Genma grimaced in pain as he climbed the never ending staircase that led up to his apartment. With a hand placed on his ribs, the sight of quite a few broken bones, he tried not to wince as he passed by the fourth floor, and the white door with the number '19' plastered on the top typically blew open.

"Oral Fixation! You're back!" Naruto cried as she grinned at her favorite neighbor.

Genma half heartedly raised a hand in a wave, "Brat."

Naruto tilted her head to the side, "You're injured."

Genma rolled his eyes, an act that somehow caused him pain, "Good observation."

The girl scrunched her nose, "Wow I can practically feel the sarcasm pouring out of you. Why don't you go to the hospital?"

"I did," Genma bit out, "They did all that they could for now, I just have to take it easy for the next few days and I'll be back in fighting shape."

"Oh," Naruto paused, before stammering nervously, "Ya know… if you're hungry, and you look too tired to cook— um I mean, I made dinner. If you want…. To join me, that is."

Genma knew that he shouldn't. He really knew that he shouldn't. Nothing good could come from further interaction with the bratty jinchuriki, it was unhealthy to his overall mental stability. Despite telling himself this over and over again, his mouth moved on its own, "Okay. Thanks."

The bright grin the little blond shot him almost made it worth it. Almost.

Walking into the girls apartment, he saw it was different from the last few times he had peeked through. For one, there was actual furniture around. Secondly, there were no ostriches in sight. Huh, for once it actually looked like a normal home— and he spoke too soon.

"Naruto," Genma bit out, "Why is there a penguin on the couch?"

Naruto poked her head from the kitchen where she was finishing the preparation of dinner, "Oh, that's Timmy. Don't worry, he doesn't bite or anything, so you can sit next to him."

Genma seriously questioned his sanity when he actually took the girl for her word and sat besides the unblinking penguin. He blamed it on his injury and lack of awareness.

With a sigh, he inferred, "Let me guess, another prank?"

"No actually," She called out, "I'm just pet sitting for a friend."

… this is why Genma avoided conversation with his neighbor at all cost. She was an unpredictable little brat who always managed to give him a headache, "Pet sitting."

"Yup!"

Genma refused to give this more thought, so with a sigh he asked the only question that came to mind, "Why?"

"Why what? Why am I pet sitting? Or why does my friend own a penguin?"

"Both. Either."

Naruto carried a tray as she exited the kitchen, which made quite a comical sight as the tray was way too oversized for her small frame. However as a ninja in training, she balanced the weight easily as she placed it on the coffee table in front of him. Taking a seat on the love seat in front of the couch, she spoke, "Well you know my friend Aiko right? The Red Light District worker who uses the alley behind your favorite bar? Well she got the penguin as a gift from one of her wealthier clients after offhandedly mentioning that they were her favorite animal. Anyways, she's on an 'extended business trip' with a client to the Daimyo's palace, so she asked me to look out for little Timmy here while she was gone."

Genma blinked. He sighed, "Naruto, why are you friends with a prostitute?"

Naruto tilted her head in confusion, "Because she was nice to me, duh."

Fuck. He tried the hide the wince that was threatening to unleash; it was never easy to be reminded of how lonely of a life the poor girl actually leads. So instead of doing something stupid, something any other ninja would have done in his situation when confronted with this concerning piece of information, he just sighed and said, "She sounds like a good friend. How did you two meet?"

Naruto grinned as she served him his bowl of homemade ramen. She knew how people of Aiko's profession were treated, Naruto was young not blind. But Aiko never hid her job as she wasn't embarrassed, so Naruto shouldn't either. She was… well grateful that Genma didn't go on a rant and calling her a child— like the Hokage has done those first few times she'd mentioned any acquaintances with questionable professions.

"It's actually a funny story. It was about a year ago, and I just pulled this awesome prank on Iruka-sensei involving some tar and feathers. He was… a bit mad. He chased me through the whole village so I decided to hide in the one place he'd never think to check, the Red Light District! I met Aiko in her alley, and she helped hide me behind a dumpster until it was safe to leave. The orphanage was pretty close to the district, so I stopped by to say hi quite often. She's nice."

Genma nodded seemingly understandingly as he took a bite of his ramen, which he was loath to admit was actually quite tasty, "I'm glad you have a good friend."

Naruto blinked, "You are?"

The ninja just frowned sarcastically, "Only because it'll mean that you'll spend less time bothering me and more time with other people, you cheeky little brat."
The girl stuck out her tongue mockingly, "Face it Oral Fixation, you actually like me. I'm amusing."

"You're nothing of the sort," He dismissed, sniffing in distaste as he took another bite.

Naruto laughed, "I'll get you to admit it one of these days, just you wait!"

"Ha! Good luck with that, brat."

Genma groaned as he opened the door to his apartment. His ribs were still healing, and the pain medications he was on were no way near strong enough to knock him out. As his closest friends were currently on missions of their own, there was only one person who could be at the door, "Naruto, I'm shocked you know how to actually knock on my door."

Naruto grinned as she moved past the injured ninja into his apartment, her small arms cradling the damn penguin to her chest as she waltzed into his sanctuary as though she owned the place, "I would have climbed through the window again, but I didn't want to risk hurting little Timmy."

Genma sighed in defeat, closing the door behind her and flopping on his couch, "And why have you and little Timmy come to bother me this time?"

Naruto flashed her teeth in a feral grin that Genma would never admit to being afraid of. Extending the penguin towards him, she stated matter of factly, "Timmy missed you."

Genma, who was now face to face with the creepy unblinking penguin, just stated hysterically, "Of course, Timmy the Penguin missed me. Why not? That's, after all, the new normal in my life since you moved in, why would I ever doubt the validity of the statement?"

Naruto nodded seriously, passing the penguin into his unwilling arms before striding towards his kitchen, "Great, I'm glad you understand!"

Genma didn't even want to know what Naruto was doing in his kitchen, so instead he held Timmy and looked into his eyes as he spoke, "Your baby sitter is a wack job."

To this day until the end of days, Genma would swear that the damn penguin actually nodded back in agreement.

The clatter of pans drew his attention back to the kitchen, where Naruto was still doing… well whatever it was she was doing. "Naruto," he called out in exasperation, "What are you doing in my kitchen?!"

Naruto poked her head out of the kitchen, flour staining her forehead as she smiled, "Making lunch of course! You're injured, and if you starve to death, the smell will be horrible, and as your neighbor I really don't want my own apartment to smell like a dead sexual deviant. Ergo I'm cooking for you."

Genma exchanged glances with the penguin who for some reason was still in his lap, before sighing, "No ramen this time!"

"Beggars can't be choosers, Oral Fixation! So suck it up! I know you're already good at that!"

If the insults weren't directed towards himself, Genma really would find Naruto to be hilarious; her sexual innuendos unparalleled even by the most veteran of shinobi. Instead, he tapped into his inner child that the brat always managed to coax out, and threw a pillow towards the kitchen door.

Five days. Five days of fucking torture as he was unable to leave his apartment building for fear of injuring himself even further. Five fucking days with only Naruto and Timmy the Penguin as sources of amusement. The two, like clockwork, showed up every day at his apartment at 11:00, and did not deign to leave until well past sunset. In that time Naruto had brought over more board games then Genma was even aware existed, and she somehow kicked his ass in all of them. Literally all of them. As in Genma, a full grown adult and jonin, couldn't beat this 10 year old academy brat in even one of her stupid little games.

She had the luck of a God, Genma decided, and sometime soon he was going to drag the girl into a casino to help win them a bit of money. And no, he didn't feel it inappropriate; it's hardly like he could corrupt her even further than she managed to corrupt herself.

By the end of the five days, when he was finally healed enough to go out alone and Naruto had remembered she was an academy student and should probably attend at some point this week, he was glad to be out of the apartment. His first stop, naturally, was a bar. He had spent the last five days in close quarters with Naruto, if anyone in his village deserved a stiff drink, it was him.

Slipping into his usual counter, and sipping his usual poison, he finally felt at peace. Soon enough, someone slipped into the booth in front of him and disturbed his moment of tranquility, "Hard day?"

Genma glared at the copy-cat before sighing, "Hard week. I've been confined to bed rest after a mission."

Kakashi clicked his tongue sympathetically, "We've all been there."

Genma really really doubted that.

"Hey Gentlemen! I have a bet going against Kurenai; do you guys think the hot bartender would sleep with me if I offered 'my services'?"

Genma chuckled as Anko, Kurenai and Asuma joined the duo at the booth, "Sorry Anko, I have to side with Kurenai on this one."

Anko pouted, "What about you Kakashi? Do you think she'll sleep with me?"

Kakashi looked up from his orange covered book, "Sorry Anko, did you say something."

Anko huffed and crossed her arms as she leaned back into her seat, "You guys all suck."

Asuma laughed, "So Genma, heard you got injured on the last mission."

Genma winced at the reminder, "Got hit by the blunt side of a war hammer by some Iwa bastard. Broke a few ribs."

"Are you okay?" Kurenai asked sweetly.

Genma grinned wolfishly, "Why Kurenai, I am absolutely perfect. But if you want to help nurse me back to shape then as a gentlemen I'll have to allow you."

Before Kurenai could work out a flustered response, Anko exclaimed, "Holy fuck is that a penguin running through the bar?"

All of the shinobi instantly looked, only to be shocked to see a small penguin causing mayhem as it ran through the establishment.

Genma just shrugged nonchalantly as he returned to his drink, "Oh, that's just Timmy."

"What the fuck is a Timmy?" Anko asked.

"Timmy is the penguin."

Silence.

"And— you know this Timmy?" Kakashi asked, the odd situation finally tearing him away from his literature.

"My neighbor is pet setting him for the week. He actually belongs to the night walker who works in the alley that the back door of the bar leads to," Genma informed them carelessly, gesturing to the bartender for another drink.

Silence.

"Wait. There isn't a back door to this bar," Kurenai said.

Genma nodded, "Yeah there is. It's behind the counter, down the hall and to the right. It opens up to the Red Light District, where Timmy's real owner works."

Silence.

"And owning a penguin is legal in Konoha?" Asuma asked tentatively. The laws for animal control with civilians was quite strict, so he wasn't aware of the extract intricacies.

Genma just nodded, apparently not even seeing the oddity of this conversation, "As long as you don't enter it into a bird orgy or fighting rink, it's legal."

Silence.

Perhaps Genma should not have used Naruto's exact words when describing the legality of owning a penguin, but fuck five days in that psychopaths constant presence was apparently enough to severely affect his sanity.

"What the fuck have you been doing during your spare time man?" Anko questioned, amusement colored on her features.

Genma grimaced, "I have a— really weird neighbor."

Naruto grinned jovially as she sprinted towards her favorite place in the whole wide world: Ichiraku Ramen. Her sanctuary amongst the previously lonely streets of Konoha, where she felt welcome no matter how many pranks she pulled. Although it wasn't quite her only sanctuary anymore. It was odd to admit, but her neighbors apartment also began to feel like home to her. A place where she could have amusing conversations without fear of being ostracized. It was different, in an awesome way.

Leaping onto her usual seat and slamming her hand down imperviously on the counter, she cried, "Hey Teuchi! Hey Ayame! I'll take my usual please!"

The older man chuckled at the blonds antics, "Right away, Naruto-chan."

The young girl smiled, and just before she could reply another customer sat at the booth. His smooth voice spoke softly, "One chicken ramen please."

"Oh hey, it's the Pedophile!" Naruto exclaimed, watching the light reflect off of his glasses as the jonin sighed.

"Naruto, my name is Ebisu. Use it."

Naruto pretended to ponder the idea, before ultimately discarding it, "Nah, Pedophile suits you more."

Ebisu groaned, his hand raising to massage the bridge of his nose in exasperation, "Genma was right, you are ridiculously stubborn about your foul nicknames."

"It's one of my better qualities, I'll admit."

"Agree to disagree," Ebisu mumbled under his breath, "Wait. What are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the academy right about now?"

Naruto shrugged as she dug into the bowl Ayame had just placed in front of her, "Well yeah. But I got bored and hungry, so I left."

Ebisu paused, "You got bored and hungry, so you left the academy?"

Naruto nodded absentmindedly as she obnoxiously slurped her ramen, "Yup. Iruka-sensei was droning on and on about who-knows-what and I just couldn't find it in me to care."

Behind his reflective shades, Ebisu's eye was twitching in justified annoyance. With a thin coating of rage covering his words, he spoke, "So you just left?"

Naruto frowned as she stared up at the man, "Are you deaf, Pedophile? I'm not too keen on repeating myself you know."

With a visible twitch in his cheek, Ebisu suddenly stood up. Grabbing onto Naruto's forearm, he dragged her away from her ramen kicking and screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK PEDOPHILE!? LET ME GO!"

"You are going back to the Academy right this instant, I don't care if I have to drag you the entire way!" Ebisu exclaimed passionately, ignoring curious passerby's as he hoisted the little blond onto his shoulders.

"LET! ME! GO!"

"Your education is important. As a future ninja of the village, it is flat out dangerous to skip out on your lessons like this."

Naruto tried all she could to kick her captor, "I'll go, I'll go! Just put me down!"

Ebisu paused, "You promise?"

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed as she wiggled in his hold, "Just put me down, I promise I'll go."

Slowly, Ebisu eased the young girl on her feet, waiting until she grabbed her bearings. Before he could speak another world, dirt was thrown in his face as the orange clad blond darted into a side alley as fast as her legs could carry her, "NOT! Later Pedophile!"

"NARUTO GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Ebisu shouted, with only a string of girlish laughter as his answer as he chased after the ridiculous ninja.

Genma felt his smirk grow with each passing second of resonating silence, his lips twitching in amusement as he stared down at his dirt covered friend, "So… are you going to explain why you decided to chase my academy attending neighbor down the streets of Konoha for well over an hour?"

Ebisu frowned in response, his arms crossing and his lips curled into a petulant pout, "She's ridiculously good at evading capture for an academy student."

Genma nodded, "No, I know that. She did manage to break into my apartment after all, so I assumed that evading capture would be a part of her skill set. What I'm confused about is why you felt the need to chase her in the first place."

Ebisu sighed as he wiped the dirt off his glasses, his voice softly muttering, "She was skipping the academy."

Genma, as a ninja well worth his reputation, heard the man loud and clear, "So. You chased a ten year old all around the village. Because she was skipping."

Ebisu frowned, "It is detrimental to the future of Konoha for a child to be skipping the academy. We cannot foresee the repercussions this could have in the future when she is a kunoichi and has gaps missing in her education."

Genma stifled a laughter, a corner of his lips turning up in amusement, "She's a right brat, isn't she?"

Ebisu sighed loudly and dramatically, "YES! I don't understand how you could possibly deal with her for extended periods of time, only three minutes in her presence was enough to spiral me into a homicidal rage."

Genma laughed, "I told you! She just has a way of pushing your buttons. I've stopped letting her affect me, it was bad for my lingering sanity."

"How do you deal with," Ebisu scrunched up his nose in disgust, "the vile nicknames?"

Genma patted his old teammates shoulder sympathetically, "When I figure out how to deal with it, I'll let you know."

Ebisu slammed his head on the kitchen counter. This girl was going to be an absolute menace, he just knew it.