Genma Shiranui was a simple man. He enjoyed women, good booze, women, his peace, women, his friends, and most importantly: women. He also enjoyed nothing more than a night of peace and quiet after a particularly difficult mission, which his latest just happened to be.

Genma groaned in exhaustion as he trudged up the stairs to his apartment. He had just come off a two month long A-rank mission, and every part of his body was begging to just drop. He was sore in places he never knew could be sore, and felt numb in places he didn't know existed. The mission was harder than what was advertised. After weeks of trailing the suspects, the shinobi finally had their chance to complete the mission; only for the entire thing to be a trap. Genma and his three teammates had to fight their way out of a swarm of enemies, with their lives barely preserved.

Needless to say, Genma craved for little more than a solid nap. Fourth floor. Just one more flight of stairs. He winced as he prepared himself to once more being the tumultuous journey of climbing.

Just as he was about to climb the first stair, a door to the left burst open with a zealous force, almost knocking into Genma as he barely managed to sidestep. With his eyes wide and attentive, he watched as a small blond fury stomped her way out of Apartment 19, barely stopping to slam the door behind her. With a thesaurus worth of curses spat out loudly in the narrow hall, the little blond terror made her way down the stairs, an echo of foul language strung along behind her.

Genma shuddered at the sight. Apartment 19 was the one directly below his, and for months his quiet elderly neighbor has been trying to sublease the place, to no avail. The building was not located in the best of neighborhoods, just bordering the red light district. However, just yesterday the man had finally moved out, saying his goodbyes to all of those who lived in the building. Genma could only sit and pray that the little girl wasn't the daughter of the newest tenants. He enjoyed the peace and quiet his home had to offer, and he would hate for his solace to be disturbed by a loud brat with no manners.

Obnoxious knocking disturbed his peace. Genma opened an eye as the knocking grew louder and louder, coaxing him to open the door and pound the assailant into submission. Groaning in distaste, he rose from his bed and reached for his bedside table for his trusty weapon of choice. Placing the senbon between his lips, he slowly made his way over to the door, his mind drafting out a long speech about proper etiquette.

With a flick of his wrist he opened the door, coming face to face with the small blond girl from earlier that day. The child, for she could be no older than ten, had her fist out poised and ready to knock, her other arm clutching a plastic bag. With a widely disarming grin, she exclaimed, "Hey neighbor! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I live in Apartment 19! Let's get along!"

Genma blinked. He blinked again. Looking side to side, he finally answered with a groggy voice, "What are you doing here?"
The blond smiled, "Greeting my new neighbor of course!"

It was way too early for this. Genma ran a hand over his face, "Great. You've said hello. Are we done here?"

Naruto frowned, " I moved into Apartment 19 today, and I heard it was proper etiquette to gift your neighbors with soba noodles. So here." She shoved the plastic bad towards him.

He tentatively accepted it, his lips tugged down in confusion, "Kid, where are your parents?"

Naruto scowled, "I'm an orphan."

"You're an orphan?" Kami above, Genma was slow today.

"Yes."

"So you don't have any parents?"

"That's what being an orphan means."

"So you live alone?"

"Obviously."

"Why aren't you at an orphanage?"

"Kami above! What's with all the questions? You lack a shirt and you don't see me commenting on it!"

Genma looked down. He was shirtless. Oops. "You just commented on it though."

Naruto growled, "That was because you drove me to the brink of insanity with your incessant questions!"

"Aren't you like ten? How would you know what insanity sounds like?"

"Easy," Naruto grinned cheekily, "All I have to do is listen to you."

"Shouldn't you be at school or something right about now?"

The girl shrugged, "The academy let out early today."

"You're going to be a ninja?"

Naruto grinned, "Yes I am! Not only that; I will also be the first female Hokage!"

"You. A loudmouth. Want to be the Hokage?"

"This coming from a guy who obviously has some type of oral fixation with senbon?"

Genma's jaw dropped, "You're ten! How the hell do you know what an oral fixation is?!"

Naruto shrugged, "I read sometimes."

"Alright kid, thanks for interrupting my sleep, hope I don't see you around!"

While slamming the door, he could hear his newest neighbor scream out, "Right back at you, Oral Fixation!"

Fuck. He was going to be called that for a while, he could just feel it. The girl did look a slight bit familiar to him, but Genma just shoved that thought aside. He could contemplate it when he wasn't delirious from pain and pharmaceuticals.

"Hey Oral Fixation!"

Genma winced as he halted his climbing. He knew that little brat was going to milk this nickname for all it was worth. "Listen kid, I don't have an oral fixation!"

Naruto laughed as she leaned on her doorway, watching her older neighbor scowl at her in distaste, "Sure thing, Oral Fixation. Whatever you say."

Genma groaned, "Look kid—"

"Naruto," she interrupted.

Genma stammered, "Excuse me?

"Naruto. That's my name. Naruto Uzumaki. I doubt you heard it yesterday what with how tired you were, so I thought I would repeat it."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! His loud mouthed new neighbor was Hokage-sama's kid!? The Jinchuriki? FUCK.

Genma scoffed flippantly, "I don't care, Naru-chan. The point is, stop calling me by that disgusting nickname."

Naruto giggled, "Oh please, I've seen you around the village, and not once have I seen you without a senbon in your mouth. You might as well admit your fixation; I've heard admitting your denial is the first step to healing."

Genma groaned, "I don't have a fixation, so there's nothing to heal!"

Naruto raised her hands in a sign of peace, "Look man, that's between you and your therapist."

Genma facepalmed, "As usual, this had been a truly wonderful conversation. See you around, Naru-chan."

"Later, Oral Fixation!"

With a flourish, Genma signed his signature on yet another form, before deftly putting that to the side and picking up another one. He hated paperwork, but someone had to fill in the mission completion form. Nara Shikaku was too lazy, and Gai was too… well everything. So to avoid any headache, they elected for Genma to be the one to submit this specific form. Damn bastards.

Just as he was about to complete the last form, a loud noise made him jolt and spill ink all across the page. Genma almost cried as he tried to salvage the mission report, but to no avail. With a scowl, he put aside the now ruined paper, and trudged out of his apartment. As he marched down the stairs, he cursed the very day that the little jinchuriki moved in.

Pounding on his neighbors door, he almost started yelling the moment the tiny girl opened the door, large welding goggles practically morphed onto her face. "Hey, Oral Fixation! What brings you here?"

Genma scowled as he took in the sight behind her. Her apartment was alarmingly bare, with only a small ratty couch placed in the middle of her living room, and a random drill tossed hazardously on the floor.

"Naru-chan," Genma spoke behind gritted teeth, "What the hell was that noise?"

Naruto giggled sheepishly, her had raised to scratch the back of her head, "Sorry about that, Oral Fixation. I was just setting up my latest prank against Iruka sensei and my drill kind of ran away from me."

There was so much wrong with that sentence. Like, a lot. Seriously, which smart ass decided to let a ten year old idiot live alone?! Whatever, it wasn't Genma's problem. As long as she kept the noise down, he couldn't care less about her pranks or her method of living.

"Try to keep it down, would you? You made me ruin my mission report."

Naruto blinked. Her head tilted to the side in adorable confusion, "Wait, you're a ninja?"

Genma scoffed, "Well, obviously."

"Huh, I never knew that! I just thought the senbon was just some weird sadist kink!"

Genma winced, "Seriously kid, what the fuck have you been reading?"

Naruto frowned, "Icha Icha. Why?"

The ninja felt his jaw drop, "You've been reading Icha Icha? Why kind of psychopath allowed you to read that?!"

"Allowed?" Naruto snorted, "Nobody allows me to do anything. I'm an orphan, remember?"

Right. Hokage-sama and Kushina-née were dead. Fuck.

"And none of the matrons at the orphanage stopped you from reading a book that vile?"

"Please, they would rather pretend I didn't exist. Icha Icha was the only book I could get a hold of to practice my reading. Without it, I'd still be illiterate."

Right. She was hated. Genma refused to feel bad for her. She was still annoying, loud, and more trouble than he could afford. Fuck.

"Naru-chan, that book is practically porn with a loose plot."

The jinchuriki shrugged, an action that made the girl look so much like her father Genma's heart almost stopped, "It's entertaining porn at least."

"You're ten."

"I'm aware," she parroted mockingly.

The jonin sighed, "Ugh, just wait here."

Naruto blinked as she watched her older neighbor climb the stairs back up to his apartment. Before long, he had come back, a stack of books in his arms. Shoving the bundle into the young girls arms, he spoke, "Here. These are a bit more age appropriate. I thoroughly recommend reading the first book on the pile, something tells me you'll like it."

Naruto raised he gaze front he pile in her arms, her eyes twinkling with unshod tears, "Th-thank you, Genma."

"Huh," he chuckled, "So you do know my name."

"Don't get used to it."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Tales of an Utterly Gutsy Shinobi, huh? Naruto couldn't wait to read it.

Genma whistled jovially as he stirred the fancy meal he was preparing. With a spring in his step he danced around the kitchen, his counter a cacophony of spices and seasonings. It was a great day; nay, a great week. He had finally gotten a date with the hot bartender that he had been flirting with for weeks, making a lot of money from Kakashi who swore that she would never give him the time of day. With a chuckle, he opened the bottle of wine he had been saving, letting the sweet juice breathe.

The best part about his upcoming date, however, was that Gai was currently on a long mission. That means that no one was around to interrupt his dinner, sending his charming date running for the hills. Genma loved his old teammate, truly, but he wouldn't want to inflict Gai and his personality on anybody. Especially a possible paramour.

A soft knocking interrupted his musing. Genma quickly checked his reflection on the full body mirror he had set up next to the door. After straightening out his black button up and running his fingers through his shoulder length hair; he was ready. With a charming grin gracing his countenance, he swung open the door. His date for the evening, Lillian, blushed cutely as she took in his appearance.

"Hi," He greeted with a smile, gesturing for her to come in.

"Hello," Lillian responded, making her way over to the couch and accepting a glass of wine, "You know, I was quite surprised that you asked me out."

Genma chuckled, "Oh? And why is that?"

The dark haired woman smirked coyly, "Oh it's just that I never thought that the famous womanizer, Genma Shiranui, would take interest in little old me. I'm sure you have a parade of women just lining up at your bedroom door."

The tokubetsu jonin sighed dramatically, "I'm afraid, my dear, that I have been the pray of some ill rumors as of late. Some jealous folk running around with their tongues wildly waltzing as they craft lie after lie."

Lillian raised a brow, "You mean to say that you are not a womanizer?"

Genma nodded solemnly, "Nothing but rumors, I assure you."

"Well that's good to hear. My friends have been warning me about you all week. I'll be glad to walk into work tomorrow with my head held high, able to put their worries at ease," she responded, leaning into him slightly as he took a seat besides her.

"Glad to be of service," He leaned in closer, his lips close enough to softly graze her own.

Just as he was about to seal the deal, a loud knock interrupted, causing them to spring apart in surprise. Genma glanced at the calendar on his coffee table; Gai should still be on his mission. Who else would be at his door?

"Oy! Oral Fixation, I know you're home! Open up!"

"Did that girl just refer to you as Oral Fixation?" Lillian questioned incredulously, her nose scrunched up in distaste.

Genma groaned loudly as he made his way to the door, opening it only slightly, "Naru-chan, I have company. So scram."

Naruto tilted her head, "Company? You have friends?"

Genma could feel his eye twitch in irritation, "Yes I do. Now leave."

Naruto craned her head to look past her neighbor and into his apartment, "Wow, she's pretty! What's that, the fourth girl this week?"

Genma felt sweat pool down his back as Lillian screeched behind him, "Excuse me?"

"Naru-chan," Genma hissed, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Leave now, please."

Naruto scrunched her nose in thought, "But she is the fourth girl this week! You're the only person who lives above me, and I'm certain I've seen three other girls come for dinner, and leave just before dawn this week alone!"

With a disbelieving scoff, Lillian picked up her purse, pushing past the seemingly apologetic jonin, and walked out of the apartment, "Just rumors, huh? Ugh, I can't believe I was idiotic enough to believe you!"

"Lillian! Wait!" Genma called out to the beautiful bartender. Naruto, with a bored expression on her face just yawned, "Dude she's not coming back."

Genma growled, "Naru-chan, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Naruto grinned awkwardly, "Well, I ran out of ramen today, and I don't have any more money to buy food. I don't get paid from the Orphans Trust Fund until tomorrow, and I was prepared to just skip dinner again, but I smelled your cooking from my apartment and couldn't help myself."

No. No no no no no. Genma was not going to encourage this type of behavior. "Don't you have any other neighbors to bother? You know neighbors who aren't on dates?"

Naruto grimaced, "Um, not really."

The jonin sighed, "What are you talking about? Besides you and I, there are 18 other people in this damn building."

"Well yeah," Naruto admitted, "But you're the only one who accepted the soba noodles."

"…What?"

"You know, that first day I came and introduced myself? Well, you were sort of my last stop. Everyone else who opened the door immediately slammed it back in my face before I could offer the noodles." She admitted with a sheepish smile.

No. Genma would not feel bad for her. No. Absolutely not… Fuck.

Groaning, he opened the door widely, "Just come in already. And don't get used to this, it's a one time offer only!"

Naruto grinned, "Wouldn't dream of it, Oral Fixation!"

Fuck.