And in the death of her reputation

She felt truly alive.

~ Taylor Swift, Why She Disappeared(Poem)

BPOV

"Edward," I whispered in to the darkness. It was early, so early the darkness engulfing the room made it feel late instead. I had been awake for at least an hour, listening to his steady breathing and hoping it would lull me back to sleep. Obviously, that hadn't been the case.

I whispered his name again, running a hand down his bare chest. His breathing changed, just a tad, and I knew he was awake. "Do you want to go for a hike?"

My question must have caught him off guard, because his eyes slowly, sleepily, popped open. "Do you?" he asked, voice thick with sleep.

"Yeah. Come on," I smiled down at him, hopping out of bed. I pulled on a pair of comfortable, well-worn jean shorts and threw a jacket over my t-shirt. I left Edward in the bedroom to get dressed, skipping downstairs to make a quick thermos of hot chocolate to take with us.

It wasn't cold by any means, not compared to Chicago this time of year. But, it would be comforting. I stuffed the thermos in a small designer backpack I found in my closet. I shook my head as I pulled it out, having absolutely no memory of even purchasing it. The intricate LV logo embossed on it told me it cost more than most people's rent for a couple months.

Edward came down, smiling softly at me from across the kitchen counter. "So, you hike?"

I smiled over at him, walking around to press a kiss to the soft, sleepy pout on his lips. I watched as Edward locked the front door behind us, eyes falling to the gun he had stashed haphazardly in his waistband. It had been a long time since I had ever thought about them. He was always armed and it never really bothered me. Funny how getting shot a couple times was all it took for me to be comfortable around my gun-wielding then-boyfriend.

I wrapped my arm through his, hugging myself as close to him as I could while still being able to walk without tripping over my own two feet. "There's a private trail just up here," I told him, turning to the left out of my gate. "Only people who live in the neighborhood have access to it."

We walked in comfortable silence. I snuck a glance over at Edward a few times and found a relaxed smile on his face. The hill was fairly steep, and he kept a firm grip on my hand the whole time. It was only about a twenty-minute hike to my favorite spot.

It had been a long fucking time since I had been up here, but I was glad to see it still looked the same for the most part. The bench was still there, overlooking the rolling hills beneath us. The perfect spot to watch the sunrise.

We sat on the bench and I pulled out the thermos, taking a small sip before passing it to Edward. I crossed my legs beneath me, smiling out at the view.

"I used to come up here a lot. Before," I muttered. Before. Before a lot of things. Some good, some horrible.

"Dangerous for a woman to hike up here alone," Edward replied, no-so-subtly telling me never to come up here again alone.

I shrugged, smirking over at him. "That was before I became prone to stalkers and rogue cops and estranged fathers."

Edward passed me back the hot chocolate and I set it on the bench beside me. I rested my head on his shoulder, playing idly with his silver wedding band around his ring finger. I pulled it off gently, twirling it between my fingers and smiling at the light band of skin on his finger. Skin that hadn't seemed to see the sunlight in years.

"Feels weird," Edward mumbled, clenching his hand. "Not having it on."

I smiled to myself, sliding it carefully back in place. I took my rings off all the time. I never kept them on during shows because I didn't want them getting pulled off of my finger or flung across the stage. Showers, working out… I always stashed them somewhere safe so nothing happened to them. Thinking back, I wasn't sure if I had ever seen Edward without it since our wedding.

Sitting up, I clasped my hands in my lap and started fiddling with my own wedding rings. "I'm really happy," I blurted out, the sun just starting to brighten up the edge of the horizon.

Edward looked over at me, surprise and hope glistening in his eyes.

"I used to sit up here and be scared of what would happen the next day. I was constantly scared my career would flatline and I'd be forced to move back to Forks, always nervous about a hundred other things that could go wrong. I was always resigned to the fact that choosing acting over basically any other career meant I'd always be living down in that house alone.

"I love my job. Used to think it was all I needed to be somewhat happy. But last night, when I couldn't sleep, I started thinking about my happiest memories and none of them are work related anymore."

I could feel his eyes on me, burning in to me like no one else's ever could. I kept my eyes on the sunrise, though. Smiling at the deep orange fading to yellow expanding over the horizon.

"What are they?" Edward asked, his voice thick and unsteady. "Your happiest memories?"

"Let's see," I mumbled, trying to organize them in my mind. "Number one would be our wedding day. The ceremony was beautiful, but I just liked getting to finally call you my husband. Two would be seeing you on the island after…" my voice cracked and I quickly moved down my list. "Three is probably the first weekend we spent here together. You were sweet and asked me a million questions about myself that you could have found online if you wanted to. But you didn't."

I made the mistake of looking over at Edward and got distracted from my list. He smirked at me, that half smirk that never failed to make my mind mush, so I turned my eyes back to the sunrise. "Four is probably… the night we were officially back in Chicago from the island. Not because of reputation or anything, but it was nice to have a house full of people. We met Alec and Maggie and Jared and it was one of the first times I realized I really had a big family.

"Five is that night in New York, at Alice's birthday party. You picked me up off of the floor and I was crying and screaming at you but you didn't care. You yelled at me because you thought I was high and then showed me that you're not all that scary after all."

The sun broke over the horizon, and I squinted my eyes. Optometrist's would have scolded me for powering through the blinding light, but it was too pretty to look away from.

"That's quite the list," Edward coughed, clearing his throat. He grabbed my hand, his pressure light as he flipped it over and ran a finger over the tiny Oscar statue I had inked in my wrist. "This doesn't make it? Tomorrow won't edge one of those out if you become the most awarded woman at the history of the Academy Awards?"

I shrugged and whispered, "I already won, Edward."

I looked down at my hands, not needing to look up to see his confusion. "The world doesn't hate me anymore. The first thing people think when they hear my name isn't 'she should be in prison.' Usually. I have a better husband and family than I ever could have hoped for."

My eyes went back up to the horizon, the bright oranges and yellow welcoming a clear blue sky. "I'm good," I said with a shrug. "I won."

We were quiet for a few minutes until Edward gently lifted my chin. He stared down at me, eyes swirling with everything from wonder to self-doubt. His thumb wiped away a few stray tears I hadn't realized fell down my cheeks.

"I…" he stammered, in a very un-Edward like fashion. I wasn't sure if I had ever seen him at a loss for words.

"I know," I vowed, leaning up to press my lips softly to his. I really did intend for it to be a soft, simple kiss. I wasn't quite sure how it ended up with me straddling Edward on the bench with my tongue down his throat.

My hips involuntarily rolled over his, eliciting the most delicious groan out of Edward. He pulled away from our kiss, head falling against the bench. I moved my attention down to his neck.

"We had a very clear conversation about sex in public being off the table from now on," he grunted, his hands suddenly on my hips and keeping me from moving. "I haven't had you in weeks and I know you're… off limits until tomorrow is over."

I blinked down at him. We did have a conversation about sex in public, on the island when I remembered my unfortunate admission on the witness stand about our tryst in his office. It wasn't like we were constantly going at it in public, but there had been a time or two where we didn't really think about the consequences.

It had been weeks. Too many of them since the last time I had been with my husband. Between Super Bowl rehearsals and award shows every Sunday and Edward having to still be in Chicago most of the time, there hadn't been much time for ourselves. The last time we spent the night together had been when I presented him his award.

I was usually a nervous wreck before big appearances. Got nervous about winning or losing at things like tomorrow. This time, though, I didn't care. I would leave just as happy if I lost as if I had won. For the most part. I wanted to win, sure, but I didn't need it to be happy with myself and my work.

"Take me home, Edward," I pleaded, smiling down at him with my forehead pressed against his. He was about to protest, probably thinking I was hooked on the whole 'no sex before an event' thing, but I couldn't have cared less. "Please."

It was a miracle neither of us broke something on our hike back down to the house. I knew I had to look a mess with twigs and leaves in my hair from the multitude of times I ended up pressed against a tree. Still, as we stumbled through the front door Edward stared down at me like I was the answer to all of his problems.

He lifted me, easily supporting my weight as my legs wrapped around his waist. I peppered kisses across his cheeks, down the bridge of his nose, everywhere I could reach while he walked us upstairs.

Edward plopped me down on the counter in the master ensuite. It was nowhere near as large as ours back home in Chicago, but it was still roomy. A deep chuckle escaped out of him, his hands going for my hair and tossing a few leaves in the sink beside me.

Clothes were shed by desperate hands and then I was in the shower, surrounded by steam and Edward. He hovered over me, my back against the cold tile. He was thinking too much, I could tell, so I wrapped his cock in a firm grip.

His forehead fell to my shoulder, hands to my waist. I smiled to myself when his hips started thrusting against my hand. After a few minutes his own hand crept down my abdomen, fingers not hesitating to slip inside me. Edward's resulting groan made my toes curl.

"Up you go," he muttered, hands gripping the back of my thighs and lifting me with ease. He slid inside me, much too slow for my liking, but the cocky smirk on his face told me he knew exactly what he was doing.

His movements were slow. My fingers clenched around his back with every one of them. I kept my eyes on his, smiling softly to myself every time they threatened to roll back in to his head.

"My list is nearly identical," he hissed, leaning forward and nipping at my shoulder. It took me a moment to realize what list he was talking about. Five happiest memories.

"Except instead of our first night in Chicago, it was a night I had you just like this."

My breaths started coming out in pants and I had to work on focusing on what he was saying.

"You didn't know about me yet. You stared up at me, hair dripping down your face and looking so fucking pretty I couldn't believe you were mine. You asked me about work and I couldn't tell you the truth but you tried to fix my problems anyway. And I knew. Knew I could never survive losing you, knew I had fallen in love with you."

I cut him off with a kiss before he could say anything else. My hand fell against the glass door with a smack, looking for anything to hold on to. I moaned his name when his hips got more insistent and his lips found the sensitive spot on my neck.

"I know, baby," he groaned, hands tight on my thighs.

I came with a silent scream, biting too hard into Edward's shoulder. He grunted out a curse with his own release.

I stood on shaky legs, grabbing a washcloth and working on washing Edward. It was a difficult task, considering he refused any space between us and constantly peppered kisses across my face.

I smiled up at him, enjoying his playful side. He didn't need to say it for me to know we were on the same page. He was happy, too.

…rep…

"Are you nervous? About tomorrow?" Alice asked, swirling her last sip of wine around her glass. We'd had a wonderful afternoon. I had booked Alice, Rose, Maggie, and I at the most outrageously expensive spa in Los Angeles. It had been an afternoon of massages and facials and painted nails. It was a complete waste on me, considering I had someone coming in tomorrow morning to give me a whole other manicure that would go perfectly with my dress, but it made for a fun afternoon.

I shrugged, smiling down at my hands remembering this morning with Edward. It felt like that normalcy I had been dying for was finally here even though I still had a good three days until I was home in Chicago.

"I think the last few months have killed every ounce of nerves I had in me," I sighed. It had been a constant string of one nerve-wracking activity after the next. The Super Bowl performance last weekend had been what did it; made it so everything else seemed so easy.

I still had a performance to do without making a fool of myself, and I was still going to be a live tripping hazard until tomorrow night was over, but those things all seemed incredibly doable now.

Our spa day had ended with lunch downtown. The entire city was buzzing. Paparazzi were around every fucking corner because so many people were in town for tomorrow. All throughout lunch I felt eyes on me, but it was a feeling I was used to.

"Or Edward's just incredibly good in bed," Rose muttered under her breath, thankfully waiting until Maggie had excused herself for the restroom. I stared over at her, eyes wide. "Oh, please. You were glowing when you walked in this morning. Lucky bitch."

There was no use in denying it so I shrugged and smiled, grabbing my nearly empty glass of wine and taking a sip. "Three times this morning," I admitted quietly.

Alice repeated Rose's sentiment of lucky bitch and I couldn't argue. I was late to the spa because, even given our early hike, Edward's wandering hands and convincing smirks had me leaving the house late.

Our waiter approached us then, clearing a few plates. "Could we have our check, please?"

"Your tab was just paid, Mrs. Cullen," he said uncomfortably.

I frowned. "By who?"

"Good afternoon, ladies," a slimy, cold voice said. Approaching our table was none other than Colton Shay.

I rolled my eyes, pulling my credit card out of my wallet. "Cancel his card. Put it on this."

The waiter took it without another word, probably eager to get as far away from us as possible.

"Colton Shay," I greeted, smiling in his direction as he stood over Maggie's empty. Thank goodness she's not here.

"You fucking bitch," he grunted under his breath.

I kept a smile on my face, knowing it would piss him off. "I heard half of your clients got to leave you thanks to a morality clause you had in your contract. I have to say, it was ballsy for a piece of shit like you to put a morality clause in there."

The waiter returned, face pale as he dropped my card and receipt on the table. I sighed it quickly, standing and dropping my wallet back in my purse. Alice and Rose stood with me, Maggie reappearing beside Alice.

"I'll meet you guys up front," I told them, relieved when they quickly grabbed Maggie and left.

Shay stepped around the table, in front of me. "I'm going to ruin you."

I had no control over the loud laugh that escaped. "Oh, I can ruin my reputation just fine on my own, thanks. You've got nothing worse on me than I've already put out there myself. You can't touch me."

The signs were easy to see. Flared nostrils, dilated pupils, hands in tight fists by his side. If we weren't in a public place I'd probably have a nice black eye or broken nose by now.

"It's no fucking wonder people are always trying to get rid of you," he spat out.

I shrugged, knowing all too well how many times people had tried to kill me. One of his hands twitched and I smirked.

"The second you touch me that man three paces behind you is going to have you on the ground in excruciating pain. Then, I can guarantee, in about twelve to twenty-four hours you'll be dead."

I could convince my husband not to kill someone over a rumor or something that happened years ago, but I knew there would be no talking sense in to him if Shay actually touched me. Not that I would bother at that point, but still. I slung my bag over my shoulder, smiling as the rage in his eyes evaporated and turned in to fear.

"Thanks for stopping by, Colton. I'll see you in hell," I said pleasantly, smiling as I walked past his frozen frame. With a nod to Ben he followed me out.

The rest of the day was much less exciting than the first half. Ben dropped the girls back off at their hotel and I headed out to do a final soundcheck and rehearsal for tomorrow night. Still, my nerves never caught up to me.

We were all meeting for a celebratory dinner tonight. I didn't relish in the thought of a whole dinner devoted to me, but with so many people I knew conversation would be all over the place. Besides the family, Heidi, Kate, and Claire would also be there.

When I got home after rehearsal Edward was on the phone in the kitchen, barely keeping his temper with whoever it was. I greeted him with a quick kiss to his cheek before heading off to get ready for tonight.

I was sitting at my vanity in my ensuite, finishing my makeup when Edward walked in. I saw him through the mirror, leaning against the door frame behind me.

"I have a very vivid memory of you sitting there."

"I sit here all the time," I replied with a patient smile.

"This was after the first time I had you. On that bed right over there. Gloriously naked and screaming my name."

My breathing sped up and I had to remind myself I was already running late. I forced myself to look away from him, brushing past him to the closet to get dressed. "Well, if you're taking a trip down memory lane you'll be happy to know the restaurant Kate reserved for tonight is the same one we went that night."

Before I could make it to where my dress was hanging I was pressed against the wall beside the door. My robe loosened, sliding down one shoulder much to Edward's enjoyment. He leaned down, nose running down my neck and following my shoulder.

"I've really fucking missed you," he admitted softly.

The last few months really had been the most hectic of my life. I hadn't been a very attentive or present wife, but I also knew Edward understood it all, too. Still, it didn't mean I wasn't going to have some making up to do once we got home.

"I missed you, too," I whispered, squeezing his biceps as he leaned over me. "We're supposed to leave in ten minutes."

"We can be a few minutes late," he shrugged, picking me up with ease.

"Edward!" I shouted in surprise. "We really don't have time."

He deposited me on the bed, pulling my legs up to rest against his chest.

"Hate being late," I mumbled to myself, getting immediately distracted as his hands slid along my legs, teeth nipping at my ankles.

Smooth fingers tugged open my robe. My ankles fell from his shoulders as he leaned over me, kissing his way down my chest until he decided to torment my breasts with nipping teeth and roaming hands.

"Say the word and you can go get dressed right now," he murmured against my skin. I could feel him smile against me, knowing he had already won.

My fingers knotted in his hair, tugging him closer and giving him my answer.

"That's my girl."

An hour later we hurried into the restaurant, past the hoard of photographers waiting outside. This time, Edward held my hand and took the brunt of the photos, constantly angling himself in the way of the lenses as we walked. The simple act made my stomach fill with butterflies.

Somehow, it felt like the first time all over again. Maybe it was the day of sex and massages, and realizations, but I wasn't even flustered at being half an hour late. There were hugs and knowing smirks from Alice and Rose and an embarrassing round of congratulations from everyone as we sat down.

"I failed to mention how heart-breakingly beautiful you look tonight," Edward whispered to me, his hand coming to rest indecently high on my thigh.

I really should have chosen a different dress after his inability to control himself before we left. I would have, if I had the time. I loved the dress but hated the torture the cut was going to force me to endure.

The dress was covered in intricate beaded triangles with a white V-neck halter top and black high-low skirt. The skirt wrapped around the front, billowing open halfway down my thigh. Exactly where Edward's hand was rested now.

"You are incredibly insatiable today," I mumbled, crossing my legs.

Edward winked at me as Kate stood and got everyone's attention.

"It's a rare opportunity, Bella agreeing not only to a party but a party to celebrate her."

"It's a family dinner," I interrupted.

"Oh, shut up," Rose grumbled playfully from across the table.

"So," Kate continued, glaring at me. "I made a list of all of the notable things she's achieved the last year so I didn't forget anything."

My cheeks burned incessantly as Kate ran down the list. The girl even had it printed out and everything, just to embarrass me probably.

First album to debut with 1M pure copies in two years.

Most first week views for a Netflix film.

All fifteen songs from reputation debuted on the Billboard Hot 100.

All songs from Lover debuted on the Billboard Hot 100, less than six months after reputation.

Highest grossing US tour by a woman in the last twenty years.

Most viewed Super Bowl Halftime show to date.

Only woman director nominated at the Academy Awards this year.

"And," Kate finished, smirking over at me. "By this time tomorrow she'll be the most awarded woman in the history of the Academy Awards."

"I haven't won anything, yet," I mumbled, begrudgingly clinking my glass with Edward.

I was proud of everything Kate said. Really fucking proud. I wanted the people who listened to my music or watched my films to be happy and that was it. Charts and numbers intimidated me. Yeah, I supposed numbers like that proved people liked it, but I also knew plenty of sleazy people in the industry who know how to manipulate charts.

Still. It was a little overwhelming, hearing Kate's list.

Edward ran his fingers softly through my hair, pulling me gently toward him. His lips brushed against my ear as he whispered, "You already did."

…rep…

The house was chaotic, had been from the second the entire Cullen clan showed up here this morning. Alec was in a mood, along with Jared who was consistently grumpy these days. Maggie was bummed she wasn't getting to go to the show and Alice and Rosalie were trying to hide their excitement as much as possible for her.

There were a couple extra people milling around, another hair and makeup stylist for Alice and Rosalie. Both of which seemed to have a good amount of pre-Oscars nerves and husbands who had no goddamn idea how to settle them.

I, however, was enjoying my manicure sitting on the couch and watching a couple of news anchors make their Oscars predictions. When I became the sane, level-headed one in the family I'll never know.

Edward sat beside me, as close as possible as the nice, thankfully quiet, nail technician worked on my nails.

"The only reason Cullen is going to win tonight is because she's had the Academy wrapped around her finger since she was nineteen," one of the men said, in a tacky pale blue suit that told me he thought he knew better than everyone. But he most definitely didn't. That, or his stylist hated him.

The woman next to him with flaming red hair rolled her eyes. "The Academy has her back, there's a difference. Bella has disrupted the entire landscape of media from film to music. No one does things like her, at least they didn't when she started. People hate her because she doesn't do what they want her to, but then she ends up becoming the most awarded woman at the Academy Awards at twenty-seven. Twenty-seven."

"Hasn't happened yet," I mumble to myself. Without looking at him I felt Edward roll his eyes at me.

"Even if you hate her," a different man, in a full three-piece suit interjected. "You have to admit the girl is good at what she does. That movie was raw and emotional and hell, by the end of it I was in love with Edward Cullen."

"Thanks, Melissa," I sighed, my nails done. I took a minute to admire the simple, milky pink of my nails and turned the television off.

"Almost set up for you, Bella," Chrissy called from across the room.

"Take your time," I shrugged, curling up on the couch. The moment I rested my head on Edward's shoulder, Alice plopped on the couch beside me.

"How are you not more stressed?" she asked, looking at me with wide, ocean blue eyes. "I mean, no one is really going to care about me being there and I can't keep solid food down. You're… you."

"I'm not all that important, Alice," I mumbled, earning matching scoffs from her and Edward. "Usually I can't sleep for days before, can't keep food down, the whole thing. This time I'm just… happy," I said with a smile over in Edward's direction.

"The worst thing that can happen is falling, and I've done that. Your coordination is much better than mine. You'll be fine," I told her in my most soothing voice. I knew pre-Oscars jitters. Knew what it was like watching the show for years and then suddenly being the one down there. It was terrifying, usually.

My conversation from yesterday morning with Edward was still fresh in my mind and my happiness was still flowing through my veins.

The next three hours consisted of me sitting in front of a mirror while an army of people worked on making me presentable. My hair was curled and pinned in an absurdly intricate design at the nape of my neck, a few tendrils falling around my face. My makeup was all soft pinks from the shimmer on my eyelids to the delicate blush on my cheeks.

I must have zoned out for a while during the process, there was a good possibility I had fallen asleep with my eyes open, because when I stood from the chair Edward was standing behind me in his tuxedo. He was all crisp lines, the matte black a stark contrast to his bright white shirt. Everything fit him perfectly. Images of what he looked like underneath flooded my mind before I could stop them.

He held out a hand to help me off of my chair and followed me upstairs. As had become our tradition, I was no longer surrounded by stylists as I got in my dress. Edward slowly slid the zipper up my back, his fingers lingering on my upper back and across my shoulders.

I turned to face him, smiling as he stared down at me.

Burning fingertips traveled across my collarbone, down my sternum, floating over the fabric of my bodice until they ended up on my him. "You're… breathtaking," he breathed out, eyes finally meeting mine.

I could agree that the dress was stunning. A big departure from the theme of reputation that I had followed for so long. Soft blushy lavender tinted taupe tulle flowed to the floor with a generous slit up one side to my upper thigh. Delicate rose gold sequins scattered the bodice, still allowing for the beautiful lavender to shine through the pattern. The sequins gradually dissipated down my waistline, the pattern breaking apart as it fell down the dress.

I pulled up the strapless, sweetheart neckline, making sure everything was secure. "I don't seem… too out of place?"

Edward frowned down at me.

"I'm not soft pinks and shimmering sparkles, Edward."

I wanted to be sometimes, but deep down I was just as dark and twisted as he was. My wardrobe choices typically reflected that. I wanted tonight to be a bright spot in my memory, and I wanted a dress to match.

"You're soft and warm and the brightest spot on each of my days, Bella. The dress suits you. Perfectly," he whispered, his voice sounding tight. His fingers ghosted over my collarbone again. "You do seem to be missing a few things."

I knew it was coming. From the moment I met Edward I had never gotten any jewelry on loan. That was what every other sane person who went to these events did. No one in their right mind would spend the millions it cost to purchase the jewelry that accompanied the couture dresses of the night. Most dresses were on loan, too.

Edward Cullen didn't do on loan, though. Which meant I didn't either.

This dress was mine at the end of the night, and whatever was in the velvet boxes Edward was bringing over to me would go home with us as well.

Looking past the gobs of money he spent on it, I found it incredibly sweet that he liked to give me the jewelry every time we were at an event like this. I once told him no one had ever bought me jewelry before, and ever since I had been showered with it.

The first box he opened for me contained a pair of earrings. They were surprisingly delicate. Simple teardrop diamonds that could actually be worn again. Maybe he was reigning himself in this year.

I smiled up at him without a word, securing them in place. Edward traced the edge of my earlobe once they were in place, sending a shiver up my spine.

"I didn't want anything to distract from this," he mused, opening up the much larger box.

I gasped when I looked down, not daring to try and figure out how expensive it was. The diamond encrusted snake was tinged rose, the detail mesmerizing from the raised scales to the way the tail would fall down the center of my chest.

He had given me one similar to this the night reputation was released, but it was platinum and a few inches thicker. This one was on the daintier side, and too gorgeous for me to comprehend.

"Oh," I gasped. I wanted to reach out and touch it, but it seemed to pretty to touch.

"Turn around," Edward demanded, picking up the necklace carefully.

Behind me was a mirror. I watched, holding my breath, as Edward carefully fastened the heavy diamonds around my neck. It was smaller than the other, but no less impressive. It still felt heavy around my neck, still cold to the touch as it rested on my suddenly overheated skin.

Edward's hands trailed down my arms, stopping to squeeze my hands beside me. His lips were at my ear. "You may not need the awards, but I know you want them. I've seen that cocky little smirk on your face whenever Heidi or Claire talk about your chances. I know you want just one more thing to prove to everyone they didn't break you."

I pressed my lips together, squeezing his hands. He was right. Usually was. Everybody wanted an Oscar. Didn't matter if you had one already. If you were an actor or producer or stylist… You wanted it. Always.

"You always try to hide it, but your need for revenge is glorious," he whispered, eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

The last time I had looked at him and been remotely scared had been the night he told me what he did, who he really was. It had always been comical to me, that people saw Edward and thought he was scary or intimidating. As he hovered over me, leaning down to kiss my bare shoulder with his eyes burning in to mine, I could see it. The same revenge-driven man that most people were scared of. I could see where the intimidation came from, but not feel it. There was no safer place for me than by his side.

He softened when I took our intertwined fingers and wrapped our arms around my abdomen. His lips pressed softly into the top of my head. "I love you. And I'm so fucking proud of you."

I smiled at him in the mirror, taking a few deep breaths before I could move. Once we were downstairs with everyone else, Alice insisted on a group picture. I smiled as everyone followed Alice's instructions on where to stand.

The men were, of course, all in tuxedos. Rosalie was in a stunning matte red floor length dress that probably four people in the world, including herself, could actually pull off. Alice was in a sparkling mint colored gown, looking every bit a princess.

After our picture and an incredibly in-depth discussion with Rosalie's nanny, who had come to Los Angeles to watch the kids tonight, we were off. We piled in to the black SUVs that were parked outside. My car held myself, Edward, Heidi, and Claire.

"I'm really proud of you, Bella," Heidi said as we were rushing down the highway. "You were this mousy little teenager when you walked in to my office. And now… I've worked with a lot of talented people, but you really have done a good fucking job. At everything."

"Thanks," I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat up as Claire nodded at me with a smile of her own. "Most managers and publicists would have ditched me after I was charged for murder, you know."

Both of them let out shocked chuckles.

We were fairly early to the red carpet, by my standards at least. Opening the show with my performance meant I needed to be. I usually liked arriving on the late side so I had to rush through the throngs of interviewers.

I peeked through my window, smiling as I watched Alice, Rose, and their husbands get out of the car in front of us. All looking a little wide-eyed.

Heidi and Claire hopped out of our car first. A sudden shot of nerves flowed through me. I stared over at Edward as he prepared to open the door for us.

Everyone expects me to win. What if I don't? What if I trip again? What if –

"You've got it, baby. I know you do," Edward whispered, squeezing my hand and opening the door.

I grabbed his hand, steadying myself as I got out of the car. I smiled over at my family, all standing to the sideline with Heidi. The typical red-carpet hubbub didn't give me as much anxiety as it usually did. I smiled and waved to the few stands of crowds that looked over the carpet, thanking my lucky stars they hadn't started booing when I got out.

Claire lost the laughter and smiles from the car, immediately going to in to work mode. Edward kept his hand on the small of my back as Claire led us through the crowd. There was a constant stream of shouts of my name and flashes. We stopped by the first interview, this one with a small stage in front of the bustling carpet.

"Gail Maxwell, GMA," Claire shouted at me.

I smiled politely at the girl that was coming off of the interview stage before me. She looked young, had to still be a teenager. Her face was familiar but I couldn't for the life of me come up with a name.

"Oh, my God," she muttered to herself. "I'm sorry, it's just – you're like – and I – sorry. Sorry, I'm just a big fan, Bella. Isabella. Mrs. Cullen. Sorry."

All of the apologies made me smile. I had the same habit of stuttering over myself sometimes. "Just Bella. And thank you."

Before I could say anything else Claire was coaxing me up the stairs. Edward, thankfully, walked me up so I didn't trip. I was pretty sure I heard a soft 'Wow,' come from the girl behind us.

"Here with us now we have the woman of the night," Gail smiled over at me, a microphone appearing in front of me. I took it carefully. "Isabella Cullen. How are you feeling?"

It was a question I knew I would get a hundred times tonight and I just barely repressed the urge to roll my eyes.

"I'm good, I think," I said with a smile. "Once you've done the whole process a few times it gets just a tiny bit easier."

"You've got your whole family with you tonight?"

"Yes," I answered, my smile this time much more genuine. "I've never really gotten to do the whole big family celebration here, so I'm glad they could all make it. Even if at the end of the night we're just celebrating my newfound freedom to take a nap," I said with a chuckle.

"It's been a crazy few months for you. Nominated for practically every award possible, a record-breaking Super Bowl performance… Now, you could leave here tonight as the most awarded woman in the history of the Academy Awards. And you're only twenty-seven. That's gotta feel pretty incredible."

"More nerve-wracking than anything, I think. Everyone's made such a big deal out of it now that people are just going to pile on me when it doesn't happen," I said exasperated, a twinge of my anxiety from the car coming back.

"It'll happen," she said kindly.

What was her name? I thought.

"You've had an extraordinary year and I know a lot of people who were ecstatic to see you back and happy. Have a wonderful time tonight, Bella."

"Thank you, Gail," I said, proud of myself for pulling the right name out at the end.

The next half hour continued much the same. Similar questions, the same shouts from behind me every time I turned around. Edward's hand constantly on me somewhere, whether it was my back or my shoulder, as he hovered wherever I went.

"Bradley Anderson smiled at me," Alice gushed as we had a moment to ourselves, waiting for a minute for the red carpet portion.

I chuckled. Bradley Anderson was Bradley Anderson. One of those actors everyone knew. I had met him on more than one occasion, having to make up for the blubbering idiot I was when I met him when I was eighteen.

"Bradley!" I shouted, quickly getting his attention. I snuck a peak over at Alice who looked horrified.

"Bella," he greeted me with a smile and a quick hug. "Lovely, as always."

"Thank you," I smiled. "These are my sisters-in-law, Alice and Rosalie," I chuckled, gently pulling Rosalie over from my right where she stood, frozen in place.

I left those two to fulfil their fantasy in peace, going over to pull Edward away from Claire. I threaded my fingers through his, smiling to myself when he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks for doing all of this."

Edward smirked down at me, confusion furrowing his brows. "All of what?"

"I know the Oscars red carpet isn't really high on your list of places to be seen."

He sighed, wrapping his arms gently around my waist. "It is if you're there."

I was pulled away a moment later for the red carpet. When I was sixteen I actually took a class on posing. It was mind numbingly dull. Always suck in. Never frown. Shoulders back. It was completely ridiculous, but all of the notes floated through my mind every time I was standing in front of a sea of photographers, so maybe it was useful after all.

My time in front of the photographers was much more enjoyable when Edward stood beside me. When he pressed a kiss to my temple, probably just out of habit, the flashes multiplied tenfold.

My smile was genuine as Claire pushed the whole family out to us. It wasn't typical for actors and their families to walk the carpet, but there was nothing typical about us at all. Everyone knew the Cullen's, especially because of reputation. I made a mental note to get a picture of all of us right here framed for my office.

Forty minutes later I was in a dressing room backstage, pacing and waiting for the knock that meant it was time for me to head out. I clinked and clattered with every movement. My dress earlier might have been soft and beautiful, but my performance outfit still reflected everything about the reputation album.

The base was a simple, black body suit. It was embroidered with glass beads and stones and chains. All harsh metals that clung to me, almost like a suit of armor. There was a black sheer skirt with faded beading flowing down, as well as sleeves with similar bead work.

The shoes were going to be my biggest hurdle; black booties, also covered in the same shimmering metals as my outfit, but a good three inches taller than the boots I typically performed in.

Focusing on my outfit was much more relaxing than focusing on what was about to happen. I grabbed my phone from my bag on the vanity and texted Edward, hoping he would notice it.

I'm nervous.

Thankfully, his response was almost instant.

Don't be. You're fucking incredible.

Before I could type out my response, more from him kept coming.

And kind.

Sweet.

Intelligent.

Devious.

Talented.

And, to be blunt, hot as hell.

I snorted after the last one.

The dreaded knock finally came. I sent Edward a quick Love you before putting my phone up and following Heidi out. I twisted and turned my in-ear monitors on my shoulders as we walked, mentally going through the entire performance.

Piano until the first chorus. Short interlude as dancers come out while Lea and Christian help me with my costume change, detaching the skirt from my outfit. Beat drops. Lights flash. From there on out, it's mostly similar to the tour routine, just slimmed down for the smaller stage.

The performance seemed like it took an eternity while simultaneously being over in an instant. I didn't trip or do anything overtly embarrassing, so I considered it a win. Once I had calmed down and gotten back in my original dress I met back up with everyone, all happily seated in the front row.

It was a commercial break and I was stopped by a few familiar faces as I made my way back through the theater. I was surprised so many people seemed just as polite to me as they used to. Most of the people here… they didn't give me the same looks I got in Chicago.

I was respected here. They all knew what it took to do what I did, and while they might secretly hate me for the success they also admired it. Some did, at least. In Chicago, I was just the unruly wife of Edward Cullen who exposed the city's dirty laundry.

I looked down the row at my family, all seated and smiling at their surroundings. I liked my two worlds colliding. I liked being here and knowing everyone respected and understood me, but I also loved Chicago and having a life outside of Hollywood.

"Hot as hell, Mrs. Cullen," Edward whispered in my ear. There wasn't much time for talking or congratulations when I got back. These things ran like clockwork and group hugs and excitement after a performance didn't fit.

"Back at you, Mr. Cullen," I whispered with a wink.

I spent the night happily sitting next to my husband, thinking of all the ways I could thank him for the last year and a half. He put up with me touring and the media circus that followed me the last few months and hadn't complained once. He just looked at me with that lopsided grin and said he loved me whenever I would apologize about it.

I ignored the increasing tension in my abdomen as we got closer and closer to the categories we were nominated in. Edward was right this afternoon when he said I wanted to win, but I was also being honest when I said I felt like I already had.

Hell, just a few years ago at this time I was sitting in a jail cell mourning my dead husband. Things could be a hell of a lot worse than losing a couple Oscar noms.

Then, it was like all of the pieces of my life kind of fell in to place. Noah, the man who played Edward in the films, he won Best Actor. A few minutes later I Did Something Bad won Best Original Song. Not long after that I won Best Actress for the third time in my career.

The entire evening left my cheeks tear-stained and my hands shaking. I was constantly rushed around backstage, through the press room and back to my seat until I made the circuit one last time for the final award of the night.

Every time I was brought back to my seat everyone's eyes seemed a little wider than the last. Even Emmett and Jasper seemed to have lost a little of their usual composure throughout the night.

"They're all incredibly star struck," Edward whispered to me as I sat down.

"By who?" I asked, looking to see if I could find someone who might have stopped by.

"You."

"They're not star struck by me," I scoffed.

"You've had an unbelievable night, Bella. It's easy to forget that you're, well, you when things are normal at home. Here… they can see how awe-inspiring you are."

"I think you're a little biased," I mumbled, my cheeks heating up.

I sat back in my seat, closing my eyes for a moment. One more award and it was over. If my mind was less of a jumbled mess, I could think of more reasons to be excited about that other than finally being able to take a fucking nap once it was done.

When the announcer came over the speaker, with a forty second warning until the commercial break was over, I sat up straight, smoothing my hands down my dress.

"I know I've been a broken record all night but I'm really fucking proud of you," Edward told me, his voice tight and his eyes surprisingly shiny.

I knew he had a lot of guilt over… everything. He thought he ruined me for a long time, hated the extra strain he and his reputation put on me and my career. He was probably just as nervous as I had been about the whole night.

I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, resting my head against his shoulder until time was up. "Shit," I muttered to myself, keeping Edward's hand squeezed tightly in mine.

I'm going to lose. Best Picture was it. The one that was going to put me over the edge. Everyone is going to hate me because they came all the way out here for nothing. It's going to be awkward and uncomfortable and –

"The Oscar for Best Picture goes to… reputation."

"Oh, my God," I stuttered, my head falling to my hands in my lap. My entire body suddenly felt numb and I no longer had any control over the tears that spilled down my cheeks.

Edward pulled me to my feet, squeezing me to his chest in a firm hug. "You did it, baby. You fucking did it," he repeated in my ear, over and over until I felt like I could stand on my own.

He helped me up the stairs, but when he started to let go of my hand I didn't let him. "No. Come on," I stammered, pointing over to where the rest of the family was standing and coaxing them over, too.

I knew damn well I wouldn't be here without them, and I didn't want to leave Edward's side for the rest of the night.

The stage was full when we got up there. Everyone who was part of the film that was here was on stage. Every actor, producer, all of them. I walked to the middle of the crowd, joining the other producers in the center.

"We've all worked hard on this film. We've all got families to thank and stories to tell, but no one has worked harder on this than this woman right here. Who also, I might add, has just become the most awarded woman in the history of the Academy Awards," Brian Harrison, the only producer I didn't have to beg to work with me, said as he backed away from the mic and motioned to me.

A shiny gold statue was shoved in my hand and when I looked out, the entire theater was standing. I had no way or time to process anything. It wasn't until I felt a familiar, comforting hand on my waist that I could form a coherent sentence.

"I, um," I mumbled. Okay, maybe not so coherent. "You all have no idea how many people told me not to do this," I blurted out.

"Everyone told me I was done. That my career was over, that I was over. I cannot tell you how many times a call ended with someone telling me to just give up. But I have this uncontrollable need to prove every asshole sitting behind a desk, thinking they know better than me, wrong." There were a few shouts from the audience and I choked out a laugh.

My eyes darted around the theater, seeing everything and nothing at the same time. "But, I… I love what I do. So much. I fell in love with the entire process of making a film when I was sixteen and have tried to learn every little detail of it since then. I've loved every project I've gotten to work on, I love everyone up here for not giving up on me when everyone else did."

Looking over my shoulder, I grabbed Edward's hand and motioned to where the rest of my family stood. "I know I wasn't supposed to bring my family up here. I was just really excited," I blubbered with a nervous laugh. "Please don't kick me out of the Academy again."

My mind was spinning, knowing there was a clock running down somewhere and that I had rambled nonsense so far. "This whole thing… reputation as a whole is kind of just a love letter to my husband. He's the only person in the world that – " I had to stop myself, my voice cracking. "The only person in the world that knows everything about me and loves me anyway. I would not be standing here without him and his family that I get to call mine now, too."

My eyes widened as I looked down at the statue in my hand. "And the Academy, you were the first organization to graciously accept me back when I returned. You have always stood by me and supported me and had my back since I was nineteen and I cannot thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I stepped back from the microphone, feeling Edward's hands steady me around my waist. Clutching my new shiny statue to my chest we followed the crowd off of the stage. Somewhere in the background, through the deafening ringing in my ears, I heard Delicate playing over the speakers as the show ended.

Backstage was a swarm of people; show producers, photographers, all of us that had just walked off stage. It was completely overwhelming, but at the same time I only had one thing running through my mind.

Best picture.

Best picture.

Best picture.

I turned around quickly and buried myself in Edward's arms, finally letting the overwhelmed sobs escape. I had no idea what was going on around me with my face hidden in his chest, but I didn't have much mental capacity to think about it in the first place.

"Deep breaths, baby," he whispered to me, hands gently rubbing up and down my arms.

I focused only on his breathing, attempting to stop the constant stream of tears down my face. I couldn't think about it. Thinking about how fucking insane it was to be holding the Academy Award for Best Picture, for reputation no less, that made the tears and shaking shoulders all come back.

No thinking. Deep breaths. No thinking. Deep breaths.

Lifting my head up, I got a glimpse of Edward's full, toothy grin. He brushed his thumbs gently under my eyes, wiping away the embarrassing trail of tears on my cheeks. No thinking about it.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Cullen," he muttered, though I could barely hear him over the bustling of the crowd.

I didn't trust my voice enough to answer, so I opted for peppering kisses along his neck to his chin, until I bit at his bottom lip.

"Okay, enough of that," Claire interrupted.

I felt Edward chuckle against me. His arms dropped from around me, but I quickly reached down and grabbed his hand.

Claire led us through the crowd and I lost track of where the rest of the family went. Chrissy was waiting for me before the press room, mumbling a quiet, Thank God for waterproof mascara, as she fixed me up from all the crying.

Everything after that… it was all a blur. Bits and pieces stuck in my mind; Edward standing behind me as my name plates were installed on three shiny new trophies, finding our family again and the obnoxious scene we all caused as we collided in a group hug, standing on the carpet at the after party with more awards than I could hold myself. All wonderful, life changing memories.

It was about three in the morning when Edward and I stumbled through the door, finally home. I lined up each of my statues on the coffee table in the living room, making sure each was facing forward, all lined up perfectly. I tapped each one on the head, counting them like they were about to disappear.

I was also a tad on the tipsy side.

I stood there, staring at the little gold statues, until Edward grabbed my hand and twirled me in to his arms. My dress flowed around me. It was simple enough; black with thin straps and a deep neckline, shimmering skirt that flowed to my feet with a slit up to my thigh. The best part was the heavy snake that was made to fit around my leg perfectly, wrapped around my calf like it was slithering up.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are today?" Edward asked, fingers trailing down my arm and leaving shivers in their wake.

"Only a hundred times or so," I sighed. I flattened my hands down his chest, over the elegant tuxedo he was still in. It was looking a little worn considering he'd been in it a good twelve hours.

Edward twirled me again, my back ending up against the wall. He said nothing, staring down at me with emerald eyes that were so intense I felt my cheeks heat up. One hand rested on my waist while the other trailed softly over the bridge of my nose, down to brush against my lips, his fingertips light as a feather. His touch was soft, fingers following an invisible path down my neck. His knuckles brushed against my skin as his touch continued its decent down my chest until it stopped where the fabric of my dress started.

In the back of my mind, I thanked the designer for the deep neckline that stopped about six inches above my navel.

"You're exquisite," he whispered, his touch backtracking the same path it had just taken. Once he was back at my nose, his hand gently cupped my cheek.

"I had no idea it would be so… extraordinary to watch you tonight," he breathed against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. "Your performance was remarkable. And, Christ, you just kept fucking winning."

His words sent a shot of adrenaline throughout my body. I was well aware that tonight would be the most successful night of my career, and I was pretty fucking good with that. I was also well aware that Edward had a thing for success. For being, or having, the best. It was very evident with how he was pressed against me.

"The way you walked, your head held high and that fucking smirk on your lips. You knew. You knew you were the best person in the room tonight."

"I didn't – "

Edward shook his head, smirking down at me. "No need for modesty, baby. Those three statues back there prove it's true."

I couldn't stop the edge of my lips twisting up at the mention of them. Three. Three awards all for me tonight.

Edward groaned, almost painfully before capturing my lips in a kiss. It was a kiss that took over every one of my senses and thoughts until I couldn't remember what he was talking about. It was hard to focus on anything else with his tongue doing evil things with mine and his hand hitching my leg around his waist.

"You're mine," he grunted, thrusting himself against me.

I bit my lip to keep from groaning. "Yours."

My legs were swept out from underneath me and Edward carried me up the stairs, bridal style. He had that smirk on his face, the one that I knew meant he was about to have too much fun tormenting me.

He set me on my feet in the bedroom, nearly the exact spot where he zipped me in to my dress this afternoon. He knelt at my feet, tossing my heels to the side and carefully extracting my leg from the snake circling it. "As undeniably sexy as this is, all clothing must go," he murmured, almost to himself.

Edward stood before me, towering over me with his should-be-patented panty-dropping smirk in place. My mind went fuzzy as he traced the edge of my dress over my chest and the swell of my breast.

"Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you wear a dress like this, with such easy access?" he asked, pushing away the offending fabric like it was nothing and instantly cupping my breast in his hand.

"You're a thirty-three-year old highly successful businessman and you still get distracted by breasts?" I teased, smirking up at him.

"Yours? Yes," he replied seriously with a sharp pinch on my nipple. "Don't tease."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I answered breathlessly.

Edward returned to his spot behind me and quickly pulled the zipper down my dress. It fell unceremoniously to the floor, leaving me in the lace around my hips and nothing more. Immediately, his hands were on my breasts.

My head fell back against his shoulder, small whimpers escaping with each squeeze of my breasts and tug of my nipples. My entire body relaxed against his when a very welcome thought fluttered through my mind.

There is nothing to keep me away from him for the foreseeable future.

I had no plans, other than a day of press tomorrow because of how successful tonight was. My schedule was clear as soon as I stepped foot in Chicago in two days.

I did it. I survived the month from hell, all the preparation leading up to it, everything.

Edward used my distraction to his advantage and I ended up on my back on the bed, the comforter thrown about. He hovered over me, tongue tangled with mine and hands still very busy tormenting my nipples.

He kissed his way down my neck, across my collarbone until he ran his tongue roughly over one nipple.

"I thought we weren't teasing," I gasped, fingers knotted in his hair as he bit and sucked and drove my mind in to a tailspin of sensations. I swear I felt him smirk against my skin.

"Only the fun kind," he chuckled darkly, slowly trailing his torturous lips down my abdomen, biting at the lace across my hips. He slid my final scrap of clothing down my legs, making us entirely uneven considering he was still fully dressed.

"We should have, um, guidelines for what qualifies as, uh, fun teasing," I stuttered, the hands sliding up my legs distracting me.

"For future reference," Edward started, eyes burning in to mine as he hovered over me. "Anything that makes you this wet qualifies as fun teasing," he smirked, sliding two fingers inside me easily.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head, my body collapsing against the bed. It had been too long since I had been able to fully relax, completely let myself get lost in my husband.

The need for skin to skin had my hands shakily tearing at Edward's clothes, even though it meant his hand getting pulled away from where I wanted it. I took advantage of Edward's distraction of kicking his pants off to situate myself on his lap.

I smiled down at the slightly shocked expression on his face that eventually turned in to a sinister smirk to match my own. I rolled my hips against him, relishing in the perfect alignment of his cock underneath me.

"Interesting qualification," I mumbled, running my hands along his chest.

Edward's eyes met mine, dark and needy, when I leaned down to press a kiss to the center of his chest. I smirked up at him, trailing my tongue over his heated skin until I got to his nipple.

"Paybacks a bitch, Mr. Cullen," I smiled against him, quickly biting down.

"Fuck," Edward grunted, hands knotting in my hair. I took a moment to thank myself for taking every one of the hundred pins out of it in the car. His eyes burned in to mine as I enjoyed myself; kissing along his chest, nipping at his delicious skin, smiling at every muttered curse I got with each new bite.

He caught me at a moment of weakness, leaning over him with his bottom lip between my teeth, when he quickly reversed our positions. I was left breathless and underneath him while he blatantly eyed me up and down.

Soft fingers traced patterns on my abdomen while his other hand ran up and down my thigh. His eyes were nearly black and always on me.

"Fuck, I've missed you," he groaned, pressing himself fully against me and into the bed.

My legs wrapped around his waist, arms tugging at his hair as he kissed me until I couldn't breathe. I bucked my hips up against him, earning a dark chuckle in response.

He entered me torturously slowly, eyes never leaving mine. "You're mine," Edward said, his voice tinged with wonder.

"I'm yours," I sighed happily. Completely blissfully happy. "Always yours."

I buried my head in his neck, suddenly completely overwhelmed. Not by awards or broken records, those didn't really matter. Not when I had everything I could want wrapped around me.

"I love you so much," I breathed out, my breath coming in harsh pants. My toes curled with every thrust, my stomach doing flips with every groan and grunt I heard from Edward.

His hand slid slowly down my waist, grabbing my ass and situating me to his liking. Each of our movements became more desperate; his thrusts harder and my hands digging deeper in to his back, his arms, wherever I could touch.

My head flung back, my toes curled as everything inside me erupted. I heard my name being whispered in a steady chant by my ear, felt the rush of warmth inside me as Edward groaned out his release.

He collapsed against me and I smiled at the weight of him on top of me. I peppered kisses along his face, neck, shoulder, wherever I could reach until his eyes fluttered open. He grumbled out a curse, realizing he was pressing me in to the bed, and flipped us quickly.

I leaned up against his chest, smiling down at him. My eyes caught the clock to our left and I groaned, burying my head back in his shoulder.

"I have to get up in thirty-two minutes," I grumbled.

Edward's lazy smile was unaffected. I knew, from years of experience, it would be there for a good hour after sex. Fucking adorable.

"Take a nap. I'll wake you up on time," he said softly, pulling the comforter up and over us.

I slid to his side, head resting on his chest. Just before I completely passed out, I heard a soft, whispered, "Congratulations, Bella."

…rep…

The house was dark when I walked in. I tossed my bag on the table to the right, only for it to clatter loudly to the floor. Left. The table is on the left.

I rolled my eyes to myself, not bothering to pick up the bag before stumbling up the stairs. I hadn't gotten more than four hours of sleep in about three days, but this was the last time that should happen in the foreseeable future. The thought alone sent a shot of excitement through me.

I was finally, finally, home. For good. It was after flying across the country at two in the morning because I was so impatient, but I was home.

The sight of our bedroom made me smile. Edward's side of the bed was still unmade, and I could hear the shower turn off as I walked in. I kicked off my shoes, shedding all of my clothing as I walked to the closet. I went right for Edward's side of the closet, pulling on the first t-shirt my hands touched.

I took a deep breath as I stumbled back to the bed. Everything smelled like home. The steam coming from the ensuite smelled like Edward's shampoo and the bedroom smelled like us even though it felt like months since I had actually been here.

I collapsed in bed, on Edward's side because it was closer. Stuffing my head in the pillow, I groaned when my hands met cold metal underneath it. It was entirely too common for me to find a multitude of weapons stashed throughout the house.

"You're home."

I turned my head in the direction of his voice, seeing him kneel down beside the bed.

"You were supposed to come home this afternoon," he said with a smile, brushing some loose hair out of my face.

"Wanted to get home," I mumbled. "Missed home."

I felt a soft kiss to my forehead before I passed out.

It was the late afternoon when I woke up. I was still tired, but it was the kind of tired I could survive. I sat up in bed, pulling the comforter around me, and smiled. Some people loved traveling, loved going out every night and only saw home as a place to recharge.

Home was my favorite place, though. I loved sitting in bed and reading a book beside my husband before I fell asleep. Loved when he gave in to my begging and watched a movie with me in the theater downstairs, or when Alice and Rosalie would come over and help me cook.

I stretched out in bed, somehow popping things in my knees, ankles, and shoulders simultaneously. My shower helped wake me up and soothe every ache in my body. The combination of the stress and the physical strain of rehearsing for so many things at once left me with a mess of knots in my back and a good amount of tension in my shoulders.

After my shower I left my hair to air dry because I didn't have the energy to hold a blow dryer for forty minutes. I pulled on an old Hopeless Kingdom tour t-shirt and a comfortable pair of leggings. It was about four and, according to a text I got in the middle of the day while I was sleeping, Edward was hoping to be home around seven.

Three hours. All to myself. I wandered around the house for a few minutes until I ended up in the kitchen. Dinner. Dinner was a good step in the direction of the normalcy I was hoping for.

Our fridge was somehow always stocked with various things, even though we rarely cooked. I opened it up, searching through the fridge and the pantry and trying to come up with anything other than a sandwich with my limited cooking knowledge.

Edward and I cooked a lot on the island, but it was mostly me watching Edward cook. I used to cook in Forks every now and then, but that was a long time ago. My lifestyle since leaving there never required me to cook much for myself at all.

I pulled out a package of steaks. I could cook steaks. And potatoes. And I had a lot of practice at making a salad, that was always my job on the island.

It was a good thing I had three hours until Edward got home, because I had to send Ben to the grocery to get me more steaks after I burned the two we had in the fridge.

I had everything staying warming in the oven as I got dressed. I changed into a midnight blue cowl neck satin slip of a dress. It fell right at my knees and was about as comfortable as the leggings I spent the afternoon in. I left my hair as it was, air dried with a few waves scattered about. I was putting on a final coat of mascara when I heard the obnoxiously loud engine of a sports car drive up.

I scurried down the stairs, sans shoes, and opened the door right as Edward was walking up the walkway, a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand.

Once I had the door closed behind him he pressed a kiss to my cheek and offered me the flowers. I smiled down at them, bright purples and vibrant greens staring back at me. I left behind a room full of flowers and other congratulatory gifts in Los Angeles after the Oscars, but these I would try my hardest to keep alive for more than a day.

"Thank you," I whispered with a smile up at him. I leaned up on my toes for a kiss, smiling wider when he leaned down to accommodate me. I had been wearing heels too much, got too used to our height being more even.

"I made you dinner," I mumbled against his lips, his hands wrapping around my waist.

"You cooked?" he questioned, surprised.

"Yes. I cooked. Steak and potatoes and salad," I answered triumphantly.

"How many times did you have to start over?"

I huffed in his arms, but wasn't willing to let go. "Only once."

Edward smiled down at me and I took his hand, leading him to the kitchen. There was a smaller table in there that I had set up, candles in the middle and plates all ready.

"Sit," I ordered, getting everything out of the oven and plating it up.

"You don't have to do all of this, you know," Edward sighed, but I could see the smirk on his face as I set the plate down in front of him.

"I know. I wanted to," I smiled over at him. "I want to cook you dinner when I can, and go to stuffy charity event with you or boring business dinners. Maybe convince you to stay home from work every once in a while," I said with a smirk.

"It's kind of exciting. I don't know when the last time we ever had any kind of normal schedule was."

Edward shook his head, a placating smile on his lips. "You're cute. All excited about boring dinners and normal life."

Our dinner was surprisingly delicious. Maybe not worth three hours of my life, but I was glad I was able to pull it off. I put our plates in the sink and grabbed the small box I had stashed in the kitchen earlier.

I sat back down in my spot, pushing the box toward Edward. "I got you a present," I squeaked, suddenly nervous.

"What for?" Edward asked, picking up the box carefully.

"Because I love you. And I know you told me not to apologize for the craziness of the last few months and blah blah blah, but I wanted to give you something. To say thank you. Open it."

I bit my lip as he pulled at the ribbon slowly. He frowned at the paper for a minute, but I saw the moment he realized what it was.

"It's still getting shipped. It won't be here for a few weeks but I wanted to give it to you now."

"How did you…"

"Alice told me how you were obsessed with cars as a kid. That you had this one picture all over your room. I got some information about it out of Emmett and tracked it down."

"I've tracked it down, too. He wasn't selling," Edward countered, frowning in my direction.

"No, he wasn't. But, his granddaughter is apparently a big fan," I went on with a smile. "I flew her out to a few shows, gave her quite the VIP treatment, and he sold it to me for a very reasonable $18 million."

I couldn't remember the name of the car for the life of me. Didn't know a thing about it other than what Emmett told me to track it down. It was some classic and practically the only one left around. An Aston Martin, like the other four I knew were in our garage right now. I knew this new one would probably never get driven once it was here, but every penny spent was worth the lopsided, boyish grin on Edward's face right now.

"You have quite an affinity for buying cars," he whispered.

I got him a car a long time ago, though it wasn't as expensive as this one. Edward bought me jewelry and dresses and everything under the sun. There wasn't much I could get him that I knew meant something to him, except for a good, ungodly fast, car. I shrugged. "You like cars."

"I like you," he replied with a smirk. "Does Emmett know you bought this?"

I shook my head. "No. He's very easy to get information out of, though."

Edward shook his head, still staring at the picture. "You're… wonderfully diabolical, Isabella."

I smiled across the table at him. I was exhausted already, but also too excited to sleep. This was exactly what I wanted. Quiet dinners at home with my husband with conversations about something other than how tired I was. I wanted dates and family dinners and time to actually enjoy each other.

I got up from my chair, walking around the table to join Edward in his. My dress rode up indecently high as I straddled his waist, but he didn't seem to mind. "I'm really happy to be home," I said quietly.

Edward smiled softly at me, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. "I'm happy to have you home."

"Things are going to be easy now, right? No stalkers or blackmailing or life changing decisions to be made any time soon?"

Edward pressed a couple soft kisses to my lips. "No, no life changing decisions or dramatics scheduled for the near future."

A/N: I hate endings so I'm not going to say anything about things ending here. Thank you all so much for the constant love on this story. It makes me so unbelievably happy you guys love these two as much as I do.

I'm sure you'll all be unsurprised to hear I have a Dark Paradise outtake in the works, and Edward's Vogue article is completely done. I'll post that in a week or two probably. Depending on how out of hand the Dark Paradise outtake gets, maybe I'll post that here as well. Or make its own little outtake story because my self-control is nonexistent. Who knows?

All my fashion inspiration for this story, including Bella's looks in this, are on my pinterest - fragilelittleflame - if you're interested! You can also keep up with me on twitter - fragilefanfic - for timing updates. I tend to ramble about my inability to end the story, too.

Anyway… thank you for tolerating my inability to give these two up. Hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did!