Holy Demented Fireflys!

I did it! Of course this one has not been fully beta'd so be expecting grammar issues and the like. But I wanted to get it posted for Claw! I hope you all enjoy this little bit of trauma as it has caused me nothing but heart ache from day one lol.

Alternate ending to be posted later this week. Love you all and thank you so much for your support.

~Dash

PS: Song choice-War of Hearts-Ruelle

That moment in the library was just the start. Tom found not only did he not want to be separated from Hermione for any reason but he realized when he stopped pushing her away due to his own selfish wants…he enjoyed her company immensely. She was unbelievably brilliant but that wasn't all. Her insight to problems and ideas, theories they discussed, it differed from the way he viewed the world and gave him an interesting second perspective.

They debated and discussed every single thing that came to mind and he found that even though they were rarely of the same mind starting out, once they tore the topic to little pieces together, they found some compromise that they could both agree on as a much more informed fact. He had never met anyone like her and as the weeks poured into months, he had no issue ignoring everyone else in favor of her.

They both caught grief from their respective houses, her more than him as he put his housemates in their place very quickly when it started. Their friendship also seemed to have the undesired effect of garnering him more attention of the female persuasion. The witches in his house and even some in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff would try their best to talk to him whenever Hermione was not around.

Though most boys his age would have loved the attention, he found their topics of conversation and their come hither eyes to be insipid and uninspired. Why would he give his time to someone with half a brain and a beautiful face? They had nothing to truly offer him in his day to day life. He understood that for the pureblood's that was exactly what they wanted. They wanted a beautiful wife who would warm their beds and have their baser urges firing full steam ahead and satisfied.

Maybe it was because he was raised by a mother who until her recent demise had been left alone and destitute due to her baser instincts and needs. Maybe it was recently meeting his father and grandfather, even though they did not realize he was related to them, and seeing how happy they were with their wives…wives that could converse about anything from the weather to politics to the war.

Whatever mix of those circumstances that made him the way he was, Tom could not see giving up his spare time to spend with an empty-headed porcelain doll when he could have a walking encyclopedia with a back bone and opinions to talk to instead. His companions thought he was utterly off his rocker for wanting to spend time with a Gryffindor know-it-all over someone like Drucila Black and he didn't bother trying to explain it. They would never understand and he didn't have the time or care to explain it. Some idiocy you couldn't fix and they were that 'some'.

The more time he spent with his little lion the more that warm feeling cocooned him inside. He began to feel like an addict, running to her as soon as he was able so she would smile or huff at him, argue some thought he threw out just to get her riled, and have that warmth spread once more. Not understanding it became an issue as fourth year rolled around and gossip began about this upcoming Yule ball.

He knew every witch and wizard old enough to attend was talking about it like it was the next world series Quidditch match. The females were unbearable in their preparation and their longing glances at any wizard that caught their fancy. He was actually quite disgusted by all the fanfare and fair weather interest until Avery made a comment to him about Hermione.

It seemed they were all under the impression he was going to ask her to be his date. He and Hermione were not like that though. She was just a friend and though he enjoyed and tended to selfishly hog all of her time, they were still only…friends…right?

Then he had taken Avery's caution that another wizard would ask her to go then if he didn't mind as she was starting to blossom into a very pretty little witch. The white hot rage he had felt at the very idea surprised him so much he had actually asked Avery what it meant…without his usual stealth. Surprised to be chosen at that moment as a confidant, Avery had cautiously said that if the idea pissed him off that badly…there may be more to them than just…friendship.

He had spent weeks after paying attention more specifically to his interaction with Hermione and her responses to him. He watched other couples together and their mannerisms, looks, the sighs and smiles. And he realized something he had yet to put together. They may not have labeled it. Hell they didn't even acknowledge it or each other as such…but he and Hermione were a…couple.

Determined that no other wizard would take what was his, even if unknowingly, to a ball where she would dress up and they would hold her Tom had gone into Hogsmeade and purchased a rare and beautiful orchid that reminded him of his little lion. Making sure to look a little more careless that day as she seemed to like the less put together him Tom had asked her to the dance with the flowers and a lazy smile.

Her reddened cheeks and shy grin had caused a new sensation around his heart identical to the one he had the first time she smiled at him. On impulse he kissed her knuckles as he had seen Abraxas do when she said she would go with him and he reveled in the blush spreading down her neck. He had no idea he could unsettle her so…it was…exhilarating.

He had no idea what to expect but as he picked her up in front of the portrait at Gryffindor tower, it was not the stunning witch in periwinkle with her wild curls tamed to a style more seen on the pureblood witches. She was for a moment the picture of the perfect date…beautiful, soft, lovely covering a mind that could out think the most brilliant of scholars. He felt his pants grow tight and had to force that away as he took her arm in his.

Eating and dancing, laughing and talking had led them away from the party and the crowd and up to the astronomy tower for some fresh air and quiet. Looking at her as she leaned on the railing, the winter air blowing a few escaped wisps of her hair from her face, her cheeks pinking in the cold, Tom had another roll of that primal urge and this time gave in to it.

Turning her to face him he leaned in and carefully placed his lips against hers. Her lips parted on a sigh and he sought that elusive and tempting tongue with his own. Nipping at her bottom lip and finally knowing how sweet it tasted helped him to understand why she was always biting on it. Of course as he did she melted against his body, every signal he had ever heard about laid open for him as a go and he lost his hold on the animal inside.

One hand sliding down to grip her hip, he took the back of her neck in his other hand and tilted her head slightly. With the angle right he dove in, kissing her the way he had wanted to for the past few months. He took every whimper and gasp, every drop of her sweet lips and tongue inside his body and stashed it away for later savoring. One especially needy whimper sent his needs into overdrive and with little thought or effort he lifted her up onto the railing and situated himself between her legs. Her warm center was like a furnace against his hardened cock and his groan came out as almost a growl.

He couldn't get enough of her taste, apples dipped in sugar and a hint of honey, or maybe that is just what he associated her flavor with. He continued to dip in deep, licking every inch of her mouth as he dueled with her tongue for dominance. Until this moment he had never truly understood it…but he did now. She was his!

His hips moved in the age old dance even with their clothing on, is lack of experience not in any way evident if her moans were anything to go by. Like any good scholar, he took his ques from her until she was a panting, gasping mess in his arms. Her legs tightened around his hips a moment before she spilled over the edge into pleasured oblivion and he took her mouth again to keep anyone from hearing noises that belonged only to him as he found his own release.

He really didn't remember what came after. He knew he had straightened them up and had walked her like a gentleman back to her dorm but he floated on a cloud of euphoria and wasn't really even back to himself until the next day. Of course nothing went back to the exact spot after that night.

He couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her from that point on and found himself distracted more often than not when she would sigh or bite her lip or wet them as she talked. He would steal her lips anytime he was able and he rejoiced each time she melted into him without protest. Nothing had ever been just his…until her and he couldn't help but greedily take every single moment she allowed.

The winter break came and though he was supposed to stay at the orphanage, he charmed Mrs. Cole with a bit of magic and made his way to the address Hermione had given him. Unlike him she lived in a nice neighborhood and for a moment he considered turning around and going back. That was until he saw her through the window, her hair tied up in a ponytail, curls wildly streaming down her back, a book in one hand and a smile on her face as she wandered through her home.

They spent that summer talking and kissing, spending every literal waking moment together as she showed him her home, her life, and finally was able to get him to talk some about his. He had never shared his past with anyone but he found himself laying it all at her feet one night. Instead of turning from him, she had held him to her and they had slept wrapped in each other's arms.

Fifth year came and went just the same and that summer found him not only back at her house but alone with her once again. They had been reading their own novels in her back garden and the sun gently caressing her skin through the hanging branches of the willow tree had tempted him. He wanted to touch her just as softly for once.

He had intended only to kiss her for a moment or two but her surrender under his gentle touches had been not only her undoing but his. He had managed to reign in the darkness, the animal for a while and took her innocence with patience and care. Once he knew she was going to be okay, he had let go once more, knowing she never shied away from any part of him.

The louder the cries the more he took her until his breath sawed in and out of his lungs like razor blades, sharp and quick. Every sting of her nails into his skin had only snapped his hips forward to bury deep inside her warm body. Her body tightened around him as her back arched and he lost the battle with his own release. Setting his teeth into her skin, a mark he hoped lasted for days, Tom let his baser urges rule him completely as he emptied his seed into her in long ropes.

Their magic rushed forward to collide between them, sending shock waves of magical pleasure along their skin and bones. He had read about it once that only the most powerful could touch another's magic and it only solidified what he already knew about them.

As he lay there, his heart pounding against his rib cage he thought nothing could ever ruin this feeling. He should have known better. The universe hated him and would never see him content…his mother had warned him. Just like his father turning on him the past winter break and telling him that he would never be his son, it seemed he would not be allowed to keep this witch either.

"I love you."

Those three fucking words…manipulation wrapped in a pretty bow of batted eyes and flowered words. His stomach turned as he tensed and he knew that what he thought was a differently made girl was just the same trap wrapped in a different disguise. Not wanting to give away that he was on to her and having a possible fight, Tom pulled her tight against him and wiped the sneer off of his face as he kissed her forehead. He just had to get out of her clutches safely and with his mind intact and he could rectify this situation after.

He had fled two days later and at the start of the next school year he found a way to be very busy. Though neither of them needed his help, Tom told Hermione that he wanted to make sure Avery and Mulciber passed their advanced classes. Avery seemed reluctant to help and had tried to get Tom to talk about what was going on. After a few well-placed spells, the questions had stopped and both of his dorm mates had gone along with his ploy.

As the months passed and they spent less time together, Tom's anger simmered to a low boil and that sharp pain in his chest became more persistent. There were days he had to remind himself that he was staying away as something would come up and his first thought was to tell or talk to Hermione about it.

Near the end of the year he was in a constant state of numbed pain and he couldn't figure out why. He didn't do love or believe in love so every reason Avery laid at his feet was thrown away as fairy tale bullshite. He was happy to receive the invitation to come stay at the Malfoy estate over the summer break. He was hoping being surrounded by the other purebloods and their father's businessmen would help shake him from this funk he was in.

Brax had told him the best way to forget one female was to get between the smooth thighs of another. That was how Drucila ended up back in his life. She was set to marry an older wizard in France when she graduated and didn't want that to be the only wizard she had enjoyed. So began their agreement. He would escort her around so no one found out about her engagement until they graduated…she didn't want the pity. In return he could take his pleasure from her anytime he wanted to and she wouldn't protest.

The last year of school he laughed more and studied less. He took meetings with all the influential people Brax brought his way and he watched Avery drift away from him as he lost himself in the pureblood world. When no one was looking he covertly sought out Hermione with his eyes only to freeze in puzzlement once more as she came into view. Her grades did not suffer but only continued to rise. He heard about each and every apprenticeship she was offered and that she was taking time to really consider before choosing. She stayed to herself but that was not unusual at all. The one thing he could not seem to let go was her eyes.

They had once held so much expression and fire. Her eyes told him everything she was feeling or thinking and he had loved being able to see her wheels turning as she spoke or they debated. Now her eyes were stone cold and lifeless. There was no care or warmth. She didn't help others with tasks like she used to in class and she rarely answered questions.

She was like a shell of former self. If he were honest with himself…she reminded him of his mother at the end. Though he knew that couldn't be true because she had so much more to offer the world and the world had so much more to offer her.

Near the end of the year they bumped into each other literally and as he took in her perfect appearance and her lifeless eyes he felt that same sharp pain in his chest that he had come to associate with her as much as he used to the warmth. He felt his hand move of its own accord and his anger spiked at his need to still touch her after all this time and effort to stay away.

Spinning around to leave he was stopped in his tracks by her softly spoken apology. He was more than a little confused as he turned his head back to look at her.

"For not being enough or for being too much to handle…I don't know…whatever drove you away…I'm sorry."

That tongue of hers, the temptress of her warm mouth, came out to wet her lips and the jerk of need that slammed into him shamed all experiences he had up to this point with Drucila. What they had was stale compared to this primal force of nature and he slammed his control in to place to keep from picking her up and slamming her into the wall to take her the way his body was demanding he take his witch.

"You look happy with her and I hope she continues to make you happy in the future."

Her words only sank past his raging desire and into his brain once she was out of sight, her rushing footsteps the only noise in the hallway. What did she mean by not enough? Until she had tried to trap him with those….those words…she had been everything to him! His body aching its demands and his mind trying to break apart under her words, Tom left to find Dru. If he was going to use her then he was going to take full advantage of the outlet he was given.

Since that day he did his best not to look her way. Something inside him seemed to die a little more any time she caught his eye. Which is how he ended up out here, around this stupid fire, in the middle of the night. Everyone wanted to do one last get together before they left Hogwarts for their last winter break.

Brax said something totally inane but he laughed just like everyone else, his mind already fighting to break away from the lack of intellect he was surrounded by. Dru swatted at his arm in retaliation for laughing and he gave her his customary smile. Her grin matched his as she winked at him and he leaned over to brush a kiss along her cheek.

A shrill scream cut through the night air and he whipped his head around. His eyes landed on a seventh year Hufflepuff whose eyes were rounded in horror as she gripped her boyfriend tightly with one hand and pointed with the other.

Everything from that moment seemed to move in slow motion. He heard Drucila cry out as Avery cussed with a hissed yell. His eyes followed the girls arm up until they landed on what had everyone's attention.

For a moment his brain would not register what he was seeing except for a beautiful periwinkle dress fluttering in the freezing wind. Beautiful curls looked like they were falling up as the rush of the air whipped them around the angel that was flying. Then reality caught up to him and in that moment his mouth screamed what his brain was still trying to process.

"HERMIONE!"

Without conscious thought he gathered his magic and flung it with as much force and power as he could to wrap around her. But like the potion's accident what felt like ages ago…he was a second too late. Though he felt it grab hold of his witch, it wasn't fast enough to slow her decent to a safe speed.

He was moving even before she slammed into the ground, the multiple cracks echoing off the tower wall as his classmates panicked and screamed just as they had that day. Only this time there was no anguished screaming to tell him she was alive…would be okay. Dropping to his knees, Tom was unaware of anything else but the witch, his witch, crumpled on the hard stone like a priceless piece of art.

Careful not to touch her roughly, Tom brushed her hair from her face as he took in her painted face, lips glistening like they did that night at the Yule ball, eyes shadowed by that sparkling blue. That sharp pain in his chest grip and clawed at him and in that moment he realized Avery had been right all along and the devastation only seemed to enhance and highlight the blood that was seeping from under her and wetting the knees of his trousers.

"Fuck Hermione! Why?"

Her mouth opened as if to answer but only a cough sputtered out bringing drops of blood with it. The gurgle she made sounded entirely too close to the last noise his own father had made not long ago and with an anguished moan he pulled her into his arms to cradle her against his chest.

Her blood seeped along his shirt, making rivers of her heart's needs along his skin.

"Get the Mediwitch…someone…hurry!"

His eyes met Avery's for a moment and the resignation there only fueled his rage.

"Tom…mate…"

"GET HELP!"

Avery's feet slid back as his anger whipped out in waves of magic, shoving everyone else away from him and his little lion. As Avery raced off with a few others he brought his eyes back to hers and her face blurred in his vision. Confused for a moment he realized his eyes were filling with tears, something that had not happened when his own mother had ended her life or when he had ended his father's. Now…they came…

"No, No, No, No….NO! Gods Dammit Hermione…Why would you do this?"

He felt her magic surge inside her and swirl around him and the familiarity of it shattered the last of his hidden heart into a million shards of glass, all flinging in different directions to rend his insides.

"You…"

His eyes snapped back to hers as his liquid pain ran down his cheeks and dropped into her matted hair.

"It was always you."

Though her words were slurred and wet, he was so tuned to her that he had no issue hearing every single word.

"You asked…why…then too. I didn't have an answer I could give you then. I do now. It was you…that's why I saved you. You were…are special and brilliant and worthy of everything you could ever want Tom Riddle. The world would have lost so much if it had lost you and a part of me always knew that…even then."

The words tapered off into a horrible cough that caused her to cry out in agony. The scream was so reminiscent to that day in potions that he felt like he was watching what would have happened if she had not used her magic to save them.

"I only ever wanted you to be happy and if happy is her than I am happy for you…I just can't be here to see it anymore. Goodbye Ridd…"

Her last words…that fucking name he hated…whispered off her lips as her eyes stopped focusing on him and rolled up towards the sky. One last breath fell from her lips before she went still in his arms.

"It's Tom, Hermione, not Riddle….Tom! Say it…SAY IT!"

Shaking her had no affect and with a cry born of an anguish he did not know was possible, Tom gathered her against him tightly, his tears falling down his face like the angry rapids of a river as he rocked and keened in his pain.

"Please Hermione…please don't leave me. I'm sorry…I'm so fucking sorry…please come back and I swear I will spent the rest of our lives earning your forgiveness. Please…you were always enough…you were better than I ever was…"

Throwing his head back he roared his loss to the stars until his throat was raw and the sound faded into a hoarse imitation of his voice.

"Gods please…I'll give anything…please don't do this to me…I'm begging you…please…"

He felt a burst of cold magic surround him and he knew he was never going to be warm again. A voice that sounded like ice over stone reached his ears and had him looking back up from Hermione's hair.

"Be careful what you wish for Tom Marvolo Riddle. You never know who could be listening. Say like…myself."

A strange being stood before him. Their shape never truly fixed as the shadows moved and turned, twisted and thinned until his head was swimming with confusion. He closed his eyes on a wave of dizziness.

"I can make this pain go away…I can make it right so that it is like this never happened. But it will cost you."

Not opening his eyes and letting his face sink into her hair again he spoke.

"I don't care what the cost is. If Hermione lives…I will pay anything."

"Do you give me your word on your magic on that?"

His mind slowing to a halt as his will to keep going slowly faded, he looked up once more only to take in the face of his wish maker. Where there should have been eyes there was only blackness. Skin the color of milk was warped by black lines of power that seemed to pulse just under his skin. Sharp teeth gleamed as he smiled a sinister smile and held out one claw tipped hand.

"Yes…I give you my word."

Placing his hand in the creatures he winced as claws sunk into his wrists and teeth sank into his palm. He felt magic swirl in and through him before the pain in his chest began to bleed away to blankness. He shook his head as the ground felt like it tilted and then the stars went dark.

The baby opened his eyes and looked around. The room was dark and quiet and as he lay there, silent as always, no tears or cries at his solitude, he shifted and moved until he was covered more by the soft blanket. He was cold…he was always cold…not that he knew yet what cold was or even what a blanket was. He only knew the dark, the silence, the empty.