Author Notes: Hello again, everyone! Here's a little something to mark the occasion of Severus Snape's birthday. Enjoy :)

Summary: There is one club in Hogwarts that Severus Snape isn't welcomed in. Luckily, three students come to his aid.

Warnings: AU. Discounting the more serious incidents in canon.

Dedication: For Sheankelor, talented HP fanfic writer and good friend, who's gifted me with more stories than I deserve. Thank you, Ree!^^

Rating: 'T' (although K would still be fine)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the brainchild of JK Rowlings.

- Story Start -

It was ten o'clock on a Saturday night and the corridors of Hogwarts were deserted. All students were in their respective common rooms, or should be.

A tabby cat ran along the torch lit corridors, darting from shadow to shadow, gleaming eyes looking from right to left. It was headed for a little used classroom in Ravenclaw Tower, and upon reaching it, took another quick look around.

Then in the blink of an eye, Minerva McGonagall stood there. She straightened her robes, rapped on the door twice before opening it and entering, her movements brisk and decisive.

A circle of desks were arranged in the middle of the room, all but three occupied.

"Good evening, everyone," Minerva said, a little out of breath.

"You made good time, Minerva," Albus greeted from his seat facing the door.

"Evenin', perfesser," Hagrid said.

"Were you followed?" Pomona asked Minerva.

"No."

"Did you run into Peeves?" Filius squeaked.

"No. I heard him knocking over things in the Trophy Room."

"What about Argus? Did he-"

"Oi, I'm right here! That means the Trophy Room is sure to be a mess-"

"So you are. Sorry, old chap."

"What about the Bloody Baron? Did he or-"

"None of the ghosts saw me nor any of the portraits either," Minerva replied tersely.

"I do apologise, my dear," Albus apologised in a contrite tone. "I sound paranoid, but if he should even get a whiff-"

"I know." Minerva crossed the room and took her seat beside him, looking around at the others. "Now, who else is missing?"

A double tap on the door and Irma poked her head in, looking anxious, one hand clutching her black shawl around her shoulders.

"Am I late? I was shelving the books the Ravenclaw sixth years had returned and you know how many they borrow..."

"You are just in time, Irma," Albus told her with a smile. "Please sit down. We are waiting for one other person."

Minerva rolled her eyes.

"It's amazing how she insists she knows what will happen in each session despite missing half of them."

No sooner had the words left her mouth when two soft taps were heard and Sybil Trelawny entered.

"Good evening, everyone," she said in her wispy voice and strurk a pose, the numerous bracelets on her arms jangling. "I sense we will have an addition to our party toni-"

"Sybil, at last," Rolanda said impatiently. "Do close the door and sit down or we'll never get anywhere at this rate."

Sniffing, Sybil flounced to her seat.

Albus closed the door with a wave of his hand before extracting a small cloth bag from his robes and setting in down in front of him. With his elbows resting on the table, he steepled his fingers and smiled around at everyone, bright blue eyes twinkling behind half moon spectacles.

The atmosphere in the classroom was suddenly charged with purpose, with excitement. Everyone sat up straighter, taking a collective breath and leaning forward, eyes bright with anticipation.

"Well then," Albus began. "Now that we are all present, I bid you a very warm welcome to the first session of this year's-"

The door burst open and Severus Snape stood there, a thunderous scowl on his face and lit wand held aloft, the light bright enough to make the others flinch.

"Hah! I knew it! You all were planning the first session tonight!"

Everyone stared at him and then at each other with looks of varying degrees of guilt and resignation on their faces. Then Albus cleared his throat.

"Severus, my boy-"

"Don't 'my boy' me, Headmaster," Severus hissed. "Why wasn't I invited?"

Albus gave a weary sigh, but it was Minerva who answered.

"Because you always want to be Dungeon Master, Severus."

"What's wrong with that?" Severus demanded. "I know all the rules of the game, all the character traits and all the spells. Or nearly all of them. Certainly more than anyone here."

Albus sighed again.

"I don't doubt your knowledge or that remarkable brain of yours, Severus."

"Then what is the problem?"

If it were anyone else but Severus, Minerva would have said that they were sulking.

"One of the problems is because you refuse to role play any of the NPCs*."

"That's not mandatory for the Dungeon Master," Severus said at once.

"Au contraire. A good Dungeon Master does all he or she can to make the game interesting for the players," Albus said with the air of one who had explained this many times before. "And one of the ways is to role play-"

"I will not imitate a lusty, buxomy barmaid!" Severus very nearly roared. "Or a shifty eyed gunpowder selling old man! Or an overly cheerful merchant selling what-have-yous!"

Everyone winced as Severus' deep baritone voice bounced off the stone walls.

"Well," Albus tried again. "Another issue is that you always dictate where the players will travel."

"Of course! I make detailed maps of at least three towns before each game. It would be a waste of my efforts if the players don't go there at all!"

"That would be a pity, Severus, and I certainly appreciate how well prepared you are. But it doesn't change the fact that it is the players who get to decide-"

"I can give them a better adventure! One with more plots! And battles!"

"And that is another reason why you can't be Dungeon Master," Albus pointed out with gentle finality. "I'm sorry, my boy, I really am. But you're always welcome to join us as a player."

Severus looked like he had just sucked on half a dozen lemons, not just one.

"No. Goodnight." He left, shutting the door behind him with a decided snap.

For a long moment, everyone just sighed and exchanged looks heavy with exasperation and regret. Severus Snape was a veritable walking encyclopedia of Dungeon & Dragons rules and regulations, making him an invaluable player, but...

Then Rolanda poked Sybil in the ribs, startling an indignant squawk from her.

"What was that you said about another joining our party tonight?"

"Almost, Rolanda. I said almost," Sybil replied although she refused to meet Rolanda's eyes.

"Really? I didn't hear 'almost'," Rolanda replied, one eyebrow lifted. "Did any of you hear that?"

"Shall we start, Albus?" Minerva asked. "It's getting late even if tomorrow is Sunday."

"Ah yes." Taking a deep breath, Albus nodded and adopted the same pose as before, but the smile under his beard looked strained. "I bid all of you a warm welcome to the first session of this year's D&D game."

But thanks to Severus' interruption, the next two hours were more subdued than it might otherwise have been.

- o -

A week later...

Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley worked in silence, scrubbing and rinsing out the stack of dirty cauldrons piled next to the sink. For once, they weren't alone. Draco Malfoy stood beside them, his thin face twisted in disgust as he scrubbed at a particularly stubborn crust.

It just so happened that in this afternoon's Potions lesson with Gryffindor and Slytherin third years, Snape had turned around at the exact moment Draco tossed a firedrake leaf onto Harry and Ron's worktable, just only missing their cauldron. With the entire class witnessing that blatant attempt at sabotage, Snape had no choice but to assign detention to all three students.

"I'm going to get blisters," Draco complained under his breath, pausing to gingerly touch a small red spot forming on his index finger.

"Like Quidditch doesn't give you any," Ron scoffed, rolling his eyes at Harry.

"Shut up!" Draco snapped at him.

"You shut up!"

Harry sighed and glanced over his shoulder, hoping that Snape was too busy brewing his own potion to pay any attention to them. He didn't relish the idea of earning another detention right after this.

But instead of bending over a cauldron, Snape was sitting on the stool at his table, back towards them and hunched over... something. As if sensing Harry's scrutiny, Snape suddenly froze and looked over his shoulder, his elbow nudging a small cloth bag on the table. Something fell out and onto the stone floor, bouncing once or twice before rolling all the way to Harry's sneakered foot.

He stared down at it. So did Ron and Draco.

"Is that a-" Harry began.

"-D10 dice-" Ron continued.

"-used in muggle D&D games?" Draco finished.

They all looked at one another and then at Snape who had shot to his feet, looking almost horrified.

"Accio dice!"

The incriminating item bounced up, hitting Ron in the nose before zooming towards Snape. He caught it and stuffed inside the cloth bag which then vanished into his pocket a second later.

The three students exchanged looks again. It was Draco who spoke next, his thin face alight with excitement.

"Do you play D&D, sir?"

"What's your favourite role?" Ron wanted to know.

Harry just stared at Snape.

"The Dungeon Master," he said slowly. "That's who you want to be, isn't it? Sir?"

- o -

A month later...

"You don't have to use falsetto all the time," Harry said, hastily adding 'sir'.

"Exactly," Draco added. "Potter is right for once."

"For once?" Ron looked at Harry. "For once, he says."

"It's how you look and how you move," Draco continued, ignoring them. "The pitch of your voice isn't all that important."

Snape glared at all three of them, lips pressed in a thin line.

"It's simple. Look, just do something like this." Removing his glasses, Harry dropped one shoulder and looked over it at Draco, green eyes closing just a bit, the tip of a pink tongue showing between his lips. "So, what'll it be, blondie?"

Draco blinked at him and then his pale cheeks went a sudden pink. Snickering, Ron nudged his shoulder and got a scowl and a shove in return.

"I... I can't do that!" Snape looked scandalised.

"'Course you can," Ron told him. "You just need to practice. Sir."

"And forget about being a professor or an adult," Harry added, wearing back his glasses and then taking it off again to wipe the lens on his shirt. "All the other players are professors too."

"Except for Pomfrey, Filch and Pince," Ron pointed out.

"Good point. But they're still adults."

"Hogwarts staff," Draco said.

"Let..."

They turned as one to Snape whose hands were tightly fisted by his side.

"Let me try."

- o -

Mid September the following year...

"Good evening, everyone," Severus intoned. "As Dungeon Master, I bid you all a warm welcome to the first session of this year's Dungeons and Dragons game."

Everyone applauded and cheered with genuine smiles and bright eyes.

"I have several adventures for you to choose from, but describe your characters first," Severus continued. "Starting with you, Albus."

Albus' eyes twinkled brightly.

"Well then! I am a female half elf, tall and willowy," he began. "My parents were killed when I was a child, leaving me to fend for myself..."

- Story End -

A/N: Thank you for reading! My knowledge of D&D is rudimentary at best so please excuse any errors. Do leave a review if you enjoyed it :)

*NPCs - A non-player character is any character in a game which is not controlled by a player (source: Google Search)