A/N: PLEASE READ THIS NOTE, WOULD YOU KINDLY?

EDIT: Sigh, trolls all over the comments, they always pop up sooner or later...

Hope you're ready to laugh! And remember, this is an alternate universe~! Since we know jack-all of Raven's past, I've had to fill in the gaps.

Blast it! This stole the Wednesday slot I had planned for this week. Still working on "Untraveled Road" at this time. Those chapters are long. MONSTROUSLY long, because they have to be. My pride won't settle for short chapters, not in that story. Nope! Still, it Feels good to write this after the fate Raven suffered in "All Things Must Die" and the ending she got there. It killed me to write that chapter, but it had to be done. Thankfully she won't suffer such a ghastly fate in this story. I can't speak for the rest; for the web is dark and full of spoilers, and I'd not rather not reveal what is to come.

But the Raven here? Saaaaafe~!

As I'm sure you all know by now, Cookies!Raven is a different beast from the one we got in canon, thanks in no small part to meeting Naruto when she was younger. She's not wholly good, but neither can she be called evil either. Her time with Naruto has...well...it certainly hasn't made our birdie soft, but she's lost a bit of the edge she used to have. As the Spring Maiden and a deadly huntress, she's one of the most powerful people on Remnant, but not quite the bitch she used to be. At the end of the day, she really only has three goals.

What goals, you ask? By all means, read on.

We'll get to see their past eventually, though it won't be in the form of a new story. Perhaps a flashback or a memory or maybe even...aha! That's it! I've got an idea...

In other news, my aunt has caught COVID and she's in a bad way. To top it off, I've got family coming up from the coast, which is a bad, bad, BAD idea considering the state of things! I told them not to come, but they won't listen to me it seems. *sigh*

As ever, I'm open to title suggestions and the like. Feedback keeps my wheels rolling. Looking forward to your reviews~!

Yang...is about to have a bad time. She was angry to begin with, but Naruto's given her an excuse to let off steam here and ohhh does she take it.

If you get Yu Yu Hakusho vibes from this chapter...yeah, that's intentional. There's a line here that I'm sure you all know. What can I say? I remember the 90's fondly.

"Do you regret it?"

"What, helping you? Nope."

"You should've forgotten about me. I'm stubborn, rude, pushy...

"Nope. If you're going to deny your own happiness, then I'll just deny your denial."

~Raven and Naruto.

Strawberry Shortcake

Yang saw red.

A mindless crimson haze obscured her vision, leaving her drowning in a great scarlet ocean; one that drowned out all sense and sanity. She couldn't focus, could barely even bring herself to breathe. She knew this of course; she'd always been more than a little hotheaded as a child. Even now, that hadn't changed. Her temper was something of a legend back in Patch; an unstoppable force that consistently carried her through every scuffle, fight, and schoolyard brawl before. And today? Today that temper had been pushed to its limits. No, beyond them. It had been such a nice day, too.

Not anymore. Their fault.

All their fault.

Her fault.

Raven gazed placidly back at her from where she sat at the bar, one leg swinging over the stool she sat upon, utterly unconcerned for her daughter's impending mental break down. Yang ignored her. She was the cause of this to be sure, but she wasn't the focus of her rage. Damnit, girl! She usually wasn't the sort to get riled up so easily! But now? Her blood burned. She gave no thought to their words as she stalked forward, much less the potential ramifications of starting a brawl in a bakery. No. Here, in this moment, two sentences summed up the entirety of her being:

Yang angry. Yang smash.

Because there, at the center of it all...!

"Alright. You got me." Naruto feigned a lazy smile and raised his hands as Yang seized him by his collar. "Hey, easy there!" he only laughed when she hoisted him off his feet. "I didn't mean to get Ruby drunk, so-

Yang's arm swung backward with an audible pop and her fellow blond made no move to evade the obviously telegraphed punch that followed. Perhaps that was sloppy of her. In her anger, she didn't even try to be subtle here; not at all. Even a civilian would've been able to doge a blow like this. She failed to see the obvious bait for what it was, didn't recognize it, didn't care.

Her fist struck Naruto's nose with a devastating crack.

His head snapped back and an off red spray burst from his noise; then momentum ripped him from her grasp and sent him crashing into the kitchen. A dull crunch heralded the destruction of a wall as he tumbled through it and into the yard beyond. Yang leaped into the light after him with a roar that sounded more Grim than human.

"Stop, you dolt!" Weiss raced after her with a shout. "This is idiotic! Can't you see he's baiting you?!"

Raven uttered a jaw popping yawn. "I don't think she can hear you right now, Schnee."

The heiress absolutely hissed.

"You!" Blood red eyes narrowed as a pale finger stabbed between them. "This is all your fault! Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Guilty as charged." the bandit drawled, flicking her hand away. "As to why...boredom, I suppose?"

Blake sputtered. "You were bored?!"

"Pretty much." the older woman drained her bottle and tossed it over her shoulder with lackadaisical grace, leaving it to shatter against a wall. "If you're concerned about him, don't be. He's playing." dark hair swayed as she gave a rueful shake of her head. "Naruto's always been like this. Sticking his nose where others wouldn't and taking the blame when he shouldn't...its who he is. I gave up trying to change him ages ago." She craned her neck as a distant explosion rattled the room. "Ooh, that sounded painful."

"He didn't do anything!" Weiss protested. "He let Yang hit him because Ruby drank your...your...your swill!"

"To be fair, I didn't see her." Raven snorted. "She's a quick little thing, just like Summer."

Ruby's head popped up behind Weiss. "Oooh, you knew Mom?!"

"Of course I did. She was a lightweight, too."

"Really?!"

For the first time since she'd met the woman, Raven actually smiled. It was a small, awkward thing, but a smile nevertheless. She even unbent enough to pat the girl's head, drawing a giggle from the inebriated huntress. Granted, the motion was stilted and she looked like she wanted to bolt, but the sentiment was still there.

All that vanished as she looked to Weiss.

"You're Willow's brat, aren't you? You have her eyes."

"I...what? said Schnee blinked, startled by her remark. "Truly?"

"It wasn't a compliment, child." Raven clicked her tongue. "Willow was a coward. Is she still married to Jacques?"

Weiss faltered. "Yes, but-

"Then she is a coward." Raven retorted. "That man was and IS a monster. I told her to leave; even offered to kill the man for her. She refused. That makes her weak."

There was a bite to those words that hadn't been there before; a bitter edge that bit deeper than any blade. Was there some history there that she didn't know of? It made her angry. Her hand flew to the hilt of Myrtenaster and nearly yanked it free from her waist. No matter how much she might enjoy it, she knew this woman would block any attack on her part and return the favor thrice over. Whatever her past might be this woman was well beyond her. She knew that...yet still her fingers twitched, aching for action.

"Go on." Raven leaned forward to meet her, eyes narrow. "Do it. Hit me. Lets see if you have a spine."

"Don't talk to her like that!"

Remarkably, it was Blake who stepped up and came to her defense. Alas, that simply made her Raven's next target.

"Blake Belladonna, was it?" a slow, predatory grin split the woman's mouth as she lounged against the bar, idly petting Ruby in her lap. It made for a rather confusing image. "Hmm...hmm...I know I've heard that name somewhere before...ah! That's it!" she snapped her fingers in realization. "You're Kali's brat, aren't you? I didn't know she had a kid!" Tipsy though she was, the bandit leader still regarded the wide-eyed girl with that cold, piercing look of hers. "Tell me, how's she doing? Her and Ghira still a thing?"

Blake absolutely choked. "You know my parents? I...you...how?!"

"Call it a passing acquaintance from a misspent youth." the gleam in those blood red eyes said otherwise. "She never told you about me? Then again, its quite the tale." Said eyes rose to her bow, leaving Blake to squirm under her gaze like a naughty kitten. "Give her my regards when you see her, would you? I'm sure she'd love to know her daughter made it into Beacon...while wearing a bow."

Blake wilted, all defiance bleeding out of her.

Weiss nearly skewered her then and there. No good woman, fermenting conflict...!

Thankfully a third impact rattled the world and snapped her back to her senses before she could commit. "Ruby, say something already! Stop them!"

"Hmm! Okay~!" the little huntress made a face, kicked her legs against the bar, hopped off her seat, and staggered toward the gaping hole Yang had created. "Lets go watch~!"

"Not that! Blake! Help!"

"Not a chance." much to Weiss's dismay, the dark-haired girl made an X shape with her arms. "I've seen him fight; I won't be getting involved in this madness."

She didn't miss the fearful glance she cast at Raven.

"Bunch of nattering hens, the lot of you." said troublemaker pointedly ignored the glowers that went her way. "I told you, he'll be fine."

She still got up to follow Ruby, though.

Well! That settled it, then. Yang had gone berserk, Ruby was too drunk to think straight, and Blake was clearly hiding something and thus too afraid to take command. Which meant she had to take charge. A few days ago the notion would've been far more appealing. Now? She felt exhausted. Why was she always the voice of reason in this madness? It was like herding cats!

She found both blondes in the yard beyond; one lay sprawled in the grass, the other looming over them.

It was a picturesque area all things considered, not a space use for storage as one might suspect, but rather a simple enclosure with room to spare and sporting a fence on either side, the better to prevent intruders. There was even a small sapling in the backyard, suggesting it had been recently planted at that.

Of course, the fence had did nothing to stop Yang. She'd blown right through.

As they looked on, Naruto dragged himself upright, wiped a thin line of blood from his nose, and smiled.

"Hey, there!" he saw them and snapped off a jaunty wave, uncaring of the berserk blond at his back. "Nice day we're having, isn't it?"

"See?" Raven hummed. "He's fine."

Yang tried to punch Naruto while he was distracted and earned a vicious mule kick to the ribs for her less-than-noble tactic. She crashed back into the fence with a grunt, bounded off the metal links, and flew at him again with a roar. He kicked her legs out without even looking at her, leaving her to tumble past him in a breathless heap.

"Hold still!" she raged, thrashing her way to her feet.

"Why? I already gave you a few free hits, firecracker." Naruto beamed back at her, heedless of his broken nose. "Hope you enjoyed 'em." Calloused fingers reached up and snapped it back into place with a grimace. "Ouch, ouch! Damnit, that shit hurts. Jeez, you're just like your mother...

A wild haymaker hurtled at his head and he nudged it aside with a slap of the wrist.

"Don't say that!" she dove at him again and he caught her wrist, sweeping her aside with ease.

"Say what?" he tilted his head innocently when she came at him again and leaped away. "I don't understand."

"I'm nothing like Raven!" Her stomp gave birth to a small crater beneath her boots. "Don't call me Firecracker, either! You're not Uncle Qrow!"

"No." Naruto admittedly candidly, jamming both hands in his pockets as he swayed away from another punch. "I'm not. If I were your uncle, I'd have taken you over my knee and tanned your hide by now. As for your her, well," he unbent enough to scratch a whiskered cheek. "You have her temper."

Yang blinked.

Ruby squeaked. "Wuh-oh."

Raven whistled. "He had to say it...

Something in those words ignited Yang's anger all over again and she flew at him with a wild shriek. This time the baker met her head on; a gloved fist crashed against hers and she felt something pop in her arm. Even as she cried out, he swung his arm backward and sent her tumbling into the dirt. A sudden and dizzying jolt shot up the base of her spine as her back collided with a wall. Instinctively she tensed and flung herself upright in a hurry, bracing for a counterattack.

It never came.

Rather than press his advantage, Raven's lover remained where he was. He was waiting for her, the bastard! "Take this seriously, damnit!"

"Why?" to Yang's dismay, he merely blinked when she raged at him. "I'm already holding back the lion's share of my strength here; if I were to take this seriously you'd be a pretty red smear on the ground. I don't think either of us want that, eh?"

A dagger of icy fear stabbed at her breast, only to melt with the fires of her anger. "Don't look down on me!"

"I'm not." though his smile burned bright, the words were cold. "You're took weak to be a threat."

In a fit of pique she slapped Ember Celica against the wall she'd braced herself upon. It discharged a dust round with explosive force, shooting bits of plaster and timber in every direction, and for the first time since she'd met him, the infuriating bastard stopped smiling. His right eye twitched.

"Hey! Don't go blowing holes in my shop." he frowned. "I paid good money for that."

"Aw, did I touch a nerve? Too bad!" Was that petty of her? Very much so. Did she care? Not at all. She should have. She'd never been this angry before. She'd wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face and she had, but it wasn't enough. She wasn't satisfied with this. She wanted to kick his butt. She wanted to make him hurt. She wanted to win!

"You're being childish." his voice rose in a warning, and she shouted him down.

"Then take me seriously, you old fart!"

Naruto did not explode with rage as Yang had hoped, nor did he fly at her like some unlikely berserker. He simply frowned, tilted his head just a tad to the right, narrowed his eyes, and laughed. There wasn't anything particularly menacing about the noise itself; he didn't break into hysteric giggles, didn't throw his neck back and cackle like a madman, nor did his mirth hold a menacing air to it as one might expect from a villain. He simply pressed a hand to his face and chuckled softly as he shook his head.

"Raven?" he called over his shoulder. "You still there?"

"Of course."

Yang stiffened as the bandit's voice echoed back to meet his inquiry; not a moment later her mother sauntered past her, hips swinging. In her mindless rage Yang took a foolish swipe at her and paid dearly for it; rather than draw her blade, her mother caught her fist, wrenched it over her shoulder, and slammed her into the dirt. All without missing a beat.

"Your girl's being a bit of a brat." he sighed at her. "I'm going to be a little rough with her. That alright?"

"Not at all." her lips curled in a slight smile as she took a seat behind him. "Its high time she learned some discipline."

"Agreed. She has no idea what it means to fight to the death. To put your life on the line." his lips twitched into a frown. "Its time she learned."

Edging his right foot forward, the whiskered warrior fell into a low stance; one arm swept behind his back as the other clenched into a cruel claw some inches before his face. Even from this distance Yang swore she heard his knuckles pop, one by one. A shadow flashed over his face and a muscle jumped in his jaw alongside; hell, his entire body seemed to tense for the merest of moments before falling slack again. His right arm swung up and tore his ruined coat away. The tattered remains of his shirt soon followed, leaving him bare chested.

Yang blinked. Blushed. Buckled backwards and covered her face. "What the hell, old man?! Don't strip! My eyes! It burns!"

"Mwah...cookies..." Ruby drooled against Blake's shoulder as she snored softly.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Such a showoff...did you have to do that?"

Weiss gasped, hands flying to her mouth.

So many scars. Too many.

She saw them before Yang could; indeed, it was impossible to miss them now that Naruto had removed his shirt. A veritable web of wounds scrawled across the older man's exposed torso, stemming from his shoulders and tapering off toward his waist. She had no doubt that his back was covered in similar injuries. Her suspicions were merely confirmed when he turned to face Raven.

"I'm not showing off." he drawled, but she barely heard the words. "Just making a point."

"Oh, what the hell." Yang croaked. "How are you even alive...?"

"That's the question, isn't it?" Naruto laughed and spread his arms for further inspection as she gawked at his mangled back. "Every injury you see here, every scar, is one I bear with pride. You keep asking me to take you seriously, but frankly?" he shook his head. "I can't. Its just not possible. I've fought monsters, grappled with Grimm, demolished White Fang cells...

Blake stiffened.

...and this?" he turned in place, folding his arms before his ruined chest. "This little scuffle of ours is nothing compared to what I've been through. You're just a kid." his stern expression softened. "I don't wanna hurt ya, you know?"

Weiss agreed!

Despite her best efforts -and she wasn't even the one fighting him!- the heiress found herself shrinking back half a step. Had he sustained those injuries fighting Grimm? Or something else? She was leaning toward the latter. No Grimm could have done that to his back. It looked like someone had taken a sword to his shoulders and tried to hack him to pieces. Or tried to gouge out a lung. By the look of it, they'd nearly succeeded. Just the thought of it made her nauseous. And to think, she was ashamed of her single scar!

"So...we'll start with five." Naruto spoke suddenly, causing her to start. "And go from there."

"Eh?"

As Yang looked on in quiet consternation, her fellow blond held his right hand out to her, fingers splayed.

"I'll use five percent of my strength in this fight." his words were blunt, yet patronizing, that strange smile never once leaving his whiskered cheeks. "No transformations. No summons. No jutsu." his arms spread wide as he dropped into a crouch and there was just something in that simple gesture that set her sixth sense screaming. "Just my bare fists. If you want to be taken seriously, then you'll have to make me. Survive the next ten seconds and I'll ramp it up even further. Lets see what you've got. Now... dodge."

Blake realized the danger first and shouted a warning. Too little, too late. He absolutely blitzed her. There could be no other word for what followed.

Against all odds Yang managed to get a gauntlet up in time; even then she felt her right arm shudder and Ember Celica buckle as his fist thundered home against her wrist. Blue eyes blazed down at her, dull and devoid of life; no, that wasn't it. They were cold, like twin icebergs looming over her, crushing her with the weight of her gaze. She swung at his face and the ice melted as he flowed around it like so much water to ram a heel palm under her chin.

"Predictable."

She nearly blacked out on the spot. "Gah?! Why you little...!"

Yang spat blood and jabbed at his head, only to find her legs swept out from under her. Bereft of balance, she crashed to the ground in a heap. A fist came crashing down after her and she flung herself to the side before it could hit; bits of stone and earth sprayed against her back as she stumbled upright. He chased her relentlessly, wrenching her arm down to ram his forehead against hers. Stars -entire galaxies!- burst behind her eyelids from the impact. What was his head made of, pure metal or something?!

"Sloppy." came the rebuke as she teetered back. "Your fighting style has no form. No substance."

Yang swiped at him, and his knee found the back of her skull. Her aura crackled angrily and her vision swam again, this time with pain.

"You're quick to anger." She chambered a kick at his groin and a whirling kick caught her ribs. She felt something crack. "That's a weakness. Rise above it."

Standing proved an effort in-and-of itself, but she still dragged herself upright only to caught by a spinning kick. "Don't just charge in! Use your head! I know Tai taught you better than that."

"Don't you talk about my old man that way!"

"I'm not." Naruto sighed. "I'm trying to teach you something here, but its clearly not working. Fine." He raised his fists in a boxing stance and began to bound from one foot to the other, taking jabs as he went. "C'mon then." his voice rose in a challenge. "Hit me. This is what you want, right? Take all your anger out on me. You know you want to."

She darted at him in a golden streak and this time, her fist brushed his chin. He stepped back and she swept his legs, but rather than fall, landed on his hands and crashed another kick into her chin. She caught it and swung him down into the ground, only for him to catch himself yet again and twist free to sweep her legs instead.

Yang rode the blow, reared back and slugged him in the face for it. Still, the bastard refused to fall fall. Oh, he stumbled, looked surprised even, but she wasn't able to knock him on his arse as she'd intended. Still, those bright blue eyes widened in surprise before he clamped down on it. Was that pride, just now? It looked like he was proud of her. A strange, niggling sensation tickled at her, worming its way through her anger.

"There we go." he settled back into a stance. "Again!"

Pulse pounding, heart hammering in her chest and high on adrenaline, Yang made a rookie mistake; one she hadn't made since her days at Signal. Had she been in her right mind, she would've realized it. Instead she ignited Ember Celica and swept forward with a wild haymaker. Naruto stepped back, allowed her to sweep past, over-extended. His fingers formed a taut point; one that swept up and came down on her exposed limb thrice as fast. Yang tried to twist, tried to move in midair to do something about it; to protect herself, attack, defend, anything at all-

Owowowowow!

Her arm went numb; all sensation fleeing as the deadened limb drooped from her shoulder. The retaliation that followed was swift and merciless. Clenched knuckles barreled into her stomach to blast the breath from her lungs, taking most of her strength with it. Somewhere, very far away, she thought she heard Weiss cry out. Or was it Blake? She couldn't be sure. Her ears were too busy ringing.

Yet the follow-through never came, leaving her to crash to her knees with a squeak.

"You can do better than this." Yang saw his boots halt just out of reach as she curled in on herself. "You can be so much more. I know you can." rather than attack, he reached down and pulled her to her feet. His forehead slammed against hers, not to attack, but to glare blazing blue daggers down at her. "Where's that strength you showed earlier? Where's that determination, huh?! How can you protect yourself like this? Would you be able to save Ruby if she's in danger? Could you even save yourself?"

"Of course I could...!" Yang grit her teeth, refusing to fall back. "What do you know?!"

"More than you." her tormentor barked back, shouting her down as he towered over her. "If I had a sword, I would've cut your arm off just now! And I'm holding back." his words slapped her again. "What do you think an enemy will do to you if you're in a position like this? Forget the Grimm, you'll be fighting folks worse than me! They won't show mercy! They won't hold back! They'll cut you apart!"

The truth stung as much as her tears. Lilac eyes blazed red and golden hair set itself ablaze.

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!"

Her semblance had gotten her out of worse scrapes than this; if anything she'd gotten used to tanking hits and dishing them back tenfold. She'd trained up her endurance for this very purpose after all; a single blow that would absolutely devastate anyone who got the better of her.

Not was as good a time as any to use it.

It was a good punch all things considered. Yang was proud of it. She was impossibly close and had taken a number of nasty hits by now. She could barely see stand after the last; yet she was sure she'd connect. Naruto hadn't even tried to step back. He was impossible to miss. She focused on his face as the power deep within her ignited all at once and she rammed her knuckles at it, knowing he could take it. She never saw her punch land, but she felt the impact all the same, just as much as the scalding rush of steam that followed.

The smoke cleared.

"Better." Naruto's smiling face was revealed to her, wholly unharmed as he held her fist before his face. "But you've still got a long way to go."

Yang toppled backward on her rear with a yelp as he released her. He'd caught it. Her best punch, all the power amplified and flung back in his face, and he'd stopped it with one hand. The realization should've made her even more angry; instead it humbled her. To know that even at her best, even with her Semblance, she'd still been bested. By all rights she should be furious. She hadn't been beaten this badly in...well...forever. It was something of a wake-up call. She wasn't unbeatable. She wasn't invincible. Her anger had gotten the better of her, and she'd paid for it.

...but did he have to beat her so badly?

"Feel better?" he asked. "Got it our of your system."

...I still wanna punch you." she sulked, crossing both arms under her chest.

"I'm sure. Now hold still."

Before she could protest her fellow blond reached down and laid a hand on her deadened arm. Once again he hit the same pressure point; this time sensation came rushing back into the limb, bringing with it a thousand pins and needless that had her hissing and swearing.

"Ow, shit!" she growled, rubbing at her arm. "That really hurts, you know?!"

"Its going to. No hard feelings, eh?" Naruto offered her that same hand and something in Yang hesitated.

Though it was a bitter pill to swallow, she'd learned something from this; no, she'd simply been reminded of the bitter truth; she wasn't the strongest out there. No matter how hard you trained, there was always someone better than you. Be it dad or Uncle Qrow, or even Headmaster Ozpin, or even this bloody baker. She'd always known it.

This time, she took Naruto's hand and allowed herself to be hauled to her feet. "Say, about what you said earlier...

"Oh, that? That was just an act." the whiskered warrior laughed and waved her off a little too quickly for her liking, almost as if he were hiding something. "You were looking for an outlet, and I gave you one while pointing out the holes in your offense. That's all. Nothing personal. Sorry if I scared you, but I hoped it helped."

Truthfully, it had.

All her life, she'd been the sort to swing first and ask questions later. Her emotions always burned bright and then burned themselves right out. She'd already forgiven the blond bastard she realized, the revelation of this ruse merely solidified that decision on her part. Unfortunately, a low crunch behind Yang drew a wince. She risked a glance over her shoulder and saw the damage she'd wrought.

"I can pay for that!" the words tumbled out of her mouth. "Well, I mean...

"Don't worry about it." he mussed her hair and laughed when she swiped at him again. "Raven did the same thing."

"Lies!"

Huh. Yang wasn't sure how to feel about that. Should she be proud that she had something in common with her mother, or angry? She risked a glance back -still wincing when she saw how much of the wall and fence she had demolished- only to find that her mother wouldn't meet her eyes. A lone finger rose in salute to greet her instead.

"That wasn't half bad." she said instead, desperate to change the subject. "Next time you'll be the one on the ground, though."

"Sure, why not." There was a strange, almost bitter smile to his words. "I'd be happy to knock you around again if that's what you're after. Do you need my Scroll number?"

"What, are you offering to be my personal trainer or something?" she planted one hand on her hip as he drew a worn phone from his pocket. "Careful now, your true colors are shining through. Perv."

"Get your mind out of the gutter."

She swiped it from him. "Dirty old man."

He flicked her forehead in return. "Cheeky little shit."

Maybe she could tolerate this guy after all. It wasn't like he'd done any of this on purpose...right? If she could wring a few tricks out of him, that might prove useful. At least she had an excuse to hide behind on that front to hide the shame of her defeat. After a moment's consideration, she added Blake's number, followed soon thereafter by that of Weiss and Ruby. Hey, if she had to suffer through this, so did they!

But mom...nope.

Just nope. Looking at her hurt more than Yang cared to admit. It hurt a lot. There would be no forgiveness there. Not today. Not tomorrow. Perhaps not ever. It was too fresh, too painful. Just thinking of her hurt-a scar she'd thought long since healed now lay open and bare to the world once again. But that was neither here nor there. There were more pressing matters to deal with. Matters that were bearing down on her with all the speed of a ballistic dust missile. Sucking in a sharp breath, she steadied herself and braced herself for Hurricane Weiss.

She hit her like a missile. "What were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't...?" Yang grinned back.

"That's the point, you dolt!"

"Hey! He started-

Yang turned to lay the blame at Naruto's feet, only to find that her fellow blond had vanished into thin air. All that remained was a faint plume of smoke and what might have been a log at her feet. The hell was that? Her jaw clicked open in surprise as she frantically cast about for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Quite suddenly, she found herself alone on that front. Traitor! She'd trusted him! Now she found herself alone with an angry Schnee, alone and exhausted and utterly unable to run away. It was a good thing that Blake had her arms full with a sleeping Ruby; otherwise she might have joined in. She certainly looked like she wanted to.

"H-Hey, it all worked out in the end, right?" she managed.

Weiss hung her head and fell silent for a long, horrible moment. Then she reared back, seized hold of Yang's face, and pinched her cheeks.

"Ouch!" she cried! "No fair! What the hell, Weiss-cream?! What did I do to deserve this...?!"

"Don't you "Weiss-Cream" me, Yang Xiao-Long! I have half a mind to-

"Alright kids, show's over! Time to go!" Raven clapped her hands sharply, drawing a collective flinch from the girls. "Come back tomorrow if you like...or whatever." She flung up her hands when Yang tried to protest. "I don't care. Just get! You're cramping my style! Out, out, out!"

Weiss craned her neck back. "Where did Naruto go?"

"None of your damned business, Schnee." the bandit batted her ponytail like a cat would a bit of yarn. "Now scoot."

For a moment she considered challenging the bloody woman all over again; it was only Yang's hand on her shoulder that forestalled any conflict on that front. She expected another outburst. A retort at the very least. All she received was a silent shake of the head. "Just leave it. She's not worth the trouble."

"If you say so...

Naruto emerged from the shadows as the last of team RWBY slunk away. Raven sidled up to him with a sigh. "You've gotten soft."

Somehow, he wasn't sure if that was an insult or a compliment. "Have I?" he shrugged. "You were antagonizing those girls. Did you enjoy baiting them?"

"A little. They're easy to rile up and they remind me of their mothers." she confessed. "And you have gotten soft." her lips parted in a sigh as she leaned against him. "Just a decade ago, you would've flattened someone like her without a second thought. Five percent? Really?" she jabbed his scarred chest with a finger, drawing an amused laugh from her partner. "We both know you weren't using that much. Not really. You could've killed her with less."

"Think of it as a learning experience." he said. "And she's your daughter. I didn't want to hurt her."

"Our daughter."

"Hrrmph." In the end Naruto chose to ignore her remark and saunter back inside. "Still, Roman Torchwick, eh? Didn't think we'd be related. Still don't believe it."

Raven caught the hint and pounced on it. "That Roman Torchwick? He's your son?!"

"Maybe?" The blond shrugged, heedless of her baffled look. "I mean, now that I think about it, I can kinda see the resemblance there." Another shrug chased her fury away. "Besides, its not like I was celibate after you ran away all those years ago." although her blazing red eyes continued to bore into him, he remained unfazed. "I wandered the world before I came back and settled down. Had a few one night stands here and there, nothing serious. Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are. Its not like there's a horde of mini-me's running about Remnant or anything. I'd know if there where. Although there was one redhead...

She squirmed angrily. "I still don't like it."

"What, that I might have other kids wandering around, or that I got some tail while you were away?" Naruto prodded her with his good hand as he snatched up a broken black but as he looked on, her pale cheeks slowly suffused themselves with but the faintest shade of pink. "No. You're not." A lone blond brow quirked as a slow smile spread across his face. "Don't tell me you're actually jealous over this." When she didn't answer his grin grew. "Aha! You are! I didn't think you had it in you!"

Vines of heated embarrassment burned their way up Raven's neck. "I'm the only one you need to look at."

Naruto whooped and wrapped his arms around her. Even as she squawked and squirmed he buried his head into her neck. "Awww~!"

"Let go of me you big oaf!" Raven wriggled in his grasp to no avail, his arms locked around her like a cage, one she couldn't possibly escape. "No cuddling! Off! I said off!"

"Nope! Never letting go! You're stuck with me now." he planted a kiss against her collarbone that left her shivering. "I'm not letting you get away this time." another kiss had her squirming in an altogether more pleasant way, her eyes widening as his lips roved higher, brushing her neck, then her chin as he continued to speak. "You'll have to kill me."

"That's an option?"

Then he pulled away, the bastard.

"Nope. Hope you're ready for the night shift~!"

Raven made angry Raven noises. "Do you ever close this damn place?!"

Naruto leaned back and shrugged. "Around midnight usually, why? Does it matter?"

"Fine. Be that way." She shook her head and grabbed a broom. "You're a cruel man, Naruto Uzumaki."

"Bah, you know you love me." he chuckled softly and did the same. "You'd never put up with me if you didn't care this much-ack?!"

Her elbow sank into his ribs. "Jury's still out on that. Now help me with this wall. And stop making faces or you won't be getting a thing from me tonight!"

(.0.0.0.)

The "Night Shift" as Naruto so eloquently put it -sarcasm ahoy!- was anything but simple.

Together -and with a liberal application of shadow clones on Naruto's part- they somehow managed to repair the damage before the next rush came. Even then, the so-called "clientele" he attracted at this hour seemed to nothing short of shady. Ranging from crooks and thieves to wanted gangsters alike, they were a motley crew, all things considered. Hardened men and women who'd seen or done their share of time, and not one of them made trouble for him. Not a one. Some even called him Boss.

She got a good laugh out of that one.

Perhaps that had something to do with her presence; no one questioned a woman with a sword, least of all when she wore her mask. Perhaps they thought her security of some sort. Raven was content to let them believe what they wished. Men and women alike deceived themselves all the time. Tonight would be no exception.

And then she appeared.

At first she wanted nothing more than to tell the newcomer off...until she got a good look at her.

She was a dark-haired beauty with long legs, clad in a little red number that was nothing just shy of sinful. Eyes of dark, molten amber roved around the room, passed over her, and settled upon Naruto. A shiver shot down Raven's spine at the sight of her. This one was bad news. She just knew it. Didn't know how she knew, only that she did.

Naruto didn't seem to care, and if he did, none of that concern showed as he sauntered up to meet her.

"Cinder!" his voice boomed out in greeting. "How've ya been?!" He knew this little harlot?! "You'll be wanting the usual, I take it?"

"Yes, please." she planted a kiss on his cheek and Raven nearly slew her on the spot. "I'll have a side of strawberry shortcake, if you don't mind."

"Not at all~!"

A small sullen side of her balked at her own behavior; she was acting like some lovestruck lass trying to keep a rival away from her...just what was Naruto to her? Didn't matter. He was hers. She'd never say it aloud of course -he'd never let her live it down!- but the blond buffoon meant something her. More than most. She'd already lost him once through no fault but her own and she'd be damned if she lost him again. Acting like a jealous old hen accomplished nothing here, however.

So she grit her teeth and watched.

"You're becoming something of a regular here."

Cinder Fall preened as her favorite treat appeared before her.

"Am I? And that was fast." she hummed in appreciation. "Keep this up and I might have to steal you."

"You can try," came Naruto's humming reply as he poured her a tall glass of milk, "But I'm afraid I've already spoken for."

"Are you, now?" A dark brow arched as she considered his worn hands and saw no ring there. "That can change. You'll find me very...persuasive."

Raven made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a snarl; unfortunately that drew the newcomer's attention down on her. Those keen amber orbs fell upon her and narrowed, unable to ascertain her identity through her mask. She was suddenly lad she'd chosen to wear it tonight-she didn't much like the way this one was looking at her. As if she'd recognized her. That was impossible of course. She'd never laid eyes on this little minx until this very moment. She would've remembered a man-stealer like this.

"Have we met?"

Her blade was about to meet her face. Did that count?

"She's new." Naruto intervened with another dish, distracting the criminal before she could probe further. "Folks have been pressing me to hire some security."

"Is that so?" Cinder all but purred the words. "I could lend you Roman for an evening or two. He might appreciate some...honest work for a change."

"Urk." The blond made a choking sound that Raven mirrored. "That's...really not necessary. I appreciate the sentiment, though."

"Its no trouble at all." She fished her treat and rose from her seat. "I'm afraid I must be on my way. Don't be a stranger."

Perhaps she'd sensed Raven's killing intent. Perhaps she suspected something. Perhaps she was simply being a good guest and not overstaying here welcome? Who knew? Nevertheless, the moment she left, Raven locked the door behind her and shuttered the window alongside it. To his credit, Naruto offered a faint token of protest.

"Hey!"

"We're closed." she growled.

"Fair enough." he sighed. "You're angry, I take it?"

Raven smashed her mouth against his. "Bedroom. Now."

He guided her upstairs and she forgot all thoughts of Cinder Fall for what remained of the evening.

Unfortunately, said evening...didn't quite end as she'd been expecting. It came in the form of a rather unwanted guest.

(.0.0.0.)

She'd never committed a crime before. Yet here she was all the same. So hungry...

Hunger had driven her to desperation and desperation...well.

Here she was.

Deery gazed down into the shop and the broken glass on the floor condemned her. She hadn't meant to make that much noise. It wasn't her fault...or so she told herself. It was either this or join up with the White Fang, and she wasn't so far gone as to risk her neck with those maniacs. Not yet.

It was either that, or starve.

She slipped inside, careful not to cut herself on the glass, cursing quietly as it crunched underfoot. No alarm. Surprising, given the look of this place. It looked new, but maybe the owner thought he wouldn't need it. No cameras either, none that she could see. That was his loss and her gain. Another pang of guilt tore at Deery and she tried in vain to stomp it down. She wasn't comitting a crime, she told herself. She was just taking a little bit of money to get by. Or food. Whichever came first.

This was a bakery. He must have some food or something in the back, cash at the register at the very least. There better be. If she'd smashed that window for nothing...!

Her stomach growled again, a low and desperate sound that made her insides twist. She hadn't eaten in nearly a week. Even the gun in her belt was stolen; a dust pistol purloined from a drunken officer on duty. Vale was soft when it came to crime, but she didn't doubt for a moment that her actions would be reported. One crime atop another.

There! Jackpot!

She crept closer and consider the register for a moment. Locked. Of course it was locked. Her bad luck prevailed in all things, it seemed. It looked heavy too; too heavy for her to carry without hurting herself. Maybe if she had her aura unlocked she might have been willing to risk it, but-

"Whatcha doing there, kiddo?"

A hand clamped down on Deery's shoulder and she spun with a shriek. "HYEEEK!"

The owner of the bakery blinked back at her in orange-black pajama's, not at all phased by her cry.

"I'm afraid we're closed for the evening." he smiled back at her. "But you're not here for cookies, are you?"

Deery leveled the pistol at him. "E-Empty the register!" she forced the words through chattering teeth. "And the safe! I know you've got one somewhere!"

Oh gods, she was shaking like a leaf. She'd never killed a man before, human or otherwise. She didn't want to start now. No, no, no! Not good! Super sketch!

Much to her dismay, the blond didn't bat an eyelash.

"Look, if its food you want, I can get you a plate. Free of charge," his tone turned soothing when her stomach whimpered. "Just put the gun down."

Deery didn't believe him.

Humans were all the same. They lied and lied and lied again. Just like her old landlord, just like her boss, just like her ex. They took and took and took until you didn't have anymore to take, then they'd turned her out on her ear. Well not this time! She wouldn't be fooled!

"Just give me the money!"

The blond pursued his lips. "You look like you've had a bad time. Now lets not do anything you'll regret. Because if you pull that trigger, I promise you, you're going to regret it."

"Sh-Shut up, old man! You don't know me!"

Oddly enough, that seemed to wound him more than any bullet.

"Why does everyone call me that?!" His shoulders slumped. "I ain't that old!"

The gun clicked against his stomach. "Hands up! I mean it!"

Naruto smiled down at her. It was all teeth. "Deery, was it? You know how to use that?"

"Y-Yes! Of course I do!" How did he know her name?! No. She couldn't falter. Not now. "Empty the register, old man."

"Nope." Much to the starving girl's annoyance, her mark continued to smile at her like a patient parent. "I don't think so. My employees will be working hard for that money, and I need to pay them this week. What kind of boss would I be if I stiffed them their first paycheck."

"Why you...?!"

"Tell you what, squirt." a hand reached up and seized the pistol, gripping the barrel with enough force to make the metal buckle. "For decency's sake, I'll give you one shot." blue eyes widened with glee as she struggled to pull her weapon away. "What's wrong? You said you were prepared for this. Take the shot. Make it count."

"You can't do it, can you. That's good, I suppose. It means you're not a hardened killer." blue eyes drifted past her. "Times up."

A bloody red blade settled against the thief's throat from behind. "Dinner and a show. How sweet of you."

"Don't kill her, Raven." Naruto plucked the gun from her hand. "I like her. She has potential."

"You and your strays." She shrugged. "If you say so. Sorry kid, nothing personal."

Deery raised her hands. "Um...mercy, m'lord?"

And then there was pain.

A/N: Now this was fun to write.

Yang's a hotblooded girl, but at this point, she's ruled by her temper as much as her emotions. She needs to work on that before...well...you know.

As ever, reviews are my lifeblood. Without them, I cannot write.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

They keeps an old man alive.

And enjoy the previews.

As ever:

SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!

PLOT DETAILS AHOY!

YE BE WARNED!

Get ready to smile~!

(Previews!)

"I'm dyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing."

"And that, Ruby, is a hangover."

"You know, when I hired you, I didn't expect you to drag your team along for your first day. Eh, screw it." Naruto shrugged and ushered the bubbly girl behind the counter. "Nora, meet Deery. Deery, meet Nora. You'll be working together for the foreseeable future."

"Hey~!"

He spied a flash of red hair in the chaos and shook his head. Nikos. He definitely knew that name. Nah. What were the chances...? Surely not. No way. Nikos was a common name, right?

Pyrrha tugged on his sleeve. "Excuse me? May I have a moment of your time?"

Bugger.

Ozpin cleared his throat. "Raven-

"Nope."

"If you would just-

She crossed her arms. "Nope."

"You know, this is very unbecoming of-

"Nope nope nope nope nope." she talked right over him. "In fact, I'm noping you right out of here."

She spun, cut a gateway, and kicked the startled immortal right through it. Naruto toppled backward with a cackle.

"You look like shit, brother. Drinking again?"

Qrow nearly swallowed his flask. "Me and my bad luck...you really are here."

Raven grinned at him. It was not a pleasant smile. "Bad luck has nothing to do with it, Qrow."

"Is that so? Because my niece just happened to tell me you'd shacked up with an old friend...he in? I wanna have a word with him-

In hindsight, he really shouldn't have pressed that button. Her boot cannoned into his face and he crashed through a wall, tumbling and swearing.

Naruto looked up. Up some more. Up. "You're a big fella, ain'tcha?"

Hazel grunted and laid some lien on the counter. "I was told you served sweets here. Have I been misled?"

"Not at all!" Quick as a flash, he swept the money up, counted it, and filed it away in the register. "What'll it be, big guy?"

...coffee cake."

"Coming right up~!"

"Do you hate me, Yang?"

Yang realized her mistake a moment later; because she hadn't expect him to ask that.

"Eh?" she blinked, faltering in the face of his sudden inquiry. "Wh-What the hell? Where's this coming from?"

"Its a simple question." those placid blue eyes bored into her lilac orbs with quiet intensity. "This isn't about Raven anymore, is it?"

Her anger bled through her fingers even as she struggled to cling onto it. She did. Some tiny small part of her hated the man standing before her. He was right. Things had escalated. He'd never done anything to her, but Yang found that she loathed him all the same, if only for what he'd stolen from her. That should have been Dad standing there with Mom, not him. She didn't know she'd been spoon-fed a lie. How could she? Still, it hurt. Seeing the two of them together like that hurt, scraping at an old wound in her heart. Raven should have stayed away. But she hadn't, she had come back, not to Tai, but to him.

It burned. It burned it burned it burned it BURNED!

"Will hitting me make you feel better?" another question hit her like a slap in the face. "Do you want to take my life?"

She sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. "Just...just shut up and fight."

R&R~!