Published August 5, 2020

A/N: It's never safe in the car, or in the Buy More.

Still December 24, 2008

Alex didn't mean to wait until the last minute, but she had been caught off-guard and didn't want to be left unprepared. She went to the Buy More that morning because she found out that her mom's boyfriend was coming over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. Her mom had been dating Peter for a couple months, and last week she'd asked her daughter what she thought about her mom staying at his place overnight sometime. Before that awkward conversation, she had thought she was safe from that until after she graduated from college with her criminology degree. Then it wouldn't matter because she'd move out, and she'd avoid being around for her mom's walk of shames back into the home. Conversations like that made her want to find an apartment on campus right away. She wondered if a student could get one starting in the Spring semester. For a college student living at home, that conversation was supposed to go the other way around.

She had no idea what to expect tomorrow. She thought she ought to have a safety gift. After the conversation she wished had never happened, it would be awkward enough around the two of them. It would be worse if she was empty-handed for a gift exchange that she didn't even know for sure was happening.

When Alex entered the Buy More, she didn't have any good ideas. The only things she knew about Peter were he sold insurance, he wasn't creepy around a grown-up daughter (ehem, Jake), and he made her mom happy. She started looking for gift ideas at the iPods because everyone likes music. They were way too expensive, especially considering she didn't even know if a gift was needed. A cute salesman named Morgan, dressed for the store as an elf in yellow tights, came to the rescue and changed her entire thinking about the gift.

He suggested a movie, which was more in the right price range. It was great because she could give it to both of them, as a couple, which would be less awkward. If there wasn't a gift giving time with Peter there, she could give it only to her mom. More specifically, Morgan's suggestion was a get holiday classic. As they entered the section, he gave several movies reviews with character voices. He did a hilarious Kermit for The Muppet Christmas Carol, then he discouraged that choice as Jacob Marley, who was one of the two grumpy old guys from the Muppets. Ironically, considering his Christmas costume, he also recommended against Elf because all elves should be less than 6 feet tall. With a decent impression of Jimmy Stewart, he suggested It's a Wonderful Life.

At the diner where she worked, Alex was used to customers "hitting on her." She'd admit that she flirted back because it would help her get better tips. No one close to her age ate there, so it was never remotely serious, and nothing ever went further than friendly banter. The men in their sixties and seventies were sweet.

With Alex a customer for a change, she found herself hoping it would go further. Morgan was really funny, and she was having to hold herself back because she kept wanting to scratch his beard. He looked ridiculous dressed as a Christmas elf, yet he seemed completely at ease around her, in his own self-deprecating way. They seemed to think exactly the same things about movies. It was almost like he was reading her mind. Unfortunately, Morgan hadn't read the part of her mind that wanted him to ask for her number. She was going to have to offer it to him so maybe they could go on a date, someplace away from a Santa's village and the fake snow.

Morgan and Alex agreed that Die Hard was a Christmas movie, though she doubted her mom would appreciate that choice as a gift to Peter and her. Unfortunately, they were interrupted by an older Buy More employee who was a little dazed, almost like he had something wrong in his head. He relayed some kind of a problem with a single word, "Pineapple." She figured it was some special code word because Morgan took it very seriously. He left her and ordered the fire alarm to be pulled. Until then, she knew he was a few years older than her, but she had no idea that he was in charge of the entire store. She figured calling for an evacuation would be the manager's job.

Alex didn't try to fight her way through the panicked mob because she knew it wasn't a real fire. It was something else, she had some time, a part of her hoped to give her digits to the cute guy she had met. Morgan came back to her twice, seemingly caught between something very important going on and the desire to talk to her. She didn't know what the important thing was, but his attention being split back to her was flattering.

The second time he came back, he asked her to go with him, but not the direction the mob of customers and employees were fleeing. The entire situation made no sense. He took her hand, and Alex felt a little spark. She liked it. He insisted they had to hurry and led her to the home theater room in the back of the store. Apparently, it had some special emergency exit, and he thought she should use it, too.

Inside the room, Alex saw a woman disappear through a trapdoor in the floor. Going through some hole in the floor with some man she had just met wasn't something that had been brought up in one of her women's safety, self-defense classes, but it was the same type of thing. She wouldn't be alone, though. She saw some woman go before them. Alex had excelled in self-defense classes and could handle whatever she encountered. Considering his costume, Morgan might need her to protect him. Also, she still hoped for a proper date. Nothing too fancy. Maybe Chinese. That would require her talking with him more, not disappearing into the unruly crowd out front.

She went down the ladder, which ended in a well-lit, extremely long hallway. A bunch of people were way ahead of them, but one tall curly-haired man in a white button down and a green and yellow tie stood at the bottom of the ladder. He frowned, looking up at Morgan with disapproval, fortunately not directing that look at her. Alex hoped she wasn't going to get into trouble.

Morgan closed the trapdoor, and when he was halfway down the ladder, several red security lasers blocked the way back into the store. When Morgan joined them at the bottom of the ladder, the man said, "Morgan, what are you doing bringing a friend down here?"

"I didn't know what's happening, Chuck. I knew trouble was coming, and Alex," he motioned to her, "was waiting in harm's way because I had asked her to wait. I wanted us to go to the safest possible place. You've always protected me, and SuperSarah went this way, so I brought Alex here." Done with his explanation, he switched gears. "What is this place? I didn't know that the Buy More has emergency earthquake tunnels."

Chuck slowly shook his head with a grimace. "That's not where we are." Then, he put on a smile and greeted her. "Hi, I'm Chuck Bartowski. You're perfectly safe here with us, but you can't tell anyone about anything you see. We'll get you out as soon as it's safe to do so. Until then, hang tight."

This Chuck seemed to be frustrated with Morgan, but at least he wasn't mad at her. "Chuck" was the name of the person that originally said "pineapple." Apparently, they had some sort of bunker under the store.

"Hi, I'm Alex McHugh. I don't mean to cause trouble. Morgan's the one that ordered the fire alarm to be pulled for a non-existent fire, so I thought the safest place would be with him. I was named after my father. He was killed-in-action before I was born: Alex Coburn."

Chuck went cross-eyed and blinked rapidly several times. He shook out his head and said, "Ok. That's not what I expected. Sorry for the less than warm welcome, but you are absolutely where you should be. You made the right choice in coming here. This is probably the safest place for miles for a daughter of a Marine." He pointed down the hall. "We should catch up to the others."

That was odd. Alex never mentioned that her father was a Marine, only that he was killed. That could be said of someone in the Army or a fireman.

They all quickly went down the hallway. The group of at least half a dozen that she had seen ahead disappeared through a doorway to the side. When Alex, Morgan, and Chuck reached that door, they were stopped by the tall, blonde woman Alex had seen earlier. There really were too many tall, blonde knockouts in LA, and this was another one. She was wearing white jeans and a baby blue zip-up hoodie that had an orange logo on it. Maybe that was another store in the shopping plaza, and the bunker was for several stores.

With a cold, steady stare at Alex, the woman said, "Chuck, who did Morgan bring here? No one is supposed to know about this place." Maybe she was in trouble, after all.

Alex looked past the woman to see there were all of the other people who had evacuated this way. That's a lot of "no ones."

Chuck said, "Sarah, I don't know what Morgan was doing, but he did the right thing. This is Alex McHugh. She is named after her father, Alex Coburn."

As he was talking, Chuck had taken hold of Sarah's shoulder, which was a good thing. Something happened to Sarah, and she lost her balance. She raised her hand to Chuck to steady herself. Then, her face was filled with surprise. She looked over to the group behind her and then back. "Chuck…"

Sarah shook out her head and looked at Alex, this time with a more pleasant demeanor. "Alex, it's good to meet you. We normally don't have anyone else down here, so we weren't prepared. This room is the dojo and is big enough for everyone. It's better than a holding cell. Unfortunately, it doesn't have good places to sit. You and Morgan should try to make yourselves comfortable. We'll deal with the situation that is coming, and then you can safely be on your way."

Morgan said, "Sarah, this place is so cool! It's like you have your own Batcave, which makes sense because superheroes need lairs. I bet we're almost under the Orange Orange, aren't we?

Sarah sighed as an answer. "Morgan, do not touch the weapons racks. Chuck, I need your help with your parents."

That information meant this unorthodox escape route took Alex the same place as the Buy More Assistant Manager's family. It had to be a safe place. She still didn't know what the emergency was, though, why there was an underground dojo under an electronics store, or why there were "holding cells."

Chuck said, "I'll help. Morgan, do as Sarah said. Don't touch anything. Alex, you'll be safe here."

Chuck and Sarah were about to go out into the room to join the others when a large man in a green polo came up. He looked gruff, though his fingertips were each wrapped in band-aids. He wore a yellow Buy More name tag that said "John."

"Not only did we open this place for him, but random other people? This place is not a shelter for everyone."

Sarah spoke up quickly. "Casey, calm down. Everyone that came down here should be down here." Alex appreciated the vote of confidence. She still wasn't sure she should be there, but at least Chuck and Sarah thought she should be. Sarah continued, "Alex, this is John Casey. Casey, this is Alex McHugh, she was named after—"

Sarah stopped talking when she saw the immediate surprise on the big man's face. That was three people, Chuck, Sarah, and John, who each had a strong reaction to the mention of her name or her dad's. Maybe they knew her dad, though she didn't see how. Chuck and Sarah were too young, and John didn't even hear her dad's last name.

John made an awkward attempt at a smile. It looked like something that did not come naturally to him. "Welcome to Castle." At least he wasn't against her presence anymore. Alex came this way because she wanted to give Morgan her phone number, but now she wanted to know more.

Sarah said, "Excuse us." She took Chuck over to the others, and John followed. Alex was left alone with Morgan.

Alex asked, "Morgan, what's Castle?" They weren't in Europe, where the castles were.

"I have no idea. Last month, Sarah saved my life when I was kidnapped by a crazy lady. She denies it, but I think she is some kind of superhero with special powers. Castle must be her secret base which goes underground between the frozen yogurt shop, where she works for her secret identity, and the Buy More, where her fiancé Chuck is in charge. You met Casey. All of the other people here are family: Chuck's mom and dad, Sarah's mom and sister, Chuck sister and her fiancé.

That information made Alex positive that she had no business being there. Chuck, Sarah, John and two of the older people (likely Chuck's parents because they looked more like him than her), all left. The brunette who remained came over to greet them.

"Hi, I'm Ellie, Chuck's sister. I know a little more than you, but not that much at all. The five who left are spies and scientific geniuses. The six of us who are still in the room are the civilians. They'll let us know when it's safe to leave. Until then, I've been put in charge by my younger brother. I don't know what being in charge means because I didn't know about this place until I was coming down here a minute before you did. I know you're allowed to hear anything we do, but it's probably better not knowing. We should just stay put and wait for them to do their thing."

Spies. That explained a little. Actually, it didn't explain much of anything, other that she wasn't going to find out more. This morning, she was just getting a safety gift, and now she found herself in the middle of some kind of spy operation. Some Christmas. Alex gave her name to the other woman.

"It's good to meet you. I'm sure you feel overwhelmed, but that's no different than we feel. You two stay out of trouble, or I should say Alex, keep Morgan out of trouble. I need to go supervise my future husband before he gets ideas about having little kids when we should really be married first." She went over to the guy who looked like a male model. He was on the floor, having fun playing with the toddler. The older woman was smiling as she stood back and watched them.

Morgan quietly said, "I just met Sarah's family a few minutes ago. I know as much about them as I know about this place."

There were a couple steps around the recessed workout area in the middle. Morgan and Alex found a place to sit and talk. Alex was in over her head, but maybe she could keep her mind off of things that none of them understood and get a date with the cute guy for sometime when he wasn't wearing green and yellow.

Less than a half hour later

The evacuation to Castle was just in the nick of time. The Buy More was empty when five armed men entered. Volkoff and four of his henchmen. Fortunately, Chuck cancelled the automatic call to 9-1-1 that had been triggered by the fire alarm. The fire and police wouldn't have known what to do against men armed with machine guns.

The plan was simple—which was another way of saying Chuck had know idea how Sarah and Casey were going to pull it off. They would take care of the running and the shooting. His mom once again had a gun pointed at his fianceé. Chuck didn't like that at all. He wished it was pointed at him. She'd never shoot him …at least he assumed she wouldn't. Sarah? He wasn't so sure. His mom was taking Sarah out the front of the Orange Orange, acting as if she had captured the younger spy. Casey was using the Castle exit through the Buy More breakroom to flank Volkoff's men. He said he would not kill Volkoff, who was really his dad's friend Hartley, but you never knew with Casey.

Chuck's first job was quarterbacking from Castle. He had full control of comms and Buy More security cameras. His second job was to keep an eye on his dad, who he knew was dying to get into the Castle computer network.

It didn't take long for that second job to be a complete failure. Chuck's mom and Casey both had ear pieces, so they heard Chuck when he said, "Dad, what are you doing?!"

"I'm logging in."

"How can you even do that?"

"I have four separate accounts that I've kept active the last fifteen years: two NSA and two CIA."

Chuck mom inserted herself into the conversation as she and Sarah moved across the parking lot. "Stephen, sweetheart, it's not as bad as not bothering to tell me that our children are engaged, not as bad as not telling me that our son was kicked out of school for something he didn't do, and not as bad as not thinking it wasn't important that I know that he downloaded the Intersect not once, not twice, but three times. However, considering I've been cut off from the CIA so long, maybe you should have given me an active login I could use." From the tone, you could definitely tell she was married to him, and he was in the doghouse, maybe with Peaches III, the dog they never got.

Chuck couldn't figure out what his dad was doing, but he knew he had hacked into Castle security. A normal CIA account didn't give him access to Buy More security through the special lines they installed, so he was doing something to enter the local network. He also was remotely controlling the huge, electronic wardrobe. Chuck didn't even know that room was set up for remote access. Maybe he should figure out how to do that from the CIA device Sarah used in her car. It would save time on date-night. Sarah always complained about their small closet and having to go to Castle to dress up for a night out, and you never knew when they'd be in a hurry. With Ellie knowing about this place, she'd probably want the extra closet space, too. Heck, Morgan might want to keep shoes there.

Casey's voice came over comms. "The breakroom is clear. The man in here took a while to clear out because he grabbed a snack from the fridge." To Chuck, that was a disgusting thought because you didn't know how long any of the food had been there. "I don't know where Volkoff's other three are now. They're probably spread out, searching the store. For me to get a clear shot at several of them at once, they'll need to be pulled together into the middle of the store."

That was the goal of having Sarah play the prisoner. It wasn't the Imperial Detention Center plan, exactly. She could probably break the zip ties as easily as Chewie got out of cuffs than didn't fit. That wasn't her job, though. There wasn't a jail cell holding a prisoner. She was going to get the bad guys to come to the Nerd Herd desk so the spies could take out the group instead of having people spread out places like the cage and the car stereo installation garage, where they could take cover. The team needed a name for the plan they were executing.

Chuck's dad let out one of those quiet cheers that computer people did when the pieces from a problem fit together, then he quickly left the room. Part of Chuck thought he should go after him, but Sarah and his mom were at the front entrance of the Buy More, so he needed to remain at the main terminal in case they needed him.

When the two women entered through the sliding doors of the store, Volkoff gave a smile that was a little creepy and said, "There you are Frost, my love. When you left for Los Angeles without an explanation, I was worried. Who do you have here?"

"This is the CIA agent who crippled Fulcrum."

Volkoff clapped his hands together and his smile grew. "Marvelous." He spoke into his watch. "Get out here, you imbeciles. I found her, and she brought a Christmas gift."

The four bad guys went to the Nerd Herd desk where Volkoff, Sarah, and his mom were waiting. Chuck didn't like the idea of revealing Sarah was a CIA agent, but the plan was working so far. All the bad guys were in one place.

Volkoff said to the audience in front of him, "This is wonderful. Theodore will be very happy. He had been trying to create his own Intersect, but he was spooked by the destruction of Fulcrum's major office in the LA area. I wonder how much she's worth to him."

The screens on the Wall all came to life. Pictured on each of them, encoded in letters, was the face of a man wearing sunglasses and a Fedora. It was kind of like The Matrix, except blue instead of green. No one could control all of the TV screens on the Wall without the master remote or Castle's override control. Chuck wasn't doing that. He knew there was only one person it could be. His dad must have gone to the wardrobe room to get a disguise and from there, be sending a live video to the Buy More. That wasn't part of the plan.

Volkoff was enraged. "Orion! You're the one who destroyed the building of one of my biggest customers. I'm going to destroy you. What do you have to do with this one?" Volkoff motioned to Sarah.

Orion's voice was distorted so it sounded like it was going through a primitive voice digitizer. "She's going to be my daughter-in-law." At least that statement meant his dad realized the truth, that Chuck and Sarah were a real couple.

"You're what?!" Volkoff angrily asked, as if he could scare out a different description.

From inside the Buy More, Chuck's mom calmly said, "My husband said she's going to be our daughter-in-law."

Chuck knew that declaration had to completely confuse Volkoff. His mom just revealed Frost and Orion were married, a secret she had kept for years while undercover. The Russian weapons dealer with British accent absentmindedly turned his head to the side in shock, towards where two of his henchmen were standing, only to see them collapse to the ground. Casey had taken those two down in a second, before anyone knew what was happening. He was using the check-out counter for cover, using silenced shots from a rifle, so you wouldn't see him unless you knew where to look.

Volkoff took cover behind the Nerd Herd counter. The two other henchmen didn't know where the shots were coming from, so they tried to take cover with him. They didn't get that far before Casey shot them both, as well.

That left Volkoff without allies, except for the woman he knew as Frost, but she wasn't helping him this time. With a handgun out, he stood ready to try to intimidate his attacker. He never got that far. As he stood from his hiding place behind the counter, free of the zip-ties around her wrists, Sarah clocked him with the megaphone that had been sitting right there. He would survive, but was out cold.

"Yeah! Good guys win!" Chuck exclaimed. His team was the best.

"Son, Sarah doesn't have an earpiece. Do you want to talk to her?"

"No that's alright. I'll congratulate her later."

Casey did have an earpiece so he interrupted, "Please, don't give me the details of how you will be expressing lady feelings."

"I'm sorry, Casey," Chuck said. "You did great, too. Taking out all those people without anyone getting her. Sarah and I are—"

"Please stop so my ears don't bleed."

His mom switched her mic to vox and changed the subject. "Stephen, what were you doing? That was not part of the plan."

The scrambled head-shots of Orion were still on the TVs. Since he had turned off the voice digitizer, it was a little odd when regular voice came from the Orion images, saying, "I know it wasn't in the original plan, but I thought it would work as a distraction, and it did. It went well."

"We'll bring Hartley down in a minute. I assume Casey and Sarah have to call this in. Shut that thing off, and stop playing spy."

The screens shut off, but Chuck could still see the spies though the Buy More security feed. "Sarah, do you have a problem with Chuck not doing what you tell him to do? When I met Stephen, it was easier because he was in the lab all the time. Chuck's a field analyst, not a government scientist, so he's probably regularly pulling stunts like that. I have trouble imagining what it would be like if the man I loved was doing stuff like that all the time."

Sarah smiled and said, "It can be frustrating, but Chuck and I have figured out how to trust each other and work together. Let's go. Casey can drag this Intersect-experiment-gone-wrong downstairs. I need to check on my family. My mom has never been this close to a mission. The last time my sister was, it was over a year ago. She was in a papoose as I was shooting our way out."

"At least I know you can take care of my future grandchildren."

A/N:
Honestly, do you really think Team Intersect would let Ellie up to the Buy More to use a frying pan? With no Bryce-handoff on Black Friday, 2007, this is the first store 'pineapple.' Jeff didn't get a megaphone to the head this time, so someone had to be knocked out with one.

Unlike after Thanksgiving 2010, Volkoff didn't bring a bomb to the Buy More. He hadn't recently had several losses to the team from Southern California. He was only stalking his 'girlfriend.'

That's it for "The Intersect Couple vs Family Matters," and that's almost it for this story. The next chapter is the last. It takes place a week later in the story timeline, and won't be posted immediately.

Song:
"The Living Daylights" by A-Ha (blame Timothy Dalton)

Christmas song:
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" - not the original from Neptune's Daughter, but the 2014 version from the Idina Menzel & Michael Bublé video. That version was released a few years after this chapter takes place, but the video with little kids is fun. It fits, too. While it's not cold outside in Burbank, cold is relative, and it's warmer in Castle.