CHAPTER NINETY

(JPOV)

I caught the very last end of the conversation between my father and Bella and before making my presence known, I lingered there just outside the door, already feeling a bit guilty for eavesdropping on their talk.

"...-essentially it's not tangible and while I know that-I also know that when I'm with Jacob, my pain is better. Sometimes non-existent, but then it shows back up and it just reminds me that I'm not free from it."

I held my breath at this, as my mind went over how bad off she'd been just hours ago. I hated seeing her in that much pain and it made me wonder how the hell she'd tolerated it all on her own for as long as she had.

"Not yet-"

I could hear the solid hope that was evident there in his tone with her when he responded and I knew that she could, too.

"Billy-" Bella countered, as I pushed away from the wall and stepped into the room with them.

"Do you believe, Bella? Really believe?"

She looked to me before she could bring herself to respond, and I saw the timid way her gaze fell to the floor again, as if she were afraid to believe that there could be an end to her suffering after all these years.

After a few more fleeting seconds of her deafening silence, she raised her head and held my gaze there in the doorway, her pale cheeks filling with a beautiful rosy color when she spoke her meek reply.

"I believe in Jacob- in us- in what the two of us have together."

"That's enough, dear girl. That's enough." Billy told her, as he wheeled himself over to me with Clarissa. I took one look at her and felt my heart shatter all over again- for what seemed like the tenth time today already.

Lately, I found it hard for me to not study her features a little more closely than I ever had before. I could see so much of myself and Lilly there, but right now, I couldn't help but wonder if that was nothing more than my wishful thinking. My minds way of creating a proven outward confirmation of the fact that she really was mine.

In my heart and soul she was. I had never known any truer form of love than when she was born. It turned my whole world upside down and in the best way. I wouldn't have traded a single sleepless night for anything less. While it was true that some of the pack - mainly Paul and Embry- were still hell bent on seeing how many one night stands they could acquire before reaching thirty, I was more content to be at home putting Clarissa to bed for the night. I found out that things change when you have a little girl of your own. You see things in a different way and it alters your perspective about almost everything in life. Things that used to roll off my shoulders, like some of wild stories from Pauls many conquests at the local bar, now unnerved me, because that nameless, barely legal, bombshell blonde he talked about taking in any way but backwards, was someone's daughter. Trust me, this line of thinking wasn't hidden from the pack, cause nothing could be, and I definitely caught my fair share of hell for it from the guys. Well, all of them with the exception of Sam and Seth. Sue had raised him with a real sense of respect and he never gave me shit like the others. Sometimes he'd even add in his own two cents, claiming all of them would have a change of heart once they had a daughter of their own someday and to lay off me for a bit. I was proud of the man Seth had turned into and I knew Harry would have been too.

I lifted Clarissa out of Billy's arms and kissed her forehead as a tension filled silence settled over Bella's room.

I knew the question was coming, but it didn't take the sting out of it when it finally did arrive from my father.

"You meeting Gentry today?"

"Yeah." I managed, struggling to clear the lump from my throat and ease the tightness in my chest from his seemingly simple question.

I could only look down at Clarissa's sweet face while Bella got to her feet and handed her one of her favorite toy rattles. Clarissa shook it with a dimpled grin that mirrored my own and I forced a smile back to her in return.

"What time, son?"

"Soon."

"Do you want me to fix you something to eat before you go?" Bella kindly offered, her face full of the same kind of worry that had been plaguing my own all damn day.

"No, honey. Thanks though. Don't have much of an appetite right now. Maybe later?"

"Sure." She replied, leaning up on her tip toes and pressing her soft lips to mine. I drew her into my side and kissed her back with a little too much eagerness for my fathers liking. The sound of his throat clearing made Bella blush again once I released her.

"Hey now. That's enough. Still here in the room, you know." Billy teased and Bella merely shook her head at his antics, before she left the room to make something for lunch for everyone else.

Once she was gone from listening range, Billy wheeled himself closer to me and glanced up at me with an anxious look.

"Need me to come with you? I would you know?" He offered.

"I know you would, but no dad. I think that would only make this worse. No disrespect." I countered, as he nodded to me in silent understanding.

I had only told Billy a few of the major details about my time at Gentrys while I was healing, and he wasn't surprised when I told him about the imprint between he and Lilly. He claimed that given the pull between them, Lilly would have been hard pressed to fight it, but that this didn't excuse their sneaking around for as long as they had. As furious as I was at first, given the few days since learning the truth I'd had to mull it over some more, I couldn't bring myself to truly hate Gentry for his actions. This was mainly because not only was he my brother, but I already knew deep down that if Bella had come back into my life before she did, it would've been beyond difficult for me to keep away from her. Even if I knew it was dead wrong. Damn, she would've made it hard to stay faithful and that made me no different than Gentry if I was being honest.

"You really think there's a chance-

"Yeah, I do. Hard to ignore what's right in front of you." I tensely replied to Billy, noting the grim returning look he gave me.

"I know that boy hates me, but I don't feel the same way about him. He's my son, too."

"That's why I think you should stay as far out of this whole mess as possible. If it gets ugly, I don't want you guilt ridden over not sticking on my side-"

"I am always on your side-" Billy adamantly countered.

"You can't do that in this case and you know why-"

Billy dropped his head and looked away from me at this, his eyes full of true regret with his reply.

"You don't know how much I wish I could go back and erase what I did. Cheating on your mother almost cost me everything, and that's not your fault or Gentry's. But Jacob, hear me when I tell you this, if things get bad, you know where my loyalty is and I'll go to the grave with it."

He released my arm and headed for the kitchen then, where Bella and Charlie were, leaving me with his parting words to ponder as I mentally geared up to make the run toward the border.

I knew Gentry would already be waiting for me there when I arrived.

I took a few more minutes in Bella's room to silently collect my thoughts and when a pair of arms soon encircled me from behind, I closed my eyes and took comfort in her closeness.

"I can't imagine what you're thinking or feeling-" Bella began, resting her head against my back, as I gazed to the floor where her suitcase was placed.

"I don't want to do this." I admitted, my tone strained and hoarse now.

I felt her arms tighten around me and for the second time now, I was reminded of how she held me together in ways I didn't think she was even aware of.

"I hate this for you. I do- but if you don't push the issue with him and find out, you'll always wonder in the back of your mind what the truth is. I don't want that for you, either."

My chest painfully tightened when she said this and I swallowed hard while trying to ignore the unease that was making me nauseated to think about.

Bella moved herself out in front of me at my silence, her hands reaching up to tenderly cradle my face and redirect my gaze to hers.

"If she's not mine, if we do the test and it turns out that she's his-..." I couldn't bring myself to finish the thought then, my words feeling permanently stuck, as my mind pushed forward the unwanted images of how this could all play out.

"You don't know that-... don't do that to yourself-" She whispered, as her steady gaze searched mine. "We're gonna believe that she's yours until proven otherwise."

I drew in a heavy breath as Bella leaned up and wrapped her arms around my neck, her closeness enough to pull me back from the brink of an all out anxiety attack.

"I'm not strong enough for this-" I choked out to her.

"You don't have to be. That's what I'm here for." She softly countered, as my arms pulled her up against me in the kind of tight hug that made me recall all the times when we were teenagers, and I felt like my whole world was crumbling beneath me. She was all I craved at that time. The sound of her voice back then had been enough to stop that raging sea in me, and to this day, it still was.

It always would be.

She was what made sense to me, even when I couldn't make sense of myself sometimes.

"I'd be lost without you, Bells."

"Same." She whispered, as she reluctantly pulled back, the feel of her breath against my mouth enough to make me briefly lose my focus. I drew her lips to mine and heard her breath hitch when my hand slid further up her back and went into her hair. Our kiss was long and languid, and after a few more minutes, I started to forget that we weren't alone like before.

Her feet left the ground when I pulled her further up my body, her slim frame pressed tightly to mine as her tongue met my own with a whimper that sent heat coursing through me. I backed us up and pressed her into the wall, as my hand caught hold of the door and swung it closed with one push.

She wrapped her legs around my waist and in that moment, I wanted her more than my next breath.

The sound of footsteps heading down the hall, stopped us cold then and Bella pried herself away from me. She slowly slid down my body while I hesitantly placed her back on her feet. There was a knock to the door, followed by Charlie's voice and I tried like hell to ignore the obvious affect she had on me.

Hell, was I aching for more of her again. I shook my head and cleared the haze from my mind the best I could.

"Hey, Bella. The oven timer is going off. Want me to pull out that chicken casserole for you?"

I held back a chuckle and reached for her while she buried her face into my chest with her answer to him.

"Yes, dad. I'll be right there."

"Never a dull moment." I mused, kissing her once more before opening the door as Charlie walked away. "I'll be back before dinner, honey."

"Okay, I'll be thinking of you. It's gonna be okay, Jake."

I nodded as we parted ways then and headed for the outdoors. I tore off for the snowy forest and phased mid-run. My paws pounded the snow as I flew with new speed through the trail that took me straight to the Maine border. I'd run this section of forest so many times now that I could do so with my eyes closed if I had to.

It wasn't long before Gentry's mind linked with mine and he came into view ahead of me. I slowed my run when I saw him, his massive bear frame pacing back and forth beneath a large tree that hugged the border there.

"-bout time you showed." He asserted, his tone hostile with me when I got closer.

"You're damn lucky I came at all."

"I left you a half a dozen messages-" He huffed my way.

"I got them all. Why the hell do you think I'm here?" I bit back with a low snarl.

"Are we gonna fight like before, cause if that's what you want, you know I'm more than ready." Gentry roared and I eagerly took on his challenge, my ears laid fully back as we came head to head.

"So am I."

"Fine, come on, Jake!" He huffed, swiping one of his massive paws in the snow beneath us.

I sunk down further then with snarls coming from me as he met my angry glare. I was ready to attack him when Clarissa's face suddenly came to the forefront of my mind, effectively stopping us both. Gentry huffed loudly and pulled away first, his stance of defense sharply changing when the shared thought reached him.

He misread it, and I watched the anger for me leave him in an instant as he stepped forward again.

"What's wrong with Clarissa? Is she sick-"

I inwardly cringed at his worried tone for her, the sound of it striking a nerve in me.

He cared for her.

"No- she's not sick. She's home with Bella. Nothing's wrong with her." I clarified.

Gentry shook his massive head at me and hunkered down in front of the tree then, his gaze still somewhat hostile when it met mine.

"-but she's the real reason why you came here to meet me...-" He began.

"You know why I'm here. Don't pretend for my benefit that you don't." I snapped.

"I wanted you here so we could finally put this to rest. I don't want things to be like this with us. You're all the family I've got."

I tore my gaze from his, unable to respond and letting my memories through our shared mind do all the talking for me instead.

Lillian came first, her face glowing when she told me we were pregnant, followed by the day she went into labor with Clarissa. The memories were fast, but easy to follow, and they led all the way up to our accident, and ended with the fallout we'd had just days prior at his house.

Gentry huffed profusely as I held his gaze, his sturdy stance faltering some under the weight of the memories for him.

"What? What the hell are you trying to say? Huh? You-... You think Clarissa is mine?"

His tone was laced with a shock that left me angry, as if he hadn't pondered it before.

I nodded once with a returning growl and started to back away from him when he charged forward.

"She is your daughter, Jake."

That did it, his arrogance pushed me to the edge and I lunged for him, plowing us both into to snow. We rolled and rolled again until I got the upper hand and tore away a chunk of his fur. He pushed me off into the base of the large tree and it knocked the wind out of me.

"Like you've never considered the idea-..." I yelled, getting back on my feet as we started to circle each other with menacing snarls that echoed out around us.

"Considered it, yes. But that doesn't mean-"

"Timing is spot on, Gentry. I won't pretend like you have."

"I'm not pretending and even if it was the case, you and I both damn well know that I'm not father material like you are. She belongs with you. End of story."

I was ready to lose it when I retreated from him and phased back to human form, pulling on my tattered cut offs and seeing him do the same as we both stepped out of the tree cover at the same time.

I was tired of having this discussion through our linked minds alone and wanted to do it face to face now.

"Are you telling me that you've had a suspicion all along about Clarissa being yours, but didn't act on it for the sole fact that you didn't want the responsibility?" I fumed, my tone lethal with him.

"No- yes- I mean-I don't know!" He half yelled to me.

"Which is it?"

"Yes, I've thought about it being a possibility, but there's no way-"

"There is a way!" I snapped, closing the large distance between us in three long strides and bringing us nose to nose.

"You're her father. It takes more than just DNA to be someone's dad! She is where she should be. With you."

"I want a paternity test done and you're gonna give me one. For Clarissa's sake, too." I demanded, seething pissed with him.

"No fucking way." He sourly countered. "You're crazy! Last I checked, you need willing participants for that all the way around, and I am not doing it. Lilly wouldn't want-"

"You don't know what she'd want." I bit back. "and one way or another, we're getting it done. I have to know, Gentry!"

"You just can't be content, can you!? Let it be, Jake! She's loved and cared for by you! Her father! That role isn't mine and it never would be no matter what the hell a damn paternity test showed! DNA is just one factor and part of being someone's father. Look at me! Look at my life! Shit, I can barely keep myself together and my head above water with the farm as it is. That's no place for a child! No way to be brought up!"

I staggered back a few steps from his angered reply, my hands balled tightly into fists while his words registered to me.

"Are you saying you don't want to know!?" I huffed to him in disbelief. "-because you don't want her?"

Gentry's face fell at this and he started to turn from me. He only got a few feet before I grabbed his arm and halted his steps.

"Don't-..." He seethed to me in warning, but I didn't listen. I stepped in front of him, my whole body shaking with tremors now.

"That's exactly what you're saying. That you don't want her. What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I told you! I'm not a father! Never will be. So, you can save us all the heartache and time and just stop with all this bullshit about her being mine. Clarissa is your daughter and that's the way it will stay. If you think I'm gonna do some kind of blood test and that I'd want to take her from you as a result, you're wrong. I know Lilly would want what's best for Clarissa, and that's you, Jake. I don't need any test to tell me that."

"You don't care about anyone but yourself!" I accused, seeing the anger in his face as he moved himself closer to me.

"Don't you think I know what's going to happen next? You're going to go back to Washington with Bella. The two of you will finally have the kind of life you should have had all along and Jake, you'll be able to give Clarissa the home she damn well deserves. Anything else isn't even worth giving a thought to. So yeah, I guess that makes me selfish to want such a life for her!"

He turned away from me then and swiftly started to leave, but I spoke up again before he could vanish from sight.

"She deserves to know, Gentry. Just like you did! And as much as it kills me to say this to you, don't deny her that. You don't want her to grow up and be in the same miserable and unhappy place you are with Billy, and it could happen. Cause no matter the kind of life I give her, when she gets older, she'll start to sense that something is missing and she'll come looking for you. So, please...- will you just swallow your damn selfish pride and do this for her... for Lilly. If not for anything else."

Gentry paused then and was silent for a few more moments. I felt my jaw clench when he looked over his shoulder with his parting words to me seconds before he phased back again.

"It was good to see you, Jake. Take care of Bella and Clarissa. I know you will. Safe travels back to Washington when you leave."

A/N: Thank you for reading this and please leave your thoughts in a review about Gentry and Jacobs heated exchange in this chapter. Where should Jacob go from here? :-) Find out more tomorrow... till then my lovely readers... till then!