A/N: When I say I struggled with this chapter I mean I really struggled with this chapter. I honestly didn't think I would ever get it finished, but apparently social distancing is doing wonders for my fanfic career lol. Big thanks to Liz and Anna for looking over this one for me.
…
Harvey was sulking. Mike would go so far as to say he was feeling sorry for himself if he wasn't a little bit scared of him right now. They were in Harvey's condo, a glass of scotch each as they leaned over the kitchen island, drinking in near silence. It was hard to find the words to tell your mentor that you're sorry he has to go to prison for you, that you're thankful he's giving up two years of his life to let you live yours, and anyway, Harvey isn't very good with emotions, so Mike hoped he understood all of this through his mere presence. He could tell Harvey wasn't really in the room and he didn't blame him for it, but the silence was slowly becoming unbearable, so eventually Mike spoke the first words that came into his head.
"Donna seemed pretty upset."
This got Harvey's attention, his head whipping around to face Mike, his expression stoic, his grip on the edge of the island tightening. He didn't need to say anything for Mike to realize bringing up that particular subject was a mistake, and he immediately tried to backtrack.
"Harvey, I didn't mean to… I just meant that she-" He was stumbling but Harvey cut him off.
"I fucked up." The words were barely audible. He stared at a seemingly random spot on the counter as he continued. "I really hurt her and now she doesn't even want to talk to me and I don't know what to do to make it better."
If Mike was shocked by his friend's sudden willingness to talk about his personal life he didn't show it.
"She's in shock, Harvey. She wasn't expecting this. You just need to give her a little time."
"I don't have time. And even if I did…" he trailed off, finally shifting his gaze to look at the younger man. "Last night, I went to Donna's to talk and we ended up sleeping together. I promised her I would wait for the jury to come back in but… well, you know how well that turned out." He let out a breath. "I went back on my word to her. So, I don't blame her for not wanting to be with me."
This time, Mike didn't even try to hold back his astonishment. Not only had Harvey just almost completely glossed over the fact that he and Donna slept together, he then continued to voluntarily delve into his feelings on the consequences of the past few days.
"I feel weird even having this conversation with you, but do you mean slept with her as in a spur of the moment type thing or...?"
"No, Mike. It wasn't spur of the moment. I mean that the trial put things into perspective for me, and suddenly I was in her apartment and I couldn't remember why we were holding back anymore. I'm in love with her, and just when I had the balls to do something about it I had to go and screw it up." His breathing was shallow, his throat tight at the thought of messing things up with Donna before they even had a chance to start.
Mike moved to comfort his friend, unsure even as he made his way around the island what the best way to go about that was, but he was saved from making a decision by the sound of a frantic knock at the door. The pair glanced at each other and Mike nodded at Harvey in encouragement as the older man finished his drink and moved cautiously to the hallway. His hopeful heart was beating erratically in his throat as his brain begged him to tamper down his expectations. Donna had a key, she didn't need to knock, it probably wasn't her. He inhaled deeply as he swung open the door, and suddenly he couldn't think because Donna was everywhere. Her arms flung around his neck as her lips met his with such force he had to take a step back to steady himself. Instinctively, his hands found her waist as he opened his mouth and allowed her to take control of their kiss. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice was reminding him that they weren't alone and he used his last ounce of restraint to gently push her away. Before Donna could catch her breath to ask what was wrong, Mike cleared his throat behind them, shocking Donna out of her daze and causing her to clumsily jump away from Harvey's embrace.
"Well, I think that's my cue to leave," Mike quipped, chuckling softly.
Donna groaned, burying her face in Harvey's shoulder in embarrassment as she waited for the younger lawyer to leave, but Harvey simply chuckled, not at all bothered by what had just unfolded. Pulling back slightly, he scanned her face for any indication as to why she had a sudden change of heart, but all he found was pure unadulterated lust. His breath hitched at the realization, but as much as he wants to give himself over to the moment with her, he needs to know what happened that caused her to come over.
"So, you changed your mind?" he prompted gently after a moment.
"I changed my mind. Rachel made me realize that I might regret not spending as much time with you as possible, when I still can. So, here I am."
"Here you are," he agreed before pulling her towards him, tightening his grip on her waist and finding her mouth with his.
…
Harvey was the first to stir the next morning. His entire field of vision was red hair and long limbs painted with the most perfect mosaic of freckles and he would give anything for this to be the view he woke up to every morning. It dawned on him that it was his fault alone that it wouldn't be, and he groaned, carefully extracting himself from her embrace so as not to wake her. He had plans to make, and he needed her asleep to make them. Allowing himself one last glance at her, he slipped out of the bed and quietly went in search of something to wear.
Thirty minutes later, he felt Donna's arm loop around him from behind as he was finishing up preparing their coffees. He leaned into her embrace, smiling contentedly.
"Mmm, good morning," he murmured, not bothering to turn to face her.
She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades before replying, "You weren't there when I woke up."
Anyone but him would have only detected humor in her tone, but it was him and he could discern a hint of sadness, so he turned in her embrace, running his hands up her arms and settling them on her shoulders, searching her eyes and finding the hint of fear he had expected. Before he had the chance to come up with the words to make it better, she continued.
"I was upset for a second but then I could smell the coffee so I forgive you already." It was a deflection, and an obvious one at that, but if humor was her preferred coping mechanism this morning, he'd let her have it, so he chuckled, amused at how easily swayed she was by the thought of her morning caffeine. "Is there breakfast to go with this?"
"Nope," he smirked, and she raised an eyebrow in question. "While you were sleeping, I made a few calls. I've planned our whole day, starting with breakfast." Taking note of the old shirt and sweats she was wearing, he added, "Actually, starting off with a quick stop at your place to get you something to wear."
Ignoring his obvious gawking, Donna focused on his initial statement, slightly doubtful of his organization skills, "You planned our whole day? You've never planned your day before, should I be scared?"
He squeezed her shoulders before moving his hands down towards her waist, wrapping them around her back and drawing her closer to him so their chests were flush with each other. Resting his forehead against hers, he swallowed before answering.
"I want us to… I want to make memories with you, Donna. I want to have something for both of us to cling on to when we're apart. I know that I messed up-"
She snorted at this and he jostled her in his embrace.
"Let me finish," he admonished before continuing. "I know I messed up, that all of this is my fault. But, we could spend today dwelling over all of our past and future wasted time, or we could take it as an opportunity to try and make up for it all. Let's not think about it today, okay? Don't let them take today away from us."
Donna gazed at him in awe. She wasn't used to this version of Harvey. This thoughtful, kind man who woke up early to plan a date with her. She always could see through his cold exterior, but witnessing him with his walls completely down, his heart right there for the taking - it was breathtaking. She found herself holding back tears, overwhelmed with love for him and it was only when Harvey grabbed her hand, pulling her back towards the bedroom to get ready for the day that she managed to shake herself out of her reverie. She was going on a date with Harvey Specter. Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend Harvey Specter planned their entire day together. Yeah, that wasn't going to sink in any time soon.
…
"How did you find this place?"
They were sitting across from each other at a corner table in a small independent café a few blocks from Harvey's apartment. The decor was cutesy without being overbearing, pastel colored, mismatched chairs, earthy, wooden tables and italic lettering on the wall-hangings. Donna thought it was the kind of place she'd come to escape on a Sunday morning, but it was completely the opposite of Harvey's usual favorite spots.
He blushed slightly at her question, studying the small menu even though he knew he had already chosen the pancake stack with bacon. Clearing his throat, he cautiously met her eyes.
"I, umm… was out running one day a couple weeks ago and I passed it and it uhh… reminded me of you," he admitted, "so I came in, and the coffee was really good."
His attempt to brush the story off with a joke was in vain, he knew. This was Donna Paulsen, reader of all people, especially him, but he couldn't help it, the vulnerability of the admission leaving him too raw and open for what was supposed to be a day filled with enough happy memories to last two years.
Donna's response was stuck in her throat, her words failing her for possibly only the second time since they've known each other, so instead she reached out for his hand on the table, squeezing gently, and conveyed her response through her eyes. He understood, and didn't tease her for the fact that he had managed to render her speechless, choosing to savor this moment instead.
...
The afternoon found them walking through Central Park, hand in hand, and she was honestly a little surprised. He told her he was taking her to see Shakespeare in the Park, her ideal date, but one she truly had never imagined going on with him. This was Harvey Specter. There was a certain amount of grandiosity that should be expected with anything involving him, but the simplicity of this idea was refreshing in a way that somehow made her love him more. His focus was clearly to make this a day she would cherish forever, every little nuance thought through perfectly, so much so that she asked if he had help from Rachel but he swore he didn't. They sat through a performance of Much Ado About Nothing and she even caught him laughing at Benedick during one scene and it melted her heart. Afterwards, she asked him if he'd ever seen that play before and he replied no.
"I only ever go to the theater to see you, Donna," he told her. "My favorite actress."
She smacked him in the chest for that, rolling her eyes, but when she really looked at him, she could tell he wasn't joking.
"Thank you Harvey," she managed to get out, suddenly breathless. Clearing her throat, she continued, "So where to next?" and he simply shook his head, declaring it was a surprise.
...
The surprise turned out to be dinner in a new restaurant come jazz bar he found uptown. He told Donna his Dad's old band played there sometimes, and they told him about it. The low lighting and soft music created an inherently romantic atmosphere, and Donna took the opportunity to slide closer to him in their U-shaped booth. Their food had been cleared and they were sitting in comfortable silence, Harvey running a thumb back and forth over the hand Donna had placed on his thigh.
"This was really the perfect day, Harvey," she spoke up eventually. "Thank you for taking my mind off of everything."
"It was my pleasure," he murmured in response. "I'm glad we got this."
She hummed in agreement, pausing for a moment to decide whether to bring up the topic that had been playing on her mind for the past couple of minutes.
"What is it?" he asked her, bracing himself for an uncomfortable conversation if the look on her face was anything to go by.
"Have you told your family? Marcus and-"
"Donna, we're not talking about this tonight," he cut her off.
"If not tonight, then when?"
"In the morning, I promise," he assured her. "Today is just for us. Now, come dance with me?"
He didn't give her a choice, grabbing her hand as he slid out of the booth and leading her to the dance floor where a few other couples were already swaying. They had danced before, at firm events and Christmas parties, but never like this, so intimately. He held her tight as he guided her expertly around the room, a natural flow to his movements that she barely noticed because she was caught in an oxymoron of being completely wrapped up in her safe space whilst simultaneously clinging onto the hope of a future that she can't have, and it tore her in half. Her tears clouded her vision as she counted on him to keep her steady, this perfect man who was trying his utmost to heal the heart he broke. This perfect man who was going to be ripped away from her, who was going to break her heart again and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
…
A/N: Hopefully there won't be as long to wait for the next chapter! I'll try my best. Reviews are always appreciated.