throw up.

No one said a word while he went over what happened, his voice unusually quiet and emotionless for their hot-headed forward. No one wanted to point out how he still sounded far too close to a breakdown despite his attempts to detach himself and be the calm and level-headed strategist they so desperately needed.

They all pitched in with their own money to stay in the city some more time. No one needed to even say it- they weren't leaving until they had their friend back. When they were ready to keep scouting the place, they all agreed on keeping in contact as often as possible, never leaving anyone alone. they couldn't afford to get careless now, not when Genda needed them.

No one was sure of how or when it happened, but eventually the news of Kageyama's presence at Ehime had somehow reached the Raimon, their bright and cheery bus a stark contrast against the grim and dark docks of the city. The usual happiness that came with meeting up with their friends after so long was completely gone. It was just another reminder of the emptiness left when their keeper was taken.

Seeing the worry on their ex-captain's face once he realized what was going on only added to their guilt.

"... Where is Genda." They froze under Kidou's stare. Their uncomfortable silence was already enough of an answer. Kidou cursed under his breath, headed towards the docks before anyone could remind him of just how stupid the idea was, everyone resigning themselves to follow him before losing another friend.

The docks were dark and void of people, a dead silence permeating them. As much as they looked around, there was no trace of anyone or anything pointing at a trap, despite how very clearly it had to be one. Sakuma was tense, arms crossed in a poor attempt to hide it, looking around as much as he could like that would make Genda show up with his big dumb grin reassuring everyone that he was alright. The team was with him, Narukami blasting music into his headphones in an effort to hold back tears and Oono looming over them all, looking ready to deck someone hard enough to knock their teeth out. Even Gojou looked on edge despite his never-changing expression.

As much as they all looked, there was no trace of anything weird or suspicious going on there. Like they never stepped in there in the first place. Like Genda had just vanished without a trace.

Some of the others were ready to give up, to start suggesting to leave and try something else, Sakuma could tell. He was more than ready to tell them off, to scream his frustrations until his throat was raw and to keep looking until he either found Genda or his body gave up and- then the ground was shaking.

The water rippled and parted as the unexpected submarine emerged, a dark and threatening figure looming over them.

The doors then opened, inviting, almost daring them to come in.

When Kidou rushed into the submarine, Sakuma didn't hesitate to follow, ignoring the yells behind them telling them to stop, the frantic footsteps of the rest of his team following barely registering in his rush. He knew it was stupid and dangerous, of course he did- they didn't need to tell him when he had witnessed how far Kageyama could go. He just didn't care anymore, not when Genda had been in there with that man for far too long.

Whatever he expected, it wasn't what he found.

Kageyama was talking, that guy- Fudou next to him with that manic grin of his, but Sakuma wasn't listening to anything he said, wasn't paying attention to either of them. Genda was right there at that man's side like he always belonged there, like he was nothing more than his loyal lapdog. His eye refused to look away, taking in everything that had changed: his longer hair, the dreadful scars over his eye, the scowl on his face and his scarily cold glare, like he didn't even know Sakuma anymore.

"What... w-what did you do to him?!" He was the only one that managed to speak up, everyone too shocked, horrified or both to even find the words. Kageyama merely sneered in the face of his anger. Genda was quiet.

"He just realized his mistakes and crawled back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness. I just made him stronger like he wanted to be." Sakuma silently clenched his fists like he was barely keeping himself from attacking him. The yells around him fell on deaf ears.

"You fucking bastard-"

"Shut up." All the anger was quickly replaced by hurt confusion. Sakuma flinched under the unnatural hatred of Genda's glare, so cold and foreign it scared him. For a moment, he felt like he didn't even know him anymore.

"Genda...?" He didn't reply, still glaring like Sakuma suddenly became the scum on earth. After seeing what that man had done to his best friend, what he had just let happen, that didn't feel so wrong either. Seeing his pain, his fear and distress, Kageyama chuckled, something cold and emotionless sending shivers down his spine.

"I'll leave you to catch up before our match, then." With that mocking tone, he turned and vanished in the darkness of the corridor behind him, never losing his composure once. Sakuma had to bite his tongue to keep his temper at bay before he could make everything worse, trying as hard as he could to ignore him, to tune out Kidou's angry yells, and focus on his friend instead. Genda still wasn't moving from his spot, the feral scowl still on his face like he could try and kill someone at the first wrong step.

"... What the hell happened to you?" Genda scoffed, like the question was really as stupid as he seemed to believe.

"I became stronger, isn't that obvious? I don't need any of you now, I won't lose to anyone."

Hearing that, Sakuma didn't think, anger, frustration and desperation taking over and clouding his judgement, part of him truly believing that if he let this one chance slide, his friend would be lost forever. He reached out, grabbing Genda's wrist, tight enough to stop him from leaving. Genda froze on the spot.

At that moment, Sakuma wanted to say something, anything to snap him out of whatever was possessing him and get him back. The words died in his throat when he felt him shake in his grasp.

Right in front of his eyes, Genda nearly collapsed, shaking and gripping his head like it was about to split in half.

"G-Genda-?!" For a moment, all he could see was fear in his eyes, everything else gone. It was gone almost too fast to even notice it, Genda yanking his arm out of his hand, hurrying back to his feet and backing away like a cornered animal, something that almost looked like a feral fear shining in his eyes.

Forced to watch his friend get further and further away, Sakuma couldn't stand by anymore.

"Let us play!" Everyone turned to Sakuma, varying degrees of shock and worry on their face. He didn't let that stop him. "Genda is our friend- we'll fight to save him!" The team was quick to loudly agree with him, already standing to his side.

Fudou glanced at him as if he was nothing more than a fly on the wall. Then, he flashed a twisted grin, not even bothering to hide his laughter.

"And why would we play against a bunch of weaklings like you? We're only here for the Raimon!"

"You bastard-" Sakuma clenched his fists and took a step forward, shaking in anger and ready to punch every single one of his teeth out. Before Oono could grab the back of his shirt to stop him, Fudou dropped the ball under his arm to the ground. Then, he kicked it.

Sakuma tensed up and braced himself for the hit. The pained cry that followed wasn't his.

"Genda!" His friend was on the ground. Fudou just sneered at them.

"If you care so much about him then stay quiet and sit down! We'll play against the Raimon, like it or not." Then, he stepped closer to Genda, too busy catching his breath to even notice him. Sakuma tensed up in their grip just as quickly.

"I-I'm fine-"

"See? He's fine, what sort of shitty keeper would he be if he couldn't take a shot like that?" At least Genda managed to get up before Fudou could find a other excuse to kick him again. Sakuma didn't have a chance to protest, Fudou already gripping Genda's wrist and forcefully dragging him away. "We'll be waiting for the Raimon, then!"

In the end, nothing could be done to avoid the dreaded match.

The Raimon was prepared to step on the pitch, discussing their strategy and warily glancing at the other team, just expecting another trap. Sakuma didn't need to think twice before making up his mind.

"Kidou." He quickly looked up once he heard his name, taking in the way Sakuma's fists were shaking in anger, how his eye refused to leave the other bench where Genda was sitting. Whatever Kageyama did to him, he looked like he was at his limit well before the match even began. "Let me play in this match. I have to help him."

Kidou didn't even need to question him or think about it, already knowing all too well what Sakuma was feeling, the anger, frustration and above all, the determination to save a friend.

Wearing the Raimon uniform after everything that happened between their teams felt pretty weird, honestly. It just didn't feel right. At least he didn't have to focus on that, the weight of the oncoming match and everything that happened in just a few days already enough of a burden as it was. Seeing Genda on the other side of the pitch, that feral scowl still on his face like he was looking at strangers, didn't help in the slightest. Part of him almost feared having to get used to that.

Kidou sensed his worries, a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to reassure him.

"We'll save him." Sakuma absently nodded, his eye still refusing to leave Genda.

"We have to."

They didn't have much time to keep talking, the match already starting. Taking his position on the field, Sakuma just spared one more glance to Genda before focusing on his role, silently promising he would save him before the whistle broke the dreadful silence.

It started like any other match. No apparent traps, the enemies playing rough as expected, yet nothing out of the norm was happening. Yet. It was unnerving in a way, going into the match expecting something horrible to happen only to be met with this.

Then, the Raimon took possession of the ball.

Getting to the opponent's goal was easy, almost scarily so. Sakuma only had to glance at Fudou once and see his careless attitude to know something was up- and he didn't like it one bit. A gut feeling still wasn't enough of a reason to give up this early into the match, though. Genda needed him. And so, he reluctantly whistled and kicked.

Genda just smirked as he faced the oncoming shot, vicious and cruel. Then, he moved to catch it. When Sakuma recognized that hissatsu, it was already too late.

"Genda, no! Stop-!"

"Beast fang!"

The smirk vanished as soon as he stopped the shot. He fell to his knees, screaming in pain, his entire body feeling like it was being torn apart- and yet he still didn't let go of the ball, grimly determined to win even if it killed him.

Match be damned, Sakuma couldn't watch this anymore, couldn't just stand by as they forced him to slowly kill himself like that.

"Isn't it amazing?" Fudou was already in front of him before he could step any closer to his friend, the crazed grin never leaving his face. "Look at that power! See how strong I made him?" Genda still wasn't getting up, all his efforts seemingly for nothing, his limbs shaking from the strain. Sakuma had to use all of his willpower to keep himself from punching the grin off his face right there and then- not like it was working when he had to watch Genda fall apart.

"Shut up… s-shut up!" Fists shaking, he raised one- to hell with the consequences.

"Sakuma!" He wasn't sure when or how Kidou had gotten to his side, a firm hand on his shoulder to stop him from messing up. Without a word, Sakuma slowly lowered his fist, still glaring at Fudou like that was enough to wipe away the grin. Glancing at the goal, Genda was back on his feet, relentless and pushing through the pain. The sight alone was enough to break his heart a little more and steel his resolve.

When the first half ended and the team was discussing their new strategy, trying to find a way around beast fang, to still help their friend despite it all, Sakuma was sitting on the grass on his own, too busy with his own thoughts. It wasn't like he didn't know what they had –shouldn't- do now. Glancing at the rest of his team, seeing the worry, the fear and frustration haunting them, he wondered if they would be angry at him for failing. He's furious at himself already.

He shoved those thoughts at the back of his head when Kidou called him for the second half of the game. He had to make it right now.

Despite Sakuma's best efforts to keep his temper under control and still be of help, his kicks were stronger than usual, his passes more aggressive than before. He was trying his hardest just to keep himself together.

Shin Teikoku was more aggressive now, pushing and kicking and blocking all their attempts to go to the attack once again, leaving just enough openings to let Sakuma be the one catching the ball when they weren't trying to score. They thought he was the weak link of the team, he knew that, noticed Fudou watching his every move waiting for a mistake. They wanted to piss him off, and as much as they were managing to do just that, he refused to let them win.

"Sakuma!" Kidou caught his attention, pointing at Someoka, who was well ahead of them. "Pass!" With a grunt and a nod, he kicked the ball as hard he could.

The winged dragon was heading towards the goal, brine and ice creeping on its wings, icy roar enough to freeze anyone where they stood. It should score without a problem, especially now that Genda was already suffering the backlash of one beast fang.

With a feral scream, Genda acted, faster than anyone expected, pushed by sheer desperation. He didn't hear their terrified screams as he called forth the beast, didn't even look at the fear in their faces as he faced the shot, nothing else mattering anymore.

The ball fell to the ground, rolling away from the goal, scorch and frost nearly tearing it apart.

He couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even think through the pain, his body frozen in place.

The last thing he heard was Sakuma's desperate scream, saw his friend rush towards him in a panic through his blurred vision. Everything faded into a blissful black.

When he woke up, the first thing he was aware of was the pain. A horrible pain tearing into every fiber of his body that made him want to scream. Then, he realized he didn't have the energy to even do that. Pain aside, his whole body felt simply numb, he couldn't even twitch a finger. Just forcing himself to keep his eyes open was already draining him. It was all so uncomfortably familiar, he had to wonder if this wasn't the first time he woke up... wherever he was now.

It took far more pain and effort than what he would've ever liked to just take a look around. Eventually, his tired gaze fell on the sleeping figure on the chair next to his bed.

"S-Sa...kuma...?" He wanted to ask so many things- why was he here? Keeping company, watching over him after all he had done? How much time had passed for him to fall asleep so uncomfortably?

As much as he tried, he just couldn't move, couldn't even twitch a finger, not even try and touch him, wake him up and ask him any of all his questions.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when Sakuma finally woke up, just trying to fight off the pain as the painkillers' effect started to fade.

"Genda-! How are you feeling- wait, nevermind, I'm calling a nurse-" Putting his brief panic aside, Sakuma pressed the button, sighing as he looked him over. "… You scared us, you know…" There was no accusation, and Genda still felt the guilty sitting uncomfortably in his stomach.

"S-sorry…"

"Why are you apologizing? This isn't your fault." Genda didn't answer. Sakuma sighed, deciding to wait in silence for the nurse to come check on him. This wasn't going to be easy, was it?

The first few days were simply hell, constantly in and out of consciousness as he fought the exhaustion just to stay awake a little longer. It became agonizingly common to wake up once the painkillers' effect started to wear off, followed by the struggle against the pain until the nurses could give him another shot. How they could put up with watching him fall apart, having to hear his muffled screams until he finally blacked out again, he couldn't understand. Not when all of this had been his own fault in the first place.

Genda just wanted to talk to him, to apologize for all the wrongs he did to him, even when he knew already he didn't deserve to be forgiven after everything he put Sakuma through. He didn't even deserve to have him there with him, watching over him and waiting for him to recover with a surprising patience no one even knew he had.

"What's on your mind?" Sakuma's surprisingly soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"W-what?"

"Something's bothering you, I can tell that much." Of course he would notice, he knew far too well how to read Genda after all those years. "What is it? And don't even think of saying it's nothing or lying to me."

"... I messed up. All of this was my fault." Sakuma sighed, shifting on his chair to face him. It still was bothering him, then…

"You didn't. They took advantage of you."

"I let it happen." He wanted to clench his fists, to dig his nails into his palms hard enough to draw blood, as if some small part of him believed that would truly make him atone for all the mistakes he made, all those decisions and all the suffering he put them through. Deep down, he knew there was really no way to forgive himself.

"What do you mean- this wasn't your fault, you idiot." Genda was silent, yet his lack of words was almost screaming how little he could believe that. It was a scream for help as much as it was a guilty verdict. Sakuma sighed, trying to gather all the patience he was capable of. "You... you just tried to protect me, didn't you? You had no idea any of this mess would happen- and don't you dare try to tell me otherwise or find another excuse!" He quickly shut his mouth, any protest dying at the outburst.

"… How can you do that? How are you not angry at me after this?"

"Don't get me wrong, I was really pissed at you at first." Genda flinched, even when he was already expecting that to happen. "It was out of worry, stop overthinking- yes, I was angry at you, but just because of how stupid that was and how worried I was over you, I know you had good intentions… Besides… I know I would have done the same for you if I could've…"

"… Still…" Genda was still conflicted by that answer, that much he could tell.

There was a minute or so of awkward silence, heavy on them both. He needed to do something, anything that would finally show Genda that yes, he cared for him despite everything- more than he expected.

It was a horrible, awful idea, more likely to backfire than to do any good in this mess of a situation. It was also the only way he could find to get anything through his friend's thick skull in said mess. He wouldn't admit that he was still scared, terrified of everything that had happened in just a few days, of how close he had been to losing his best friend- his crush without even saying anything. His heart was beating faster, an overwhelming beat that threatened to drown any other sound, far too acutely aware of how much he was overthinking this. It was now or never- he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't keep pushing his whirlwind of emotions down until it killed him.

Sakuma took a deep breath, counted down from ten in his mind in a futile effort to calm himself down, just delaying something he had already made up his mind on. Before Genda could have a chance to speak up, he pressed their lips together in an attempt at a kiss.

It was clumsy, awkward and quick. It was all he ever wanted. It was a mistake he wouldn't regret, not now that there was no going back.

He could feel his face burning even before pulling back, his heart beating faster and his eye wide as he stared at Genda, searching for a hint of rejection, any sort of reaction to the very stupid thing he just did. Genda stared back, his face just as red –if not more, he couldn't be sure anymore-, opening his mouth, not saying anything- what could he even say, anyways?

He screwed up. He couldn't have screwed this up more than this and now all he wanted was to find a hole and hide forever. There was no way he could save this now, was there? He had to leave now, he needed to get away before he could keep making it worse-

"Sakuma-!" Against all common sense, Genda pushed himself to reach out and take his hand, gritting his teeth as he felt the strain on his arms. His grip was weak and clumsy, laughably so. If he tried, there was nothing really stopping Sakuma from just slipping out of it and running away, just like he wanted after how much he screwed up the only chance he ever really had. He didn't, frozen in place and staring at his friend. Why did he push himself, hurt himself even more, just to keep him there? After what happened in the span of a few minutes?

"Genda… you-" He almost tried to pull away, tried to come up with an excuse, anything to get away. Genda cut him off before he could say more.

"I- I like you too!" There, he let it out, nearly screamed with far more strength than what his body should've been capable of.

Sakuma blinked, staring at him. Then, his brain promptly short-circuited, quickly devolving into a stuttering mess incapable of forming a single coherent sentence. Genda liked him? That way? Really?

Before he could even say anything and answer this sudden confession, Genda nearly collapsed back into the bed, exhausted from that effort alone.

"Genda!" Previous mess forgotten, Sakuma hurried to make sure he didn't get himself any more hurt. At least he looked fine, even if tired. "You idiot…" With a soft sigh, he pulled the chair closer to the bed. Sakuma raised his hand, somewhat awkwardly lowering it when he wondered if it really was alright… then, he decided that he didn't care so much anymore. And so, he carefully placed his hand on Genda's head, stroking his messy hair in an effort to comfort him through the pain. It didn't take much longer for Genda to fall asleep, faint traces of a smile tugging at his lips. It was enough for Sakuma.

Even with how it happened, knowing they could work out their now reciprocated feelings later was enough to reassure him. Everything would be alright.

Despite the worst of the damage being focused in his arms and hands, the doctors forced Genda on a wheelchair whenever he needed to get out of bed. Even with his legs uninjured and making enough progress to actually move his arms, he still didn't have the strength to support himself, let alone catch himself should he lose his balance. As much as he hated it, Genda reluctantly accepted the wheelchair, even with the shame that came with it. How could he keep his head up and show his pride as a keeper when he couldn't even walk by himself?

And so, after another painful rehab session, a nurse was helping Genda back to his room to let him rest- except when they opened the door, what greeted him wasn't the sight of a cold and lonely hospital room or Sakuma sitting there patiently waiting for him. What greeted him was his entire team, happy smiles, cheesy balloons, sweets and flowers in hand, not a hint of sadness, anger or even betrayal to be seen. As he sat there stunned, the nurse wheeling him in was arguing with Sakuma that they couldn't do this, he needed to take it easy and rest. In the end, Sakuma won when the team backed him up, the nurse having no choice but sighing in exasperation and asking them not to overdo it. Genda still wasn't sure what to say- if there even was anything he could say.

While Oono and Sakiyama helped him get back in bed, Narukami and Doumen were arguing over this or that, not managing to agree on whatever it was even with Henmi stepping in to awkwardly try to calm them down. It felt so… normal, so much like their daily life, it was almost surreal. As soon as he was settled In bed, Sakuma sat on the edge right next to him, a fond, yet somewhat mischievous smile on his face.

"… What did you do?" Somehow, Sakuma's smile grew wider.

"Nothing, just talked to them so we could all take an afternoon off practice to come here." Not caring about everyone else seeing them, Sakuma inched closer to him, gently stroking his hair and fixing his messy bangs.

His friends were all there for him, even after everything that happened.

"… Genda…? You…" He quickly brought up a hand to try and wipe away the tears, still freely falling despite his attempts. The tiny smile refused to leave his lips.

They cared, even when he wasn't strong enough to protect the team. They were still his friends, and that was all that mattered.

"Thank you."