An Ace in the Hole

Caroline Prince

Author's Notes: *waves* I am so nervous posting this, because this is the first time I've written in a long time. The fan fiction was borne from my own need to see what the night Harvey told Donna he had a final ace in the hole would have been like, and how they came to decide what they did. I'd originally set this out as a prompt that other more talented writers could pick up, if they chose to. But then, when you have friends like Nathalie, Blue and Alex in your corner telling you to get back into writing, you listen. ;)

But the biggest thanks here goes to Nathalie for being a literal cheerleader through the whole process. If it wasn't for her constant encouragement, this fic wouldn't have seen the light of day. This one's for you, girl. Love you.

"I have an ace in the hole, but I don't wanna play it unless you're good with it, too."

Ever since she and Harvey got together, Donna has found herself reveling in the mundane. Things that were a natural part of her everyday routine have taken on a whole new level of normal with him; and Donna reckons she should be surprised, and maybe even a little scared, at the ease at which their lives have slotted together. But, then Harvey's words from that night in Mike's apartment echo in her mind, and she just knows that this is where they were always headed, once they'd both shed thirteen years worth of what-ifs.

The simple act of riding home together with him after a day filled with the constant push and pull of clients demanding their attention - and freaking Faye breathing down their necks - has quickly become one of her favorite things. Their rides are usually filled with a comfortable silence, punctuated by small talk with Ray and the soft sounds of jazz album from Harvey's playlist, interspersed with the occasional Broadway tune that she has sneaked into his playlist. The atmosphere between them is often heavy with anticipation and the sexual tension simmers between them, tempered only by Ray's presence.

Tonight's ride home feels the same, and yet Donna knows it really isn't. The silence is deafening, the atmosphere is heavy with grief, and there's nothing sexual about the tension that is emanating from him. That's not the only thing that's different about tonight, however.

Tonight, Donna finds that she can't truly get a read on what's going on with him. But still, she knows him well enough that whatever it is, one: she'll be privy to it soon enough, and two: it's big.

But still, for the moment, unknown.

And Donna's never dealt well with the unknown: her innate Donna-ness has always hinged on the known. So it doesn't surprise her that these past few days have had her feeling largely unsettled. They've been filled with the unpredictable; and while she has complete faith in Harvey's and Mike's abilities to pull off their one last con, Faye's dogged tenacity still remains a variable that could bury them all for good.

And tonight, he'd told her he had a final ace to play - one that could set them all free - but that he needed her to be OK with. But he hadn't told her any more than that: and while she understands why he couldn't say more, it's led them to a car ride fraught with even more unknowns.

But, there's one thing that's not unknown or variable: her faith in the man sitting next to her. She continues to watch his profile as he gazes out of the window, seemingly taking in every detail of the city as it passes them, almost as if he's saying good…

She freezes at that last thought, an inkling beginning to form in her mind, and she feels her heart rate pick up as the inkling continues to grow into a fully-formed thought.

"Harvey…" her voice cracks into the silence of the car.

He must hear the panic in her voice, because he immediately turns towards her, reaching for her with an apology in his eyes. She burrows her face into his neck, allowing his warmth and his scent to envelop her. The panic still bubbles under her skin, but she forces it down, the reality of this moment with him much more appealing to her strained nerves.

After a beat of silence, he lets out a slow breath, "I'm sorry, Donna. There's just a lot on my mind."

His words are so eerily familiar to what he said after she found him reading his mother's last words to him - another freaking unknown, she thinks ruefully - and she gazes up at him reproachfully from under her lashes.

He reads her reproach and chuckles lowly, a hint of mirth filling his eyes, and pushes a stray hair behind her ear.

"I know."

She raises her head, "I know you know. The question is when are you going to let me know?"

"Know what?", he queries, eyes widening with innocence.

She glares back. He's enjoying this - the bastard. But she also thinks he's deflecting, and she finds herself unequal to the light banter that she thinks he's going for.

"Harvey." I thought we were past this, goes unsaid.

"Donna. I will tell you, I promise. I'm not trying to get out of it. I am just trying to get it all straight in my own head, first."

She isn't sure, at the moment, what he's referring to: his mother or his plan. But she decides she'll take whatever he gives her tonight. Either. Or both.

When they reach home, Donna heads straight for his decanter, determined to get them talking. But, much to her consternation, Harvey heads into their bedroom with the intent to change and Donna follows him in a huff.

"Harvey."

"Donna", there's reproach in his tone, now. "I promised."

She relents, and they go through the motions of shedding their work armor. And it's only when she's slipping into his old Harvard shirt, that the reason for his need to change hits her. His plan has nothing to do with work. This is about them.

They've barely settled with a bottle of scotch between them, when Donna finally cracks.

"You're planning to leave, aren't you?"

His head shoots up, surprise evident on his face, shoulders going taut. She meets his gaze, her head tilting at his surprise.

Please, I'm Donna.

She doesn't say it though, the moment feeling far too loaded for it.

He fortifies himself with a sip from his tumbler, before nodding.

"Yes."

"When?"

"Last night." He sighs. "This situation with Faye was never about the firm, Donna. It was always about me. And, like I told you, she's never gonna stop coming after us until she has what she really wants."

"Your resignation."

"My license." He corrects. "But, no. I'm not going to let her take that from me, not after Robert Zane gave it all up so I could live to fight another day."

She doesn't even miss a beat, when she says, "Well, then, I'm coming with you."

And, if it weren't such a serious moment, she'd be tempted to laugh at his face right now that resembles a guppy that's been pulled out of water.

She continues to hold his gaze, however, letting him see all of her.

"Donna, are you sure?"

"Harvey, I once told you I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. What do you think that meant?"

His gaze drops for a second, but she catches the turmoil that's brewing behind it.

"It was a different time, Donna. You worked for me, and I wasn't planning on leaving the firm." He meets her eyes again. "And, after that…", his voice trails off.

She however knows. She did leave him for a short while and while she feels no regret for her actions, she does regret the look it's put in his eyes now.

"Harvey, I came back to you," she reminds him, her voice cracking with pain.

She's surprised, however, when his eyes widen and he's immediately by her side, crushing her to his chest.

"God, no, Donna, that is not what I meant, at all." He rumbles into her hair, before tugging lightly at her hair to get her to look at him. "No. I was going to say that after that, you've grown into so much more than a secretary. I once told Louis that if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be standing. And I meant it then, and I still mean it now."

He presses his lips to her forehead, letting go of her, but still stays close. She waits as he takes another sip of his scotch, before he continues.

"COO was where you were always meant to be, and God, I'd be lying if I said that watching you take charge of your role wasn't the sexiest thing I've ever seen.", he says, his eyes darkening with desire, and she can't help press a grateful kiss to his lips. He grins into the kiss, allowing it to deepen for a short while, his tongue swiping across her upper lip before he pulls away.

"Thank you, Harvey. That really does mean a lot to me. But…", she starts, gripping the collar of his robe to stop him from moving too far. She needs him close. Before she can fully articulate her words though, his pained voice breaks through.

"You've worked your entire life to get here. And you deserve to be able to see it all through, maybe even become a partner, if Louis can be persuaded to it. And I know he can be. But, for all of that to happen, Donna, I need to leave. Because, if I don't - if Mike and I can't pull this off, there won't be a firm tomorrow for any of you to get to. We'd be done. I can't stand by anymore and watch the people I love suffer any more for all the shit I've brought on them. I can't."

In the silence that follows, Donna silently considers the gravity of what he's suggesting, of what he's willing to do, of what he's willing to sacrifice so their friends would have their firm back. The night feels similar to when he showed up on her doorstep, desperate and on the verge of turning himself in for Mike.

But unlike that night, her heart doesn't pound painfully in her chest at the thought of losing him. She isn't losing him. Not after twelve and a half years of yearning to be this and not when she can already taste forever with him.

"You know we're gonna be together forever, right?"

She sits up straight, determined for once to get him to listento her.

"Harvey, you didn't let me finish. I told you, I want to be with you. And that means, if you go, I go. I don't care if I have a chance to become managing partner at the firm, Harvey. I can never work in a place - no matter how much I love it - if you weren't there."

Her mind, as if on cue, presents her with an image of walking past his office, now occupied by some nameless senior partner and a window ledge devoid of Harvey's basketballs. The image causes her heart to falter and Donna closes her eyes against it, willing the image to disappear.

Harvey must sense her disconcertment, because he squeezes her hand, and she opens her eyes to find his warm brown gaze searching for her own. She presses his hand to her lips, and continues.

"I know I once told you that I was in my position because I'd earned it."

"You did." he interrupts her, again. "I should never have insinuated otherwise."

"As I was saying," She gives him a pointed look, and he smirks, squeezing her hand again. "I did earn my position, but it is also true that you did put me there. Harvey, you were the one who set the ball rolling. You gave me my more, even when the others weren't willing to do that."

"And then, I tried to take it all away from you because of Paula." His hand leaves hers and he pushes back against the couch, fingers pressing into his eyes and Donna can sense the shame rolling off him in waves. "That was so wrong and even though Stan helped me make sense of what I was really doing there, I still hate myself so much for what I put you through then."

Even though her curiosity is piqued, both about the fact that he'd continued to see Stan after his joint session with Louis and that he'd talked about her, Donna recognizes that this is a conversation for a different day, and she touches his knee to bring his gaze back to her.

"But, you got me back." She reminds him.

"After I nearly lost you."

"You got me back." She says again. "Just like you've always done. Don't you see what I'm trying to tell you? There's never a choice when it comes to you and me. You and I, we're like this." She intertwines her fingers and joins her palms. "Everything we've done, we've done it as a unit, Harvey. I can't be me without you. And you can't be you without me. We don't function well without each other: both here and at work. I don't ever want that to change."

At long last, Donna sees the tension in his face clear and just like that, she's back in his embrace, his arms winding around her waist as he tugs her into his lap. She giggles into his kiss, before letting out a low moan when his teeth scrape against her lower lip.

Before they get too lost in their kiss, however, Donna pulls away and says, "So, Mike finally got through to you, huh?"

His look of disbelief doesn't even faze her, and she grins and rolls her eyes, unable to help herself this time. "Please. I'm Donna. I know you, Harvey. This isn't something you've decided to do overnight."

His brows crinkle, "Actually, it is."

She laughs softly and kisses him again, "No, you just reached where you've been heading all along. Harvey, ever since Mike left, it's become more and more obvious where your priorities lie. You've always cared: but now, you're not afraid to show it. You want to help people, and you want to see them happy even at your own personal cost. And, seeing them happy, makes you happy."

A slow smile is creeping across his face, and she settles herself more comfortably against him.

"And then Mike came back and beat you and Samantha at your own game, and Harvey, you should have seen how proud you looked despite your loss. And, since then, you've talked often about how he's out there, walking the walk and making a difference. You want that."

"I do.", he says finally. "Mike told me he has a senior partnership and a position for you waiting for us, if this all goes to hell tomorrow."

She grins. "Starting over with Mike and Rachel."

He nods, "You're excited to see Rachel again."

"You'll no longer have people coming after you."

His eyes widen, and she realizes that this was an advantage he hadn't even considered. He'd clearly just been focused on the idea of working with Mike again, this time, for the good guys.

"I won't.", he says, his tone underscoring his surprise.

She shakes her head, taking in his handsome face, while letting her fingers trace the moles on his eyebrow. Internally, she debates asking him one final question before they turn in for the night.

"What is it, Donna?", his head tilting, when he sees the surprise in her face. "I know you too, Paulsen. Spill."

"I was just wondering what…"

"What I'd have done if Seattle wasn't an option?"

She nods. She knows he understands that she's asking out of curiosity.

"Like I said, I wasn't going to let Faye take away my license to practice here, Donna. And it was a fight I was prepared to have, if it came down to it. I wasn't going anywhere else without you. And if, Mike's offer wasn't on the table, we could have considered, I don't know, Boston or maybe even, Connecticut, if that's what you wanted. We'd make it work, Donna."

"We would.", her eyes turn shiny, and his arms tighten around her.

She presses her head against his shoulder, her body thrumming with excitement at the prospect of a new start, with Harvey by her side, and the idea that they'd have Mike and Rachel in their lives again, ready to take on Seattle and make it their own like they did here in New York City. But, in the corner of her mind, the knowledge of the weight of their decision on the firm - on Louis - hits her.

She raises her head to look at him and it is clear that the same thought has hit Harvey, as well. A sad smile breaks out on his face.

"He'll be fine, Donna."

She nods, pursing her lips and letting out a sniffle.

His hand reaches up to swipe at the lone tear that's escaped, before cupping her cheek to bring her closer to him.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Harvey."

And this time, when he kisses her, he tastes of hope and possibility. And when his hands slip under her shirt, tugging it upwards and off her body, his touch is light and sure and very unlike the previous night when desperation and sorrow punctuated every brush against her skin.

And hours later, when her legs are still entwined tightly around his naked hips and he's still inside her, he presses a soft kiss to her forehead, saying, "You were right. We were always like this."

His meaning hits her when she sees his gaze slips down to their still connected bodies, and she huffs out a breathy laugh.

"You're an idiot."

Hope you all enjoyed reading this. Please feel free to let me know what you thought: constructive criticism is highly appreciated.

Reviewers get a cuddle from either Harvey or Donna or both, while you munch on a bowl of strawberries. Whipped cream, optional.

xoxo.