I've Read All of the Books Beside Your Bed

He split his time, when he was on the streets.

Days jacking tires and hubcaps, selling them to the chop-shop guys who'd take them and give him some money right back, nights at the homeless shelter or (preferably) the high school theatre rafters.

But if he'd have to give a preference – preference on how he'd like to live on the streets, Jesus Fuck – Jason preferred to split his time between the theatre and the library.

Gotham City Library was honestly a fucking godsend for Jason – open long hours, big and wide, plenty of people coming and going, and librarians that weren't going to raise any alarms about the one skinny kid with a stack of books all around him who came in and would spend whole days at a time sitting in one spot.

Sometimes he even managed to stay hidden inside the building after closing hours, and spend the whole night at the library, too. Hey, it was warm and dry, and he didn't have to worry about anyone trying anything while he slept.

But yeah – Jason just chewed his way through as many of those books as he could: histories, sciences (that he didn't always understand, because What Is Terminology), politics, philosophy, feminist lit, genre studies, fiction – scifi, westerns, fantasy, horror, he didn't even hate some of the romance novels he'd grabbed for no reason. Yeah, some weren't great (he couldn't even make himself pick up that terrible copy of 50 Shades of Grey, even for a laugh, and he'd read the whole damn Twlight series - shitty, but interesting ideas versus other vampire works), but some were pretty solid.

Look. Jason knows there're gaps in his knowledge, okay? He dropped out of school at fourteen, for fucks sake. It's kind of hard to keep up with science classes and fuckin' Home Ec. when you're a little busy trying to get money, no matter how shady the source, and not get knifed and robbed when you're asleep, either on the streets or at a shelter.

So when Bruce took him in – before Jason got made Robin – Jason'd just about lived in that fucking library in the Manor, okay? Yeah, he knows what he looks like, and how he acts, blah fucking blah. But those first few weeks, honestly, they were the safest Jason's probably ever felt in his entire life. No need to be on the streets, no looking over his should, no holding his backpack to his belly while he slept – in a fucking bed, jesus, with pillows and sheets and everything, fuck – and actual goddamn food, with actual nutrients and shit in it.

Ever eaten nothing but crap for a few days, but then eat like a fruit salad or something, and suddenly you feel great and healthy and you can feel your stomach actually approving your food choices? That was Jason, those first weeks. Fuckin' ace, man.

Yeah, here he is, lauding his ability to read so much, and he didn't know who fucking Machiavelli is. Was. Look, he'd read about Machiavellianism before – it comes up all the time in political theory, right – but that doesn't mean he quotes the fucker. Jason hadn't read goddamn The Prince, because frankly, what he'd gleaned second-hand from every fucking thing that referenced it, Machiavelli was shit political theory. Other people like it, live by it, whatever – the end may justify the means, but when you've spent your whole fucking life at the hands of people living by that standard, you don't really want to go out there quoting the fucking source. Fuck Machiavelli.

But yeah, after that whole shitshow of trying to meet the OG Robin – you know, the one kid every other fucking kid in Gotham wanted to be, to meet, to say hi, to fuck if that was your type – and Dick living up to that fucking nickname, Jason did actually go back to the Manor and read fucking Machiavelli, and you know what?

Fuck Machiavelli.

Fuck Dick too, for that matter.

Yeah, Bruce is fucking out of it, in terms of normality, but Jason isn't going to be anything but fucking grateful to the asshole, okay? He got Jason off the streets, he gave him a fucking home and food and a whole fucking library he doesn't have to worry about being kicked out of if he's still in there at 3AM; and best of fucking all, Jason's Robin. So nothing bad about that man will be said in Jason's presence, okay?

Even though it's pretty obvious that if there was going to be a Robin in Gotham, Bats would infinitely prefer the OG version. Alfred had told him not get his hopes about meeting Dick, about how he can't expect getting Dick's blessing to be Robin would make Jason feel less inadequate about living up to Robin (Jason didn't have the guts to point out to Alfred that he hadn't had any hope since he found his mother that day), because 'You don't have anything to live up to'. Pull the other one, Alfie. It's got bells on.

Jason knows he's the second option. Player 2. The one you bring out when the first option isn't around. Bruce might call him a son, but he isn't – not like Dick is. Jason's the off-brand replacement. But you know what? He's got a roof over his head, a sweet gig, a whole library he's got unrestricted access to – Bruce is inevitably gonna kick him out - likely when he realizes that Jason's the shitty knock-off Robin – and probably pick up a third, better Robin five minutes later, and Jason'll be back on Gotham's streets jacking tires and trying to find a reason not to jump off the fucking Gotham Bridge and put an end to it all – Jason's gonna enjoy this for as long as he can, okay? For as long as Jason's able to, he's gonna try to be happy. He's got plenty to be happy about right now, and yeah. Bruce isn't gonna stick around, he'll get rid of him like everyone else did.

But Jason's gonna read that first-edition copy of Pride and Prejudice that's on the shelf before he goes.

This is my attempt to reconcile Jason on Titans with Jason of the comics – because he's The Bibliophile of the Batfam, and the fact that the show doesn't seem to be trying to include this makes me sad. Sure, the theatre aspect is fun and I like it, but comics!Jason was a fucking NERD who LOVED school, and I think it would've been fun for show-Jason to have that too.