Hi guys, don't know how many of you still follow this story at this point, but I want to thank every one of you that has contributed to make me feel like it was worth finishing it. Of course, Stefanie is the one who has given me the most help with all the feedback and precious comments. I hope she knows how much she means to me.

We have arrived to the penultimate chapter of this turbulent and crazy story, hope you'll like it.

Drop a review if you can :)

G-

Chapter 19: Feel something

Second trimester

Donna had always been a woman of the world.

People were the ones who made the world what it was: by inhabiting it, molding it, and setting the rules they'll have to follow themselves. And that's why knowing what made them tick was the base to understanding how society worked.

Since she was a teenager, she had been a part of social events, always keen to help out. She never attended them in hopes to be the prom queen, the girl who craved her five minutes of glory up on a stage with a pretty band and a bouquet of flowers. No, she did it because she liked what happened behind the scenes. She enjoyed working on the logistic, organizing and making it all perfect. Her great taste had only sharpened in the years, and she had quickly learned how to impress and make people swoon.

Her charms had worked perfectly at the firm: while she was pleased with the spotlight that enchanting new and old clients with mastery and ease brought her, Harvey and Jessica knew that they were in safe hands. They had a trusted person who was able to excel in what wasn't their field. When it came to court, dealing with people didn't constitute a problem, but interacting with them over a glass of Chardonnay wasn't their strong suit.

So yes, Donna had been the core of the Pearson, Specter, Litt's main events, but she hadn't organized one in what felt like forever. With Mike going to prison, the shooting, and Jessica's departure there hadn't been much to celebrate.

When Louis had asked her the favor of taking care of the upcoming gala for him, she hadn't been too enthusiastic for obvious reasons. Her mind was entirely occupied by the imminent arrival of a newborn, and adding this on top of the hundred things she had to deal with right now hadn't felt like the best idea.

But once she got caught up in organizing, she realized it wasn't so bad after all. Being in charge of something new was stimulating and challenging. She felt useful and in her element, perfectly in tune with the inspiring nature of the task.

She had later discovered that the charity at hand was also one she had supported for over three years, so that was a bonus.

No matter how exciting her duties revealed to be, though, the thought that nagged her head while she was touching up the last details of her makeup was far from which hour the catering would deliver the oysters.

"Emily?" Harvey asked, all but a whisper, afraid of yet another rejection.

Donna chuckled, almost amused that he would be so naive to propose that particular name to her. Like he didn't know she would block it straight away. "Veto!" She turned to the mirror of their bedroom vanity again, to signal that the conversation was over.

Harvey lifted a hand to his head to mess with his perfectly coiffed hair. He met her gaze in the reflection of the mirror and voiced his disappointment. "That's not possible. You just vetoed my last three!"

Donna suddenly put the lipstick in her hands down on the victorian furniture, spinning around and looking him dead in the eyes. Harvey's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed upon her compelling gaze.

"Need I to remind you that when I went to Spain I asked Emily Carlson for a phone top-up otherwise I would get cut off until I came back? Well, twenty years later and I'm still waiting." she cocked her head to the side and scrunched her nose sardonically.

"And twenty years later you don't hold a grudge," he teased her, rolling his eyes.

"Emily is a big fat no."

Without further ado, she turned back to the mirror to apply her lipstick. Her movements were sharp and confident, as to enforce her resolve. Red tinged her lips, like the color of the blood that would be shed in case Harvey thought of bringing that up again.

Harvey slumped on the edge of the bed, tired after over thirty minutes of discussing baby names. Weirdly enough, the thought of having to settle on a name for their child was a thought that never crossed his mind. And even if the conversation had been brought up casually, the outcome had been nothing but. He knew that both he and Donna weren't people to back down and compromise, but he could never imagine them to be so competitive over something so simple. And yet, thinking about it, choosing the name that their own child would carry forever, the name that would mean rather good or bad news, didn't seem so simple after all.

"Alright." Seemingly defeated, he patted his hands on his navy blue pants.

Donna loved him in navy blue. And maybe it was that, or the fact that her head was thumping, or the fact that she wanted them both not to have any regrets, that had her extending a peace offering. "Look," she stuck the tip of her tongue out to wet her lips, "let's just say we have four vetoes each."

"No way. Five," he countered.

"Four," Donna insisted.

"Six," Harvey raised the stakes.

Donna scoffed. "Alright, five."

"Didn't think you'd cave that easily, Paulsen." Harvey smirked.

"Don't speak too soon. I need those five vetoes. And they don't even begin to cover the names of all the women you've slept with."

Donna really outdid herself tonight, and the general approval was on everyone's lips. The gala had quickly become the talk of the town, and many Harvard alumni, now turned rich and bored old businessmen, happily hopped on the chance of reviewing some old friendships and what they would describe as 'the happiest years of their lives'. But, of course, the invite also extended to very young and promising attorneys, just as opulent as their older selves.

Donna had planned every little detail, from the ice for the cocktails to the breathtaking location, and a sophisticated eye could immediately spot the results of hard work. She had been breaking her back to make the evening suitable and comfortable for everyone, but most of all, to coax people into opening their wallets and make generous offers. And if there was one thing she did know, it was that generous offers were promoted by good entertainment and good alcohol. No one bored or sober would be prone to donate.

Donna had been spending the whole night wandering around the room, apparently aimless. But Harvey had been keeping a close eye on her (and when did he not), knowing that what she, even if seeming so chilled and relaxed, was really plotting something was far from aimless. He knew how her tactics worked — had seen her apply them to others and to himself — and he knew when she was hunting. He also knew when someone had been caught in her net and didn't even notice it. She seamlessly waltzed from one group to another, charming women with compliments over their dresses, and stroking men's egos with attention and light flirting. And that was when Harvey knew — she was trying to get them to open their checkbooks.

And even if that meant that every time she laughed at a man's joke, or brushed their upper arm, or batted her eyelashes some extra, it was completely innocent and solely aimed to her benefit, he couldn't help but feel a little irritated. He wouldn't call it jealousy. Except it totally was. Did the idea of craving Donna by his side, marked as his, made him a bit of a caveman? Probably. And yet he couldn't help but feel the irrepressible desire of yelling from a rooftop that she was the mother of his child and that he was the luckiest bastard in the whole world.

But Donna had insisted on wanting to keep it a secret for a little longer, despite being almost four months. She just enjoyed their little bubble so much, where everything was uncomplicated and perfect, and where time had stopped. No matter how excited and glad she was that she got to break the news to her dearest friends, she also knew that the moment it happened, everything would become more real, and maybe she wasn't completely ready for that. Kisses, hugs, and congratulations were a sign of love and care but could be a little naggy coming from dozens of people. Harvey already provided them in spades.

So Donna just focused on enjoying the night.

She had just promised the tall and handsome head of Miller & Garcia to refill his drink in order to have something refreshing to sip while he kept filling her in about his brilliant mind and how he got into law school much earlier than anyone else from his old class. Needless to say, she was utterly and completely bored. But the attractive stranger seemed looser after having had his fair share of booze and she was sure that with a little bit more pillow talk she

could make him scribble some more zeroes on his offer.

The thing was, Harvey wasn't so sure that the pillow talk didn't include an actual bed in Miller's mind.

Donna approached one of the counters at the corner of the room and hopped on a stool, giving a break to her swollen feet. She slightly leaned against the cool marble with her left elbow and slid the empty glass on the surface, motioning with a flex of her finger for a refill.

The young bartender seemed utterly perplexed by the gesture, probably not understanding how these things worked. With every chance, he was still living with his parents, who wanted to teach him a life lesson about hard work and money and had forced him to take this part-time job. His bright and curious eyes trailed from the woman sitting in front of him to the glass between them, unsure of what to do.

Donna scoffed, not knowing if she felt rather experienced or old.

"Another whiskey and soda," she explained.

"Ma'am that's the fifth already." His voice came out just above a whisper, worried he might upset the older woman and that he was overstepping. What he didn't know was that calling Donna Ma'am was what really upset her. He wasn't paid enough for any of that shit, anyway.

"Who are you? My mother?" she bit.

The young boy was startled by the comment and immediately pulled out a bottle. His attitude screamed naive and inexperienced, and Donna suddenly felt bad for him.

"Your child is the devil's offspring." She heard the snarky comment behind her back. She turned around to see Harvey with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"How is it that every time it's something bad it becomes my child instead of our child?"

"Oh, so you do remember you're carrying our child. Could have fooled me with all that flirting with Scrooge McDuck."

Donna feigned a pitiful look. "Ouch. Are you hurt because he's richer than you?"

"He's also older."

"He's 37," Donna stated with conviction, making his certainties crumble.

Fuck.

Harvey's face fell. "That's it. Let's get out of here."

"Harvey," Donna moaned, halting his movements and grabbing his forearm. "Come on, I'm having fun!"

"I can see that," he said, not too sarcastically. His gaze flicked between Donna and Miller, still waiting for her with hope in his eyes.

"Harvey—"

"It's just… you gave him the puppy eyes," he admitted, his eyes finding the floor. His shoes suddenly got very interesting. He knew Donna was a master at reading him, but letting her do it on her own and drawing her conclusions was a thing, while him voicing his insecurities… was another. He had never gotten used to feeling unsure about something. And this time wasn't about something it was about her.

"Harvey," she stroked his arm up and down, as well as his soul, "I need my fake puppy eyes with him to give poor African children a chance. But with you…" she trailed off, looking him straight in the eyes and conveying exactly how she felt. As always, they didn't need words.

Harvey immediately got it. He knew he didn't need to be assured about Donna's feelings, but it felt good to be reminded sometimes.

"You're the real thing," she whispered as she cradled his cheek and brought him down for a lingering kiss.

"Love you," Harvey said. He didn't use those words often, but when he did… oh man. When he did it felt like walking on air.

The bartender seized the quiet moment to hand the now softened woman her drink. Donna took it with a curt nod and hopped off her seat. Harvey eyed her in warning.

"It's for Scrooge McDuck, you idiot." She rolled her eyes playfully. "You can come with me if you promise not to act like you're the alpha male of a wolfpack."

Harvey just chuckled to himself, shaking his head and walking next to her without uttering a word. He often let his eyes rake her red-clad figure unashamedly, appreciating the soft curves of her body and her slightly wider hips, morphing and adapting to the new being growing inside of her. And then, he just stopped dead in his tracks.

Donna, who had slipped her hand in his, found herself suddenly yanked backward. She shot him a confused glare, one he couldn't see because his eyes were fixated anywhere but her face. He just stood there, mouth agape, taking her in. But it didn't feel like he was appreciating her, more like… she wouldn't know how to describe it. He was just staring.

She wasn't delusional — she knew she had been taking on a few more pounds. But for him to just make her notice like th—

"You're showing," he said. Something between disbelief, amazement, and utter affection laced those three words.

But Donna didn't catch on immediately.

"What?"

Harvey took a step forward to close the rather small gap between them. He reached for her swollen stomach and placed his hand under her bellybutton, resting there just enough to let the heat of his palm seep through the fabric of her dress and reach her skin. Maybe even what was underneath. The love of a father wanting to be connected with his child that wasn't even born.

"Donna, you're showing."

Maybe she had started to show yesterday. Or the day before. But in this exact moment — in this position, with this angle and this tight dress — he noticed for the first time. Beside the ultrasound, that was the tangible proof of the life growing inside of her. If anything, that made it even more real. It wasn't an image that, no matter how truthful, they could only spot on a screen, but something they could touch, something they could feel.

Donna's eyes glistened until she couldn't keep it in any longer. She didn't care if she was in a room full of people, she just needed to be in Harvey's arms. So she looped her hands around his neck and held him, a surge of elation making his grip tight enough to support her weight.

"Hey!" Louis, followed by Mike and Rachel, approached the couple. Taking in the joyful moment and dying to be a part of it, he decided to clamp around their embrace, eliciting a growl from Harvey.

The tangle of limbs knocked the wind out of their lungs until Harvey unraveled it with urgency.

"So…" Louis smiled excitedly, "what are we celebrating?"

"Donna is showing!" Harvey announced, too thrilled to think twice about what was coming out of his mouth.

Mike, already aware of their little secret for months now, couldn't help but jump frantically up and down on the spot, while Louis and Rachel shared a confused look.

Harvey bit his tongue and dared a glance to Donna, relieved to see amusement and light-heartedness color her subtle frustration over his slip of the tongue.

"Go on, you can tell them." She gave him permission, squeezing his upper arm.

"You sure?"

"I am." She cocked her head, leaving her two friends in the most complete state of confusion.

Harvey, at that point, decided to put an end to their suffering, "Donna is pregnant." The grin that bloomed on his lips outstretched his cheeks, almost splitting his face in two. The proudness bubbling in his chest made him blow it like a peacock.

Rachel brought her hand to her mouth, covering the O that her lips had instantly formed upon hearing the news. Eyes coated with emotion, they soon gathered with happy tears as the friend enveloped the redhead in a tight hug.

"Oh my god!" she mumbled against her hair, commotion staining her voice. "This is so exciting. Come on, let me see." She nudged Donna playfully, as the redhead turned to give her friends a side glance of her ever-growing belly. Rachel reached for it with one hand and looked sweetly at the soon-to-be parents. "Congratulation, you guys. I cannot think of anyone who deserved it more than the two of you."

Donna was just trying to keep her emotions in check, as she tore her glossy eyes from Rachel and risked to look at Louis for the first time. His expression didn't show anything, completely unreadable. But his jaw had dropped to the floor.

Truth was, Louis' own brain was encountering some difficulties computing the information. Then, his eyes flicked between the pair, and suddenly everything made sense. Every piece was coming together — Donna's sickness, her not touching any alcohol, Harvey being extra caring and protective.

In all honesty, Louis felt a little overwhelmed by the news. He didn't get how is it that Harvey has a baby before he does, how they haven't told him sooner, and if they told him just because Donna was starting to show. The idea of the cocky lawyer and his Girl Friday that came to work at Pearson Hardman over a decade ago now raising a child together… it just needed some adjusting.

"I need some air," Louis choked out, looking for the exit as fast as he could.

Donna was fast on his tail, worried by the way her friend was reacting. He was known for his exaggerated reactions and the melodrama he was used to, but still, she may be feeling a little bit guilty about not telling him sooner.

Donna found him near a fountain, seated on the edge, looking at the lonely goldfish swimming around in the blue and green illuminated water. The light of the moon made his sweaty forehead shine, and she could tell he was nervous.

Donna gently approached him, careful not to startle him. When she was close enough for him to hear her, but not far enough to have to say it too loud — because it didn't get easier with time — she let him into the worst moment of her life "I had a miscarriage."

Louis' head shot up, his perplexed and sorry eyes locking with hers.

"I had a miscarriage last year. Except for the few people who found out by accident and Harvey, I didn't tell anyone. That's why opening up about this pregnancy is difficult for me. But, Louis," she seated herself next to him, offering some comfort by touching his shoulder, "I want you to know that you mean a great deal to me, and I'm so happy that I'm finally able to share this with you." She gave him a tender smile. "I hope you can forgive me."

Donna wasn't looking for a way to excuse herself, but she was equally glad when Louis said, "Donna, I completely understand. I'm so sorry for what happened to you, but I'm even more sorry if you thought that my reaction to your amazing news is not one of happiness. I just... I realized how much changed in a year and felt a bit overwhelmed by it all. But I am utterly ecstatic about your pregnancy, Donna. I know you will make a terrific mother. And Harvey, too."

"Harvey will make a terrific mother?" Donna laughed through the tears.

Louis just chuckled and welcomed her in his arms.

Needless to say, Donna didn't get any more money out of Scrooge McDuck that evening. She would make a more generous donation herself, but for now, it did feel like she won the goddamn lottery.

They reached the twenty-one weeks with alarming speed. Each day seemed to come to an end in the blink of an eye, and Donna was beginning to feel more and more relaxed. At that point, she had gotten used to the pregnancy, and frankly, she couldn't remember a time she wasn't with child.

During the second trimester, your baby's fingers and toes are well-defined. His eyelids, eyebrows, eyelashes, nails, and hair are formed, and teeth and bones are becoming denser. Your baby can even suck his or her thumb, yawn, stretch, and make faces.

If you already couldn't tell, Harvey had been reading a lot of baby books recently. Maybe those were the first books he had ever read.

One thing they didn't tell you in books though, was that when morning sickness subsided, your partner's libido increased rather quickly. So Harvey found himself often called into the file room, forbidden territory since day one of their relationship, for love-making sessions during the middle of the working day. He couldn't even comment on Donna's integrity, giving that she had been the one to forbid rendezvous at the office.

God, he really loved pregnancy hormones.

Another funny thing was that the reproductive organs and genitalia of their baby were now fully developed, and Donna's doctor could see on ultrasound if they were having a boy or a girl. But the couple had decided they wanted to find out at the birth, ready to guess until the end of the pregnancy.

Harvey was sure that Donna had an idea in mind, just like he did. Probably the same, since they kept talking about names for a baby girl. And yet, they hadn't discussed it openly, giving that Harvey was fairly sure that Donna holding back was because last time it had been a boy.

It wasn't unusual for her to get caught up in thinking about what had gone wrong with her first pregnancy. It was often at night, when she laid in bed, stroking her stomach absentmindedly. He knew she loved this baby just as much, and he felt this horrible sense of impotence every time he caught her being pensive.

Once he had joined her after a long day at the firm, her limbs were sprawled on the mattress and her cushion was wet with tears. He didn't need to ask her, he knew she was reminiscing. Maybe even regretting. He had laid down behind her, throwing one leg over hers and looping an arm around her midsection.

I'm here if you need me. I feel it, too, he seemed to say with his nose nuzzled in the crook of her neck.

And it was then that he felt the baby kick for the first time. He had jumped into a sitting position instantly, eyes wide and silently asking Donna if she had felt it too or it had been just his imagination.

Truthfully, she had been feeling this bubbling just recently, but it was so faint that she had thought it was gas or an upset stomach. But if Harvey had felt it too…

Donna wiped her tears and kissed him deeply.

The grief was there, but she was adjusting. She definitely was.

Harvey ran out of air as he reached Heather Jones' examination room. He had reached downtown faster than a speeding bullet, but it still didn't feel nearly fast enough. It felt like he already was on borrowed time.

He had been in court the majority of the morning, and he knew that Donna had scheduled another ultrasound and was going to go by herself. He trusted Heather, more than himself probably, and that's why he had let her go on her own in the first place. Still, as he fought back the other attorney's counts for wrongful termination, he was thinking about how his baby girl or boy was doing.

Yeah, that didn't prove to be particularly helpful to focus on the case. But he couldn't help it. His priorities had changed.

When Judge Wilson had a guard slip her a folded piece of paper, Harvey and his opponent shared a perplexed look. The woman read it silently, raking her eyes across the sloppy handwriting. Then, "Mr. Specter, you are requested downtown. Your wife fainted at her medical visit, said she couldn't reach you at your phone."

His phone. Shit. He had planned on calling Donna during the thirty minutes recess and had turned off his phone.

Harvey bolted out of the room without even thinking about asking for a postponement — guilt over missing the appointment and anxiety for what could be happening to Donna or the baby bubbling in his chest.

When he finally got to Heather's practice, he swung the door open with a few curse words. He found Donna lying on the examining table, hand draped across her forehead and chest rising and falling rapidly. She was panicking, but she wasn't about to show it.

"You ever heard of knocking?" Heather yelled from across the room. She had the doppler pushing to the side of Donna's exposed belly.

"No way! Heather, I told you not to call him!" Donna moaned.

"And why the hell wouldn't she call me?" he said, as he approached Donna and took the hand on her face. "Why the hell did you faint?" He sounded like she was mad at her. Now that he noticed, she did seem a little pale.

"I did not faint," she denied, tears pricking her eyes. She stupidly felt busted.

"Yeah, she did," Heather interjected.

Donna threw her a dead glance.

"Don't look at me like that!" She scolded her, then directed her words to Harvey. "She fainted in the waiting room. At first, I thought 'look at my dumb friend trying to jump the line' but then I checked and…"

"What?" Harvey's throat constricted.

"Her placenta has partly separated from the inner wall of the uterus, and this shouldn't happen before delivery. This can decrease or block the baby's supply of oxygen and nutrients and cause heavy bleeding in the mother," Heather explained.

"So, what do we do now?" Donna asked worriedly.

"I say you stay in bed for the next couple of weeks, and then we'll see how it goes."

And so Donna did what the doctor had ordered. With Harvey constantly checking on her, she never got to leave the house once, let alone stress out. Damn, she couldn't even get up and pee alone. Instead, she indulged in books, and TV-shows, and talks over dinner in bed with Harvey.

She had stopped bleeding almost completely, did not suffer from abdominal or back pain anymore, and was positive she could get back to her normal life as soon as possible. With a few adjustments, of course.

Full of hope, she sat next to Harvey, who had quickly become her jailer, and in front of Heather a week and a half later.

"So why don't you tell me what you want to hear from me, so I say it and we can get out of here?" Donna asked with smartness and sarcasm.

"I'm sorry, Donna. But I didn't like what I saw on screen." Heather looked at the sonogram once again for good measure.

"What?"

"Donna—" Harvey said but was caught off by her sharp tongue.

"No! You don't understand. I can't go three months without moving a muscle or seeing the light of the day. I'll go crazy."

"No! You don't understand! You and this baby are my life. You are far too important for me to loose possibly both of you on a whim. So, shut up and do as the doctor says!" Harvey bursted out. "Goddamn it."

"He's right, Honey," Heather said with a tipped smile.

Donna noticed Harvey had balled his hands into fists, and his knuckles were turning white. He was probably disappointed in himself for lashing out at her that way, but the truth was… he was absolutely right. She took his hand in hers and brushed her thumb across his knuckles, letting him know that he was right and she wasn't mad.

"Say it." She blew out a breath.

"You're on bed rest until the end of the pregnancy."