Shoutout to teatat, whose 'Beach Bashes and Banter' made me think about why Mr Bennet would name his kids after a book, and this scene popped right into my head. The characters and storyline are otherwise different to teatat's work. Go read BBB too... but first please read and review! This is my first Pride and Prejudice fic, snd its unbeta-ed, so be gentle but corrections and constructive criticism welcomed. If there is interest, I'll continue the story.

xXx

What's in a name?

John Radcliffe Hospital Maternity Ward, Oxford
September 1983

Thom wasn't much for putting himself out, but he had to say something to the man opposite him. He was fairly sure having your head in your hands wasn't a good sign. Thom had been staring at him long enough that he could identify nearly every strand of grey in the dark curls, but the man still hadn't looked up. Not to mention the muttering was driving him mad.

"Is everything all right?"

The curls lifted to reveal red rimmed eyes. Oh shit, thought Thom, maybe I shouldn't have asked.

"Sorry", said the stranger, "I'm just exhausted. I haven't slept for days. I feel a bit of a prick saying it, I know my wife wasn't exactly having a picnic in there, but I was in surgery before her labour started and god could I do with a sleep."

Thom laughed in relief. Taking the piss out of wives he could do!

"Hiding out, are you? The wife wanted me to come in with her but I wasn't having that. If my dad could be at the pub when I was born, Fi should be chuffed I made it to the waiting room!"

"No, I went in. I wish I hadn't really. It was terrifying. I thought it'd be alright, being a doctor myself, but it's different when it's your wife. I was so shocked by it all I even agreed to Anne's stupid idea for the name."

"Oh?" Thom leaned forward eagerly. That explained the muttering. He loved a good bit of stupidity.

"Fitzwilliam"

Thom quirked an eyebrow. "The surname? Is it a family name or something? Bit formal these days, but he could go by William." That sounded a bit too helpful for Thom, so he added "Or Wills, I hear it's favoured by the royal family."

"Ha", grunted curly top, "that's not the worst of it. Maybe I should introduce myself." He stuck out his hand. "Peter Darcy at your service."

Thom shook the hand and smirked. "Mr Bennet at yours. But you can call me Thom. Your boy will be my son-in-law after all."

"Bugger off! Are you serious? Are you telling me you named your daughter Elizabeth Bennet? I thought my wife was the only Austen nutter and I've found another one in the waiting room!"

Thom couldn't hold back his chuckles. "Don't worry Darcy, I'm only winding you up! I don't even have a daughter yet. And the wife is positive ours is a boy too. But Elizabeth was the second child after all, so you never know!"

Peter grinned wryly. "Don't be a git, Bennet. I've just fathered bloody Fitzwilliam Darcy and I don't have a Pemberley to pass on. Have a little sympathy, will you?"

They both started laughing at that. The slightly hysterical kind of laughter brought on by the potent mix of boredom, anxiety, and sleep deprivation common to this particular waiting room. The ward sister came round the corner and told them to keep it down.

"Oh dear. Now we're in trouble with Matron!", sniggered Thom, "You are having a bad night!"

"Come on then, tell me how your wife became so keen on Pride and Prejudice."

"Well she always was. Loved it since she was a girl. She loves all Austen's books actually. She is doing her thesis on Regency literature, so her head has been full of Austen character names throughout the pregnancy. I tease her that she only married me for my surname. Now she's making me worry I'm right!"

Thom raised his eyebrow. Darcy must be a good decade older than him and his wife was still at university? Maybe she was a doctoral student. Regardless, this conversation was turning out to be very entertaining. "Shame she isn't called Elizabeth herself" he mused. Of course not, that would be far too funny to happen in real life.

"Her name is Anne."

"Yes, you mentioned that. Is that relevant? I'm afraid my literary knowledge has reached its limit."

"Lady Anne Darcy is Fitzwilliam Darcy's mother in the book."

He was wrong. The story could get better, and it most definitely had. "I'd keep the names quiet if I were you, Darcy. This is the kind of thing the papers would love!" Peter just groaned.

The sister reappeared. "Mr Bennet? Congratulations, you have a daughter. Your wife is ready for you to see now."

"Thank you, Sister." Thom smirked at Peter once more. "Maybe I will have a Lizzy Bennet after all."

"Don't do it man! It's not as funny as it sounds when it's your child." Peter was completely in earnest.

Thom smiled again "Darcy, it's been a pleasure. Good luck to you."

"You too Bennet." Peter's head was already back in his hands as Thom turned the corner.

-x-

"Fi, my darling, where's our little bundle of joy?"

Fi's smile was tired but radiant. "Oh Thom, she's so beautiful. I know I wanted a boy, but I can't imagine anything better than this little love. I only wonder what we can call her. All our names are useless now!"

'"I might have an idea"

"Hmm. I don't trust the look in your eye, Thomas Bennet. You mean some mischief!"

Thom laughed and told her the story of Fitzwillam's name. Fiona's eyes lit up at the mention of Darcy being a doctor.

"Ooh. I do like the idea of calling her after a book character. It's very classy. And if a surgeon can do it, then it's certainly good enough for the Bennets! And wouldn't it be a lovely story at their wedding?"

Thom rolled his eyes. Fi and her snobbery about doctors! As if she hadn't grown up in Blackbird Leys. Darcy was right, it wasn't as funny with your own child. "Alright love, maybe we should take her home before we marry her off. And there's a little problem, before you get too enthusiastic. Everyone knows the first Bennet daughter was Jane, so you can't name her Elizabeth."

"Oh yes," breathed Fiona excitedly, "I remember now! It was on the telly a few years ago." Of course she hadn't read it. Thom loved his wife but he did wish she was more interested in educating herself. "Jane marries someone rich and then her husband introduces Darcy to Lizzy!"

Thom didn't bother to correct that, she was close enough. He just looked at her.

"Well then," she declared, "she must be called Jane. And the next one will be Elizabeth."

"I don't like it"

"It was your idea in the first place! And Jane was my mother's middle name. We could add Gladys to it. I don't like Gladys for a first, but as a middle name it'd be ok and your mum would be chuffed to bits..." she wheedled

Thom sighed

"Or you can think of a name yourself?" They both knew that wouldn't happen.

"Fine. We'll call her Jane!" he agreed exasperatedly.

"Thank you, love." Fiona said with a kiss. "Jane Gladys Bennet" They both stared down at their daughter, Thom was starting to smile at her scrunched up little face when Fi chipped in with "and the next one will be Elizabeth."

"Fi!" Thom groaned. She looked at him, all innocence. He paused to think about it. He could never win with Fi, she could argue for Britain. And they only had the one baby to name right now. It would be ages before the next one, she'd probably forget. He liked a quiet life. Plus, the next one might be a boy. So he looked back down at Jane "She's beautiful isn't she? Well done love." Fiona's answering smile was a little smug, but he ignored it.

xXx

Headington, Oxford
2000

Thom Bennet ignored a lot of things it didn't suit him to deal with. Which is why his second daughter was born less than a year after the first, in August 1984. And how his wife managed to sneak Elizabeth onto her birth certificate. He tried to rebel by calling her Lizzy, but Mr Bennet did that in the book too. So he gave in to his wife and his amusement, and, as he often did, made it all into a big joke. He renamed the cat Kitty and, when they got a dog she was named Lydia. The Bennet's third and last child, Thomas Jr, even had the middle name Mariam. Fiona liked to boast about Thom teaching Classics so she agreed to his suggestion of a biblical Greek name without question. She didn't realise it meant Mary until Thomas was in prep school.

-x-

Over the years Thom had spotted Peter Darcy around a handful of times, but they didn't really mix in the same circles. The memory of Jane's birthday made him smile, but he didn't pay much attention to the Darcys until the mid 90s. A headline on the newspaper board outside his local shop told him Peter and Anne had been killed in a car crash. They left behind two young children. After that, Thom didn't like to think about Darcy any more. It wouldn't be long, however, until the family intruded on his life once again.