Hold Me Because I'm Scared (Of Falling Apart)

Chapter One: Nothing Hurts More

A/N: A prompt fic for an omegaverse with Alpha Regina, placed in a high school setting. Someone requested this about a year ago and I've only now been able to get around to writing it. Hope y'all enjoy and leave me any thoughts.

Regina let out an aggrieved huff of air from between her pursed lips as she watched Emma's jaw work at a piece of gum. The woman was chewing like a damned cow and twirling a pencil between her fingers instead of working on the problem like Regina had told her too.

Regina had little patience for things, and she most certainly had little patience for one Emma Swan. The girl had graced the school with her pestering presence during the beginning of Regina's junior year and she had been a constant thorn in Regina's side ever since. As Storybrooke High's star pupil and reliable personality, Regina was often asked to do many things to make the school administration's life easier. One of those had been to tutor Emma because as one of her many duties around the school, Regina often tutored students who needed help.

But help was an understatement when it came to Emma. Did the blonde have an ounce of knowledge inside her head? All she thought about was soccer and food. The woman could put away entire meals in one sitting, not like Regina had watched her. The way she ate was quickly and with her arms guarding the trays as if protecting it from being stolen by anyone. And yet, she did not gain a single ounce, while Regina had to watch what she ate least she bloat like a whale. It must be all the exercise Emma got during matches.

Granted, Emma was good at soccer. The girl was a star forward, always found in the thick of the fray and with a solid head on her shoulders that would find her quickly working up to a team captain position. She had won the Storybrooke Bulldogs their third game of the fall season so far with trick shots and an always get up attitude. Her slim legs worked that ball fast, and she always had a look of intense concentration on her face that Regina never saw anywhere else. Not that she was watching. Never. She had more important things to do than ogle Emma.

Like studying for tests, completing her homework, and starting on applications to college. It was never too early to start and she had high goals of entering the best college in the states.

But it was hard to ignore Emma's looks. She had either the potential to be one of those pretty high school girls who were vapid and vain and ate other people alive for breakfast while they wore Gucci and toted unnecessarily small dogs in big bags. Or to be a star athlete, which she was. Her arms were toned and her skin a golden color like she had just come off a beach. Her hair was long and silky blonde and with princess curls that were natural. Her eyes were sea green and hard like she had seen some things.

Her lips never formed a smile unless she played soccer, donning the widest and most charming grin known to man kind when she scored a goal.

Alright, so maybe Regina looked a little. But how could she not when she was forced to be with this girl nearly everyday after school? Forced to put up with her annoying habits?

"You're never going to pass any classes if you keep up this work habit."

Emma shrugged. The casual attitude about this pissed Regina off because for her, she wouldn't accept anything less than a hundred in each of her classes.

"If you don't pick up your grades, you'll get kicked out of the team," Regina switched tactics.

Once more, Emma shrugged. "Coach won't do that. I'm his favorite player."

"True that may be, but he can't keep you in forever. Eventually the school board will find out and kick you out."

This time Emma's shrug was more hesitant, which Regina would take as a victory. "Therefore, do your work," she pressed.

Emma let out a low groan and leaned back into her chair, slinging an arm around the back of it. "This is so dumb. I hate it."

"It's only dumb because you don't get it. Now focus. What do you remember from class today?"

Emma rolls her eyes into the back of her head and lets out a low groan. "I don't even care about this. I only have like, two years to go of this prison before I make it out alive and am a free woman."

Regina is aghast. "Emma, are you not planning on going to college?"

Emma shrugs again. Regina feels a vein in her forehead throb. If that woman shrugs once more...never has she been so irritated with a human being before.

"No," Emma says leaning her head back so far she's looking up at the ceiling.

"How can you not want to go to college?"

"I'm dumb anyways, so what does it matter?"

"It matters because you need to get a job."

"I won't need one, I'll just be a soccer star."

Regina can't help it and lunges over the desk to pull the neck of Emma's shirt to her so the infuriating woman will look at her. For Regina, everything in life has being leading up to college. Every single important decision, determines her future. The most minute of plans, of actions, of details, were formed, with college in mind.

How Emma doesn't see the importance of college is beyond her. Emma is forced to look at Regina, though her eyes are bored, even as her hands twitch with the warning that if Regina doesn't let go soon, she's going to end up with a black eye like many of those who bothered Emma before.

"And how do you think you'll become a soccer star if you don't go to college? No one drafts a player from high school."

"Well," Emma says, removing Regina's hands none too gently. "I'll be the first one." She flashes a cocky grin and Regina sits back down, letting out a harsh sigh. The audacity of this girl! The smug arrogance! She cannot deal with her. She's going to make Regina's blood pressure rise.

She'll ask her teacher to switch her out. To give Swan another tutor. They've wasted half an hour already and Emma has only done three questions out of the twenty assigned for homework. Regina begins to pack up her stuff, which makes Emma raise an eyebrow.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Emma asks, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

"Packing up. We are done here, Emma. Go dribble a ball or whatever it is jock heads like you do for fun," Regina states crossly.

Something like panic flashes on Emma's face and were Regina not busy hastily putting away her things into her neat backpack, she would have noticed it.

"I didn't take you for a quitter," Emma said softly, but with a challenge behind her eyes.

"I'm not. This isn't me quitting. There's nothing to quit over when you're nothing," Regina snaps out harshly and alright, that might have been a low blow when she sees Emma sag into the seat.

"You're not the first one whose told me that," Emma says in a subdued voice. Her eyes glaze over as she thinks about something in the past.

But Regina's too upset to take back her words and she leaves Emma there at the desk, with her book still open in an empty classroom.

Emma's always had a type. And that type happens to not like her type. She can't help it, however. It's just how her body works.

She doesn't expect to find anyone she likes in her new school. She's just arrived here and she hates the place. It's so cheery. So preppy. And the principal Mary is so happy and full of hope and naivety about this world that Emma just wants to punch the smile off of her face.

She hates the uniform too. She doesn't like skirts, detests them, and boycotts it by wearing the pants to the boy's uniform. She lets her shirt hang out of her pants. She doesn't button it up all the way. And she rolls one pants leg up and leaves the other down.

They know better than to bother her on how she dresses by now. No matter what they do to her, she doesn't care. Especially not her fists which sometimes crack at the knuckle after she's hit too many snotty nosed idiots.

She's here on scholarship. Not like it matters. Her grades were always decent, but it's her soccer skills that got her in. It's her passion. All the aggression she feels, the sadness, the loneliness, it all just melts away. On the field all she can focus on is the adrenaline coursing through her veins, propelling her to the goal.

Nothing in the world- no famine, no war, not even the idea of not knowing what's for dinner today- doesn't matter. She loves the feel of sport. It's so freeing. Wind through her hair, sweat dripping down her face, the ache of bruised legs. And the roar of the crowd going wild as she makes it in.

She's good friends with the girls on the soccer team. And with a few of the boys. The kids who aren't that smart and who aren't that rich. All scholarship kids like her.

But of course she can't fall for one of them. She likes Regina. Regina Mills, who is the most perfect perfectionist anyone has ever seen. Her clothes are pressed so stiff Emma wonders how she breathes in them. They follow the school regulation code, with their knee high socks, plaid gray skirt, buttoned up white shirt, all gleaming with how clean it is, and her navy blazer with all the pins and badges she has earned by being the teachers little pet.

Regina's hair is perfectly coiffed and only to her chin. Emma's never seen it a mess or even an inch longer. Regina's always got a smile on her face and she speaks like an old woman, her speech so grand and with such big words.

Even her notebooks are neat, put together. With little stickers and highlighters and tight handwriting. She's got everything in her life planned out. She knows where she's going. Emma doesn't. She's fumbling in the dark, been trying to find the light switch for the past damn ten years in hopes it would enlighten things. No luck in finding it yet. Though she doesn't blame herself. She's doing the best she can when no one cares about her.

She's an orphan plain and simple and even though she's been placed in foster homes over the years, she's never really bonded with her 'family' and nor they with her. She just keeps out of the way, helps when she can around the house, and does her best not to be home.

She's had a few bad houses and she will never learn to trust the system, ever.

So far this family- a man and woman who are both artists and travel the world often- haven't been around enough for her to see their bad sides. But they trust her in the house and even with money, so they mustn't be all bad, just eccentric.

Sometimes Emma will fantasize what it must feel like to have a loving family. To find out who her real parents are. To be a superstar athlete. To taste Regina's lips and to mess up her perfect hair. But she'll never have her and she knows. Still, it's fun to bother her.

Emma goes out of her way to blow spitballs at her, or make funny faces at her, or even scare her when she's coming down the hall. It's all very juvenile. But she's only still a kid, and it makes Regina pay attention to her.

Plus, the little scrunchy face she makes when she's all angry but trying not to ruin her perfect reputation in front of her clique of friends or the staff, makes it hilarious. Emma does wonder from time to time why it's Regina she wants and not any of the other preppy nerd girls, and it must be because she's so far from what Emma's life is like, that if Emma could have her, it would be like a reassurance that everything would be okay.

Also, her ass in that skirt.

Enough said.

But maybe Emma's taken things a bit too far. She's been sort of failing her work so that she could get placed on tutoring with Regina. Emma's not dumb so her grades shouldn't be C's. But Regina doesn't know that and boy, those words- being called nothing? It hurts coming from a crush.

She's wanted to see what lay beyond Regina's mask of perfection and she got it. Something nasty. It hurts her deep and makes her want to prove to Regina now more than ever that she's not just some stupid underclass man sophomore, but a smart individual. Instead of her usual B's, she's aiming for A's.

And she hadn't foreseen the fact she might get kicked off the team if she continued this. It was certainly time to turn things around. And maybe she'd stop annoying Regina and actually try to be civil to her.

Ruby had mentioned that nobody got dates by acting childish to their crushes. Maybe if Emma wanted to actually have a decent chance she needed to actually try and drop this casual attitude. It was meant to protect her and her heart from getting broken but in this case, it had only hurt her, making Regina dislike her.

And Emma was sure she could be a charmer. She already had many admirers, both boys and girls, over her skills on the field. She could knock the socks off of anyone if she so much as smiled.

"You're really getting serious, aren't you Swan?" Ruby asks as they sit on the bleachers, slurping on slushies. It's night time but the field is bright, always lit up no matter what. It's kinda like a light switch; maybe that's why Emma can always find her way on the field. It's off the field where it's dark that she has so much issue.

"Yea. I've never had luck with her type of girl, but hell, you know what, I might as well try this time," Emma said, slurping loudly and obnoxiously.

Ruby shook her head. "You complain about all these girls never liking you, when you never really asked them out in the first place? Unbelievable."

Emma shrugged. "I asked one or two out but they all laughed at me. So then I just crushed from the distance."

"You got to be persistent. Especially with a tight ass like Regina. She's stubborn. And so can you, but in all the wrong ways."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you're stubbornly refusing to accept that fact that you're a catch Swan and that you might actually have a chance if you put yourself out there." She pulled up Emma's jersey. "Look at this. You've got abs. How many teens have got that?"

Emma swatted Ruby's hand away.

"Regina's not into looks."

"Are you kidding me? She's super vain, always making sure her hair is in the right place or that her clothing is clean enough. She judges people's looks and you're hot."

"But she might not be gay!" Emma protested and now she was beginning to psyche her own self out. It was one thing to annoy Regina because of her crush-it was safe and Regina wouldn't ever suspect she did it because she had feelings for her- but to openly do it, and then be mocked for it? Only a handful of people at this school knew Emma's preferences and two of those were girls she had slept with from the soccer team. It had only been a couple one night stands and there was no bad blood between them. But they didn't say anything because this school environment wasn't the most accepting.

"Look, I'm not saying roll up to her and just start openly spouting declarations of undying love. Get close to her. Be her friend and then find out what she likes."

"Ugh, that sounds like so much work," Emma complained, rolling her arms behind her head and lying down, letting the metal bite into her back.

"Do you like her or not, because now I'm confused," Ruby said, finished with her drink and grabbing the one Emma had left unfinished by her.

"I'm...I'm just scared," Emma said, looking up at the sky, at the stars which should be there but were blocked by the light pollution of the field.

"You don't have anything to be scared of. Think of this as a soccer game. You're in the long game now and you need to utilize different strategies to get her."

"I'm going to do better on my homework to impress her."

"That's a start. But try to use the sessions to talk to her more," Ruby finished Emma's drink and mimicked her position. "Operation Love struck moron."

Emma frowned. "I'm not a moron."

"No. You're just love struck. Regina's the moron if she doesn't fall for you." And Ruby meant it, because she had been one of those girls to sleep with Emma and though they were good in bed together they were even better as friends and Ruby was defensive of her best friend.

"I'm so like, sorry that you are stuck with Emma," groaned Kathryn, fluttering her lashes dramatically. She, Regina, Maleficent, Cruella, and Ursula were sitting having lunch together. Lunch, consisting of sad salads that left an iron like taste in Regina's mouth. Or that could be from the way she chewing on the inside of her cheek.

She was mulling over what she had said to Emma. What she had called her. Frankly, she was raised to do better. To be better. She shouldn't let an idiot like Emma provoke her. She needed to go and apologize for her behavior. She couldn't have it leaking out to some teachers that she had been rude. She didn't want college to learn about this and to strike her off their records.

"She's the worst," Ursula agreed, spearing a tomato with too much gusto and almost splattering its innards all over Mal's white sweater that lay on top of her button up.

"You should ask administration to drop her from your tutoring schedule. You're their little darling, they'll have to listen," Mal said, stirring a spoon through her apple sauce.

"I do not like giving up on those less gifted," Regina said to them. "It would reflect badly on me if I just gave up. The school would think I could not do it, and I do not need that."

"But are her low grades and lack of progress not reflecting badly on you already?" Cruella suggested and Kathryn gasped out, hands to her face. "Oh dear, that is bad!" Kathryn always was melodramatic, but she was refreshing against the back drop of the others in the friend group who all spoke stiffly and sounded like suburban moms. They styled their hair like them too. All short cut bobs just in different colors. It was almost like they were trying to copy Regina's coiffed look but come off as too different to be called a copy cat.

She found their mimicry flattering but she didn't need it. In fact, she wouldn't have minded if they had their own opinions or hobbies that did not involve around her. It just felt odd after a while.

"We shall see. I shall change her yet," Regina promised, and she had no idea how true her words would become. Except it wouldn't just apply to grades, but other more personal matters.