Kneeling over Suzaku's unconscious body, I lightly poked him on the cheek with my index finger. "Hey. Boya. Wake up."

He stirred a little, and then I started getting annoyed. "If you're military, Suzaku, then you're not allowed to be as obnoxious a sleeper as me! Wake UP dammit!"

With heavier shaking, Suzaku finally abruptly woke up and instinctively pushed me off of him. "Who are -"

He blinks, putting two and two together. "...that voice... you were the guy in my head?"

Getting back to my feet, I dramatically toss my arms out to the side just like Chris Jericho, and even do an impression! "That's right - the GREATEST OF ALL TIME is right here! LIVE, in Shinjuku Ghetto!"

Suzaku... chose to ignore me for a moment, the little shit, and look around the two of us. As he observed the lack of human habitation, his eyes narrowed... until they grew wide as dinner saucers when he finally noticed the sky, a roiling mass of colors like if every Aurora Borealis ever had been compressed into a lava lamp. "This... is this some kind of dying dream?"

Not just a dream, he wonders, but specifically a dying dream. "Yeah, about that... I don't normally like seriously playing the asshole, but I'm gonna cut to the chase here, Suzaku."

With that, I give him the pointer finger. "I know you want to die, and I know it stems from the fact you killed your father when you were a kid."

Then, as his eyes go wide and his body language turns defensive, I point at myself. "I, do not want to die. And I damn sure don't want to die a virgin. But since I'm stuck in your head? If you die, odds are pretty good that I'm gonna die too, and I'm soooo not okay with that. So, how do you want to resolve this issue?"

Suzaku doesn't say anything for a long moment, and instead crosses his arms, face tense. Eventually, he finally gets around to speaking his mind. "...if you think of yourself as a virgin, then I guess that means you really do have to be more than just some some twisted creation of my own mind."

...what? If I think of myself as a - "You little shit, you're telling me you've already dropped your V-ca..."

Well played, Suzaku, I think as I narrow my eyes in annoyance. "You're trying to dodge the topic at hand. But now I don't feel like trying to be nice anymore."

Suzaku shrugs. "To be honest, the fact you identified Lelouch at a glance even before I was able to recognize him was a big clue, but for all I knew that could have just been my subconscious working faster than my conscious mind would be able to."

...more logical than I would have expected of you, Suzaku.

And before I can open my mouth to say something mean, Suzaku continues, watching me cautiously. "You also knew ahead of time that Lelouch and I weren't in danger from the poison gas. But you didn't know about the Guard Captain working with the Purist Faction. There are things I know that you don't, and things I couldn't possibly have known, that you do. Even if I don't have an explanation as to how you're in my head, it's pretty obvious that you're a separate person from me."

A moment later, he lets out a heavy sigh. "And... you're right. No matter who you are, it isn't fair to ask that you die for my sins."

...well, shit. "...looks like I owe you an apology, Suzaku. I've seen how you can turn out in the future, and I've been letting that color my attitude about you since we met."

Suzaku blinks, visibly unsure of quite how to process that. "How I... can turn out? Are you saying you're a... time traveler or something?"

"Eh..." shit, how do I answer that? "No, I'm not. But I know enough about some futures of this world that it's a good enough explanation, so let's go with that anyway and move on."

Suzaku doesn't look ready to leave the topic for dead just yet, but then he jumps, as if just catching the implications of what I said. "...wait. How do I turn out?"

...this Suzaku, at the start of the show? He's, for the most part, a good kid. I didn't really expect that I would, but I feel bad for dumping this on him. "...the short version is that you and Lelouch spend the better part of a year or so trying to kill each other - first unwittingly, and then after a point it gets absolutely personal. You do reconcile after while, but in the end, Lelouch asks you to kill him."

I look Suzaku right in the eyes. "And you do it. On global TV. And the world calls you a hero for it."

While I'm say that, the aurora sky above us shows a brief montage from the anime that highlights Suzaku in the Lancelot tearing through Black Knight forces, followed by Suzaku selling out Lelouch to Emperor Charles, followed by the end of the Zero Requiem plan.

As Suzaku watches another history unfold, his eyes grow wide with horror. "This... pity I'm feeling in the back of my heart," he asks after a long moment, "it isn't mine. Is it yours?"

Turning back to face me, he asks, "Is... is that where my death wish leads me? Where it leads Lelouch?"

...I was going to ask these questions out of spite earlier, but now? Now, I don't have the spite in me anymore. "For all that he was upset to see you in a Britannian uniform, I think it safe to say that Lelouch still considers you to be his best friend. The only person in the world who is unquestionably more important to him than you, at this point, is Nunnally. You can't let yourself die without hurting him - and Nunnally too for that matter. You do know that, right?"

Suzaku looks down, seemingly acknowledging the reality of what I've just said, but frustrated that he doesn't have an actual counterargument. "...if you know the truth about my father's death, then you should at least understand why I'm..."

He can't seem to quite find the strength of will to admit he's 'suicidal' at the moment, so instead he concludes, "...the way I am. Isn't that a fact?"

I plop down on the faux-Shinjuku asphalt and have myself a seat, crossing my legs Indian-style. "...the short version is that you feel you need to be punished for your father's murder, right?"

Suzaku remains standing, but after several seconds of extended silence, he nods. "Yes."

"Suzaku," I drawl with a sigh, "I don't claim to be an expert on Japanese law. Or Britannian military law either, for that matter. But, there is somethin' I gotta ask you real quick."

Suzaku seems to relax for a split second, taken off guard by the fact that I'm continuing this with a question.

Looking up at Suzaku, I ask him, "In what country or even universe, kiddo, does a murderer get to decide the sentence for their own crime?"

Suzaku takes the question like a slap in the face, even going so far as to lose his balance.

"If it were just killing yourself," I continue, "you've had any number of chances to do it. If it were justice, I'm sure you could've taken your case to the authorities - but then, I guess the Purists in charge of Area 11 would either not fucking care, or just take it as an excuse to go ahead and shoot you themselves. But in the seven or eight years since that day, you apparently haven't done either. So, that makes me wanna ask: why?"

For a long moment, there isn't an answer. Until the aurora sky changes again, showing that morning on the hillside seven years ago, as Suzaku and Lelouch watched with horror and outrage as Britannia utterly steamrolled Japan.

Lelouch cried out, swearing that he would obliterate Britannia. But Suzaku... even if he kept it quiet, you can see from the fire in his eyes that he's made a promise too.

I... I'm going to change the world!

"...so that's it, huh," I muse. "You feel you owe a debt of justice to your father for killing him. But you also feel a great responsibility towards your people, and you can't abandon that duty without putting everything you have into it. Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. 'Conflicting loyalties' might as well be your middle name, after all."

Suzaku remains silent for a long moment, and given that even now I'm getting flashes of what he's feeling? I'm inclined to let him.

"...we don't have to be at an impasse," he slowly begins.

...but needless to say, that gets my attention. "You haven't been able to live with your guilt, nor to quite let yourself die with your job unfinished, Suzaku. Are you saying that you're finally ready to make make a choice of one or the other?"

Suzaku walks forward and stands over me, face unreadable. "Even if we don't know how this started, we both share the same mind and the same body now. And we've been experiencing each other's thoughts and feelings this whole time. If you're willing to try it, I don't think there's a reason we couldn't fuse together into a single being."

Leaning down and offering me his hand, he concludes, "Together, we stand a better chance of achieving what we both want."

So the whole time I've been reading him, he's been reading me, huh? ...wait.

...heh. Heheheahaha. "AAAAAAAAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA!"

Cackling into my hand, I ask him, "Is this your third option, kiddo?! 'Suzaku Kururugi' dies for his sins, while a new 'Suzaku Kururugi' both like and unlike him steps up to continue fighting in his place? And instead of keeping me in the back seat, you're willing to give me - a total stranger to you - a hand on the steering wheel, no less?! How do you know I wouldn't just quit the army, go find a hooker or something, and then off ourselves?"

Suzaku's answer to that is to fucking smile at me. "I look at you, and see someone who's a judgmental smartass, a relentless complainer, and even something of a coward... who believes there are right and wrong ways to go through life, and who tears himself up inside when he can't help the people in front of him. Even if we have our differences, I think we're alike in the ways that matter most."

...fuck. I don't have a counterargument for that.

His smile dims a little, but not quite to the point of becoming a frown. "And besides, we both knew there's something you want badly. And while I know that this isn't the path you'd like? Sad to say that my deal is the best chance you're going to have at getting it."

I don't need to look up at the aurora sky we've got, and what's showing on it, to know what he's talking about. Being screwed around with. Overlooked. Abandoned.

...after scratching my beard for a few seconds, I shake my head.

Suzaku extends his hand to me one more time, insisting that the chance is mine if I'm willing to take it.

...

Fuck even one more day of that shit.

"I'm gonna trade that life for fortune and fame..."

I stand up, look Suzaku right in the eyes, and shake his hand in acceptance of the deal!

"I'd even cut my hair and change my name!"

...guh! So... many... memories?!

This whole world, it's blurring and slurring together...!

Everything turns a hot, blinding white.

"Hey man, you know something?" It's a really small comfort that he sounds as discombobulated as I am as he says, "...that really wasn't as cool of an answer as you thought it was."

"...oh I hope you fucking enjoyed taking that shot at me Suzaku, because it's the last one you're ever getting!"

That laughter I hear in response... doesn't it sound like the both of us?

Britannian Army Mobile Command Center - Medical Truck 4

"His brainwaves seem to be stabilizing," Cecile reported as she studied the diagnostics in front of her. "Unless there are further complications, I expect that Mister Suzaku will wake up in the next fifteen minutes, perhaps sooner."

"Lovely, simply lovely! I must say, I can hardly wait for our new devicer to come online!"

A statement that equally giddy and devoid of compassion could have only come from a certain Earl Lloyd Asplund, her superior and director in Military Research and Development. With the patience of a Saint, and the experience born of working with Lloyd for years, Cecile had long since come beyond the point of letting her exasperation with her boss slow her down. "There still isn't any guarantee that he'll choose to operate the Lancelot," she patiently reminded him instead.

That got Lloyd to stop for a moment, pondering. "Hrm... well, I suppose you aren't technically wrong about that, Cecile. But after we came all this way, and on your wonderful deductions no less?"

Ever dramatic enough for the entire team, Lloyd brought a hand to his face and sighed. "It would be nothing short of a tragedy to have to return to the laboratory without so much as a scrap of new data."

Cecile fought back a frown, unable to quite disagree with that sentiment. Though she never had been and never would be as manic as her boss, she was still a scientist - and before that, even, a human being. Everyone found it demoralizing to have their efforts squandered, no matter their trade or position in life.

These brainwave patterns, though...

As Cecile pulled up readouts from the last several minutes into a secondary screen on her terminal, she was struck again by the puzzle that lay before her. The entire time they'd had the young Private hooked up for treatment and monitoring, his brainwave activity had been unusually high for someone unconscious - enough so, in fact, that she and Lloyd had wondered for several minutes if he'd been actually asleep, or faking it.

Then, about twenty minutes ago, his brain activity had spiked to the point of indicating a seizure, and a few minutes later they had in fact had to strap Suzaku to the table in order to prevent him from aggravating his injury.

With any luck, his unconscious state meant that he hadn't suffered any pain when she took the bullet out and cleaned the wound. Even now, she found herself glancing over to the young man, visually confirming that Suzaku's wrappings were appropriately tight, binding his side together with appropriate pressure.

Gradually, enough so that she didn't realize it at first, her eyes slid from Suzaku's bandages to his well-toned abdominal muscles, on up to his firm chest and from there -

Cecile abruptly shook her head, the faintest dusting of red on her cheeks, and returned to her analysis. She hadn't meant to check him out like that; it was conduct unbecoming of her, and inappropriate for the situation. She'd make it up to Suzaku later. Maybe he'd accept a home-cooked meal as an apology?

At that time, a low groan from the bench got her attention. "Lloyd," Cecile called out, "he seems to be waking up." Idly, she checked her watch... eight and a half minutes since she'd given her initial estimate. Perhaps Suzaku was the type to recover and bounce back quickly?

"HAVING A BAD DAY, ARE WE?"

Cecile turned back to Suzaku just quickly enough to watch it all unfold: the way young Honorary tried to jump up off the bench like a rocket as he yelped in alarm... and then the anti-seizure restraints held, constraining Suzaku in place and causing his head to fall back and hit the double-thickness pillow she'd placed just in case of such an event.

"What the... where-?"

While Lloyd merrily continued needling Suzaku for a moment, Cecile took stock of the young man's behavior and reactions as she got up to examine him. The way his green eyes darted around, taking stock of everything around him, seemed par for the course from a soldier. ...but then he'd take a second glance almost immediately afterward, and almost seem faintly surprised or impressed. Almost as if he were trying to reconcile his surroundings as both familiar, and unfamiliar at the same time.

Just as Suzaku was asking Lloyd for an update on the battle, his gaze slid over to her, and... he completely froze up, eyes wide. Cecile had seen the look on his face somewhere before, she knew it... and after a long moment, she finally remembered where.

Johnny had almost that very same expression when he experienced the Badlands of South Dakota for the first time with his own eyes, after previously only seeing it in pictures or on film.

But... Lloyd was nobility, and as the man in charge of Knightmare Research and Development, fairly well-known for his eccentricities. Her face, on the other hand, shouldn't be so well known. Curiouser and curiouser.

Still, though, the way he was just staring at her... called for a short experiment. "I'm sorry," she asked, "but is there something on my face?"

The question shocked Suzaku out of his stupor, and he frantically shook his head. "No, nothing at all like that, you're just so beautiful my brain stopped working -"

No sooner had the words left his mouth than Suzaku immediately covered his face with his hands and groaned in embarrassment. "...I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Simple, honest, genuine... Cecile liked that. "It's fine, and thank you for the compliment, Mister Suzaku. My name is Cecile Croomy," she introduced herself, "and I work as an assistant for Lloyd, whom you've already been introduced to."

"Right," he replied with a nod, leaping desperately onto the change of topic. "And I'm Private Suzaku Kururugi, Third Honorary Infantry Division... but of course the two of you already knew that," he recalls with an embarrassed wince. "Right."

"And now that we've concluded with introductions," Lloyd asked with a flourish, "how much experience do you have operating a Knightmare Frame?"

To see Lloyd dangling the Lancelot's activation key in front of - for all intents and purposes - a stranger, struck Cecile as unusual and significant. With any other machine it might not have meant anything, but this was Lloyd's personal pet project. Either Suzaku already had some degree of experience as a KMF operator... or else there was something specific about Suzaku in particular that made him stand out in Lloyd's mind as an ideal pilot.

"The military wouldn't put an Eleven at the controls of a Knightmare," Suzaku said in response. Which wasn't untrue at a social level, but there weren't actually any regulations that forbade Honorary Britannians from becoming pilots. There was no legal reason that they couldn't.

"Lovely way of dodging the question," Lloyd noted without judgment. "But supposing that I offered you the power to change the world, Private..."

The interior lights of the medical trailer gleamed and glinted off of Lloyd's glasses as he asked, "What would you say to that?"

Instead of answering immediately, Suzaku reached out for a glass of water and chugged it, before then making a face as if he'd just taken a shot of something with a strong kick to it. "When can I start?"

[-To be continued...]