Author notes:

Hello! The final chapter is finally here! I truly apologize for the delay. I just kept getting distracted, and then when I would sit down to write, it would suck, and I knew the final chapter had to be the best it could be. This is the third rewrite, by my count. It still isn't perfect. But it's the best I can do with my current skills and sensibilities.

I was inspired to buckle down and finish this baby by the recent developments in the fandom: the cover and synopsis and release date for Fowl Twins 2, and now the new trailer for the movie, which looks like a blast! I'm overjoyed that this universe is getting expanded in such big ways lately. I couldn't be happier that my story will become obsolete after Fowl Twins 2, because it means there's new Fowl novels releasing! I look forward to continuing to be a part of this fandom as inevitably gets more active this year. I was also motivated to finish this by reading Timmy Failure, a great little kid's book series that happened to have an excellent bit of symbolism, an extended metaphor, that I could borrow for the emotional climax here. And I was determined not to let this sit unfinished for any longer, because it always sucks when a fic you like gets abandoned.

I shall endeavor in the future to have entire stories written before publishing chapter one, to avoid delays like this. That is, if I write more. I would certainly like to. The overwhelmingly positive comments here have meant the world to me. To be told that my writing is "like Colfer himself wrote it" absolutely floored me. Thank you! I certainly don't entirely agree with that sentiment myself, but I was so happy to see comments like it. This community is the best. I hope I don't let you down.

Without further ado, the final chapter:

.

Inside

As the night wore on, the five friends and family members enjoyed each other's company immensely, but eventually some had to retire.

Butler was the first to declare that he couldn't stay awake any longer. He was sure to remind everyone, as always, that he was not as young as he used to be. Artemis, in turn, was sure to point out, as always, that the amount of time Butler regularly spent saying such things had probably taken up an extra year of his life by now.

Then, when Beckett's exhausted face dropped into his food (unintentionally, for once), Myles deduced that it was bedtime for the twins as well.

This left Artemis and Holly sitting awkwardly at the grandiose dining table. Artemis chuckled. "You'd think we were in a retirement home. People going to bed at nine. How is one to scheme if one is asleep?"

Holly gave him a really? look. "Aren't you the one who pioneered how to do just that?"

"Well, obviously, I was referring to Myles. The poor genius hasn't figured out how to do it yet. I am, on the other hand, perfectly capable of scheming at all hours of the day."

Holly crossed her arms, and sighed. "There's a certain scheme of yours we need to talk about, by the way."

Artemis nodded, mock seriously. "Indeed. Shall I have Butler fetch the elephant gun?" At her confused glance, he added: "To nab the elephant in the room, of course."

She punched his arm. "Artemis! To even joke about ivory poaching…!"

"I know, I know, poor taste. I apologise." He rubbed his arm, and attempted a smooth segue. "However, speaking of taste, this house's air is uncomfortably reminiscent of the recycled air in the Interstellar. How would you feel about joining me on the beach?"

Holly nodded, satisfied with the suggestion. "Any excuse to breathe the cool night Ireland air, is fine with me." They both stood as one. She peered up at him. "You seem taller."

"Space," he explained. "I should lose the extra inch over time, though."

She digested this as she watched him take their plates to the kitchen. "And then you'll only be, what, two feet four taller?"

Artemis halted mid-motion at the counter. "Even among humans, there are frequently similar differences. Human dwarves exist. But I would have thought we'd not be hung up on such a..." He tried to find an appropriate, non-demeaning word. "...trivial detail." He resumed placing their plates into the self-cleaning sink.

Holly shrugged. "Fair enough. It's certainly not our primary concern."

The sink spoke in a familiar voice. "Shall I begin wash, or is there more to come?"

"Run cycle," Artemis instructed.

Holly, of course, recognized Nanni's voice, and rolled her eyes. She put on a mockery of Artemis' voice. "'Finally she will have some intelligence,' indeed," she snorted. "Look. Intelligent Holly is doing the dishes. You have all you need out of life."

Artemis went beet red, and pointed at a glass door that led out to the island's beach. "Shall we?"

Dalkey Island Coastline

The moon was full, and illuminated the coastline beautifully as Artemis and Holly walked parallel to the water. Two sets of footprints stretched back to the house. The pair chatted amiably.

Artemis, walking on the inside path relative to the coast, closer to the water, soon realized with some disdain that his trail of footprints was below the high tide mark. Holly's was a couple of meters further inland, safe from the sea's grasp in the immediate future. With the high tide coming in, Mother Nature would claim his tracks, but not hers.

Artemis stopped to ponder the tracks that lay behind them. Holly tracked his train of thought, and looked up with some concern at her human. "It doesn't mean anything," she assured him.

Artemis turned from her and knelt down on the sand, just a couple meters from the water. "It's us, Holly. And I've finally found a way for it to work." He began erecting a wall out of sand to protect his footprints from the encroaching tide.

"Hey," she objected. She walked around to his frontside to try to make eye contact. "Back up the hovertrolley."

Artemis looked briefly at Holly, who he found to be at eye level, since he was kneeling. "Beckett encouraged me to work with my hands more," he explained. And he went back to erecting his wall.

Holly pinwheeled her arms. "Hello?! Earth to mud man? We need to talk about this. You can't just make declarations of 'oh, we're finally free of all our worries' without some, I don't know, context, explanation, and consultation?"

Artemis, satisfied that his wall would protect a few of his past footsteps, finally made eye contact. "I don't understand your reservations," he explained.

Holly sighed. "Artemis, why did you leave?"

He shifted on his knees awkwardly. "Don't you remember our conversation in the barn? Before I left?"

Holly scoffed. "Of course I remember it. I remember it vividly. I remember it as the epitome of burying your head in the sand." She stomped her foot deep into the damp sand, for effect.

"Wait. I recall you agreeing with me, and parting on mutually beneficial terms," he protested.

"If by mutually beneficial, you mean that you stuck your head in the sand and I let you get away with it, then yeah. But it's not happening again."

Artemis absent-mindedly put a little more sand on his wall. He noticed the waves were coming a little higher now. "Well," he began. "You asked me why I left. But it sounds like you already think you know."

Holly thought back to her conversation the other day with Foaly, how he had pointed out that Artemis loves her. "I know the underlying cause, but the thing is, now you've come back. Nothing has changed on my end, and, I know you. You don't do things for no reason."

Artemis gulped. "Therefore you know that something changed on my end. Yes. And I think you know what it is. Myles and I are going to be working on it together, in fact. Brother-bonding exercise." He tried to spin it positively.

Holly scooped a handful of sand and chucked it into the water. "D'Arvit, Artemis! I knew it!"

Artemis readjusted to sit on his behind, not caring about the sand on his clothes. He called to Holly, who was now off kicking water around like it would do any good. "Holly, it's nothing but good news! We can finally live a normal life together! That is, if you're still carrying the torch like I hope you are."

Holly ceased her kicking, and breathed deeply in a way the LEP handbook said would be calming. It wasn't. She marched back to him. "You have got to get it through that thick skull of yours. You don't qualify relationships in terms of future events not even a soothsayer's phlegm pot could foresee!"

"I don't understand," he replied honestly.

"We've got to live in the here and now," she explained. "My whole life, people have been telling me how 'oh, I'd better not do this, and I'd better stay out of that, because oh, darling, this and that will bring you great pain in some arbitrary amount of decades from now!'" Holly mock-swooned. She pressed on. "I've had so many gatekeepers in my life. Beachwood, Sool, Trouble. All the Haven City councilmen. Don't be on that list, Arty. Please."

Artemis looked regretful. He glanced over to his sand wall. The waves were getting closer. He sighed. "You don't want me to hinge our relationship on experimental troll venom properties." It wasn't a question. And once he had said it, it even sounded foolish to him.

"Yes. I'm begging you, please drop it. At least for now. After the incident with your brothers, the LEP archivists looked into the subject. Turns out, it's come up over the years. And... it never ends well."

Artemis was touched, but... "I appreciate your concern, Holly. But still, to tell a man of science to drop a pursuit… And what about us?"

Holly closed the distance between them. She put her hands on his cheeks. "Artemis…" she began. "I'm just going to say it. I love you. I have for years. I should have said it in the barn."

Artemis smiled the most heartfelt smile that Holly had ever seen on him. "I love you too."

She dropped her hands from his person, feeling less warm and fuzzy than him. "But, Arty. That being said, if we're going to try to make this work, it won't be because of some biological experiment. I want to try to make this work just as we are now, just as you are now. It's not about stifling scientific pursuits. It's about being true to who we are. Man and elf, remember?"

Artemis felt moisture in his eyes, which for perhaps the first time in his life, he wasn't going to blame on environmental factors. "But…" he attempted.

Holly cut him off. "Along the way, if qualified professionals, human or fairy, come up with medically sound ways to give us more time, that's great, but it's not the linchpin here. I don't want to risk losing you. And not just to experimental harm either, but also to the obsessive pursuit of such things. People have lost their minds to far less."

Artemis thought back to all the crazed individuals he and his friends and family had encountered over the years. Holly had a point.

She continued, "I want you to promise me we'll move forward as mortals, for the time being. Can you do that?"

Artemis searched deep within his soul, for he knew this had to be an honest answer. Not just because he was done lying to Holly, but because he had to know for himself. He had turned his ship around, which now sat on the beach not far from them, on the promise of being able to avoid the lifespan problem. He didn't want her to lose him when she was still young. If she truly loved him, the pain his death would cause might be too much to bear. He didn't want the world to be without Holly Short on his account. It was perhaps an arrogant assumption to make that she'd follow him, but even if she was fine, and moved on, after his death, it would still suck.

But with her leaving the door open for life-prolonging steps down the road, and the way humans age slower when married to fairies anyways, as he had seen with Turnball and Leonor… And when he considered it, the way she wanted him to be safe like few others had, the way she wanted him just the way he was… There was only one answer.

In the corner of his eye, Artemis noticed the ocean's water recede farther than it yet had, in preparation for a wave.

After the long few moments that Holly graciously allowed him to ponder, he said simply: "I can."

The ocean sent the high wave. It washed over Artemis' sand wall, completely eroding it.

Holly smiled. "You promise?"

He took her hands in his. "I promise," he declared. Internally, a switch flipped. This was the end of his obtuse scheming and calculating when it came to Holly. No experimenting on the side, no fretting over life insurance or his eventual death. He could never break his word, or else the entire point of his life right now would be moot. It was honesty and clarity from here on out.

Holly moved in, and tentatively kissed her Arty. He enthusiastically returned the kiss, and then so did she, sealing the deal further. "I'm glad," she whispered.

"I love you," he stated earnestly. He found himself relieved to be able to say it out loud with no qualifications.

"I love you too, Arty," she said.

They spent a good amount of time then, just enjoying the moment, enjoying sharing the same breathing space.

Holly broke the silence. "Lie with me."

"Uh…?"

"Stargaze with me. Tell me everything about your voyage ad astra. It'll be like a, well, a date.

"Ah. Yes. I'd be delighted. I suppose you are supposed to be debriefing me." Artemis got up, and followed her to higher ground. He did not look back to see if the waves had claimed his footsteps yet. It wasn't important anymore.

Holly lay against a slope. Artemis followed her down, and put an arm around her. Under the moon, he observed her features in a new light. And yet it was also the same light as he had first observed her in, almost 15 years ago now. Ironically, he thought, she looks exactly the same. A couple more signs of action, maybe. Hair is a little longer. And she's much happier. But still beautiful.

Holly, of course, noticed his fond gaze. She reached up and squeezed his hand that was around her shoulder.

Artemis knew he would have decades at the least to study that same face, and so he reluctantly moved his gaze to the night sky. He tried to think of something interesting, but still felt Holly's eyes on him. He looked back to her.

She looked a trifle sheepish. "I just think it's funny how the moon makes your skin look even whiter," she offered. Before Artemis could chuckle too much, she pointed to the sky. "Tell me about something."

Artemis looked upwards with her, content. He searched for a spell for something suitably interesting, before pointing to a slightly reddish dot in the sky. "Well, since you asked, something very intriguing is happening with Betelgeuse..."

They stayed like that for hours, under the full moon. Eventually, the sun came to take its place, to signal not just the start of a new day… but a new life.

The End