Disclaimer: (groans) Do I have to? (smiles slyly) owkie…I do not own saiyuki…the one who owns it is really lucky..gosh! I envy her so much!
A/N (yep….it's kinda IMPORTANT that you read this haha!): owkieee…..(breathes air) weeeeee! I can't believe I'm doing this again, due to constant demand (AND NAGGING from my friends telling me that I should be more "committed" to the work that I started) I'm back to update this fic (scatters confetti everywhere) okei, for starters, I want to ask for forgiveness for not updating this fic (bows head) GOMEN…I'm really sorry coz' I'm so busy with a lot of things (I'm in college now by the way…imagine how time flies! Smile smile smile!) Also, I have to remind everyone that dragonwingmaster and lethargicangel is one and the same (yep, I changed my pen name coz it's kinda long to type dragonwingmaster all the time….erm…hope you understand (grins) and perhaps…another reason is…hehe…i'm…erm always lethargic? (dear Sanzo-sama eyed the author while murmuring "weird kid…I pity you") hmph! Don't mind that monkie! (hmmm….i kinda like the sound of that! Monkie monkie!) okei…back to the A/N…since a lot have happened to our milieu and to Sanzo's group (with the requiem, the reloaded episodes and the gunlock episodes released) that means that a lot of torture…I mean…statements will be made by yours truly…again. I read my last entries and I realized that I really need to update this…it also bring back good memories…Pardon me for not updating…and THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED MY FIC and added this to their favorites. I really appreciate everything…I hope that you'll support the new updates too I DEDICATE THIS TO ALL OF YOU and hopefully, you'll like em the way you liked the last chapters…I know my writing skills became a little rusty this past few years (coz…I almost gave up on writing) but hopefully, I'll be able to get my muse back and be able to write good fanfics again for all of you. Enjoy
Ps: thanks for the suggestions minna-san! They encouraged me to write again (winx)
IF AND THEN STATEMENTS (RELOADED): CHAPTER IV
By -LethargicAngel- (a.k.a dragonwingmaster)
STATEMENT # 16: IF Sanzo's group meet -LethargicAngel- in person (which means…not just in the fanfics…erm…okei, let's just imagine that THAT'S possible)…
…THEN…imagine me jumping up and down, like a little child under the Christmas tree…running around like some sort of lunatic (did I just said that? Haha!)
…THEN…erm…imagine me dead on the ground (damn! I DID said that?) c/o Sanzo's gun
…THEN…a big mob of Saiyuki fans will destroy our humble home
…THEN…erm…imagine me dead (again) but this time care of Hakkai's fans!
…THEN… Goku will say "Can we keep her? Please? She looks edible!"? (sweatdrops)
…THEN…they should hide hakuryu…before I take it as my pet!
…THEN…hmmm…with –LetahrgicAngel- dead…who's going to continue this fanfic? (applause from Sanzo's group…they've been saved from torture)
ps. Woah! That's not a good start for my return! Me? Dead! Gotta find my muse…where o where is my muse! And who possessed me right now causing me to write something so…so…(Lethargic angel reads statement 16) hmm…meeting Hakkai is not that bad hehe…but me dead? ehehehe… (saw Kanzeon typing) aha! So you're the one who wrote that statement! Stop messing with my computer! Ehem…sorry for the interruption…back to the statements…
STATEMENT # 17: IF Sanzo is asked by Kanzeon to run a school…
…THEN…woah! There will be millions of people who are going to enroll! That includes me of course!
…THEN…imagine the name of the school…then it will say "this prestigious school is exclusively run by a high ranked monk" then a banner at the front of the school states "So what are you waiting for? Enroll now! And get the best education and training that suits you! No tuition fee increase! No ugly cafeteria ladies!"…okei…now who made that banner? (saw hakuryu with a paintbrush) I knew it!
…THEN…nice! The Sanzo-ikkou in formal wear! Haha!
…THEN…I wonder…what will Goku teach? Home Economics? I bet he'll teach Nutrition! Or perhaps he'll be helping in the school cafeteria?
…THEN…What! Gojyo is teaching P.E.? hmm…suits him, I mean…he is strong and lean and everything…but…ehehehe… let's have a look at this situation shall we?
Kanzeon: this will be your curriculum (hands long paper to Gojyo)
Gojyo: wow! I'm teaching P.E.? that means….(drools as he imagine girls in their gym shorts) I'll take the job! When will I start?
Kanzeon: (smiles slyly) you're forgetting THIS detail (points at the paper)
Gojyo: (reads paper) eh? You…you…serious?
Kanzeon: (nods head) you could ask help from Doku if you like (grins)
Gojyo: (eyes wide) NANI! ARE YOU CRAZY! You expect me to teach folk dances and…and…BALLROOM DANCING with TINIKLING! (note: tinikling is a famous folk dance here in the Philippines…it's a dance where you risk your life in clicking bamboos that can rip your toes apart hehe…trust me…it hurts)
…THEN…Hakkai will be teaching girls how to cook…erm…and will keep on reminding them to look at what they're doing instead of looking at his face
…THEN…one of Hakkai's student will surely be GOKU! He will be the official taste tester!
…THEN… WHAT! Lirin is in the pre-school department! What is she doing there? What is she teaching? (runs to check…only to find her sleeping cozily with the other children) aww…kawaii!
…THEN…hmm…principal Sanzo…let's see what he's up to (visits the principals office only to find him reading the newspaper with a cigarette on his mouth) erm…I guess he's busy? (sweatdrops)
…THEN…oh no! teachers should be good examples right? How will Gojyo smoke now? What more…how will the principal discipline his self!
…THEN…Prof. Nii will teach a lot of subjects…that is…if Sanzo will hire him in the first place (evil grin)
…THEN…this school will either be the best school or the most chaotic one in the whole world
…THEN…perhaps they will teach some of their…skills? Wow! That would be nice! I can already see one session in Hakkai's class: he is teaching them "ala Yoga style" how to concentrate their Chi…then again…how will Goku teach students how to use his almighty staff?
…THEN…someone…either from the department of education or anyone from the government will do something to close this school down…it's causing them a lot of ruckus (winks)
…THEN…no worries to people who get hurt in the process of learning…Nurse Yaone is always in the clinic to supply your needs! (saw a long line of boys in front of the school clinic)…hey! What the hell is teacher Gojyo doing in the queue?
…THEN…so…who among them will teach history? (everyone looked at Jiroushin)
STATEMENT # 18: IF Sanzo's group is forced to work together with Kougaiji's group…
…THEN…big fights coming up! Who's going to be group leader?
…THEN…this will be another entry for Ripley's believe it or not!
…THEN…Kanzeon will sing "reunited makes me feel so good…" at the top of her lungs!…music that suits her age…oops!
…THEN…it's either they're both up to something good…or both of them is up to something more chaotic…imagine them participating on the same project? Nah!
…THEN…awww…Lirin is working side by side with her baldie Sanzo! Monkie monkie! (gets a slap from the fan) ITAI!
…THEN...so, what are they doing together? (saw them watching the DVDs of Gensomaden Saiyuki) I should have not asked!
…THEN…goodness! Goku and Lirin will keep on fighting about food! Gojyo will have a new competitor!
…THEN…NANI! How the heck will they all fit in hakuryu! Hakuryu should change into a truck!
…THEN…does this mean that Hakkai will have to wash more clothes? Except if Yaone will help in doing the laundry
…THEN…Sanzo will have to do more baby-sitting this time! Two little sarus to take care!
…THEN…big brother Doku will have a lot of disciplining to do with his "lil bro"
…THEN…So…who's going to drive this time? Are they going to use hakuryu or they'll be using the Hiryus? (woah! it rhymes)
…THEN…imagine them in the same attire...black pants and white shirt…they're at the middle of a huge stage, audience awaits this very day, then…music came out of nowhere and a commentator's voice boomed to break the silence of the crowd…
Yaone: now…let's give a big round of applause for a special dance number from the…erm…what do you call your group again?
Everyone: sweatdrops
Lirin: I know! How about…"the demon dancers!"
Goku: speak for yourself! How about "Sanzo and the dancing potatos?"
(giant slap from the almighty fan)
Sanzo: Ch' stop thinking about food baka saru!
Gojyo: How come we don't have sexy back up dancers?
(another WHAPACK! From the fan)
Hakkai: erm…ano…how about "Saiyuki dance troupe"
(everyone fell silent)
Hakkai: ehehehe…erm…I'm just kidding…
Kougaiji: hmmm…. "Saiyuki dance troupe"…sounds good to me
(sweatdrops from everyone…Yaone fainted)
...THEN…youkais beware! Prepare yourselves to the new improved group of Sanzo! (kougaiji looked at –LethargicAngel- darkly) I mean…to the new improved group of Kougaiji (Sanzo cocked his gun on –LethargicAngel-'s direction) I mean…wah! Who's group leader anyway! (Hakuryu:kyu kyu) okie…prepare yourselves to the new improved group of Hakuryu!
A/N: that's it for now… hope you guys liked it. I know it's been a long time since I last wrote in this section. So please, tell me what you think about it. if you have suggestions feel free to say it NICELY, comments are welcome as long as you will be merciful (I'm only human ) hopefully this addition will revive my writing spirit again (I'm still looking for my missing muse…I wonder where it has been?) I hope that I'll be able to improve more. This is dedicated to all of you. Some of the statements here are from the suggestions of kind people who reviewed my past fics (thanks for the idea! …I'll also make new chapters from the new suggestions ) so…I guess it's time for me to go…yawns bye bye
Sanzo: hey! Don't you dare walk away from us!
-LethargicAngel-: nani? yawns oh! It's monkie!
Sanzo: URUSAI! stop calling me monkie!
Next chapter preview:
STATEMENT # 19: IF the sanzo-ikkou will be attending school together (yep…this time THEY'RE the students…let em feel the pain of being a student nyahahaha…ahem…)…