Hello Lovelies,
Thank you so much for your patience and understanding over my busyness with work etc. I didn't mean to leave you on that cliffhanger for quite so long...
I have been very slack lately with replying to reviews, but please know that I do read and appreciate every single comment. Your support is never taken for granted.
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Much Love,
Chelsea x
"Huh? What…?"
My mouth hung open as I gawped at my mother, trying to make sense of the narrowed glare she was giving me. I slowly shook my head, bewildered by what was happening.
What the hell is happening?
"I asked what you're doing here," she repeated, huffing loudly. Her lips pursed for a moment. "You, of all people, should know by now that I don't appreciate people turning up unannounced. Especially unwelcome visitors."
The room started to pulse around me, confusion thumping through my brain.
"I don't understand," I muttered. "Mom, you invited me here."
"I did not!" she snorted.
"What?"
I took a step back and stared at her.
Had she completely forgotten our recent conversations?
"We've been messaging each other," I reminded her, hoping to jog her memory. Had she been in some kind of accident since we last spoke? Was her memory affected? "We've been texting for weeks. You asked me to come here. You said you wanted to talk face-to-face."
She shook her head, adamant.
"Are you seriously telling me you can't remember any of it?"
"I can't remember it because it didn't happen," she replied, her tone clipped and hard. She was pissed off now. "How many times do I need to repeat myself?"
I spun to face Christian, needing his input. I had no idea what to do. He shrugged his shoulders, as clueless as me, his intense gaze fleeting between me and my mother.
"I promise you we haven't spoken in a very long time," she said, reiterating her point.
"But I can prove it," I blurted. I pulled my iPhone from my purse and opened up the thread of messages we had exchanged, turning to phone to show her. "See? All of it's there."
She read the messages, her pupils becoming pinpoint as the skin around her jaw tightened. After a few seconds, she twisted to face Bob. A low growl hummed through her gritted teeth.
Bob was stood in the doorway, his head bowed towards the floor. His cheeks red, but the rest of his face ashen.
It was then that it dawned on me.
For fuck's sake -
"You did this?" I gasped, pointing my finger at him. He closed his eyes, refusing to even look at me. "You? This was all you?"
My mother huffed under her breath, cursing her frustration out loud.
Christian grunted, stepping up beside me, his arm brushing against mine. "Answer her," he ordered. The harshness of his voice seemed to jolt Bob into action, forcing him to look up nervously. "Because God help me, I'll have you squealing like a pig if you don't start explaining."
Bob gulped, eyes wide.
"I… I was only doing what I thought was best," he whispered quickly. He held up his palms in surrender. "I didn't mean any harm. I -"
"I can't believe this," I sighed, my whole weight sinking into the carpet beneath my feet. "Oh my god."
"You idiot," Mom groaned. She rolled her eyes. "You are a first-class idiot. I really lucked out with you, huh?"
"I knew you would never reply," he shrieked, seeming to visibly simmer into a mouse of himself. "I can't even mention Ana in front of you, honey, you always shoot me down straight away. I just thought –"
"That you'd impersonate me?" she scowled. "Did you seriously expect this to end well? Dumping this crap on me, after everything she's put me through?"
I bit my tongue, letting that dig slide.
"She reached out!" he said. He jumped to her side, placing his hands on her crossed arms, trying to coax her into relaxing. I knew it wouldn't work. "You said she would make the first move and she did. She messaged you."
"Why did you get the message and not her?" I asked, frowning. "How is it that you've been texting me without her knowing? It's her phone."
"Was," Mom corrected. "It was my phone. I got a new one. Bob has my old one."
My gut twisted.
"You got a new phone? When?"
"After the wedding," she shrugged. She brushed it off so easily, as if it didn't matter.
"You changed your number and didn't bother to tell me?" I asked. I threw my head back and groaned. "Typical. I shouldn't be surprised. This is you all over."
She turned her head from me.
I felt Christian's hand settle on my elbow and I closed my eyes, trying to stave off the anger rushing through me.
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Christian asked Bob. "The hurt you'll have caused with this bullshit?"
"I did this to help them!" Bob pleaded. "They need to get over all of this. It's been long enough. They need to start talking."
"You can't force them into a corner!" Christian snapped. "You can't throw them together and expect everything to be rosy. You fucking moron."
"Don't speak to him like that," my mother snarled, snapping her head towards us both. "Don't you dare. This is my home -"
"You want me to get started on you?" he arched a brow. "Because trust me, I have a barrel load of stuff to say to you too."
She looked him up and down, unimpressed.
"I see she's been feeding you lies about me," she hummed.
"Ana isn't a liar," he shot back. "The very fact you think she is one, shows how little you know your own daughter."
"I want you both to leave," she said. "I want you out of my house."
Her words spurned something inside me. Something clicked.
"No," I shook my head. "No, we're not leaving until I've said what I need to say."
She lifted her gaze to mine.
"You're not throwing me out after I've come all this way, not until I've told you exactly what I've been holding back for years," I continued. "If you don't want to talk, that's fine. But you will listen to me. I'll make sure of it."
"What's there to say that hasn't already been said?" she blustered. "You want to rake over the fact you refused to come to my wedding? That you never bothered to make the effort to come see me? That you couldn't be happy for me because you're so incredibly selfish?"
"Me? Selfish?" I snorted. "Do you even know what that word means? Do you need me to find a dictionary?"
"Don't talk down to me," she screeched. "I'm your mother."
"Shame you've never acted like one," I grunted back. "It has always been about you. You've always put yourself first, you never even thought about me."
"That's not true!"
"Come on! You expected me to drop everything to play happy families with husband number four? The latest in probably a long line of guys you'll end up marrying? I was in the middle of my finals, for god's sake. You wanted me to walk away -"
"Here we go again…" she mumbled, shaking her head.
"Unless the world revolves around you, you're not interested," I said. "You think that's the way mothers are supposed to behave? You're supposed to be selfless."
"You're not being fair with the truth, Anastasia."
Oh here we go… bringing out my full name…
"Did you come to all of my parent teacher days at school?" I asked, tilting my head to the side as I quizzed her. "Did you read my school reports, help me with my homework?"
"I was busy, but –"
"Busy screwing anything with a pulse," I snorted. "Does Bob know about your past? The fact you've never been able to keep your legs shut?"
"Slut shaming your own mother?" she shook her head, but she couldn't hide the embarrassment flooding her cheeks. "Real classy."
"I didn't care how many guys there were, what bothered me is the fact you cheated," I retorted. "The fact you were never safe. That you exposed me to that shit!"
Christian's fingers pressed deep into my arm.
"You're a user," I called out. "You use men and throw them away when you're bored. You make them splash their cash, buy you gifts, pay your rent, then you move on. You find another sucker to con."
"And?" she shrugged again. From over her shoulder, I saw Bob's eyes widen with horror. He had no idea about this side of her. "A fool and his money are soon parted. If they want to spoil me, that's their problem."
"Do you have no morals at all?" I frowned. "Do you have any clue how hard it was growing up, having your mother behave like that? Like some glorified hooker?"
Her jaw clenched.
"You need to stop," she ordered, pointing her finger.
She was warning me off, but I wasn't going to back down. Not now.
"You subjected me to things I should never have had to deal with," I continued. "I should never have walked in on you fucking some random guy in our kitchen. I should never have been around men who were sleezy and disgusting."
"Enough –"
"Do you remember that summer we went on the road trip to Phoenix? Just the two of us?" I asked. "We shared a hotel room. Our beds were practically touching and I had to lay there, pretending to be asleep while you and some guy were going at it…"
I trailed off, the memory sticking in my throat like a thorn.
"I heard what he said," I added. I looked her dead in the eye. "About me joining in? You told him I was your sister…"
"I was single," she said, trying to justify herself. "I –"
"I was sixteen!"
Bob's complexion paled in an instant, his body slumping back into the doorframe.
"Ana –" Christian spoke my name with a voice full of grit, his tension building.
"You know what your problem is?" Mom growled, closing the gap between us. "You're just bitter that I left Ray. You couldn't accept I didn't love him."
"You betrayed him," I shot back. "You broke his heart."
"He was a means to an end," she countered.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I needed someone to take you off my hands," she blurted. "Someone to support us both. He was the first sucker who came along and didn't run away as soon as he found out I had a kid."
"You were that desperate because my father died?" I snorted. "That's the only reason you got with Ray? For the money?"
"He wanted you," she replied, tersely. "He was smitten the moment he met you. I'm not ashamed that I took advantage of that."
"You married quickly because you wanted to trap him, didn't you?" I gathered. She nodded once. "You're pathetic. My father had only been dead for what, a few months before you married Ray?"
"And?"
"Did he mean so little to you?"
"I never wanted to marry Frank in the first place," she said. "I didn't love him. I didn't even like him. He was nothing more than a drunken fling without a condom."
I shook my head.
"You were a mistake," she added, callously. "When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. But Frank promised me the world. He said he'd stay with me, he'd make it work. He thought we'd be this happy little family, but then the fool went and died on me. I was stuck."
"And you couldn't even abort me because I had already been born by that point, right?" I gathered. She didn't baulk at my question. "Go on, say it. Say what I've always known. You didn't want me."
"No, I didn't," she admitted. Her voice was quiet and still, yet so very loud in my ears. "I never wanted kids."
After a beat of silence, I laughed.
"Finally," I chuckled. "The truth is out."
"Ana," Christian uttered my name. "We should –"
I held up my hand, stopping him in his tracks.
"No," I refused. "Not yet…"
As I stared my mother in the eye, I began to calm down.
My anger was fading, my resentment passing with every heartbeat.
All of it was slipping away.
"You know, I only messaged you because Ray wanted me to. It was more for his sake than mine."
She tensed at the mention of him.
"I know now that for me, this was just about closure," I said. "I had to tell you."
"Tell me what, that you hate me? Big surprise. I've always been public enemy number one to you."
"I don't hate you," I shook my head. "I feel nothing for you... Actually, no, I pity you. You have had so many opportunities that other people don't get."
Her arms tightened around her chest.
"You had a child," I added. "There are people out there who would kill to have a family of their own, people who would make incredible parents, but you didn't want aby of it. You wanted to check out of the situation and you did."
It was my turn to look her up and down again.
"I have spent so much of my life trying to be the very opposite of you and I needn't have bothered," I laughed. "Because I'm not you. I am a good person. I care about other people's feelings. I put other people first, sometimes to my own detriment."
She opened her mouth to protest but I silenced her with a flick of my hand.
"My life is great," I told her. "I have an amazing job that I love, I have friends who are there for me come rain or shine, and I've met the love of my life –"
I turned to Christian and pulled him forward, closer into my side.
"This is my fiancé, Christian," I said. "We're getting married at the end of the year. I had thought about inviting you. I think you can guess where I stand on that point now, though."
There was no surprise in her expression, no infliction or care.
"I already know about you two," she said quietly. "I saw it online, on some trashy website. Pictures of you all over each other. Very tacky."
"Jealous?" I shot back, arching a brow at her. "Because that's all you want, isn't it? Attention. You're nothing more than an attention-seeking bitch."
I glimpsed up at Christian and gave him a tight nod.
"Let's go," I whispered. "I'm done here."
Before another word could be said, we weaved past my mother and Bob and made a beeline for the exit. We tumbled out onto the drive, the fresh air a welcome relief.
My mother's footsteps followed us, her shrill voice making another appearance. A last-ditch attempt at insults.
"It'll be the biggest mistake of your life, you know," she shouted, loud and proud for all the neighbours to hear. "You'll live to regret it."
"Regret what, exactly?" I huffed, throwing my arms out as I looked back at her one last time. "Marrying the man I love or cutting you out of my life once and for all?"
"You'll be back," she taunted.
"I won't."
"You came back this time, didn't you?"
"Only to tell you that you're a disgrace," I said. "And that I hope our paths never cross again."
I climbed into the car, Christian helping me in and pushing the door shut behind me. He rushed around the other side, eager make a quick getaway.
He switched on the engine and there was a frantic rap on my window.
She wasn't giving up just yet.
I unwound the window and spoke first, refusing to accept another barrage of abuse.
"I'm done," I repeated. "With you, with this shit, with trying to fix something that can never be fixed."
"You can't erase the fact I'm your mother."
"You gave birth to me, you're not my mother," I fired back, meeting her eye. "A mother is someone who protects their child, who loves them irrevocably. Someone who will walk to the ends of the earth for their child. You're none of those things. You're just a selfish piece of shit who doesn't deserve me."
She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut in over her again.
"I don't need you, I've never needed you," I said. "I have everything I need. Everything I could possibly want."
She reached inside and grabbed my arm.
I snatched my arm away.
"Touch me again and I'll break your fingers," I seethed. "Leave me the fuck alone. Carla."
She slunk back a step and then she was gone, Christian jolting the car forward at speed, putting solid distance between me and her.
I focused on the road ahead.