A/N: This is a continuation of 7x10, with more Upstead angst, and I think the ending all of us wanted. Also, if you want to really indulge yourself in all of the Upstead feels, listen to the song 'Look After You' by The Fray, which I used to help write this fic. I don't own anything.
—
"Jay! Jay, are you okay?" Hailey said as she walked quickly to her partner, gun still in her hand, she needed to clear the scene, but right now, what mattered was Jay. She gripped his shoulder, to bring him out of whatever state he was in. She knew a comforting hand on him could always bring him back to reality. "Jay! Hey, are you okay?" She said once again as he looked up at her. It was then she could see just how badly he was injured. His left eye was swollen shut, he had dry blood around his face and on his shirt, and he was kneeling over a guy he just stabbed. Jay couldn't respond with any words, they just shared a look.
"I've got to go help Angela, she's downstairs." He said as he held on to the pole to help him get up. He was still able to work and function properly, so that was a good sign, Hailey, though. Hailey stayed kneeling down, as Jay walked away she was hoping he was in the right frame of mind, and okay. Jay told her to stay there as he made his way down the steps. Even though Angela knew he was a cop, he wanted to keep her away from anyone else right now. Hailey watched him walk down the stairs, hunched over, and called over her radio.
"5021 Henry, we've got an offender down, and an officer injured. Roll two ambulances to 3900 S. Emerald."
About 10 seconds later she heard a gunshot coming from the floor beneath her. She shot her head up from the injured offender next to her. She heard footsteps run up behind her and knew it was Ruzek and Burgess.
"Go, go we've got him." Burgess yelled, telling Hailey to go and check out the below floor. She bolted from her kneeling position and ran down the stairs, making sure not to trip and fall. She made it to the bottom step to see Jay laying on the ground right there, gasping for air. She examined the scene to see Angela tied up across the room and there was a bullet in Jay's chest. In a split second her fight or flight instincts kicked in and she dropped to her knees to apply pressure to Jay's bullet wound.
"Jay, stay with me. Stay with me jay." She said as he continued to cost, and gasp for air. She was so focused on him that she doesn't even realize Voight, Ruzek, and Burgess are all in there with her, along with some paramedics. The paramedics surrounded Jay, and start working on him, while Hailey is still by his side. She could feel tears forming in her eyes, and blinked them away, now was not the time for her to lose it.
"His vitals are dropping, he's losing to much blood." Hailey informed the paramedics - as if they didn't already know and Voight who was right behind her. He was calling out orders, making sure the scene was taken care of, and it would be a smooth ride to Med. Hailey watched as they moved to Jay to a backboard, and placed an oxygen mask on him, as they lifted Jay and the backboard onto the gurney, Hailey never once let go of his hand. She gripped it as if she was holding onto dear life herself. As they busted out the door of the warehouse, Hailey let go of Jay's hand, and the wires on his chest, to help the gurney down from the step. Finally, they were at the backdoor of the ambulance, where more help was waiting. They were preparing to get him into the ambulance when Hailey rushed around to the other side of Jay.
"I'm going with him." Hailey was careful not to touch Voight's arm with her bloody hands. She stepped into the ambulance and sat across from the paramedic on the left side of Jay. They left the warehouse within seconds, en route to Med. To say Hailey was scared was an understatement, she was terrified. She couldn't lose another partner, it wasn't going to happen. Not today.
The ride to Med seemed like it took hours, Hailey was trying to remain calm sitting next to Jay, who had lost consciousness, but the bleeding had stopped, momentarily. She was holding his hand tightly, trying to keep her composure and not breakdown. After his heart rate had spiked up, to a dangerous level, and he lost consciousness, her hope in him surviving this wound was fading slightly. He was still breathing, not by much, but that was the one thing that was getting her through this. Seeing him fill that bag with oxygen, even if it was a minuscule of oxygen it was enough for her right now.
She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard the paramedic in the front call out, they were at Med finally. The rig doors were open to see Dr. Marcel and nurses waiting for them. Voight had called in an officer down detail to Med, and dispatch had called ahead to Med to let them know Jay and Hailey were on their way. They entered the doors through the ED, Hailey was not next to Jay anymore, she had let the medical professionals take over, she looked ahead to see Will standing at the doors, confused and shocked. Hailey stops in her tracks next to Will, and she watched them wheel Jay out of her sight. Hailey looked down at her hands, which were covered in Jay's blood.
"Hailey, what happened." Will said looking down at Hailey.
"Uh…Jay was shot…he's lost a lot of blood." Hailey said as she broke eye contact with Will, feeling vulnerable but trying to keep it together.
"C'mon let's get you cleaned up, I'll make sure to check in on him."
"No, I gotta go update the team." Hailey said as she nodded at Will and walked away.
"Hailey, how is he?" Voight asked
"They stabilized the bleed in the ambulance, he lost consciousness but was still stable. He was rushed to surgery with Dr. Marcel, Will's going to keep us updated." Hailey reported as she took a seat.
She was still, racking her brain of moments with Jay. When they were in the truck, on a stakeout, just the two of them hanging out, even what she could've done to prevent this from happening. She needed to think of anything, their undeniable bond, any happy thoughts to take her mind off of him in surgery, clinging to life. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Rojas sit down next to her.
"Here you go." Rojas said as she handed her friend and roommate a coffee. Hailey took the hot beverage with a thankful nod. No other words were said between them. There wasn't a need for any words. Just when Hailey was trying to focus on previous interactions with Jay, Will appeared at the ED bay doors. Hailey felt her heart plummet to her stomach as she stood up and rushed over too Will. She wanted so badly to ask how Jay was doing, but she couldn't bring herself to form any words, instead she just looked at Will with despair and vulnerability in her eyes. Will himself could barely talk. While everyone in the unit was close with Jay, Hailey was especially close with Jay, she felt a strong connection to him, over her time as partners with Jay, she had gotten to know Will better. She heard stories of Will and hung out with him and Natalie on the occasional weekends Jay and Will would have off together. She felt a connection with Will, and knew what was going to come out of Will's mouth wasn't going to be easy for him.
"Hey everybody, just talked to Dr. Marcel. He said the bullet grazed an artery. They're still trying to repair it." Will couldn't get out much more than that. His description was brief and didn't give any clear answers.
"Will? Is he gonna be okay?" Voight asked, Hailey was grateful Voight asked that, because quite frankly at this moment she couldn't speak.
"He's lost a lot of blood." Will and Hailey's eyes met for the first time since she walked into the hospital and she could see the hope slipping from his eyes too.
Hailey wanted so badly to go in there and rip Angela's head off, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the waiting room and risk missing an update on Jay. She also knew deep down if she wanted to keep her job she shouldn't go into Angela's room.
—
The rest of the team was called away to work on a case they just caught, and Hailey insisted on staying at the hospital. Voight didn't hesitate to stop her, someone needed to stay there to inform the team of any updates, and everyone, even Voight knew it should be Hailey.
It had been two hours since Jay was first brought in and whisked off to surgery and an hour and a half since the team left her. Hailey was still sitting in the same chair in the waiting room with other police officers surrounding her. She had been a mess of emotions, letting a few tears slip in her hands, she had used the restroom to reluctantly wash the blood off of Jay's hands, but knew it was the right thing to do. While she was in the bathroom alone, she splashed water onto her face to calm her down, she was feeling anxious about not getting any updates and not knowing Jay's outcome. Every time someone would walk by her, her heart would start to race a little, no matter who it was. She looked up to see Vanessa walking towards her, with a bag in her hand.
"Hey."
"Hey, how are you?"
"I'm alright."
"Yeah? I got you some gyro from Greek Islands. I thought you might be hungry."
"That's really sweet of you, thanks." Hailey said as she took the bag, containing some of her favorite comfort food.
"And I got you some clean clothes from the apartment." Vanessa said as she handed her the duffel bag.
"Thank you."
"Have we heard anything about Jay?" Rojas said as she sat down next to Hailey.
"No." Hailey said looking at her friend and nodding. They broke eye contact, and Hailey continued to look forward, just like she had done for the last two hours. "He's gonna freak out when he wakes up. The man hates needles." Hailey said as a small smile crept along her face. "I can't figure him out. He's the first one through the door, a war vet. And he'd rather take a bullet than get the flu shot." She said as she scoffed and that small smile was back. She couldn't get over her partner's fear of needles, but his need to take care of others and put himself in harm's way to make sure everyone else was taken care of
"Hailey, I know how hard this must be for you." Rojas said, trying to provide some comfort to the blonde next to her.
"It's always hard when something like this happens."
"It's hard because you love him." Rojas said seriously as she looked at Hailey. After living with Hailey for four months, she had seen the effect Jay had on Hailey, after a hard day they'd grab drinks after shift and talk, he'd bring food over and they would hang out on a Saturday off. He was there for her when Cameron was shot and killed, she was there for him when Marcus West was killed in prison. Vanessa could see the connection between Hailey and Jay and it didn't take long for her to figure out, Hailey had feelings for Jay.
Hailey took a minute before she responded. Taking her eyes off of Vanessa, and looking past her, sharing a small but quick smile. "Of course I love him. He's my partner." Just then their phones buzzed, and Hailey couldn't be more relieved.
"Ruzek got a lead on the home invasion."
"Yeah, uh, I'm gonna stay." Hailey said with a reassuring smile appearing across her face. Seeing Vanessa brightened up her day just a bit, now she was just hoping she could get an update on Jay, hopefully, a good one.
"Okay."
"Okay, thanks." Once again, she was left on her own. She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her hands along the top of her head. She couldn't believe Vanessa basically just called her out on her feelings for Jay. Were they really that obvious? As she continued to think about Jay, and how she felt about him, she felt a knot forming in her throat, and could feel herself on the brink of shedding tears again. She had dealt with her feelings for him for so long already, it was time to tell him. She needed to tell Jay how she felt, she just hoped she would get that chance.
—
Hailey didn't know how much longer she had been sitting in the chair, but she looked up to see Will standing before her. She quickly stood up, she had been waiting for an update for what seemed like forever.
"He's out of surgery, he's okay but has a long road ahead of him. The anesthesia is wearing off now, you'll be able to see him soon.
"Thanks, Will." Hailey said with a nod, as she made her way to the bathroom again to freshen up. She didn't spend long in the bathroom, as she wanted to give Platt a call so she could inform the team about Jay, and grab something to eat from the cafeteria before she saw Jay.
45 minutes later, Jay was out of the anesthesia and was ready for the company of others. Hailey texted Voight that Jay was awake and made her way into Jay's room. She was happy to see him sitting up in his bed, alive and on the mend.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I was asleep for a year."
"You needed a little rest." Hailey said jokingly as she chuckled.
"Hailey?" Jay asked in a serious tone, as Hailey returned with an inquisitive look. "You know I hate hospitals."
"I do." Hailey chuckled again, she was anxiously awaiting what was going to come out of his mouth next. She missed their banter, even when Jay was completely serious, she was still trying to poke fun at him and mess with him a little.
"You got to get me out of here." Jay said in all seriousness.
"It's not optional, no." Hailey replied as she leaned on her partner's bed railing, smiling at him. Voight walked in, just as they finished their short conversation.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"How's the shoulder?"
"It feels like I'll be flying a little crooked for a while."
"I went and talked to Will, and he said no structural damage, so you got lucky."
"I guess you could call it that. How's Angela doing?" Jay asked, not giving it a second thought that he just took a bullet and nearly died. He wanted to check on her, the woman she was helping.
"She's under arrest."
"Sarge, is there anything we can do for her?" Jay said after he looked at Hailey. Hailey knew his heart was in the right place, but selfishly she wanted him to focus on himself and getting better at this moment. Hailey was always impressed by his heart and how much he cared for others. He'd sacrifice himself before letting anyone get hurt, and to be honest, that was one of the things she loved the most about him, but it also scared her to death.
"Jay, she tried to kill you. Okay, she's getting charged. Full freight."
"She knows the truth." Jay wasn't settling with Voight's answer, he wanted to do right by Angela and the West family, after all, he did send Marcus to prison, and wrongfully convict him. "And what happened to Marcus, that's on us."
"Just worry about getting better, that's all, okay?" Voight said once the conversation was cut off when a doctor walked in to run some more tests on Jay.
Hailey and Voight walked out of the room, Hailey heard her phone buzzed as Voight started talking. Hailey agreed with Jay and opted to take care of it. Voight instructed Hailey to take point with the team on their next mission, while Voight went to talk to Angela.
—
Hailey went to work with the team, she tried to put her feelings about Jay aside, but she felt a hundred times better leaving her partner, knowing that he was alive and awake. She met the team at the address Burgess had, and they were ready to put an end to this case. They got into position to bust into the house, Hailey took the back entry, while Kim went to the other duplex and made sure everyone stayed safe, and Vanessa, Adam, and Kevin went in the front entry point.
As Kevin, Adam, and Vanessa entered, they took cover when the gunman came in with a machine gun, Hailey came in the back and took one shot at the gunman taking him down instantly.
They went back to the district with a suspect in tow, they were ready to tie this case off. Especially Hailey so she could go back to Jay and take him home. Unfortunately, there was more the case wasn't closed just yet, they still had some work to do.
—
Will still had a few hours to go on his shift, and Jay was being discharged. Hailey offered to take Jay home and get him situated in his apartment. Hailey walked into Jay's hospital room, to see him working with the sling on his shoulder, adjusting it so he could attempt to function in it.
"Hey." Hailey said with a smile on her face, as Jay's eyes met hers.
"Hey."
"Got your badge, and undercover phone from before."
"Before it all went to hell?"
"Yeah." Hailey said with a small chuckle. "Here, let me give you a hand." Hailey said walking over to Jay and helping him pull his coat over his shoulder with the sling on. Jay groaned in pain as Hailey fixed the jacket on him. "Listen, um when you were in surgery, no one knew what was going to happen. And it made me realize that I wanted to tell you something." Hailey said as she looked at Jay. She paused for a moment, she was really going to tell him how she felt. Nervous was an understatement for her, but she had a feeling Jay felt the same way, and either way this went, she knew it was better if her feelings were out in the open.
"Okay." Jay said with a slight hesitation, he had an inkling of what she had to tell him though.
When they heard Jay's undercover phone ringing, their eye contact was broken as Jay made his way over to the bed to check the phone. Hailey looked over at him, with nervousness in her eyes.
"It's Bobby. It's Angela's son."
"What are you doing?"
"I want to make sure he's okay." Jay responded he had grown close to the little boy, helping him with his baseball practice, hanging out with him from time to time.
"Jay, he's with his mom, he's okay. You just caught a bullet for this. You gotta let this one go." Hailey said as Jay looked at her with acceptance in his eyes. "Just let it go."
"All right." Jay replied as he nodded, taking what she was saying to heart. He knew he needed to let this one go, there was nothing left he could do. "What were you going to say?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and hope in his eyes, he really wanted to hear what his partner had to say, he had a feeling it might be good.
Hailey took a minute before she responded, looking at Jay with hesitation. She wasn't sure if it was the right time now to confess her feelings for him. She decided not to tell him, this wasn't the right place or time for it.
"Never mind, I'm gonna pull the car around. I'll meet you out front." Hailey said as she walked away, with a disheartened look in her eyes and tone in her voice.
Jay watched her leave and felt a wave of sadness rush over him. He wanted to hear what Hailey had to say, he was also thankful she was there for him, to stop him from making another bad decision, and keeping him grounded.
—
It seemed like a long drive back to Jay's apartment, especially for Hailey, who had that awkward moment in the hospital, she so badly wanted to bring it back up but she wasn't sure how. She thought she might wait and see if Jay would bring it back up, but at this point, she wasn't sure if he would.
"Gosh, I'm so hungry, hospital food is not great. I don't know what Will sees in it." Jay groaned from the passenger seat, as his stomach growled. "Plus, I've gotta eat something before I can take my pain meds."
"Why don't we go through the Portillos drive-thru. I'll treat you to a burger after everything you've been through." Hailey said jokingly.
"That's so kind of you." Jay responded back in a sassy tone with a smile, that was their thing. With that, they ordered their food and headed to their final destination.
They had gotten back to Jay's apartment, Hailey set his stuff down, and helped him take his jacket off. They sat down on his couch and indulged in their lunch, engaging in small talk and throwing jokes to each other. An hour had passed, and Hailey was still at Jay's, they were just enjoying the day together.
"Hailey, thanks for bringing me home. You know, I won't be able to drive, until I get this sling off. I'm on desk duty on Monday, will you be able to pick me up on your way to work?"
"Sure Jay, it'll be no problem." Hailey said as a small smile crept across her face. They would occasionally ride to work together, but it wasn't as often as she would like.
Jay carefully sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, Hailey sat down next to him and handed him a beer. He flipped through the channels to find nothing was on and decided to try Netflix. They were currently binging the Office for the fiftieth time before Jay turned it on he decided he clarify something.
"Hailey you said earlier, you had something to tell me. What was it?" Jay said as he looked over to Hailey.
"Jay…when I found you my heart sank, I couldn't risk losing you, losing another partner. When you were in surgery, and Will came out to tell us the bullet grazed your artery. For a few hours, none of us knew what was happening with you. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you how I felt. Then when you were out of surgery, I decided I would tell you but then you had the phone call from Bobby."
"That I didn't answer. Hailey, what are you feeling? You can tell me." Jay looked at her as he gently shifted on the couch.
"Jay, I don't think-" Hailey was cut off.
"Hailey, we both know you want to tell me what you're feeling. It's not going to change how we view each other, it's not going to change anything between us. We'll still be partners and friends, our friendship is stronger than anything."
"Jay, I love you. I have for a while, and when I found you on the basement floor bleeding out. It took everything in me to not breakdown." Hailey said as her eyes met Jay's. "I wasn't sure if I could ever get into another relationship with a partner of mine. After losing Garrett, and almost losing you a few times, I just-"
"Hailey."
"But Jay-" Hailey started as she was cut off again.
"Hailey." Jay said as he leaned in and pressed a sweet yet passionate kiss to her lips. His lips lingered on hers for a few minutes, until he pulled away. She was completely flustered, thrown off guard by the recent action.
"Wow." Hailey said as she looked at him with wide eyes, and suddenly looked down, she didn't want to get caught up in the moment. She knew they shouldn't have done that. "Jay, we shouldn't. We work together."
"Hailey, listen." Jay said as he looked at Hailey with nothing but lust in his eyes. "Hail, I love you too, I have since you helped me out with the whole Camila thing. Actually, if I'm being honest, from the first moment we met in that credit union, you blew me away. With your attitude and confidence, you walked in like you owned the place. There was just something about you. My feelings for you have grown over time."
"Jay, we've had a lot of great moments over the years, we have a great time together, we trust each other and would follow each other anywhere. But, this could really affect our jobs. I mean one of us would have to leave the unit if we wanted to make this work."
"Hailey, I want this. I've never wanted anything more in my life than I do right now. I want us to be together."
"Jay, I want this too, I have for a while. But—" Hailey said as she was cut off by Jay's lips on hers.
"Hailey, we'll figure it out. Whatever it takes, we'll make it work." Jay said, and Hailey nodded. Jay pressed play on the remote and they watched the Office. Every now and then they would sneak quick glances at each other, and once in awhile lock eyes. There was no denying there were an unspoken bond and love between these two. Heck, everyone in the unit could see it, even Sargent Platt, and she didn't spend every hour of their workday with them. They finished one season and were well into another season of the show. After the last few days, they just needed some laughs and that's exactly what the Netflix show provided them. Before Jay knew it, it was dark outside, and Hailey's head had fallen onto Jay's good shoulder. He looked down at her asleep on him and smiled.
"I love you, Hailey Anne Upton." Jay whispered as he wrapped his right arm around her and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. This is what he had been wanting and dreaming about for the last few months. He didn't have the heart to wake her up, after all, she needed sleep, so he paused the show and closed his eyes. They'd figure out what to do about their relationship and partnership tomorrow.