Title: The Post-It Conspiracy
Author: Angel Leviathan
Spoilers: Anything and everything.
Season: 4/5
Notes: Well, at the SFX event they were using post-it notes to stick names to things when we went to get Michael Shank's autograph. ; Rather random, but it got me thinking. What if Jack went on a rampage with the little notes? And what if Sam retaliated? Hope you enjoy reading.
Sam entered her lab, kicking the door open and desperately trying to find a place to dump the armful of papers that threatened to meet with the floor. She let them down on her main desk, on top of her laptop, then scrabbled around to save her computer. How could one briefing produce that many notes? The Colonel had been strangely – well, no, if she admitted it, not strangely, absent, and now she knew why. She'd seen his office. It had an original, 'uncompleted paperwork' theme to it. Sam flicked open the laptop and booted it up. When her eyes met the screen she found a yellow post-it note stuck right in the middle, one that she certainly hadn't put there. She frowned and read the text, "Write Colonel O'Neill's Mission Report". Sam grinned, ripping the note from the screen, "Nice try, Sir," she muttered under her breath. She crumpled the paper in her palm, only to see another note on the screen, "He's my superior, I can't disobey orders," she removed that one too, "Oh yes I can," she said aloud, disposing of that post-it note too. Sam turned back to the computer to find another yellow square taunting her, "Colonel O'Neill knows where my chocolate stash is," her eyes widened, "Why that-" she swiftly opened one of the units that held her lab equipment, reaching to the back, pulling a large slab of a chocolate bar into the light. Another note sat on top of it, "Gotcha, Carter," Sam stared. So that was what he was up to during is 'absence'. So, of course, he knew this meant war.
-
When Daniel went back to his office, he found a note stuck to his door, "Dr Daniel Jackson, aka, the Spacemonkey, lives here. Please do not feed the animals," he almost banged his head against the door, "Jack," he muttered, ripping down the note and stepping inside. What he saw inside nearly made him drop the coffee he'd recently procured. Stuck on nearly every artefact in sight was a yellow square with big black writing on. He placed the coffee and files on his desk, then went to read the offending notes, "What's this?" "When did we find that?" and, "Did you steal this?" greeted him as he made his way along the shelves. He ignored the rest and went straight to his computer screen, "See Daniel, there are so many more productive things to do than sit in briefings." Daniel took the note from the screen, crumpled it up, and threw it into the waste paper basket. There were times, he thought, when Jack needed to get out more.
-
As Jack re-entered his office, he found his 'In' tray significantly taller than when he had left. He threw the tiny yellow block of paper to his desk, going to sit down, before seeing a blue note attached to the top file in the tray, "Just thought I'd collect the briefing notes for you, Sir," he ripped the note off with a sigh. He blinked. Another one, "Touch my chocolate again and there will be severe consequences," Jack grinned; what exactly could she do? He removed the note to find a third underneath it, "Something worse than you could ever imagine," he quickly ripped off the blue square, expecting to see another one, but saw only the SGC logo underneath. His eyes went to the block of yellow notes on his desk. Jack shook his head and leant back in his chair, nearly jumping when he saw another blue note on his lamp, "And don't think I don't mean it…." Now she was sneaky, that Samantha Carter….but he was not going to be beaten at his own game.
-
"Daniel, what can I do for you?" Janet asked, seeing Daniel entered the Infirmary.
"These look familiar?" he offered a couple of yellow post-its to her.
Janet frowned, "Yes. Yes they are. That Colonel is going down," she gestured for him to follow her into her office. She swiped a bunch of yellow paper from her desk, handing them over to Daniel, "Next time he's in here…."
Daniel stared down at the squares, "Have I been hooked up to this one?" "What does this do?" "This is shiny," "How much do these things cost anyway?"
"….he's going to meet with the biggest needle I have, even if he doesn't 'require' an injection…." Janet finished.
Before Daniel could reply, Jack's voice was heard in the corridor;
"CARTER!"
Janet peered out of the slightly open door, seeing the aforementioned Colonel making his way away from them, a bunch of blue paper in his right hand. She grinned, letting a snigger escape her, "Looks like Sam already got her own back."
"What colours of those things do we have anyway?" Daniel asked.
"Erm….well, obviously yellow and blue…"
"I think there were green ones in the briefing," he continued.
"And I've used pink squares before," Janet nodded, "Why?"
Daniel grinned, "We could use this to our advantage…"
"Huh?" Janet frowned, "I just want revenge…"
"Well….it'd be revenge….but not in that way," he shrugged.
"Well?"
"If Jack is using yellow notes and Sam is using blue……can you forge Sam's handwriting?" he asked.
A slow smile crept across Janet's face, "I think I could manage it…..what about Jack's?"
"Pretty convincingly. We only have a few days until our bets are null and void, then we start owing other people money," Daniel blinked.
"I like the sound of this….." she trailed off, "Where do they keep the post-its?"
-
Later that day, after going down to pass on the latest analysis results to the labs, Sam swung open the door to her own lab to find a little trail of yellow squares around the lab bench. She frowned and picked up the one closest to her, "Is that a threat, Carter?" she moved onto the next one, "Because if it is…." she ripped the third from the surface, "I may have to retaliate" Sam crumpled up the notes she had so far, "By stealing your chocolate completely," she exhaled, "You wouldn't dare…" she mumbled, removing the next in line, "Wanna bet?" the line ended as Sam turned to check where she'd hidden the chocolate. She reached inside the cupboard, coming back empty handed. She scrabbled around some more, fingers resting on a paper surface, she withdrew her hand, a yellow note stuck to her index finger, "R.I.P Samantha Carter's chocolate supply. It was a good friend and very edible." Letting out a growl of fury, grinning wickedly, Sam grabbed her pad of blue post-its and swiftly left the room.
-
"He found her chocolate…" Janet shook her head in dismay, from the place she and Daniel were lurking.
"I take it she's going to get her own revenge?" Daniel summarised.
"Its not going to be pretty," she nodded, "Quick, before she gets back."
Armed with pads of yellow post-its, Janet and Daniel ran into Sam's lab to create some havoc.
-
"Jack O'Neill you are a dead man," Jack came nose to nose with a blue square stuck on his office door. He sniggered, ripping it away and opening the door. What met him was certainly an interesting sight. Some of his paperwork was stuck to the walls by blue pieces of paper, some stuck to the floor and some stuck to the desk. A big A3 size piece of white paper was stuck behind his desk. He started to read the notes around the walls, "I can buy," he moved on, "Much more chocolate," some paperwork met with the floor as he plucked another note from the wall, "And hide it in better places," the line abruptly stopped at, "But…" an arrow pointed to the A3 sheet. Jack stared. In big black letters was the writing, "Colonel Jack O'Neill's Gameboy; not hidden very skilfully; Ransom $100 worth of chocolate," underneath was a crudely drawn Gameboy with eyes, legs and arms, gagged and bound. Below that, more text, "Warning: it may be returned DEAD or ALIVE". Jack blinked. Blinked again. How had she? Crap. Note to self, buy lock for desk drawer. He swiped the small yellow brick on his desk and charged back towards Sam's lab.
-
"I didn't think she had it in her…" Daniel laughed, "Do they realise that they're both on CCTV doing this?"
"We'd better try and get the camera tapes when we're done, or we're in serious danger," Janet held up the blue post-its, "Ready, Dr Jackson?" she grinned.
"Certainly…"
-
Sam had barely been out of her lab more than five minutes, having been 'diverted' by Teal'c, on her way back from Jack's office, to then return to find it absolutely plastered with the now familiar yellow squares. She narrowed her eyes and grabbed the one closest to her, "Got anymore chocolate in here?" Sam quickly ran to the other end of the room, unlocked the bottom drawer of one of the filing cabinets, and placed the Gameboy safely inside, "How about a truce, Carter?" met her gaze on the way up, "I buy more chocolate, you return the Gameboy," was the next proposal she saw. It was the note stuck on her laptop that shocked her the most, "We could return the items over dinner…" Sam frowned. Coward. He just didn't want his toy broken. Still…..it sounded very…interesting. She shook her head as her mind started to wander to things that a 2IC shouldn't be thinking about her CO. She blinked, seeing another yellow square on the back of the door, "That new restaurant in town?" she ripped the note off the door, eyes widening. Was he serious? Another note was stuck on her lab coat, "I'll pick you up, 7pm tonight." Why of all the nerve! How did he think he could just- okay, yeah, dinner did sound appealing. Very appealing. Perhaps the Gameboy would live to see another day….
-
Jack was about ten metres away from Sam's lab when he saw a little line of blue post-its stuck to the grey walls of the SGC. He approached them with caution, "Step any closer to my lab and I am not responsible for my actions," he peered at the next one along the line, "Go back to your office and nothing else will happen…" the next notes made a big arrow in the direction he came. He sighed, shrugged and returned to his office. Another blue note greeted him on his door, "Truce?" he shook his head, grinning. Coward. She was just afraid of more of her sweets being stolen…and eaten. Another note, this time on his lamp, "New restaurant in town? You buy more chocolate, I'll return the Gameboy," okay. Weird. Carter was asking him out to dinner. Surely she……or maybe she would. Either way, he wasn't about to argue, "Pick me up a 7pm tonight from my place." Hang on. It could be a trap. Maybe she was planning to seduce him to get more chocolate. Jack shrugged; he wasn't exactly against being seduced by his 2IC….
-
"Sam! Hey!" Janet swung open the door to Sam's lab a couple of hours later, "What you up to?"
"Stupid machine won't work…" Sam mumbled, poking the strangely shaped box on her lab bench with an instrument.
"I meant tonight," Janet continued, "Cassie wants you to come over."
Sam looked up, "I'm sorry Janet, I can't…"
"Why not?" she affected a hurt look.
Sam paused, "…because I already made plans I can't go back on…..I'm really sorry, tell Cassie I'll make it up to her?"
Janet smiled slightly, "Sure, don't worry. But you'll see her on the weekend, right?"
"Yeah," Sam nodded, "I'll be there."
"Okay," she couldn't help but grin, "Have fun tonight…doing whatever you're doing!"
"I'll try…" Sam mumbled as Janet left her along in her lab again.
-
"Jack?" Daniel stuck his head round the door to Jack's office, "You busy tonight? Teal'c wants us to go to that hockey match."
Jack looked up, "Sorry Daniel, other plans…"
"Such as?" he pressed.
"Dinner," Jack returned his eyes to his paperwork.
"With who?" Daniel covered a smile.
"…a friend…" he replied cautiously.
"O…kay…." Daniel nodded, "Next week?"
"Sure," Jack answered, "But tell T to buy a better hat."
"Will do."
-
That evening, Sam was pacing nervously in her living room. Fair enough, it had all been a joke, but since when did it end up with people going out to dinner? She should just hand the Gameboy back tomorrow morning and they'd say nothing more about it. No. Bad plan. She was too curious about what this dinner was going to entail. She nearly hit the ceiling when she heard her doorbell ring. Sam smoothed down her long blue skirt and straightened the necklace she wore. Damn. Don't look nervous. Look mad. Look mad. Look-
"Hey Carter."
Look at him. Nice. She just managed to stop her self nodded appreciatively. Jack wore a pair of black trousers and a smart grey shirt, leather jacket slung over his shoulder, "Hey….Sir…" Sam slowly replied.
"You ready to go?" he asked.
"Sure," she answered, grabbing her small bag from a hook by the door, "Let's go."
-
"We're too early, Daniel, people are going to suspect something…" Janet uttered, looking in the wing mirror of Daniel's car. They had parked in the restaurant's car park, as close to the entrance as they could get, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jack and Sam.
"Yes. People are going to suspect something of two people at a restaurant…" Daniel replied, as close to sarcasm as he ever got.
"Too much time with Jack, Daniel…" Janet smiled, "Let's just go, we look weird just sitting here in the car," she opened her door and stepped out of the car.
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Daniel answered, locking the car behind them as they made their way to the entrance.
-
"You been to this new place yet?" Jack asked as he swung the car into the car park.
"No, Sir," Sam replied. She had been trying not to look at him for the whole journey for fear she might say something she shouldn't.
"Oh, the chocolate is in the back, by the way," he added, "The woman at the store thought I was nuts."
"Ah," she grinned, "So I wont have to harm this," she opened her bag and waved the Gameboy around.
"Just put it in the glove box and you can have the chocolate after dinner," Jack tried to look menacing but failed rather miserably.
Sam narrowed her eyes, but put the toy in the compartment all the same. As the car stopped, she opened her door and stepped out, slamming it shut behind her, "Lead on, then, Sir."
"Drop the 'Sir', Carter," Jack shook his head, "Or its gonna look pretty weird over dinner."
"Then how about calling me by my first name?" Sam proposed.
"Deal," Jack grinned. By now, the two of them had made their way up the steps to the entrance, where a waiter stood ready to seat people.
"Jack O'Neill,"
"Sam Carter," they said at once. Both stared at the other.
"Ah yes…." The man looked down at his list, "Right this way…" he gestured for them to follow.
"But didn't you?"
"Or you?"
The two officers frowned, before following the waiter. On the way, they spotted two familiar figures by the bar….
"Well I'll be damned…"
-
"Er, Daniel…..I think they've seen us…" Janet prodded him.
"What makes you say that?"
"Possibly the staring….," she answered.
"Diversion?" Daniel frowned.
"Any time now…" Janet turned away, towards the bar.
"Okay….how about…" Daniel suddenly had his arms around her, kissing her.
Janet didn't exactly have time to react, but certainly wasn't against kissing him back. They stayed together until their two friends passed them by. She stepped back, "Wow….er….certainly a…good diversion….," she breathed.
"Glad you approve," Daniel replied.
Janet looked up at him, "Erm….any more diversions on the cards….." she trailed off into silence….
Daniel smiled slightly, "…..Depends on how many we need…." The two of them abandoned their drinks and very swiftly made their way towards the entrance…
-
"What the? Did you just see that?" Sam was just short of pointing.
"Er, Sam, take a look at this…" Jack swivelled her round to see the table. At each place setting was a post-it note, one green, one pink. Both reading, "Enjoy!"
Sam closed her eyes and shook her head, "We've been set up…"
"Devious lot…" Jack muttered.
"So you didn't.."
"And neither did you…."
"I-I'm not saying I wouldn't have.."
"Nor am I…"
They both laughed a little and looked to the floor.
"How about we just sit down first?" Jack offered.
"Sure."
-
"Well, I'd say their plan backfired on them a little," Jack laughed as the two of them made their way out of the restaurant.
Sam had her arm looped through his, "Why's that?"
He grinned, "They went out to get us together and ended up getting themselves together," he pointed, "Look, Daniel's car's gone!"
She laughed, "Oh no, Cassie's definitely in for a shock…" she frowned slightly, "Why did you start plastering those notes everywhere anyway?"
Jack shrugged, "Seemed like something fun to do at the time."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Do you think they ruined our game?" she stopped walking and looked across at him.
Jack stopped, looking up at the night sky, then back at her, "I think they moved the goal posts a bit," he stepped toward her, "But I also think….that it speeded thing up a little…"
"Oh really?" Sam slid her arms round his waist, drawing him closer to her, "What makes you think that….?" she raised an eyebrow, smiling.
"Well….," he lowered his head to kiss her softly, once, "This…."
"And this…" she drew him back against her, for a kiss that shocked them both with its intensity.
Jack took her hand and started to lead her back towards the car, "We could continue the game somewhere more suitable…"
"No rules….?" Sam asked quietly, stopping by the vehicle.
"No rules," he nodded, kissing her again, more passionately.
"Well then….," she looked up at him, "I'll play…."
Fin