"Prez writes Sweet Today fanfiction!" Fujiwara exclaimed, with unbridled glee, waving around Shirogane's phone in the air as a trophy while the president grasped desperately to take it back.

Kill me.

Fanfiction! Many read it, and many more write it. The real episodes of a series are simply not enough for the most ardent fans, and they resort to creating their own content, sometimes exploring alternative plot lines that could never happen in the canonical material.

Shirogane was one such fan! After reading the manga "Sweet Today" he could not help but seek out more stories involving those characters. What's more, he had started writing himself! It was something he could do on his phone privately in any meagre pockets of free time that he had. Unfortunately, due to a lapse in concentration, said phone had found itself into the hands of the Agent of Chaos herself, and by sheer unfortunate timing she had stumbled onto another of his great shames.

Shirogane snuck around her with a feint and snatched the phone from her hands. He looked down at her with a cruel smugness even more ill befitting a student council president than the writing of fanfiction itself. The secretary turned away in defeat. "There, now nobody will know," he hissed threateningly. "And if you say anything, I'll— wait, what are you doing?"

"Googling your username," she said conversationally. "I saw it while I had your phone. By the way, 'SweetTodayFan37' is not a great username, President."

Shit. Shirogane conceded in the face of Fujiwara's energy. "Alright, fine," he admitted, slumping back into his chair and bracing for the bubbly politician's daughter to have her fun.

Her face fell, however. "Hey, President, how come there's no smut," she stated more than asked, as she scrolled through his content. "I'm disappointed."

"As if I could write that stuff!" Shirogane said, blushing furiously, inwardly glad that he really hadn't. "Still, do you have to read it? It's just some entry for a contest."

"Aw, are you shy?" Fujiwara teased. "Come on. We've been through so much together already."

Fujiwara read from the story aloud:

Aizen woke up. The sharp-tongued delinquent was going to take his girlfriend Sakura on a date. He was so excited that he had to do something sharp-tongued to balance it out, so he yelled at his bedside lamp before going downstairs.

He was barely out of bed before he started coughing violently. He cursed his illness, his chest condition, the fate that would cut his time with Sakura short.

He sat down for breakfast, pouring himself some cereal. While crunching through, he checked the ingredients. It had: maize, sugar, barley malt flavouring, salt (which he found interesting because he didn't think there would be any), calcium carbonate

"Why do you spend so much time on him looking at the breakfast cereal box?" Fujiwara asked, strained. Even the next two paragraphs were dedicated to the other features Aizen could see on the cereal packet.

"No, you see, more detail is good," Shirogane explained, as if he was sharing the secret insights of a master creator. "It makes him more relatable and establishes his thought patterns."

"The only thought pattern you've established is that you're a boring person," she retorted. "Also why is he eating Frosties? He's a delinquent."

"Because cereal knows no class!" Shirogane declared with a flourish. "Everyone eats cereal, from rich to poor, kings to delinquents!"

"I don't…" Fuji sighed. "I'm going to skip to the next part."

Aizen had a long day to go before his date, so he spent all day thinking about it. He did his usual stuff. He spent time with his delinquent buddies, spent time tinkering with his bike. He spent time in the secluded flower garden he visited regularly in secret even though he was a delinquent, remembering how Sakura had watched him for so long, before she finally revealed that fact to him.

Nothing could change his delinquent past, but maybe Sakura could change his delinquent future.

The awaited evening finally came. Aizen triple checked everything, right down to his blonde hair, ruffled in just the right way that it looked like he hadn't put any effort in but still looked cool.

He picked Sakura up from her house. She looked so pretty, like a pristine rose from the garden of Eden. Her pink blouse swayed freely in the breeze, making Aizen jealous of every time the fabric brushed her delicate skin. Already his passion was aroused, his passion of beating everything that might want to hurt his Sakura to a pulp.

"You look beautiful," Aizen blurted, before averting his gaze and blushing furiously.

"Oh, stop," Sakura smiled, turning her face away too.

The pair strolled along the sidewalk to Aizen's bike, and the adolescent hoisted himself onto it, self-consciously despite having done so a thousand times before. Steadying himself, he took Sakura's hand, lifting her up to sit gracefully on the seat behind him.

"You ready?"

"Mhm!"

And he let fly. They soared through the streets and out to the fields underneath the crimson sunset. Her hands pressed softly against his waist. It was like an out of body experience, yet at the same time, he was acutely aware of her heartbeat, of her body resting against his, of every cloud of her breath on his neck.

"Your writing is actually decent here," Fujiwara commented.

"Oi, why do you sound so surprised?" Shirogane retorted, sensitive to the implication the rest of his writing was poor, as any writer would be.

"Hm, how to put it…" Fujiwara lowered her phone as she thought, stroking her chin, trying to put words to her intuition. "It's like, the earlier paragraphs were what you thought was good, but then this later stuff is more grounded in reality? Like it's stuff you have experience in, or something you've thought about a lot…"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Shirogane huffed. "Obviously, I've never ridden with a…"

Oh shit I have

"Hm, maybe I'll just read on, in case there's more evidence," Fujiwara hummed.

Unnoticed by Fujiwara, a bead of sweat formed on Shirogane's brow. No, it's impossible, for her to figure it out from, from this...

Fujiwara continued reading.

After what felt like an eternity wrapped into a single second, the couple reached their picnic spot: a discreet, private corner of the park, a willow tree shading the patch of green.

Sakura took the picnic basket, pulling out the food from within as Aizen unfurled the mat onto the verdant grass.

"I don't know which is more beautiful: the stars, beating some punk from a rival gang into a bloody pulp," he highlighted this with an enthusiastic repeated punching of his palm, "or you, Sakura," he finished, holding her arms in his. "Now, let's gaze at the stars together."

The sharp-tongued delinquent withdrew two 8x32 monoculars and handed one to Sakura. The two pointed it to the sky, the jutting wall of the Sinus Iridum looking particularly lovely to both observers, before they moved on to look at the stars.

"You can make out the fall quadrangle tonight, also known as the Great Square of Pegasus," Aizen explained passionately. "Though it's funny. The brightest star in it, Alpheratz, is actually part of the Andromeda constellation, but that's normal because the Summer Triangle is made up of Vega, Deneb, and Altair, which are part of Lyra, Cygnus, and Aquila respectively. Now there's an interesting old legend about those guys"

BAP!

"What was that for?!" Shirogane complained, rubbing the back of his head where Fujiwara had hit him with a paper fan.

"What's with all the random star facts?" she exclaimed. "Overly technical nerd knowledge is a huge turn-off!"

Shirogane was a little hurt by this.

"But again, this seems like it's based on something more than just your imagination," Fujiwara mused. She skipped the six subsequent lengthy paragraphs about constellations and read on, more intently.

Sakura took a sip from the thermos, sighing contentedly as she savoured the drink. "Your miso soup is the best, Aiz," Sakura smiled. "I wish I could have more of your cooking."

"Yeah, I should chuck in some more gourmet shi- I mean, ingredients," the sharp-tongued delinquent replied, holding back on his crude language in the presence of his crush. "Next time I'll treat you to some cream stew."

Aizen doubled over in a coughing fit. Sakura rushed to him, holding him as he breathed hard, recovering his composure. She helped him settle down, laying his head on her lap. The sharp-tongued delinquent smiled as he looked up at her face, full of concern for him. "Please smile, Sakura," he said softly, as if every word was sapping his strength. "I've finally found something more beautiful than the moon."

Sakura smiled. "And I've found someone I can trust with my heart, someone who's taught me about the stars, about love."

Everything was perfect.

The black-haired girl, her skin smoother than the surface of a polished pearl, fidgeted with her fingers, as the blonde-haired boy lay in her lap.

Shirogane's sweating intensified, and the chaotic secretary's hand wandered perilously close to the Love Detective hat...

"I guess I can say, I love you, Mi—"

Aizen suddenly pushed his girlfriend away, and the spot on which she sat moments before exploded into a burst of flame.

"What!?" Fujiwara exclaimed. "Why would you ruin such a romantic scene with an explosion?"

Shirogane was focusing on something else entirely. How did I miss that typo?! Shirogane's heart raced at the near miss as Fujiwara bapped him repeatedly for the sharp diversion in the story. Thank god it happened at a point like that!

"Aizen-!" Sakura cried, hand outstretched, as her beloved was engulfed in the smoke of the explosion. She gasped as the dust settled, her cries turning into relief as she saw him standing. But the obtrusive mist settled further, and she saw him in a defensive stance, struggling to hold off an enemy. Sakura stared further, trying to see clearly through the fog, which settled even further to reveal the face of Aizen's enemy was none other than Kurzawa, one of his former nemeses!

"Ahahaha! I've got you now, Aizen!" Kurzawa bellowed as he flung his opponent away to the ground. The sharp-tongued delinquent gritted his teeth as he wiped away the blood from cuts on his cheek. "You've got a chick, huh? That explains a lot, you know. That time I found you in that flower garden and were trying some weird shit to distract me." He grinned maliciously, eyeing the lily-skinned girl. "Now I know what's precious to you… it's time to end our rivalry!"

Then he transformed into an eldritch horror.

Fujiwara blinked.

"Get back!" Aizen shouted. Instinctively, Sakura leapt out of the way, a hefty tentacle obliterating the ground where she stood just moments before. Kurzawa-Sogoth roared, a chill flowing through Sakura's very being.

"I've been waiting for you to reveal your true form," Aizen said calmly. He withdrew a golden sextant from his inner pocket and, while dodging several lashing strikes, adjusted the scope and dials with a practised hand like a master magician.

"By the power of Castor and Pollux, the light of the Gemini, I banish you!"

Sparkling light streamed down from the sky through the sextant and Aizen fired spiralling twin beams at the beast. It roared as the shining beam pierced it with as if illuminating a shadow, and Kurzawa-Sogoth dissolved into a cloud of black smoke.

"What the heck am I reading…"

The dust settled, and Aizen bent over, weakened from exertion. Sakura rushed over to support him as he coughed roughly.

"I thought we were going to die," Sakura breathed. "But that was amazing."

"We agree," said two voices from behind them in unison.

The teens spun around sharply. There, in dark, impeccable suits and shades, stood two men.

"We're from a secret organisation which fights monsters like these," one said. Then the other started speaking, picking up seamlessly from where the other left off. "We believe your knowledge of the stars and ability in combat would be very useful."

"And now a Men in Black ripoff," Fujiwara muttered. "Who the heck is even gonna get that?!"

"Our leader will be able to tell you more," the left one said.

On cue, to the shock of the two, a classic flying saucer appeared to materialise out of the sky perhaps 10 feet from where they stood, its camouflage peeling away until the entirety of the sleek, futuristic design was in view. It floated to the ground, landing with no noise. A panel slid open, with a ramp slowly extending to the ground.

Sakura stared at the figure making his descent. He was tall and blonde, with piercing eyes and incredible teeth. There were no bags under his eyes. It was immediately obvious that this was a man that all women would be charmed by and all men looked up to.

"First you project your own stupid interests onto the main character, then you literally self insert yourself?" Fujiwara exclaimed. "What the heck?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Shirogane said, with an obviously feigned innocence. "If you happen to think that character is anything like me, well, I guess it means you have a high opinion of me."

"Hello, my name is Shu Hirano," the man said, smiling brilliantly. "But you can call me the President."

"Oh come on!"

"As these guys have mentioned, we want you two to join us on missions defeating aliens across the universe. Your knowledge of astronomy is exceptional, and your intuitive mastery of the Millenium Sextant makes you a perfect candidate."

"So that's what it is," Aizen said, turning the strange item over in his hands. "Well, I feel like this is my calling…." But there was something stopping him. What did he really want? He turned to

He wanted… to be with Sakura forever.

"Sakura. Come to space with me."

Sakura thought about what she would be leaving behind, her parents who had nothing but disdain for her, and the world filled with greedy, distrustful people. It was a huge decision, and it took several long moments to make her decision.

"Okay. I'll do it."

"R-Really? That's amazing!"

The men nodded in approval, and the teenage couple strolled arm in arm into the spaceship and jetted away into the stars.

*End of Chapter 1*

Fujiwara set the phone down and puffed her cheeks out. "I guess the end was decent. With a bit more work it would almost be romantic."

"So it's good?" asked a hopeful Shirogane.

The young secretary laid an affectionate hand on the President's shoulder.

"Oh, Miyuki, my boy, have you learned nothing from our time together?" Fujiwara said, shaking her head like a disappointed mother. "This… is terrible."

Shirogane's face fell. "What? Really? I thought it had a chance of winning the contest..."

"Hell no!" Fujiwara exploded. "For a start, Kurzawa was only his enemy for such a short time. You extrapolated so far off some character from like two chapters of the whole manga? Only hardcore fans would even remember! And it's way too long! And it's super based on astronomy. Who even does astronomy in the Sweet Today fandom? Nobody is gonna get any of the tropes! It's a dense symbolic tome with far too many throwaway references, it's like reading a test! How is this gonna win any contest!?

"And the worst thing is..." Chika paused for a moment, catching her breath after her tirade: "Nobody got eaten!"

"That's your biggest problem with it!?"

"Well that and you didn't even add any hot BL smut, even though there was that scene in the manga…" she trailed off, blushing furiously.

Shirogane sighed. "Thanks, Fujiwara, I can always count on you to tell it to me straight," Shirogane said monotonously. "I guess I just though, with so few entries to the contest, I might have had a chance…" His face was that of a broken man. "You can tell everyone about my failure of an attempt if you want."

"No, no, I'm not going to tell anyone," Fujiwara said with an expression of sympathy. "I wanna forget I read this myself."

Fujiwara muttered to herself as she left to splash some water on her face "I can't believe a member of the student council writes fanfiction…"

Thankfully, Iino was out of earshot.

Shirogane slumped back into his chair as secretary left the room. Fujiwara's 'feedback' still stung his delicate ego, but he was getting used to it, slowly but surely. I only really wrote this to explore ideas for making Kaguya confess, anyway, he rationalised. But, unlike Sakura, Kaguya doesn't need me to protect her. She needs someone who can stand by her side as an equal.

He was relieved more than anything, having narrowly dodged the bullet of having Chika Fujiwara discover his feelings. Fanfiction is terrifying.

But hearing it read back did remind me. I was originally only going to have Aizen go to space, but there's no way he could leave Sakura, even temporarily...

And so, another seed for Shirogane's Culture Festival plan was sown.

It was days later, and the results of the contest came in. Needless to say, Shirogane did not make the figurative podium. And matter how much he had primed himself for the fact, it still hurt to see it confirmed.

Shirogane closed the fanfiction tab on his smartphone and sighed. "I knew I should have done an Obstinate Octuplets fanfic instead," he muttered.

Fin