A/N: dialogue taken from "Hostage!" and "The Hunger" (I think...I could be remembering that wrong) Also, I'd like to thank my friend Debra for her encouragement and friendship - she knew I needed to write something, and while this may not be much, it was what I needed to write this week 3

Update: the "If she needs a reason to live..." line is actually from "Quint-Cident" - thank you for pointing that out to me, FYeah! :)

Kitty's POV

"I couldn't live without him, Doc. You know that?"

Even as she said it, as she looked into her dear friend's eyes, willing him to understand her – to absolve her – echoes of a past conversation, too many years gone by, whispered at the back of her mind.

"If she needs a reason to live, she's going to have to find it herself."

Funny how even subconsciously she couldn't let herself give up that easily, even though she desperately wanted to, didn't even want to consider contemplating a reason to live without Matt.

Not funny at all, come to think of it.

Doc's POV

"I couldn't live without him, Doc. You know that?"

And as much as it broke his heart to admit it, Doc did know that. Kitty might've been the strongest goddamn woman he'd ever known, but losing Matt would be the one thing she just wouldn't come back from.

But Doc couldn't let Kitty even begin to think that way, so he held her hand – gently, so gently – and uttered paltry reassurances and begged God to give them all the outcome they so desperately needed.

A ghost of a memory suddenly rang out clear in his mind, another precious girl lying in his office and Kitty's voice – "If she needs a reason to live, she's going to have to find it herself."

Doc's breath caught in his chest, and if Kitty noticed she didn't let on. Doc didn't think she was noticing much of anything at the moment.

Kitty had found her reason to live a long time ago, it just happened to be the man on his way to confront – murder – a devil.