Rayman 4: Baddies Unite!
A fanfic by: Block
CHAPTER 1: The Plot Unfolds (wow!)
*After Rayman 3, Rayman and Globox thought they had defeated the Hoodlum threat and transformed Andre back into a Red Lum. Too bad Rayman's own hands backfired the whole plan*
Andre: Well, whatdoyouknow! I'm back!
Left Hand: So he is!
Right Hand: Hey, we can't talk!
Andre: This isn't actually a Rayman game, it's just a fanfic in text. You can do anything you want!
Author (Me): Ahem.
Andre: *sigh* Permitting that idiot author lets you. Now, I have a Hoodlum army to rebuild, and I know the best place. The Heart of the World!
Left Hand: Yeah. Let's somehow walk back and reattach ourselves to that guy.
Right Hand: Sure.
*Andre goes about his routine, touching Red Lums and transforming them into black ones*
Black Lum 1: Dumdeedum! Boss, did yu say da hart of da wurld?
Andre: Yeah, I did. And use the stupid spell checker!
Black Lum 2: Spel chekr? But yu tryd da hart of da wurld last gaim!
Andre: So what. This time, I cannot fail! Come, my brothers. Let's get our Hoodlum army back together.
All Black Lums: YA!!!We rul!!!
*Meanwhile, back at Rayman's sleeping spot*
Rayman: *yawn* Eight o'clock already? Why did I have to spend that all- nighter at the Teensie Tavern? Oh well, live and learn.
Globox: Woohoo that's the spirit you're the best!
Rayman: Could you lay off the flatery PLEASE?
Globox: Sorry. It's just that I still miss Andy.
Rayman: You know, you have to let life pass on. He was just a misguided ball of evil. Now he's doing what he was born to do, be a fluttering, happy, bright Red Lum.
Globox: I DON'T CARE! *starts crying*
Rayman: Now you stop that this instant! Your tears feel like grease!
*Rayman slaps Globox across the face*
Globox: *sniff* Thanks, I needed that.
*Suddenly Andre, on his path to the Fairy Council, crashes into Rayman and enters his mouth*
Andre: OH NO NOT AGAIN!!!
Globox: Andy? Andy is that you! You're back!
Rayman: Globox, I swallowed him.
Globox: So you did. I know! Now you have to give him Plum Juice and float into the air and listen to him bite your stomach line all day!
Rayman: Oh please no.
Andre: Well well well. Now I'm inside Rayman instead! I'm gonna eat you up from the inside out!
Rayman: Wait, I know.
*Rayman's left hand goes into his mouth and pulls Andre out*
Globox: Huh??? Why didn't you just do that with me in the first place?
Rayman: Please. My hand in your mouth! Yuck!
Andre: I have no idea what just happened, but so long, chumps!
*Andre flies towards the Fairy Council at full speed*
Rayman: Shoot. Guess we better stop him again.
Globox: Do I have to come along this time?
Rayman: Oh believe me, you're coming.
Globox: I don't like that look in your eyes. hey Rayman, you're freaking me out.
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN SPACE.
Pirate: The ship is up and running, sir!
Razorbeard: Good. Now I'll finally be able to get revenge on that pathetic Rayman for nearly killing my back there!
Pirate: No way! I couldn't bare to see an entire platoon flattened by that Clark again!
Razorbeard: Idiot.
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN 1995.
Space Mama: I've done it! I've made a time machine that will allow you to travel to 2003 and wipe out Rayman once and for all.
Mr. Sax: Groovy, baby!
Mr. Dark: Excellent. Now, how does it, work?
Moskito: It sayzzz here that you need to prezzzzz that big red button that'zzz left of that big glowing thingy.
Mr. Stone: Duh boss? You're not leaving us, are you? But we'll get so lonely!
Mr. Dark: Yes, unfortunately, I must. And you, you author, stop making me use, so many, commas!
Author: Hey. I lost 70 lives trying to beat your stupid frying pan course. You owe me big time.
Mr. Dark: Bleh.
MEANWHILE, AT THE HEART OF THE WORLD (2003 OF COURSE)
Grand Minimus: Doesn't it get kind of boring always listening to the same album for days on end?
Teensie 1: Yeah, it does get sort of dull always doing the same moves all the time.
Teensie 2: I have an idea! Let's kick those turtles around!
Grand Minimus: Sounds like fun.
*The Teensies start kicking the two dancing turtles around the Heart*
Turtle 1: Bah if I was 300 years younger.
Turtle 2: You need a caning!
Turtle 1: Oh the young people today!
Turtle 2: My dentures! I lost my dentures!
Turtle 1: Your parents should have put you in military school!
Turtle 2: No respect! No respect!
Teensie 3: Whee this IS fun!
Grand Minimus: Nothing could break our happy, happy moods now!
*Andre storms into the chamber of the Heart*
Teensie 1: Well THAT was anticlimatic.
*Rayman and Globox appear soon after*
Globox: *slobbering* This is so dumb.
Andre: Rayman! You're too late this time! Now all of you, watch as hundreds of Hoodlums pour out of this heart this very moment!
*Andre tries to fly into the heart, but it obstructed by something*
Andre: What the? The Heart of the World is fake?
Grand Minimus: We had the idea of installing a glass wall around the heart last Wednesday.
Andre: Well. I will return!!! *flies away*
Rayman: Quick, Globox! After him!
Globox: Oh no, you're not dragging me along this time. I'm staying right here!
Rayman: Krffffffff.. fine! Stay here! See if I care! *goes away*
Globox: So. wazzup?
Grand Minimus: Want to kick a turtle?
Globox: Aw but that's mean. Hey! Bring that nice music back and let's dance all day!
Teensie 1: Hey! We made a vow to stop that!
Teensie 2: Don't make us start!
Teensie 3: You can't make us!
Grand Minimus: Globox, we can't take that music anymore. Now just kick a turtle or GET OUT!
*Meanwhile, outside.*
Andre: I have to think of a plan to get into the Heart once and for all!
Rayman: Aha! I found you! Now to transform you with a simple push of the X button.
*Suddenly, Razorbeard's ship lands*
Razorbeard: Rayman, you bum! I will finish you once and for all!
*Suddenly, Mr. Dark appears from the time machine*
Mr. Dark: It's been eight, years, but I will kill you, at last!
Andre: I have no idea who those two guys are, but if they're siding with me, good!
Rayman: Uh. coffee anyone?
TO BE CONTINUED..
A fanfic by: Block
CHAPTER 1: The Plot Unfolds (wow!)
*After Rayman 3, Rayman and Globox thought they had defeated the Hoodlum threat and transformed Andre back into a Red Lum. Too bad Rayman's own hands backfired the whole plan*
Andre: Well, whatdoyouknow! I'm back!
Left Hand: So he is!
Right Hand: Hey, we can't talk!
Andre: This isn't actually a Rayman game, it's just a fanfic in text. You can do anything you want!
Author (Me): Ahem.
Andre: *sigh* Permitting that idiot author lets you. Now, I have a Hoodlum army to rebuild, and I know the best place. The Heart of the World!
Left Hand: Yeah. Let's somehow walk back and reattach ourselves to that guy.
Right Hand: Sure.
*Andre goes about his routine, touching Red Lums and transforming them into black ones*
Black Lum 1: Dumdeedum! Boss, did yu say da hart of da wurld?
Andre: Yeah, I did. And use the stupid spell checker!
Black Lum 2: Spel chekr? But yu tryd da hart of da wurld last gaim!
Andre: So what. This time, I cannot fail! Come, my brothers. Let's get our Hoodlum army back together.
All Black Lums: YA!!!We rul!!!
*Meanwhile, back at Rayman's sleeping spot*
Rayman: *yawn* Eight o'clock already? Why did I have to spend that all- nighter at the Teensie Tavern? Oh well, live and learn.
Globox: Woohoo that's the spirit you're the best!
Rayman: Could you lay off the flatery PLEASE?
Globox: Sorry. It's just that I still miss Andy.
Rayman: You know, you have to let life pass on. He was just a misguided ball of evil. Now he's doing what he was born to do, be a fluttering, happy, bright Red Lum.
Globox: I DON'T CARE! *starts crying*
Rayman: Now you stop that this instant! Your tears feel like grease!
*Rayman slaps Globox across the face*
Globox: *sniff* Thanks, I needed that.
*Suddenly Andre, on his path to the Fairy Council, crashes into Rayman and enters his mouth*
Andre: OH NO NOT AGAIN!!!
Globox: Andy? Andy is that you! You're back!
Rayman: Globox, I swallowed him.
Globox: So you did. I know! Now you have to give him Plum Juice and float into the air and listen to him bite your stomach line all day!
Rayman: Oh please no.
Andre: Well well well. Now I'm inside Rayman instead! I'm gonna eat you up from the inside out!
Rayman: Wait, I know.
*Rayman's left hand goes into his mouth and pulls Andre out*
Globox: Huh??? Why didn't you just do that with me in the first place?
Rayman: Please. My hand in your mouth! Yuck!
Andre: I have no idea what just happened, but so long, chumps!
*Andre flies towards the Fairy Council at full speed*
Rayman: Shoot. Guess we better stop him again.
Globox: Do I have to come along this time?
Rayman: Oh believe me, you're coming.
Globox: I don't like that look in your eyes. hey Rayman, you're freaking me out.
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN SPACE.
Pirate: The ship is up and running, sir!
Razorbeard: Good. Now I'll finally be able to get revenge on that pathetic Rayman for nearly killing my back there!
Pirate: No way! I couldn't bare to see an entire platoon flattened by that Clark again!
Razorbeard: Idiot.
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN 1995.
Space Mama: I've done it! I've made a time machine that will allow you to travel to 2003 and wipe out Rayman once and for all.
Mr. Sax: Groovy, baby!
Mr. Dark: Excellent. Now, how does it, work?
Moskito: It sayzzz here that you need to prezzzzz that big red button that'zzz left of that big glowing thingy.
Mr. Stone: Duh boss? You're not leaving us, are you? But we'll get so lonely!
Mr. Dark: Yes, unfortunately, I must. And you, you author, stop making me use, so many, commas!
Author: Hey. I lost 70 lives trying to beat your stupid frying pan course. You owe me big time.
Mr. Dark: Bleh.
MEANWHILE, AT THE HEART OF THE WORLD (2003 OF COURSE)
Grand Minimus: Doesn't it get kind of boring always listening to the same album for days on end?
Teensie 1: Yeah, it does get sort of dull always doing the same moves all the time.
Teensie 2: I have an idea! Let's kick those turtles around!
Grand Minimus: Sounds like fun.
*The Teensies start kicking the two dancing turtles around the Heart*
Turtle 1: Bah if I was 300 years younger.
Turtle 2: You need a caning!
Turtle 1: Oh the young people today!
Turtle 2: My dentures! I lost my dentures!
Turtle 1: Your parents should have put you in military school!
Turtle 2: No respect! No respect!
Teensie 3: Whee this IS fun!
Grand Minimus: Nothing could break our happy, happy moods now!
*Andre storms into the chamber of the Heart*
Teensie 1: Well THAT was anticlimatic.
*Rayman and Globox appear soon after*
Globox: *slobbering* This is so dumb.
Andre: Rayman! You're too late this time! Now all of you, watch as hundreds of Hoodlums pour out of this heart this very moment!
*Andre tries to fly into the heart, but it obstructed by something*
Andre: What the? The Heart of the World is fake?
Grand Minimus: We had the idea of installing a glass wall around the heart last Wednesday.
Andre: Well. I will return!!! *flies away*
Rayman: Quick, Globox! After him!
Globox: Oh no, you're not dragging me along this time. I'm staying right here!
Rayman: Krffffffff.. fine! Stay here! See if I care! *goes away*
Globox: So. wazzup?
Grand Minimus: Want to kick a turtle?
Globox: Aw but that's mean. Hey! Bring that nice music back and let's dance all day!
Teensie 1: Hey! We made a vow to stop that!
Teensie 2: Don't make us start!
Teensie 3: You can't make us!
Grand Minimus: Globox, we can't take that music anymore. Now just kick a turtle or GET OUT!
*Meanwhile, outside.*
Andre: I have to think of a plan to get into the Heart once and for all!
Rayman: Aha! I found you! Now to transform you with a simple push of the X button.
*Suddenly, Razorbeard's ship lands*
Razorbeard: Rayman, you bum! I will finish you once and for all!
*Suddenly, Mr. Dark appears from the time machine*
Mr. Dark: It's been eight, years, but I will kill you, at last!
Andre: I have no idea who those two guys are, but if they're siding with me, good!
Rayman: Uh. coffee anyone?
TO BE CONTINUED..