Day 10

This Light

by darveyscactus

.-*°✧°*-.

For as long as he could remember, Hanukkah had always been his favorite holiday. In the grand scheme of things, Hanukkah wasn't a big or important holiday, but evenings spent huddled around the menorah in the living room window, eating latkes, and playing diedel with Esther and his parents were some of Louis' favorite memories from his childhood. Over the past several years his appreciation for the season was renewed as he experienced the holiday through the eyes of Esther's children and, regardless of whatever petty feud the two of them found themselves in the middle of, they were always able to put that aside and enjoy the season as a family.

Which is why he was upset when his parents decided to take Esther and her kids on a cruise that year instead of celebrating Hanukkah at home. His mom explained that the cruise was an attempt to cheer up Esther's kids after their parents' messy divorce earlier that year and while he agreed that the trip was a good idea, but he couldn't help feeling a bit sad at the thought of spending his favorite holiday alone.

Louis being Louis, of course, was channeling his feelings into rage - usually directed at unsuspecting associates and paralegals. And with Donna being Donna, she picked up on his misdirected displays of emotion less than a day after Louis found out about his family's change of plans.

"What was that?" she asked, entering his office after he'd chewed out a paralegal for a very minor mistake less than ten minutes after arriving that morning. She'd watched the whole ordeal from her cubicle on the other side of his glass walls and was sure the poor girl was going to collapse in terror as Louis loomed over her, red faced and screaming.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Donna. I was just providing guidance to that blossoming legal mind," he replied quickly, averting her gaze.

"Oh really?" she asked sarcastically, taking a seat in one of the chairs opposite Louis.

The two of them lock eyes and engage in a brief staring contest, Donna's pupils laser focused on Louis as she attempted to break his facade. After what felt like hours to him, but was really only 45 seconds, he relented with a sigh, breaking eye contact and shifting his gaze to his hands.

"My parents are taking Esther and her kids on a cruise," he admitted, raising his hands slightly in defeat.

"And you're mad you weren't invited?" Donna asked, attempting to fill in the blanks.

"Donna, why on earth would I want to spend six days locked on a floating death trap with my family? I mean, have you seen Titanic?" he responded.

Donna tilted her head to one side and narrowed her eyes, still not quite clear what had prompted Louis' outburst. She coughed to hide the laugh brought on by Louis' clear disdain of boats - something to unpack on another day, she thought.

"Then why…?" she started, gently prying and urging him to talk more.

"They're going to be gone for Hanukkah," he finally choked out, which made Donna sigh in understanding. She knew Louis long enough to know that Hanukkah was his favorite holiday and suddenly his heightened emotions made sense. After the year they'd all had he was no doubt looking forward to time away from the office with family.

"And I know it's stupid and selfish," he continued, "but the thought of spending the whole week alone -" he paused, before trailing off, knowing that Donna would understand the meaning behind his silence.

"It's not selfish at all Louis," Donna said, offering him a smile and some reassurance, "I'll celebrate with you," she said.

"Donna, you don't have to do that," he replied, not wanting her to feel obligated to spend her time off with him, "you're not even Jewish, don't waste your vacation time on me."

"It's never a waste of time to celebrate a favorite holiday with a friend," she assured him, reaching across his desk and giving his hand a squeeze.

In the end, Donna's promise to spend a night of Hanukkah with Louis extended to include Mike, Rachel, and even Harvey. She and Harvey had slowly started to mend fences after she moved to Louis' desk so, when Louis offered, she extended the invitation. She hadn't expected him to come, and was pleasantly surprised when he'd turned up on Louis' doorstep, two bottles of wine in hand.

They were in the living room huddled around his grandmother's old menorah, which she'd left for Louis when she died, as he explained the meaning of each of the nine candles - one to represent each night of hanukkah, and one to light the rest of the candles. Being that they'd gathered on the eighth and final night of the holiday, Louis lit all the candles of the menorah, moving right to left and reciting Hebrew prayers as he did.

After the menorah was lit, the group moved into the dining room where Louis had prepared a Hanukkah meal complete with beef brisket, latkes topped with applesauce and sour cream, and sufganiyot - jelly filled doughnuts from Louis' favorite Jewish bakery - for dessert. As they ate, they reminisced about the year past, recalling various highs and lows, laughing as they sipped wine and poked fun at each other. Rachel helped Louis clear the table and after all the dishes were in the kitchen to be dealt with later, he returned to the dining room sporting a grin a mile wide carrying what appeared to be a large bag of chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil.

"Where'd all that come from?" Mike asked as Louis dumped the contents on the middle of the table, "a gift from the Holiday Armadillo?" he jokingly added, which made both Donna and Rachel laugh.

"What the hell is a Holiday Armadillo?" Louis replied, taken aback by the question, not quite sure if he should laugh or be offended.

"It's from Friends," Donna clarified, "you know, the TV show?"

"Hmm, never seen it," Louis said, pursing his lips and dismissing the conversation as he pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Wait a minute," Rachel interrupted, resting her elbows on the table and leaning towards Louis, "you've never seen Friends?"

"What? No," he replied quickly, "if it's not a stage production I don't want it."

"Well, that's a character flaw," Donna retorted, which made everyone else at the table laugh, but only earned her a stern sideways glance from Louis.

"Are we done now?" Louis asked sarcastically, the group nodding through their laughter in reply.

"Are you going to tell us what these are for?" Harvey quibbed, gesturing to the pile of chocolate coins on the table in front of them.

"It's gelt," Louis clarified, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"It's what now?" Harvey asked, which earned him his own sideways glare from Louis.

"Chocolate coins," Donna whispered to Harvey, who was sitting to her left, "for dreidel," she explained, gesturing to the wooden top Louis had just placed on the table.

"The rules are simple," Louis started to explain as he divided the coins evenly amongst the five of them. "We all put in 2 coins to start, and then one coin each time you spin. I'll start, and then we move to the left," he said, explaining the logistics.

"Whatever's face up on the dreidel when it stops spinning is what you do," he said, taking the dreidel in one hand and showing the four sides. "This," he said pointing to the first symbol - a Hebrew letter similar to a capital J - "means you do nothing and your turn is over, "this," he continued, turning the dreidel over in his hands and pointing to the next symbol, "means you have to put another coin in the middle, this one means you get to take half of the pot," he continued, turning the dreidel over in his hand again, "and this," continued, pointing to the final symbol, "means you take the whole pot," he finished with a satisfied huff. "We keep playing until one person has all the coins," he added.

The game got underway and the competition was fierce. Harvey and Mike quickly bested Louis, irritating him to no end when he was the first with no coins left. Donna and Rachel found the whole thing amusing as they sipped their wine and were not nearly as invested as Harvey and Mike, who were the last two standing. After several back and forths and a couple of near misses filled with light hearted banter and laughs all around, Harvey finally won, scooping the entire stack of chocolate coins towards him with smug satisfaction.

It was later in the evening and Donna found herself outside on the terrace sipping wine by herself. It was unseasonably warm for mid-December and she'd grown tired of the legal conversations happening in the living room. She'd been outside for about twenty minutes and allowed her mind to wander to holidays past - reminiscing about those spent at home with her family as a child, and more recently those spent in the city with friends that had become family.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Harvey asked, his strong voice breaking the silence that had fallen around her as joined her on the steps.

"Nothing really, just thinking about things," she replied.

"Like what?" he pried gently, not wanting to push too far too fast. They hadn't been on the best terms since she'd moved to Louis' desk and despite his desire to solidify their friendship again, they'd hurt each other and he knew as well as anyone that sometimes time was what was really needed to heal wounds.

"Tonight reminded me of this couple used to live down the street from my parents when I was little," she explained.

"What were they like?" Harvey asked eagerly. Donna didn't talk about her childhood all that often, but he relished it when she did, enjoying every opportunity to learn more about her.

"They were an older Jewish couple - Mr. and Mrs. Rosenstein - and they'd moved to Cortland from the city once their kids had grown up. They were Holocaust survivors and some of the nicest people I'd ever met," she started, smiling as the memories came flooding back to her.

"Mrs. Rosenstein knew every kid on our street by name and she'd always give us leftover sweets from her family's holiday celebrations. My sister and I would always argue about which holiday yielded the best treats - she loved her challah, but Hanukkah was my favorite because of the seemingly never ending supply of chocolate coins," she continued, laughing under her breath, the easy way she was telling the story bringing a smile to Harvey's face too.

"I remember she came into my eighth grade history class and told us all about the Holocaust," she said, the tone of her voice dropping slightly, "I remember feeling so sad after she'd told us everything she'd been through. It broke my heart that such a kind person, a child, was on the receiving end of such senseless violence just because of who she prayed to and the holidays she celebrated," she finished, expelling a breath.

"Every year she invited the whole neighborhood to her family's big Hanukkah party, but we could never go because of Christmas plays, or school concerts, or dance, or whatever," she added, the tone of her voice low and a bit sad. "When I came home for Thanksgiving after my freshman year of college, I found out she'd passed away and when I saw her family gathering at her house for Hanukkah that year, I really wished we'd made time to go at least once," she finished, looking down at the near empty glass of wine in her hands.

"Well, I bet she's happy to see you finally celebrating Hanukkah," Harvey said, which made Donna smile and let out a breath, their bodies subconsciously shifting just a bit closer to one another as he spoke.

"Do you think they're going to be okay?" Rachel asked Louis, gesturing through the kitchen window to where Harvey and Donna sat on the terrace while the two of them washed and dried the dishes from dinner.

"They look okay right now," Louis offered halfheartedly.

"You know that's not what I meant," Rachel quibbed, lowering her gaze as she passed him a plate to dry.

"Honestly?" Louis started, looking toward Rachel for permission to speak frankly, which she gave with a nod, "I don't know what happened, and I'd never ask, but whatever it is it must have been big."

"What do you mean?" Rachel inquired, knowing it wasn't her place to give him all the details, but interested to hear his perspective nonetheless.

"They've been through so much," he explained, "but until now they've faced everything together. I have faith they'll work through whatever it is though, because they're better together," he finished, looking out the window to where his two friends sat talking.

"I hope you're right," Rachel breathed, following Louis' gaze, "because as much as Harvey isn't Harvey without Donna, Donna isn't Donna without Harvey, either. They just need to realize that for themselves, I think," she concluded.

Louis murmured in agreement and the pair fell back into a comfortable silence as they washed and dried the dishes.

"I'm really glad you all came tonight," Louis said after a few minutes, the tone of his voice sincere.

"Where else would we be?" Rachel asked, turning to face her friend.

"I know Louis is glad you came tonight," Donna said after a few minutes of contemplative silence had passed.

"I almost didn't," Harvey admitted with a breath, "but I'm glad I did - not every day I have the chance to steal all his money," he added with a laugh.

"They're chocolate coins, Harvey," she scolded, but she couldn't help the small laugh that escaped.

"Still counts for something," he said with a defiant huff. "Seriously though," he said, the tone of his voice more sincere than it had been a moment ago, "it was nice to celebrate a holiday that didn't end with someone storming out the door in anger. I haven't had that in awhile,' he admitted as he stood.

"Are you coming in?" he asked, offering his hand to her to help her up.

"I will in a minute," she replied, smiling up at him.

"Happy Hanukkah, Donna."

"Happy Hanukkah, Harvey," she replied as she watched him walk back inside before draining the last half sip of her wine and shifting her gaze skyward.

Like the lights in the temple all those years ago, and menorahs in Louis' kitchen and in the homes of Jewish people around the world, she felt a bit of hope burning inside of her. Hope that she and Harvey would come through it all and be friends again. Because as much as her heart ached for the could be or the might have been, her heart ached even more at the thought of losing her best friend. It might take a miracle for them to get there, but for the first time since she started on Louis' desk, she was feeling hopeful.

.-*°✧°*-.