Just Hold On

Summary: Revamp of Past Lives. Jay Halstead has always been a private person. Always keeping his professional and personal lives seperate. When a case with Intelligence starts to shed light on his past and his deepest secrets, he doesn't know what to do. Lingering feelings for the one man that he shouldn't and a child to protect, Jay finds himself in a life changing situation.

Pairings: Jay Halstead/Hank Voight, Jay Halstead/Original Male Character (Christian Romano/Chris Winters), Adam Ruzek/Kim Burgess, Hailey Upton/Natalie Manning, Erin Lindsay/Amanda Rollins, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Kelly Severide/Matthew Casey, Dominick Carisi Jr/Rafael Barba, Olivia Benson/William Dodds

Author's Note: So I am actually making a bigger change than before. So Erin Lindsay as already moved to New York in this because I really love Upton and I wanted to involve her but Erin will still be involved in this fic because I got a plot bunny and I just have to run with it! Let's just say that she moved sooner than before so we are basically going off script and she didn't almost lose her job, she chose on her own accord which I will explain in this chapter.

Hailey Upton has already joined the Intelligence Unit (this is just a few months after and yes I'm kinda going by canon but not for very obvious reasons) and Antonio Dawson is back from his position at the prosecutor's office.

Additional Notes: I'm also gonna go ahead and make this an A/B/O Universe cause it's so much of a hassel to make up medicial terms and inaccuracies when this is so much easier plus I've actually rather enjoyed writing them lately. Jay and Erin are still best friends like in the original fic. This is technically a cross-over fic of Chicago PD, MED, Fire, and SVU. I also aged up Evan from four to six so he is an elementary school student but Clara Rogers is still his nanny.

If you have not read the original fic (Past Lives), you might not understand some of the chapter notes but that is completely okay.

I hope you guys enjoy! Thank you all for being so patient with me! I want to make this as great as I can and put as much focus in it as I can!

Dynamics

Alphas: Hank Voight, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Alvin Olinski, Antonio Dawson, Will Halstead, Pat Halstead, Cornelius Rhodes, Claire Rhodes, Matthew Casey, Wallace Boden, Ethan Choi, Hailey Upton, Erin Lindsay, Dominick Carisi, Fin Tutuola, Christian Romano, Noah Porter-Benson, Evan Halstead plus more.

Betas: Kim Burgess, Sean Roman, Justin Voight, Camile Voight, Lexie Olinski, Natalie Manning, April Sexton, Maggie Lockwood, Noah Sexton, Olivia Benson, Sharon Goodwin, plus more.

Omegas: Jay Halstead, Connor Rhodes, Kelly Severide, Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba, plus more.

Chapter One: Beautiful Soul

Chapter Summary: Intelligence recieves a case that changes Jay's life forever. Jay reveals his past and concerns to Hailey.

Jay wished he could say that mornings were easy. If he did, it would be an absolute lie. Mornings were absolutely hectic in his household from the minute he wakes up to the minute he walks out the door. Currently, he was standing in his kitchen, pouring coffee in his travel mug as he yelled out, "Five minutes, Evan! We have to go!"

Putting some sugar and creamer in his coffee, he quickly stirred it and placed the lid on the steaming cup. He rushed out of the room, quickly locating his car keys and wallet. His gun was already safely holstered on his belt underneath his jacket along with his badge. "Daddy!" Evan screeched as he came barrelling into the room, his blue eyes filled his tears.

Jay kneeled down on the ground in front of the boy and placed his hands on his small arms. "Evan, buddy, what's wrong?" Jay questioned, automatically checking the boy for any signs of injuries.

"I messed up my shoelaces." Evan whispered, looking down at his shoes through his brown curly hair. Jay smiled softly as he looked down at the boy's shoes. His left shoe was tied correctly while his right was a knotted mess. "I didn't mean too. I tried to fix it." Evan was still learning how to tie his shoelaces but still messed up from time to time.

Jay only smiled as he shook his head. "Not a problem, buddy." He said as he undid the knot and retied the lace. "You're still learning. It happens."

Evan sniffled as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I'm six... I'm supposed to be able too." He muttered, scuffing his shoe on the floor as he spoke. The older Halstead sighed. "I want to tie them like you."

"I know buddy. You know, I couldn't tie my shoes right until I was seven. My mom had to tie them for me every day cause I kept messing up." Jay stated, smiling as Evan finally looked back up at him. "Everyone messes up until they get it right. Just keep trying and you will get it right, okay?" Evan nodded.

Jay couldn't fight the smile that was coming to his face again. Evan had been showing signs of being an Alpha for the last year. Children all had small signs of what their secondary gender or dynamic would be from birth until they entered school. Most children presented their dynamic between ages seven and eight. Alphas tended to be very independent children, wanting to be able to do different tasks on their own. They were also very protective of their siblings, parents, or friends. Evan had been showing all the signs and Jay had no doubt in his mind that his son would be an Alpha when he presented.

Jay, himself, was the dynamic Omega. Jay was proud to be an Omega. Omegas were the dynamic known for their 'nuturing souls' and drive to protect and care for others. He had presented at the age of seven in the middle of class when one of his classmates had gotten injuried. His classmates used to tease him about how nuturing his was towards them. His father, at first, had been angry that his son had presented as the 'motherly' dynamic until his brother and mother had stepped in and put him in his place. It changed his father's view of him when he entered the Army and later joined the Police Academy. His father is what is known as a Traditional Alpha. They believed Omegas belonged at home caring for their Alpha or Beta mate and their children. Basically a homemaker or house wife or husband. His father had made it clear to him. Especially with Evan.

Evan was born right before he entered the Police Academy and after he came home from overseas. Only a handful of people knew who Evan was to him. His father being one of those people. His older brother, Will, was the first to know. He wasn't sure what to do and he had called his brother when he was still in New York. His midwife and Omega doctor had been another. His best friend Mouse found out not long after Evan had been born. Connor Rhodes, Will's boyfriend and mate, had been told when Will decided to mate with the Omega. Kelly Severide, his best friend, found out completely by accident. When Kelly had a fight with his mate, Matthew Casey, he had came to Jay's apartment only to discover Evan at the door. Jay knew he couldn't cover it up due to the familial bond and scent shared between the two. Only three people knew who is pup's father is and those people being his father, brother, and Kelly.

The only person from the Intelligence Unit to know was Erin Lindsay. She had been his partner for years and it had came as a shock to her when she found out. Like the situation with Kelly, Erin had found out completely by accident. Jay begged her to keep him a secret. It hadn't taken long to talk her into it. After Nadia DeCotis' death, she had decided to move to New York with a job offer for the FBI. Jay knew that she had mated with one of the detectives of the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan. He had met her once on the case involving Erin's brother. He had called it when they had went to New York during the case with Erin's brother, Teddy. Amanda Rollins had been the Omega who managed to weave her way into Erin's heart. She played a part in Erin's decision to leave Intelligence and Chicago and go to New York. Thankfully, they still talked on the phone and Skype at least once a week since her departure.

After Erin's departure, Jay had gotten another partner. Hailey Upton. Hailey is also an Alpha just like Erin. She is a hell of a detective if Jay could shout it to the world. Jay hadn't seen someone challenge their boss in the way that she did. It had taken a while for him to get comfortable with her but Upton managed it. She was caring and compassionate. Protective and fierce just like an Alpha. He hated the fact that Erin was leaving for New York but knew it was best for her. She was starting to spiral out of control and with Hank's advice she had taken the job offer. Jay didn't want another partner but Hailey had proved him wrong. While she wasn't Erin, they were slowly creating a bond.

Hailey reminded him a lot of Evan. The same type of mannerisms displayed between the two. Evan was his world and he would do anything to protect him. Even after long nights at work, Evan's smile could change all of it. Evan was his child. His pup. He would do anything for him.

Evan wore that same smile in that moment as he stared up at his father with his freshly tied shoelaces. It pained him knowing that his son was having nightmares recently. There was nothing he could do to stop it but he could console him. Evan would tell him on those nights that he would smile and tell Jay that he was okay. Yet, the child still asked to sleep next to him.

Jay smiled back at the boy and ran his fingers through his hair. "Alright, grab your bag and jacket and let's get going." Evan nodded at him, running off to the closest to grab what he needed before joining his father at the door. Once they were both loaded up into the car, Jay backed out of the driveway and headed in the direction of Evan's school. "Alright, remember after school to go to Clara's house and I will get you once I get off." Clara Rogers had been Evan's nanny since he was a month hold and when Jay decided to return back to work. He had found her thanks to his father. She had been an old friend of his mother's. According to his father, Clara would watch both him and his brother when his mother had errands to run and needed a break from the two hyperactive pups.

Evan hummed in response but didn't look away from the window. This behavior hadn't been unusal lately. Every time that Evan had one of his nightmares, he would be quiet like this. It worried him. Evan was such an outgoing child that this wasn't normal. Concern filled him every single time he watched his son do this.

It didn't take long before Jay was pulling into Evan's elementary school. Pulling into the drop off lane, he parked the car and hopped out of the front seat. Moving around the truck, he walked over to the door that closed his son inside of the car. Evan was already unbuckled out of his seat as Jay opened the door. "Have fun, Evan." Evan jumped out of the car, adjusting his backpack on his back as he rushed towards the entrance. Jay gave a small chuckle as he called out, "I love you."

Evan smiled as he turned his head to face his father, calling out with, "I love you too, Daddy." Jay watched as Evan disappeared in the mass of bodies before he turned on his heel and got back into the driver's seat. He paused as his phone rang. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled the device out and clicked the accept button.

"Halstead." He said quickly, starting the car and shifting the gear and pulling out of the lane.

"Hey, Jay. I'm sending you an address to meet the team at." It was Voight. Jay felt his stomach tightened as the gravelly voice came through the phone. The Omega took in a deep breath to force the feeling down before he gave his boss a reply.

"Alright. I'll meet you there." With a click of the screen, he hung up and pulled up his messages. Reading the address, he placed his phone back in his pocket and drove out of the parking lot. He recognized the address almost immediately. Riverton Apartments on the edge of Canaryville.

It didn't take long before he was arriving at the location of the crime scene. From first glance, he could see that the rest of the team had already arrived. Hailey was talking with Ruzek and Atwater with Kim and Antonio off to the side talking with Voight and Olinski. He parked his truck next to the car that he quickly identified as Hailey's and hopped out with the door closing behind him.

Walking over to the rest of his team, a bad feeling came to the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right. Hailey was the first to notice his presence and motioned him over. "What do we got?" He questioned, stuffing his cold hands into his pockets.

"Our victim is Hadley Sawyer, shot execution style to the head." Hailey stated, motioning for the others to follow her. They entered through the main doors and went down the hall before stopping at where a body was covered by a white sheet. A grim look was settled on her face as she looked down at the sheet covered body. "He was a patrolmen at the 27th district."

Something about the man's name bugged him. He knew the name but couldn't place the face. Jay kneeled down, reaching out almost hestitantly before finally pulling the cloth away from the victim. "Son of a bitch." He whispered. Behind Sawyer's head was an H written in blood.

Hailey, Ruzek, and Atwater traded looks before looking back down to the kneeling Omega. They could feel the distress starting to come off of him. "Jay?" Hailey asked, her voice soft as she kneeled down next to him.

"I knew him. He was my partner when I was a patrolmen when I first left the Academy." Jay muttered. Hadley Sawyer was a Beta middled aged man. He had been a fresh cop out of the Academy when he had met the patrolmen. They weren't together long before he had been pulled into undercover work. "Our first call working together was to this exact place. A young boy had gone missing but he had just ran off to a friend's house."

Hailey released calming phermones before placing her hand on the upper part of her partner's back. "I'm sorry, Jay." The Alpha looked up to the others with a knowing look. There was something else that Jay wasn't telling them but none of them were going to push it. If Jay thought they needed to know, he would tell them.

Jay only shook his head. "I didn't know him that well." It wasn't necessarily a lie. He had only worked with Sawyer for a month before transferring. He knew the man had been good police and by the books. Sawyer had been the complete opposite of Voight. Voight wasn't afraid to go off script to get the job done. "Has his wife been notified?"

"Patrol went once we made the ID." Ruzek stated, moving from behind the detective to pull the sheet back over the fallen cop. "Homocide is sending over files about two other cases that are similar to this. It took a little talking to but Voight took over the case due to Sawyer."

Jay looked away from the Sawyer's body back up to the wall, his gaze lingering on the bloody H that was directly in front of him. The letter wasn't settliing right. He knew in his gut something was wrong about it. While he couldn't pin point what it was, he did know that it wasn't good. "The H on the wall. Is this new or is it connected to the other two cases."

Ruzek muttered under his breath for a moment as he flipped through his memo book to the page he needed. "The homocide detective that was here said that they made the connection because of it. There were two other letters left at the other two crimes scenes. The first murder happened at Valentino Bar in Beverly. The victims name was Matthew Colace and the letter J left by him." He paused for a moment, flipping the page before continuing, "Victim number two was murdered found in a warehouse in Canaryville. His name was Charles Martin with the M beside him. All letters were in the victims' blood and all shot execution style."

Jay's blood ran cold as Ruzek finished talking. This could not be happening. Not now. Flashes of mental pictures of all the locations came to his mind as he took in a deep breath to keep himself calm. He knew exactly what was going on and it was his worst nightmare.

"Jay?" Ruzek's voice cut through, snapping Jay out of his own mind. "You okay?"

Jay nodded, more quickly than he meant too. "Yeah, I just didn't sleep much last night." Ruzek and Hailey looked to each other, already knowing that it was a clear lie. As much as Jay could easily lie and cover it up, the way that he was reacting was showing all over him. His scent had started to change the moment that Ruzek had mentioned the bar. "Um, I'll be right back."

Jay wasn't sure where his feet were carrying him. His body was moving completely on its own. He could hear the footsteps behind him and he immediately knew exactly who it was. "Jay, wait." Hailey called out, grabbing ahold of Jay's arm to get him to stop. The Omega hulted underneath the command, Hailey immediately had a guilt ridden expression on her face as she realized what she had done. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"It's fine." He muttered. He knew that Hailey didn't use Alpha commands unless if she had too. In this case, Jay wouldn't of stopped anyway so he couldn't exactly be mad.

Hailey looked at her partner, the concern written over her face as she surveyed the Omega. "What is going on? You went pale in there once Ruzek told you about the other victims."

Jay scuffled his feet on the ground, looking over his shoulder to the rest of his team who were still talking among the other officers on the scene. He looked back over to the Alpha and whispered, "Not here." Hailey cocked her eyebrow as she watched Jay walk over to Voight.

"Hey, Voight. I need to talk with a CI that I think will help with this case. I'm going to take Hailey with me." Jay said, hoping his voice didn't give away that he was lying to his boss. Voight gave him the look that Jay and Erin had dubbed the "Voight Stare" before he nodded.

"Okay, let me know if they have anything." Voight replied. It was clear to the Omega that Voight didn't completely believe Jay's half assed lie but yet he didn't say anything. Jay only nodded his head, making his exit away from the Alpha as quick as possible. The pit of his stomach doing flips again just from looking at the man. He mentally slapped himself as he grabbed Hailey's arm and rushed towards his truck. Holes were practically being burned into his back but he refused to look back over towards Voight. He refused to look guilty, even though he had lied to the man.

Voight was a man of many talents. One of those being, reading right through someone's bullshit. He was also one of the most protective Alphas that Jay had ever met. The man would bend over backwards to protect those around him and his city.

Jay finally exhaled the air that he didn't even notice that he was holding the minute he closed the truck door. If he is right about what he was thinking, his son was not safe. He also knew that he couldn't just take his son out of school off of a feeling. That didn't mean that he couldn't drop in and see him.

"Jay? Where are we going?" Hailey questioned, putting her seat belt on as Jay started the truck and took off down the road. The distress continued to come off of the Omega in waves. Whatever was bothering him was not good at all. Jay hardly ever allowed his phermones to seep through and ninety nine percent of the time he wore scent blockers just on the fact he was an Omega. An Omega being a cop wasn't rare but it was still uncommon. Most Omegas tended to stay away from field duty as a cop because of the risks that came with being an Omega working the streets even if it was under the protection of the shield. "If you don't start talking, I'm going to handcuff you to this truck and make you talk." She refused to use another command on him. It wouldn't help the situation. It had slipped before but it had worked. Jay wasn't a trusting person and if she slipped up now, he would never open up to her.

Jay still hadn't spoken a word when she looked at her phone. They had been driving for almost twenty minutes already before Jay pulled off the road. The Alpha looked over to Jay in confusion. "What are we doing at an elementary school?"

Jay took in a shaky breath as he put the truck in park and looked over to the blonde. "Before we go in..." He paused, Hailey's full attention now on him as her face turned from concern to attentive. It felt as if all the words had left him, his mouth going dry as his gaze settled on his partner.

"Jay, I know I'm not Erin but I am your partner. What ever it is, you can trust me with it. If its something to do with the case, you need to tell me so I can help." Hailey stated with sincerity. "You need to talk to someone, Jay. I'll call Erin if I need too."

Now that was definitely a threat but it worked.

The Omega sucked in a breath, looking back over to Hailey before finally saying, "Hailey, this case. It isn't settling right with me."

Hailey gave a soft smile. "I can understand that, a fellow officer just got murdered." The Alpha said softly.

Jay shook his head. "It's not just Sawyer that isn't right. It's everything Ruzek said. The victims, the places, the letters..." He watched as the confusion than understanding flashed over Hailey's face. "I know them all. I knew all the victims. I've been to all those places. I don't even have to know what warehouse it is but at the same time I do."

Hailey frowned. "Jay, slow down. What exactly are you talking about?"

The Omega paused, thinking for a moment trying to clear his head to explain this right. "Valentino Bar, I used to frequent there when I came home from overseas. Matthew Colace had been the bartender there for years." He paused, waiting for Hailey to say something. When she didn't, he continued, "Charles Martin used to be a drug dealer who worked Canaryville, the warehouse was their base of operations. Than of course you know what I know about Hadley Sawyer."

Hailey nodded, taking in the information. "That doesn't explain the letters or the second victim. How did you know him?" The question came out hestitantly, as if she didn't want to know the answer.

"Charles... worked underneath my..." He stopped, his hands shaking at the thought of what he was about to tell Hailey. Only three people knew about him, not even Erin. He managed to keep that part away from her. "Ex-boyfriend. He ran the streets of Canaryville for him." Jay stopped again, watching as Hailey's eyes widen in surprise. "The letters... are my letters of my initals. My full name is Jay Michael Halstead." He listened as Hailey whispered the three letters as she slumped back in the seat. "I got mixed in some pretty bad stuff. I was messed up when I came home. That's how I met him."

Hailey muttered underneath her breath before she looked back over to the Omega. "So you think the case is connected to you." She stated, not even questioning Jay's judgement. "Alright, why are we at a school?"

Jay gave her a grin. "I think you already know."

The Alpha smiled back. "I'm don't like assuming things."

Neither said another word as they exited the truck and headed towards the entrance of the school. Their walk was quiet as Jay walked up to the main office, smiling at the secretary. "Hello, Mr. Halstead. How can I help you today?"

Jay smiled back to her. "I need to pull Evan Halstead out of school for the day." He stated. "We have a family emergency."

The secretary nodded and picked up the phone next to her computer to page for the child. "Yes, Ms. Jeffries, I need Evan to report to the office for a check out." She hung up the phone after a moment and smiled to the detectives. "He'll be here in a moment."

"Thank you." Jay replied, as he pushed away from the desk and walked over to the nearby benches.

Hailey wore a smile on her face at the grin that was plastered over the Omega's face. "So, who is Evan, Mr. Halstead?"

Jay couldn't stop the chuckle that left him. "He's my son." Hailey nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. Jay already knew the question that was on the tip of his partner's tongue. He sighed, already knowing that he could no longer hide it at this point. "Yes, my ex-boyfriend is his father. No his father doesn't know he exists." Jay quickly explained.

Hailey hummed. "Are you sure about that?"

Before Jay could answer, a shout from down the end of the hall caught both of their attention. "Daddy!" Evan's curly hair bounced as he ran down the hall with his backpack flying behind him.

"Don't run in the halls." Jay called out, causing Evan to break from his run to a walk. "That's better." Evan smiled to him as he got up to his father.

"Who is she, daddy?" Evan questioned, his eyes falling on Hailey. Hailey gave him a small wave. "She's pretty. Just like Aunt Erin."

Jay's face was physically hurting from how large his smile was. "This is my partner from work, buddy." He said, ruffling Evan's head of curls.

"I'm Hailey Upton." The Alpha female stated. "Like your daddy said, I'm his partner."

Evan's face broke out into a smile. "So you fight the bad guys together!"

"Exactly." Hailey said, sending a wink at to the child.

The younger Halstead let out a laugh as he turned back to face his father. "Where are we going?"

Jay took in a deep breath as he kneeled down in front of his son. "Something came up at work, so you are coming to the district with me and Hailey, okay?"

Exiting the school, the three headed back towards Jay's truck. Evan walked a few feet ahead of the detectives but close enough that Jay didn't say anything about the distance. Hailey took in a deep breath which caused Jay to look at her. "Jay, I know you had your reasonings for hiding him from us but what are you going to do now? Are you going to tell Voight?" She questioned once they got to the truck. Jay didn't say anything as he got Evan strapped into the back.

Closing the door, he turned back to face the Alpha. "I can't be sure but I just have this gut feeling that something is wrong. I should have told the team a long time ago. Erin wanted me too but I dunno... I guess I was worried that they would look at me different."

Hailey snorted. "I highly doubt that. Voight, Al, and Antonio all have kids. You think they would look at you differently because unlike them you were the one who gave birth to your kid? That's kinda what Omegas do."

Jay released a soft sigh. "You're right. Now I got to explain to Voight my CI is actually my son I just pulled out of school off of a hunch."

The Alpha laughed along with him as they got into the truck. Hailey pulled her phone from her pocket, her eyes scanning over the messages before putting it back in her jacket. "They are heading back to the district." She paused, looking back over to Jay. "Do you honestly think Evan's father could do this?" Jay looked around to anywhere but Hailey. The Alpha seemed to pick up on the behavior, knowing what Jay was going to say. "If you are correct, you need to tell Voight immediately."

Jay exhaled sharply. "I know, and his reaction... I'm not looking forward to that."