You are my universe – chapter four

Authors note: Hi everyone. I hope you're all okay. Just a quick warning that there will be some triggering content in this chapter. I am going to try to keep it as quick as possible and will be marking the section with a trigger warning so if you need to skip it you can. I will be writing some information later in the chapter however that vaguely implies what happened so really if it is likely to be a real problem for you I would just suggest skipping this chapter and I will give a non-triggering overview at the start of the next chapter. I'll see you on the other side.

Chapter description: Ahsoka has settled back into life at the temple during her leave but when she goes to find her friend Barriss she makes a shocking discovery. How will everybody react to it and can something positive come out of something so distressing?

Ahsoka was walking around the temple. She had been back for several days now and honestly, she was bored. The battlefield was stressful yes but it gave her this rush of adrenalin which now it wasn't there had left her feeling kind of lost. She started to think about who she could go and see. Anakin was checking over some of the ships in the hanger and while she loved to help him with interesting jobs and wouldn't have even minded watching him do the work a couple of times but after a little while she would have been bored out of her mind. Master Kenobi was in a council meeting again so she couldn't go to see him. Then she realised that she'd seen Master Unduli earlier near the halls of healing which meant that Barriss was in the temple.

She changed her direction to head towards Barriss' rooms. Ahsoka hadn't seen her best friend in months. Her and Barriss had been friends for a while now and they often commed each other while they were away from the temple although when she thought about it, she hadn't heard from Barriss at all during her last campaign. She brushed off the thought saying to herself that it was probably because she had been taking extra shifts in the halls of healing again. She knew Barriss tended to overwork herself when she got stressed about things and hoped that she could at least distract her friend for a few hours.

** Trigger Warning Starts Here **

She walked over to Barriss' room and knocked on the door. She could tell that her friend was in there but got no response. She entered the door code that she had memorised the last time they were both at the temple. As the door opened Ahsoka froze shocked. Barriss was sitting on the floor crying and looking more and more like she was going to pass out every second. Laying on the floor next to her was a knife sitting in the pool of blood surrounding her body. Ahsoka finally came to her senses and ran over to her. She was checking to find where the blood was coming from and trying to put pressure on as many areas as possible while screaming for someone to come help her when she started crying. Barriss slumped against her side and she kept yelling until a younger knight ran in.

"Call a medic! She's unconscious and I don't know if she's breathing."

** Trigger warning Ends Here **

That was why Ahsoka was now sitting on a chair outside a private room of the halls of healing looking like she had just returned from a battlefield. When the healers finally came out and said she could go in it was three hours later. She pushed the door open gently to see Master Unduli sitting on the edge of Barriss' bed and holding the fragile looking girl in her arms. Ahsoka could see there were bandages everywhere but quickly looked away from them. As Ahsoka came to stand by the top of her bed Barriss moved over slightly and patted the empty space on the bed. Ahsoka climbed up before sliding close to her friend and joining the embrace. They sat there for hours discussing small and trivial things and anything but the war. It wasn't until several hours later that Barriss fell asleep. Ahsoka herself was feeling exhausted and when she heard a gentle voice telling her to sleep, which when she looked back at it was probably a force suggestion. She looked up at Master Unduli's loving smile and knew that things would all be okay in the end.

Obi-wan was still in the council chamber when one of the healers entered to explain what had happened with young Padwan Offee. He felt a numbing feeling come over him as they explained the young girls reasoning for doing such a distressing thing to herself and as he looked around the council chamber, he could see that most of the council members were looking at the floor while some were actually crying. He watched as Master Koon walked over to hold Shaak Ti who was shaking silently.

When Master Windu looked over at the pair Obi-wan noticed that he looked appalled at the behaviour of the two and this look of disagreement only grew when the healer explained that Luminara holding young Barriss was one of the few things able to calm her down. When the healer had finished speaking Mace's first statement was that Master Unduli was clearly far too attached to her Padwan and Obi-wan felt horrified.

It was at this moment that Kit Fisto commented "Well what's wrong with that? If her care and love for the girl is the thing that is keeping the child safe and happy then why should we stop that? Clearly this attachment you speak of may be the only thing that can truly heal the damage done to Offee by this war. How many other Padwans are we hurting by telling them that there is something wrong with accepting comfort from another person?"

Obi-wan realised that he couldn't agree more with Master Fisto and as he looked around the room, he could see many others did as well. There were still some who did not seem to understand but he noted that many of them were older council members who were more routed in tradition and the old ideas of the code. He decided to speak his mind.

"What if we were to lift the rules on attachments? Maybe, if we were to do that, we could help to prevent situations like this from happening again. There are too many jedi who aren't seeking help when they need it for fear it will be labelled as an attachment." There was a general murmuring around the room, some in agreeance and some not.

"The concept of attachments goes against the very code on which this order was built Master Kenobi."

"So does the war that we are fighting right now."

Master Yoda slowly lifted his head and the room fell silent. Everybody tensed waiting to hear the verdict of the grandmaster who had spent most of the meeting in deep meditation.

"For now lift the rule on attachments completely we will. The effect this has we shall see. Dismissed this meeting is."

Anakin was sitting on the sofa reading a manual on a new type of star fighter while Padme was planning her new speech on providing sentient rights for the clones next to him. Occasionally she would turn to him to ask him a question about his men before the room lapsed into a comfortable silence again. The sound of his commlink beeping broke the silence. He didn't recognise the individual code but could see that the call was originating from the temple and so moved into the hallway to take the call. He couldn't risk anyone from the temple finding out about where he was. He was surprised to see one of the healers when he answered the call and as they explained the situation, he only became more and more worried. After confirming at least three times that Ahsoka was physically fine and just rather upset he ended the call and headed through to tell Padme what had happened. When he had finished giving her the condensed version of what had happened, she immediately rushed him out of the door with instructions to make sure Ahsoka was really okay and take care of her.

Anakin arrived at the temple so quickly that he must have broken at least three speed laws on the way. He found himself walking faster than he had possibly ever walked in his life towards the halls. He gently pushed the door open and instantly relaxed slightly when he saw both Ahsoka and Barriss curled up together asleep in Master Unduli's arms. As he walked in she looked up and smiled sadly at him. He could tell that she was clearly struggling to deal with what had happened and pulled over a chair to the other side of the bed. They sat there talking for a while as he tried to comfort her and remind her that this was in no way her fault.

Eventually he decided that he needed to take Ahsoka to go and get cleaned up as although she had clearly washed off most of the blood in a sink there were still little spots. Instead of waking the tired girl, he picked her up, carrying her back to their rooms. When they got back, he gently woke her up and sent her to go clean up properly. While she was in the 'fresher he made them both warm mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows and moved over to their ratty old couch. She came out dressed in a pair of comfy looking sweats and when he lifted up his arm, inviting her for a hug she slipped in by his side. As she started crying, he simply held onto her tighter.

Later when Obi-wan came looking for them to tell them what had happened in the council meeting he found them both asleep together. He covered them with a spare blanket on the armchair and headed for his own rooms. The news could wait. Right now, they needed to rest.

Authors note: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I tried to steer away from the more upsetting parts of the concept as much as I could but that should be the only piece of triggering content you will find in this story. Stay safe and take care of yourselves.

Wonderland Girl