It was the absolute worst time for her to pull a power play, but Buffy didn't care. Every time she was asked by her friends if she wanted them to reach out to Angel and let him know what had happened she'd shaken her head, politely asked them not to bother him. Of course, she couldn't really stop them and there was always a chance one of them would call him to tell him of her mother's passing but Buffy so desperately wanted him to just know. She wanted some confirmation that maybe he felt it somehow, or he was keeping tabs on her, anything...

She'd never needed anything more from her former lover than this right now.

It was stupid, it was silly, but it was what she held on to with all her might.

Buffy stood at her mother's grave, being the slayer for as long as she had she could almost feel as the hours shifted each time. Something in the air here in Sunnydale changed as night fell. Her friends had graciously agreed to patrol on her behalf but it didn't matter tonight. It was almost as if the creatures of the night knew not to come out tonight. That tonight was off limits.

She couldn't help the little flutter in her stomach when she first felt him. Her eyes closed for just an extra second as she said a prayer of thanks that he had actually come. He stepped beside her and apologized for not being there sooner. She knew what he meant and it didn't matter, he was here now and that was what counted. This, right now, was when she needed him the most. She needed him right now as she stood here all alone more than she had when Joyce passed, when she was making the funeral arrangements, even more than during the service. Now was the hardest part of it. Now, it was over... now she was really gone... now she knew she'd never see her mother alive in this world again.

Her hand tangled with his and together they just stared in silence for the next several minutes.

He was the one who convinced her to finally take a break from the standing and the staring, leading her to a quiet spot near a big tree they'd known so well during their time as a couple. He asked a few easy questions to get her talking, to ease the tension between them. The last few times they'd been around one another sure hadn't gone over so smoothly and it hung in the air between them.

Buffy didn't ask him how he knew, she didn't want to know, she didn't want to ruin the little fantasy she had in her head. She just leaned slightly against him and talked, let him know her feelings, her worries... When he told her that she didn't have to do this alone it broke her heart because for a moment she felt hope, but how could there be hope when it was her and Angel?

She blinked back a few tears and looked up at the sky. They wouldn't have long now.

'It's not enough time,' her brain screamed. And almost as if he could read her mind he told her he would stay in time as long as she wanted him to. Before she could even stop herself, she blurted it out. "How's forever? Does forever work for you?" Because that is exactly how long she wanted him here, how long she needed him.

She wished she hadn't looked back, seeing that look on his face. He looked so broken, knowing he couldn't agree to that as much as he wanted. She knew if their situation was any different he would... it wasn't fair to put that on him. She sniffled and moved a little, saying the words for him. "That's a bad idea."

OoOoO

Angel's own head space was so messed up right now. He didn't think being in Sunnydale was helping that any but being with Buffy was important, right now he was what she needed. Unfortunately, that included in many ways that he couldn't give in to her.

He wished he could tell her he would never leave her side again, that forever was exactly how long he wished to stay here in Sunnydale, that she'd never have to feel alone in this because he would be here. But fate didn't have that in the cards just yet. He knew she needed something to feel connected to him though, to feel something, anything. He did his best to push everything as far down into himself as he could and let her know it was okay, that he could take it.

Honestly, he wasn't so sure he could. Every time he thought of her now days he'd pictured how happy they had been in the day that never was, the day he alone had memory of. Knowing he'd only get a taste of what it would be like to be with her once again only to have to leave... it never got easier.

But the words were out there. Buffy got that look he knew so well on her face right before her eyes closed and she slowly began moving toward him. It pained him as he closed his own eyes and before he knew it, her lips were on his. Exactly where they had always belonged.

It didn't take long for everything to start spiraling out of control. It was Buffy, there was never a polite hello or goodbye, there was too much between them for that to work. Every time they touched there was always a need for more, always more... always more that they couldn't have. She was emotional and all of it came through during their little session, how scared she was, how heartbroken she was, how much she missed him... How much she just wanted him to take that pain away and make her feel whole again...

OoOoO

Buffy wanted to say consequences be damned right now, she just wanted him. The concern over what would happen if they got "fleshy" with one another again didn't matter in this moment, she just wanted to feel him, to be okay for a little while. She closed her eyes and let everything but him fade away, let herself enjoy how he tasted, how natural being with him felt.

But as she brushed against the hardening in his pants with a slight shift of her body it brought her back to reality.

Maybe he couldn't handle her neediness as well as he thought. That made her happy, though, to know she still had this effect on him. Angel tried to apologize but she quickly shut that down. It was heaven that he came, that he was here with her. If only for the night...

The End.