A/N: Truly and honestly based off the recent Idina interviews where she talks about how her son doesn't think she's cool. Lol. This will be a short story. Also in this AU — S has an established relationship with R. She shares custody with the Berry's and has helped raised R her whole life.

Shelby didn't understand.

She was cool.

She had to be.

She was an actress, a singer, a songwriter. She was a regular on Broadway, some would even say, a legend of the Great White Way. And she had three Tony Awards for acting to show for it. A Grammy. A Golden Globe nom. She even lent her voice to a leading role in one of the most successful animated films of the decade.

She's had a prolific career that has only continued to skyrocket to stratostopheric heights since she packed her bags and left her small town life behind in the Midwest more than fifteen years ago now.

She was truly a star in her own right.

And yet.

Her own kid didn't think she was.

Cool, that is.

Not even in the slightest.

"Hello? Earth to Shelby!" Cassandra July scowled at the woman after failing to capture her attention for the second time. "What's with that face your making?"

Shelby let out a forlorn sigh, drew her sunglasses onto her face, then adjusted her baseball cap on her head. "What? Nothing," she shook her head.

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "You literally have the most expressive face like ever. We make money off of it, remember? I can always tell whenever you're mad or upset."

"I'm neither," Shelby replied, reviewing her appearance in the mirror, hoping that would do the trick. She just needed to be a tad more unrecognizable than usual. "It's nothing, Cass. I swear."

"No, seriously. What is it?" Cassandra prompted, mostly out of boredom. "Is it Rachel again? Because you know we're literally on the way to pick her up right now."

"I know," Shelby brightened significantly at that. "Thanks for driving me, by the way."

"Whatever," Cassandra muttered with a lazy shrug. "You have a car service that you could've taken to the airport. So sure, makes perfect sense to wake me up at an ungodly hour to take you to LaGuardia"

Now, Shelby rolled her eyes at that. "Mhmm, sure. So sorry," she said with fake sympathy. "As if you didn't want to see Rach. She told me last night that you called her the other day and said how excited you were for her to spend the week here."

"That little twerp!" Cassandra remarked in shock. "Can't believe she outed me!"

Shelby laughed aloud at her best friend. "You're so annoying. There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your God daughter. You know much she adores you."

"This is true," Cassandra said with total confidence. "I am awesome."

Shelby only issued a rather disgruntled groan in response.

"What?"

Shelby sighed. "That's the problem," she confessed sadly. "Rachel does think you're awesome. She thinks you're cool. And fun. I don't think she feels the same about me."

Cassandra paused for a few moments, turned her head to face Shelby, then burst out into raucous laughter.

Shelby whipped her sunglasses off and cast an erosive glare toward the blonde. "Seriously? This is why I hate telling you anything."

"Okay, my bad," Cassandra managed to choke out through her chortling. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh," she stopped and cleared her throat before letting out one last giggle. "God, Shel, she's your kid. She's biologically not supposed to think you're cool. I mean did you ever think your parents were cool growing up?"

Shelby couldn't help the pout that formed. "No but—"

"Also, she just turned thirteen two days ago, so seriously good luck with that. You're like in it now. She's not going to want anything to do with you for years. Maybe you guys can be friends again when she moves to New York for college."

Thinking, Shelby frowned at the prospect that Cassandra may be right or at least had a point. She glanced out the window when they approached the tollway for the airport and suddenly years of airport pickups and drop-offs between New York and Ohio flashed through her mind.

How was her baby a teenager now? In a blink. Where did the time go?

She was twenty two years old when she arrived to the city with exactly two suitcases, a pocketful of dreams, and a drive that was always too big for where she came from.

In order to save costs, she answered a listing in the paper and found herself moving into the spare bedroom of Hiram and LeRoy Berry on the Upper West Side. They were newlyweds who hailed from an even smaller city near her hometown in Ohio. LeRoy was a professional journalist and Hiram was an investment banker. They were kind, easygoing, and fun roommates for two men who were almost ten years her senior. They took care of and looked after her. They became unlikely friends, even more unexpectedly, a family.

And Rachel… Rachel was a decision they came to together. After adoption didn't work out. After months of exhausting all of their other options to be fathers. Being their surrogate was the least she felt like she could do for the two men who had sincerely grown to be her best friends, her family, who had given her a home and provided her the love and support she needed to jumpstart her life and career. It was something she had always wanted for herself too. Being a mom, having a child. She wanted it as much as everything else.

She knew she wouldn't be anywhere close to where she was today or have enjoyed the amount of success without Hiram and LeRoy and the wings they've given her to fly.

They spent the first six years of Rachel's life living in New York, learning how to coparent and building their lives together. Shelby was also focused on her theater career back then. By the time Rachel was five, Shelby was originating a role on Broadway, one that would earn her her first Tony Award, and go on to change the course of her career forever.

It was her idea to take Rachel outside of the city to attempt to give her a childhood as normal as possible. As soon as her fame began to gain traction, they stopped to take stock. And when LeRoy got the job offer to take over the local newspaper in his hometown of Lima, it felt like the right thing to do. They all agreed to move Rachel away from the city, the scrutiny, the limelight. They wanted her to grow up with as much normalcy they could provide to protect her and to keep her grounded. And though it meant spending more time apart than together since Shelby stayed in New York, she knew it was the best thing to do for her daughter.

They all still shared custody and she remained her parent as much as her two dads. Every holiday break, long weekends, and summer vacations were spent with her. And she made it a priority to fly back to Ohio one weekend a month, often every other, no matter what her schedule was or what project she was currently in the middle of. She worked it in every contract before she signed on. Her kid came first. And she never wanted them to spend more than a few weeks apart at a time.

"Ugh I'm sorry," Cassandra nudged after a few silence-filled moments. "Dude… are you crying? Aw Shel. I didn't mean anything, you are a cool mom. I swear. Like one of the coolest."

Shelby blinked a few more times to clear the mist from her eyes and to temper her growing emotions. "No I'm sorry," she swiped a hand at the errant tears that escaped. "I'm fine," she insisted then pulled kleenex from the holder in the sun visor. "I just… I don't know," she blew her nose. "You're right, Cass. Rachel is growing up so fast. I can't believe she's thirteen now. I don't even know how that's possible. I just feel like it's all happening so quickly, and I feel like I'm missing it all. You know? I wasn't even there for her birthday. This was the first one we've spent apart."

"Shel. You couldn't be. You had to work, you had the London premiere, and Rachel understood. You also get to celebrate together now. All week. I know you'll make it up to her. And then some. You honestly spoil her."

"No, I know," she shook her head at Cassandra's chiding tone. "I know. We talk about this all the time. And I know I shouldn't feel guilty about continuing to work and living away from everyone. I know we're all used to this, and it's normal for her. I don't know… I just truly feel like the years start coming, and they don't stop coming."

"Did you just quote that song from Shrek?"

"Maybe," Shelby sniffled hard one last time. "Shut up, it used to be Rach's favorite. There was one weekend where we watched it six times in forty-eight hours, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. But, whatever, it's the same sentiment. It just hit me last night, though. Rachel's going to be in high school next fall. And then she's going to be learning how to drive, going on dates with boys, or girls, or whomever she likes, figuring out what she wants to do for the rest of her life, applying to colleges. There's going to be all of these milestones coming up, and I won't be there."

"Shel. That is not true. You know that."

Shelby nodded, though unconfidently. She did. For the most part. She and Rachel had a close relationship, despite the split home arrangement. They had a special bond. Hiram and LeRoy always ribbed her about how their daughter ended up being such a mommy's girl even with two fathers. More so, they even had a lot in common. Though admittedly maybe it was some of her influence, they shared the same passion for music and theater. The arts. An affinity for Barbra. Dramatics, for better and for worse. And every day, she sincerely saw more and more of herself in her daughter. Even physically. It made her so profoundly proud. And continued to confirm that out of everything she has and will ever accomplish, Rachel will always be the best thing she's ever done. Without question.

"I know," she agreed, attempting to rein in control of her emotions. "It's just been on my mind. I know. I know how blessed I am to do what I do. This was one of the best years of my life. The Golden Globe. Disney. My album. It's all been beyond amazing. But I just find myself missing her more and more. So much, Cass. Especially lately. It's becoming increasingly difficult because I feel like there's more to miss recently."

Cassandra tossed her a sad smile. "Well, you know you can take a break," she reasoned. "If you want, you can just hit pause. Maybe move back to Ohio for a few years and be with Rach and Hiram and LeRoy, if it means that much to you."

"I don't know if I can."

"Shelby, you can do whatever you want. It's your life," Cassandra pointed out. "And as your manager, I can definitely say that you can afford to stop and take time for your family. That was always the deal, right? You always said that we conquer it all and that our strategy is a full-court press until it begins to interfere with your kid. That's what it's sounding like it here to me. Your career can wait. You're outstanding. You've proven yourself. There will still be work waiting for you after this. I have zero doubt about that."

Shelby paused, offering to give Cassandra's suggestion some serious consideration. She also had a point about this. But it wasn't as clear cut as her long-time business partner framed it to be. She had contractual obligations and a personal staff that relied on her for their livelihoods. She had an entire life in the city, both personally and professionally. And perhaps more selfishly, she inherently felt like she had just broken past a new barrier in the career that she loved and the momentum was immensely tantalizing. Hitting pause didn't feel right to her. Maybe striking a better balance was.

"It was just a suggestion," Cassandra backtracked. "Obviously you should talk to Hiram and LeRoy about this. Even Rach. Especially her. See how she feels about everything lately. Just saying that you do have choices."

Shelby remained silent, lost in her thoughts about it all.

"Alright," Cassandra decided while she accelerated her speed, merging on to the far left lane away from the curb. "We're still early, so I'm going to do one more lap before I drop you off to pick up your child. I'm going to give you exactly seven minutes here to get it together, Corcoran."

"Cass," she began to protest, hating how it came out as a whine.

"Okay, so what happened anyway that triggered all of this? Did Rach say something last night?"

Shelby struggled to answer, slightly embarrassed at how sensitive she was feeling and acting about this. This was so unlike her. She never had these insecurities before, and it felt grossly unfamiliar to her. She really needed to get a grip.

"You better talk to me now when you have the chance, because you and I both know what happens when you let things fester," Cassandra warned with a grave tone. "You're going to be with Rach non-stop for the next two weeks, and the last thing you want to do is for it to blow up on her. Tell me I'm wrong."

"Fine," Shelby relented at the cruelty of a Cassandra July checkmate. She ran her hands over her face out of frustration before replying. "It was the stupid Instagram filter," she mumbled.

Cassandra reached a hand out to lower the volume of the car radio. "The what?"

"The Instagram filter for my holiday album promotion," Shelby explained. "Remember? It was your idea, so that fans can use it and share it for publicity."

"And what does my brilliant marketing strategies have to do with any of this?"

"Rach said that all of the kids at her school were using it and sending it to her last week, some as a joke, and she said she was embarrassed," she relayed. "She was wondering how much longer it was going to be up."

"Embarrassed?" Cassandra scoff. "Your album sold eight hundred thousand copies this week alone."

"I don't think that's the point," Shelby countered. She sighed deeply. "And this isn't the first time either that she's made a comment about things like this. I don't know Cass. I get where maybe Rach is coming from. But… how is this the same little girl who made me miss giving my acceptance speech at the Tony's just two years ago because she was throwing a temper tantrum backstage about me not paying enough attention to her? Remember how I couldn't take her anywhere or put her in any situation where I couldn't give her my undivided attention? And now, anytime she asks me for a little bit of space and independence, I just lose it. I can't handle it. And I just want to hold on tighter. What do I do?"

"You need to chill out," Cassandra responded, faltering slightly from the caustic and destructive arched eyebrow directed her way. "No, really. Because Shel, Rachel is always going to need you. You're her mom. That will never, ever change. But she is growing up, so you have to do your part and let her and let go. You two are just in the middle of a transition. That's what this is. Let her and let go. Repeat after me."

"A lot easier said than done," Shelby lamented.

"And I don't think you're going to win the cool argument here either. That's like swimming against the current. And please don't try because there's nothing worse than a mom trying to be cool."

"Jesus, remind me to never ask you for parenting advice ever again," Shelby decided as she unbuckled her seatbelt when they pulled up again to arrivals.

"Tough love babe, sorry that's all we have time for," Cassandra shrugged. "I mean, just be yourself. That's all Rachel cares about. I promise you. Being cool is all subjective, anyway. Like in real life, I'm definitely cooler than you are."

"Okay goodbye," Shelby cut her off while she pushed open the passenger door. "I am done talking about this. Absolutely thank you so much for nothing. And I will be right back with Rach."

After jogging from the car to the terminal to avoid the cold, Shelby wrapped her oversized coat around herself as soon as she stepped inside the airport. She made a beeline for the arrivals and departures board and scanned her eyes swiftly across the screen for her daughter's early-morning flight in from Columbus. Once she saw that it arrived at the gate, she made her way toward the baggage claim, grateful that she was here before the pre-morning rush so she can pick her daughter up mostly undetected.

Not even a second after she set foot off the escalator, she heard Rachel's voice calling her name. "Mom!"

The teenager waved a hand above her head then ran toward her. When Rachel barrelled into her, she scooped her daughter up in her arms, lifting her feet off the ground, sincerely relieved that she was still allowed to do so.

"Hi baby, oh it's so good to see you!" She squeezed tightly before setting her back down. "I missed you so, so much, Rach," she said, pulling her in again and stealing a few kisses atop her head.

Rachel laughed at all the affection. "It's only been three weeks, mom. I just saw you at Thanksgiving."

"That's true," Shelby ruffled her brown hair fondly. "But you know how much I miss you every—"

"—day we're apart and not together," Rachel completed her mother's favorite greeting. Not once has the woman failed to say it in years and years worth of airport pick-ups. She smiled. "Me too, mommy."

"Exactly, my love," Shelby replied, melting. She took Rachel's duffel that had been relegated to the ground in their embrace and slung it over her shoulder. She then used her free arm to wrap it around her daughter while she guided them back upstairs. "I'm so happy you're here, Rach."

"Me too and I'm glad to be on break," the teen agreed. "How was Europe, mom? Did you have a good world premiere? It's all Kurt and Mercedes can talk about."

"It was incredible, but I definitely missed you and your daddies this time around. I'm also a little exhausted," she admitted through a yawn. "I just flew in from London right before midnight yesterday, so I haven't been home that long yet either."

Rachel cocked her head up at her worriedly. "Yeah, what are our plans for this week, then? I know you said you still have to work? New York premiere next?"

Shelby drew her to her side even closer and rubbed her arm placatingly. "Just a bit over the next three days. They want me to perform for the Saks Fifth Avenue holiday window display unveiling tonight. Only a short set. Early tomorrow is Good Morning America. Tuesday night is the red carpet. But, as always Rach, it is completely up to you to decide what you want to go to. If at all. And in between all of that is whatever you want to do, honey."

"Hmm… I mean, maybe, who's going to be the guest at Good Morning America? Someone cool I hope?"

Shelby chuckled. "Uh, me, your mom… Shelby Corcoran."

Rachel's cheeks tinged pink at the accidental slight. "Oh, right. Okay, sure. I don't know," she gave a shrug. "I don't want to just stay around the apartment by myself, so I think I'm in for all then."

"Yeah?" Shelby double-checked.

"Yeah, I think so," Rachel responded brightly. "I want to be wherever you are. And also with Aunt Cass. I have so much to tell her."

"Great," Shelby replied, chalking this up as a win for now.

Cassandra was right. She wasn't in denial that her not so little girl anymore was growing up. She's well aware that Rachel's views may be changing and she may not think that she was cool anymore or… yet. But now she had three rare opportunities to show her daughter otherwise. And, better yet, she was determined to use these chances to bring them even closer together. So that's exactly what she was going to do.

"Also," she whispered slyly. "Guess what I just found out about your Aunt Cass? Did you know that Shrek is also one of her favorite movies? I'm thinking that you should definitely ask her to watch with you this week."