A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you're all staying safe and healthy. I've been delaying posting this story because I like to have a clear outline of how I want things to unfold before posting, and the flow of this story is still a bit murky ... but ... it's such a crazy time and it has been a whirlwind of a week for me on so many fronts, I thought a new story might help. I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and I'd love to hear from you!

The Way We Were

Memories light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories of the way we were
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were

"They don't have this in Seattle, do they?"

Addison tracks Sam's outstretched arm with her eyes. She's on her deck; he's on his neighboring deck, and he's pointing at the ocean that is their backyard.

She watches for a moment. Watches the waves gently crash against the shoreline and recede back into the ocean. Their pattern predictable, their noise serene.

"Seattle definitely doesn't have this," she agrees cheerfully. But it's forced.

"Yeah," Sam smiles in satisfaction. "You can't beat LA. Warm weather all year round, good people, good food … Seattle has no business even trying to compete."

Addison chuckles. But, again, it's not sincere. Everything Sam is saying is technically true, and yet somehow it still rings false to her.

"Well, I've got dinner in the oven that I've got to check on," he continues, gesturing vaguely toward his house. "See you tomorrow, bright and early."

She nods, says her goodbyes, and returns her attention to the waves.

To anyone else, this would be relaxing. This would be blissful.

But it's a little too early in the day—a little too early in the week, for that matter—for this to be any of those things.

She glances at her watch. It's just after 5pm on a Tuesday, and she's home from work. That's the way it is at private practice, she's learning. You see your two to three patients and leave. Last minute emergency surgeries are few and far between. Everyone gets in at 9, everyone leaves at 5. Sometimes earlier.

Which is how she's in the position she's in—home from work at an unreasonably early hour (for her, at least) on a Tuesday.

She supposes it's not all bad. She could use her newfound free time to pick up hobby. A book club, maybe? She's never had time to join one in the past. And it might be good for her to socialize with people who aren't doctors. Or she could take up hiking. Except she's not outdoorsy.

She's so busy contemplating the logistics of indoor hiking she nearly misses the sound of her phone buzzing.

"Addison Montgomery," she answers, not bothering to check who's calling.

"Addie? I'm surprised I caught you."

"Savvy?" A wide smile forms on Addison's face at the sound of her friend's unmistakable voice.

"Are you in between surgeries? Do you have time to talk."

"I have time to talk," Addison nods, purposefully evading her friend's first question. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Savvy reassures quickly. "I just wanted to remind you about Weiss' surprise party next week."

"Next week?" She'd completely forgotten about it.

"I know," Savvy agrees sensing the surprise in her friend's voice. "It came up fast. It feels like just yesterday we were hashing out the details."

Except it doesn't. Not to Addison. Those conversations about surprising Weiss with a weekend in the Hamptons for his fortieth birthday feel like a lifetime ago. As far as she's concerned, they were a lifetime ago.

It was obvious they'd celebrate in the Hamptons. Weiss loves it there. And it would be off season, so they'd be able to do whatever they want.

It seemed like a great idea at the time. But now she can't help thinking about the property that she and Derek own there. That she owns there, actually. Derek left it to her in the divorce.

All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle and I never want to see you again.

"Addie?"

She blinks at the sound of Savvy's voice ripping her from her thoughts.

"You're still coming, right?"

"I ..."

"I know you said you'd come, but with everything that's happened over the last several months, I'd get it if you didn't. It's just ... it would mean so much to Weiss if you were there. And to me."

What's she supposed to say to that? That she just started a new job and now's not really a good time for her to go away.

She can't say that, even if she wants to. Savvy and Weiss have been there for her, without fail. Of course, she's going to be there for Weiss' fortieth.

"Sav, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Oh, I'm so glad."

And Addison swears she can hear her friend grinning widely through the phone.

There's just one thing.

"Uh, Savvy ...?"

"Yes?"

"When I RSVP-ed yes all those months ago, Derek and I were still married. So ... I'm pretty sure I RSVP-ed yes for both of us."

"You did," Savvy says slowly ... cautiously — dragging out every syllable. "And that's part of the reason I wanted to talk to you."

And Addison can see where this is heading.

"Derek is one of Weiss' closest friends ... you know that, Addie."

Admittedly, she does know that.

"You know Weiss and I are on your side ... always and without question. You know that too, right?"

"I know that."

"Good," Savvy breathes a sigh of relief. "So if you don't want Derek there then—"

"Did he say he'd come?"

"I haven't called him yet," Savvy says quickly. "I wanted to talk about it with you first. I just—"

"I don't think he'll come, Sav."

"He might."

She's not surprised by Savvy's optimism. Savvy's a glass half full person by nature. But Savvy also has a husband who's consistently there ... who consistently shows up.

"I'll do whatever you're comfortable with," Savvy reiterates, cutting into Addison's thoughts. "I definitely understand if Derek's the last person you want to see right now."

"It's not that." Okay, technically, it's a little bit of that. "Savvy, it's Weiss' weekend, and if he wants Derek to be there, then … who am I to say no?"

"Are you saying that because you mean it? Or are you saying it because you think there's a snowball's chance in hell that Derek's actually going to show up?" Savvy asks knowingly.

"That's beside the point," Addison responds primly.

"Addie, it's me, remember? I'm on your side. You don't have to pretend with me."

Addison swallows roughly at that. It's been so long since she's had someone in her corner, she almost forgot what it feels like.

"Derek wants nothing more than to erase his past," Addison begins delicately. "And not just the Addison-and-Derek chapter of his life. He doesn't speak to his family. He doesn't call his mother or sisters on their birthdays, or even holidays. He'd deny that he's able to identify a Louboutin pump or a—"

"He would have denied that when he was married too," Savvy points out.

"True," Addison concedes. "But the general premise still stands. And while the big birthday weekend that you have planned sounds amazing, it also represents a piece of Derek's life that right now he wants to pretend never existed."

"Addie."

It's impossible to miss the sympathy in Savvy's voice. And sympathy is not something she's used to getting when it comes to her and Derek and the breakdown of her marriage.

Admittedly, it feels odd.

Derek had cast her as Satan, and over time she kind of started to believe him.

"I'm fine with you inviting him, Sav."

The words tumble from her mouth so quickly, so impulsively, she's almost not sure she said them.

And Savvy seems just as surprised. "Um, are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Really? Because if you—"

"No," Addison interrupts. "This is Weiss' big weekend. Derek and I can be civil ... if he even comes, that is."

"Which you don't think he will."

"I'll bet you a cocktail he won't."

"I'll take that bet," Savvy says quickly. "I mean, despite what Derek wants to believe, you know him better than anyone. So if you don't think he'll come, you're probably right. But I have to try."

Addison knows she does. She wouldn't be Savvy if she didn't. No matter how impossible a situation seemed, Savvy always gave it a fighting chance.

And she can't help thinking about her marriage and how she wishes her ex-husband would have done the same.

xxxxx

She hates surprises. She always has. In the OR, she knows how to adapt to them—it's what makes her good at her job. But in general, she prefers to be the expert. She prefers not to be caught off guard.

Which is why she appreciated Savvy letting her know ahead of time that Derek would be coming to Weiss' birthday celebration. Although Savvy had to repeat it five times before it actually sank in.

A part of her still doesn't believe that Derek will actually be there, but Savvy wouldn't lie to her. So she did what anyone would do before spending a weekend with their ex-husband.

She prepared.

Bought new outfits — check.

Purchased a new, killer lipstick — check.

Got her hair done — of course.

Swapped margaritas for water when she went out with her coworkers after work — yes, and that one wasn't easy.

Practiced saying, "Derek, what are you doing here?" at least a thousand times — that one needs more work to be convincing; she's a doctor not an actor.

So when she sees him walk into the living room of Savvy and Weiss' Hamptons house, wearing a flannel shirt and light blue jeans, she's not surprised.

He, however, is. But not to see her. His eyes are fixed squarely on the person she's talking to.

"Nancy," he says pointedly as he walks over to where Addison and his older sister are standing, deep in conversation. "What are you doing here?"

"That's the type of greeting I get?" Nancy raises her eyebrow unimpressed. "John and I are close friends with Savvy and Weiss." She gestures to her husband who's sitting on the couch, completely oblivious to the awkwardness that's so palpable to everyone else. "And we've only gotten closer with them since you left the east coast."

"Oh." What else can he really say?

"I didn't realize this was a costume party," Nancy continues, eyeing Derek's outfit critically. "Why did you choose to be a lumberjack?"

"I'm not a lumberjack, Nancy," Derek insists defensively. "This isn't a costume. These are my clothes."

"Oh," Nancy chuckles. She looks at Addison questioningly and Addison shrugs in response. "Then it's a little early in the season for flannel, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't care about vapid things like that."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to present yourself well," Nancy defends. "And you can spare me the speech on inner beauty. We're old enough to know that—"

"Derek," Nancy's husband, John, interrupts, shaking Derek's hand jovially. "I didn't see you walk in. It's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," Derek nods. He's always liked John. He's easygoing and carefree—so unlike most of the people in Derek's life—and the perfect counter to Nancy's high-maintenance personality.

"John," Nancy cuts in, "Savvy and Weiss are going to be here soon. Would you mind helping me double check that everything is set up the way Savvy wants it?"

"I can help you," Addison volunteers quickly.

"You had a long flight," Nancy waves her off. "You should relax. John is more than capable of helping."

John nods in agreement, and before Addison has the chance to object her former sister and brother-in-law have disappeared into the kitchen.

And she realizes that all that time she spent rehearsing the line, "Derek, what are you doing here?" was a waste. Because she has clearly missed her chance to say it.

She needs to find a better opening line.

xxxxx

The role reversal astounds him. Between the two of them, she's always been the one who struggled more with long, awkward silences.

But she's not saying anything. And the silence is starting to get to him.

Ask her about her flight. Ask her about LA. Ask her about work. Just talk about something neutral.

"Your hair ..."

The words come out of his mouth as if independent from his brain. Her hair certainly isn't something neutral.

It wasn't a neutral topic when she brought up his hair in Seattle, and it certainly isn't a neutral topic now. Still, it was the first thing he noticed.

"It's different," he continues against his better judgment. "Lighter."

"It's from being in the sun," Addison explains simply ... clinically. "I'm home by 5 most days."

"5 in the morning?" He raises an eyebrow.

"5 at night," she corrects. "If you can even call 5 pm nighttime. Anyway," she continues with a shrug, "I have time to sit out on my deck while it's still light out."

"It's pretty," Derek smiles.

"What?"

"Your hair. I like it."

Again, so much for neutral conversation. But what rule is there that says an ex-husband can't compliment his ex-wife's hair? It's harmless. Polite, even. And apparently, it's rendered her speechless.

"You don't like it, do you?"

She looks at him in surprise. "My hair?"

"No, your job." He gives her a small smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges. "We already established that your hair looks good." He studies her closely, all hints of lightheartedness gone from his eyes now. "You don't like your job."

"Derek, what are you doing?"

"What do mean what am I doing?" He holds up his hands innocently. "I'm asking you about work. I'm making small talk. It's what divorced couples that are still friends do."

Except it's not small talk. Not to her, at least. Small talk would be discussing interesting surgeries or developments in their respective fields.

His assessment—his statement, not question—that she doesn't like her job is not small talk. Because, of course, he's right. And it's a painful reminder of how well he still knows her. And it's an equally painful reminder that her fresh start in LA isn't quite panning out the way she'd hoped.

"Are you seeing your family while you're here?" she asks, purposefully evading his question and opting for small talk that's actually neutral.

"Well, Nancy's kind of unavoidable," he grumbles, gesturing toward the kitchen for emphasis. "How about you?"

"I have lunch plans with Lizzie on Tuesday." She looks down at her hands and studies her manicured fingernails intently. "I was able to push back my patient appointments at the practice. It's the beauty of a lighter schedule, I guess."

He wants to prod deeper at that last point. There's a difference between a lighter schedule and a boring schedule, and he has a feeling her schedule is the latter and not the former. He wants to prod deeper, but he's hung up on the first thing she said. Her plans to have lunch with his sister. When he asked if she had plans to see family, he meant her family, not his.

Divorces are all about winning and losing. He knows that. But how did she manage to win his family in the divorce?

He's about to ask her that when Nancy and John emerge from the kitchen.

"Savvy just texted," Nancy gestures to her phone. "They'll be here any minute."

"Should we hide?" John asks.

Derek shakes his head. "I think we're a little old for that."

"Coming from a man who's dating a twelve-year-old," Addison mutters under her breath.

"Isn't that rich?" Derek hisses through gritted teeth. "A moral judgement coming from someone with no morals."

"You know what? I don't think we need to hide," Nancy cuts in loudly. "I'm wearing a nice pair of pants and I'd rather not wrinkle them. Let's just stand by the entryway."

The four adults gather by the entryway and Nancy gives her brother a pointed look. "Don't be petty."

"What?" Derek objects, his eyes wide. "She started it."

Nancy blinks, unimpressed. "Derek, look around. Do you see my children anywhere?"

"No."

"Exactly. This is my weekend away. So I don't want to hear another word about who started it. Got it, Paul Bunyan?"

Derek shakes his head disapprovingly. "You're not funny," he tells his sister drily.

"I'm not trying to be funny," Nancy says seriously. "Just—"

But she's cut off by the sound of someone trying to open the front door.

"Surprise!" they chorus as Savvy ushers Weiss into the house.

"What?" Weiss does a double take and looks at Savvy for confirmation.

"Happy birthday, Honey," Savvy beams.

And Addison has to admit the exchange makes her heart ache. The way that Savvy and Weiss interact with each other—so clearly and undeniably in love—reminds her of what she used to have ... what she stupidly threw away.

Shared looks, shared dreams, shared life.

Once upon a time, that was her and Derek. Now, they can hardly be in the same room with each other.

And she can't help replaying their brief interaction. He complimented her hair, and she made a quip about his girlfriend. Because it was easier than having an actual conversation. He fought back—just like she knew he would—and that was easier.

"Were you really surprised, Weiss?" Savvy's words rip Addison from her thoughts.

"Completely surprised," Weiss grins. "You guys got me."

Only the biggest surprise is yet to come.

Weiss' eyes land on Derek; apparently, he's just noticed him.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, the anger in his voice evident.

Addison blinks in surprise. And she's not the only one. She's seen Weiss angry before; that's not new. But the venom in his voice right now ... that's completely new to her. And based on Derek's silence, she assumes it's new to him too.

"I said what are you doing here?" Weiss repeats, his eyes flashing.

"I—"

"You know what? Don't bother responding, Derek," Weiss snaps. "Because the truth is, I don't care. I really don't. Just ... get out of my house."

"Weiss," Savvy intercedes, placing a gentle hand on her husband's wrist.

But Weiss shakes it off roughly and turns his attention back to Derek, his voice booming. "Get out of my house now."

"Weiss, you don't mean that," Savvy tries, as if saying it out loud will make it true.

"Of course I mean it," Weiss insists. He turns his attention to Derek, a look of pure disgust in his eyes. "You know just because you didn't bother to keep in touch doesn't mean I don't know every last pathetic detail of what you've been up to in Seattle. So, you've got a lot of nerve to show up here dressed like a woodsman and expecting everyone to be okay with you after everything you pulled and the way you treated Addison."

He gestures toward Addison for emphasis; and Addison, wishes she melt into the floor. She knows how these types of conversations usually go.

"In case you forgot, Weiss, she cheated first," Derek defends quietly.

"How could I forget?" Weiss retorts. "It's all you ever talk about. And that line may work for you in Seattle. But unlike your Seattle posse, I'm not twelve years old, and I don't find you the least bit McDreamy ... so that line kind of falls flat for me."

Derek raises an eyebrow. "McDreamy?"

"Yeah. Like I said, just because you didn't care enough to call and see how I was doing doesn't mean I stopped asking Addison how you were doing."

"Then you got a biased story," Derek points out.

"It's better than the non-story I got from you. And my bet is that in Addison's version of things, you probably came off better than you deserved to." He shakes his head angrily. "You can leave now."

Derek looks at Savvy helplessly and Savvy shrugs at him equally helplessly.

"Okay," Derek says quietly.

And Addison and Nancy exchange a look of confusion.

Derek's leaving. After flying all this way, he's leaving.

Derek shrugs. "This is your weekend, Weiss. You call the shots." He looks at Weiss who's standing there with his arms folded across his chest, steadfast – and doesn't seem to be wavering from his decision.

So Derek does the only thing he can do. He retrieves his suitcase from the room that was designated his for the weekend and says his goodbyes.

He gives Weiss a reluctant handshake. "Happy birthday," he says with as much kindness as he can muster.

He hugs Nancy. "Text me when you make it back to Seattle," she tells him. And he can't help noticing that she doesn't use the word home.

"I will," he promises. And he notices that he doesn't use the word either.

He hugs Savvy. "I'm so sorry," she whispers.

"Not your fault," he whispers back.

And he hugs Addison. "I hope the job gets better soon," he tells her quietly.

"Thanks, Derek," she whispers, her warm breath tickling his skin the same way it has a million times in the past.

"And ..." he continues, lowering his voice even further. "Whatever you're doing to your hair ... I like it."

And then he's gone. He's never been one to make a dramatic entrance or exit, and this time is no different.

"Wait."

Addison whirls around to face Weiss, who's staring at the door looking conflicted.

"This isn't right," Weiss shakes his head. "He shouldn't have to go. It isn't right."

"Then how about you go set it right?" Savvy suggests.

"I ..." Weiss hesitates.

"You don't have time to sit back and debate this," Savvy prods.

"It's just ..." Weiss stares at the closed front door, conflicted. "No, I'll get him."

Savvy nods in approval and opens the door for Weiss so he can sprint outside.

"Derek, wait! Hey, Derek, wait up!"

Derek turns in surprise and sees Weiss running toward him.

"Weiss?" Derek raises an eyebrow and stops dead in his tracks, allowing Weiss to catch up to him. "What's going on?"

"Two things," Weiss pants, hands on his knees, breathing heavily. "First, I need to start adding sprints to my workouts. Second," he gasps, trying to normalize his breathing rate, "you should stay."

"What?"

"You should stay," Weiss repeats. His breathing has evened out and he sounds like himself again. "I'm still angry at you, but you did make the trip all the way out here, so you should stay. But," he continues, "I do have one favor to ask you."

"I'll change my shirt," Derek grumbles.

"That would be nice," Weiss admits. "But that's not what I'm referring to." He looks at Derek seriously. "This weekend, things need to be the way they were. I know in Seattle you can pretend that the last eleven-plus years never happened. But you can't do that here. We know you too well. So just for the weekend, let's try to go back to the way things used to be."

Derek quirks an eyebrow. "The way we were?"

"Exactly."

"It's not that easy," Derek sighs. "Her affair changed things."

"Her affair and your affair," Weiss reminds his friend coolly. "Not to mention your indifference and the way you treated her in Seattle."

"But that was only because—"

"Just stop, Derek. I'm not one of your twelve-year-olds back in Seattle. Addison's no angel, I get that. But you're also not the innocent victim you keep claiming to be." He runs a hand through his hair and continues more neutrally. "Maybe you can't go back to the way you were, but maybe you can give the guy you became in Seattle the weekend off. Just for this weekend."

Derek nods, letting Weiss' words sink in. Quite frankly, he's a bit worn down from everything. "I can try."

"Try?" Weiss looks at him pointedly. "The Derek I used to know would have done a lot more than try."

"Fine, Weiss, I'll do it," Derek sighs, more to put an end to the conversation than anything else. "Consider it my birthday present to you."

"If that's the way you want to see it," Weiss shrugs. "But just so you know, I'm considering it my early Christmas present to you."