Part Two

Richard Castle was falling. Literally falling—tripping over the luggage he had not properly put aside so he wouldn't fall over it in the unfamiliar hotel room space. As it was, he'd forgotten to put it aside the night before, and now, in the low morning light, he was falling. Grunting and cursing, the writer managed to catch himself on the doorframe of the bathroom, so that he only went down to one knee, and not flat on his face. With a huff of breath, he gave the suitcase a little kick, so it slid further out of the way then continued into the bathroom.

Returning to bed a few minutes later, Castle caught sight of the clock and grumbled. It was only 5:10. Normally, that would have been egregious time to feel as awake as he did except for the fact that he was currently on the West Coast; his body thought it was just after eight a.m. Pushing out a long breath, Castle lay on his back, closed his eyes, and willed his body to relax. He lay as still as he could, trying to think of nothing, but for some odd reason his mind drifted towards the reflection of himself he'd just seen in the mirror. It didn't focus on the darker circles under his eyes or the stubble on his chin, but the orange bubble above his head.

Four months had passed since the universe bestowed that very strange gift upon him. While he'd given up hope that whatever magical affects the amulet had would eventually ware off, for the most part Castle had learned to ignore the number bubbles he saw above everyone's head; it was better for his sanity that way.

Over the course of that time, he had learned several things about the bubbles. For instance, it seemed everyone's bubble defaulted to a grayscale; the lighter the gray, the more recently their number had increased. Oppositely, the longer they'd gone without an increase, the bubble would be closer to black (which he mostly only noticed on the elderly—and that one unfortunately gentleman loitering in the subway with only legs, not arms.) His bubble was always orange, and anyone whose bubbles he had contributed to turned green, which he'd noticed on Gina that very first night and on Meredith when she's stopped by to pick up Alexis for lunch the month before.

Beyond that, he didn't like to pay too much attention to them simply because the fact that he could see those numbers at all was, well, creepy.

After trying to doze for nearly another hour, Castle gave up and decided he'd just get an early start on the day. Besides he didn't know how early Beckett would want to get started and he didn't want to hold her up, particularly since they were only in Los Angeles because of the case involving her now-deceased former partner. He was there supporting her and not for the purpose of lounging around their hotel suite—as fun as that had been the night before, particularly with that moment they'd had.

Dipping his face under the warm spray of the shower, Castle briefly considered turning the knob a bit more towards the "cold" side—particularly when the image of Kate's steady gaze passed into his mind's eye. God, she was incredible—and he'd more or less told her exactly that, only saving himself at the very end by throwing in the joke about her being hot. Everything he said was true, though; she continually blew him away, particularly that week as he'd gotten to see a rawer side of her than he'd never seen before.

Castle always loved to learn more about her through the eyes of a case, but this one was difficult for him, as he was trying not to be jealous of the reverence she had for Royce. True, most of that seemed in the past, though if he recalled the last time Royce popped up on their case she'd also been rather emotional. More than anything, he hoped that one day she would feel that way about him as her partner.

No—no it was more than that. He didn't want to be just the partner that Royce had been to her. Kate's relationship with Royce seemed more of a student-teacher type sprinkled with a little bit of a schoolgirl crush. That's not what he wanted with her. He wanted them on equal ground so that their relationship—the one he dreamed they could have one day—would be a true partnership. He wanted them to be coworkers, friends, lovers, and everything in between. For one fleeting moment last night as the gaze in her eyes seared into his he thought they might achieve it, but like always she'd walked away, and though he'd hope she'd come back, she never did. But that was okay, if she wasn't ready. He'd wait—hell, he'd been waiting—but she was worth it.

Twenty-five minutes later, showered and freshly shaved, Castle stood in front of a room service cart pouring himself a cup of a rich, dark roast. He breathed in the aroma and almost whimpered at the scent; there really was nothing better than good coffee. With his cup in hand, he snagged the pastry included with the room service order and walked over to sit on the couch. He'd only been sitting a few minutes when some of the jam from the Danish spilled onto his thumb and Castle realized a napkin would probably be beneficial to him. He took a quick sip of coffee, which frankly was still a little too hot, and hurried over to the cart. Just as he plucked up one of the pristine white cloth napkins, he heard the door to Beckett's room open.

"Oohh is there already coffee?"

"Yep. I—oh!" Castle began coughing so violently that the pressed the napkin over his mouth and turned away from her, so she didn't see him spluttering. His instinct to gasp at the sight of her had been his determent and some of the hot liquid remaining in his mouth had escaped on its way to his esophagus and was trying to penetrate his trachea. Now almost doubling over, he began to sweat from both embarrassment and exertion.

"Castle? Are you okay?"

He could hear her approaching and scurried away as best he could while choking. He was afraid to get too close to her and once again see the thing that had shocked him, which, coincidentally, was the thing he'd spent the prior four months trying not to look at. God, why had he looked!?

"I'm…fine. I'm fine." He rasped out a few second later, sounding anything but.

The wise detective didn't believe him, of course, and instead grabbed one of the water bottles off the cart, twisted off the cap, and handed it to him. He nodded graciously to her, took a few small sips, and then felt recovered enough to straighten up and clear his throat. "Sorry; swallowed wrong."

"No kidding. Thanks for ordering the coffee, by the way. It's…what?"

"What?" he echoed, slightly startled.

She gazed at him curiously. "You're looking at me weird."

"No, I'm not." He responded quickly but—shit!—was he? He was desperately trying to look at her face and not at the number above her head that had not only rolled over from 2,999 to 3,000 overnight, but was now very, very green. Assuming he hadn't slept-walked into her bedroom the night before (which he was confident he had not) that certainly answered his long-standing wonderment of just how involved in the activity he had to be to change a woman's number from gray to green. He briefly wondered just how many other women's numbers had turned green that way but was interrupted by his partner's scolding tone.

"Yes, Castle. You're looking at me weird; stop it. What's going on with you this morning? Did you sleep poorly?"

"N-no. It's fine. I'm fine. How are you?"

She tilted her head to the side and momentarily narrowed her gaze. Then, shaking her head, she went over to pour herself some coffee. "I'm fine, but I don't want things to be weird."

"It's not weird." Except it totally is! He responded inside his brain. Not weird-weird just…intriguing. Interesting. Fascinating. Mind-blowing. The prior evening, she must have been thinking about him and only him while she—

"Castle!"

"What?!"

She threw up the hand not holding the coffee mug and proclaimed, "What is going on? Whatever it is, just say it if it's going to stop this weird staring."

"I… can't."

"Why not?"

"Because…" he hesitated for a moment while thinking of a reasonable response instead of the truthful one: he was afraid she might shoot him. "It's…this trip is about you, not me. I don't want to hijack our time here while we're looking for Royce's killers."

She sipped the coffee and sat down on the couch. "That's very nice of you Castle, but I'd also like my partner to be clear-headed, so if you want to get something off your chest…"

He made a noise somewhere in between a groan and a squeak and then sat down on the couch cushion furthest from her. "It's just…this thing has been happening ever since a few months ago in that magic shop."

Her eyes flared wide and she put her mug down so aggressively that some coffee sloshed out. "God, Castle—that amulet did make you sick, didn't it? Was it a shock? Did it damage your heart? Or you're-"

"No, no." He waved his hand to dismiss all her guesses. "It's nothing that serious. It's… well, the thing of it is…for some reason, and I don't know why or how, but for some reason, I can see these bubbles that-"

"You said you stopped seeing the bubbles!"

He winced and sheepishly admitted, "I lied." He watched anger flash across her eyes and quickly added, "But only because I didn't want you to worry about me!"

"Hallucinations are worrisome, Castle."

"They're not…they're not hallucinations."

Her gaze narrowed. "You can see something that other people cannot; that's the definition of a hallucination, Castle."

"Not…not entirely. See the thing that I can see…the bubbles…they're personal."

She arched a dubious eyebrow. "Personal? In what way?"

He huffed out a breath and briefly shut his eyes, knowing he just had to walk straight into her rage like it was a bed of coals he was trying to cross. "The bubbles have numbers inside them…numbers that represent how many times someone has, ah, orgasmed in their lifetime."

She blinked at him. Then blinked again. Then slowly moved her hands so that they rested atop her thighs as she asked quietly, "What?"

He dropped his chin to his chest when he realized she just used one of her tones from the interrogation room. It was the "I don't know if this suspect is utterly insane or about to confess, so I will tread lightly" tone. Grumbling, he leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him pleadingly. "I know I sound crazy, but I'm not. And." He took in a deep breath. "I can prove it."

"You can?"

"Yes, I can. The reason I choked on my coffee just now, is because when I looked at you this morning your number was actually-"

"Castle!" Kate pushed herself up from the couch and walked around to the other side of the coffee table, putting several feet of distance between them. When she spun back around, he could tell her ears were beginning to turn slightly pink.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. Last night I notice your-"

"No. Stop." She held up her hands in front of her. "That is a grotesque violation of my privacy!"

"I agree. It's a violation of everyone's privacy, but I didn't ask for this. It just happened because of that stupid amulet I touched. It couldn't have given me a cool power like invisibility," he added with a mutter.

If a year earlier, someone would have told him that he would have acquired a magical power and been mad about it, Castle would have outright refused to believe such a soothsayer. Then again, he never imagined acquiring a power so specifically invasive as this one. For the most part, seeing the numbers of those on the street didn't fluster him much, at least not now, four months in, but the closer the person was to him, the more bothered he was by it.

Although, in this particular instance, he was less upset and more intrigued simply for the fact that it proved something he'd always wondered: just how much did Beckett care for him? Yes, they flirted, and had more than a few moments when he thought their chemistry was spiking off the charts. Yet, for the most part, she didn't let her thoughts or feelings known. Now, there was no question about whether or not she found him attractive, but he still wondered how deep her feelings ran and hoped that in time he'd be able to find out.

"So…so…you just know everyone's numbers all the time?" she asked as she began to pace back and forth in the small area.

He nodded sheepishly. "I try not to look—really. After the initial novelty and horror wore off, I really don't pay attention to them anymore. It just so happened that your number-"

"No! I don't want to know." She brought her arms across her chest to hug her body.

Feeling guilty at her obvious discomfort the writer offered, "I'll also tell you mine in the interest of fairness."

"No, I don't want to know that; and I don't want you to know mine either."

"Trust me, if I could turn it off, I would. I don't need to see yours, or Esposito's or Ryan's and I definitely don't want to see my daughter's."

A rather pitiful laugh escaped Kate's lips and for the first time that morning she wore a slight smile. Feeling miserable, Castle dipped his head, but he also knew he earned a little teasing. "Oh, no…Castle…"

"Yeah." He huffed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "It's not great."

"I guess you can see your mother's too."

Feeling his stomach flip, Castle reached for the water bottle again and took a gulp. "I'd rather not discuss it."

Kate laughed again and returned to the couch beside him. "Gosh, Castle…why did this happen?"

"I have no idea, truly, but if I could mute it, I definitely-"

"Oh!" Kate commented with the ringing of her cellphone interrupted them. He nodded towards her, indicating she should answer the phone, then he turned back to his coffee. It was once again time to focus on Royce's case, though he very much doubted their present conversation was over.

Castle felt himself pulled from sleep by something bumping into his bed. Only, it wasn't actually a bed, it was an airplane seat that was bumped into by a flight attendant's service cart. He grumbled himself awake and opened his eyes to see Beckett balancing two coffee cups on her tray table. She gazed in his direction and gave him a soft smile. "Morning. Sleep okay?"

He yawned and stretched his arms up over his head. Sleeping on a red eye from LA to New York in economy class could not be considered great, but he supposed "okay" classified. "Not bad. You?"

She gave a little shrug. "No…too much thinking to do."

He hummed and thanked her for the coffee she'd procured for him. One sip told him that it was of the extra low airport quality, which, shockingly, was even worse than the Twelfth Precinct's standard swill, but it was better than no coffee. Taking another sip, he tried to hide a grimace, then turned back to his partner. "I can only imagine how hard this is for you." They had found the man responsible for Royce's death and brought him justice, but that wouldn't bring Kate's former partner back; nothing could do that.

She shook her head gently and sighed. "It's not just about Royce it's… us."

Castle felt his face flush at the mention of the subject normally forbidden from being discussed. "Us?" Was this conversation really about to happen? On an airplane twenty-thousand feet above the ground where neither of them could escape if it went awry?

She nodded, then wrung her hands tightly together, obviously struggling with what to say next. Intrigued, Castle leaned a bit closer to her, but said nothing. She needed to be the one to break the taboo on the subject and he couldn't force her into it.

After almost a full minute she confessed quietly, "I opened the door, Castle."

His brow furrowed immediately, having no idea if she referred to a physical or metaphorical door. "What door?"

She rotated her body in her seat so she could face him more directly. "Two nights ago, in the hotel room. We were on the couch talking, then I went to my room and I… I opened the door again. If…if you had still been by the couch, I don't know what would have happened."

His eyes drifting momentarily towards the green bubble over her head, Castle figured he had a pretty good idea of what might have happened but…god, were they ready for that yet? Yes, he wanted her, but there were other factors at play. "I was sitting there for a few moments, but-"

"While I was gathering up the nerve." She interjected in a rather irritated tone.

His train of thought derailed, he blinked and questioned, "The nerve?"

She nodded. "To tell you that I have feelings for you and that I…well, I'm not good with feelings. Romantic feelings. I'm not good at opening up to people in that way but…" She paused and fumbled with something in her lap. Castle looked down and spotted the folded sheet of paper she'd be carrying around with her; the note from Royce. He couldn't help but wonder if something in Royce's final words was nudging Kate towards opening up. If it was, he definitely owed that man a thank you.

"The truth is," Kate continued, "this weekend has shown me that I'd really like to change that."

Castle gazed at her for a moment and saw nothing but sincerity but then, remembering his original though, he felt slightly confused. "But you're…you're still dating Josh, aren't you?"

An embarrassed expression crossed her face. "Technically, but…it's been over for a while. He's just been the…safer option."

Feeling a bit singed, Castle echoed, "Safer?"

"Yeah." Her gaze intensified as she confessed, "Because there's no way I could fall in love with him."

"O-oh…" Castle stammered, shocked into near silence by her use of the "L" word. Her statement clearly implied that she couldn't fall in love with Josh, but that she could with him and that was…well, incredible in several different ways.

He'd first realized that he was falling in love with—well, pretty much already in love with—her during their ruse of a kiss several months earlier. He'd already broken up with Gina at that point, knowing their relationship was over for good and also knowing the exact person his heart desired next. Since then he'd been mostly waiting patiently for Kate open her eyes and hopefully realize that what they had was true, and real, and something that should be explored rather than avoided. She was cautious, but he was patient. He'd honestly expected to wait even longer, so a revelation like this was quite a relief. Though he still felt sad that it had to come at the expense of Royce's life.

"I'm going to need some time." Kate continued a minute later.

"Oh—oh yes. Of course." He smiled, reached out and brushed his fingertips against her left forearm. "Of course, Kate; all the time you need."

She smiled, too, and patted the back of his hand with hers. "I just needed you to know because…" She let out a long breath and shook her head, obviously a bit annoyed. "If there really is some ridiculous number floating above my head that increases every time… well, I'd like you to know that I'm not with anyone else. But also, never look at it again."

He couldn't help but chuckle at the threat she tacked on to the end of her statement. "I…I'll try not to—just like I try not to look at anyone's, but… in the interest of honesty, there's something you should know."

She grumbled. "Don't tell me it gives you the number and date of last activity, too."

He twisted his lips to the side. "Thankfully, no, but you might have preferred that to what I'm about to tell you."

Kate looked wary. "Okay…"

"The numbers…they're kind of color coded."

"Kind of?"

He nodded. "Yeah, everyone's is grayish, mine is orange, and, um, the women who I've been with have green numbers."

"Okay…" she said slowly, making it clear she wasn't sure why he was telling her this.

"Your number is green."

She leaned away, obviously shocked. "How? We haven't had sex."

"Right…" He hesitated. Then lowered his voice much further, "But, is it possible that last night you were thinking specifically about me when-"

"Oh god. Jesus." She gasped and covered her face. "Oh. No… Castle…"

He cringed at the pitiful way she said his name. "Sorry Kate, but it's what I see. And now I imagine you know for sure that I'm telling the truth about the bubbles." He very much doubted she'd actually confirm it aloud, but her body language was enough to convey that to him. Considering he'd never see her this embarrassed before, he didn't want to call her out on it any further, though he was enjoying it very much deep down inside.

After a moment Kate parted her fingers just enough to peek at him and he couldn't help but chuckle. Trying to make her feel better he said, "Don't be embarrassed Kate; we all do it."

"But!" She whined and then flopped her hands back down to her lap. "I'd never want anyone to know anything that…that…specific!"

"But it's very flattering—for me, of course. Hey!" He whined when she backhandedly smacked his arm.

"Stop. This is mortifying."

"Kate." He sighed and placed his hand over her forearm again. "It's fine, really. But I promise to never bring it up again."

"Why did you bring it up now?" she groaned.

"I wanted to be honest. I didn't want you to find out later that I actually knew and then be mad at me then."

She mumbled something under her breath and then huffed out. "Fine."

"Don't be embarrassed." He said softly. Then, feeling a bit bold, he leaned over and kissed the side of her head. Thankfully, this did seem to relax her expression a little bit, though she still seemed a bit stiff when she reached for her coffee cup.

She took a long sip, then gazed over at him from beneath her curtain of hair. Their eyes met for a moment then they both burst out laughing. Putting her coffee cup back on the tray she said, "Oh, Castle—why did this happen to you?"

He shook his head and reached for his own caffeine fix. "I don't know, but I imagine I'll be asking that for many years to come…"

"Have you ever told anyone else about this?"

He shook his head. "No…I don't want everyone to think I'm some sort of pervert."

"Well…"

"Beckett!"

She laughed. "It is kind of pervy…. Though I admit I am now wondering what the most ridiculous number you've ever seen is."

He clicked his tongue. "And you called me a perv."

She shrugged. "It's my detective's curiosity."

"Mmhm." He hummed skeptically. Then after a beat he asked, "You really want to know?" She nodded so he rotated his body to face her so he could speak as quietly as possible. "Well, for the most part, people's numbers are fairly consistent and proportional to their age, but there was this one time I saw a guy on the subway whose number was over fifteen thousand—and he looked way younger than me!"

When her brow wrinkled with obvious confusion he added, "Oh, right: context. Your number just flipped to three thousand and mine is around six."

She blinked and shook her head saying, "Wow, so much to process… so the guy was in his thirties and his number was fifteen thousand? But mine is only three?"

"Correct."

"Geez—how does anyone have that much time?!"

"Right?!" Castle laughed.

Beckett's face turned serious for a moment and she commented, "Your number is double mine."

"To be fair: I'm also almost a decade older."

She hummed and nodded. "Does that fit the pattern? I mean, are women's numbers generally lower the men's in the same age range?"

"Yes, generally, but that makes sense if you think about it. Most guys are probably in the thousands by the time they hit eighteen. Sorry Beckett." He chuckled when her face twisted into a grimace. "But as you know the truth isn't always pretty."

"I know, but I also generally don't like to visualize it."

He smiled. "Fair enough. At least you aren't forced to…like me."

She shook her head and then reached over to give his hand a little squeeze. "This really is the strangest curse. And of course it would happen to you."

"Beckett!" He balked immediately at her use of the "c" word, which he outright refused to entertain. "I am not cursed. It's a…passive magical power."

She arched one eyebrow in that way that made his heart flutter. "Oh so you're magic now?"

He put on his suave Richard-Castle-smirk, and confirmed, "I am, in many ways. Soon you'll find out just how many." As he wiggled his eyebrows at her he visualized the moment when he would help increase number bubble by one—and earn that green color honestly; it sent tingles all the way down to his toes.

Kate smiled back, and though she gave him one of her "Castle is being ridiculous" looks, she did sigh out, "You know? I'm kind of looking forward to it."

He settled back in his seat and nodded with agreement. "Me too, Beckett; me too."

A/N - thank you all so much for reading & reviewing this ficlet. I'm so glad you enjoyed it; i had a lot of fun writing it :)

happy holidays!