A/N: Special thanks to April for beta-ing. Crossposted to AO3. Enjoy!

Surreptitious Nights

Lara Jean's window was always Chris' preferred entrance to the Covey house. But when Peter is given the opportunity to use the window, he soon makes a habit of it. Or, four times Peter sneaks into Lara Jean's room, and one time she sneaks into his.

"You know we have a front door, right?"

"Yeah, but what fun would that be?"

i.

Lara Jean couldn't sleep. She told herself she would be asleep by ten p.m., but it's now eleven and she's still awake. Awake, and completely immersed in the current romance novel she's reading. She doesn't read much romance novels anymore, especially since she's living out a fantasy of her own. But sappy clichés help tire her out. Her eyelids are finally about to give out when her phone buzzes on her nightstand. It's a text from Peter. Can I come over? I miss you.

Smiling at her phone, Lara Jean shakes her head. She types back, It's midnight.

Seconds later, she receives a reply. Love knows no time.

Gross, she quickly replies.

I love you, Peter responds with a couple of heart emojis and kissy faces.

Lara Jean is still smiling. Same. But go to sleep.

Can't I sleep with you?

Peter.

Lara.

Lara Jean raises her eyebrows. She hates it when people call her that. It's so… bland. 'Lara Jean' suits her much better. Peter only ever calls her that to get a rise out of her. It always works. She texts back, That's Lara Jean to you.

Lara Jean. Love of my life. Can I come over? Please?

Fine. Only because you said please. And because he called her the love of his life.

I'll be there in ten, Peter quickly answers.

Okay. Use my window.

Window? Why?

Yeah. Chris does it all the time. Lara Jean answers. Just don't wake up Kitty or my dad. Please.

Duh.

Drive safe.

Lara Jean makes sure to keep the window unlocked for Peter before returning to her cheesy novel. But she quickly falls asleep, her book rising and falling on her chest.

Peter arrives shortly after, easily pushing the window open and climbing into his girlfriend's room. He smiles to himself when he sees Lara Jean sprawled on the bed, sleeping, her mouth open and peacefully snoring.

He's not upset that she fell asleep. He just wants to be in her presence. So quietly and carefully, he crawls into bed with her, making sure not to wake her. He chuckles when he sees the cover of the book she's currently reading, a muscular, shirtless man, carrying a beautiful woman wearing a flowy yellow dress. He takes the book and sets it on the nightstand and rolls Lara Jean onto her side. He wraps his arm around her, pulling her close to his chest. Peter rests his face in the nape of her neck, inhaling the scent of her coconut shampoo. Lara Jean squirms.

"Peter?" she says groggily, her eyes still closed.

"Sh…" Peter plants a soft kiss on her ear. He whispers, "It's me. Go to sleep."

"Okay," she breathes. "But you can't spend the night."

"I know." Peter nuzzles his nose behind her ear. "Don't worry. I'll be gone in an hour." He closes his eyes, his breathing matching hers. There's something innocent about spooning that Peter loves. Just laying together, holding each other in comfortable silence. He drifts to sleep, wondering how he got so lucky.

Peter wakes up the next morning with Lara Jean's head on his chest. He takes a deep breath and smiles at his sleeping girlfriend, kissing the top of her head. Then it hits him. He spent the night at Lara Jean's house. He curses under his breath and immediately reaches for his phone on the nightstand. In the process, Lara Jean stirs. She yawns and her face scrunches before fluttering her eyes open, sunlight kissing her face. Her eyes widen when she realizes who she's been using a pillow this whole time.

"Peter!" Lara Jean hits him in the chest.

"Ow!"

"What are you still doing here?!" She sits up and pushes her boyfriend off the bed. "I told you not to spend the night! Daddy's gonna kill me—and you!"

"I'm sorry, Covey!" Peter gets up, smoothing out his clothes. "I fell asleep!"

"What time is it?" Lara Jean panics, jumping out of bed.

Peter checks his phone. "Seven thirty."

"Seven thirty!" Lara Jean repeats. She rubs her forehead. "You need to get out of here." She practically all but pushes Peter out the window. "Ugh, why are you so hard to kick out?"

"I'm just putting on my shoes, Covey, relax!" Peter responds.

"Well, hurry up!"

"Okay, okay," Peter says. He kisses Lara Jean on the cheek. "I'll see you at school."

Lara Jean nods. Peter leaps out the window, losing balance when he steps onto the eaves. He rolls off and thuds into the bushes. Lara Jean gasps.

"Fuck," Peter groans.

"Are you okay?" Lara Jean sticks her head out the window and sees Peter rolling over slowly onto his back.

"I'm fine, I think I broke my arm," Peter grumbles.

"What in the world is going on out here?" Dan steps out on the porch, drinking his morning cup of coffee. His eyebrows rise when he finds Peter laying in the bushes. "Son, are you okay?"

"No, Dr. Covey." Peter struggles to get up. "I landed badly on my arm. I think it's broken."

"What happened?" Dan asks. Peter's looking up, and Dan follows his gaze. He sees Lara Jean's head peeking out the window. He puts the pieces together. He sets his cup on the table beside the patio chair. "Lara Jean, get down here! Now!"

Lara Jean gulps and obliges. In a matter of seconds, she's outside with her dad and her injured boyfriend. "Yes, Daddy?"

"Don't 'yes, Daddy' me," Dan says sternly. He crosses his arms over his chest. "Did Peter spend the night in your room?"

Lara Jean wants to lie, but she knows she can't. Not when there's concrete proof that Peter definitely spent the night. So instead, she nods.

"We'll talk about this later." Dan points a finger at his daughter. He turns back to Peter and helps him up. "We need to get you to a hospital to get your arm checked out."

"I'm sorry Dr. Covey, this was my fault," Peter says, clutching his injured arm. "I swear it'll never happen again." But what Peter really means is, I swear we won't get caught again.

ii.

Lara Jean falls asleep hastily when rain thrums outside her window. Something about the rainy weather instantly knocks her out. But at three in the morning, there's a banging on the window. Lara Jean is startled by it, but she shifts in her sheets and suddenly she's snoring again. The banging repeats, louder this time. Lara Jean snorts herself awake. With her eyes narrow and heavy, she slowly gets up.

Groaning, Lara Jean drags her feet across her room. She yawns when she opens her curtains, and finds Peter smiling sheepishly. Opening the window, she gasps, "It's the middle of the night."

"I know," Peter says softly. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course," Lara Jean moves aside to let Peter crawl in through the window. When he's standing in front of her, she notices his sunken and bloodshot eyes. "Oh, Peter… have you been crying?"

Peter, with furrowed brows, nods and pulls her in for a hug. He squeezes her. He's never hugged Lara Jean quite like this before. He holds her with such urgency, like his life depended on it. Peter begins to sob into Lara Jean's hair, and she rubs his back, wet from the rain. She leads him to her bed to sit down.

Peter nuzzles into Lara Jean's neck, and she plays with his damp, tousled curls. Peter looks up at her, and plants kisses along her jaw. Lara Jean giggles. "Peter. As much as I would love to make out with you right now, I know that's not why you're here." She turns her head to give Peter an open-mouthed kiss. He deepens the kiss, but Lara Jean pulls away. Peter pouts.

"I always want to make out with you," Peter says. His brows furrow. "But you're right."

"Talk to me," Lara Jean says. She takes his hand to intertwine his fingers with hers.

"My dad took me and Owen out for dinner," Peter begins. He peels Lara Jean's hand off his and begins to trace the lines on her palm. "I thought it was just going to be the three of us. But he brought his family. He never brings them."

"What's wrong with that?" Lara Jean rests her head on his shoulder.

"Nothing." Peter shrugs. He sighs. "Just… the way my dad interacts with his new family… the way he treats them… I wish he was like that with Owen and me." He starts to choke up. "I… I wish he… never left."

Lara Jean frowns and puts her hand on Peter's cheek.

"I wonder what it would've been like if he never left us," he ponders. "I usually don't care. I thought I was over it. But I guess I'm not."

"It's okay to think about it sometimes," Lara Jean assures him. She rests her head on top of his.

"I miss him," Peter mumbles. "He was such an asshole when he left us, but I still miss him."

"Of course you miss him," Lara Jean replies. "He's your dad. That much isn't going to change. But hey. At least he's starting to put in effort for you and Owen."

"See, that's the thing. He always does this!" Peter sits up, causing Lara Jean to do the same. "He says he's going to be in our lives more and he sees us once and then leaves us hanging. I don't trust him."

"Maybe he feels guilty," she offers. She rubs his back and kisses his jaw. "Maybe he sees what an amazing young man you've become. And he's guilty that he wasn't part of that."

"You think I'm amazing?" Peter smiles. "Oh, you flatter me, Covey."

"More than amazing," Lara Jean nods. "And I think your dad sees that. It's just a shame—"

"I don't want to talk about my dad anymore," Peter says softly, his eyes focused on Lara Jean's blush pink lips.

"Okay…" Lara Jean releases a smile. "So then let's stop talking."

Lara Jean leans to press her lips against Peter's. The kiss intensifies, with Peter squeezing her waist with one hand, and cupping her face with the other. Peter enjoys kissing his girlfriend, he really does, but right now, it doesn't feel right. His doubts about his father weigh heavy on his mind. He pulls away.

"What's wrong?" Lara Jean asks with somber eyes.

"I'm still upset." Peter breathes.

"That's fair," she says. "You have every right to be. Do you still want to talk about it?"

Peter shakes his head. "Can we just… lie together?"

Lara Jean nods.

The couple lie down on the bed. Peter rests his head on Lara Jean's chest. She kisses the top of his head. They lay like that for a while, Lara Jean's presence giving Peter the comfort he needs. Eventually, they trade places, Lara Jean nuzzling into Peter's neck.

"Covey?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for being my safe place."

iii.

Lara Jean hears commotion outside her window. She gazes outside into the night. She sees nothing unusual. The neighborhood is still, lit dimly with a row of streetlights. Most people have gone to bed. She should be heading to bed too.

"Hey, Covey!" Peter's head suddenly pops up, startling Lara Jean. He tries to pull up the window, but it's locked. She laughs at Peter's struggle before unlocking the window to let him in.

"Why was your window locked?" Peter asks, leaning against the window. "It's never locked."

"I'm trying to teach Chris a lesson," Lara Jean says. "She can't keep sneaking into my room when she's drunk to sober up before she goes home. I can't have her throwing up in here anymore."

Peter chuckles. "Well, she'll just go to Trevor's instead."

"Huh. You're right…" Lara Jean's voice trails off. She crosses her arms over her chest. She raises a brow. "You know we have a front door, right?"

"Yeah," Peter smirks, closing the space between him and his girlfriend. He gives her a peck on the lips. "But what fun would that be?"

"You smell like alcohol," Lara Jean say, scrunching her face. She wraps her arms around his torso and looks up at him. "You didn't drive here, did you?"

"Of course not," Peter says, shaking his head. "I took an Uber with Trevor and Chris."

"Oh, that's why she didn't try to smash my window," Lara Jean muses. "She's with Trevor."

"Uh huh."

"Why didn't you go straight home?" she asks. "You're drunk."

"I know," Peter says. He places a sloppy kiss on her forehead. "But I missed you."

"You're so gross," Lara Jean laughs, wiping her forehead. "And super drunk."

"Am not," Peter retorts.

"Yeah?" Lara Jean lets go of Peter to let him stand on his own. He sways slowly from side to side. Before he can lose his balance, Lara Jean holds him. "You're definitely drunk."

"I know how to handle my alcohol," Peter says. He pushes Lara Jean carefully out of the way and falls onto the bed.

Lara Jean crawls on top of him until she positions herself beside him. She pulls his arm around her. "So how was Gabe's party?"

"Boring, mostly," Peter admits. "It was no fun without you. All I did was drink."

"Sorry," Lara Jean kisses his collarbone. "I had to finish my English project."

Peter groans.

"Hey, school's important."

"No, it's not that," Peter groans again. He rubs his temples. "My head hurts, and I feel like shit."

"That's because you drank so much," Lara Jean says. She ruffles her hand through his mess of curls.

"Coveeeey," Peter continues to groan.

"Am I going to be hearing this all night?" Lara Jean asks.

"Maybeeee."

"Okay." Lara Jean sits up. "You need to eat something. And drink some water."

"No, babe, don't leave me!" Peter begins to slur. He reaches for Lara Jean's arms as she tries to get up. She swats him away.

"Hush." She turns Peter onto his side. "Stay put. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Promise?" He closes his eyes, pulling up the covers over him.

"I promise, love," Lara Jean replies, kissing his cheek.

Lara Jean heads downstairs, careful not to wake the rest of the house. She goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water and grabs a few slices of bread and puts it on a small plate.

"I'm back," she announces when she's back in her room. She sees Peter in the same position as she left him, his eyes still closed and his breathing steady. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," Peter says hoarsely. He grabs a pillow and covers his head with it. He whines, "My head won't stop fucking hurting. Make it stop, Covey."

"Oh, baby," Lara Jean coos. She puts the plate of bread and glass of water down on the nightstand. She helps Peter up. His eyes are still closed, so she shoves a piece of bread into his mouth. He coughs, opening his eyes. "Swallow it, Peter. It's going to soak up the alcohol."

"Fucking whole wheat?" Peter talks with his mouth full. He scrunches his face. "Gross."

"That's no way to talk to your girlfriend," Lara Jean says. "Especially when she's helping you while you're drunk."

"You're right," Peter drawls. "You're so nice to me."

Lara Jean sits beside him. She grabs the water and gives it to Peter. He chugs it and hands the glass back to her.

"You're so pretty, Lara Jean," Peter says, patting her hair. He grabs a chunk and sniffs it.

Lara Jean laughs, "You're pretty too."

"You think so?"

"Yes," Lara Jean replies. She holds his hand and raises it, pressing it to her lips. "You're the prettiest boy I've ever seen."

"Aw," Peter gushes. He wraps his arms around her and gives her a squeeze. "I'm so happy you're my girlfriend. Have I ever told you that? You're like, the best. I'm so fucking lucky to have you."

"Oh hush." She tries to push him back down on the bed. "You need to lay down."

"Fine," Peter pouts. He lays down on his side. Lara Jean rubs his arm soothingly.

"Now sleep."

"You're not going to sleep here with me?" Peter pouts.

Lara Jean shakes her head.

"Why not?"

"You're not going to be out of here before dawn, I know that," she explains. "I'm going to sleep in Margot's room so Daddy doesn't get mad when he wakes up in the morning."

"Boo, you suck." Peter sticks his tongue out. Lara Jean can't help but smile at him.

"You need to go to sleep, Peter," she says. "So you won't think about how much your head hurts."

"Ow!" Peter groans, suddenly remembering the pounding in his head. He turns on his back and runs his hands through his hair. "I can't sleep, not when my head hurts so fucking bad. Please make it stop!"

"Close your eyes," Lara Jean instructs. "I'll tell you a bedtime story."

iv.

"You're not answering any of my texts," Peter says when he crawls through Lara Jean's window. He closes it before turning to her. "Are you still mad at me?"

Lara Jean sits down on her bed with her arms crossed. She looks at her feet and doesn't respond.

"Well, you let me in. So that's something." Peter sighs. He pulls the chair from Lara Jean's desk and places it in front of her. He sits down and asks, "Can we talk?"

Lara Jean shakes her head.

"Do you want me to leave?" Peter asks with sad eyes.

Again, she shakes her head.

"What do you want me to do, Lara Jean?" Peter says. "I know I messed up. And I'm sorry. Let me explain. Please."

"Just tell me you weren't with Gen before you came over here," Lara Jean says meekly. She's still staring at her feet. She pulls her sleeves over her hands. She holds her breath.

"I… can't do that."

"I fucking knew it," she mumbles. She looks at him. "So then what are you apologizing for? If you're just going to continue to do it, what's the point?"

Peter takes a deep breath. "Look. I know you're mad at me for spending time with Gen. Especially after I told you that we don't keep in touch anymore."

Lara Jean rolls her eyes.

"Just listen—"

"I don't want to."

"Lara Jean," Peter says sternly.

"Fine," she says. "Keep talking then."

"I'm sorry I lied to you. Gen didn't want anybody to know that—"

"Know what?" Lara Jean gulps, trying to fight back tears. "That you two are seeing each other behind my back?"

"You need to stop interrupting me."

"You can't tell me what to do," Lara Jean huffs.

Ignoring her comment, Peter continues, "We don't have feelings for each other anymore, I swear. She only reached out to me because she knew I'd understand."

"Understand what?"

"I can't tell you."

"Then what's the point of you telling me all this?"

"I just want to tell you the truth," Peter says.

"But you aren't." Lara Jean shakes her head. "If you want to tell me the truth, you would tell me what's wrong with Gen. You would tell me why you really needed to be there for her, and why she couldn't reach out to someone else."

"I'm sorry." Peter's shoulders drop. He takes her hands into his. His voice softens, "I hate it when we fight."

"Me too," Lara Jean sighs. She stares at their hands. They sit in silence for a bit, before she looks up at Peter with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he repeats. "Why are you sorry?"

"For not trusting you," she says. "For being insecure."

"Well, to be fair, I should've told you the whole truth," Peter says. He kisses her hand. "So I get why you didn't trust me. But I trust you. And I know you wouldn't tell anybody Gen's problems."

"We both don't want to fight," Lara Jean says. "So let's not. Just tell me the truth. Tell me why you've been spending time with Gen."

"It's her parents." He hesitates. He's breaking his promise to Gen, but he knows that Lara Jean is more important. He knows she'll keep her mouth shut about Gen's situation. "They're… going through a divorce."

"Oh. That's why you're the only one who understands." Lara Jean nods, mentally cursing at herself for ever doubting Peter's loyalty.

"Yeah. She didn't have anyone else to turn to," Peter continues. "I'm the only person she knows who's been through it. I couldn't say no to her. She needed me."

"I get it," Lara Jean assures him. "You're such a good guy, Peter Kavinsky."

Peter nods and purses his lips.

"Sorry for doubting you."

"I'll always have a place for her in my heart, you know," he explains. "But I promise you, me and Gen are over. I'm with you, and we've been together for over a year now. Don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask. Why are you still so insecure about her?"

"You two were together since the seventh grade," she reminds him. "It's so rare that people our age have been together for that long. And she's… she's so pretty! I guess… I guess I just feel like I could never live up to your expectations following your relationship with her."

"Lara Jean Song-Covey."

"Oh shit, you used my full name." Lara Jean frowns. She asks sincerely, "Am I in trouble?"

Peter chuckles and shakes his head.

She furrows her brows, "Then what?"

"You need to stop comparing yourself to her," Peter says. He gets up from the chair to sit beside her on the bed. "You are so beautiful, Lara Jean. And just because I've been in a relationship before and you haven't, it doesn't mean that I want things to be exactly the same. There's a reason it didn't work out. And there's a reason why we're together now."

Lara Jean nods before resting her head on Peter's shoulder. She reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze. "You always know what to say."

v.

The lights are off at the Kavinsky home, except for the one in Peter's bedroom. Standing outside and looking up at her boyfriend's window, Lara Jean takes a deep breath. Lara Jean was by no means athletic. According to Peter, she has the upper body strength of a mouse. But that's not going to stop her from seeing him.

Lara Jean hasn't seen Peter this past week. Peter was suspended from school because of a prank gone wrong he orchestrated with the lacrosse team. And as a result, his mom grounded him too. He's not allowed to leave the house for a week, until his suspension is over. So Lara Jean decided to pay her boyfriend an unexpected visit. She waited until her dad and sister were asleep before stealthily leaving the house to drive to her boyfriend's.

Lara Jean climbs the trellis carefully until she reaches the window. She peeks inside and sees Peter playing Grand Theft Auto on his Xbox. She taps the window to get his attention. He turns his head and meets her eyes, flashing his signature smile. He pauses his game to let his girlfriend in.

She crawls through the window, her foot getting stuck. She falls face first onto the floor with a thud. Peter stands there, chuckling to himself before helping Lara Jean up.

"Thanks for the help," Lara Jean huffs sarcastically.

"You need to be quieter," Peter says. "We don't want my mom knowing you're here."

"I don't know how you do this all the time," Lara Jean replies. She smooths out her skirt and fixes her headband.

Ignoring her comment, Peter pulls her in and stares at her lovingly. "Covey. I missed you."

"I missed you too," Lara Jean smiles.

"But you have Chris, Lucas and Trevor at school," Peter says.

"I can only hang out with them for so long before I start to go crazy," she replies.

"Well, I've been mostly alone."

Lara Jean playfully hits him in the chest. "This is what you get for getting suspended."

"Gotta keep up the bad boy act," Peter shrugs. He places a kiss on her head.

"Yeah, yeah." Lara Jean rolls her eyes. On her toes, she leans up to give Peter an open-mouthed kiss, which he gladly returns. He kisses her back harder, his hands cupping her face. She pulls away to say, "I can be bad too."

Lara Jean presses her lips against his, her hands on either side of his neck. She feels his pulse under her fingers. Peter's hands rest on her waist, pulling her as close to his body as possible. The kiss deepens, which gives Lara Jean confidence e. She pushes Peter onto his bed and straddles him, her knees digging into the mattress by his hips. She hovers over him, her long dark hair tickling his ear, her eyes full of lust. She bites her lips before connecting them with his again. Peter's hands are at the hem of her shirt. He slowly moves them up, revealing her midriff. Lara Jean continues to kiss him, moving from his mouth to his neck. Peter quietly gasps. She sucks softly on his skin until she's sure she's left a mark.

Out of breath, Peter muses, "Huh. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder." His thumb slowly draws circles on her exposed skin.

"Shut up, Kavinsky," Lara Jean says. She looks at his lips. "Less talking, more kissing."

"I'm not going to argue with that," Peter replies. Peter likes this side of her. It's raw and feisty, a side only he knows. Everyone else at school knows Lara Jean Song-Covey as the innocent, soft-spoken girl. But not Peter. He knows her as his hot girlfriend who knows how to make him feel good—in more ways than one.

"I missed you," Lara Jean says in between kisses, "so much."

Peter sits up, wrapping her legs around his waist. He crashes his lips on hers, his hands keeping her head in place. She pulls on the hem of his muscle tee. He smiles into her mouth.

He flips them over without detaching their lips. Lara Jean's hands now grasping at his chest. Peter squeezes her hip, and she pulls him closer. He trails kisses down to her neck, to her collarbone, to her chest. She gasps and grabs his face to tug him back to her lips.

Panting heavily, Lara Jean pulls away and stares at Peter, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple. She presses her forehead against his. He touches his lips to her nose. She rolls off of him, landing on her back. Peter stares at her as she tries to control her breathing.

"I should get suspended more often," he smirks.