To Hope

By Steampunk . Chuckster

Summary: Bryce led Chuck to believe he had to keep Sarah at arm's length after she couldn't take that shot because of her feelings for him, if only for her own safety. But what if Sarah got a chance to talk first as they sat on the edge of the fountain? An alternate take on the scene at the end of Chuck Versus the Break-Up. Canon AU. One-shot. Charah.

A/N: Things are getting legitimately frightening in the world and I am setting out to try to take folks' minds off of everything for a little while. Bring some fun and happiness into people's brains even if momentarily. We're all in this together, friends. We'll get through it if we're kind and safe. So while you're socially distancing and keeping inside, I hope you enjoy the flurry of one-shots and snippets I'll be posting as we all wait this out.

He had Bryce's voice trapped in his head as he plopped down on the edge of the fountain, waiting for the sound of the light clicking of Sarah's boot heels as she came into the courtyard, trying to prepare himself for what he had to do.

He didn't know if there was some ulterior motive to what Bryce had said to him. But the truth was, Sarah hadn't taken that shot. And he knew why she hadn't. There was a chance that bullet would go through his head instead of his captor's. And it had made her halt. She'd second-guessed herself.

If that happened again, she might be the one getting shot.

And he knew what Bryce expected from him.

Chuck Bartowski knew what he probably should do. When she arrived, he would tell her that this wouldn't work. And to be honest, he wasn't sure if it even could. Whether he told her what Bryce wanted him to tell her or not. He'd never be enough for her, and that was how he really felt.

After he eventually got the Intersect out of his head, she'd be off quelling a revolution somewhere with a fork, and he'd still be here, fixing someone's computer, wishing for someone to be there for him to talk to after a long day.

Maybe he was selfish, wanting to be with someone who loved him as much as he loved her, and maybe he'd always wonder with Sarah. Because she was living this adventurous life, meeting carbon copies of Agent Bryce Larkin with good hair and pretty faces, and the guys who existed out there who were super ripped and enigmatic and seductive.

But good ol' Chuck was back home and he could make her laugh!

He scoffed at himself and shook his head.

He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to tell her this. He wasn't ready to shut that door. But what if he had to? What if that was the thing that would keep her safe and alive? If he pushed her away, she might stop second-guessing herself, she'd stop dwelling on him and his safety so much that she slipped, her decisions wouldn't be so clouded.

But he still wanted her.

He wanted everything with her.

He wanted this thing out of his damn head so that he could at least have a chance at being with her. More regular dates between two regular people.

Even though she was so completely not regular.

Which was why he was so crazy about her, wasn't it?

He heard the boot heels clicking then, just lightly against the stone floor of the courtyard. It sounded almost tentative, like she hadn't expected to see him waiting out here. The footsteps paused for a good five seconds, and then she swept in next to him and smiled down at him as he looked up. "Hey," she breathed, sitting on the fountain next to him.

"Hey." How? How did she throw a flowy black tank top on over some jeans and manage to look like the best thing he'd ever seen in his life? And why right now when he had to do the hardest thing he'd ever had to do?

"Everything okay?" She asked, and again, it sounded tentative. Like she could tell there was a whole lot on his mind.

"Yeah!" he chirped. He could hear how unconvincing it was and he saw in her slight, closed-mouth smile that she saw right through it. "I, uh, I just have a few things that I wanted to…say…before we go inside for dinner."

She nodded. "Me too, actually."

They both launched in at the same time then. Chuck stopped, awkwardly meeting her eyes and chuckling. She giggled and hugged herself, looking a little uncomfortable, unsure. And he suddenly wanted to know what she had to say. Especially because she seemed disquieted by whatever it was.

"You go," he said softly.

She lifted her gaze to his and nodded, wetting her lips. "Look, I know how it must have seemed to everyone earlier. I know what Bryce and you and Casey are all assuming. At least, I'm pretty sure. That I didn't have the guts to pull that trigger because I'm…compromised." She huffed, then sent him a bit of a shy look. "You don't have to say anything, I know already."

He swallowed. "Are you? …Compromised?" he added for clarity.

Sarah rolled her head back and looked up at the sky for a few seconds, and then she shut her eyes, lowering her head, opening her eyes again, and meeting his gaze. "Yes. Of course I am. But I need you to know that I don't regret not pulling that trigger." He blinked, not expecting that. "I'm a good spy. I've always been a good spy, and I think I…still am a good spy. But part of that is not killing your asset. I didn't have the shot. I didn't have the angle. And there was no way I was bargaining with your life like that. If Bryce hadn't been there to take her out, I would've found another way. Because that's what I do. But the chance of missing, of hitting you instead of her? It was way, way too high for me to take that shot. I'm one of the best shots in the CIA, but I'm human. Part of this job is finding a way to keep innocent people safe, it isn't just about the mission."

A warmth spilled through him, and a certain amount of pride too. He found he was proud to know her. And lucky, so freaking lucky, that she'd been sent to his side instead of some other CIA agent who didn't give half a shit what happened to innocent people.

"You're amazing," he breathed. She softened at that, ducking her head a bit and tucking her hair behind her ear. "No, I mean that, Sarah. I really do. I…I didn't think you didn't take the shot because you're a bad spy or whatever. For the record. I figured you didn't take the shot because you didn't want to shoot me. And I hope I'm not being too controversial here when I say you really need no other reason besides that one."

She giggled. "Yeah I don't think I do, either."

Chuck just smiled at her, taking her in. Not only was she the most bad ass person he'd ever met in his entire life, she also had an incredible heart. And… "Sarah, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." Her eyes widened a bit at that, but she didn't look away for even a second. "You're brilliantly smart, you're beautiful, you have this big heart that refuses to let up for even a second, you laugh at all of my stupid jokes." She sniffed in amusement and looked down finally, a blush on her face. "And you have this horrible habit of constantly saving my life."

Sarah beamed at him, shaking her head in amusement. She hugged herself, not looking all that comfortable with the way he was singing her praises. He wondered if anyone had ever sat her down and told her things like this. If they hadn't, they absolutely should have.

"The truth is, Sarah, you're everything I ever wanted and more." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He couldn't read her face, but he was going to go for it anyway. "The last few days—that's a lie, basically from the very beginning of all of this, I've found myself thinking about whether or not there's a future here. I've wondered what it might be like if I actually got the Intersect out of my head, what might happen with us, if we could actually be together for real. Real dates. No guns. No interruptions by bad guys who are built like tanks." She held herself tighter, her lips twitching. Her blue eyes were widening even more with every moment he spoke, but he kept going. "No fake relationships, no covers, no lies. I want that. I mean, I want it now. Obviously I want it so bad right now it actually, like…physically hurts my insides."

She took another deep breath, and he could see it. The mask had fallen. There was ache in her features. She looked the way he felt. And he'd never wanted to be with someone as much as he wanted to be with her in that moment.

"But Bryce…" He cleared his throat, seeing the way she looked almost stricken by the suddenness of him bringing up that name. "After you didn't take that shot, I think it legitimately concerned him. Apparently, he's under the impression that you've taken that shot before. When it wasn't me in that position."

Sarah squirmed in discomfort. "He's right. I have. But…it was him. He was the one in that position. And he's a CIA agent. He's not you. He's not an asset, he doesn't have the Intersect in his head. He signed up for this work. I took the shot, and I made it. There are a million different reasons why I wouldn't take it when it was you instead."

"Is one of them that you like me better?" He raised his eyebrows, letting her know he was only kidding a little bit. "Because he made it pretty clear that's what he thinks. That you didn't take that shot because of your…feelings for me."

"I'm not going to lie, that's part of it. But I'm here to protect you. And I've been at this for all of my adult life so far. I feel like I've earned the right to be trusted to make the right decision in a moment like that. And maybe Bryce didn't trust me in that moment and that's why he took the shot. That's why he's afraid I'm compromised to the point where I…can't do my job. Apparently." There was a thread of annoyance on her face, but under it, he thought he sensed some hurt too.

"I don't trust anyone on this planet with my safety more than I trust you."

"Even though I'm compromised?" she asked, a tinge of bitterness to her tone.

"Especially because you're compromised." She gave him a surprised look. "Nobody in this whole Operation Intersect thing cares about what happens to me more than you do. Maybe that doesn't mean anything to them. But it means a whole hell of a lot to me. And if you tell me you can care about me and still do your job well, I don't need to hear more than that, because I trust you."

She sighed, looking away. "Why did Bryce tell you that? That I'm compromised?"

"He thinks this…thing we have going on between us… Well, he doesn't just think it's made you compromised, he thinks it's made you unsafe. He thinks it might get you killed someday. The way you hesitated…it worried him."

He nibbled on his lip nervously. "To be honest with you, a large part of me was going to try to tell you I don't think we can have a future because of that. Because I care about you, because I don't want you getting hurt because of me."

"I'm a spy, Chuck, a CIA agent. My whole reason for being here is to protect you, even if that means I lose my own life. Same with Casey."

"I know," he said. It hurt him to hear her say that. She couldn't know how much. "The idea of something happening to you because you are too worried about what might happen to me kind of makes me feel a little crazy, though. You know that, right?"

She nodded slowly, not looking at him. "Yeah, I know. Whether I have feelings for you or not, my job is my job. And nothing is gonna stop me from doing whatever I have to do to protect you. Taking a shot like that, when the chances of hitting you instead are so high? It'd be nuts."

"I had a lot of things I wanted to say here, things I felt like I should say… And wherever he is, Bryce is probably gonna be disappointed in me for not saying it. Maybe there's a lot of stuff in the way right now, in the way of us having something…real, I mean. But—and I hope you don't mind me saying this—I'm not about to let any of it stop me from trying. Maybe we can't have anything real…right now. And maybe even when we can, it'll still be super hard. You off somewhere across the world doing spy things, me sitting here playing video games after a long day at the Buy More." He chuckled, shaking his head as she nibbled on the inside of her cheek. "But I still can't stop trying. Hoping. I'm willing to work for it. To fight for it. For you."

Sarah took a deep breath, and he felt the nerves he'd felt at not being able to read her dissipate as she smiled at him. And then she dropped her hand on his and squeezed, threading their fingers. "I'm not sure how much I can get away with saying here."

"Because of the bugs?"

"I had them turned off," she said, shaking her head. He widened his eyes. "I have a little bit of control over this operation. Just a little." She smirked, shrugging one shoulder cutely. "What if I told you that all I could give you was hope? If you want to keep fighting for it, I'll…fight, too," she said then. "But getting you out of this situation in one piece, getting the Intersect out of your head? That's my first priority. Getting you your normal life back. But you have to know, once that happens, if you still want this…if you still want me…Well, I'm not exactly normal. And our relationship won't be very normal, either."

"I know." He shrugged. "And I'm taking it seriously, I promise I am. But I'm one hundred percent certain you're worth it."

Her features melted and she leaned into his arm, letting her forehead tip against his jaw. She sighed heavily and held onto his bicep in both hands, squeezing. "And in the meantime? I need you to be careful about who you listen to. I don't doubt Bryce's intentions to do good. But he doesn't know what's best for me. Or for you. We make those decisions ourselves."

"You're right." Then he paused. "Can I kiss you?"

She huffed in amusement and pulled back, a pleased smile on her face. He spotted the blush again. "I don't think it's a good idea out here. Just in case. The bugs are off, the cameras are off, but…Casey's window is right there."

Chuck felt disappointment but he understood.

"When we're inside the apartment and have a cover to maintain, however…"

He spun to look at her and she nodded.

"Shall we go inside?" he asked.

Sarah took his hand and he stood, pulling her up next to him. Hand in hand, they walked up to the door. He looked down at their hands, intertwined, hope spilling out of him.

Ellie ripped the door open then. "Ugh! Finally! What took you two so long? Everything okay?" she asked, ushering them inside.

"Yeah, yeah. All good. Just been a while since I've gotten to see my girlfriend alone for more than a few seconds," Chuck covered, sliding his arm around Sarah's waist.

"Hey, Sarah!" Devon called from the kitchen.

And when he made to step away from her as she waved to his future brother-in-law, her hands caught his shirt and pulled him back. Moving onto her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his, sliding her hand up to cup his jaw.

It didn't last long, but for all Chuck knew, it was both too short, and the longest kiss of his life. When she pulled back, he blinked his eyes open and looked at her. Things had changed. A tide. Whatever. Something was different, and then everything was different.

Hope was more than enough, he knew as they finally went to the table to join Ellie and Devon. He could live on hope and hope alone, for the rest of his damn life.

A/N: I do not have it in me to do more than a one-shot on this. I know there are a million different trajectories this can take from here. I'm sorry, I just have so much other stuff to work on. But I hope you enjoyed it! Please review! And thanks for reading!

-SC