Me no own Naruto.

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Konohamaru's knees went weak when Kakashi shot him a smoldering glare. His sharp grey eyes pierced into his own, stabbing through his mind and brutally maiming any of his coherent thoughts.

I'm straight I'm straight I'm straight, he chanted in his head, clinging to the mantra like a lifeline.

Even as he chanted the words into meaninglessness, in some other corner of his short-circuiting brain, he was simultaneously wondering, But what if I'm not? Am I bisexual? What if I'm Hound-sexual?

Konohamaru fumbled with the black, oddly-shaped box in his hands and he tried to remember what the hell he was supposed to be doing.

Noting his hesitation, Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him. "If you're not ready, I can leave," the man droned lazily, his perfect posture slouching and his hands drifting down to shove themselves in the pockets of his dress pants.

A crash sounded through the studio as Asuma fell out of his chair from its place in the back of the room. "N-no! We're ready!" he yelped, rushing to the other end and barricading the door with a conveniently placed broomstick.

Returning hastily to the young photographer's side, he bent down and looked into the young man's eyes, shooting desperation and anger like giant glowing laser beams out of his eyes. "I waited three hours for this late prick to get here!" he hissed at a trembling Konohamaru. "Don't." He paused menacingly. "Mess this up."

"R-right," the other male replied shakily. He eyed Kakashi, who had somehow pulled out an orange book and had buried his face into it during their exchange.

"Put. The book. Down," Asuma growled.

Raising his hands defensively, Kakashi tucked the book in one of his back pockets. "Okay, it's away," he said, slowly, as if he was comforting a small child. At Asuma's annoyed gaze, he stated, "Looks like someone's in a bad mood today."

Asuma scoffed. "That's because someone," he glared at Kakashi, "decided to show up three hours after the scheduled meeting time, forcing us to push back all our other arrangements, and then someone," his glare was redirected to a terrified Konohamaru, "miraculously forgot how to do the only job he's getting paid for." He threw up his hands and yelled, "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

Kakashi sat down and gave Asuma a pained look. "Maa, is that any way to talk to someone who's helping you?"

"You're not helping, you're getting paid too. Shut up and do your job."

Shaking his head slowly, Kakashi turned back to Konohamaru. "Such a harsh creature. He's never gonna get married at this rate. Don't grow up and be as heartless as him, yeah?"

The photographer's eyes went wide at the idol's attention. His cheeks flushed. "Uh—"

"Konohamaru don't even—"

"Can you do that thing you were doing before?" Konohamaru asked abruptly, interrupting Asuma's threat.

Kakashi smiled warmly and stood up, leaning against the studio wall with an amused half-grin on his face.

It was the complete opposite of his look from before, but Konohamaru was willing to take it. Screw the theme of the photoshoot or whatever, he'd take anything at this point. The sooner he got out of here, the better it'd be for his mental and physical health.

He raised the camera, adjusted the lens, and finally snapped a collection of pictures. He breathed out a small sigh, relieved that he wasn't going to get fired, or at least that Asuma hadn't outright said it yet. A few more poses and he'd probably never see the silver haired man again. In person, at least.

Examining the shot, Konohamaru told himself he would never understand photogenic people.

"This turned out great!" he said cheerfully, previous fear forgotten. "Try something different now," Konohamaru told Kakashi, boosted by his own confidence.

That's when Kakashi tilted his chin up and gave the photographer that condescending and arrogant look, and Konohamaru almost dropped his camera.

He spoke too soon and regretted every last one of his life decisions. He was going to get fired, then he was going to crawl into a hole and cry.

He could only hope his pathetic existence became some semblance of an honorable anime character so that he could at least live on as a positive memory.