In the world of politics, Women are the most influential, In more ways than one it seems, This girl gives a whole different meaning.
Darla dimple drummed her fingers against her desk as the moonlight shone through her window, Eagerly she waited, For her allies were soon to call, Allies she had managed to procure for a very important task, Her stage life could hit the rag for all she cared, It was all done, Now… There were bigger fish to fry.
At that moment a knocking appeared at the door, Darla's large lumbering servant Max went to answer it, Darla made herself presntible and went down to the Dining room to meet her guests.
As soon as she sat down, Three figures appeared in the room, Under the supervision of Max.
"You're guests, Mrs. Dimple." Said the Giant Butler.
"Thank you Max." Darla said sweetly.
The three figures emerged from the shadows, The leading two being a pair of Elderly Scary old women, That could easily pass for evil Grandmas, One was Purple skinned and Wrinkly, Her cranky face screwed up as ever and her sagging purple dress doing her little favors, The other was plump and short, a Sadistic gleam shone in her eyes, As she seemingly march beside her ally.
"You better have a good reason of Summoning us in the middle of the night girl." Snarled the taller woman.
"Oh hush Yzma." Scoffed the Plump Woman, Stroking back her grayish white short hair. "The little one wants our services and did say it would be worth our while."
"A little debatable if you ask me." Yzma sneered quietly.
Darla cleared her throat. "If you two are quit finished, I would like to divulge the reason you are here."
"Because you want to donations for girl scouts and didn't want to bother handing out cookies?" Asked Yzma.
Darla's eye twitched. "No, I called you both here in regards to a certain someone, I'm sure everyone knows, And no, Not Lord Jargafar."
The plump witch giggled. "Oh let me guess deary, Could it be a certain Queen?"
Darla smiled. "Yes, A queen, I guess you could say it's… THAT GODDAMN BITCH QUEEN OF HEARTS!"
Darla's screem almost rocked the House, Startling the third Person, A muscular built man named Kronk.
"Oh her?" Asked Yzma. "Totally with you on that one."
"She thinks she's such hot shit, Just because she likes cutting off heads." Scoffed Madam Mim. (I couldn't wait for someone else to reveal her name.)
"I know, Right?" Seethed Darla. "You won't even believe what that Dumb bimbo did to me!"
"Uh Threaten to cut off your head?" Asked Kronk.
"Yeah that, And…" Darla took a deep agitated Breath."She… Insulted… My Talent…"
"Your talent?" Asked Yzma.
"YES! She said I was-" She pulled out a piece of paper. "Like some five year old Prostitute trying to prove something to his dad!"
"WOAH!" Gasped Yzma.
"Seriously?" Asked Mim.
"Yes, And now it's time to make her pay." Said Darla throwing the paper aside and sitting back down in her chair.
"And where do we come in?" Asked Yzma.
"I can't take her on myself, Max is excellent Muscle, But I need more magic on my side, If I'm to take on Wonderlands Zaniness, I need magic to counteract whatever I encounter?"
"Uh-What exactly are you suggesting?" asked Kronk.
Darla smirked evilly. "Oh You'll see… You'll see…
Later.
The white rabbit hurried up the Podium to take his Position, He reached the top and caught his breath before blowing his Trumpet.
White Rabbit: Court is now In session! Your Majesty, Members of the Jury, Loyal subjects!
A wand tapped the white Rabbits shoulder.
White Rabbit: (Sigh) And the king.
The small man dipped his Crown.
White Rabbit: The prisoner at the bar is charged with Teasing tormenting and Pissing off the Queen.
Alice: I'm on trial for that? But why?
Queen of Hearts: You know why! You made me lose my Temper there's no Doubt about it, And the reason is… Because I say so that's why!
Alice: That is Completely unfair!
Queen of Hearts: ALL WA- What happened to the Narration?
I got lazy!
Queen of Hearts: Well start using them again!
Okay! Fine!
The Queen smirked in anticipation. "Now than, Are you ready for your sentence my Dear?" She asked Slyly.
"Sentence? But there must be a verdict first." Protested Alice.
:Sentence First!" Insisted the Queen, Slamming her fist to the Stand. "Verdict after, And now… OFF WITH HER HEAD! And now the Witnesses."
"First witness, First Witness." Called the King of Hearts.
"The Mar-" Called the White Rabbit "Wait a minute that's not the March Hare."
Indeed it was not, In place of the March Hare was Yzma.
"Uh, Where's the March Hare?" Asked the King of Hearts!
Meanwhile.
Banzai: So Little long ear went hippity hoppity all the way to the Bunny Boiler!
March Hare: But I'm not a BUNNNNYYYYYY!
Meanwhile.
"In Hell." Answered Yzma.
"Uh, Okay… Jury right that down." Said the Queen of Hearts.
And so the Jury did.
"Next witness! Next witness!" Called the King.
"The Door-"
Before the white Rabbit could finish, Madam Mim poofed out in a cloud of smoke.
"Hehehehehehe! Hello, I hope I'm not uninvited, Your majesty."
"What?!" Exclaimed the Queen. "W-what happened to the door mouse?!"
"Oh someplace fun." Said Mim.
Meanwhile.
"Twinkle Twinkle little bet-"
"What does that evan mean!?" Asked Wortmore.
"How I wonder what your at."
"We don't understand you!" Said Uglamore.
Meanwhile.
"Someplace special…" Murmured the Queen of Hearts. "That's the most important evidence, WRITE IT DOWN."
The Jury did so.
"What the Heck is going on here?" Wondered Alice.
"Uh… The Mad Hatter?" Asked the White Rabbit.
No one came up this time.
"Mad Hatter?"
Again no one came forth.
"Oh for the love of… What happened to him?!" Asked the Queen.
"She should be up to the standby now." Whispered Yzma.
"Patience Deary, Patience." Cautioned Mim.
Suddenly, The lights went out abruptly.
"WHAT the- What is the?!
"I wouldn't want to talk yet if I were you."
Suddenly the Lights came back on and sitting on the Edge of Alice's Stand, Was Darla Dimple.
"YOU!" Screamed the Queen.
"Hi ya." Smirked Darla.
"I thoguht I told you to Fuck off!"
"Yeah you did." Said Darla looking at her nails. "But I kinda felt the urge to come back."
"With Friends." Said Mim, As she and Yzma stood beside her.
"Your with her!?" Shrieked the Queen. "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"
The guards stepped forward to Apprehend them, But Yzma pulled out some vivals and lobbed them, Crashing into the Guards coming near them and turning them into Animals, Mim turned into a Pink Tiger and lunged at the guards, Ripping them to bits with her Claws, Darla hopped off the Podeum and strolled over to the Queen.
"You know Queenie." She said as the Carnage continued. "I still remember what you said, That I was "Washed up or Something," That I was "unsuitable to your liking." Well how do you like me now Bitch?"
The Queen was at a loss for words. "I… I…"
"What's wrong?" Asked Darla. "Angel got your tongue? So sorry about that, You'll have to take it up with my Muscle, MAAXXX!"
On que, max burst in and Strode to where Darla was, The Queen cowered in her Stand and used her Husband as a Shield.
"Yes, Miss Dimple?"
"Take out the Trash."
Max leaned down and Picked up the King first, Taking him in his Fingers and Squeezing him until he popped to death, Than he Picked up the Horrified Queen next and lobbed her right out of the Courtroom, She crashed through the Roof and sailed off to parts unknown.
Darla stared out triumphantly.
"And now." She Announced. "You may bow to your new queen."
The white Rabbit took a few minutes to Process what had just happened, Than with a great below he called. "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"
The Call was taken up by all spectators save Alice, They bowed and knelt in Acknowledgement of their new queen.
"Uh… What just happened?" Asked Alice.
Later.
Before Alice knew it, She wasn't in Wonderland anymore, She was in Prison, With the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and Dormouse.
"Let me guess? Miss Dimple sends her regards?" Asked a voice.
The four turned around and saw an Orange cat in the Opposite cell next to them.
"She can kiss my ass the bitch." Said Danny. "Her and the Dark lord both."
Meanwhile.
"It appears we have our first royal visitor dear." Said Mim.
A small Goblin Hobbled into Darla's new throne room.
"Your new Majesty, My king has heard of your Triumph." Said Creeper.
The End.