Contemplation, Part 1

By Spn Hemel Lass

Thomas sat staring out at the ocean, quiet and contemplative. Farther up the lawn, Juliet Higgins stood regarding the erstwhile security consultant puzzled by his behavior, frowning slightly. When the dogs had drawn her attention to the solitary man on the beach, she had checked her security tapes and realized he'd been sitting there ever since they returned from La Marianas last night. He'd never gone in to go to bed, just sat staring at the ocean. He also was making no move to get up and get a start on the day...or oh, change out of his clothes. It just wasn't like him. Neither had last night been like him. He'd been quiet all evening at the bar. He'd had a couple of beers and then stopped. She wondered what was going on. Suddenly the dogs let out a yip and took off across the lawn. She turned and was only mildly surprised to see a fresh-looking Rick ambling towards her, he had squatted down to give each dog some attention as they approached him, but had now resumed walking her way.

"Hello, Rick, you look fresh and ready to start your day."

"Almost, just wanted to swing by and check on our boy." When she responded by turning and pointing towards the beach, Rick froze, now standing next to her. "Aren't those the same clothes he was wearing last night?"

"That would be correct, Mr. Wright." The majordomo replied. "He's been sitting there ever since he got home from the bar last night. He never went to bed... He has not gone swimming or for his morning paddle. He just sits there, staring out at the ocean. I've been debating going to see what's bothering him, but I'm not sure he'd welcome the intrusion."

Rick frowned, contemplating his friend. "Let me handle this, Jules. I had a feeling last night something was going on. He didn't seem like himself to me. He wasn't really joining in, you know?"

"I do indeed. Thank you. Let me know if you ferret out what's amiss, will you?"

"Absolutely, Higgy." Rick continued ambling down the lawn towards Magnum.

* * * ( * * ) * * *

As he was getting closer, he saw Thomas was softly chucking small bits of rock into the water. "Hey, Thomas, you out here to terrorize the local fish or what?"

Thomas smiled at his friend, though the smile did not reach his eyes. "Morning, Orville."

"Oh, man...what did I do wrong that you called me that?"

"Well, my friend, technically, it is your name, Rick."

"Only technically as you well know, Tommy."

"Don't you have a new bar you need to open? " Magnum responded.

"Can't a guy check in on his bud anymore? Quit deflecting, buddy, it is not going to work. What's going on, Thomas?"

Magnum shrugged. "Who said anything was going on?"

"Well, let's see. You are just sitting here, hardly moving, harassing the local fish, in the same clothes you had on last night. Higgins tells me you have been out here all night, in pretty much the same spot. And last night you weren't your usual self, you were quiet...almost removed from the rest of us..."

Busted, Magnum thought. He shrugged again. "I'm just processing..."

"Uh-huh. Processing what, exactly?"

"It's no big deal, Rick." Magnum shrugged, but went on, reluctantly. "Abby broke up with me last night."

"What? Wait, why didn't you tell us?"

"It only just happened last night...and like I said, I'm still processing it...and you know...thinking..."

"Thomas..." Rick began to protest. "This is exactly why we all stayed together after we got out of the military...to BE there for each other during the good and the bad times. Remember how you guys were there for me when Toni left? We want to be there for you that same way, brother."

Thomas smirked at his friend. "You are going to buy me a plant?"

Rick couldn't help it. He laughed. "Funny, TM, very funny. You know exactly what I mean."

Thomas looked down a moment and shrugged. "I'm okay, Rick. I don't need that kind of support and attention." He hesitated a moment before going on. "I mean, I hadn't been seeing Abby as long as you were Toni and …" He shrugged. "It's just, she's the first woman I could see maybe having something with someday; something long term… and now it's just over. Plus, just like with Hannah doing what she did, I didn't get a vote in what happened. She just told me. I didn't get any input, she just told me it was over and cut me off from any chance of keeping it going. Why don't I get a vote or a voice? Huh?" He winced as that sounded too much like whining to his own ears.

Rick frowned, getting Thomas' complaint with far more understanding than his friend might realize. "I got you, Thomas. Welcome to 'empowered womanhood' which basically I am all for, but this whole, men don't even get a vote or a voice is just as wrong as the man having most of the control. How about some balance and truly equal partnerships instead, huh? What would be wrong with that? So," He paused a moment then went on, "did she give a reason for the split up?"

"Oh, yeah and I completely understand that part. The woman needs to be able to make a living and she can't here in Hawaii anymore."

Rick looked confused. "Wow, things are bad when a lawyer can't make a living in Hawaii. My pro bono case didn't cost her that much!"

"No, it's our fault – me and Higgins. See Abby isn't a lawyer any more in Hawaii. Hawaii disbarred her because she went against the interests of her 'client'."

"Who committed an actual crime!" Rick sounded outraged, "And besides, she asked you to investigate, so it's not your fault! She must have known this could happen."

"Oh, she did…and technically she didn't ask the two of US - Higgins and myself, she hired Harry…"

"Yeah, but he had a health thing and you were helping him out by taking over the case for him when he couldn't, so…."

"She wasn't mad at me, Rick. She just decided to move back to the mainland and start a Pro Bono law clinic…."

"Well, 'Pro Bono' doesn't sound like she's planning on making money, TM…"

"Yeah, but I guess there is funding she can use to make a living from it…and her family is back there, so…" Thomas shrugged wondering why he was defending Abby, but he had to make sure Rick understood the facts of the situation. "And her license to practice law isn't pulled back there."

"Yet! If Hawaii's Bar Association is feeling particularly vindictive they can notify wherever she winds up of why they pulled it, and, it could happen there, too."

Magnum sighed. "All good points, Rick, but again, I don't get a vote. She preemptively ruled out trying a long-distance relationship…and her reasoning as she presented it was just weird…"

"Share with the class, Thomas…" Rick gave a 'come on, finish up' gesture.

"She claimed…" Magnum made quote marks in the air… " 'And I think that there might be somebody else out there who is better suited for you. Somebody who knows you in a way that nobody else ever will…' " Magnum shook his head. "I mean, Rick, you know I love you and TC, but as you well know, I don't swing that way! And you are the only people I can think of who know me in a way that nobody else ever will…There is certainly no WOMAN out there like that. To me, it almost sounded like she thought I was semi-cheating on her…which is completely not true."

Rick immediately realized who Abby had been referring to, but he knew Magnum was not ready to hear it, so he schooled his expression to hide his thoughts from Thomas. He would share that with TC when he got to La Mariana. "I know you weren't cheating on her, Tommy. That's totally against your nature…but, really, how well did Abby know you? Did you ever tell her about Hannah, the betrayal, the camps….any of that stuff?"

Thomas shook his head, acknowledging the point. "Abby couldn't even understand why I went to Annapolis or why I wanted to be a SEAL; she didn't understand why I served, so how could a civilian like her understand all of that other stuff? So I kept that stuff private. I mean, if we'd have gone on longer, I would have told her eventually, but I thought maybe keeping the military stuff out of it would work better for us. Lord knows, Hannah knew way too much and that didn't turn out so well." His eyes drifted to the ocean waves again. "Heck, I never even told her I was the basis for the White Knight character."

"Yeah, but, Thomas, you can't hide your real self from someone if you want to have a real relationship ~~ that's not healthy."

Magnum tensed slightly. "You know I hate that psycho-babble stuff, Rick. I know you and TC have found help from that stuff, but it didn't work out so well for me in Germany."

Wright barked a laugh. "Like you ever gave the group therapy a chance to help? And, yeah, the counselor they assigned to you was a total waste of air and space and did you more harm than good, but again, you never gave therapy a chance, Thomas. Besides TC is the one who thinks Shammy's support group might be a good idea for all of us. I have my own way of coping, as you well know."

"Playing at the gun range and cleaning your weapons, I know." Thomas nodded, understandingly. "But blowing things up would get me locked up around here; the state of Hawaii and the local police aren't exactly understanding about that sort of thing. My paddling and swimming and getting out there is my therapy, but right now isn't the best time for me to indulge in that. I might try to swim to Japan or something."

Rick's face gave away how much that remark frightened him. "Is it that bad, Thomas?"

Magnum shook his head. "I shouldn't have said that out loud…and you notice I am sitting here not out on the water. I can't explain it, Rick, but it's like I'm in a landslide and everything is hitting me all at once."

"Meaning memories of Hannah, I mean she just died two weeks ago, buddy, so this on top of that, still recovering from losing Nuzo, and every other freakin' thing…it's all piling up on you. I get that, Thomas, but, if you really feel like you are about ready to go for that really long swim, you call me. No ifs, no ands or buts. You read me five by five, sailor?"

"Yes, Rick. I promised you that, okay? I keep my promises!"

"I know you do, but this is only the second time you mentioned taking that swim and it bothers me a whole lot that you still think about that. Offing yourself is NOT an option, brother! You wouldn't do that to us, would you?"

Magnum's shoulders slumped. "As I said, I shouldn't have said that out loud."

"Yes, you should have, if you have even a glimmer of a thought of it. That's critical, that I know I can trust you to tell me if that thought rears its' ugly face!"

"A promise is a promise, Rick," Magnum assured him. He looked pleadingly at his friend. "Don't tell TC about that, Rick."

"Look I didn't before, but now, I've got to, Thomas. How would you feel if I kept this from you?"

Thomas sighed. "Oh boy, I'm in for it now."

"Well, I'll try to keep him calm, Tommy, that's all I can promise." Rick consoled his friend. He bumped his shoulder into Magnum's and wiggled his eyebrows. "Remember, together we can get through anything." He flashed his ring…and earned a slight smile, seasoned with an eye roll.

* * * ( * * ) * * *

A/N: This is what in JAG fanfiction we used to call a 'missing scene' or reaction piece. I just wanted to see how Rick and TC found out that Abby broke up with Thomas and see some brotherly bonding and concern for their bro...and for all the Miggy shippers out there, I decided to let Higgins express some concern for our boy, too. Personally, I think the way the show writer's show Higgins' acting is more than a little like she has a bit of a split personality. She shows concern but also acts like he's a dweeb who doesn't deserve concern half the time. I think the fact she ever shows any concern at all is a triumph of the actress playing the part. We'll see TC's initial reaction in the next (and probably last) part.