It's always sunny in Chiba.

With the upcoming summer break, the weather almost seemed to be setting up the mood, with clear blue sky, reflecting upon the green grass to create incandescent glittering colors upon the ground.

Of course, like always, this weather contrasted heavily with the gloomy atmosphere of the clubroom.

One Yukinoshita Yukino can be seen reading through the book with unusual intensity, as if distracting herself from another hunching presence across the room.

The pink-haired bimbo in the middle of the two presence awkwardly looked down at her phone, typing slowly instead of the usual frantic fervor. Her mood practically palpable, imprinting on each press of the phone button like thunder in the silent atmosphere.

Meanwhile, I, Hikigaya Hachiman, following the lead of my fellow clubmates, seek to also distract myself from them (and the tension) by doing what I always do when I am frustrated.

Writing on my diary/journal/maybe-sorta-future-book.

Yes, you heard that right, me; I'm probably going to publish my kind-of diary. Now, I know I am a good writer. Far better than the average, in fact. That by itself is not a good justification to publish the journal of my (admittedly funny and so far, very dramatic) experience of high school. That being said…

I don't care.

Besides, it's fun to write your thoughts and monologues down like this. By doing so, I can occasionally remember some of the really good ones and shoot some at Yukinoshita when she's not… brooding? Ignoring? Imprinting the subtext of I-really-hate-you-right-now on the atmosphere? Whatever, you get the point. Also, by writing down the course of event that lead to this point, I can truly self-reflect on my own decisions, and the thoughts thereof would make for a great novel, for sure!

So there it is. Honestly a pretty morbidly funny picture overall. One would think that someone had died with this atmosphere, with the solemn expressions on the girls and the mildly amused face of the sole creepy boy in the room fervently writing his hearts down, the picture you get is pretty fucking hilarious. Heh.

Heh heh.

Anyway, enough snickering mentally. They're just being super dramatic. I did another social suicide, so what? It's not like it's the first time I've done it; they should've gotten used to it already.

Besides, it's not like we're friends or anything – Yukinoshita even said it as much…

With Yuigahama, it's even worse. She felt like she had an obligation – no matter how far ago it seemed – to "protect" me, to "care" for me.

It's sickening. We're not that close. Nowhere near enough to accept her pity. Talk about superficial.

Still, this atmosphere is absolutely suffocating. Ugh. Finishing up my latest philosophical rant, I closed the diary with an audible thump, and put it down on the table.

Both of them shot up as if hearing a gunshot. Yukinoshita looked as though she is resisting the urge to look up from the book, while Yuigahama swiveled her head at my direction, and looked at me with… an expectant expression?

Come on.

"I'm going home. The air is too thick here, if you get what I mean." I sarcastically drawl out.

Silence.

I walked to the door. My hand paused at the handle, before looking over my shoulder. I saw Yukinoshita looking back at me, glassy look in her eyes.

"Talk to you guys later."

*WHAM*

…

I did not intend to close the door that hard. Fuck, and now they're going to think I'm somehow mad at them for acting like that. No, despite being irritated as I am, I can't say that I am mad at them.

I'm simply irritated, amused even, for them thinking that they need to somehow protect my non-existent reputation. Oh well, whatever. It's unimportant in the grand scheme of things, anyway.

I walked home with a small bounce in my step, as if happy with the petty and vindictive actions I just pulled off.

A large part of me felt guilty for it, but for now, let's embrace the other part.

People can be evil for no particular reasons, sometimes. Probably a mental defense mechanism.

This is just one of those days.

…

Throwing myself onto bed, exhausted, my last thought before losing consciousness was:

"Did I forget something? Eh, prolly not important."

It was not a soundful sleep.

I watched numbly as Hikigaya-kun slammed the door, the last expression on his face being contemptuous.

You... you dare showing contempt at us like this?! After all we've gone through?

I did not show any rage outward, but it was a storm brewing inside my head.

As if sensing my raging thought, Yuigahama-san looked at me sadly, almost as if trying to console me through her eyes alone. It's not his fault, her eyes seemed to say.

"We need to make it clear to him how we feel, Yukinon. How he acts… I don't like it, Yukinon… I *hick* I don't like it at all…" She sobs, brushing her tears aside with her sleeve.

And you made Yuigahama cried, you bastard.

Whatever sympathy I felt for him evaporated in an instant. Not that there is much left after what he did.

"No, we should not." It came out suddenly, saying the first thing that came to my mind.

I continued. "He should realize his own mistakes, not for us to just crawl to him and beg for forgiveness pathetically like that. It sickens me." I finished with a sneer. Truer words have never been spoken. I hate the way Hikigaya forced us to constantly be the one to initiate emotional charged decisions in our relationships. He never seeks us out and try to be the one to solve our current problems.

And I hate it. I hate how he solved our problems by making himself a scapegoat. I hate how he constantly become a social punching bag for some nebulous 'greater purpose'.

I hate how effective they were at solving our problems.

But enough is enough. Because there are better ways to continue how we conduct our club.

There will always be a better way than his. I might not have the ability to read social situation like him or Yuigahama, but I know that his way is not the only way, and not always for the best.

After all, Hayama's clique interrelationship is no better than at the start of the year. Maybe even worse up-close, after our whole debacle.

"…What-" Yuigahama sniffed, "Whatever you say, Yukinon, but this can't continue, for sure."

"I agree," Nothing else needed to be said. Her feelings for him and… mine, is the furthest from our thoughts, right now.

Now, we need to solve our current relationship first. Even I can detect that it is not sustainable.

There was a mutual silence of understanding that passed between us, before I stood up.

"We cannot continue spending our time here. It's only going to make us feel worse. We should go to our respective home and refresh our thoughts." I proposed. She nodded. I packed my bags, and before long I found my eyes linger on a worn notebook at the desk Hikigaya was occupying.

A small debate of decision making stormed inside me, before I grabbed the book and looked at it closely.

It was durable. Probably a few months in use. Synthetic hardened leather with golden edges around each corner of the book. With no symbol or anything marking the brown cover, it made for quite an unassuming notebook. Typical.

Yui piped up from behind me as I was inspecting it. "So, are you going to open it?" Why?

"No, Yuigahama-san. As much as I may hate him, to rifle through someone's property is heinous no matter his actions. We should respect each other's privacy."

Her eyes gleamed with a hint of mischief. "Well, aren't you just curious about what Hikky has written so fervently?" She said with a particularly vindictive tone. Wait, how does she even know the word "fervent" with that head of hers?

…That's a bit rude. Never mind. To answer her question…

I looked at the book in deep thought. Well, just this once, let's be petty. He deserved it, anyway. I thought uncharacteristically.

Intensely aware of my own action, I slow open the book and laid down the first page for both of us to see.

Emblazon on the first page, was a sketch of… us with Isshiki (drawn much later than us, I noted), under the cursive letters on top, reading:

"Thoughts on the Service Club." That… was very straight forward. Huh.

Looking at my side, I can see Yuigahama's agape expression. On the contrary to her expectation, I was suspecting that he valued this club a lot more than he let on. Recently, I was aware of my own weakness of reading social situations, and thus, I decided to pay more attention to my surroundings. And so, a small psychological profile about Hikigaya was built within my mind.

His relaxed demeanor in our club compared to the close-off-ness he is when outside. The usual apathetic dead-fish gaze of his turned to… something else with us in the room.

An earlier version of me would probably fear for my own safety, but now?

I think we are making progress on him.

But now, there is a new obstacle to our goal of reforming him, and I am not sure what it was. Not with my current skill in empathy.

Maybe I am justifying the reason to read this most likely private journal of his, saying to myself that this would help us understand him, that with reading this, we can help him get passed… whatever that was.

But I am still violating his privacy, and I disgust myself for even think about doing so.

Still…

"Hikky…" Yuigahama muttered, looking at her own portrayal on the page. It was a picture of a smiling Yuigahama, enthusiastic in the body language.

My own portrayal is much more subdued, with a neutral expression and a… gleam in my picture's eye.

Is this how he saw me? An impeccable person with larger-than-life thoughts?

I can't help but feel disappointment at that thought.

"Let's read, shall we? Gaining insights into his logic would be beneficial to helping him… I think." I justified, more to myself than to Yuigahama.

I flipped to the first page.

"I thought long and hard about what to put in the first page. It has to be something that would remind me of my own philosophy, lest I stray from it somewhere down the line. If it becomes irrelevant or cringy later on, then so be it; it can be something that reminds me of the failure in the past.

Fuck that's edgy.

Anyway, it was with that thought that I decide to put my own 'Looking back at your high school experience' essay in here. In my humble opinion, it captures a lot of my own 'essence', so to speak.

Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil…"

It was an interesting hour with Yuigahama, that afternoon. But it was worth it.

I wanted to understand him, after all. And with that journal, we had a glimpse at something, someone wrapped within their true thoughts. And for a moment, Yuigahama and I could understand him in the twisted way Hachiman processed the world around him.

It was fascinating, to say the least.

A/N: For the purpose of the story, just imagine them reading Oregairu, up to after the Ebina confession arc. Anyway, which direction should this story go? I haven't made any mental outline as of yet, so any suggestion would be appreciated.