BH: Just letting you all know... The ending isn't perfect. Rather, it's not the one I actually wanted to write. Also technically this story is over, but there is room for a sequel. Tbh, I am super nervous to post this. I don't think anyone is likeable in this chapter. For me that was part of the fun, but I'm also just really concerned to share this and IDK if that's my perfectionism or what, but I hope this chapter is everything you never knew you'd enjoy. That's what I sincerely hope. On a different note, I kind of dropped the honorifics big time in this chapter lol.

Territorial

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Chapter Three

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If the world is a jigsaw puzzle of eight million pieces, it can be a disheartening journey to find out where you are in the big picture.

Are you an edge piece holding the image's shape together?

Perhaps you're a double wings piece that's pure blue sky with just a wisp of cloud.

Or an irregular piece of peculiar shapes too far drenched in shadows to be understood.

Young Sakura was surprised to find her shape had fit so well with her new friend, Ino's. For example, every time Ino brought a fashion magazine to school, they'd spend their lunches circling which items they wanted.

It was easy for Sakura to want things. But it wasn't easy for her to get things.

Whatever Ino set out to get, she got. But Sakura often felt like she was lying to herself.

'I'll never get that coat. That bracelet. Those shoes.'

When first grade turned to second and second into third, the covetous desire for materialistic items steadily evolved. Now Sakura wanted respect, even though she was barely aware of the concept. She wanted more affection and more attention.

She wanted to become an object herself.

Something to be obtained and then worshipped.

She wanted to feel that from Sasuke.

But boys didn't catch feels as early as girls did. Despite one loud, blond nuisance who shall go unnamed, who just wouldn't leave her alone, Sakura told herself boys didn't want girls yet.

It's like what the biology books in the library said: Girls hit puberty at earliest eight years. Boys, as soon as nine.

Well, she was ten now but nothing was happening yet.

Finding out Ino was already wearing training bras before her got her steamed, but she bit her tongue.

Sakura even tried drinking more milk. She tried praying as well, by going to a local shrine and pacing the perimeter one-hundred times.

Everyone was sprouting up around her.

And she was still a bud.

But maybe it wasn't all hopeless. Hyuuga Hinata was still the shortest girl in the entire class. Perhaps she too was a bud that would never bloom.

Sakura could only hope.

But then one night, Sakura had arrived to the Yamanaka's residence for their monthly sleepover. The unlikely tag team that was Detective Inoichi and his interior decorator wife could be seen in the modern touches to their stately home.

It always left Sakura feeling hollow and more than a little green the mornings after.

Her own parents would always be disappointments to her. Blue Collar disappointments who, perhaps, would've never had her in the first place had her mother not gotten that raise.

She only exists because the idea of her had finally become convenient. As if her mother had been waiting two decades to finally open that package containing a single precious china doll, because she had finally obtained the stand and glass case to display her in.

'There,' she pictures her mother saying as she admires the glass display. 'Now I can finally say I have a child.'

Sakura hurries up the curved flight of stairs then down the hall to Ino's bedroom.

She just splurged her pocket money on kiddie makeup boxes and they were going to practice their beauty game.

She hears Ino's voice drifting through the crack between her door. Sakura wonders who she is talking to.

"Ino, I'm here-" Sakura's gaze fall upon a diminutive figure, mousy and dull. Hyuuga Hinata is sitting in a corner in Ino's bed, hugging the squishy loaf-of-bread-shaped pillow, the kind with the adorable 'OwO' face and blush lines.

But, but, but… Loaf-chan is her favorite pillow. She's literally her loafing buddy!

Ino is seated on a teal cushion by her low circular table in the center of the bedroom. The ole snack tray is here, too.

But all of the almond cream Pockii is gone. Eaten. Vanished.

Could they not wait until she got here?!

"Oh, Sakura!" Ino greeted as she got to her feet. She addressed Hinata and excused herself, then Ino was leading Sakura back out into the hall. Ino slung her arm around Sakura's shoulders as they began to walk away, and she leaned in close, her voice just above a whisper. "I know, I know. This is really unexpected, but look... She came home with my dad two hours ago."

Sakura's eyes widened. She glanced at Ino, hoping to discover a crack in her mask, something to tell her she was lying.

Ino looked her dead in the eye.

Okay, she wasn't lying.

"What ha-"

Ino cut her off. "That's for another time. Tonight is going to be like all the other nights, but with one extra person, okay?"

"Then that's not at all like the other nights."

Ino scowled at her. "Don't nitpick. Boys won't like that."

Sakura rolled her eyes. But then Ino grabbed her by both shoulders and stared down into her soul.

"Make her feel welcomed, 'kay? Promise me."

Sakura blinked rapidly, then stared. She nodded slowly, even though it felt perfunctory and automatic, rather than sincere.

Because she didn't want to go a whole night finding out that Hinata's shape was more compatible with Ino than her own.

Hinata was miserable and squeaky, nondescript and forgettable.

That's what Sakura came to understand when the girl just wouldn't go away.

More and more, every time Sakura visited, there was Hinata glued to Ino's side. Sakura wouldn't be surprised if Ino started swaddling the droopy-faced wimp on her back like a baby.

What was the archetype for a girl like her? Poor little rich girl?

Sakura fumed on Ino's bed, possessively clutching Loaf-chan against her as she watched Hinata and Ino press flowers together.

Just like a rich girl to be dainty and cultured. So pretentious.

Not only that, but somehow Hinata - the shortest girl in their class - was the first one to reach a cup size.

This brat has everything and yet she doesn't even appreciate it, does she?

The moment they were done, Ino held up their finished scrapbook and admired the arrangement of colors and texture against the layers of clear film. It looked like the perfect bouquet.

"I wanna show my mom. She'll be so inspired." Ino excused herself, leaving the two of them alone; one lioness growling at the reluctant newcomer.

"Must be nice to be you." Sakura jabbed.

"D,Do you really th,think so?"

"Oh, c'mon. You've clearly got everything but an interesting face."

"D,Do I really?"

Sakura gripped Loaf-chan and hurled it at Hinata. It bounced off the back of her head so hard it caused her face-plant the table.

Sakura's heart seized in her chest. Her blood ran cold, her inner fire snuffed by dread.

She didn't mean to throw it that hard.

She didn't think she had.

Suddenly Hinata began to shift. She gripped the table and pushed up. She got to her feet, keeping her head down, and Sakura felt like she needed to hold her back.

Hinata hovered there for a moment, as if she had something to say.

Then she walked out of the bedroom.

Sakura watched her leave like a ghost.

Her eyes burned, her nose felt tight and stuffy.

Her bully Ami and her cronies were never as awful as she had been just now.

This shame doesn't go away. It cannot be scrubbed, lasered, or white-washed. Cleaning it only makes it spread. It may be diluted, but now it's everywhere.

Sakura only knows how to get by in life by lying.

She's not pathological, rather, much of the things she wants can only be earned through emotional persuasion and other party tricks.

She knows she's pretty, but she doesn't know her worth.

She knows she's intelligent, but she doesn't know who cares.

She knows she's athletic, but she doesn't know if she has the commitment. She's a class rep, after all. The kind of title that screams 'I want you all to listen to me when I speak'.

There've been boys willing to buy her a bracelet or a brand new coat. There've been boys who'd been charmed by her smile, her laugh, her wit.

She lied to them all so she could use the fruits of their labor to her advantage: to be good enough for Sasuke.

And it's been working.

Despite the fact that he never made it to her dorm room the night of the cultural festival, she feels really good about this.

Because she finally has a date with him coming up.

Something simple, something brief.

She's not trying to get caught. She's not trying to break too many rules.

She's only trying to lay claim to what she wants.

But that stubborn shame that won't shake loose; it comes from knowing that herself, her true authentic self, from her brashness to her pettiness, to that uncomfortable itch that only unanimous approval can cure, that she will never be good enough.

Sakura marches up the flight of stairs to her dorm. It's three hours till curfew and she has to mock up tomorrow's announcements.

When she reaches the top, a pair of pale eyes, simultaneously opaque yet so loud with unspilled anguish, they hold her in place and Sakura stares back.

Hinata's brows knit and she offers a sad smile.

Then she turns the knob and disappears inside her room.

Another thing that Hinata has that Sakura wants: the ability to welcome her emotions without losing an ounce of dignity.

The twenty-fifth of December is a day for couples, while the first of January is a day for family.

Naruto hasn't had a proper New Years in over two years, and he's unsure when he will again.

If he can spend the twenty-fifth with Sakura, then he can pull through another lonely New Years Day. That's what he thinks, anyways.

He couldn't dismiss Hinata's text no matter how he tried. He couldn't even bring himself to delete it. Even if it was spiteful, her words weren't empty.

He had spent four hours self-consciously eyeing his reflection before giving in. He went back to the same generic haircut place and asked if they could fix it. Of course, they weren't quite sure what 'fixing it' meant. Through a steaming red face, he asked if they could help him look less douchey.

He had come out of the store with a neatened crew cut. They even gelled the front for him, and asked if he wanted to buy the gel, but he didn't trust himself to style it as well as they did, so he declined.

He just gave up some of the appeal Hinata had given him to catch Sakura's eye; now he wasn't sure if he'd ever get to spend the twenty-fifth with her.

So much for trying to compete on Sasuke's level.

Naruto had no idea what he was doing when he sought out Sakura in the labyrinthian wilds of the city. Armed with nothing but his badass bomber jacket and his best intentions, he hoped the minimal practice he got out of Hinata would help.

That if he just pulls Sakura in and gives her a passionate kiss, that she'll melt into the palm of his hand.

The twenty-fifth was in five days, and he wasn't going to fail today.

He sussed out the places where he had ran into her before. After that he tried the types of places she might be.

Like those trendy, high-end cafés.

If he's up against five other dudes, he wouldn't put it past her to be spoiled by them, even if she wasn't ready to commit.

If he was a girl, he'd probably do the same.

He's a guy and he thinks the idea of a free lunch sounds great!

He pauses in the middle of the crosswalk, pedestrians gliding past him left and right.

Duh. He remembers. He was hoarding Hinata's kindness until things got too weird for him. He's not even sure what to make of her.

Despite being wounded, she still promised to make sure Sakura would reciprocate his feelings. Despite whatever selfishness she operated on, she was still his declared ally.

Naruto shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and trudged forward.

"Maybe I should make it up to her." He mumbled beneath his breath. Except, he doesn't know a thing about her.

Naruto knows when to spot Sakura at a glance. It's not just her height or build, or the way she carries herself or the simultaneously girlish yet classy clothes she loves to wear. He always looks out for her natural pink head.

Fake pink hair always looks flat or patchy. It's just something he's picked up on after turning heads for the wrong girl, like the golden retriever he was, always alert whenever something familiar moved nearby.

Sakura's hair is like silk. From root to end, it always shines.

So when he happens upon a popular bakery chain, the self-serve kind that always runs out of curry pan before ten in the morning, he spots a tight frame tucked inside a red duffle coat, tight black pants underneath and a milk white scarf wrapped around her neck. It makes her perfect pink hair billow out over the top, and while he's looking at the back of her head, he can picture the way her hair is curling around her equally pink lips.

Naruto hovers there. She's sitting at a table for two, but she's by herself.

He wants to know who's going to show up. He wants to know who his competition is.

How can he even prove that he's better than all the rest? That he's the most deserving of her time? What does he have to offer her as a potential boyfriend?

Hinata only told him what Sakura's type was.

To be told that Sakura wants to be in the active position at all times confuses him. How is he supposed to pursue her while acting like he couldn't give two shits?

Is he really supposed to just sit still anywhere and look pretty?

Somehow that's all Sasuke-teme needs to do.

The patio door opens. Naruto's breath locks in his chest.

Sasuke is walking out with a tray loaded with fresh baked pastries and sweetened rolls and Naruto never thought he'd see Sasuke do anything for anybody.

Sasuke takes the seat across from Sakura, and in true Sasuke fashion, he starts in on their food and doesn't offer her any.

It used to be just the two of them, him and Sasuke, but then things gradually soured. Naruto wasn't sure if it was Sasuke who was unrecognizable or it was himself, because once Naruto finally got better, it was like returning home only to find all your possessions had been robbed.

Naruto tried to be the same, but Sasuke wasn't interested. When it came to the cultural festival and Ichiraku, he acknowledges that such moments were mere lip service to the old days.

Friends in appearance. That's it.

So Naruto continues to stand there. Rooted in place. Watching this dreaded scene unfold.

It's not until the two lean in for a peck that reality shakes him loose from his denial.

Was there really five guys vying for her attention?

Or did Hinata mean that Sasuke was five times the man he'll ever be?

Naruto sucks air through his nose. Short and quick intervals. The saliva in his mouth has thickened and his throat refuses to open up for smooth passage.

The peck is chaste and short-lived.

The way Sakura remains leaning forward and looking up, Naruto can imagine her moony gaze.

Sasuke isn't smiling.

And it pisses him the fuck off.

Naruto returns home.

He didn't want to dwell on what he saw, what he knows, but he did anyways.

It looms over him from behind, haunting him, reminding him that he's not good enough. That he'll never be good enough.

He sits on the edge of his bed, holding his head between his knees and he's shaking.

By omission, Hinata had lied to him.

But she promised him, too.

Despite what she knew, what she withheld from him, she still promised him that Sakura would be his.

But he's not interested in stealing her. He wanted to be chosen. What's it matter if she actually leaves Sasuke for him? That's not going to make him feel better about himself.

So what's the point now?

Naruto picks up his phone from his desk and unplugs it from its charger. He reclines in bed and opens Hinata's text thread.

Hinata: I'm sorry, but you actually look like a d-bag. But that's just my opinion. Don't worry. Sakura will definitely turn her head to look at you.

His fingers tighten around his phone, he jaw clenches sideways. He can feel heat pool in his chest. It spreads out, gathering in his face and hands.

He's just everyone's favorite fool, isn't he?

Naruto: can you come over plz? I need you.

He didn't think about how that might sound.

But at least he wasn't the one lying here.

She appeared in a whirl of wind-mussed hair, panting for breath and a little wild-eyed, and Naruto felt like the one displaced. Like he was actually the least genuine person here.

He glanced down to find she had arrived with groceries. Again.

"I,I,I wasn't s,sure what you n,needed, but I wanted t,to be prepared."

Naruto gave her a cock-eyed stare.

"What, do you really think I can't cook?" Maybe he can and he just doesn't want to. She ever consider that?

Hinata ducked her head a little. "Y,You never offered t,to help."

Naruto turned around and retreated into his apartment. He heard the obligatory 'pardon the intrusion' phrase as she crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her.

Naruto took a seat at his kotatsu and slouched over it. Nothing could stop the heat building in his limbs, the way his irritation crackled like two shards of flint striking against each other.

And there was no appropriate outlet for his blackened feelings, either.

Hinata spared him a worried glance as she entered the living room. She then proceeded into the kitchen, as if this has always been their routine.

He hears drawers slide open and shut closed, and cabinets quietly banging. To think she's this comfortable that she can help herself like this. Then again, it's her kitchen supplies that she's left here. As if he has any use for them.

Because he doesn't cook.

And he can't offer to help if he'll only get in the way.

Lie Number One for Naruto.

Guess that's a first.

When the apartment fills with cozy, delicious smells again, he begrudgingly feels his irritation sap away.

He taps his forehead against the kotatsu. He won't give in. This is a bribe. By 'prepared', she meant for herself. So that he'd be pliable to her manipulation.

He begins to bang his head harder.

Something drops to the kitchen floor.

Two small, warm hands rest against his forehead and upper back, and it's like she caught him in mid-air.

"Wh,What're you d,doing?"

Naruto stills. He tries to swallow.

He leans away from her and she takes her hands off him.

"Stop cooking." He muttered.

"It's al,almost done."

"I don't want any."

Hinata stands up.

She returns to the kitchens, and he figures she's trying to finish up.

Minutes later she returns empty-handed and she sits down adjacent of him, her hands formally folded over her lap.

"I,It's cooling off f,for now. I,I'll be sure t,to put in the fridge b,before the four h,hour mark. Y,You can eat it later."

"Stop babying me. I never asked you to."

Her right hand reached up to her ear and she began to comb her fingers through her thick locks. She's brushing it over her large chest, which is now confirmed to be larger than he initially thought, because she's wearing a ribbed turtleneck and he can't stop the way his breath catches in his chest when he watches how they swell. She's breathing deeply. She must be anxious, but somehow it's just putting him in the mood.

She doesn't ask him what's so obviously on her mind, so he begins in full bluster.

"You can't get Sakura to spend the twenty-fifth with me, can you?"

"H,How come you c,cut your hair? I t,told you. Sh,She likes t,trendy guys."

Naruto snapped his snarl in her direction. "You said it looked douchey."

"I h,have n,no control over S,Sakura's p,poor taste."

Wow. He really had nothing to say to that.

Naruto turned his head to stare at the age old scratch marks along the kotatsu's surface. The old man failed to wrap his furniture between moves, seeing how random the lacerations in the wood were.

Sakura's poor taste. Hm.

"So what's that say about me?" He gave Hinata a sidelong stare.

"I,I don't understand."

"You believe she has poor taste in guys," Liar, liar, liar. She knows about Sasuke. She's just sucking up to him by putting Sasuke down. "What's that say about me liking her so much?"

Hinata's gaze lowers to her lap. Her countenance droops. And she's quiet.

"... Sakura is… intelligent, hard-working, cute and… a,at times she's a work in progress… b,but on her best days, she can be extremely loyal," Her eyes closed. "I,I think you have great t,taste, N,Naruto-kun."

She barely stammered the whole time. Naruto has to assume she meant every word.

"So you do love her."

Her eyes snapped open, her red face rose up to meet his.

He corrected himself. "Not in the way I suggested the other day. And I'm…" He looked away. "I'm sorry about that."

She nodded as her blush began to calm.

Naruto deflated against the kotatsu with a drawn out sigh.

"I really can't figure out how much of this arrangement is for yourself or for Sakura, but-"

"N,No!"

Naruto glanced up with startled eyes.

"'No' what? Are you really trying to tell me you're doing this from the goodness of your heart?" Naruto let out a scoffing chuckle. If only she knew the resentment he harbored for the world, not that he enjoys letting it get to him. No, he actually resents the world more for it. Talk about the snake eating its own tail.

Hinata is squirming on her heels. He can see her rapidly blinking back tears, and he's sure this is humiliating for her.

For whatever reason.

"M,My life i,is what it is. I,I can be happy kn,knowing… th,that I've m,made you h,happy, e,even if it's th,through Sakura. I,I can a,also be happy if sh,she is i,in a better p,place e,emotionally."

She's serious right now, isn't she?

She stammered like crazy that time, but he doesn't think she's lying.

Her eyes met his, he froze. Determination and quiet despair radiated from her gaze all at once, and he'd never seen such a noble expression before.

"P,Please, Naruto-kun. I'm counting on you t,to make Sakura feel whole inside."

Sakura doesn't feel whole inside?

But she's always… No, no, that makes sense. She's been putting on a brave face. Just like him.

His chest warms, but this time it's not from anger.

He can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips, because he feels justified.

He knew all along that they belonged together.

Naruto leaned away from the kotatsu, humming as he stretched his back. He then laced his fingers behind his head and laid down on the tatami.

"I still don't know how you're going to pull this off."

She was with Sasuke. Surely they've got plans.

"I,I'll t,text you wh,where to meet up o,on the twenty-fifth."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the ceiling.

Her ominous statement just proved everything: Hyuuga Hinata was an omniscient puppet master.

But what should he care if he had this powerful ally in his corner?

Naruto gave a resolute nod. "I won't let you down, Hinata-chan."

With those words from his mouth, Hinata excused herself and got up.

He watched her head into the kitchen.

Where she stayed for a good hour.

The moment Naruto got up to check on her - lack of noise will drive any man to worry - Hinata had gone from hunched over the kitchen counter to moving about like a spaz.

She hurried to pack up his food as promised, and he just watched her.

If she's his sworn ally, then he should be hers too.

Naruto approached her and laid his hand against her shoulder. She flinched away, and his heart dropped.

"Uh, sorry," He returned his hand to his side. "Uh, y'know, the day after the first… I mean, when we first kissed, I thought… maybe you were using me to get some practice in yourself."

Her eyes widened.

Naruto continued. "So, if that's the case, I'm not judging. In fact, I'm really curious who you're after. Maybe you'd like some advice from a male's perspective?"

Her eyes immediately narrowed to slits and he was scared.

Scared that he was going to piss her off even more than last time.

And he just got her here too!

"What a,advice d,do you th,think I need?"

Shit. Her voice practically cut him like a razorblade.

Naruto inhaled a chest full of courage and proceeded to potentially dig his own grave. "Well, for starters blunt bangs aren't actually attractive. You look like you're trying too hard to be artsy, also you like a doll, like the ones on Girls' Day. At least try to style it. But your turtleneck is pretty hot. I think you should wear tight sweaters more often. I can tell your waistline is really amazing, and-"

She had gone from livid and upset to confounded, and her own cock-eyed stare made him shut up.

She reached behind her head and pulled her long hair over both her shoulders, obscuring her breasts and their swollen outline. He saw how the edges of her face trembled, and she rushed passed him before he could catch her unease.

"Wh- Hinata-" He jogged into the living room after her.

"Enough," Her voiced scraped over a dry throat as she hurried to grab her things. "I need to go."

He couldn't believe this scene was playing out again!

She scampered into the hallway and he chased her down into the genkan. He kicked her shoes away and slammed his palms against the door, pinning her place. He heaved for breath in the airless tension, not due to exertion but because his nerves were shot.

He never noticed till now how much he hates people running out on him.

There's no telling if they'll ever come back.

"Can,Can we be friends, or something?" He asked. "Can I be on the same level as you here? Tell me you like someone. Or tell me I'm wrong. But just tell me why you offered to go all the way with me. I'm willing to rely on you, but I'm kind of starting to feel like I don't know what I really agreed to. Does that make sense?"

All he can see is the top of her glossy head.

"... I don't like anyone." She whispered, her voice softly crackling like tissue paper.

"You don't?" He parroted back in a flat tone, as if confirming he heard her correctly. He feels like he's staring down a wilted black lily, shrivelled and dull. He doesn't understand her at all. "Okay… so then, why?"

"I,I t,told you… S,Sakura p,prefers someone wh,who can fulfill her i,in every fa,facet."

Meaning, be a stylish and aloof pretty boy who's a good kisser and an even better lover. To think Sakura would be the type to dump anyone who didn't give her fireworks the first time around. The extent of her expectations does leave him a little weary.

But this girl… This strange, evasive girl…

"So… this is just a logical choice for you? You don't get anything out of it?"

Her arms came up around her middle and she hugged herself. He witnessed a smirk, but it was hollow and sad.

"Why do I,I h,have to g,get anything of it? What's that i,information g,going to do for you?" Her head craned up a little ways, and her large innocent eyes regarded him from beneath the curtain of her blunt bangs. She seemed fearful, like a fawn pleading with a mountain lion. "Do you really feel like I'm using you?"

No, he can't forget she's the puppet master here.

It's reverse psychology. She's trying to make him feel bad for accusing her of taking advantage of him. If he dismisses this now, the subject is sealed, never to be brought up again.

Time to turn it all back on her.

Naruto leaned in close until he could smell the hint of jasmine in her shampoo. "You say you don't like anyone, and maybe that's true. But you can't show up looking so good and expect me not to notice. I wonder… did I pull you away from something important?" He crouched down so he could be eye level with her and she stared back at him apprehensively. "You already have a boyfriend, don't you?"

"No. I,I don't."

She's lied before. Of course she wouldn't cop to cheating on her boyfriend.

Should he feel proud that she'd choose him over her boyfriend? Did that make him a shithead or was that completely normal?

No, forget it. He shouldn't enable a cheater, if she is one.

Naruto closed his eyes and clicked his tongue, his upper lip curled in annoyance.

"Hinata. You have to be getting something out of this. Even if you're just pitying me, or if you're really putting all your bets on me to steer Sakura away from douchebags, I just can't understand you sleeping around for the sake of your friend. I really don't get it."

"Wh,What m,makes you th,think I w,would have a b,boyfriend?"

"Because…" Naruto gazed at the floor. "You know how to cook? And you've got a huge rack?"

"A,A,Are y,you going t,to keep insulting me?"

He looked her straight in the eye. His patience was getting thinner by the moment, and evidently so was hers. The very last of her patience was running in rivulets down her face.

How come they can't seem to have a normal conversation?!

"How am I insulting you?! These are facts, okay?! Straight facts!" He was getting tired of that withering stare on her face. Girls always made him feel so dumb when they looked at him like that. "What?!"

"I like being used." Each syllable had been drawn out, like a knife ghosting his skin.

Naruto's hands came away from the door. He backed away, his heel bumping into the edge of the genkan.

He asked for an explanation. Something. Anything. And yet those words didn't make sense to him either.

She just can't be the type.

She dresses so plainly usually, even now she's relatively modest. It's her breasts that are so obscene.

But he barely knows her.

So it could be true.

His gaze moves over her body as if he can see the phantom handprints that have sampled her and he distances himself further from her.

Hinata begins to slip on her shoes. She rearranges her bag on her shoulder and spares him an unfeeling glance.

"O,Out of all the d,disgusting things you've had t,to say about me… you never c,considered th,that one, did you?"

She turned the knob and escaped, making sure to slam it hard, as if to let everyone know she exists.

She likes being used?!

She likes being used.

Is that a fucking joke?!

Naruto continues to stand there in the hallway, staring at his front door as if the answers to life's questions would come walking in.

But no.

It never does.

It can't be true. She's got to be messing with him. She said it to top all the other crap he's been assuming.

Naruto scratches furiously at his scalp, growling in aggravation over how easily he's made the fool.

Nobody ever takes him fucking seriously.

Somewhere deep down he'd been beginning to hope she was different.

But she's not going to be real with him.

So maybe he should just leave it alone.

Grumbling with his hands in his pockets, he drags his feet towards the kitchen.

"If she won't tell me her real feelings, then she ain't got any."

He says this, but when he opens the fridge and looks at the food waiting inside, when he takes a look at the washed dishes airing out on drying rack beside the sink, when he thinks about how she delicately kissed his bruises the other day, his heart slowly, slowly sinks.

What if she really likes being used?

What if she doesn't care who does it?

What if he's nobody to her?

She's vetting him for her friend. She's shaping him into a proper man. That's what all this is. It's a win-win situation.

So why does he feel more upset than ever?

She shouldn't have said that to him.

It was spiteful. Shameful. Just another lie atop the mountain she keeps building beneath herself. Soon she'll be so far up, so out of touch with the real world below.

Hinata is taking the train back to Secret Garden, where she plans to hole up in her dorm like an agoraphobe.

She's strangling the strap of her bag in her hands. It's the best she can do to distract herself from the knots forming in her stomach.

Her brows knit as she replays the look on his face as she left.

Her heart thuds, the aches are compounding and she sighs at length.

This is such a mess.

She's really gone and made a huge mess.

But she's not important to him, so it's okay. Even though he asked to be friends, there was no way she'd endure this torture any further.

She'll keep her promise to him. He'll be happy. Sakura will know the love of a genuine man. And as for herself, well, she can wash away some of her guilt. She can feel like she's useful, like she's capable of positive change.

Keeping her father's secret had been like poison, one fed into her like an IV drip, slowly killing her over time.

Until Inoichi absolved her of the burden.

She never had to open her mouth.

Everything worked out just as it was supposed to.

Part of her still wishes she had spoken up. Part of her still feels like a coward.

This will make everything right.

In the meantime, she still intends to collect her keepsake from him.

Even if they end up jumping down each other's throats, even if their sensitivities act out against their will, scratching and poking and pinching until their nerved are frayed and egos bruised.

Next time if he pushes her away, she'll make sure he's pushing her down instead.

At least then, he can't get any wrong ideas.

If only that could be said about a certain Uchiha who happened to be taking the route as her, who happened to be lined up in the exact direction she was spacing off towards.

She hadn't the faintest awareness he was there.

When the train arrives at her stop, she glides through the doors like a fish re-entering the salty ocean, and she makes a beeline for the karaage wrap stand in the food court. She regrets not being able to share another meal with him, but she understands his feelings to an extent.

She's been coming off too strongly in areas that are not relevant to his training.

Of course he would be annoyed.

She stands in line behind four other people. A dark and immaculate presence falls behind her. The line moves, one by one, until it's her turn. It's not until she turns around with receipt in hand that she notices him, and her heart jumps out of her chest.

She stills, Sasuke's flinty stare causing her heart to stop.

Could it be possible… Does he know she's trying to keep Sakura away from him?

"I've never seen you on this route before." He said, like he suspected her of wrongdoing.

"M,My school i,is here."

"You take the stop from our old neighborhood to get here?"

Oh, that's what he meant.

Hinata straightened her back and smoothed out the wrinkles along her belly. She looked at him evenly. "Th,Then what b,brings you a,away from our old neighborhood?"

Sasuke crossed his arms and stepped out of line, not once did he take his eyes off of her. He was like a gray wolf sizing up his prey.

"Four years is a long time. I doubt you were feeling nostalgic. Unless you're secretly a masochist."

Hinata blinked rapidly against the stinging in her eyes.

Why would he know anything about how things were for her back then?

"Number twenty-eight!" The cashier called from the food stand.

Hinata turned her back on Sasuke and accepted her food from the cashier, bowing in thanks. Her stomach squelched as the savory smell of deep fried chicken thighs hit her nose. The glistening brown coating and steam practically wrapped like two warm arms around her, giving her an encouraging squeeze.

But before she made her leave, she paused and looked at him from over her shoulder.

"Sasuke-kun, this concept m,may go over your head, b,but someday maybe you'll understand: Nobody ever gets what they w,want. The s,sooner you accept this fact, the b,better off you'll be."

Hinata stalked off knowing full well she had just declared war over Sakura's well-being.

And Hinata aimed to win.

He quit the Rugby team. The captain stopped short of shrugging and gave a half-hearted 'Sorry to hear that'.

Naruto had hovered on the edge of the field for some time, wondering if one of those sappy scenes out of sports animes would play out; but none of his former teammates spared him a glance. They continued with practice as if he'd never been there to begin with.

He tells himself they got used to his time away.

"Back to being part of the 'Going Home Club'." He sighed as he departed school grounds.

He hasn't noticed, but Hinata's been on his mind more than Sakura ever has. If anything, Sakura seems more like a convenient excuse to think about Hinata.

So this is killing two birds with one stone, he thinks. Not only is she vetting him and grooming him for her dear friend, but she's getting a thrill out of this one-sided situation.

When he makes it home, he sits in the hallway facing the front door, and he replays yesterday, from her cold eyes which looked right through him, to the way her lips moved when she told him: "I like being used."

How many guys does she see a day?

How big is her contacts list?

Does she give them code names?

What would his be?

Naruto collapses on his back and gazes up at the ceiling. He feels like he's in a box, one with no air holes poked through. His heart is beating so hard it feels like it could break his ribs.

After this… after Sakura becomes his girlfriend, Hinata will move on, won't she? Rather… if he decided he liked her too, because that's what this pain usually means, wouldn't she be disgusted with him? It wouldn't be any fun for her if he reciprocated, would it?

His hands settled over his face. He breathed through his nose slowly. Once, twice, a third time. He sees her hand-in-hand with a much taller guy, a third-year maybe, and they're outside a Love Hotel. He breathes a fourth time, a fifth time, a sixth. Now she's pinned to the oversized bed. Now she's moaning while he pulls her hair and pounds her from behind.

His breathing quickens. And he recognizes this quickening. He needs to control himself.

When he reaches for his phone and texts her, that's not controlling himself at all.

That's utter abandon of his dignity.

She appears in front of his door like an illusion.

Bangs swept to the side. High-waisted black jeans. A fitted lavender sweater, fuzzy in texture and slightly cropped above the waistband.

She's never dressed like this for him.

That's right.

Because this wasn't meant for him.

She took his advice, and he pulled her away from her latest conquest.

He steps aside to let her in. She doesn't have food on her this time. He wonders if she knows what lesson he wants today. Cooking would have cut too much time out of their session.

"I can't accept any more lessons once Sakura's my girlfriend, so you're going to have to teach me a lot in a short amount of time." His eyes trace the length of glossy black hair. It's super straight as it runs down her back, winding down into curls that end at her waist. He watches how they sway and bounce with every step deeper into his home. He also can't ignore the way the seams of her jeans reveal the true shape of her bottom; like an upside down heart.

He swears life hates him.

She pauses at the end of the hall, as if she's contemplating entering the light of the living room, or the secluded darkness of his bedroom.

"S,S,So... Wh,What would y,you like t,to practice t,today?" Her voice is soft, laced with apprehension. It sinks into his bloodstream like a syrupy poison, and it hurts so good.

He's drawn to her.

He's repulsed by her.

He wants to hide her from the world.

He wants to exist with her in a way that's special, a way that is different from all the other guys.

His hands float over the edge of her waist, anticipation crawling beneath his palms.

He can feel her heat emanating from the crevice of exposed skin, and he wonders if he can bottle it up and keep it by his bedside.

"Touching," He finally said, having arisen out of his stupor. "Show me how girls like to be touched."

Her right hand reaches for his, and he lets her lead him to the bedroom.

They're hip to hip, his hands cradling her face, her hands resting against his collarbone, and they're kissing deeply, tongues swimming in the warmth of each other's mouths.

He's breathing loudly through his nose like she's his only source of oxygen.

She's moaning faintly, so faintly that he's straining to collect her approval in his ears, but he doesn't have to strain to swallow them. Her voice vibrates like a purr and he scoops up the base of her head and forces his tongue deeper down her throat.

When he pulls away, she's glistening, gasping, her skin flushed from neck to ear.

His lips threaten to betray him with a goofy smile. But his discomfort is never too far from his mind. Still, she's enjoying herself, isn't she?

Naruto strokes the side of her head contemplatively. She gazes at him in question. Is he being too tender for someone who only wants to use her?

"What else?" He rasps. He can't afford to let his emotions creep onto his sleeve.

Hinata's hands rest atop his. She closes her eyes as she moves his hands down her body, placing them over the generous swell of her chest.

He's so happy she's wearing this now. Even if it wasn't meant for him, it amplifies her softness.

He presses his palms against her in increments. Her breath hitches.

He flexes his fingers and squeezes. She trembles.

"I thought big breasts weren't as sensitive as smaller ones."

She doesn't reply. A moan gets stuck in her throat as his thumbs find her nipples beneath her sweater. Her bra must be so thin.

He wants to get carried away like those men in the videos Ero-jiji had stashed away. He wants to be more vigorous, he wants to grip and smush her breasts together like he owns them.

But he doesn't own her, though. No one does.

He's just borrowing her for a bit.

"C,Can I go under?" He asked, waiting for her permission.

A curt nod and he sucked in a sharp breath.

He's sampling used goods, and yet, somehow that makes her that much more valuable. His pants are choking his crotch but he doesn't want to remove his hands for a second.

His fingertips brush against her feathersoft skin and she flinches as though he'd burned her. He slides up beneath her sweater, revealing more and more cream white skin, and she's shivering.

"Now what?" He asked.

She draws a shuddery breath, and cups his hands again. She begins to show him the motion, circular like a tender massage, and he maintains the rhythm even after she takes her hands away.

He's so engrossed in her body that he doesn't notice where her hands have gone. Not until a firework of pleasure pops in the back of his head.

He labors for breath as she rubs against his hardness from atop his uniform pants and he can't take it.

This is the first time a girl's touched him.

It's his first time receiving pleasure.

Her sweater is pulled up, and his mouth is greedily suckling her left breast over the edge of her bra.

Her skin is like damp silk against his face. Her airy scent is driving him crazy.

He's making her left breast slippery with his tongue. He's relishing the little squeaks and moans when he gives her a little love bite.

Naruto tilts his head and closes his mouth over the top of her breast like a leech.

A good bite and a hard suck there, and her delicate skin turns red.

His breath seizes in his chest.

He wants to make it darker.

He wants to make it darker.

He wants the other guys to know that he exists. He wants to be her favorite amongst them all.

"Don't." Her hands push at his forehead and she takes a step back as she crosses her arms over her chest. She looked to the side, embarrassment knitting her brow.

The ache returns. It's like it's just stomping on his chest. He should know. He's taken a beating before.

"Please." That word came out on its own and he couldn't take it back.

He exists, dammit. Just let him show everyone that he exists. He's not a secret. She doesn't have to be ashamed of him. She believes in him to make Sakura happy. That means she believes he's worth something, right?

She reached for the front clasp, the motion causes her breasts to push up. Her bra came undone. Flushing brightly, she peeked at him from beneath the fan of her lashes. "Y,Y,You c,can't p,plead with S,Sakura, o,okay? Sh,She won't l,like that."

She parted the cups. His saliva thickened in his mouth.

He was amazed to find her breasts didn't sag as much as he expected. They were gorgeously round, immaculately white.

The perfect canvas for his teeth.

He reached for her and pulled her in. Her hands clasped over her mouth. She shivered.

He poked his nose between the valley of her breasts. He inhaled and laved her breastbone with the broad stroke of his tongue.

He nipped and suckled carelessly as her sounds showered upon his ears, rewarding him, egging him on.

He won't leave a single spot left for them to taste.

They'll see him. They'll know his presence.

Maybe then, they might back off on their own.

He's having a day with the boys. Classes just ended yesterday, so they've got extra time to kill before the holidays.

Him, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Sai and Sasuke-teme are crammed into a booth at a local Okonomiyaki place, and the chef is flipping their cabbage pancake right now.

When they finally have some privacy, Naruto can't stop the next words from vomiting out of his mouth.

"Hey, uh, what kind of girl gives you a handjob in a movie theatre?"

Kiba choked on his food. Shikamaru's water dribbled from his mouth. And Sasuke's chopsticks rolled free from his grip.

Chouji and Sai kept eating.

"Who cares about 'what'," Kiba laughed in shock. "I wanna know who."

"And why." Shikamaru added.

Sasuke remained speechless. The stoic and unreachable Uchiha looked as if he'd just discovered that the life he was living before was merely a simulation and he's just now woken up.

"I dunno if I should say, but she's got this long, really thick black hair. It's kind of inky, like it looks blue under direct light. And she's really pale, and she's already a G-cup-" Naruto paused when Sasuke made a weird sound beside him. "Anyways, she's also got white eyes."

Sasuke's elbow skidded into his plate, nearly knocking over his glass of water onto the griddle.

Everyone's expressions turned ashen but Sai's.

Sai kept on eating.

"What?" Naruto asked.

The boys resumed normal conversation, as if this whole moment never happened.

Why is it the one time he has something manly to report, they won't indulge him?

"It really happened." Naruto said, interrupting Kiba's story about Akamaru adopting a kitten found in his backyard. The boys glanced at him uneasily.

"Yeah, that's really cool. Good for you, man," Kiba said, with Shikamaru providing a deadpan thumbs up. "Anyways-"

Naruto slapped the table as he stood, but they all made an effort not to look at him.

"You guys don't believe me?!"

"Are you going to start shouting to the whole restaurant that you got your meat jerked in a movie theatre? Huh?" Shikamaru whisper-yelled.

Red-faced, Naruto scrambled passed Sasuke and Sai's knees to get out of the booth. He hurried out of the restaurant.

What he didn't hear were his friends talking back and forth about him, expressing their shared weariness towards him, expressing concern that he stay emotionally ten forever.

It's not like they don't like him anymore.

But he's become extremely embarrassing to keep around.

"Anyone wanna talk about how it's Hyuuga Hinata who gave him a handy?" Shikamaru said. A chorus of muttering rose up.

Kiba pressed his cheek against the flat of his fingers and frowned. "Man, I dunno whether to believe it or not. She's always liked him, but she's gotta be too timid for that."

"Wasn't his godfather getting by on writing dirty novels?" Sai said.

"Naruto stopped bringing him to Parent-Teacher meetings after fifth grade. Sensei accused him of groping her, but the only witness would've been Naruto himself." Chouji added.

Shikamaru laced his fingers behind his head and reclined in the booth. He gazed up at the rafters of the restaurant, the fluorescent lights blinding him if he looked on directly.

"God, what a pain. I hate to be the one to say it, but… maybe he's turning into him," Shikamaru paused as Sasuke got up and excused himself, and they watched him go. Not that they cared for him much either. Once Sasuke was out of earshot, he amended his statement. "Or he's trying too hard to be like that player. Can you really picture Hinata doing that voluntarily?"

The booth hummed with a resounding 'no'.

Where could he put it?

Naruto circled his room several times with his phone in hand, peering over his TV, inspecting the arrangement of books on his desk, only to struggle to find a natural spot.

He didn't want her catching on before she came over.

There was a knock on his door.

Sweat broke out along his temple. He whipped around, gaze falling upon his hamper and he hoped that would be good enough.

He opened up his camera app, slid the option to video and pressed the big red button. He lined the camera lense against the handle holes in his hamper and piled clothes atop his phone.

Heart slamming in his chest, he forced his breath to steady before answering her.

Naruto opened the door, and Wow, that's not fair.

She kept her bangs swept to side, which really was flattering on her and seemed to look better and better each time he saw her. But she also had her thick hair pulled back in a high ponytail.

Today she seemed more like her usual self: a thick maxi dress paired with a chunky maxi sweater.

Such a tease.

She's taken off her skirt. She's sitting on his bed, her legs spread wide open, and her face is pinker than he's ever seen.

Naruto is kneeling on the floor. He's burning up, straining against his jeans, and he can't take his eyes off his cotton-wrapped present. He's had sex education already, few years ago in fact, but Hinata is giving him an intimate refresher.

Her breath fills the room like cautious whispers before she moves her panties to the side with trembling fingers, and his breath catches. He surges towards the bed, his face inches from her pretty privates.

Naruto's nose scrunched up in thought.

He knows she cleaned up, that's not the problem here.

It's how tight she looks for someone who supposedly sees a ton of guys.

"D,D,Don't j,just stare." She whined.

He glanced up into her hazy humiliation and he smirked at her. Warmth like triumph pounded in his chest. Until he reminded himself she must act this way around the others too.

"How should I touch you?"

She tucked her chin to her neck and looked away. In the direction of his hamper.

Fuck.

Naruto scrambled on the bed, his right hand cupped her chin and he tugged her into a hard kiss. After sucking her lungs out, he realized that his hardness was flush against her nethers and he froze.

"Wh,What was that for?" She whispered, her gaze glued to the space between them.

"I,I dunno. Did… did you like it?"

Her nose wrinkled. "I,I think… S,Sakura would e,enjoy a kiss like that. B,But n,not right away, o,or anything. T,Too intense."

That wasn't answering his question at all.

Naruto cleared his throat. "So, uh… it's uh, kinda hurting down there. C,Can I uhm, rub one out against you?"

Her eyes widened but she still would not look up at him.

"Y,You'll ruin m,my sweater…"

Naruto snickered. "Then just take your sweater off."

Her face deepened red. "Th,This is t,too soon…"

Was she going off of a script? How the hell can she say that?

It's got to be part of the thrill. Like role play. She's meek and submissive, but secretly she wants it.

Naruto reaches for the hem of her sweater and begins to lift it up. She doesn't stop him. He doesn't know whether to be thrilled or disappointed.

The sweater comes off and is placed aside in his bed. She tries to shield the fading marks along her breasts, but he pulls her hands away by her wrists. He inspects each one as if he'll identify a mark he had not made. He smiles when he's sure that his canvas has gone untouched.

Naruto slides off the bed to his feet. He's fumbling to undo his pants, heated apprehension sending him into a slight panic.

He doesn't really want to only grind against her. He wants to put it in. His phone will capture the glorious moment and if anyone doubts him, he'll have proof. They'll know he's a real man.

He's tripping to get one leg out when suddenly he gets a phone call.

And it rings.

He hears Hinata shift on the bed.

And it rings.

He head inches to the right, just enough to catch her in his periphery. She's reaching for her sweater and searching the room for the source of the noise, muffled but distinct.

He feels like if he moves he's dead.

The ringing stops.

But then it starts up again.

Hinata hurries off the bed. Naruto slides his leg back into his pants.

The phone call already interrupted the recording anyways.

He slumps down on the bed, head hanging between his knees and his hands folded over his head.

He's fucking dead.

He knows Hinata found it once his ringtone pierced his ears.

She silenced the call.

He doesn't know how it was. Spammer, maybe. It doesn't matter.

He hears her nails click along his screen. A wet sigh shudders from her mouth, and he can feel her wet disappointment about to leak from his eyes.

He can't breathe.

Then she deposits his phone back into his hamper like it was trash.

She reaches for her thick stockings along the bed and begins to redress herself.

His Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

She's slipping on her skirt, determined to never utter a word to him. He can't look at her. He can't watch her go through the motions again, of packing up just to leave him.

She has to have a ton of questions.

Even though he really did this, she has to be wondering if he was really the type. Maybe she can't believe it herself. Maybe later she'll find a reason to forgive him.

He glances at her in hope.

She's closed off, as if that phone call had been the cue telling her the money had been wired into her bank after she got done sleeping with an inmate.

He swears life really hates him.

He'll suffocate in the miasma of her judgment if this continues. So he breaks the silence.

"Hinata-"

"How serious are you about Sakura?"

He struggles to answer. His mouth opens and closes but he has nothing to say.

He doesn't know.

Sakura is great, but… but what?

He doesn't know.

Maybe he isn't all that serious about her after all.

But she doesn't want to hear that.

She'll end this right here. She'll cut him off and she'll never support him from the background. She'll hate him for being so fickle. For being wrong for her friend.

"I,I'm… very serious." His stomach feels like lead. If he can have Sakura, then in a way he can still have Hinata. If he treats Sakura right and makes her happy, Hinata will love him.

She just won't ever be in love with him.

"I don't believe you."

His eyes snapped open. His breathing quickens. He can't let it.

"Well, that… y'know, that… that was for research purposes. I,I was thinking I should… continue my godfather's legacy."

"What?"

If he bashed his head against his desk and passed out, would she forget all about this when he woke up?

"He uh, he wrote… some stuff… and it required research."

She hesitates in the silence.

"... You can't do that, either. That w,would be terribly humiliating f,for Sakura."

His hands slid scalp and down his face, his fingers pressing into his aching eyes. "Well, what'm I supposed to do? Should I not mention him at all? The perverted old coot who bothered to raise me; Should I be ashamed of him and be glad he's dead?"

"D,Don't def,flect, Naruto-kun. You were recording!" Her voice cracked like a whip and he flinched.

"I told them you gave me a handjob! They didn't believe me!"

He lifted his head.

She stared at him, her despair and her disgust pouring down her ruddy cheeks in fat streams. Her lips curled over her white teeth.

Naruto pushed off from the bed. "Hinata…" He reached for her but she flinched away.

Her arms came up around her middle and she backed away.

Why does it always play out like this?

Why does he keep giving her reasons to hate him?

She backed out of his bedroom and made her escape.

His hands fell back to his side, his jaw shifted side to side. "Don't tell Sakura, okay?" He followed her out of the bedroom and into the hallway. "It's not going to be like that with her, I swear!" He watched her slip her shoes on. It always played out this way. But she still came back. Because she felt she had to. For her friend. Not for him. "Hinata…"

She wouldn't look at him, even though she stood there ready to hear him out, she still wouldn't look.

"When I said help me get a date on the twenty-fifth… I didn't mean this one," His head dropped, his fists curled at his sides. "And maybe not even the one next year," Even if it's a lie, he hopes she accepts. She's the first girl to ever devote her time into him. The first girl to believe he could be something. He's gone and disappointed her, but he wants to believe she was right, and wants to help her believe she was right. "'Cause I think there's no way I'll be ready in time, y'know? Also… also, you gotta show more than how to impress her. You gotta help me know how to keep her! So that way…" The floor held his gaze and he wasn't sure if she'd give him a second chance. "That way this doesn't play out with her, too."

He's wondering who called.

It's all their fault, but… he really shouldn't have done it in the first place.

He's used to not getting what he wants, he's also used to not getting what he needs. He's used to it all, but that doesn't mean he accepts it.

If he can have this one thing, just keep this one thing, he thinks he can keep going.

He doesn't want her to leave no matter how bad it gets.

Her shoes clap against the linoleum. She turns the knob. He hears the deadbolt slide out of the lock.

She's going to shut him out. Back inside this airless box.

Because he's not her problem.

She can find someone who won't piss her off and ruin her day.

"I'll think about it." She said before she left.

That was the first time Hinata ever kept the ball in her court.

When Naruto returns to his room, he heads straight for his hamper.

His phone is ringing again.

He grabs the device, and a single name screams back at him.

Sasuke's calling.

Naruto swipes to answer.

He puts his phone to his ear.

"... Hello?"

"You're the worst kind of person, you know that?"

Hinata's back is flush against the wall. She's at the foot of the stairs left from the lobby, tucked behind a column beside a trashcan. The built in ashtray is harboring dozens of squashed cigarette butts like paper maggots born out of rotten fruit, and the stale stench is potent.

Still, this is far too important for her to walk away from.

She can hear Sasuke on the phone with Naruto.

She knows, because Sasuke was the one who interrupted them.

"You're petty as fuck. It doesn't matter if I've earned it or want it, whatever it is you'll try to take it for yourself."

Naruto clenched his phone. Against his better judgment, he was about to piss Sasuke off more. "What are you talking about?" But he really had to ask. Because he had no idea where this was coming from.

When has he taken anything away from Sasuke?

"Those nights when your old man went MIA cuz he was out boozing in the red light district, whose attention did you take away from me? My brother's,"

Naruto's eyes widened as those days trickled back into his mind.

But he never even noticed.

He thought Itachi was nice like that.

"Or how about the games I leant you cuz your old man couldn't be bothered to spoil you?"

Naruto perked up and turned towards his messy dresser, the stacks of video game cartridges staring back at him like a filthy past due reminder.

"All of a sudden everyone started going to your crappy apartment for Game Night. I tried to take them back, but you told everyone they were your games, and they thought I was stealing. I bought those myself!"

"F,Fine! Then take them back! No one visits me anymore anyways!"

"That's because they're wising up! They don't like you anymore!"

Naruto cradled his forehead in his open palm. He could feel himself retreating inside, like Sasuke was swinging a lit torch around, threatening bodily harm. He doesn't want it to be true, but he's been having a hard time lately fitting in. Everyone keeps changing and he can't keep up.

"... Shut up."

"You're too oblivious to read the air, so no, I'm going to keep talking. Remember in middle school when I joined the Chess club with Shikamaru? I had to quit because of you. Because you were too stupid to learn the game but you had to be wherever I was, and ruin whatever fun I was having,"

"I don't remember…"

"Yeah, what else don't you remember? How about the reason why Hinata is in love with you in the first place?"

"What?"

No, that's not right. No. She's more popular than Sakura, like a hot commodity. She lets guys use her and she loves it. She loves what they do to her, but she doesn't love them. And she especially doesn't love him.

"I was about to step in and stop her bullies, but you ruined that too. Fuck, you couldn't even land a glancing blow! How uncool is that?! And ever since she thinks you walk on fucking water! And you know what's worse?! You still get your ass kicked! You can't defend yourself and you can't defend her! You piss me off!"

He doesn't remember.

He really doesn't remember.

He had no idea.

He always reacted to his surroundings. He never put much forethought into anything. Maybe he did know Sasuke was about to do something about those jerks, and he ran in ahead of him, because he always had to be first.

He thought their friendship soured because Sasuke had changed.

Instead it was inevitable.

"I thought if I became the coolest guy, she'd finally forget about you and look at me, but no. You get to be the most pathetic person around and everyone loves you. Thank god that shit's only temporary."

Naruto clutched the pain thrumming in his chest. In the tepid warmth of his apartment, he felt icy cold from his toes to his face.

Temporary. Yeah, he doesn't like temporary. He doesn't want to think about his bonds with people having expiration dates, but it keeps happening.

First his parents, not that he ever knew them. Then Jiraiya. Now Sasuke.

Even if he gets a girlfriend, that's tenuous too.

"So… you've always liked Hinata?"

"Since day one."

Naruto winced. He wanted to ask why the hell Sasuke never tried harder, or was never up front with Hinata about his feelings. Was it really because he got in the way early on?

"What about Sakura?"

"An unfortunate casualty."

Right. Because he openly liked Sakura.

"But Hinata is in love with me, right?" Naruto's gaze burned a hole in the middle distance. The one answer, the one true answer had been staring him right in the face and he never ever considered it.

He really is fucking stupid.

"... Knowing you, she won't be for long."

He just got caught pulling a scumbag move, so sure, maybe she was beginning to open up her eyes about him.

Maybe she was beginning to reconsider how much of her efforts he really deserved, if any, just like their friends. Maybe she'll fall out of love with him by tomorrow. Maybe between now and tomorrow is enough time to make good with her again.

Naruto reclined in his bed and contemplated the surface of his ceiling. He wonders how he'll do it. She's long gone, but he knows which school she attends. It'd be better to show up in person, to apologize from the bottom of his heart, and then what?

"Actually, I like Hinata, too, so-"

"You greedy piece-of-shi-!"

"If you're really serious about Hinata, you should know that the only way to her heart is through Sakura. Who she's promised to me. But I already know about you two, so I think you're stuck. If you treat Sakura right, that's the only way Hinata will warm up to you. But the thing is, she'll only ever consider you a friend."

Sasuke went silent on the other end of the line.

And Naruto went in for the mic drop.

"Hey, since you seem to know Hinata so well, how should I ask her out?"

Blip blip, Sasuke hung up on him.

Naruto brought his phone away from his ear to rest against his stomach.

Hinata is actually in love with him.

Sakura's been an excuse for her this whole time.

Was she really just messing with him when she said likes being used? Her pussy looked like it hasn't been touched once.

Heat steadily bloomed behind his face. It radiated outwards, pooling down into his loins. His hand reached up and cover his mouth as the realization throbbed like his revived hard-on.

He was the first to look at her down there, wasn't he?

He was her first everything, wasn't he?

She loves him that much. Only he was worthy. No one else.

His throat hums with a suppressed giggle.

Somehow, he's found someone just as selfish, self-sacrificial and crazy as he is, and the warmth of her existence, of their potential, balloons and swells inside him, threatening to overwhelm him, shake him, blur him.

It's a first for him, to feel this strongly about anyone.

Despair and adoration all at once, and her name is Hinata.

He really, really likes someone like her.

He hopes she still likes him, too.

BH: Not the ending I intended. I actually wanted to show the Twenty-fifth date and show a positive change between Hinata and Sakura, but somehow I couldn't make it there. I had also intended to imply that Hinata managed to sleep with Naruto. This was supposed to be a fluffy, flirty fic with an escalation of physical stuff, but then it turned into some abstract psycho-emotional shit as usuaaal. I don't hate this or anything, it just literally went off the rails. ( x u x )

Update: The sequel is steadily forming in my mind. If any of you know the mangas "Goodnight, Punpun" or "The Flowers of Evil", they're both Seinen coming of age stories and I'm leaning towards "Flowers" in content and tone. The way this ended pretty much invites that sort of direction, so I hope it's something that interests you. These are not fluffy manga, not by a long shot.