hope everyone had a good weekend! let's get back to it!

Ben stopped the Falcon's travel through hyperspace before they could reach Pasaana. There, in the dead of space, the Falcon sat on autopilot not really going anywhere. There weren't any planets in range, which meant no First Order patrols to look for. Two of their four-man crew were temporarily down for the count and Finn...

Finn was being locked in his room until Poe and Ben could decide whether or not to trust him.

Ben had pulled up a chair to the bunk he had put Rey down and watched her as she rested, his scarred hand holding on to one of hers. She had been out for over 24 hours, and after checking over a dozen times Ben could say with almost complete confidence that Rey was not dead. It was like she was recharging her battery; the stunt she had pulled to save Poe's life had taken a lot out of her...

What exactly was that, Rey? What were you thinking?

Of course, Ben couldn't be entirely upset with her. What she did was the thing that ended up saving Poe's life, even at the risk of her own. No matter how much she had scared him Ben couldn't help but smile proudly. He had been worried about the dark cloud that seemed to be lingering over her for some time now but after an act of this much selflessness, it was clear that Rey's goodwill truly outshined everything.

Ben could hear staggered footsteps come behind him, and a knock on the wall followed by a voice, "How is she?"

Ben turned back to look at Poe; who was still not at one hundred percent himself, and nodded, "Still resting, but okay. She seems stable."

"I-" Poe stuttered, "I didn't know Jedi can do that."

"It's very rare but not impossible," Ben explained. He remembered reading about it in his youth how there had been Jedi long ago who could force heal. It wasn't an impossible feat but it did take a lot out of a person to accomplish, "It's been a long time since it's been recorded that a Jedi could do such a thing."

"But Rey is much more than just any Jedi, isn't she?" Poe asked as he took a couple of steps forward.

Ben looked back at Rey, and squeezed her hand gently, "I saw a vision of her once, not that long ago," Ben thought back to that moment in his room when he first touched her through their connection, "I thought I saw the truth about her parents... about who she was," Ben looked back at Poe and sighed, "but it seems I didn't see the entire truth."

"Whatever it is, we'll find it in Pasaana," Poe tried to be as insuring sounding as possible, "I don't know much about the Force but it must have brought all of here together for a reason," Poe put his hand on his chest where Rey healed him and smiled softly, "Whatever it is that may be going on here, we'll figure it out. All of us... together."

"Including Finn?" Ben tried not to hold too much anger for the man but he couldn't help but make a face when his name came to mind. What had happened was equal parts of his and Finn's fault.

"If we can learn to trust you after all of your mistakes," Poe sighed and scratched the back of his head, "Then we gotta learn to trust Finn again."

Finn was pacing back and forth in the bunk that Ben and Poe had locked him in. They took away his lightsaber and anything else he might have had and made sure to lock the door behind him. He deserved it though, every bit of the hate and disgust they had for him now he deserved all of it.

What in the galaxy was going on with him?

This wasn't the same Finn that rescued Poe from the First Order and helped Rey bring BB-8 back to the Resistance no matter how much his body was screaming at him to run away. This wasn't the same guy who was ready to sacrifice everything for the Resistance before Rose stopped him from unnecessary killing himself.

Maybe he was the one who had been poisoned by the darkness.

In the Force, he could feel that Rey was okay, not awake yet but okay. He regretted every decision he had made since he pushed her away almost 4 months ago.

He could hear footsteps coming down the hall and stop right in front of his door. After the sound of a few locks coming undone, the door opened and on the other side was Poe, "Hungry?" Poe asked waving a portion pack in his hand.

Finn shook his head no, "Is Rey awake yet?"

"Nope," Poe was very standoffish, Finn could see it in his friends' posture.

"Poe I'm-"

"What you did," Poe swallowed back any tears he could, "You could have put the entire Resistance at risk. Everything that we are..."

"Poe, I'm sorry-"

"You don't get it, do you?!" Poe snapped back, "This thing is the only thing I got to my name and these people," Poe sniffled back any emotions he had in him, "They're the only family I got left..." His eyes betrayed him anyway as the tears started to form, "I care about you Finn, but I won't let you destroy everything I have because you have your head up your ass!"

Finn was deep into the waterworks now, "I thought I was protecting my family..."

"No! You weren't- you were just... being selfish," Poe turned to walk away and Finn took a step forward to stop him.

"Poe-"

"I am not-" Poe turned around pointing a disappointing figure at him, "Ready to trust you. Not yet..."

Twenty four hours turned to thirty-two and then to four-eight hours of Rey being out cold. Ben started getting anxious. What would he do if she never woke up? How would he continue to say in the light without Rey? She was everything to him, and Ben wasn't sure he would do without her.

So Ben did everything he could to wake her up. He meditated for hours on end and focused the rest of his time trying to call Rey through their connection. He spent just about every minute while she was out in that room with her. Occasionally he'd be joined by Poe or BB-8 and Threepio, but most of the time it was just Ben and Rey.

Be with me.

He didn't know how many times he asked- no, begged her to be with him. To wake up. To come back home. At one point Ben was sobbing on his hands and knees begging for her to wake up: and he was sure that Poe had heard him do it too. It didn't matter to him though, all that mattered was Rey.

Be with me.

Rey, who he had told himself thousands of times he didn't need. Who he almost killed on multiple occasions. Now he was here at her bedside in agony, trying not to lose himself without her. I should've gone with you from the beginning. He cursed himself for being so stupid. Why did he wait so long to be Ben Solo? Kylo Ren had nothing to his name, but Ben... Ben had Rey, and Rey was everything to him.

Be with me.

On the fourth day of her being out, Poe came to join him, taking a seat and pulling it up next to Ben. They sat in silence for a while but he knew that there was something on the Generals mind that he wanted to say.

After 15 minutes of silence, Poe spoke, "I talked to Rose this morning."

"And?" Ben didn't mean to be so snippy, but the aggression snuck out into his voice.

"We should take Rey back to Ajan Kloss, where someone can really take care of her," Poe tried his best to soften the blow, "There's nothing we can do for her out here. We are wasting time and gas, and there's still a mission to do-"

"I am not leaving her behind!" Ben snapped as he turned to Poe.

Poe looked at Ben with tired eyes and sighed, "It's -It's not leaving her behind, Solo... we have to find this Wayfinder. We can't let Palpatine win! Otherwise, what was this all for?"

Before Ben could protest someone more, a feeling I'm his chest caused him to stop. "You- You should listen to him..." A soft voice called out stopping both boys from their bickering, "He's still our General..."

They both turned to face the bed to find Rey was awake, tired eyes staring back at them. She smiled and it brought tears to both their eyes. Poe was the first to call out to her, "Rey!"

Rey looked at Poe and smiled, "You're okay." She then moved her attention to Ben, and her heart broke a little at the sight of him almost fully sobbing, "Ben? What's wrong?"

Without any (coherent) words, Ben collapsed into Rey's shoulder and sobbed. Poe had never seen the former Sith cry, and Rey had only ever seen him like this once; after his mother had passed. Rey slowly lifted her hands in the air and put them in his hair, cradling his head. It's okay Ben, I'm here.

I love you.

"What?" Rey answered out loud. Ben lifted his head and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, without repeating the words he spoke to her across the force. He smiled as he lifted his head, and tried to hide wiping his tears away. She looked between the two guys, and felt really confused, "How- how long was I out?"

Poe looked at Ben at a glance, who was still wiping his face, "Three... Four days?"

"103 hours..." Ben added, matter of factly, "Saving Poe's life took a lot out of you."

"Four days! I was out for four days!?" Rey attempted to jump up but her body was sore from laying down for so long. Ben reached out to help her, but she waved him away. She took in the room for a moment before something was missing, "Where's Finn?"

Finn could feel Rey was awake before she came to visit him. Not that he expected her to want to visit him. Their last encounter had been quite the never wrecking one, and Finn still hadn't forgiven himself for what he had done. So how could Rey?

Whether she did or didn't forgive him, Rey did come to visit. Finn had half the mind to jump up and hug her but he could feel Kylo Ren's presence lingering in the air. Rey slowly walked into the room, still trying to get accustomed to moving after being in bed for four days. She leaned against the doorway as she talked to him, not fully coming into the room.

Finn couldn't help but smile, it was the least he could do without crossing boundaries, "You're okay."

"I am," Rey's smile was faint as she crossed her arms over her chest, "So..."

"Rey- I'm," His face softened as he looked for the right words to say, "I... I messed up. Really bad-"

"You almost killed Poe," Rey's smile disappeared and sad eyes were now all could focus on, "And for what? What would you've accomplished if you struck Ben down?"

"I- I..." Finn stuttered, "I don't know."

She took a deep breath and stood up straight, "We have to get back to our mission, and we are going to need everyone if we are going to find this Wayfinder," She took two steps forward, "So are you with us?"

Finn nodded yes and Rey said nothing else. Instead, she turned back for the door and started to leave. This time, no one locked Finn in when she was gone. It took him a couple of seconds to gather the courage to leave the room, but by the time he did, he could just see Rey turn a corner.

Rey knew she probably should've said more to Finn. She should've yelled at him, really let him know what he did was wrong but she couldn't. Her mind was so preoccupied with something much more pressing to her and she couldn't get it out of her mind.

Ben had told Rey he loved her.

She's never heard those words before. Not about her. Rey couldn't recall a single, solitary moment in which someone had told her they loved her.

Now it was all she could think about.

She found Ben in his room, looking absolutely ridiculous as he sat at the edge of his bunk. The beds were definitely not Ben-sized, and she couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him.

"What's so funny?" Ben asked without looking up. His eyes were focused on whichever Jedi text he'd happen to be reading at that moment.

"The Falcon was not made with a man of your stature in mind, " Rey joked as she walked a little closer to him.

Ben snorted, "No, they weren't."

Rey found her way to the bed and sat beside Ben, "What are you reading?"

"I'm trying to figure out exactly what my Uncle was trying to do with-"

"Ben, did you mean it?" Rey asked, cutting him off. He finally lifted his head from the book and stared at her with those dark eyes she was absolutely over the moon for, "Do you-"

"Yes," Ben replied before she could even finish, "More than you could imagine."

The breath she exhaled was shaky. He had definitely taken Rey's breath away, "Say it again."

Ben put the book down next to him, his eyes never breaking from hers. As he turned his body to better face her, Ben put his bad behind her neck, his touch gentle and warm, "I love you."

The words made her weak in the knees and Rey was certain if she was standing she would've fallen over. Slowly, Rey leaned in closer to him and her hand wrapped mindless around his neck. It was like she wasn't in control anymore, "Again..."

His mouth was lingering just above hers and she could feel the words tingle down her spine as he spoke, "I love you, Rey."

With the sound of her name flowing slowly out of his mouth Rey pulled Ben closer until his lips clashed with hers. She could feel his free hand slipping behind her waist and pull her body closer to him. The taste of him was the most incredible thing she had the pleasure of trying. Rey wanted so much more of him, but this was war and she knew now was not the time. So instead, Rey took what she could get. Cherishing every kiss he gave.

For a moment, Rey wished they were still on Tatooine.

Then like an unrelenting wave regret had kicked in. She almost /killed/ Ben. Finn almost killed Ben. She almost lived her whole life without knowing what it was like to be kissed by Ben Solo. A man who had loved her so much, no matter what she did. Rey didn't feel worthy. Then, suddenly, there were tears.

"Rey?" Ben said as he broke the kiss, his had moved away from her neck and up to her cheek to wipe the tears away, "What's wrong?"

The words broke her more coming out then they did when they were almost in her head, "I almost lost you... and I would've never known-"

"But you didn't," Ben smiled softly, kissing her cheek where the tears were still rolling down her face, "And you've known. You've always known."

"It's not the same as hearing you say it," Rey sobbed, and Ben couldn't help but chuckle.

He kissed her again, this time on the lips, "I love you, Rey. I think I have long before I met you, and I will love you long after I'm dead. Nothing will ever change that."

Rey smiled, resting her head against his, her fingers curled tightly around his shirt, "I love you, Ben Solo." As Ben held her tightly in his arms, Rey felt the weight of the world lifted off their shoulders (if only for a moment) and she could feel herself become at peace.

For so long there was a pull; no an anchor, something that held him back from turning completely to the dark but also held him from going back to the light. It was there all this time, weighing him down. Haunting his dreams. Until she came along. Until Rey turned his world upside down and now he could feel it. That cord has been cut, and Ben Solo is free. Now nothing could stop him from being who he was. A man in love with a Scavenger girl. Rey.

His Rey.