this is a sequel to The Chosen One & The Halfblood Prince, so it will contain callbacks and spoilers for that first part, but I also think it ought to be enjoyable without reading the first part. and I'm always happy to answer questions either here in the reviews (unless it's a guest review, i can't respond to those) or over at my tumblr, waitingondaisies, so feel free to ask away

Severus sat down heavily at his desk, burying his face into his hands. It had been a hellish past couple of months.

When the portkey had landed in the Hospital Wing, Poppy had immediately ushered Harry away for treatment. In her absence, Severus had slipped away to his quarters for the first time since he had begun his charade.

With Albus's death, the wards Albus had put up to prevent anyone from entering Severus's quarters had fallen. So, standing in the entryway to his quarters, Severus had spent the next several minutes doing his best to replace the fallen wards with his own. Once he had finished that task, Severus had walked into his quarters properly.

They had been exactly as he'd left them on that last night before he'd assumed the identity of Alfonse "Eli" Hopkirk, sixth-year Gryffindor.

This familiarity– stagnancy, even– had struck Severus heavily.

Severus had changed so much in the short time since he'd last step foot in these quarters, but nothing else had changed. Not his quarters, not his colleagues. Not Harry.

Nothing had changed, except for Severus himself.

And so Severus had spent the next several days processing all the changes his time as Eli had wrought in him. He had also spent time, with Minerva's help when she could spare the time, cleaning up the mess that Dumbledore's death had left. Chen had continued to cover his classes so that he would have time to do the bulk of the work.

The Board of Governors had approved Minerva's appointment as headmistress readily enough, thankfully. But that meant Severus had needed to begin the search for a new Transfiguration professor. And, of course, Albus's will had needed to be executed, and his funeral had needed to be planned.

Severus had also needed to sort through the fallout from his time as Eli. Really he was still sorting through it, since Harry had yet to forgive him or even look him in the eye. But in the immediate aftermath, Severus had needed to ensure that Mafalda Hopkirk wasn't suspicious, and to ensure that none of Harry's friends spread the information around.

Without Albus to handle the press, it could have been troublesome if word had gotten out that Severus, fully-grown adult and morally-grey spy to boot, had masqueraded as a child.

After Albus's funeral, Minerva had pulled Severus aside and informed him that she had appointed him as Deputy Headmaster. Severus had protested, had said that there were others that were far more qualified for the position than he was, but Minerva had refused to listen.

When Severus had finally fallen silent, Minerva had explained that she had been torn over appointing him– because of the very reasons that Severus had tried to delineate. But her decision had been made following his initiative in stepping forward to clean up the mess left behind in the wake of Dumbledore's death, Voldemort's slaughter, and his own unmasking.

Severus had even managed to find a new Transfiguration professor before Dumbledore's funeral. Andromeda Tonks had agreed to take Minerva's place for at least a couple of years. This had allowed Minerva to focus more of her attention on the battles she was fighting with the Ministry, battles to keep Hogwarts free of their control. The leeches over at the Ministry had seen a power vacuum in Albus's death, and they had done their level best to seize some of that power for themselves.

However, it had not taken Minerva long to teach them the error of their ways, and once she had done so, Severus had been able to pass some of the duties he had been fulfilling over to Minerva, where they rightfully belonged.

Not long after Dumbledore's funeral, Chen had come into Severus's office. She had said that she had noticed that Severus had changed, and that if he wanted, she would be willing to teach him how to be a more effective professor.

His first instinct had been to react defensively, to deny that he needed any help in that realm, but he had restrained that impulse long enough to come to the obvious conclusion that, perhaps, he could use some pointers from her.

And since things had finally begun to settle down again, he had the time to begin to move back into his classroom.

Chen had said that she believed the best way to learn was to do, so thus began a period wherein Severus and Chen co-taught every potions class. After every class, Chen had given him pointers on how to improve until she had finally stopped having any pointers to give at all.

At that point, Chen had said that she had taught Severus all she could, had said that she would take her leave.

During the time where Severus and Chen had been co-teaching, the discomfort Severus had felt around Harry had been somewhat alleviated by Chen's constant presence.

The first lesson Severus had given to the sixth years on his own had been uncomfortable in an entirely new– and intense– way.

Harry had refused to look Severus in the eye. This had been nothing new, but it had been far more obvious in the absence of Chen, where Harry had preferred to look during lectures even when Severus had been the one lecturing. Without Chen to deflect his gaze onto, Harry had spent the entire lecture with his eyes glued to either his notes or his parchment.

Severus was now sitting in his office after yet another of these uncomfortable lessons. Harry's determination to not look at him was getting to be truly ridiculous, but Severus had absolutely no idea what he could do about it.

The classroom was hardly the place for such a confrontation, and Harry avoided Severus with incredible efficiency outside classes. And looking at his notes or cauldron was not a sufficient reason for Severus to give Harry detention anymore– not that he wanted to antagonize the boy with such an action.

This left Severus with practically no options regarding how to begin to make things up to Harry.

Not that Severus could blame Harry for his avoidance. Severus had lied to Harry specifically to become his friend. Had gained Harry's trust, both as Eli over the week where he had masqueraded as Harry's classmate, and as Severus during that final confrontation against Voldemort.

And then Albus had forced Severus to destroy all the trust that Harry might have had in him.

Now his rapport with Harry was worse off than it had been even before Severus had first learned he was wrong about Harry, because Harry now had every reason to hate and mistrust him. Severus could not blame Harry for his reaction, and because he could not blame Harry, he found it hard to think of a way to begin to repair things between them, to rebuild the trust.

Besides what he was already doing, that is. Which was by giving Harry as much space as he possibly could, by grading him and his friends fairly, by publicly punishing his Slytherins when they were bullies.

But it wasn't enough.

It had done nothing to bridge the wall that Harry had built between them.

A small part of Severus wondered if he ought to give up on the hope of ever reconciling with Harry. But then Severus's memories of his time spent with Harry would swarm to the forefront of his mind, leaving him bereft and determined to fix things between them once more.

Especially since those memories included reminders of what Harry had to look forward to, if Harry was allowed to return to the Dursley's residence.

Thankfully, Severus still had until summer break to mend things between him and Harry, enough time to ensure that the boy never returned to that place. Or, failing that, he had time to convince someone else– Minerva, possibly– to see to it for him.

But Severus knew that to have something done right, he needed to do it himself.

So Severus resolved to bide his time and hope that an opportunity to take down the wall between them would present itself.

AN: just so you know, the fic will mostly be written in past tense, not past perfect tense lmaooo please let me know what you thought in the comments!