Donna's P.O.V

Gazing around my beautiful New York apartment I can't help but know that I am lucky. Lucky to be here, lucky to have lived the life that I live, but most of all lucky to have had my life turn out the way it has. By no means did I grow up dirt poor but nor did I grow up wealthy. I would put myself straight in the middle, but that has changed over the past fifteen years. I'm no longer the struggling actress trying to make it on Broadway nor am I the dirt-poor legal secretary at the District Attorneys office, I'm better than that now. I'm Donna Roberta Paulsen personal secretary to Harvey Specter. I've been Harvey's secretary for nearly fifteen years, we became 'friends' in the District Attorney's office but after one night of shared passion as lovers we moved on to become friends and work equals. Harvey knows that he couldn't be himself without me, but I'm also aware of how much I rely on Harvey too. He gets me out of tough jams where I think I've made the correct call but instead it's far from the correct way to go about things. But now after all these years I'm no longer fulfilled, I feel empty.

I don't know what exactly I feel that I am missing but I know that it's something that my body yearns for. Starting around at the modern setting of the room I can't help but picture a dog or even a cat, but deep down I know that's not what I'm missing. Frowning I turn to the coffee pot on the kitchen counter and I wonder if I'm not craving someone in my life. Shaking my head as I drink from the coffee with the splash of vanilla in it, I know I need to think this through some more. But at the same time, maybe I don't need to think it through I just need to accept it so that I can talk about it. Turning away from the kitchen I move to the bedroom to start my day with a shower and then make my way to work. Waltzing down the hallway my robe billowing behind me I step into my lavender coloured room, the modern nature makes me feel instantly at ease, but it also makes me aware of how feminine my life has become and how uninviting it must look to a man.

A rough attempt at shaking off the nagging feeling of emptiness has me moving towards the massive rain shower I had installed in my bathroom. The water pressure and combined heat from the shower instantly puts me at ease and the pressure that I feel has instantly drained from my body. A quick final rinse has me moving from the shower into my massive closet and selecting the perfect dress to start the day. Choosing a burgundy Dior dress that slips over and fits just right under my bust has me smiling at my reflection as I know that I look just right. With a final gloss of lipstick and a nod to myself in the mirror I know that I'm ready to start my day. The instant I step out of my apartment and into the hallway I know that I've timed my exit wrong. My neighbour Mrs Lix is taking her children out to school, "good morning miss Donna," the eldest one Matt states before grabbing his backpack and pushing past me. Louise Lix also steps into the hallway with her youngest two, Missy who has just started school and her baby who I'm yet to meet. "Morning Donna," Louise states, adjusting the baby on her hip and organising Missy who is still only little. I barely hear her as I'm too infatuated by the baby. My body feels warm suddenly I'm clammy, I have no idea why I'm so infatuated by her but I am. "Are you okay Donna?" Louise questions moving closer but I'm still looking at the baby. Shaking myself from my own daydreams I nod at Louise, "yes I'm fine. I didn't know you guys had three now. Who's this little cutie?" I question holding my finger out to the baby who takes it willingly and holds tight. "Oh yeah, she's about 5 months old now, her names Ana." I nod at Louise and smile before taking my finger back from the baby and bidding goodbye, very aware of the fact that I'm still tingling all over and as I climb into the back of a taxi it hits me. I want a baby.