A/N: Little Jily one-shot for your downtime, or your crazy time, whichever boat you currently fall in. :)
It felt like James' life was full of "almost," at least where one Lily Evans was concerned.
He almost told her how he felt in A-Levels. They'd been sitting alone in an empty classroom after classes were done for the day and she told him what a great bloke he was. He nearly pulled his hair out as he told her she was barmy instead of how much he liked her.
He almost kissed her during their first year at university when she came up to his flat for help with her biology paper. She'd looked up at him with those gorgeous green eyes while she went on and on about how grateful she was for the help. He nearly broke the tabletop as he gripped it to keep from pulling her into him and pressing his lips to hers.
He almost punched a wall when she casually mentioned her new boyfriend at the start of their second year of university. Sirius told him it served him right.
He almost told her to dump said boyfriend when he found her at a house party alone. He almost laid in his bed with her when he brought her back to his flat to recover. Instead, he slept on the couch. Remus told him he'd done the right thing, but James wondered what would have happened if he hadn't.
He almost walked out of the room when Lily announced her engagement.
He almost told her he couldn't make it to her wedding.
He almost walked in the door to the ceremony hall.
He almost told her he had to leave in person. Instead, he sent a text that simply said, "sorry," before turning off his phone and jumping in his car.
James sat at a patio table at their favorite cafe while the woman he'd loved from afar for years said "I do" to someone else.
He pushed his hands into his hair and rested his elbows on the table.
He was pathetic.
Why hadn't he ever said something? He'd had a decade worth of opportunities. But he'd been a coward. His cowardice stemmed from the fact that they were friends and he didn't want to lose that. Friendship with Lily seemed better than risking not having Lily in his life at all.
But James could see that Sirius had been right, he was an idiot.
Because this, knowing she was going to spend the rest of her life with someone else, it hurt worse than anything James could have imagined. This made his chest cramp and his jaw clench. This made his gut twist and his and his breathing go shallow. This made him want to curl into a ball.
At least if he had said something, had told her how he felt and she had rejected him he would have some sense of closure. But now, every what-if bombarded him like rapid gunfire. The one that left the widest wound was the possibility that it might have been him standing at the end of that aisle today instead of sitting here alone with his white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
"James Potter, I am going to kill you!"
Great, now he was hallucinating things. At least James thought he was until a firm hand grabbed his shoulder.
James looked up to see one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Lily Evans in a wedding dress, her hair pulled up into an intricate style, her gorgeous green eyes hard as steel, and her face flushed.
"Where the hell do you come off sending me a text saying "sorry" and then turning off your bloody phone before disappearing?! I was worried sick! I swear, I should toss your stupid arse in the Thames!"
James blinked. "You're, you're here."
"Of course I am!" Lily plopped down in the seat next to him and kicked at her dress.
His ability to think returned and James shook his head. "Lily you're supposed to be walking down the aisle right now."
"Well, obviously, I'm not." Lily didn't meet his gaze.
"Lils," James tried to catch her eye. "Why, exactly, are you not walking down the aisle?"
Lily made a sound James could only describe as a growl.
"You're awful, you know."
James huffed. "I'm well aware, but how does that play into you not currently getting married?"
"I don't know." Lily grabbed his water glass. "I got your text, and Sirius didn't know where you were, and Remus hadn't seen you, and you weren't responding, and I just, nothing mattered until I knew you were alright."
"I didn't mean to worry you. I…" James trailed off, not sure he could finish the sentence he should have said for the last decade he'd known her.
"It's over though," Lily looked down at her French tipped nails. "He wasn't happy that I wanted to postpone the ceremony to go and find you. Told me he was done."
James blinked. He knew he had to say something. Her wedding had just been ruined because he disappeared.
"I literally couldn't believe him, James. You could have been ready to jump to your death and he was mad at me for needing to make sure you were alright. You think you know someone and then…"
"I left because I'm in love with you."
James stared straight down at the table. He'd said it, like a coward but at least now she knew why he ran, the real reason her wedding hadn't even started. It was quiet a beat before she spoke.
"How long, do you think, do you think you've loved me?"
James would have almost preferred her to storm off rather than ask a question like that.
"Oh, since I met you." James let out a long breath.
"You're impossible, James."
"I'm sorry," James went to say more but stopped when Lily kicked him under the table.
"You should be! Do you know how long and how hard I tried to get you to make a move?!"
"Wait, what?" James finally looked up at her.
"Yes! I only started dating around when you completely ignored every advance I made!"
"You, you made advances? At me?"
"Yes, Sherlock, I, Lily Evans, made romantic advances at you, James Potter, and accepted that you weren't into me and I might as well try and live my life."
James felt like he'd been smacked across the face with a frying pan.
"Lils," he started but she cut him off.
"You owe me food."
"What?"
"Look, I spent the last decade wondering if you'd ever love me back and since you did actually love me back that entire freaking time and wouldn't make any move to show it, you owe me food. I'm starving."
James couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.
"I think I owe you more than food."
He pulled her to stand with him and ran a gentle hand from her cheek down her neck before dropping his lips to hers.
He could have died right there. She was soft and sweet and electricity coursed through him as her hands went straight for his hair. He pulled her flush against him and bit back the moan as her fingers tightened their grip. He brushed his tongue against her lips and felt his heart skip a beat as her tongue met his.
How had he denied himself of this? For ten years no less?
James knew one thing though, he wasn't going to survive without it now.
"I'm not saying we should go back and put on a wedding, but you really shouldn't get rid of your dress." He smiled against her lips before kissing her again.
"It's bad luck now," Lily sighed.
"Nah," James slid his hands over the soft white silk. "It's the luckiest dress in the world."
Lily laughed before capturing his lips again.
And when James watched Lily walk down the aisle to him in that exact dress, he knew that not only was her dress lucky but that he was definitely the luckiest man to ever walk the face of the planet.